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1 The Picture of Dorian Gray
2
3 by
4
5 Oscar Wilde
6
7
8
9
10 THE PREFACE
11
12 The artist is the creator of beautiful things. To reveal art and
13 conceal the artist is art's aim. The critic is he who can translate
14 into another manner or a new material his impression of beautiful
15 things.
16
17 The highest as the lowest form of criticism is a mode of autobiography.
18 Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without
19 being charming. This is a fault.
20
21 Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are the
22 cultivated. For these there is hope. They are the elect to whom
23 beautiful things mean only beauty.
24
25 There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well
26 written, or badly written. That is all.
27
28 The nineteenth century dislike of realism is the rage of Caliban seeing
29 his own face in a glass.
30
31 The nineteenth century dislike of romanticism is the rage of Caliban
32 not seeing his own face in a glass. The moral life of man forms part
33 of the subject-matter of the artist, but the morality of art consists
34 in the perfect use of an imperfect medium. No artist desires to prove
35 anything. Even things that are true can be proved. No artist has
36 ethical sympathies. An ethical sympathy in an artist is an
37 unpardonable mannerism of style. No artist is ever morbid. The artist
38 can express everything. Thought and language are to the artist
39 instruments of an art. Vice and virtue are to the artist materials for
40 an art. From the point of view of form, the type of all the arts is
41 the art of the musician. From the point of view of feeling, the
42 actor's craft is the type. All art is at once surface and symbol.
43 Those who go beneath the surface do so at their peril. Those who read
44 the symbol do so at their peril. It is the spectator, and not life,
45 that art really mirrors. Diversity of opinion about a work of art
46 shows that the work is new, complex, and vital. When critics disagree,
47 the artist is in accord with himself. We can forgive a man for making
48 a useful thing as long as he does not admire it. The only excuse for
49 making a useless thing is that one admires it intensely.
50
51 All art is quite useless.
52
53 OSCAR WILDE
54
55
56
57
58 CHAPTER 1
59
60 The studio was filled with the rich odour of roses, and when the light
61 summer wind stirred amidst the trees of the garden, there came through
62 the open door the heavy scent of the lilac, or the more delicate
63 perfume of the pink-flowering thorn.
64
65 From the corner of the divan of Persian saddle-bags on which he was
66 lying, smoking, as was his custom, innumerable cigarettes, Lord Henry
67 Wotton could just catch the gleam of the honey-sweet and honey-coloured
68 blossoms of a laburnum, whose tremulous branches seemed hardly able to
69 bear the burden of a beauty so flamelike as theirs; and now and then
70 the fantastic shadows of birds in flight flitted across the long
71 tussore-silk curtains that were stretched in front of the huge window,
72 producing a kind of momentary Japanese effect, and making him think of
73 those pallid, jade-faced painters of Tokyo who, through the medium of
74 an art that is necessarily immobile, seek to convey the sense of
75 swiftness and motion. The sullen murmur of the bees shouldering their
76 way through the long unmown grass, or circling with monotonous
77 insistence round the dusty gilt horns of the straggling woodbine,
78 seemed to make the stillness more oppressive. The dim roar of London
79 was like the bourdon note of a distant organ.
80
81 In the centre of the room, clamped to an upright easel, stood the
82 full-length portrait of a young man of extraordinary personal beauty,
83 and in front of it, some little distance away, was sitting the artist
84 himself, Basil Hallward, whose sudden disappearance some years ago
85 caused, at the time, such public excitement and gave rise to so many
86 strange conjectures.
87
88 As the painter looked at the gracious and comely form he had so
89 skilfully mirrored in his art, a smile of pleasure passed across his
90 face, and seemed about to linger there. But he suddenly started up,
91 and closing his eyes, placed his fingers upon the lids, as though he
92 sought to imprison within his brain some curious dream from which he
93 feared he might awake.
94
95 "It is your best work, Basil, the best thing you have ever done," said
96 Lord Henry languidly. "You must certainly send it next year to the
97 Grosvenor. The Academy is too large and too vulgar. Whenever I have
98 gone there, there have been either so many people that I have not been
99 able to see the pictures, which was dreadful, or so many pictures that
100 I have not been able to see the people, which was worse. The Grosvenor
101 is really the only place."
102
103 "I don't think I shall send it anywhere," he answered, tossing his head
104 back in that odd way that used to make his friends laugh at him at
105 Oxford. "No, I won't send it anywhere."
106
107 Lord Henry elevated his eyebrows and looked at him in amazement through
108 the thin blue wreaths of smoke that curled up in such fanciful whorls
109 from his heavy, opium-tainted cigarette. "Not send it anywhere? My
110 dear fellow, why? Have you any reason? What odd chaps you painters
111 are! You do anything in the world to gain a reputation. As soon as
112 you have one, you seem to want to throw it away. It is silly of you,
113 for there is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about,
114 and that is not being talked about. A portrait like this would set you
115 far above all the young men in England, and make the old men quite
116 jealous, if old men are ever capable of any emotion."
117
118 "I know you will laugh at me," he replied, "but I really can't exhibit
119 it. I have put too much of myself into it."
120
121 Lord Henry stretched himself out on the divan and laughed.
122
123 "Yes, I knew you would; but it is quite true, all the same."
124
125 "Too much of yourself in it! Upon my word, Basil, I didn't know you
126 were so vain; and I really can't see any resemblance between you, with
127 your rugged strong face and your coal-black hair, and this young
128 Adonis, who looks as if he was made out of ivory and rose-leaves. Why,
129 my dear Basil, he is a Narcissus, and you--well, of course you have an
130 intellectual expression and all that. But beauty, real beauty, ends
131 where an intellectual expression begins. Intellect is in itself a mode
132 of exaggeration, and destroys the harmony of any face. The moment one
133 sits down to think, one becomes all nose, or all forehead, or something
134 horrid. Look at the successful men in any of the learned professions.
135 How perfectly hideous they are! Except, of course, in the Church. But
136 then in the Church they don't think. A bishop keeps on saying at the
137 age of eighty what he was told to say when he was a boy of eighteen,
138 and as a natural consequence he always looks absolutely delightful.
139 Your mysterious young friend, whose name you have never told me, but
140 whose picture really fascinates me, never thinks. I feel quite sure of
141 that. He is some brainless beautiful creature who should be always
142 here in winter when we have no flowers to look at, and always here in
143 summer when we want something to chill our intelligence. Don't flatter
144 yourself, Basil: you are not in the least like him."
145
146 "You don't understand me, Harry," answered the artist. "Of course I am
147 not like him. I know that perfectly well. Indeed, I should be sorry
148 to look like him. You shrug your shoulders? I am telling you the
149 truth. There is a fatality about all physical and intellectual
150 distinction, the sort of fatality that seems to dog through history the
151 faltering steps of kings. It is better not to be different from one's
152 fellows. The ugly and the stupid have the best of it in this world.
153 They can sit at their ease and gape at the play. If they know nothing
154 of victory, they are at least spared the knowledge of defeat. They
155 live as we all should live--undisturbed, indifferent, and without
156 disquiet. They neither bring ruin upon others, nor ever receive it
157 from alien hands. Your rank and wealth, Harry; my brains, such as they
158 are--my art, whatever it may be worth; Dorian Gray's good looks--we
159 shall all suffer for what the gods have given us, suffer terribly."
160
161 "Dorian Gray? Is that his name?" asked Lord Henry, walking across the
162 studio towards Basil Hallward.
163
164 "Yes, that is his name. I didn't intend to tell it to you."
165
166 "But why not?"
167
168 "Oh, I can't explain. When I like people immensely, I never tell their
169 names to any one. It is like surrendering a part of them. I have
170 grown to love secrecy. It seems to be the one thing that can make
171 modern life mysterious or marvellous to us. The commonest thing is
172 delightful if one only hides it. When I leave town now I never tell my
173 people where I am going. If I did, I would lose all my pleasure. It
174 is a silly habit, I dare say, but somehow it seems to bring a great
175 deal of romance into one's life. I suppose you think me awfully
176 foolish about it?"
177
178 "Not at all," answered Lord Henry, "not at all, my dear Basil. You
179 seem to forget that I am married, and the one charm of marriage is that
180 it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. I
181 never know where my wife is, and my wife never knows what I am doing.
182 When we meet--we do meet occasionally, when we dine out together, or go
183 down to the Duke's--we tell each other the most absurd stories with the
184 most serious faces. My wife is very good at it--much better, in fact,
185 than I am. She never gets confused over her dates, and I always do.
186 But when she does find me out, she makes no row at all. I sometimes
187 wish she would; but she merely laughs at me."
188
189 "I hate the way you talk about your married life, Harry," said Basil
190 Hallward, strolling towards the door that led into the garden. "I
191 believe that you are really a very good husband, but that you are
192 thoroughly ashamed of your own virtues. You are an extraordinary
193 fellow. You never say a moral thing, and you never do a wrong thing.
194 Your cynicism is simply a pose."
195
196 "Being natural is simply a pose, and the most irritating pose I know,"
197 cried Lord Henry, laughing; and the two young men went out into the
198 garden together and ensconced themselves on a long bamboo seat that
199 stood in the shade of a tall laurel bush. The sunlight slipped over
200 the polished leaves. In the grass, white daisies were tremulous.
201
202 After a pause, Lord Henry pulled out his watch. "I am afraid I must be
203 going, Basil," he murmured, "and before I go, I insist on your
204 answering a question I put to you some time ago."
205
206 "What is that?" said the painter, keeping his eyes fixed on the ground.
207
208 "You know quite well."
209
210 "I do not, Harry."
211
212 "Well, I will tell you what it is. I want you to explain to me why you
213 won't exhibit Dorian Gray's picture. I want the real reason."
214
215 "I told you the real reason."
216
217 "No, you did not. You said it was because there was too much of
218 yourself in it. Now, that is childish."
219
220 "Harry," said Basil Hallward, looking him straight in the face, "every
221 portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not
222 of the sitter. The sitter is merely the accident, the occasion. It is
223 not he who is revealed by the painter; it is rather the painter who, on
224 the coloured canvas, reveals himself. The reason I will not exhibit
225 this picture is that I am afraid that I have shown in it the secret of
226 my own soul."
227
228 Lord Henry laughed. "And what is that?" he asked.
229
230 "I will tell you," said Hallward; but an expression of perplexity came
231 over his face.
232
233 "I am all expectation, Basil," continued his companion, glancing at him.
234
235 "Oh, there is really very little to tell, Harry," answered the painter;
236 "and I am afraid you will hardly understand it. Perhaps you will
237 hardly believe it."
238
239 Lord Henry smiled, and leaning down, plucked a pink-petalled daisy from
240 the grass and examined it. "I am quite sure I shall understand it," he
241 replied, gazing intently at the little golden, white-feathered disk,
242 "and as for believing things, I can believe anything, provided that it
243 is quite incredible."
244
245 The wind shook some blossoms from the trees, and the heavy
246 lilac-blooms, with their clustering stars, moved to and fro in the
247 languid air. A grasshopper began to chirrup by the wall, and like a
248 blue thread a long thin dragon-fly floated past on its brown gauze
249 wings. Lord Henry felt as if he could hear Basil Hallward's heart
250 beating, and wondered what was coming.
251
252 "The story is simply this," said the painter after some time. "Two
253 months ago I went to a crush at Lady Brandon's. You know we poor
254 artists have to show ourselves in society from time to time, just to
255 remind the public that we are not savages. With an evening coat and a
256 white tie, as you told me once, anybody, even a stock-broker, can gain
257 a reputation for being civilized. Well, after I had been in the room
258 about ten minutes, talking to huge overdressed dowagers and tedious
259 academicians, I suddenly became conscious that some one was looking at
260 me. I turned half-way round and saw Dorian Gray for the first time.
261 When our eyes met, I felt that I was growing pale. A curious sensation
262 of terror came over me. I knew that I had come face to face with some
263 one whose mere personality was so fascinating that, if I allowed it to
264 do so, it would absorb my whole nature, my whole soul, my very art
265 itself. I did not want any external influence in my life. You know
266 yourself, Harry, how independent I am by nature. I have always been my
267 own master; had at least always been so, till I met Dorian Gray.
268 Then--but I don't know how to explain it to you. Something seemed to
269 tell me that I was on the verge of a terrible crisis in my life. I had
270 a strange feeling that fate had in store for me exquisite joys and
271 exquisite sorrows. I grew afraid and turned to quit the room. It was
272 not conscience that made me do so: it was a sort of cowardice. I take
273 no credit to myself for trying to escape."
274
275 "Conscience and cowardice are really the same things, Basil.
276 Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all."
277
278 "I don't believe that, Harry, and I don't believe you do either.
279 However, whatever was my motive--and it may have been pride, for I used
280 to be very proud--I certainly struggled to the door. There, of course,
281 I stumbled against Lady Brandon. 'You are not going to run away so
282 soon, Mr. Hallward?' she screamed out. You know her curiously shrill
283 voice?"
284
285 "Yes; she is a peacock in everything but beauty," said Lord Henry,
286 pulling the daisy to bits with his long nervous fingers.
287
288 "I could not get rid of her. She brought me up to royalties, and
289 people with stars and garters, and elderly ladies with gigantic tiaras
290 and parrot noses. She spoke of me as her dearest friend. I had only
291 met her once before, but she took it into her head to lionize me. I
292 believe some picture of mine had made a great success at the time, at
293 least had been chattered about in the penny newspapers, which is the
294 nineteenth-century standard of immortality. Suddenly I found myself
295 face to face with the young man whose personality had so strangely
296 stirred me. We were quite close, almost touching. Our eyes met again.
297 It was reckless of me, but I asked Lady Brandon to introduce me to him.
298 Perhaps it was not so reckless, after all. It was simply inevitable.
299 We would have spoken to each other without any introduction. I am sure
300 of that. Dorian told me so afterwards. He, too, felt that we were
301 destined to know each other."
302
303 "And how did Lady Brandon describe this wonderful young man?" asked his
304 companion. "I know she goes in for giving a rapid _precis_ of all her
305 guests. I remember her bringing me up to a truculent and red-faced old
306 gentleman covered all over with orders and ribbons, and hissing into my
307 ear, in a tragic whisper which must have been perfectly audible to
308 everybody in the room, the most astounding details. I simply fled. I
309 like to find out people for myself. But Lady Brandon treats her guests
310 exactly as an auctioneer treats his goods. She either explains them
311 entirely away, or tells one everything about them except what one wants
312 to know."
313
314 "Poor Lady Brandon! You are hard on her, Harry!" said Hallward
315 listlessly.
316
317 "My dear fellow, she tried to found a _salon_, and only succeeded in
318 opening a restaurant. How could I admire her? But tell me, what did
319 she say about Mr. Dorian Gray?"
320
321 "Oh, something like, 'Charming boy--poor dear mother and I absolutely
322 inseparable. Quite forget what he does--afraid he--doesn't do
323 anything--oh, yes, plays the piano--or is it the violin, dear Mr.
324 Gray?' Neither of us could help laughing, and we became friends at
325 once."
326
327 "Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far
328 the best ending for one," said the young lord, plucking another daisy.
329
330 Hallward shook his head. "You don't understand what friendship is,
331 Harry," he murmured--"or what enmity is, for that matter. You like
332 every one; that is to say, you are indifferent to every one."
333
334 "How horribly unjust of you!" cried Lord Henry, tilting his hat back
335 and looking up at the little clouds that, like ravelled skeins of
336 glossy white silk, were drifting across the hollowed turquoise of the
337 summer sky. "Yes; horribly unjust of you. I make a great difference
338 between people. I choose my friends for their good looks, my
339 acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their good
340 intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
341 I have not got one who is a fool. They are all men of some
342 intellectual power, and consequently they all appreciate me. Is that
343 very vain of me? I think it is rather vain."
344
345 "I should think it was, Harry. But according to your category I must
346 be merely an acquaintance."
347
348 "My dear old Basil, you are much more than an acquaintance."
349
350 "And much less than a friend. A sort of brother, I suppose?"
351
352 "Oh, brothers! I don't care for brothers. My elder brother won't die,
353 and my younger brothers seem never to do anything else."
354
355 "Harry!" exclaimed Hallward, frowning.
356
357 "My dear fellow, I am not quite serious. But I can't help detesting my
358 relations. I suppose it comes from the fact that none of us can stand
359 other people having the same faults as ourselves. I quite sympathize
360 with the rage of the English democracy against what they call the vices
361 of the upper orders. The masses feel that drunkenness, stupidity, and
362 immorality should be their own special property, and that if any one of
363 us makes an ass of himself, he is poaching on their preserves. When
364 poor Southwark got into the divorce court, their indignation was quite
365 magnificent. And yet I don't suppose that ten per cent of the
366 proletariat live correctly."
367
368 "I don't agree with a single word that you have said, and, what is
369 more, Harry, I feel sure you don't either."
370
371 Lord Henry stroked his pointed brown beard and tapped the toe of his
372 patent-leather boot with a tasselled ebony cane. "How English you are
373 Basil! That is the second time you have made that observation. If one
374 puts forward an idea to a true Englishman--always a rash thing to
375 do--he never dreams of considering whether the idea is right or wrong.
376 The only thing he considers of any importance is whether one believes
377 it oneself. Now, the value of an idea has nothing whatsoever to do
378 with the sincerity of the man who expresses it. Indeed, the
379 probabilities are that the more insincere the man is, the more purely
380 intellectual will the idea be, as in that case it will not be coloured
381 by either his wants, his desires, or his prejudices. However, I don't
382 propose to discuss politics, sociology, or metaphysics with you. I
383 like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no
384 principles better than anything else in the world. Tell me more about
385 Mr. Dorian Gray. How often do you see him?"
386
387 "Every day. I couldn't be happy if I didn't see him every day. He is
388 absolutely necessary to me."
389
390 "How extraordinary! I thought you would never care for anything but
391 your art."
392
393 "He is all my art to me now," said the painter gravely. "I sometimes
394 think, Harry, that there are only two eras of any importance in the
395 world's history. The first is the appearance of a new medium for art,
396 and the second is the appearance of a new personality for art also.
397 What the invention of oil-painting was to the Venetians, the face of
398 Antinous was to late Greek sculpture, and the face of Dorian Gray will
399 some day be to me. It is not merely that I paint from him, draw from
400 him, sketch from him. Of course, I have done all that. But he is much
401 more to me than a model or a sitter. I won't tell you that I am
402 dissatisfied with what I have done of him, or that his beauty is such
403 that art cannot express it. There is nothing that art cannot express,
404 and I know that the work I have done, since I met Dorian Gray, is good
405 work, is the best work of my life. But in some curious way--I wonder
406 will you understand me?--his personality has suggested to me an
407 entirely new manner in art, an entirely new mode of style. I see
408 things differently, I think of them differently. I can now recreate
409 life in a way that was hidden from me before. 'A dream of form in days
410 of thought'--who is it who says that? I forget; but it is what Dorian
411 Gray has been to me. The merely visible presence of this lad--for he
412 seems to me little more than a lad, though he is really over
413 twenty--his merely visible presence--ah! I wonder can you realize all
414 that that means? Unconsciously he defines for me the lines of a fresh
415 school, a school that is to have in it all the passion of the romantic
416 spirit, all the perfection of the spirit that is Greek. The harmony of
417 soul and body--how much that is! We in our madness have separated the
418 two, and have invented a realism that is vulgar, an ideality that is
419 void. Harry! if you only knew what Dorian Gray is to me! You remember
420 that landscape of mine, for which Agnew offered me such a huge price
421 but which I would not part with? It is one of the best things I have
422 ever done. And why is it so? Because, while I was painting it, Dorian
423 Gray sat beside me. Some subtle influence passed from him to me, and
424 for the first time in my life I saw in the plain woodland the wonder I
425 had always looked for and always missed."
426
427 "Basil, this is extraordinary! I must see Dorian Gray."
428
429 Hallward got up from the seat and walked up and down the garden. After
430 some time he came back. "Harry," he said, "Dorian Gray is to me simply
431 a motive in art. You might see nothing in him. I see everything in
432 him. He is never more present in my work than when no image of him is
433 there. He is a suggestion, as I have said, of a new manner. I find
434 him in the curves of certain lines, in the loveliness and subtleties of
435 certain colours. That is all."
436
437 "Then why won't you exhibit his portrait?" asked Lord Henry.
438
439 "Because, without intending it, I have put into it some expression of
440 all this curious artistic idolatry, of which, of course, I have never
441 cared to speak to him. He knows nothing about it. He shall never know
442 anything about it. But the world might guess it, and I will not bare
443 my soul to their shallow prying eyes. My heart shall never be put
444 under their microscope. There is too much of myself in the thing,
445 Harry--too much of myself!"
446
447 "Poets are not so scrupulous as you are. They know how useful passion
448 is for publication. Nowadays a broken heart will run to many editions."
449
450 "I hate them for it," cried Hallward. "An artist should create
451 beautiful things, but should put nothing of his own life into them. We
452 live in an age when men treat art as if it were meant to be a form of
453 autobiography. We have lost the abstract sense of beauty. Some day I
454 will show the world what it is; and for that reason the world shall
455 never see my portrait of Dorian Gray."
456
457 "I think you are wrong, Basil, but I won't argue with you. It is only
458 the intellectually lost who ever argue. Tell me, is Dorian Gray very
459 fond of you?"
460
461 The painter considered for a few moments. "He likes me," he answered
462 after a pause; "I know he likes me. Of course I flatter him
463 dreadfully. I find a strange pleasure in saying things to him that I
464 know I shall be sorry for having said. As a rule, he is charming to
465 me, and we sit in the studio and talk of a thousand things. Now and
466 then, however, he is horribly thoughtless, and seems to take a real
467 delight in giving me pain. Then I feel, Harry, that I have given away
468 my whole soul to some one who treats it as if it were a flower to put
469 in his coat, a bit of decoration to charm his vanity, an ornament for a
470 summer's day."
471
472 "Days in summer, Basil, are apt to linger," murmured Lord Henry.
473 "Perhaps you will tire sooner than he will. It is a sad thing to think
474 of, but there is no doubt that genius lasts longer than beauty. That
475 accounts for the fact that we all take such pains to over-educate
476 ourselves. In the wild struggle for existence, we want to have
477 something that endures, and so we fill our minds with rubbish and
478 facts, in the silly hope of keeping our place. The thoroughly
479 well-informed man--that is the modern ideal. And the mind of the
480 thoroughly well-informed man is a dreadful thing. It is like a
481 _bric-a-brac_ shop, all monsters and dust, with everything priced above
482 its proper value. I think you will tire first, all the same. Some day
483 you will look at your friend, and he will seem to you to be a little
484 out of drawing, or you won't like his tone of colour, or something.
485 You will bitterly reproach him in your own heart, and seriously think
486 that he has behaved very badly to you. The next time he calls, you
487 will be perfectly cold and indifferent. It will be a great pity, for
488 it will alter you. What you have told me is quite a romance, a romance
489 of art one might call it, and the worst of having a romance of any kind
490 is that it leaves one so unromantic."
491
492 "Harry, don't talk like that. As long as I live, the personality of
493 Dorian Gray will dominate me. You can't feel what I feel. You change
494 too often."
495
496 "Ah, my dear Basil, that is exactly why I can feel it. Those who are
497 faithful know only the trivial side of love: it is the faithless who
498 know love's tragedies." And Lord Henry struck a light on a dainty
499 silver case and began to smoke a cigarette with a self-conscious and
500 satisfied air, as if he had summed up the world in a phrase. There was
501 a rustle of chirruping sparrows in the green lacquer leaves of the ivy,
502 and the blue cloud-shadows chased themselves across the grass like
503 swallows. How pleasant it was in the garden! And how delightful other
504 people's emotions were!--much more delightful than their ideas, it
505 seemed to him. One's own soul, and the passions of one's
506 friends--those were the fascinating things in life. He pictured to
507 himself with silent amusement the tedious luncheon that he had missed
508 by staying so long with Basil Hallward. Had he gone to his aunt's, he
509 would have been sure to have met Lord Goodbody there, and the whole
510 conversation would have been about the feeding of the poor and the
511 necessity for model lodging-houses. Each class would have preached the
512 importance of those virtues, for whose exercise there was no necessity
513 in their own lives. The rich would have spoken on the value of thrift,
514 and the idle grown eloquent over the dignity of labour. It was
515 charming to have escaped all that! As he thought of his aunt, an idea
516 seemed to strike him. He turned to Hallward and said, "My dear fellow,
517 I have just remembered."
518
519 "Remembered what, Harry?"
520
521 "Where I heard the name of Dorian Gray."
522
523 "Where was it?" asked Hallward, with a slight frown.
524
525 "Don't look so angry, Basil. It was at my aunt, Lady Agatha's. She
526 told me she had discovered a wonderful young man who was going to help
527 her in the East End, and that his name was Dorian Gray. I am bound to
528 state that she never told me he was good-looking. Women have no
529 appreciation of good looks; at least, good women have not. She said
530 that he was very earnest and had a beautiful nature. I at once
531 pictured to myself a creature with spectacles and lank hair, horribly
532 freckled, and tramping about on huge feet. I wish I had known it was
533 your friend."
534
535 "I am very glad you didn't, Harry."
536
537 "Why?"
538
539 "I don't want you to meet him."
540
541 "You don't want me to meet him?"
542
543 "No."
544
545 "Mr. Dorian Gray is in the studio, sir," said the butler, coming into
546 the garden.
547
548 "You must introduce me now," cried Lord Henry, laughing.
549
550 The painter turned to his servant, who stood blinking in the sunlight.
551 "Ask Mr. Gray to wait, Parker: I shall be in in a few moments." The
552 man bowed and went up the walk.
553
554 Then he looked at Lord Henry. "Dorian Gray is my dearest friend," he
555 said. "He has a simple and a beautiful nature. Your aunt was quite
556 right in what she said of him. Don't spoil him. Don't try to
557 influence him. Your influence would be bad. The world is wide, and
558 has many marvellous people in it. Don't take away from me the one
559 person who gives to my art whatever charm it possesses: my life as an
560 artist depends on him. Mind, Harry, I trust you." He spoke very
561 slowly, and the words seemed wrung out of him almost against his will.
562
563 "What nonsense you talk!" said Lord Henry, smiling, and taking Hallward
564 by the arm, he almost led him into the house.
565
566
567
568 CHAPTER 2
569
570 As they entered they saw Dorian Gray. He was seated at the piano, with
571 his back to them, turning over the pages of a volume of Schumann's
572 "Forest Scenes." "You must lend me these, Basil," he cried. "I want
573 to learn them. They are perfectly charming."
574
575 "That entirely depends on how you sit to-day, Dorian."
576
577 "Oh, I am tired of sitting, and I don't want a life-sized portrait of
578 myself," answered the lad, swinging round on the music-stool in a
579 wilful, petulant manner. When he caught sight of Lord Henry, a faint
580 blush coloured his cheeks for a moment, and he started up. "I beg your
581 pardon, Basil, but I didn't know you had any one with you."
582
583 "This is Lord Henry Wotton, Dorian, an old Oxford friend of mine. I
584 have just been telling him what a capital sitter you were, and now you
585 have spoiled everything."
586
587 "You have not spoiled my pleasure in meeting you, Mr. Gray," said Lord
588 Henry, stepping forward and extending his hand. "My aunt has often
589 spoken to me about you. You are one of her favourites, and, I am
590 afraid, one of her victims also."
591
592 "I am in Lady Agatha's black books at present," answered Dorian with a
593 funny look of penitence. "I promised to go to a club in Whitechapel
594 with her last Tuesday, and I really forgot all about it. We were to
595 have played a duet together--three duets, I believe. I don't know what
596 she will say to me. I am far too frightened to call."
597
598 "Oh, I will make your peace with my aunt. She is quite devoted to you.
599 And I don't think it really matters about your not being there. The
600 audience probably thought it was a duet. When Aunt Agatha sits down to
601 the piano, she makes quite enough noise for two people."
602
603 "That is very horrid to her, and not very nice to me," answered Dorian,
604 laughing.
605
606 Lord Henry looked at him. Yes, he was certainly wonderfully handsome,
607 with his finely curved scarlet lips, his frank blue eyes, his crisp
608 gold hair. There was something in his face that made one trust him at
609 once. All the candour of youth was there, as well as all youth's
610 passionate purity. One felt that he had kept himself unspotted from
611 the world. No wonder Basil Hallward worshipped him.
612
613 "You are too charming to go in for philanthropy, Mr. Gray--far too
614 charming." And Lord Henry flung himself down on the divan and opened
615 his cigarette-case.
616
617 The painter had been busy mixing his colours and getting his brushes
618 ready. He was looking worried, and when he heard Lord Henry's last
619 remark, he glanced at him, hesitated for a moment, and then said,
620 "Harry, I want to finish this picture to-day. Would you think it
621 awfully rude of me if I asked you to go away?"
622
623 Lord Henry smiled and looked at Dorian Gray. "Am I to go, Mr. Gray?"
624 he asked.
625
626 "Oh, please don't, Lord Henry. I see that Basil is in one of his sulky
627 moods, and I can't bear him when he sulks. Besides, I want you to tell
628 me why I should not go in for philanthropy."
629
630 "I don't know that I shall tell you that, Mr. Gray. It is so tedious a
631 subject that one would have to talk seriously about it. But I
632 certainly shall not run away, now that you have asked me to stop. You
633 don't really mind, Basil, do you? You have often told me that you
634 liked your sitters to have some one to chat to."
635
636 Hallward bit his lip. "If Dorian wishes it, of course you must stay.
637 Dorian's whims are laws to everybody, except himself."
638
639 Lord Henry took up his hat and gloves. "You are very pressing, Basil,
640 but I am afraid I must go. I have promised to meet a man at the
641 Orleans. Good-bye, Mr. Gray. Come and see me some afternoon in Curzon
642 Street. I am nearly always at home at five o'clock. Write to me when
643 you are coming. I should be sorry to miss you."
644
645 "Basil," cried Dorian Gray, "if Lord Henry Wotton goes, I shall go,
646 too. You never open your lips while you are painting, and it is
647 horribly dull standing on a platform and trying to look pleasant. Ask
648 him to stay. I insist upon it."
649
650 "Stay, Harry, to oblige Dorian, and to oblige me," said Hallward,
651 gazing intently at his picture. "It is quite true, I never talk when I
652 am working, and never listen either, and it must be dreadfully tedious
653 for my unfortunate sitters. I beg you to stay."
654
655 "But what about my man at the Orleans?"
656
657 The painter laughed. "I don't think there will be any difficulty about
658 that. Sit down again, Harry. And now, Dorian, get up on the platform,
659 and don't move about too much, or pay any attention to what Lord Henry
660 says. He has a very bad influence over all his friends, with the
661 single exception of myself."
662
663 Dorian Gray stepped up on the dais with the air of a young Greek
664 martyr, and made a little _moue_ of discontent to Lord Henry, to whom he
665 had rather taken a fancy. He was so unlike Basil. They made a
666 delightful contrast. And he had such a beautiful voice. After a few
667 moments he said to him, "Have you really a very bad influence, Lord
668 Henry? As bad as Basil says?"
669
670 "There is no such thing as a good influence, Mr. Gray. All influence
671 is immoral--immoral from the scientific point of view."
672
673 "Why?"
674
675 "Because to influence a person is to give him one's own soul. He does
676 not think his natural thoughts, or burn with his natural passions. His
677 virtues are not real to him. His sins, if there are such things as
678 sins, are borrowed. He becomes an echo of some one else's music, an
679 actor of a part that has not been written for him. The aim of life is
680 self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly--that is what each
681 of us is here for. People are afraid of themselves, nowadays. They
682 have forgotten the highest of all duties, the duty that one owes to
683 one's self. Of course, they are charitable. They feed the hungry and
684 clothe the beggar. But their own souls starve, and are naked. Courage
685 has gone out of our race. Perhaps we never really had it. The terror
686 of society, which is the basis of morals, the terror of God, which is
687 the secret of religion--these are the two things that govern us. And
688 yet--"
689
690 "Just turn your head a little more to the right, Dorian, like a good
691 boy," said the painter, deep in his work and conscious only that a look
692 had come into the lad's face that he had never seen there before.
693
694 "And yet," continued Lord Henry, in his low, musical voice, and with
695 that graceful wave of the hand that was always so characteristic of
696 him, and that he had even in his Eton days, "I believe that if one man
697 were to live out his life fully and completely, were to give form to
698 every feeling, expression to every thought, reality to every dream--I
699 believe that the world would gain such a fresh impulse of joy that we
700 would forget all the maladies of mediaevalism, and return to the
701 Hellenic ideal--to something finer, richer than the Hellenic ideal, it
702 may be. But the bravest man amongst us is afraid of himself. The
703 mutilation of the savage has its tragic survival in the self-denial
704 that mars our lives. We are punished for our refusals. Every impulse
705 that we strive to strangle broods in the mind and poisons us. The body
706 sins once, and has done with its sin, for action is a mode of
707 purification. Nothing remains then but the recollection of a pleasure,
708 or the luxury of a regret. The only way to get rid of a temptation is
709 to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for
710 the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its
711 monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful. It has been said that
712 the great events of the world take place in the brain. It is in the
713 brain, and the brain only, that the great sins of the world take place
714 also. You, Mr. Gray, you yourself, with your rose-red youth and your
715 rose-white boyhood, you have had passions that have made you afraid,
716 thoughts that have filled you with terror, day-dreams and sleeping
717 dreams whose mere memory might stain your cheek with shame--"
718
719 "Stop!" faltered Dorian Gray, "stop! you bewilder me. I don't know
720 what to say. There is some answer to you, but I cannot find it. Don't
721 speak. Let me think. Or, rather, let me try not to think."
722
723 For nearly ten minutes he stood there, motionless, with parted lips and
724 eyes strangely bright. He was dimly conscious that entirely fresh
725 influences were at work within him. Yet they seemed to him to have
726 come really from himself. The few words that Basil's friend had said
727 to him--words spoken by chance, no doubt, and with wilful paradox in
728 them--had touched some secret chord that had never been touched before,
729 but that he felt was now vibrating and throbbing to curious pulses.
730
731 Music had stirred him like that. Music had troubled him many times.
732 But music was not articulate. It was not a new world, but rather
733 another chaos, that it created in us. Words! Mere words! How
734 terrible they were! How clear, and vivid, and cruel! One could not
735 escape from them. And yet what a subtle magic there was in them! They
736 seemed to be able to give a plastic form to formless things, and to
737 have a music of their own as sweet as that of viol or of lute. Mere
738 words! Was there anything so real as words?
739
740 Yes; there had been things in his boyhood that he had not understood.
741 He understood them now. Life suddenly became fiery-coloured to him.
742 It seemed to him that he had been walking in fire. Why had he not
743 known it?
744
745 With his subtle smile, Lord Henry watched him. He knew the precise
746 psychological moment when to say nothing. He felt intensely
747 interested. He was amazed at the sudden impression that his words had
748 produced, and, remembering a book that he had read when he was sixteen,
749 a book which had revealed to him much that he had not known before, he
750 wondered whether Dorian Gray was passing through a similar experience.
751 He had merely shot an arrow into the air. Had it hit the mark? How
752 fascinating the lad was!
753
754 Hallward painted away with that marvellous bold touch of his, that had
755 the true refinement and perfect delicacy that in art, at any rate comes
756 only from strength. He was unconscious of the silence.
757
758 "Basil, I am tired of standing," cried Dorian Gray suddenly. "I must
759 go out and sit in the garden. The air is stifling here."
760
761 "My dear fellow, I am so sorry. When I am painting, I can't think of
762 anything else. But you never sat better. You were perfectly still.
763 And I have caught the effect I wanted--the half-parted lips and the
764 bright look in the eyes. I don't know what Harry has been saying to
765 you, but he has certainly made you have the most wonderful expression.
766 I suppose he has been paying you compliments. You mustn't believe a
767 word that he says."
768
769 "He has certainly not been paying me compliments. Perhaps that is the
770 reason that I don't believe anything he has told me."
771
772 "You know you believe it all," said Lord Henry, looking at him with his
773 dreamy languorous eyes. "I will go out to the garden with you. It is
774 horribly hot in the studio. Basil, let us have something iced to
775 drink, something with strawberries in it."
776
777 "Certainly, Harry. Just touch the bell, and when Parker comes I will
778 tell him what you want. I have got to work up this background, so I
779 will join you later on. Don't keep Dorian too long. I have never been
780 in better form for painting than I am to-day. This is going to be my
781 masterpiece. It is my masterpiece as it stands."
782
783 Lord Henry went out to the garden and found Dorian Gray burying his
784 face in the great cool lilac-blossoms, feverishly drinking in their
785 perfume as if it had been wine. He came close to him and put his hand
786 upon his shoulder. "You are quite right to do that," he murmured.
787 "Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the
788 senses but the soul."
789
790 The lad started and drew back. He was bareheaded, and the leaves had
791 tossed his rebellious curls and tangled all their gilded threads.
792 There was a look of fear in his eyes, such as people have when they are
793 suddenly awakened. His finely chiselled nostrils quivered, and some
794 hidden nerve shook the scarlet of his lips and left them trembling.
795
796 "Yes," continued Lord Henry, "that is one of the great secrets of
797 life--to cure the soul by means of the senses, and the senses by means
798 of the soul. You are a wonderful creation. You know more than you
799 think you know, just as you know less than you want to know."
800
801 Dorian Gray frowned and turned his head away. He could not help liking
802 the tall, graceful young man who was standing by him. His romantic,
803 olive-coloured face and worn expression interested him. There was
804 something in his low languid voice that was absolutely fascinating.
805 His cool, white, flowerlike hands, even, had a curious charm. They
806 moved, as he spoke, like music, and seemed to have a language of their
807 own. But he felt afraid of him, and ashamed of being afraid. Why had
808 it been left for a stranger to reveal him to himself? He had known
809 Basil Hallward for months, but the friendship between them had never
810 altered him. Suddenly there had come some one across his life who
811 seemed to have disclosed to him life's mystery. And, yet, what was
812 there to be afraid of? He was not a schoolboy or a girl. It was
813 absurd to be frightened.
814
815 "Let us go and sit in the shade," said Lord Henry. "Parker has brought
816 out the drinks, and if you stay any longer in this glare, you will be
817 quite spoiled, and Basil will never paint you again. You really must
818 not allow yourself to become sunburnt. It would be unbecoming."
819
820 "What can it matter?" cried Dorian Gray, laughing, as he sat down on
821 the seat at the end of the garden.
822
823 "It should matter everything to you, Mr. Gray."
824
825 "Why?"
826
827 "Because you have the most marvellous youth, and youth is the one thing
828 worth having."
829
830 "I don't feel that, Lord Henry."
831
832 "No, you don't feel it now. Some day, when you are old and wrinkled
833 and ugly, when thought has seared your forehead with its lines, and
834 passion branded your lips with its hideous fires, you will feel it, you
835 will feel it terribly. Now, wherever you go, you charm the world.
836 Will it always be so? ... You have a wonderfully beautiful face, Mr.
837 Gray. Don't frown. You have. And beauty is a form of genius--is
838 higher, indeed, than genius, as it needs no explanation. It is of the
839 great facts of the world, like sunlight, or spring-time, or the
840 reflection in dark waters of that silver shell we call the moon. It
841 cannot be questioned. It has its divine right of sovereignty. It
842 makes princes of those who have it. You smile? Ah! when you have lost
843 it you won't smile.... People say sometimes that beauty is only
844 superficial. That may be so, but at least it is not so superficial as
845 thought is. To me, beauty is the wonder of wonders. It is only
846 shallow people who do not judge by appearances. The true mystery of
847 the world is the visible, not the invisible.... Yes, Mr. Gray, the
848 gods have been good to you. But what the gods give they quickly take
849 away. You have only a few years in which to live really, perfectly,
850 and fully. When your youth goes, your beauty will go with it, and then
851 you will suddenly discover that there are no triumphs left for you, or
852 have to content yourself with those mean triumphs that the memory of
853 your past will make more bitter than defeats. Every month as it wanes
854 brings you nearer to something dreadful. Time is jealous of you, and
855 wars against your lilies and your roses. You will become sallow, and
856 hollow-cheeked, and dull-eyed. You will suffer horribly.... Ah!
857 realize your youth while you have it. Don't squander the gold of your
858 days, listening to the tedious, trying to improve the hopeless failure,
859 or giving away your life to the ignorant, the common, and the vulgar.
860 These are the sickly aims, the false ideals, of our age. Live! Live
861 the wonderful life that is in you! Let nothing be lost upon you. Be
862 always searching for new sensations. Be afraid of nothing.... A new
863 Hedonism--that is what our century wants. You might be its visible
864 symbol. With your personality there is nothing you could not do. The
865 world belongs to you for a season.... The moment I met you I saw that
866 you were quite unconscious of what you really are, of what you really
867 might be. There was so much in you that charmed me that I felt I must
868 tell you something about yourself. I thought how tragic it would be if
869 you were wasted. For there is such a little time that your youth will
870 last--such a little time. The common hill-flowers wither, but they
871 blossom again. The laburnum will be as yellow next June as it is now.
872 In a month there will be purple stars on the clematis, and year after
873 year the green night of its leaves will hold its purple stars. But we
874 never get back our youth. The pulse of joy that beats in us at twenty
875 becomes sluggish. Our limbs fail, our senses rot. We degenerate into
876 hideous puppets, haunted by the memory of the passions of which we were
877 too much afraid, and the exquisite temptations that we had not the
878 courage to yield to. Youth! Youth! There is absolutely nothing in
879 the world but youth!"
880
881 Dorian Gray listened, open-eyed and wondering. The spray of lilac fell
882 from his hand upon the gravel. A furry bee came and buzzed round it
883 for a moment. Then it began to scramble all over the oval stellated
884 globe of the tiny blossoms. He watched it with that strange interest
885 in trivial things that we try to develop when things of high import
886 make us afraid, or when we are stirred by some new emotion for which we
887 cannot find expression, or when some thought that terrifies us lays
888 sudden siege to the brain and calls on us to yield. After a time the
889 bee flew away. He saw it creeping into the stained trumpet of a Tyrian
890 convolvulus. The flower seemed to quiver, and then swayed gently to
891 and fro.
892
893 Suddenly the painter appeared at the door of the studio and made
894 staccato signs for them to come in. They turned to each other and
895 smiled.
896
897 "I am waiting," he cried. "Do come in. The light is quite perfect,
898 and you can bring your drinks."
899
900 They rose up and sauntered down the walk together. Two green-and-white
901 butterflies fluttered past them, and in the pear-tree at the corner of
902 the garden a thrush began to sing.
903
904 "You are glad you have met me, Mr. Gray," said Lord Henry, looking at
905 him.
906
907 "Yes, I am glad now. I wonder shall I always be glad?"
908
909 "Always! That is a dreadful word. It makes me shudder when I hear it.
910 Women are so fond of using it. They spoil every romance by trying to
911 make it last for ever. It is a meaningless word, too. The only
912 difference between a caprice and a lifelong passion is that the caprice
913 lasts a little longer."
914
915 As they entered the studio, Dorian Gray put his hand upon Lord Henry's
916 arm. "In that case, let our friendship be a caprice," he murmured,
917 flushing at his own boldness, then stepped up on the platform and
918 resumed his pose.
919
920 Lord Henry flung himself into a large wicker arm-chair and watched him.
921 The sweep and dash of the brush on the canvas made the only sound that
922 broke the stillness, except when, now and then, Hallward stepped back
923 to look at his work from a distance. In the slanting beams that
924 streamed through the open doorway the dust danced and was golden. The
925 heavy scent of the roses seemed to brood over everything.
926
927 After about a quarter of an hour Hallward stopped painting, looked for
928 a long time at Dorian Gray, and then for a long time at the picture,
929 biting the end of one of his huge brushes and frowning. "It is quite
930 finished," he cried at last, and stooping down he wrote his name in
931 long vermilion letters on the left-hand corner of the canvas.
932
933 Lord Henry came over and examined the picture. It was certainly a
934 wonderful work of art, and a wonderful likeness as well.
935
936 "My dear fellow, I congratulate you most warmly," he said. "It is the
937 finest portrait of modern times. Mr. Gray, come over and look at
938 yourself."
939
940 The lad started, as if awakened from some dream.
941
942 "Is it really finished?" he murmured, stepping down from the platform.
943
944 "Quite finished," said the painter. "And you have sat splendidly
945 to-day. I am awfully obliged to you."
946
947 "That is entirely due to me," broke in Lord Henry. "Isn't it, Mr.
948 Gray?"
949
950 Dorian made no answer, but passed listlessly in front of his picture
951 and turned towards it. When he saw it he drew back, and his cheeks
952 flushed for a moment with pleasure. A look of joy came into his eyes,
953 as if he had recognized himself for the first time. He stood there
954 motionless and in wonder, dimly conscious that Hallward was speaking to
955 him, but not catching the meaning of his words. The sense of his own
956 beauty came on him like a revelation. He had never felt it before.
957 Basil Hallward's compliments had seemed to him to be merely the
958 charming exaggeration of friendship. He had listened to them, laughed
959 at them, forgotten them. They had not influenced his nature. Then had
960 come Lord Henry Wotton with his strange panegyric on youth, his
961 terrible warning of its brevity. That had stirred him at the time, and
962 now, as he stood gazing at the shadow of his own loveliness, the full
963 reality of the description flashed across him. Yes, there would be a
964 day when his face would be wrinkled and wizen, his eyes dim and
965 colourless, the grace of his figure broken and deformed. The scarlet
966 would pass away from his lips and the gold steal from his hair. The
967 life that was to make his soul would mar his body. He would become
968 dreadful, hideous, and uncouth.
969
970 As he thought of it, a sharp pang of pain struck through him like a
971 knife and made each delicate fibre of his nature quiver. His eyes
972 deepened into amethyst, and across them came a mist of tears. He felt
973 as if a hand of ice had been laid upon his heart.
974
975 "Don't you like it?" cried Hallward at last, stung a little by the
976 lad's silence, not understanding what it meant.
977
978 "Of course he likes it," said Lord Henry. "Who wouldn't like it? It
979 is one of the greatest things in modern art. I will give you anything
980 you like to ask for it. I must have it."
981
982 "It is not my property, Harry."
983
984 "Whose property is it?"
985
986 "Dorian's, of course," answered the painter.
987
988 "He is a very lucky fellow."
989
990 "How sad it is!" murmured Dorian Gray with his eyes still fixed upon
991 his own portrait. "How sad it is! I shall grow old, and horrible, and
992 dreadful. But this picture will remain always young. It will never be
993 older than this particular day of June.... If it were only the other
994 way! If it were I who was to be always young, and the picture that was
995 to grow old! For that--for that--I would give everything! Yes, there
996 is nothing in the whole world I would not give! I would give my soul
997 for that!"
998
999 "You would hardly care for such an arrangement, Basil," cried Lord
1000 Henry, laughing. "It would be rather hard lines on your work."
1001
1002 "I should object very strongly, Harry," said Hallward.
1003
1004 Dorian Gray turned and looked at him. "I believe you would, Basil.
1005 You like your art better than your friends. I am no more to you than a
1006 green bronze figure. Hardly as much, I dare say."
1007
1008 The painter stared in amazement. It was so unlike Dorian to speak like
1009 that. What had happened? He seemed quite angry. His face was flushed
1010 and his cheeks burning.
1011
1012 "Yes," he continued, "I am less to you than your ivory Hermes or your
1013 silver Faun. You will like them always. How long will you like me?
1014 Till I have my first wrinkle, I suppose. I know, now, that when one
1015 loses one's good looks, whatever they may be, one loses everything.
1016 Your picture has taught me that. Lord Henry Wotton is perfectly right.
1017 Youth is the only thing worth having. When I find that I am growing
1018 old, I shall kill myself."
1019
1020 Hallward turned pale and caught his hand. "Dorian! Dorian!" he cried,
1021 "don't talk like that. I have never had such a friend as you, and I
1022 shall never have such another. You are not jealous of material things,
1023 are you?--you who are finer than any of them!"
1024
1025 "I am jealous of everything whose beauty does not die. I am jealous of
1026 the portrait you have painted of me. Why should it keep what I must
1027 lose? Every moment that passes takes something from me and gives
1028 something to it. Oh, if it were only the other way! If the picture
1029 could change, and I could be always what I am now! Why did you paint
1030 it? It will mock me some day--mock me horribly!" The hot tears welled
1031 into his eyes; he tore his hand away and, flinging himself on the
1032 divan, he buried his face in the cushions, as though he was praying.
1033
1034 "This is your doing, Harry," said the painter bitterly.
1035
1036 Lord Henry shrugged his shoulders. "It is the real Dorian Gray--that
1037 is all."
1038
1039 "It is not."
1040
1041 "If it is not, what have I to do with it?"
1042
1043 "You should have gone away when I asked you," he muttered.
1044
1045 "I stayed when you asked me," was Lord Henry's answer.
1046
1047 "Harry, I can't quarrel with my two best friends at once, but between
1048 you both you have made me hate the finest piece of work I have ever
1049 done, and I will destroy it. What is it but canvas and colour? I will
1050 not let it come across our three lives and mar them."
1051
1052 Dorian Gray lifted his golden head from the pillow, and with pallid
1053 face and tear-stained eyes, looked at him as he walked over to the deal
1054 painting-table that was set beneath the high curtained window. What
1055 was he doing there? His fingers were straying about among the litter
1056 of tin tubes and dry brushes, seeking for something. Yes, it was for
1057 the long palette-knife, with its thin blade of lithe steel. He had
1058 found it at last. He was going to rip up the canvas.
1059
1060 With a stifled sob the lad leaped from the couch, and, rushing over to
1061 Hallward, tore the knife out of his hand, and flung it to the end of
1062 the studio. "Don't, Basil, don't!" he cried. "It would be murder!"
1063
1064 "I am glad you appreciate my work at last, Dorian," said the painter
1065 coldly when he had recovered from his surprise. "I never thought you
1066 would."
1067
1068 "Appreciate it? I am in love with it, Basil. It is part of myself. I
1069 feel that."
1070
1071 "Well, as soon as you are dry, you shall be varnished, and framed, and
1072 sent home. Then you can do what you like with yourself." And he walked
1073 across the room and rang the bell for tea. "You will have tea, of
1074 course, Dorian? And so will you, Harry? Or do you object to such
1075 simple pleasures?"
1076
1077 "I adore simple pleasures," said Lord Henry. "They are the last refuge
1078 of the complex. But I don't like scenes, except on the stage. What
1079 absurd fellows you are, both of you! I wonder who it was defined man
1080 as a rational animal. It was the most premature definition ever given.
1081 Man is many things, but he is not rational. I am glad he is not, after
1082 all--though I wish you chaps would not squabble over the picture. You
1083 had much better let me have it, Basil. This silly boy doesn't really
1084 want it, and I really do."
1085
1086 "If you let any one have it but me, Basil, I shall never forgive you!"
1087 cried Dorian Gray; "and I don't allow people to call me a silly boy."
1088
1089 "You know the picture is yours, Dorian. I gave it to you before it
1090 existed."
1091
1092 "And you know you have been a little silly, Mr. Gray, and that you
1093 don't really object to being reminded that you are extremely young."
1094
1095 "I should have objected very strongly this morning, Lord Henry."
1096
1097 "Ah! this morning! You have lived since then."
1098
1099 There came a knock at the door, and the butler entered with a laden
1100 tea-tray and set it down upon a small Japanese table. There was a
1101 rattle of cups and saucers and the hissing of a fluted Georgian urn.
1102 Two globe-shaped china dishes were brought in by a page. Dorian Gray
1103 went over and poured out the tea. The two men sauntered languidly to
1104 the table and examined what was under the covers.
1105
1106 "Let us go to the theatre to-night," said Lord Henry. "There is sure
1107 to be something on, somewhere. I have promised to dine at White's, but
1108 it is only with an old friend, so I can send him a wire to say that I
1109 am ill, or that I am prevented from coming in consequence of a
1110 subsequent engagement. I think that would be a rather nice excuse: it
1111 would have all the surprise of candour."
1112
1113 "It is such a bore putting on one's dress-clothes," muttered Hallward.
1114 "And, when one has them on, they are so horrid."
1115
1116 "Yes," answered Lord Henry dreamily, "the costume of the nineteenth
1117 century is detestable. It is so sombre, so depressing. Sin is the
1118 only real colour-element left in modern life."
1119
1120 "You really must not say things like that before Dorian, Harry."
1121
1122 "Before which Dorian? The one who is pouring out tea for us, or the
1123 one in the picture?"
1124
1125 "Before either."
1126
1127 "I should like to come to the theatre with you, Lord Henry," said the
1128 lad.
1129
1130 "Then you shall come; and you will come, too, Basil, won't you?"
1131
1132 "I can't, really. I would sooner not. I have a lot of work to do."
1133
1134 "Well, then, you and I will go alone, Mr. Gray."
1135
1136 "I should like that awfully."
1137
1138 The painter bit his lip and walked over, cup in hand, to the picture.
1139 "I shall stay with the real Dorian," he said, sadly.
1140
1141 "Is it the real Dorian?" cried the original of the portrait, strolling
1142 across to him. "Am I really like that?"
1143
1144 "Yes; you are just like that."
1145
1146 "How wonderful, Basil!"
1147
1148 "At least you are like it in appearance. But it will never alter,"
1149 sighed Hallward. "That is something."
1150
1151 "What a fuss people make about fidelity!" exclaimed Lord Henry. "Why,
1152 even in love it is purely a question for physiology. It has nothing to
1153 do with our own will. Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old
1154 men want to be faithless, and cannot: that is all one can say."
1155
1156 "Don't go to the theatre to-night, Dorian," said Hallward. "Stop and
1157 dine with me."
1158
1159 "I can't, Basil."
1160
1161 "Why?"
1162
1163 "Because I have promised Lord Henry Wotton to go with him."
1164
1165 "He won't like you the better for keeping your promises. He always
1166 breaks his own. I beg you not to go."
1167
1168 Dorian Gray laughed and shook his head.
1169
1170 "I entreat you."
1171
1172 The lad hesitated, and looked over at Lord Henry, who was watching them
1173 from the tea-table with an amused smile.
1174
1175 "I must go, Basil," he answered.
1176
1177 "Very well," said Hallward, and he went over and laid down his cup on
1178 the tray. "It is rather late, and, as you have to dress, you had
1179 better lose no time. Good-bye, Harry. Good-bye, Dorian. Come and see
1180 me soon. Come to-morrow."
1181
1182 "Certainly."
1183
1184 "You won't forget?"
1185
1186 "No, of course not," cried Dorian.
1187
1188 "And ... Harry!"
1189
1190 "Yes, Basil?"
1191
1192 "Remember what I asked you, when we were in the garden this morning."
1193
1194 "I have forgotten it."
1195
1196 "I trust you."
1197
1198 "I wish I could trust myself," said Lord Henry, laughing. "Come, Mr.
1199 Gray, my hansom is outside, and I can drop you at your own place.
1200 Good-bye, Basil. It has been a most interesting afternoon."
1201
1202 As the door closed behind them, the painter flung himself down on a
1203 sofa, and a look of pain came into his face.
1204
1205
1206
1207 CHAPTER 3
1208
1209 At half-past twelve next day Lord Henry Wotton strolled from Curzon
1210 Street over to the Albany to call on his uncle, Lord Fermor, a genial
1211 if somewhat rough-mannered old bachelor, whom the outside world called
1212 selfish because it derived no particular benefit from him, but who was
1213 considered generous by Society as he fed the people who amused him.
1214 His father had been our ambassador at Madrid when Isabella was young
1215 and Prim unthought of, but had retired from the diplomatic service in a
1216 capricious moment of annoyance on not being offered the Embassy at
1217 Paris, a post to which he considered that he was fully entitled by
1218 reason of his birth, his indolence, the good English of his dispatches,
1219 and his inordinate passion for pleasure. The son, who had been his
1220 father's secretary, had resigned along with his chief, somewhat
1221 foolishly as was thought at the time, and on succeeding some months
1222 later to the title, had set himself to the serious study of the great
1223 aristocratic art of doing absolutely nothing. He had two large town
1224 houses, but preferred to live in chambers as it was less trouble, and
1225 took most of his meals at his club. He paid some attention to the
1226 management of his collieries in the Midland counties, excusing himself
1227 for this taint of industry on the ground that the one advantage of
1228 having coal was that it enabled a gentleman to afford the decency of
1229 burning wood on his own hearth. In politics he was a Tory, except when
1230 the Tories were in office, during which period he roundly abused them
1231 for being a pack of Radicals. He was a hero to his valet, who bullied
1232 him, and a terror to most of his relations, whom he bullied in turn.
1233 Only England could have produced him, and he always said that the
1234 country was going to the dogs. His principles were out of date, but
1235 there was a good deal to be said for his prejudices.
1236
1237 When Lord Henry entered the room, he found his uncle sitting in a rough
1238 shooting-coat, smoking a cheroot and grumbling over _The Times_. "Well,
1239 Harry," said the old gentleman, "what brings you out so early? I
1240 thought you dandies never got up till two, and were not visible till
1241 five."
1242
1243 "Pure family affection, I assure you, Uncle George. I want to get
1244 something out of you."
1245
1246 "Money, I suppose," said Lord Fermor, making a wry face. "Well, sit
1247 down and tell me all about it. Young people, nowadays, imagine that
1248 money is everything."
1249
1250 "Yes," murmured Lord Henry, settling his button-hole in his coat; "and
1251 when they grow older they know it. But I don't want money. It is only
1252 people who pay their bills who want that, Uncle George, and I never pay
1253 mine. Credit is the capital of a younger son, and one lives charmingly
1254 upon it. Besides, I always deal with Dartmoor's tradesmen, and
1255 consequently they never bother me. What I want is information: not
1256 useful information, of course; useless information."
1257
1258 "Well, I can tell you anything that is in an English Blue Book, Harry,
1259 although those fellows nowadays write a lot of nonsense. When I was in
1260 the Diplomatic, things were much better. But I hear they let them in
1261 now by examination. What can you expect? Examinations, sir, are pure
1262 humbug from beginning to end. If a man is a gentleman, he knows quite
1263 enough, and if he is not a gentleman, whatever he knows is bad for him."
1264
1265 "Mr. Dorian Gray does not belong to Blue Books, Uncle George," said
1266 Lord Henry languidly.
1267
1268 "Mr. Dorian Gray? Who is he?" asked Lord Fermor, knitting his bushy
1269 white eyebrows.
1270
1271 "That is what I have come to learn, Uncle George. Or rather, I know
1272 who he is. He is the last Lord Kelso's grandson. His mother was a
1273 Devereux, Lady Margaret Devereux. I want you to tell me about his
1274 mother. What was she like? Whom did she marry? You have known nearly
1275 everybody in your time, so you might have known her. I am very much
1276 interested in Mr. Gray at present. I have only just met him."
1277
1278 "Kelso's grandson!" echoed the old gentleman. "Kelso's grandson! ...
1279 Of course.... I knew his mother intimately. I believe I was at her
1280 christening. She was an extraordinarily beautiful girl, Margaret
1281 Devereux, and made all the men frantic by running away with a penniless
1282 young fellow--a mere nobody, sir, a subaltern in a foot regiment, or
1283 something of that kind. Certainly. I remember the whole thing as if
1284 it happened yesterday. The poor chap was killed in a duel at Spa a few
1285 months after the marriage. There was an ugly story about it. They
1286 said Kelso got some rascally adventurer, some Belgian brute, to insult
1287 his son-in-law in public--paid him, sir, to do it, paid him--and that
1288 the fellow spitted his man as if he had been a pigeon. The thing was
1289 hushed up, but, egad, Kelso ate his chop alone at the club for some
1290 time afterwards. He brought his daughter back with him, I was told,
1291 and she never spoke to him again. Oh, yes; it was a bad business. The
1292 girl died, too, died within a year. So she left a son, did she? I had
1293 forgotten that. What sort of boy is he? If he is like his mother, he
1294 must be a good-looking chap."
1295
1296 "He is very good-looking," assented Lord Henry.
1297
1298 "I hope he will fall into proper hands," continued the old man. "He
1299 should have a pot of money waiting for him if Kelso did the right thing
1300 by him. His mother had money, too. All the Selby property came to
1301 her, through her grandfather. Her grandfather hated Kelso, thought him
1302 a mean dog. He was, too. Came to Madrid once when I was there. Egad,
1303 I was ashamed of him. The Queen used to ask me about the English noble
1304 who was always quarrelling with the cabmen about their fares. They
1305 made quite a story of it. I didn't dare show my face at Court for a
1306 month. I hope he treated his grandson better than he did the jarvies."
1307
1308 "I don't know," answered Lord Henry. "I fancy that the boy will be
1309 well off. He is not of age yet. He has Selby, I know. He told me so.
1310 And ... his mother was very beautiful?"
1311
1312 "Margaret Devereux was one of the loveliest creatures I ever saw,
1313 Harry. What on earth induced her to behave as she did, I never could
1314 understand. She could have married anybody she chose. Carlington was
1315 mad after her. She was romantic, though. All the women of that family
1316 were. The men were a poor lot, but, egad! the women were wonderful.
1317 Carlington went on his knees to her. Told me so himself. She laughed
1318 at him, and there wasn't a girl in London at the time who wasn't after
1319 him. And by the way, Harry, talking about silly marriages, what is
1320 this humbug your father tells me about Dartmoor wanting to marry an
1321 American? Ain't English girls good enough for him?"
1322
1323 "It is rather fashionable to marry Americans just now, Uncle George."
1324
1325 "I'll back English women against the world, Harry," said Lord Fermor,
1326 striking the table with his fist.
1327
1328 "The betting is on the Americans."
1329
1330 "They don't last, I am told," muttered his uncle.
1331
1332 "A long engagement exhausts them, but they are capital at a
1333 steeplechase. They take things flying. I don't think Dartmoor has a
1334 chance."
1335
1336 "Who are her people?" grumbled the old gentleman. "Has she got any?"
1337
1338 Lord Henry shook his head. "American girls are as clever at concealing
1339 their parents, as English women are at concealing their past," he said,
1340 rising to go.
1341
1342 "They are pork-packers, I suppose?"
1343
1344 "I hope so, Uncle George, for Dartmoor's sake. I am told that
1345 pork-packing is the most lucrative profession in America, after
1346 politics."
1347
1348 "Is she pretty?"
1349
1350 "She behaves as if she was beautiful. Most American women do. It is
1351 the secret of their charm."
1352
1353 "Why can't these American women stay in their own country? They are
1354 always telling us that it is the paradise for women."
1355
1356 "It is. That is the reason why, like Eve, they are so excessively
1357 anxious to get out of it," said Lord Henry. "Good-bye, Uncle George.
1358 I shall be late for lunch, if I stop any longer. Thanks for giving me
1359 the information I wanted. I always like to know everything about my
1360 new friends, and nothing about my old ones."
1361
1362 "Where are you lunching, Harry?"
1363
1364 "At Aunt Agatha's. I have asked myself and Mr. Gray. He is her latest
1365 _protege_."
1366
1367 "Humph! tell your Aunt Agatha, Harry, not to bother me any more with
1368 her charity appeals. I am sick of them. Why, the good woman thinks
1369 that I have nothing to do but to write cheques for her silly fads."
1370
1371 "All right, Uncle George, I'll tell her, but it won't have any effect.
1372 Philanthropic people lose all sense of humanity. It is their
1373 distinguishing characteristic."
1374
1375 The old gentleman growled approvingly and rang the bell for his
1376 servant. Lord Henry passed up the low arcade into Burlington Street
1377 and turned his steps in the direction of Berkeley Square.
1378
1379 So that was the story of Dorian Gray's parentage. Crudely as it had
1380 been told to him, it had yet stirred him by its suggestion of a
1381 strange, almost modern romance. A beautiful woman risking everything
1382 for a mad passion. A few wild weeks of happiness cut short by a
1383 hideous, treacherous crime. Months of voiceless agony, and then a
1384 child born in pain. The mother snatched away by death, the boy left to
1385 solitude and the tyranny of an old and loveless man. Yes; it was an
1386 interesting background. It posed the lad, made him more perfect, as it
1387 were. Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something
1388 tragic. Worlds had to be in travail, that the meanest flower might
1389 blow.... And how charming he had been at dinner the night before, as
1390 with startled eyes and lips parted in frightened pleasure he had sat
1391 opposite to him at the club, the red candleshades staining to a richer
1392 rose the wakening wonder of his face. Talking to him was like playing
1393 upon an exquisite violin. He answered to every touch and thrill of the
1394 bow.... There was something terribly enthralling in the exercise of
1395 influence. No other activity was like it. To project one's soul into
1396 some gracious form, and let it tarry there for a moment; to hear one's
1397 own intellectual views echoed back to one with all the added music of
1398 passion and youth; to convey one's temperament into another as though
1399 it were a subtle fluid or a strange perfume: there was a real joy in
1400 that--perhaps the most satisfying joy left to us in an age so limited
1401 and vulgar as our own, an age grossly carnal in its pleasures, and
1402 grossly common in its aims.... He was a marvellous type, too, this lad,
1403 whom by so curious a chance he had met in Basil's studio, or could be
1404 fashioned into a marvellous type, at any rate. Grace was his, and the
1405 white purity of boyhood, and beauty such as old Greek marbles kept for
1406 us. There was nothing that one could not do with him. He could be
1407 made a Titan or a toy. What a pity it was that such beauty was
1408 destined to fade! ... And Basil? From a psychological point of view,
1409 how interesting he was! The new manner in art, the fresh mode of
1410 looking at life, suggested so strangely by the merely visible presence
1411 of one who was unconscious of it all; the silent spirit that dwelt in
1412 dim woodland, and walked unseen in open field, suddenly showing
1413 herself, Dryadlike and not afraid, because in his soul who sought for
1414 her there had been wakened that wonderful vision to which alone are
1415 wonderful things revealed; the mere shapes and patterns of things
1416 becoming, as it were, refined, and gaining a kind of symbolical value,
1417 as though they were themselves patterns of some other and more perfect
1418 form whose shadow they made real: how strange it all was! He
1419 remembered something like it in history. Was it not Plato, that artist
1420 in thought, who had first analyzed it? Was it not Buonarotti who had
1421 carved it in the coloured marbles of a sonnet-sequence? But in our own
1422 century it was strange.... Yes; he would try to be to Dorian Gray
1423 what, without knowing it, the lad was to the painter who had fashioned
1424 the wonderful portrait. He would seek to dominate him--had already,
1425 indeed, half done so. He would make that wonderful spirit his own.
1426 There was something fascinating in this son of love and death.
1427
1428 Suddenly he stopped and glanced up at the houses. He found that he had
1429 passed his aunt's some distance, and, smiling to himself, turned back.
1430 When he entered the somewhat sombre hall, the butler told him that they
1431 had gone in to lunch. He gave one of the footmen his hat and stick and
1432 passed into the dining-room.
1433
1434 "Late as usual, Harry," cried his aunt, shaking her head at him.
1435
1436 He invented a facile excuse, and having taken the vacant seat next to
1437 her, looked round to see who was there. Dorian bowed to him shyly from
1438 the end of the table, a flush of pleasure stealing into his cheek.
1439 Opposite was the Duchess of Harley, a lady of admirable good-nature and
1440 good temper, much liked by every one who knew her, and of those ample
1441 architectural proportions that in women who are not duchesses are
1442 described by contemporary historians as stoutness. Next to her sat, on
1443 her right, Sir Thomas Burdon, a Radical member of Parliament, who
1444 followed his leader in public life and in private life followed the
1445 best cooks, dining with the Tories and thinking with the Liberals, in
1446 accordance with a wise and well-known rule. The post on her left was
1447 occupied by Mr. Erskine of Treadley, an old gentleman of considerable
1448 charm and culture, who had fallen, however, into bad habits of silence,
1449 having, as he explained once to Lady Agatha, said everything that he
1450 had to say before he was thirty. His own neighbour was Mrs. Vandeleur,
1451 one of his aunt's oldest friends, a perfect saint amongst women, but so
1452 dreadfully dowdy that she reminded one of a badly bound hymn-book.
1453 Fortunately for him she had on the other side Lord Faudel, a most
1454 intelligent middle-aged mediocrity, as bald as a ministerial statement
1455 in the House of Commons, with whom she was conversing in that intensely
1456 earnest manner which is the one unpardonable error, as he remarked once
1457 himself, that all really good people fall into, and from which none of
1458 them ever quite escape.
1459
1460 "We are talking about poor Dartmoor, Lord Henry," cried the duchess,
1461 nodding pleasantly to him across the table. "Do you think he will
1462 really marry this fascinating young person?"
1463
1464 "I believe she has made up her mind to propose to him, Duchess."
1465
1466 "How dreadful!" exclaimed Lady Agatha. "Really, some one should
1467 interfere."
1468
1469 "I am told, on excellent authority, that her father keeps an American
1470 dry-goods store," said Sir Thomas Burdon, looking supercilious.
1471
1472 "My uncle has already suggested pork-packing, Sir Thomas."
1473
1474 "Dry-goods! What are American dry-goods?" asked the duchess, raising
1475 her large hands in wonder and accentuating the verb.
1476
1477 "American novels," answered Lord Henry, helping himself to some quail.
1478
1479 The duchess looked puzzled.
1480
1481 "Don't mind him, my dear," whispered Lady Agatha. "He never means
1482 anything that he says."
1483
1484 "When America was discovered," said the Radical member--and he began to
1485 give some wearisome facts. Like all people who try to exhaust a
1486 subject, he exhausted his listeners. The duchess sighed and exercised
1487 her privilege of interruption. "I wish to goodness it never had been
1488 discovered at all!" she exclaimed. "Really, our girls have no chance
1489 nowadays. It is most unfair."
1490
1491 "Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered," said Mr.
1492 Erskine; "I myself would say that it had merely been detected."
1493
1494 "Oh! but I have seen specimens of the inhabitants," answered the
1495 duchess vaguely. "I must confess that most of them are extremely
1496 pretty. And they dress well, too. They get all their dresses in
1497 Paris. I wish I could afford to do the same."
1498
1499 "They say that when good Americans die they go to Paris," chuckled Sir
1500 Thomas, who had a large wardrobe of Humour's cast-off clothes.
1501
1502 "Really! And where do bad Americans go to when they die?" inquired the
1503 duchess.
1504
1505 "They go to America," murmured Lord Henry.
1506
1507 Sir Thomas frowned. "I am afraid that your nephew is prejudiced
1508 against that great country," he said to Lady Agatha. "I have travelled
1509 all over it in cars provided by the directors, who, in such matters,
1510 are extremely civil. I assure you that it is an education to visit it."
1511
1512 "But must we really see Chicago in order to be educated?" asked Mr.
1513 Erskine plaintively. "I don't feel up to the journey."
1514
1515 Sir Thomas waved his hand. "Mr. Erskine of Treadley has the world on
1516 his shelves. We practical men like to see things, not to read about
1517 them. The Americans are an extremely interesting people. They are
1518 absolutely reasonable. I think that is their distinguishing
1519 characteristic. Yes, Mr. Erskine, an absolutely reasonable people. I
1520 assure you there is no nonsense about the Americans."
1521
1522 "How dreadful!" cried Lord Henry. "I can stand brute force, but brute
1523 reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use.
1524 It is hitting below the intellect."
1525
1526 "I do not understand you," said Sir Thomas, growing rather red.
1527
1528 "I do, Lord Henry," murmured Mr. Erskine, with a smile.
1529
1530 "Paradoxes are all very well in their way...." rejoined the baronet.
1531
1532 "Was that a paradox?" asked Mr. Erskine. "I did not think so. Perhaps
1533 it was. Well, the way of paradoxes is the way of truth. To test
1534 reality we must see it on the tight rope. When the verities become
1535 acrobats, we can judge them."
1536
1537 "Dear me!" said Lady Agatha, "how you men argue! I am sure I never can
1538 make out what you are talking about. Oh! Harry, I am quite vexed with
1539 you. Why do you try to persuade our nice Mr. Dorian Gray to give up
1540 the East End? I assure you he would be quite invaluable. They would
1541 love his playing."
1542
1543 "I want him to play to me," cried Lord Henry, smiling, and he looked
1544 down the table and caught a bright answering glance.
1545
1546 "But they are so unhappy in Whitechapel," continued Lady Agatha.
1547
1548 "I can sympathize with everything except suffering," said Lord Henry,
1549 shrugging his shoulders. "I cannot sympathize with that. It is too
1550 ugly, too horrible, too distressing. There is something terribly
1551 morbid in the modern sympathy with pain. One should sympathize with
1552 the colour, the beauty, the joy of life. The less said about life's
1553 sores, the better."
1554
1555 "Still, the East End is a very important problem," remarked Sir Thomas
1556 with a grave shake of the head.
1557
1558 "Quite so," answered the young lord. "It is the problem of slavery,
1559 and we try to solve it by amusing the slaves."
1560
1561 The politician looked at him keenly. "What change do you propose,
1562 then?" he asked.
1563
1564 Lord Henry laughed. "I don't desire to change anything in England
1565 except the weather," he answered. "I am quite content with philosophic
1566 contemplation. But, as the nineteenth century has gone bankrupt
1567 through an over-expenditure of sympathy, I would suggest that we should
1568 appeal to science to put us straight. The advantage of the emotions is
1569 that they lead us astray, and the advantage of science is that it is
1570 not emotional."
1571
1572 "But we have such grave responsibilities," ventured Mrs. Vandeleur
1573 timidly.
1574
1575 "Terribly grave," echoed Lady Agatha.
1576
1577 Lord Henry looked over at Mr. Erskine. "Humanity takes itself too
1578 seriously. It is the world's original sin. If the caveman had known
1579 how to laugh, history would have been different."
1580
1581 "You are really very comforting," warbled the duchess. "I have always
1582 felt rather guilty when I came to see your dear aunt, for I take no
1583 interest at all in the East End. For the future I shall be able to
1584 look her in the face without a blush."
1585
1586 "A blush is very becoming, Duchess," remarked Lord Henry.
1587
1588 "Only when one is young," she answered. "When an old woman like myself
1589 blushes, it is a very bad sign. Ah! Lord Henry, I wish you would tell
1590 me how to become young again."
1591
1592 He thought for a moment. "Can you remember any great error that you
1593 committed in your early days, Duchess?" he asked, looking at her across
1594 the table.
1595
1596 "A great many, I fear," she cried.
1597
1598 "Then commit them over again," he said gravely. "To get back one's
1599 youth, one has merely to repeat one's follies."
1600
1601 "A delightful theory!" she exclaimed. "I must put it into practice."
1602
1603 "A dangerous theory!" came from Sir Thomas's tight lips. Lady Agatha
1604 shook her head, but could not help being amused. Mr. Erskine listened.
1605
1606 "Yes," he continued, "that is one of the great secrets of life.
1607 Nowadays most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and
1608 discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are
1609 one's mistakes."
1610
1611 A laugh ran round the table.
1612
1613 He played with the idea and grew wilful; tossed it into the air and
1614 transformed it; let it escape and recaptured it; made it iridescent
1615 with fancy and winged it with paradox. The praise of folly, as he went
1616 on, soared into a philosophy, and philosophy herself became young, and
1617 catching the mad music of pleasure, wearing, one might fancy, her
1618 wine-stained robe and wreath of ivy, danced like a Bacchante over the
1619 hills of life, and mocked the slow Silenus for being sober. Facts fled
1620 before her like frightened forest things. Her white feet trod the huge
1621 press at which wise Omar sits, till the seething grape-juice rose round
1622 her bare limbs in waves of purple bubbles, or crawled in red foam over
1623 the vat's black, dripping, sloping sides. It was an extraordinary
1624 improvisation. He felt that the eyes of Dorian Gray were fixed on him,
1625 and the consciousness that amongst his audience there was one whose
1626 temperament he wished to fascinate seemed to give his wit keenness and
1627 to lend colour to his imagination. He was brilliant, fantastic,
1628 irresponsible. He charmed his listeners out of themselves, and they
1629 followed his pipe, laughing. Dorian Gray never took his gaze off him,
1630 but sat like one under a spell, smiles chasing each other over his lips
1631 and wonder growing grave in his darkening eyes.
1632
1633 At last, liveried in the costume of the age, reality entered the room
1634 in the shape of a servant to tell the duchess that her carriage was
1635 waiting. She wrung her hands in mock despair. "How annoying!" she
1636 cried. "I must go. I have to call for my husband at the club, to take
1637 him to some absurd meeting at Willis's Rooms, where he is going to be
1638 in the chair. If I am late he is sure to be furious, and I couldn't
1639 have a scene in this bonnet. It is far too fragile. A harsh word
1640 would ruin it. No, I must go, dear Agatha. Good-bye, Lord Henry, you
1641 are quite delightful and dreadfully demoralizing. I am sure I don't
1642 know what to say about your views. You must come and dine with us some
1643 night. Tuesday? Are you disengaged Tuesday?"
1644
1645 "For you I would throw over anybody, Duchess," said Lord Henry with a
1646 bow.
1647
1648 "Ah! that is very nice, and very wrong of you," she cried; "so mind you
1649 come"; and she swept out of the room, followed by Lady Agatha and the
1650 other ladies.
1651
1652 When Lord Henry had sat down again, Mr. Erskine moved round, and taking
1653 a chair close to him, placed his hand upon his arm.
1654
1655 "You talk books away," he said; "why don't you write one?"
1656
1657 "I am too fond of reading books to care to write them, Mr. Erskine. I
1658 should like to write a novel certainly, a novel that would be as lovely
1659 as a Persian carpet and as unreal. But there is no literary public in
1660 England for anything except newspapers, primers, and encyclopaedias.
1661 Of all people in the world the English have the least sense of the
1662 beauty of literature."
1663
1664 "I fear you are right," answered Mr. Erskine. "I myself used to have
1665 literary ambitions, but I gave them up long ago. And now, my dear
1666 young friend, if you will allow me to call you so, may I ask if you
1667 really meant all that you said to us at lunch?"
1668
1669 "I quite forget what I said," smiled Lord Henry. "Was it all very bad?"
1670
1671 "Very bad indeed. In fact I consider you extremely dangerous, and if
1672 anything happens to our good duchess, we shall all look on you as being
1673 primarily responsible. But I should like to talk to you about life.
1674 The generation into which I was born was tedious. Some day, when you
1675 are tired of London, come down to Treadley and expound to me your
1676 philosophy of pleasure over some admirable Burgundy I am fortunate
1677 enough to possess."
1678
1679 "I shall be charmed. A visit to Treadley would be a great privilege.
1680 It has a perfect host, and a perfect library."
1681
1682 "You will complete it," answered the old gentleman with a courteous
1683 bow. "And now I must bid good-bye to your excellent aunt. I am due at
1684 the Athenaeum. It is the hour when we sleep there."
1685
1686 "All of you, Mr. Erskine?"
1687
1688 "Forty of us, in forty arm-chairs. We are practising for an English
1689 Academy of Letters."
1690
1691 Lord Henry laughed and rose. "I am going to the park," he cried.
1692
1693 As he was passing out of the door, Dorian Gray touched him on the arm.
1694 "Let me come with you," he murmured.
1695
1696 "But I thought you had promised Basil Hallward to go and see him,"
1697 answered Lord Henry.
1698
1699 "I would sooner come with you; yes, I feel I must come with you. Do
1700 let me. And you will promise to talk to me all the time? No one talks
1701 so wonderfully as you do."
1702
1703 "Ah! I have talked quite enough for to-day," said Lord Henry, smiling.
1704 "All I want now is to look at life. You may come and look at it with
1705 me, if you care to."
1706
1707
1708
1709 CHAPTER 4
1710
1711 One afternoon, a month later, Dorian Gray was reclining in a luxurious
1712 arm-chair, in the little library of Lord Henry's house in Mayfair. It
1713 was, in its way, a very charming room, with its high panelled
1714 wainscoting of olive-stained oak, its cream-coloured frieze and ceiling
1715 of raised plasterwork, and its brickdust felt carpet strewn with silk,
1716 long-fringed Persian rugs. On a tiny satinwood table stood a statuette
1717 by Clodion, and beside it lay a copy of Les Cent Nouvelles, bound for
1718 Margaret of Valois by Clovis Eve and powdered with the gilt daisies
1719 that Queen had selected for her device. Some large blue china jars and
1720 parrot-tulips were ranged on the mantelshelf, and through the small
1721 leaded panes of the window streamed the apricot-coloured light of a
1722 summer day in London.
1723
1724 Lord Henry had not yet come in. He was always late on principle, his
1725 principle being that punctuality is the thief of time. So the lad was
1726 looking rather sulky, as with listless fingers he turned over the pages
1727 of an elaborately illustrated edition of Manon Lescaut that he had
1728 found in one of the book-cases. The formal monotonous ticking of the
1729 Louis Quatorze clock annoyed him. Once or twice he thought of going
1730 away.
1731
1732 At last he heard a step outside, and the door opened. "How late you
1733 are, Harry!" he murmured.
1734
1735 "I am afraid it is not Harry, Mr. Gray," answered a shrill voice.
1736
1737 He glanced quickly round and rose to his feet. "I beg your pardon. I
1738 thought--"
1739
1740 "You thought it was my husband. It is only his wife. You must let me
1741 introduce myself. I know you quite well by your photographs. I think
1742 my husband has got seventeen of them."
1743
1744 "Not seventeen, Lady Henry?"
1745
1746 "Well, eighteen, then. And I saw you with him the other night at the
1747 opera." She laughed nervously as she spoke, and watched him with her
1748 vague forget-me-not eyes. She was a curious woman, whose dresses
1749 always looked as if they had been designed in a rage and put on in a
1750 tempest. She was usually in love with somebody, and, as her passion
1751 was never returned, she had kept all her illusions. She tried to look
1752 picturesque, but only succeeded in being untidy. Her name was
1753 Victoria, and she had a perfect mania for going to church.
1754
1755 "That was at Lohengrin, Lady Henry, I think?"
1756
1757 "Yes; it was at dear Lohengrin. I like Wagner's music better than
1758 anybody's. It is so loud that one can talk the whole time without other
1759 people hearing what one says. That is a great advantage, don't you
1760 think so, Mr. Gray?"
1761
1762 The same nervous staccato laugh broke from her thin lips, and her
1763 fingers began to play with a long tortoise-shell paper-knife.
1764
1765 Dorian smiled and shook his head: "I am afraid I don't think so, Lady
1766 Henry. I never talk during music--at least, during good music. If one
1767 hears bad music, it is one's duty to drown it in conversation."
1768
1769 "Ah! that is one of Harry's views, isn't it, Mr. Gray? I always hear
1770 Harry's views from his friends. It is the only way I get to know of
1771 them. But you must not think I don't like good music. I adore it, but
1772 I am afraid of it. It makes me too romantic. I have simply worshipped
1773 pianists--two at a time, sometimes, Harry tells me. I don't know what
1774 it is about them. Perhaps it is that they are foreigners. They all
1775 are, ain't they? Even those that are born in England become foreigners
1776 after a time, don't they? It is so clever of them, and such a
1777 compliment to art. Makes it quite cosmopolitan, doesn't it? You have
1778 never been to any of my parties, have you, Mr. Gray? You must come. I
1779 can't afford orchids, but I spare no expense in foreigners. They make
1780 one's rooms look so picturesque. But here is Harry! Harry, I came in
1781 to look for you, to ask you something--I forget what it was--and I
1782 found Mr. Gray here. We have had such a pleasant chat about music. We
1783 have quite the same ideas. No; I think our ideas are quite different.
1784 But he has been most pleasant. I am so glad I've seen him."
1785
1786 "I am charmed, my love, quite charmed," said Lord Henry, elevating his
1787 dark, crescent-shaped eyebrows and looking at them both with an amused
1788 smile. "So sorry I am late, Dorian. I went to look after a piece of
1789 old brocade in Wardour Street and had to bargain for hours for it.
1790 Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing."
1791
1792 "I am afraid I must be going," exclaimed Lady Henry, breaking an
1793 awkward silence with her silly sudden laugh. "I have promised to drive
1794 with the duchess. Good-bye, Mr. Gray. Good-bye, Harry. You are
1795 dining out, I suppose? So am I. Perhaps I shall see you at Lady
1796 Thornbury's."
1797
1798 "I dare say, my dear," said Lord Henry, shutting the door behind her
1799 as, looking like a bird of paradise that had been out all night in the
1800 rain, she flitted out of the room, leaving a faint odour of
1801 frangipanni. Then he lit a cigarette and flung himself down on the
1802 sofa.
1803
1804 "Never marry a woman with straw-coloured hair, Dorian," he said after a
1805 few puffs.
1806
1807 "Why, Harry?"
1808
1809 "Because they are so sentimental."
1810
1811 "But I like sentimental people."
1812
1813 "Never marry at all, Dorian. Men marry because they are tired; women,
1814 because they are curious: both are disappointed."
1815
1816 "I don't think I am likely to marry, Harry. I am too much in love.
1817 That is one of your aphorisms. I am putting it into practice, as I do
1818 everything that you say."
1819
1820 "Who are you in love with?" asked Lord Henry after a pause.
1821
1822 "With an actress," said Dorian Gray, blushing.
1823
1824 Lord Henry shrugged his shoulders. "That is a rather commonplace
1825 _debut_."
1826
1827 "You would not say so if you saw her, Harry."
1828
1829 "Who is she?"
1830
1831 "Her name is Sibyl Vane."
1832
1833 "Never heard of her."
1834
1835 "No one has. People will some day, however. She is a genius."
1836
1837 "My dear boy, no woman is a genius. Women are a decorative sex. They
1838 never have anything to say, but they say it charmingly. Women
1839 represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the
1840 triumph of mind over morals."
1841
1842 "Harry, how can you?"
1843
1844 "My dear Dorian, it is quite true. I am analysing women at present, so
1845 I ought to know. The subject is not so abstruse as I thought it was.
1846 I find that, ultimately, there are only two kinds of women, the plain
1847 and the coloured. The plain women are very useful. If you want to
1848 gain a reputation for respectability, you have merely to take them down
1849 to supper. The other women are very charming. They commit one
1850 mistake, however. They paint in order to try and look young. Our
1851 grandmothers painted in order to try and talk brilliantly. _Rouge_ and
1852 _esprit_ used to go together. That is all over now. As long as a woman
1853 can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly
1854 satisfied. As for conversation, there are only five women in London
1855 worth talking to, and two of these can't be admitted into decent
1856 society. However, tell me about your genius. How long have you known
1857 her?"
1858
1859 "Ah! Harry, your views terrify me."
1860
1861 "Never mind that. How long have you known her?"
1862
1863 "About three weeks."
1864
1865 "And where did you come across her?"
1866
1867 "I will tell you, Harry, but you mustn't be unsympathetic about it.
1868 After all, it never would have happened if I had not met you. You
1869 filled me with a wild desire to know everything about life. For days
1870 after I met you, something seemed to throb in my veins. As I lounged
1871 in the park, or strolled down Piccadilly, I used to look at every one
1872 who passed me and wonder, with a mad curiosity, what sort of lives they
1873 led. Some of them fascinated me. Others filled me with terror. There
1874 was an exquisite poison in the air. I had a passion for sensations....
1875 Well, one evening about seven o'clock, I determined to go out in search
1876 of some adventure. I felt that this grey monstrous London of ours,
1877 with its myriads of people, its sordid sinners, and its splendid sins,
1878 as you once phrased it, must have something in store for me. I fancied
1879 a thousand things. The mere danger gave me a sense of delight. I
1880 remembered what you had said to me on that wonderful evening when we
1881 first dined together, about the search for beauty being the real secret
1882 of life. I don't know what I expected, but I went out and wandered
1883 eastward, soon losing my way in a labyrinth of grimy streets and black
1884 grassless squares. About half-past eight I passed by an absurd little
1885 theatre, with great flaring gas-jets and gaudy play-bills. A hideous
1886 Jew, in the most amazing waistcoat I ever beheld in my life, was
1887 standing at the entrance, smoking a vile cigar. He had greasy
1888 ringlets, and an enormous diamond blazed in the centre of a soiled
1889 shirt. 'Have a box, my Lord?' he said, when he saw me, and he took off
1890 his hat with an air of gorgeous servility. There was something about
1891 him, Harry, that amused me. He was such a monster. You will laugh at
1892 me, I know, but I really went in and paid a whole guinea for the
1893 stage-box. To the present day I can't make out why I did so; and yet if
1894 I hadn't--my dear Harry, if I hadn't--I should have missed the greatest
1895 romance of my life. I see you are laughing. It is horrid of you!"
1896
1897 "I am not laughing, Dorian; at least I am not laughing at you. But you
1898 should not say the greatest romance of your life. You should say the
1899 first romance of your life. You will always be loved, and you will
1900 always be in love with love. A _grande passion_ is the privilege of
1901 people who have nothing to do. That is the one use of the idle classes
1902 of a country. Don't be afraid. There are exquisite things in store
1903 for you. This is merely the beginning."
1904
1905 "Do you think my nature so shallow?" cried Dorian Gray angrily.
1906
1907 "No; I think your nature so deep."
1908
1909 "How do you mean?"
1910
1911 "My dear boy, the people who love only once in their lives are really
1912 the shallow people. What they call their loyalty, and their fidelity,
1913 I call either the lethargy of custom or their lack of imagination.
1914 Faithfulness is to the emotional life what consistency is to the life
1915 of the intellect--simply a confession of failure. Faithfulness! I
1916 must analyse it some day. The passion for property is in it. There
1917 are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that
1918 others might pick them up. But I don't want to interrupt you. Go on
1919 with your story."
1920
1921 "Well, I found myself seated in a horrid little private box, with a
1922 vulgar drop-scene staring me in the face. I looked out from behind the
1923 curtain and surveyed the house. It was a tawdry affair, all Cupids and
1924 cornucopias, like a third-rate wedding-cake. The gallery and pit were
1925 fairly full, but the two rows of dingy stalls were quite empty, and
1926 there was hardly a person in what I suppose they called the
1927 dress-circle. Women went about with oranges and ginger-beer, and there
1928 was a terrible consumption of nuts going on."
1929
1930 "It must have been just like the palmy days of the British drama."
1931
1932 "Just like, I should fancy, and very depressing. I began to wonder
1933 what on earth I should do when I caught sight of the play-bill. What
1934 do you think the play was, Harry?"
1935
1936 "I should think 'The Idiot Boy', or 'Dumb but Innocent'. Our fathers
1937 used to like that sort of piece, I believe. The longer I live, Dorian,
1938 the more keenly I feel that whatever was good enough for our fathers is
1939 not good enough for us. In art, as in politics, _les grandperes ont
1940 toujours tort_."
1941
1942 "This play was good enough for us, Harry. It was Romeo and Juliet. I
1943 must admit that I was rather annoyed at the idea of seeing Shakespeare
1944 done in such a wretched hole of a place. Still, I felt interested, in
1945 a sort of way. At any rate, I determined to wait for the first act.
1946 There was a dreadful orchestra, presided over by a young Hebrew who sat
1947 at a cracked piano, that nearly drove me away, but at last the
1948 drop-scene was drawn up and the play began. Romeo was a stout elderly
1949 gentleman, with corked eyebrows, a husky tragedy voice, and a figure
1950 like a beer-barrel. Mercutio was almost as bad. He was played by the
1951 low-comedian, who had introduced gags of his own and was on most
1952 friendly terms with the pit. They were both as grotesque as the
1953 scenery, and that looked as if it had come out of a country-booth. But
1954 Juliet! Harry, imagine a girl, hardly seventeen years of age, with a
1955 little, flowerlike face, a small Greek head with plaited coils of
1956 dark-brown hair, eyes that were violet wells of passion, lips that were
1957 like the petals of a rose. She was the loveliest thing I had ever seen
1958 in my life. You said to me once that pathos left you unmoved, but that
1959 beauty, mere beauty, could fill your eyes with tears. I tell you,
1960 Harry, I could hardly see this girl for the mist of tears that came
1961 across me. And her voice--I never heard such a voice. It was very low
1962 at first, with deep mellow notes that seemed to fall singly upon one's
1963 ear. Then it became a little louder, and sounded like a flute or a
1964 distant hautboy. In the garden-scene it had all the tremulous ecstasy
1965 that one hears just before dawn when nightingales are singing. There
1966 were moments, later on, when it had the wild passion of violins. You
1967 know how a voice can stir one. Your voice and the voice of Sibyl Vane
1968 are two things that I shall never forget. When I close my eyes, I hear
1969 them, and each of them says something different. I don't know which to
1970 follow. Why should I not love her? Harry, I do love her. She is
1971 everything to me in life. Night after night I go to see her play. One
1972 evening she is Rosalind, and the next evening she is Imogen. I have
1973 seen her die in the gloom of an Italian tomb, sucking the poison from
1974 her lover's lips. I have watched her wandering through the forest of
1975 Arden, disguised as a pretty boy in hose and doublet and dainty cap.
1976 She has been mad, and has come into the presence of a guilty king, and
1977 given him rue to wear and bitter herbs to taste of. She has been
1978 innocent, and the black hands of jealousy have crushed her reedlike
1979 throat. I have seen her in every age and in every costume. Ordinary
1980 women never appeal to one's imagination. They are limited to their
1981 century. No glamour ever transfigures them. One knows their minds as
1982 easily as one knows their bonnets. One can always find them. There is
1983 no mystery in any of them. They ride in the park in the morning and
1984 chatter at tea-parties in the afternoon. They have their stereotyped
1985 smile and their fashionable manner. They are quite obvious. But an
1986 actress! How different an actress is! Harry! why didn't you tell me
1987 that the only thing worth loving is an actress?"
1988
1989 "Because I have loved so many of them, Dorian."
1990
1991 "Oh, yes, horrid people with dyed hair and painted faces."
1992
1993 "Don't run down dyed hair and painted faces. There is an extraordinary
1994 charm in them, sometimes," said Lord Henry.
1995
1996 "I wish now I had not told you about Sibyl Vane."
1997
1998 "You could not have helped telling me, Dorian. All through your life
1999 you will tell me everything you do."
2000
2001 "Yes, Harry, I believe that is true. I cannot help telling you things.
2002 You have a curious influence over me. If I ever did a crime, I would
2003 come and confess it to you. You would understand me."
2004
2005 "People like you--the wilful sunbeams of life--don't commit crimes,
2006 Dorian. But I am much obliged for the compliment, all the same. And
2007 now tell me--reach me the matches, like a good boy--thanks--what are
2008 your actual relations with Sibyl Vane?"
2009
2010 Dorian Gray leaped to his feet, with flushed cheeks and burning eyes.
2011 "Harry! Sibyl Vane is sacred!"
2012
2013 "It is only the sacred things that are worth touching, Dorian," said
2014 Lord Henry, with a strange touch of pathos in his voice. "But why
2015 should you be annoyed? I suppose she will belong to you some day.
2016 When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving one's self, and one
2017 always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a
2018 romance. You know her, at any rate, I suppose?"
2019
2020 "Of course I know her. On the first night I was at the theatre, the
2021 horrid old Jew came round to the box after the performance was over and
2022 offered to take me behind the scenes and introduce me to her. I was
2023 furious with him, and told him that Juliet had been dead for hundreds
2024 of years and that her body was lying in a marble tomb in Verona. I
2025 think, from his blank look of amazement, that he was under the
2026 impression that I had taken too much champagne, or something."
2027
2028 "I am not surprised."
2029
2030 "Then he asked me if I wrote for any of the newspapers. I told him I
2031 never even read them. He seemed terribly disappointed at that, and
2032 confided to me that all the dramatic critics were in a conspiracy
2033 against him, and that they were every one of them to be bought."
2034
2035 "I should not wonder if he was quite right there. But, on the other
2036 hand, judging from their appearance, most of them cannot be at all
2037 expensive."
2038
2039 "Well, he seemed to think they were beyond his means," laughed Dorian.
2040 "By this time, however, the lights were being put out in the theatre,
2041 and I had to go. He wanted me to try some cigars that he strongly
2042 recommended. I declined. The next night, of course, I arrived at the
2043 place again. When he saw me, he made me a low bow and assured me that
2044 I was a munificent patron of art. He was a most offensive brute,
2045 though he had an extraordinary passion for Shakespeare. He told me
2046 once, with an air of pride, that his five bankruptcies were entirely
2047 due to 'The Bard,' as he insisted on calling him. He seemed to think
2048 it a distinction."
2049
2050 "It was a distinction, my dear Dorian--a great distinction. Most
2051 people become bankrupt through having invested too heavily in the prose
2052 of life. To have ruined one's self over poetry is an honour. But when
2053 did you first speak to Miss Sibyl Vane?"
2054
2055 "The third night. She had been playing Rosalind. I could not help
2056 going round. I had thrown her some flowers, and she had looked at
2057 me--at least I fancied that she had. The old Jew was persistent. He
2058 seemed determined to take me behind, so I consented. It was curious my
2059 not wanting to know her, wasn't it?"
2060
2061 "No; I don't think so."
2062
2063 "My dear Harry, why?"
2064
2065 "I will tell you some other time. Now I want to know about the girl."
2066
2067 "Sibyl? Oh, she was so shy and so gentle. There is something of a
2068 child about her. Her eyes opened wide in exquisite wonder when I told
2069 her what I thought of her performance, and she seemed quite unconscious
2070 of her power. I think we were both rather nervous. The old Jew stood
2071 grinning at the doorway of the dusty greenroom, making elaborate
2072 speeches about us both, while we stood looking at each other like
2073 children. He would insist on calling me 'My Lord,' so I had to assure
2074 Sibyl that I was not anything of the kind. She said quite simply to
2075 me, 'You look more like a prince. I must call you Prince Charming.'"
2076
2077 "Upon my word, Dorian, Miss Sibyl knows how to pay compliments."
2078
2079 "You don't understand her, Harry. She regarded me merely as a person
2080 in a play. She knows nothing of life. She lives with her mother, a
2081 faded tired woman who played Lady Capulet in a sort of magenta
2082 dressing-wrapper on the first night, and looks as if she had seen
2083 better days."
2084
2085 "I know that look. It depresses me," murmured Lord Henry, examining
2086 his rings.
2087
2088 "The Jew wanted to tell me her history, but I said it did not interest
2089 me."
2090
2091 "You were quite right. There is always something infinitely mean about
2092 other people's tragedies."
2093
2094 "Sibyl is the only thing I care about. What is it to me where she came
2095 from? From her little head to her little feet, she is absolutely and
2096 entirely divine. Every night of my life I go to see her act, and every
2097 night she is more marvellous."
2098
2099 "That is the reason, I suppose, that you never dine with me now. I
2100 thought you must have some curious romance on hand. You have; but it
2101 is not quite what I expected."
2102
2103 "My dear Harry, we either lunch or sup together every day, and I have
2104 been to the opera with you several times," said Dorian, opening his
2105 blue eyes in wonder.
2106
2107 "You always come dreadfully late."
2108
2109 "Well, I can't help going to see Sibyl play," he cried, "even if it is
2110 only for a single act. I get hungry for her presence; and when I think
2111 of the wonderful soul that is hidden away in that little ivory body, I
2112 am filled with awe."
2113
2114 "You can dine with me to-night, Dorian, can't you?"
2115
2116 He shook his head. "To-night she is Imogen," he answered, "and
2117 to-morrow night she will be Juliet."
2118
2119 "When is she Sibyl Vane?"
2120
2121 "Never."
2122
2123 "I congratulate you."
2124
2125 "How horrid you are! She is all the great heroines of the world in
2126 one. She is more than an individual. You laugh, but I tell you she
2127 has genius. I love her, and I must make her love me. You, who know
2128 all the secrets of life, tell me how to charm Sibyl Vane to love me! I
2129 want to make Romeo jealous. I want the dead lovers of the world to
2130 hear our laughter and grow sad. I want a breath of our passion to stir
2131 their dust into consciousness, to wake their ashes into pain. My God,
2132 Harry, how I worship her!" He was walking up and down the room as he
2133 spoke. Hectic spots of red burned on his cheeks. He was terribly
2134 excited.
2135
2136 Lord Henry watched him with a subtle sense of pleasure. How different
2137 he was now from the shy frightened boy he had met in Basil Hallward's
2138 studio! His nature had developed like a flower, had borne blossoms of
2139 scarlet flame. Out of its secret hiding-place had crept his soul, and
2140 desire had come to meet it on the way.
2141
2142 "And what do you propose to do?" said Lord Henry at last.
2143
2144 "I want you and Basil to come with me some night and see her act. I
2145 have not the slightest fear of the result. You are certain to
2146 acknowledge her genius. Then we must get her out of the Jew's hands.
2147 She is bound to him for three years--at least for two years and eight
2148 months--from the present time. I shall have to pay him something, of
2149 course. When all that is settled, I shall take a West End theatre and
2150 bring her out properly. She will make the world as mad as she has made
2151 me."
2152
2153 "That would be impossible, my dear boy."
2154
2155 "Yes, she will. She has not merely art, consummate art-instinct, in
2156 her, but she has personality also; and you have often told me that it
2157 is personalities, not principles, that move the age."
2158
2159 "Well, what night shall we go?"
2160
2161 "Let me see. To-day is Tuesday. Let us fix to-morrow. She plays
2162 Juliet to-morrow."
2163
2164 "All right. The Bristol at eight o'clock; and I will get Basil."
2165
2166 "Not eight, Harry, please. Half-past six. We must be there before the
2167 curtain rises. You must see her in the first act, where she meets
2168 Romeo."
2169
2170 "Half-past six! What an hour! It will be like having a meat-tea, or
2171 reading an English novel. It must be seven. No gentleman dines before
2172 seven. Shall you see Basil between this and then? Or shall I write to
2173 him?"
2174
2175 "Dear Basil! I have not laid eyes on him for a week. It is rather
2176 horrid of me, as he has sent me my portrait in the most wonderful
2177 frame, specially designed by himself, and, though I am a little jealous
2178 of the picture for being a whole month younger than I am, I must admit
2179 that I delight in it. Perhaps you had better write to him. I don't
2180 want to see him alone. He says things that annoy me. He gives me good
2181 advice."
2182
2183 Lord Henry smiled. "People are very fond of giving away what they need
2184 most themselves. It is what I call the depth of generosity."
2185
2186 "Oh, Basil is the best of fellows, but he seems to me to be just a bit
2187 of a Philistine. Since I have known you, Harry, I have discovered
2188 that."
2189
2190 "Basil, my dear boy, puts everything that is charming in him into his
2191 work. The consequence is that he has nothing left for life but his
2192 prejudices, his principles, and his common sense. The only artists I
2193 have ever known who are personally delightful are bad artists. Good
2194 artists exist simply in what they make, and consequently are perfectly
2195 uninteresting in what they are. A great poet, a really great poet, is
2196 the most unpoetical of all creatures. But inferior poets are
2197 absolutely fascinating. The worse their rhymes are, the more
2198 picturesque they look. The mere fact of having published a book of
2199 second-rate sonnets makes a man quite irresistible. He lives the
2200 poetry that he cannot write. The others write the poetry that they
2201 dare not realize."
2202
2203 "I wonder is that really so, Harry?" said Dorian Gray, putting some
2204 perfume on his handkerchief out of a large, gold-topped bottle that
2205 stood on the table. "It must be, if you say it. And now I am off.
2206 Imogen is waiting for me. Don't forget about to-morrow. Good-bye."
2207
2208 As he left the room, Lord Henry's heavy eyelids drooped, and he began
2209 to think. Certainly few people had ever interested him so much as
2210 Dorian Gray, and yet the lad's mad adoration of some one else caused
2211 him not the slightest pang of annoyance or jealousy. He was pleased by
2212 it. It made him a more interesting study. He had been always
2213 enthralled by the methods of natural science, but the ordinary
2214 subject-matter of that science had seemed to him trivial and of no
2215 import. And so he had begun by vivisecting himself, as he had ended by
2216 vivisecting others. Human life--that appeared to him the one thing
2217 worth investigating. Compared to it there was nothing else of any
2218 value. It was true that as one watched life in its curious crucible of
2219 pain and pleasure, one could not wear over one's face a mask of glass,
2220 nor keep the sulphurous fumes from troubling the brain and making the
2221 imagination turbid with monstrous fancies and misshapen dreams. There
2222 were poisons so subtle that to know their properties one had to sicken
2223 of them. There were maladies so strange that one had to pass through
2224 them if one sought to understand their nature. And, yet, what a great
2225 reward one received! How wonderful the whole world became to one! To
2226 note the curious hard logic of passion, and the emotional coloured life
2227 of the intellect--to observe where they met, and where they separated,
2228 at what point they were in unison, and at what point they were at
2229 discord--there was a delight in that! What matter what the cost was?
2230 One could never pay too high a price for any sensation.
2231
2232 He was conscious--and the thought brought a gleam of pleasure into his
2233 brown agate eyes--that it was through certain words of his, musical
2234 words said with musical utterance, that Dorian Gray's soul had turned
2235 to this white girl and bowed in worship before her. To a large extent
2236 the lad was his own creation. He had made him premature. That was
2237 something. Ordinary people waited till life disclosed to them its
2238 secrets, but to the few, to the elect, the mysteries of life were
2239 revealed before the veil was drawn away. Sometimes this was the effect
2240 of art, and chiefly of the art of literature, which dealt immediately
2241 with the passions and the intellect. But now and then a complex
2242 personality took the place and assumed the office of art, was indeed,
2243 in its way, a real work of art, life having its elaborate masterpieces,
2244 just as poetry has, or sculpture, or painting.
2245
2246 Yes, the lad was premature. He was gathering his harvest while it was
2247 yet spring. The pulse and passion of youth were in him, but he was
2248 becoming self-conscious. It was delightful to watch him. With his
2249 beautiful face, and his beautiful soul, he was a thing to wonder at.
2250 It was no matter how it all ended, or was destined to end. He was like
2251 one of those gracious figures in a pageant or a play, whose joys seem
2252 to be remote from one, but whose sorrows stir one's sense of beauty,
2253 and whose wounds are like red roses.
2254
2255 Soul and body, body and soul--how mysterious they were! There was
2256 animalism in the soul, and the body had its moments of spirituality.
2257 The senses could refine, and the intellect could degrade. Who could
2258 say where the fleshly impulse ceased, or the psychical impulse began?
2259 How shallow were the arbitrary definitions of ordinary psychologists!
2260 And yet how difficult to decide between the claims of the various
2261 schools! Was the soul a shadow seated in the house of sin? Or was the
2262 body really in the soul, as Giordano Bruno thought? The separation of
2263 spirit from matter was a mystery, and the union of spirit with matter
2264 was a mystery also.
2265
2266 He began to wonder whether we could ever make psychology so absolute a
2267 science that each little spring of life would be revealed to us. As it
2268 was, we always misunderstood ourselves and rarely understood others.
2269 Experience was of no ethical value. It was merely the name men gave to
2270 their mistakes. Moralists had, as a rule, regarded it as a mode of
2271 warning, had claimed for it a certain ethical efficacy in the formation
2272 of character, had praised it as something that taught us what to follow
2273 and showed us what to avoid. But there was no motive power in
2274 experience. It was as little of an active cause as conscience itself.
2275 All that it really demonstrated was that our future would be the same
2276 as our past, and that the sin we had done once, and with loathing, we
2277 would do many times, and with joy.
2278
2279 It was clear to him that the experimental method was the only method by
2280 which one could arrive at any scientific analysis of the passions; and
2281 certainly Dorian Gray was a subject made to his hand, and seemed to
2282 promise rich and fruitful results. His sudden mad love for Sibyl Vane
2283 was a psychological phenomenon of no small interest. There was no
2284 doubt that curiosity had much to do with it, curiosity and the desire
2285 for new experiences, yet it was not a simple, but rather a very complex
2286 passion. What there was in it of the purely sensuous instinct of
2287 boyhood had been transformed by the workings of the imagination,
2288 changed into something that seemed to the lad himself to be remote from
2289 sense, and was for that very reason all the more dangerous. It was the
2290 passions about whose origin we deceived ourselves that tyrannized most
2291 strongly over us. Our weakest motives were those of whose nature we
2292 were conscious. It often happened that when we thought we were
2293 experimenting on others we were really experimenting on ourselves.
2294
2295 While Lord Henry sat dreaming on these things, a knock came to the
2296 door, and his valet entered and reminded him it was time to dress for
2297 dinner. He got up and looked out into the street. The sunset had
2298 smitten into scarlet gold the upper windows of the houses opposite.
2299 The panes glowed like plates of heated metal. The sky above was like a
2300 faded rose. He thought of his friend's young fiery-coloured life and
2301 wondered how it was all going to end.
2302
2303 When he arrived home, about half-past twelve o'clock, he saw a telegram
2304 lying on the hall table. He opened it and found it was from Dorian
2305 Gray. It was to tell him that he was engaged to be married to Sibyl
2306 Vane.
2307
2308
2309
2310 CHAPTER 5
2311
2312 "Mother, Mother, I am so happy!" whispered the girl, burying her face
2313 in the lap of the faded, tired-looking woman who, with back turned to
2314 the shrill intrusive light, was sitting in the one arm-chair that their
2315 dingy sitting-room contained. "I am so happy!" she repeated, "and you
2316 must be happy, too!"
2317
2318 Mrs. Vane winced and put her thin, bismuth-whitened hands on her
2319 daughter's head. "Happy!" she echoed, "I am only happy, Sibyl, when I
2320 see you act. You must not think of anything but your acting. Mr.
2321 Isaacs has been very good to us, and we owe him money."
2322
2323 The girl looked up and pouted. "Money, Mother?" she cried, "what does
2324 money matter? Love is more than money."
2325
2326 "Mr. Isaacs has advanced us fifty pounds to pay off our debts and to
2327 get a proper outfit for James. You must not forget that, Sibyl. Fifty
2328 pounds is a very large sum. Mr. Isaacs has been most considerate."
2329
2330 "He is not a gentleman, Mother, and I hate the way he talks to me,"
2331 said the girl, rising to her feet and going over to the window.
2332
2333 "I don't know how we could manage without him," answered the elder
2334 woman querulously.
2335
2336 Sibyl Vane tossed her head and laughed. "We don't want him any more,
2337 Mother. Prince Charming rules life for us now." Then she paused. A
2338 rose shook in her blood and shadowed her cheeks. Quick breath parted
2339 the petals of her lips. They trembled. Some southern wind of passion
2340 swept over her and stirred the dainty folds of her dress. "I love
2341 him," she said simply.
2342
2343 "Foolish child! foolish child!" was the parrot-phrase flung in answer.
2344 The waving of crooked, false-jewelled fingers gave grotesqueness to the
2345 words.
2346
2347 The girl laughed again. The joy of a caged bird was in her voice. Her
2348 eyes caught the melody and echoed it in radiance, then closed for a
2349 moment, as though to hide their secret. When they opened, the mist of
2350 a dream had passed across them.
2351
2352 Thin-lipped wisdom spoke at her from the worn chair, hinted at
2353 prudence, quoted from that book of cowardice whose author apes the name
2354 of common sense. She did not listen. She was free in her prison of
2355 passion. Her prince, Prince Charming, was with her. She had called on
2356 memory to remake him. She had sent her soul to search for him, and it
2357 had brought him back. His kiss burned again upon her mouth. Her
2358 eyelids were warm with his breath.
2359
2360 Then wisdom altered its method and spoke of espial and discovery. This
2361 young man might be rich. If so, marriage should be thought of.
2362 Against the shell of her ear broke the waves of worldly cunning. The
2363 arrows of craft shot by her. She saw the thin lips moving, and smiled.
2364
2365 Suddenly she felt the need to speak. The wordy silence troubled her.
2366 "Mother, Mother," she cried, "why does he love me so much? I know why
2367 I love him. I love him because he is like what love himself should be.
2368 But what does he see in me? I am not worthy of him. And yet--why, I
2369 cannot tell--though I feel so much beneath him, I don't feel humble. I
2370 feel proud, terribly proud. Mother, did you love my father as I love
2371 Prince Charming?"
2372
2373 The elder woman grew pale beneath the coarse powder that daubed her
2374 cheeks, and her dry lips twitched with a spasm of pain. Sybil rushed
2375 to her, flung her arms round her neck, and kissed her. "Forgive me,
2376 Mother. I know it pains you to talk about our father. But it only
2377 pains you because you loved him so much. Don't look so sad. I am as
2378 happy to-day as you were twenty years ago. Ah! let me be happy for
2379 ever!"
2380
2381 "My child, you are far too young to think of falling in love. Besides,
2382 what do you know of this young man? You don't even know his name. The
2383 whole thing is most inconvenient, and really, when James is going away
2384 to Australia, and I have so much to think of, I must say that you
2385 should have shown more consideration. However, as I said before, if he
2386 is rich ..."
2387
2388 "Ah! Mother, Mother, let me be happy!"
2389
2390 Mrs. Vane glanced at her, and with one of those false theatrical
2391 gestures that so often become a mode of second nature to a
2392 stage-player, clasped her in her arms. At this moment, the door opened
2393 and a young lad with rough brown hair came into the room. He was
2394 thick-set of figure, and his hands and feet were large and somewhat
2395 clumsy in movement. He was not so finely bred as his sister. One
2396 would hardly have guessed the close relationship that existed between
2397 them. Mrs. Vane fixed her eyes on him and intensified her smile. She
2398 mentally elevated her son to the dignity of an audience. She felt sure
2399 that the _tableau_ was interesting.
2400
2401 "You might keep some of your kisses for me, Sibyl, I think," said the
2402 lad with a good-natured grumble.
2403
2404 "Ah! but you don't like being kissed, Jim," she cried. "You are a
2405 dreadful old bear." And she ran across the room and hugged him.
2406
2407 James Vane looked into his sister's face with tenderness. "I want you
2408 to come out with me for a walk, Sibyl. I don't suppose I shall ever
2409 see this horrid London again. I am sure I don't want to."
2410
2411 "My son, don't say such dreadful things," murmured Mrs. Vane, taking up
2412 a tawdry theatrical dress, with a sigh, and beginning to patch it. She
2413 felt a little disappointed that he had not joined the group. It would
2414 have increased the theatrical picturesqueness of the situation.
2415
2416 "Why not, Mother? I mean it."
2417
2418 "You pain me, my son. I trust you will return from Australia in a
2419 position of affluence. I believe there is no society of any kind in
2420 the Colonies--nothing that I would call society--so when you have made
2421 your fortune, you must come back and assert yourself in London."
2422
2423 "Society!" muttered the lad. "I don't want to know anything about
2424 that. I should like to make some money to take you and Sibyl off the
2425 stage. I hate it."
2426
2427 "Oh, Jim!" said Sibyl, laughing, "how unkind of you! But are you
2428 really going for a walk with me? That will be nice! I was afraid you
2429 were going to say good-bye to some of your friends--to Tom Hardy, who
2430 gave you that hideous pipe, or Ned Langton, who makes fun of you for
2431 smoking it. It is very sweet of you to let me have your last
2432 afternoon. Where shall we go? Let us go to the park."
2433
2434 "I am too shabby," he answered, frowning. "Only swell people go to the
2435 park."
2436
2437 "Nonsense, Jim," she whispered, stroking the sleeve of his coat.
2438
2439 He hesitated for a moment. "Very well," he said at last, "but don't be
2440 too long dressing." She danced out of the door. One could hear her
2441 singing as she ran upstairs. Her little feet pattered overhead.
2442
2443 He walked up and down the room two or three times. Then he turned to
2444 the still figure in the chair. "Mother, are my things ready?" he asked.
2445
2446 "Quite ready, James," she answered, keeping her eyes on her work. For
2447 some months past she had felt ill at ease when she was alone with this
2448 rough stern son of hers. Her shallow secret nature was troubled when
2449 their eyes met. She used to wonder if he suspected anything. The
2450 silence, for he made no other observation, became intolerable to her.
2451 She began to complain. Women defend themselves by attacking, just as
2452 they attack by sudden and strange surrenders. "I hope you will be
2453 contented, James, with your sea-faring life," she said. "You must
2454 remember that it is your own choice. You might have entered a
2455 solicitor's office. Solicitors are a very respectable class, and in
2456 the country often dine with the best families."
2457
2458 "I hate offices, and I hate clerks," he replied. "But you are quite
2459 right. I have chosen my own life. All I say is, watch over Sibyl.
2460 Don't let her come to any harm. Mother, you must watch over her."
2461
2462 "James, you really talk very strangely. Of course I watch over Sibyl."
2463
2464 "I hear a gentleman comes every night to the theatre and goes behind to
2465 talk to her. Is that right? What about that?"
2466
2467 "You are speaking about things you don't understand, James. In the
2468 profession we are accustomed to receive a great deal of most gratifying
2469 attention. I myself used to receive many bouquets at one time. That
2470 was when acting was really understood. As for Sibyl, I do not know at
2471 present whether her attachment is serious or not. But there is no
2472 doubt that the young man in question is a perfect gentleman. He is
2473 always most polite to me. Besides, he has the appearance of being
2474 rich, and the flowers he sends are lovely."
2475
2476 "You don't know his name, though," said the lad harshly.
2477
2478 "No," answered his mother with a placid expression in her face. "He
2479 has not yet revealed his real name. I think it is quite romantic of
2480 him. He is probably a member of the aristocracy."
2481
2482 James Vane bit his lip. "Watch over Sibyl, Mother," he cried, "watch
2483 over her."
2484
2485 "My son, you distress me very much. Sibyl is always under my special
2486 care. Of course, if this gentleman is wealthy, there is no reason why
2487 she should not contract an alliance with him. I trust he is one of the
2488 aristocracy. He has all the appearance of it, I must say. It might be
2489 a most brilliant marriage for Sibyl. They would make a charming
2490 couple. His good looks are really quite remarkable; everybody notices
2491 them."
2492
2493 The lad muttered something to himself and drummed on the window-pane
2494 with his coarse fingers. He had just turned round to say something
2495 when the door opened and Sibyl ran in.
2496
2497 "How serious you both are!" she cried. "What is the matter?"
2498
2499 "Nothing," he answered. "I suppose one must be serious sometimes.
2500 Good-bye, Mother; I will have my dinner at five o'clock. Everything is
2501 packed, except my shirts, so you need not trouble."
2502
2503 "Good-bye, my son," she answered with a bow of strained stateliness.
2504
2505 She was extremely annoyed at the tone he had adopted with her, and
2506 there was something in his look that had made her feel afraid.
2507
2508 "Kiss me, Mother," said the girl. Her flowerlike lips touched the
2509 withered cheek and warmed its frost.
2510
2511 "My child! my child!" cried Mrs. Vane, looking up to the ceiling in
2512 search of an imaginary gallery.
2513
2514 "Come, Sibyl," said her brother impatiently. He hated his mother's
2515 affectations.
2516
2517 They went out into the flickering, wind-blown sunlight and strolled
2518 down the dreary Euston Road. The passersby glanced in wonder at the
2519 sullen heavy youth who, in coarse, ill-fitting clothes, was in the
2520 company of such a graceful, refined-looking girl. He was like a common
2521 gardener walking with a rose.
2522
2523 Jim frowned from time to time when he caught the inquisitive glance of
2524 some stranger. He had that dislike of being stared at, which comes on
2525 geniuses late in life and never leaves the commonplace. Sibyl,
2526 however, was quite unconscious of the effect she was producing. Her
2527 love was trembling in laughter on her lips. She was thinking of Prince
2528 Charming, and, that she might think of him all the more, she did not
2529 talk of him, but prattled on about the ship in which Jim was going to
2530 sail, about the gold he was certain to find, about the wonderful
2531 heiress whose life he was to save from the wicked, red-shirted
2532 bushrangers. For he was not to remain a sailor, or a supercargo, or
2533 whatever he was going to be. Oh, no! A sailor's existence was
2534 dreadful. Fancy being cooped up in a horrid ship, with the hoarse,
2535 hump-backed waves trying to get in, and a black wind blowing the masts
2536 down and tearing the sails into long screaming ribands! He was to
2537 leave the vessel at Melbourne, bid a polite good-bye to the captain,
2538 and go off at once to the gold-fields. Before a week was over he was to
2539 come across a large nugget of pure gold, the largest nugget that had
2540 ever been discovered, and bring it down to the coast in a waggon
2541 guarded by six mounted policemen. The bushrangers were to attack them
2542 three times, and be defeated with immense slaughter. Or, no. He was
2543 not to go to the gold-fields at all. They were horrid places, where
2544 men got intoxicated, and shot each other in bar-rooms, and used bad
2545 language. He was to be a nice sheep-farmer, and one evening, as he was
2546 riding home, he was to see the beautiful heiress being carried off by a
2547 robber on a black horse, and give chase, and rescue her. Of course,
2548 she would fall in love with him, and he with her, and they would get
2549 married, and come home, and live in an immense house in London. Yes,
2550 there were delightful things in store for him. But he must be very
2551 good, and not lose his temper, or spend his money foolishly. She was
2552 only a year older than he was, but she knew so much more of life. He
2553 must be sure, also, to write to her by every mail, and to say his
2554 prayers each night before he went to sleep. God was very good, and
2555 would watch over him. She would pray for him, too, and in a few years
2556 he would come back quite rich and happy.
2557
2558 The lad listened sulkily to her and made no answer. He was heart-sick
2559 at leaving home.
2560
2561 Yet it was not this alone that made him gloomy and morose.
2562 Inexperienced though he was, he had still a strong sense of the danger
2563 of Sibyl's position. This young dandy who was making love to her could
2564 mean her no good. He was a gentleman, and he hated him for that, hated
2565 him through some curious race-instinct for which he could not account,
2566 and which for that reason was all the more dominant within him. He was
2567 conscious also of the shallowness and vanity of his mother's nature,
2568 and in that saw infinite peril for Sibyl and Sibyl's happiness.
2569 Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge
2570 them; sometimes they forgive them.
2571
2572 His mother! He had something on his mind to ask of her, something that
2573 he had brooded on for many months of silence. A chance phrase that he
2574 had heard at the theatre, a whispered sneer that had reached his ears
2575 one night as he waited at the stage-door, had set loose a train of
2576 horrible thoughts. He remembered it as if it had been the lash of a
2577 hunting-crop across his face. His brows knit together into a wedge-like
2578 furrow, and with a twitch of pain he bit his underlip.
2579
2580 "You are not listening to a word I am saying, Jim," cried Sibyl, "and I
2581 am making the most delightful plans for your future. Do say something."
2582
2583 "What do you want me to say?"
2584
2585 "Oh! that you will be a good boy and not forget us," she answered,
2586 smiling at him.
2587
2588 He shrugged his shoulders. "You are more likely to forget me than I am
2589 to forget you, Sibyl."
2590
2591 She flushed. "What do you mean, Jim?" she asked.
2592
2593 "You have a new friend, I hear. Who is he? Why have you not told me
2594 about him? He means you no good."
2595
2596 "Stop, Jim!" she exclaimed. "You must not say anything against him. I
2597 love him."
2598
2599 "Why, you don't even know his name," answered the lad. "Who is he? I
2600 have a right to know."
2601
2602 "He is called Prince Charming. Don't you like the name. Oh! you silly
2603 boy! you should never forget it. If you only saw him, you would think
2604 him the most wonderful person in the world. Some day you will meet
2605 him--when you come back from Australia. You will like him so much.
2606 Everybody likes him, and I ... love him. I wish you could come to the
2607 theatre to-night. He is going to be there, and I am to play Juliet.
2608 Oh! how I shall play it! Fancy, Jim, to be in love and play Juliet!
2609 To have him sitting there! To play for his delight! I am afraid I may
2610 frighten the company, frighten or enthrall them. To be in love is to
2611 surpass one's self. Poor dreadful Mr. Isaacs will be shouting 'genius'
2612 to his loafers at the bar. He has preached me as a dogma; to-night he
2613 will announce me as a revelation. I feel it. And it is all his, his
2614 only, Prince Charming, my wonderful lover, my god of graces. But I am
2615 poor beside him. Poor? What does that matter? When poverty creeps in
2616 at the door, love flies in through the window. Our proverbs want
2617 rewriting. They were made in winter, and it is summer now; spring-time
2618 for me, I think, a very dance of blossoms in blue skies."
2619
2620 "He is a gentleman," said the lad sullenly.
2621
2622 "A prince!" she cried musically. "What more do you want?"
2623
2624 "He wants to enslave you."
2625
2626 "I shudder at the thought of being free."
2627
2628 "I want you to beware of him."
2629
2630 "To see him is to worship him; to know him is to trust him."
2631
2632 "Sibyl, you are mad about him."
2633
2634 She laughed and took his arm. "You dear old Jim, you talk as if you
2635 were a hundred. Some day you will be in love yourself. Then you will
2636 know what it is. Don't look so sulky. Surely you should be glad to
2637 think that, though you are going away, you leave me happier than I have
2638 ever been before. Life has been hard for us both, terribly hard and
2639 difficult. But it will be different now. You are going to a new
2640 world, and I have found one. Here are two chairs; let us sit down and
2641 see the smart people go by."
2642
2643 They took their seats amidst a crowd of watchers. The tulip-beds
2644 across the road flamed like throbbing rings of fire. A white
2645 dust--tremulous cloud of orris-root it seemed--hung in the panting air.
2646 The brightly coloured parasols danced and dipped like monstrous
2647 butterflies.
2648
2649 She made her brother talk of himself, his hopes, his prospects. He
2650 spoke slowly and with effort. They passed words to each other as
2651 players at a game pass counters. Sibyl felt oppressed. She could not
2652 communicate her joy. A faint smile curving that sullen mouth was all
2653 the echo she could win. After some time she became silent. Suddenly
2654 she caught a glimpse of golden hair and laughing lips, and in an open
2655 carriage with two ladies Dorian Gray drove past.
2656
2657 She started to her feet. "There he is!" she cried.
2658
2659 "Who?" said Jim Vane.
2660
2661 "Prince Charming," she answered, looking after the victoria.
2662
2663 He jumped up and seized her roughly by the arm. "Show him to me.
2664 Which is he? Point him out. I must see him!" he exclaimed; but at
2665 that moment the Duke of Berwick's four-in-hand came between, and when
2666 it had left the space clear, the carriage had swept out of the park.
2667
2668 "He is gone," murmured Sibyl sadly. "I wish you had seen him."
2669
2670 "I wish I had, for as sure as there is a God in heaven, if he ever does
2671 you any wrong, I shall kill him."
2672
2673 She looked at him in horror. He repeated his words. They cut the air
2674 like a dagger. The people round began to gape. A lady standing close
2675 to her tittered.
2676
2677 "Come away, Jim; come away," she whispered. He followed her doggedly
2678 as she passed through the crowd. He felt glad at what he had said.
2679
2680 When they reached the Achilles Statue, she turned round. There was
2681 pity in her eyes that became laughter on her lips. She shook her head
2682 at him. "You are foolish, Jim, utterly foolish; a bad-tempered boy,
2683 that is all. How can you say such horrible things? You don't know
2684 what you are talking about. You are simply jealous and unkind. Ah! I
2685 wish you would fall in love. Love makes people good, and what you said
2686 was wicked."
2687
2688 "I am sixteen," he answered, "and I know what I am about. Mother is no
2689 help to you. She doesn't understand how to look after you. I wish now
2690 that I was not going to Australia at all. I have a great mind to chuck
2691 the whole thing up. I would, if my articles hadn't been signed."
2692
2693 "Oh, don't be so serious, Jim. You are like one of the heroes of those
2694 silly melodramas Mother used to be so fond of acting in. I am not
2695 going to quarrel with you. I have seen him, and oh! to see him is
2696 perfect happiness. We won't quarrel. I know you would never harm any
2697 one I love, would you?"
2698
2699 "Not as long as you love him, I suppose," was the sullen answer.
2700
2701 "I shall love him for ever!" she cried.
2702
2703 "And he?"
2704
2705 "For ever, too!"
2706
2707 "He had better."
2708
2709 She shrank from him. Then she laughed and put her hand on his arm. He
2710 was merely a boy.
2711
2712 At the Marble Arch they hailed an omnibus, which left them close to
2713 their shabby home in the Euston Road. It was after five o'clock, and
2714 Sibyl had to lie down for a couple of hours before acting. Jim
2715 insisted that she should do so. He said that he would sooner part with
2716 her when their mother was not present. She would be sure to make a
2717 scene, and he detested scenes of every kind.
2718
2719 In Sybil's own room they parted. There was jealousy in the lad's
2720 heart, and a fierce murderous hatred of the stranger who, as it seemed
2721 to him, had come between them. Yet, when her arms were flung round his
2722 neck, and her fingers strayed through his hair, he softened and kissed
2723 her with real affection. There were tears in his eyes as he went
2724 downstairs.
2725
2726 His mother was waiting for him below. She grumbled at his
2727 unpunctuality, as he entered. He made no answer, but sat down to his
2728 meagre meal. The flies buzzed round the table and crawled over the
2729 stained cloth. Through the rumble of omnibuses, and the clatter of
2730 street-cabs, he could hear the droning voice devouring each minute that
2731 was left to him.
2732
2733 After some time, he thrust away his plate and put his head in his
2734 hands. He felt that he had a right to know. It should have been told
2735 to him before, if it was as he suspected. Leaden with fear, his mother
2736 watched him. Words dropped mechanically from her lips. A tattered
2737 lace handkerchief twitched in her fingers. When the clock struck six,
2738 he got up and went to the door. Then he turned back and looked at her.
2739 Their eyes met. In hers he saw a wild appeal for mercy. It enraged
2740 him.
2741
2742 "Mother, I have something to ask you," he said. Her eyes wandered
2743 vaguely about the room. She made no answer. "Tell me the truth. I
2744 have a right to know. Were you married to my father?"
2745
2746 She heaved a deep sigh. It was a sigh of relief. The terrible moment,
2747 the moment that night and day, for weeks and months, she had dreaded,
2748 had come at last, and yet she felt no terror. Indeed, in some measure
2749 it was a disappointment to her. The vulgar directness of the question
2750 called for a direct answer. The situation had not been gradually led
2751 up to. It was crude. It reminded her of a bad rehearsal.
2752
2753 "No," she answered, wondering at the harsh simplicity of life.
2754
2755 "My father was a scoundrel then!" cried the lad, clenching his fists.
2756
2757 She shook her head. "I knew he was not free. We loved each other very
2758 much. If he had lived, he would have made provision for us. Don't
2759 speak against him, my son. He was your father, and a gentleman.
2760 Indeed, he was highly connected."
2761
2762 An oath broke from his lips. "I don't care for myself," he exclaimed,
2763 "but don't let Sibyl.... It is a gentleman, isn't it, who is in love
2764 with her, or says he is? Highly connected, too, I suppose."
2765
2766 For a moment a hideous sense of humiliation came over the woman. Her
2767 head drooped. She wiped her eyes with shaking hands. "Sibyl has a
2768 mother," she murmured; "I had none."
2769
2770 The lad was touched. He went towards her, and stooping down, he kissed
2771 her. "I am sorry if I have pained you by asking about my father," he
2772 said, "but I could not help it. I must go now. Good-bye. Don't forget
2773 that you will have only one child now to look after, and believe me
2774 that if this man wrongs my sister, I will find out who he is, track him
2775 down, and kill him like a dog. I swear it."
2776
2777 The exaggerated folly of the threat, the passionate gesture that
2778 accompanied it, the mad melodramatic words, made life seem more vivid
2779 to her. She was familiar with the atmosphere. She breathed more
2780 freely, and for the first time for many months she really admired her
2781 son. She would have liked to have continued the scene on the same
2782 emotional scale, but he cut her short. Trunks had to be carried down
2783 and mufflers looked for. The lodging-house drudge bustled in and out.
2784 There was the bargaining with the cabman. The moment was lost in
2785 vulgar details. It was with a renewed feeling of disappointment that
2786 she waved the tattered lace handkerchief from the window, as her son
2787 drove away. She was conscious that a great opportunity had been
2788 wasted. She consoled herself by telling Sibyl how desolate she felt
2789 her life would be, now that she had only one child to look after. She
2790 remembered the phrase. It had pleased her. Of the threat she said
2791 nothing. It was vividly and dramatically expressed. She felt that
2792 they would all laugh at it some day.
2793
2794
2795
2796 CHAPTER 6
2797
2798 "I suppose you have heard the news, Basil?" said Lord Henry that
2799 evening as Hallward was shown into a little private room at the Bristol
2800 where dinner had been laid for three.
2801
2802 "No, Harry," answered the artist, giving his hat and coat to the bowing
2803 waiter. "What is it? Nothing about politics, I hope! They don't
2804 interest me. There is hardly a single person in the House of Commons
2805 worth painting, though many of them would be the better for a little
2806 whitewashing."
2807
2808 "Dorian Gray is engaged to be married," said Lord Henry, watching him
2809 as he spoke.
2810
2811 Hallward started and then frowned. "Dorian engaged to be married!" he
2812 cried. "Impossible!"
2813
2814 "It is perfectly true."
2815
2816 "To whom?"
2817
2818 "To some little actress or other."
2819
2820 "I can't believe it. Dorian is far too sensible."
2821
2822 "Dorian is far too wise not to do foolish things now and then, my dear
2823 Basil."
2824
2825 "Marriage is hardly a thing that one can do now and then, Harry."
2826
2827 "Except in America," rejoined Lord Henry languidly. "But I didn't say
2828 he was married. I said he was engaged to be married. There is a great
2829 difference. I have a distinct remembrance of being married, but I have
2830 no recollection at all of being engaged. I am inclined to think that I
2831 never was engaged."
2832
2833 "But think of Dorian's birth, and position, and wealth. It would be
2834 absurd for him to marry so much beneath him."
2835
2836 "If you want to make him marry this girl, tell him that, Basil. He is
2837 sure to do it, then. Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it
2838 is always from the noblest motives."
2839
2840 "I hope the girl is good, Harry. I don't want to see Dorian tied to
2841 some vile creature, who might degrade his nature and ruin his
2842 intellect."
2843
2844 "Oh, she is better than good--she is beautiful," murmured Lord Henry,
2845 sipping a glass of vermouth and orange-bitters. "Dorian says she is
2846 beautiful, and he is not often wrong about things of that kind. Your
2847 portrait of him has quickened his appreciation of the personal
2848 appearance of other people. It has had that excellent effect, amongst
2849 others. We are to see her to-night, if that boy doesn't forget his
2850 appointment."
2851
2852 "Are you serious?"
2853
2854 "Quite serious, Basil. I should be miserable if I thought I should
2855 ever be more serious than I am at the present moment."
2856
2857 "But do you approve of it, Harry?" asked the painter, walking up and
2858 down the room and biting his lip. "You can't approve of it, possibly.
2859 It is some silly infatuation."
2860
2861 "I never approve, or disapprove, of anything now. It is an absurd
2862 attitude to take towards life. We are not sent into the world to air
2863 our moral prejudices. I never take any notice of what common people
2864 say, and I never interfere with what charming people do. If a
2865 personality fascinates me, whatever mode of expression that personality
2866 selects is absolutely delightful to me. Dorian Gray falls in love with
2867 a beautiful girl who acts Juliet, and proposes to marry her. Why not?
2868 If he wedded Messalina, he would be none the less interesting. You
2869 know I am not a champion of marriage. The real drawback to marriage is
2870 that it makes one unselfish. And unselfish people are colourless.
2871 They lack individuality. Still, there are certain temperaments that
2872 marriage makes more complex. They retain their egotism, and add to it
2873 many other egos. They are forced to have more than one life. They
2874 become more highly organized, and to be highly organized is, I should
2875 fancy, the object of man's existence. Besides, every experience is of
2876 value, and whatever one may say against marriage, it is certainly an
2877 experience. I hope that Dorian Gray will make this girl his wife,
2878 passionately adore her for six months, and then suddenly become
2879 fascinated by some one else. He would be a wonderful study."
2880
2881 "You don't mean a single word of all that, Harry; you know you don't.
2882 If Dorian Gray's life were spoiled, no one would be sorrier than
2883 yourself. You are much better than you pretend to be."
2884
2885 Lord Henry laughed. "The reason we all like to think so well of others
2886 is that we are all afraid for ourselves. The basis of optimism is
2887 sheer terror. We think that we are generous because we credit our
2888 neighbour with the possession of those virtues that are likely to be a
2889 benefit to us. We praise the banker that we may overdraw our account,
2890 and find good qualities in the highwayman in the hope that he may spare
2891 our pockets. I mean everything that I have said. I have the greatest
2892 contempt for optimism. As for a spoiled life, no life is spoiled but
2893 one whose growth is arrested. If you want to mar a nature, you have
2894 merely to reform it. As for marriage, of course that would be silly,
2895 but there are other and more interesting bonds between men and women.
2896 I will certainly encourage them. They have the charm of being
2897 fashionable. But here is Dorian himself. He will tell you more than I
2898 can."
2899
2900 "My dear Harry, my dear Basil, you must both congratulate me!" said the
2901 lad, throwing off his evening cape with its satin-lined wings and
2902 shaking each of his friends by the hand in turn. "I have never been so
2903 happy. Of course, it is sudden--all really delightful things are. And
2904 yet it seems to me to be the one thing I have been looking for all my
2905 life." He was flushed with excitement and pleasure, and looked
2906 extraordinarily handsome.
2907
2908 "I hope you will always be very happy, Dorian," said Hallward, "but I
2909 don't quite forgive you for not having let me know of your engagement.
2910 You let Harry know."
2911
2912 "And I don't forgive you for being late for dinner," broke in Lord
2913 Henry, putting his hand on the lad's shoulder and smiling as he spoke.
2914 "Come, let us sit down and try what the new _chef_ here is like, and then
2915 you will tell us how it all came about."
2916
2917 "There is really not much to tell," cried Dorian as they took their
2918 seats at the small round table. "What happened was simply this. After
2919 I left you yesterday evening, Harry, I dressed, had some dinner at that
2920 little Italian restaurant in Rupert Street you introduced me to, and
2921 went down at eight o'clock to the theatre. Sibyl was playing Rosalind.
2922 Of course, the scenery was dreadful and the Orlando absurd. But Sibyl!
2923 You should have seen her! When she came on in her boy's clothes, she
2924 was perfectly wonderful. She wore a moss-coloured velvet jerkin with
2925 cinnamon sleeves, slim, brown, cross-gartered hose, a dainty little
2926 green cap with a hawk's feather caught in a jewel, and a hooded cloak
2927 lined with dull red. She had never seemed to me more exquisite. She
2928 had all the delicate grace of that Tanagra figurine that you have in
2929 your studio, Basil. Her hair clustered round her face like dark leaves
2930 round a pale rose. As for her acting--well, you shall see her
2931 to-night. She is simply a born artist. I sat in the dingy box
2932 absolutely enthralled. I forgot that I was in London and in the
2933 nineteenth century. I was away with my love in a forest that no man
2934 had ever seen. After the performance was over, I went behind and spoke
2935 to her. As we were sitting together, suddenly there came into her eyes
2936 a look that I had never seen there before. My lips moved towards hers.
2937 We kissed each other. I can't describe to you what I felt at that
2938 moment. It seemed to me that all my life had been narrowed to one
2939 perfect point of rose-coloured joy. She trembled all over and shook
2940 like a white narcissus. Then she flung herself on her knees and kissed
2941 my hands. I feel that I should not tell you all this, but I can't help
2942 it. Of course, our engagement is a dead secret. She has not even told
2943 her own mother. I don't know what my guardians will say. Lord Radley
2944 is sure to be furious. I don't care. I shall be of age in less than a
2945 year, and then I can do what I like. I have been right, Basil, haven't
2946 I, to take my love out of poetry and to find my wife in Shakespeare's
2947 plays? Lips that Shakespeare taught to speak have whispered their
2948 secret in my ear. I have had the arms of Rosalind around me, and
2949 kissed Juliet on the mouth."
2950
2951 "Yes, Dorian, I suppose you were right," said Hallward slowly.
2952
2953 "Have you seen her to-day?" asked Lord Henry.
2954
2955 Dorian Gray shook his head. "I left her in the forest of Arden; I
2956 shall find her in an orchard in Verona."
2957
2958 Lord Henry sipped his champagne in a meditative manner. "At what
2959 particular point did you mention the word marriage, Dorian? And what
2960 did she say in answer? Perhaps you forgot all about it."
2961
2962 "My dear Harry, I did not treat it as a business transaction, and I did
2963 not make any formal proposal. I told her that I loved her, and she
2964 said she was not worthy to be my wife. Not worthy! Why, the whole
2965 world is nothing to me compared with her."
2966
2967 "Women are wonderfully practical," murmured Lord Henry, "much more
2968 practical than we are. In situations of that kind we often forget to
2969 say anything about marriage, and they always remind us."
2970
2971 Hallward laid his hand upon his arm. "Don't, Harry. You have annoyed
2972 Dorian. He is not like other men. He would never bring misery upon
2973 any one. His nature is too fine for that."
2974
2975 Lord Henry looked across the table. "Dorian is never annoyed with me,"
2976 he answered. "I asked the question for the best reason possible, for
2977 the only reason, indeed, that excuses one for asking any
2978 question--simple curiosity. I have a theory that it is always the
2979 women who propose to us, and not we who propose to the women. Except,
2980 of course, in middle-class life. But then the middle classes are not
2981 modern."
2982
2983 Dorian Gray laughed, and tossed his head. "You are quite incorrigible,
2984 Harry; but I don't mind. It is impossible to be angry with you. When
2985 you see Sibyl Vane, you will feel that the man who could wrong her
2986 would be a beast, a beast without a heart. I cannot understand how any
2987 one can wish to shame the thing he loves. I love Sibyl Vane. I want
2988 to place her on a pedestal of gold and to see the world worship the
2989 woman who is mine. What is marriage? An irrevocable vow. You mock at
2990 it for that. Ah! don't mock. It is an irrevocable vow that I want to
2991 take. Her trust makes me faithful, her belief makes me good. When I
2992 am with her, I regret all that you have taught me. I become different
2993 from what you have known me to be. I am changed, and the mere touch of
2994 Sibyl Vane's hand makes me forget you and all your wrong, fascinating,
2995 poisonous, delightful theories."
2996
2997 "And those are ...?" asked Lord Henry, helping himself to some salad.
2998
2999 "Oh, your theories about life, your theories about love, your theories
3000 about pleasure. All your theories, in fact, Harry."
3001
3002 "Pleasure is the only thing worth having a theory about," he answered
3003 in his slow melodious voice. "But I am afraid I cannot claim my theory
3004 as my own. It belongs to Nature, not to me. Pleasure is Nature's
3005 test, her sign of approval. When we are happy, we are always good, but
3006 when we are good, we are not always happy."
3007
3008 "Ah! but what do you mean by good?" cried Basil Hallward.
3009
3010 "Yes," echoed Dorian, leaning back in his chair and looking at Lord
3011 Henry over the heavy clusters of purple-lipped irises that stood in the
3012 centre of the table, "what do you mean by good, Harry?"
3013
3014 "To be good is to be in harmony with one's self," he replied, touching
3015 the thin stem of his glass with his pale, fine-pointed fingers.
3016 "Discord is to be forced to be in harmony with others. One's own
3017 life--that is the important thing. As for the lives of one's
3018 neighbours, if one wishes to be a prig or a Puritan, one can flaunt
3019 one's moral views about them, but they are not one's concern. Besides,
3020 individualism has really the higher aim. Modern morality consists in
3021 accepting the standard of one's age. I consider that for any man of
3022 culture to accept the standard of his age is a form of the grossest
3023 immorality."
3024
3025 "But, surely, if one lives merely for one's self, Harry, one pays a
3026 terrible price for doing so?" suggested the painter.
3027
3028 "Yes, we are overcharged for everything nowadays. I should fancy that
3029 the real tragedy of the poor is that they can afford nothing but
3030 self-denial. Beautiful sins, like beautiful things, are the privilege
3031 of the rich."
3032
3033 "One has to pay in other ways but money."
3034
3035 "What sort of ways, Basil?"
3036
3037 "Oh! I should fancy in remorse, in suffering, in ... well, in the
3038 consciousness of degradation."
3039
3040 Lord Henry shrugged his shoulders. "My dear fellow, mediaeval art is
3041 charming, but mediaeval emotions are out of date. One can use them in
3042 fiction, of course. But then the only things that one can use in
3043 fiction are the things that one has ceased to use in fact. Believe me,
3044 no civilized man ever regrets a pleasure, and no uncivilized man ever
3045 knows what a pleasure is."
3046
3047 "I know what pleasure is," cried Dorian Gray. "It is to adore some
3048 one."
3049
3050 "That is certainly better than being adored," he answered, toying with
3051 some fruits. "Being adored is a nuisance. Women treat us just as
3052 humanity treats its gods. They worship us, and are always bothering us
3053 to do something for them."
3054
3055 "I should have said that whatever they ask for they had first given to
3056 us," murmured the lad gravely. "They create love in our natures. They
3057 have a right to demand it back."
3058
3059 "That is quite true, Dorian," cried Hallward.
3060
3061 "Nothing is ever quite true," said Lord Henry.
3062
3063 "This is," interrupted Dorian. "You must admit, Harry, that women give
3064 to men the very gold of their lives."
3065
3066 "Possibly," he sighed, "but they invariably want it back in such very
3067 small change. That is the worry. Women, as some witty Frenchman once
3068 put it, inspire us with the desire to do masterpieces and always
3069 prevent us from carrying them out."
3070
3071 "Harry, you are dreadful! I don't know why I like you so much."
3072
3073 "You will always like me, Dorian," he replied. "Will you have some
3074 coffee, you fellows? Waiter, bring coffee, and _fine-champagne_, and
3075 some cigarettes. No, don't mind the cigarettes--I have some. Basil, I
3076 can't allow you to smoke cigars. You must have a cigarette. A
3077 cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure. It is exquisite,
3078 and it leaves one unsatisfied. What more can one want? Yes, Dorian,
3079 you will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you
3080 have never had the courage to commit."
3081
3082 "What nonsense you talk, Harry!" cried the lad, taking a light from a
3083 fire-breathing silver dragon that the waiter had placed on the table.
3084 "Let us go down to the theatre. When Sibyl comes on the stage you will
3085 have a new ideal of life. She will represent something to you that you
3086 have never known."
3087
3088 "I have known everything," said Lord Henry, with a tired look in his
3089 eyes, "but I am always ready for a new emotion. I am afraid, however,
3090 that, for me at any rate, there is no such thing. Still, your
3091 wonderful girl may thrill me. I love acting. It is so much more real
3092 than life. Let us go. Dorian, you will come with me. I am so sorry,
3093 Basil, but there is only room for two in the brougham. You must follow
3094 us in a hansom."
3095
3096 They got up and put on their coats, sipping their coffee standing. The
3097 painter was silent and preoccupied. There was a gloom over him. He
3098 could not bear this marriage, and yet it seemed to him to be better
3099 than many other things that might have happened. After a few minutes,
3100 they all passed downstairs. He drove off by himself, as had been
3101 arranged, and watched the flashing lights of the little brougham in
3102 front of him. A strange sense of loss came over him. He felt that
3103 Dorian Gray would never again be to him all that he had been in the
3104 past. Life had come between them.... His eyes darkened, and the
3105 crowded flaring streets became blurred to his eyes. When the cab drew
3106 up at the theatre, it seemed to him that he had grown years older.
3107
3108
3109
3110 CHAPTER 7
3111
3112 For some reason or other, the house was crowded that night, and the fat
3113 Jew manager who met them at the door was beaming from ear to ear with
3114 an oily tremulous smile. He escorted them to their box with a sort of
3115 pompous humility, waving his fat jewelled hands and talking at the top
3116 of his voice. Dorian Gray loathed him more than ever. He felt as if
3117 he had come to look for Miranda and had been met by Caliban. Lord
3118 Henry, upon the other hand, rather liked him. At least he declared he
3119 did, and insisted on shaking him by the hand and assuring him that he
3120 was proud to meet a man who had discovered a real genius and gone
3121 bankrupt over a poet. Hallward amused himself with watching the faces
3122 in the pit. The heat was terribly oppressive, and the huge sunlight
3123 flamed like a monstrous dahlia with petals of yellow fire. The youths
3124 in the gallery had taken off their coats and waistcoats and hung them
3125 over the side. They talked to each other across the theatre and shared
3126 their oranges with the tawdry girls who sat beside them. Some women
3127 were laughing in the pit. Their voices were horribly shrill and
3128 discordant. The sound of the popping of corks came from the bar.
3129
3130 "What a place to find one's divinity in!" said Lord Henry.
3131
3132 "Yes!" answered Dorian Gray. "It was here I found her, and she is
3133 divine beyond all living things. When she acts, you will forget
3134 everything. These common rough people, with their coarse faces and
3135 brutal gestures, become quite different when she is on the stage. They
3136 sit silently and watch her. They weep and laugh as she wills them to
3137 do. She makes them as responsive as a violin. She spiritualizes them,
3138 and one feels that they are of the same flesh and blood as one's self."
3139
3140 "The same flesh and blood as one's self! Oh, I hope not!" exclaimed
3141 Lord Henry, who was scanning the occupants of the gallery through his
3142 opera-glass.
3143
3144 "Don't pay any attention to him, Dorian," said the painter. "I
3145 understand what you mean, and I believe in this girl. Any one you love
3146 must be marvellous, and any girl who has the effect you describe must
3147 be fine and noble. To spiritualize one's age--that is something worth
3148 doing. If this girl can give a soul to those who have lived without
3149 one, if she can create the sense of beauty in people whose lives have
3150 been sordid and ugly, if she can strip them of their selfishness and
3151 lend them tears for sorrows that are not their own, she is worthy of
3152 all your adoration, worthy of the adoration of the world. This
3153 marriage is quite right. I did not think so at first, but I admit it
3154 now. The gods made Sibyl Vane for you. Without her you would have
3155 been incomplete."
3156
3157 "Thanks, Basil," answered Dorian Gray, pressing his hand. "I knew that
3158 you would understand me. Harry is so cynical, he terrifies me. But
3159 here is the orchestra. It is quite dreadful, but it only lasts for
3160 about five minutes. Then the curtain rises, and you will see the girl
3161 to whom I am going to give all my life, to whom I have given everything
3162 that is good in me."
3163
3164 A quarter of an hour afterwards, amidst an extraordinary turmoil of
3165 applause, Sibyl Vane stepped on to the stage. Yes, she was certainly
3166 lovely to look at--one of the loveliest creatures, Lord Henry thought,
3167 that he had ever seen. There was something of the fawn in her shy
3168 grace and startled eyes. A faint blush, like the shadow of a rose in a
3169 mirror of silver, came to her cheeks as she glanced at the crowded
3170 enthusiastic house. She stepped back a few paces and her lips seemed
3171 to tremble. Basil Hallward leaped to his feet and began to applaud.
3172 Motionless, and as one in a dream, sat Dorian Gray, gazing at her.
3173 Lord Henry peered through his glasses, murmuring, "Charming! charming!"
3174
3175 The scene was the hall of Capulet's house, and Romeo in his pilgrim's
3176 dress had entered with Mercutio and his other friends. The band, such
3177 as it was, struck up a few bars of music, and the dance began. Through
3178 the crowd of ungainly, shabbily dressed actors, Sibyl Vane moved like a
3179 creature from a finer world. Her body swayed, while she danced, as a
3180 plant sways in the water. The curves of her throat were the curves of
3181 a white lily. Her hands seemed to be made of cool ivory.
3182
3183 Yet she was curiously listless. She showed no sign of joy when her
3184 eyes rested on Romeo. The few words she had to speak--
3185
3186 Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much,
3187 Which mannerly devotion shows in this;
3188 For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch,
3189 And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss--
3190
3191 with the brief dialogue that follows, were spoken in a thoroughly
3192 artificial manner. The voice was exquisite, but from the point of view
3193 of tone it was absolutely false. It was wrong in colour. It took away
3194 all the life from the verse. It made the passion unreal.
3195
3196 Dorian Gray grew pale as he watched her. He was puzzled and anxious.
3197 Neither of his friends dared to say anything to him. She seemed to
3198 them to be absolutely incompetent. They were horribly disappointed.
3199
3200 Yet they felt that the true test of any Juliet is the balcony scene of
3201 the second act. They waited for that. If she failed there, there was
3202 nothing in her.
3203
3204 She looked charming as she came out in the moonlight. That could not
3205 be denied. But the staginess of her acting was unbearable, and grew
3206 worse as she went on. Her gestures became absurdly artificial. She
3207 overemphasized everything that she had to say. The beautiful passage--
3208
3209 Thou knowest the mask of night is on my face,
3210 Else would a maiden blush bepaint my cheek
3211 For that which thou hast heard me speak to-night--
3212
3213 was declaimed with the painful precision of a schoolgirl who has been
3214 taught to recite by some second-rate professor of elocution. When she
3215 leaned over the balcony and came to those wonderful lines--
3216
3217 Although I joy in thee,
3218 I have no joy of this contract to-night:
3219 It is too rash, too unadvised, too sudden;
3220 Too like the lightning, which doth cease to be
3221 Ere one can say, "It lightens." Sweet, good-night!
3222 This bud of love by summer's ripening breath
3223 May prove a beauteous flower when next we meet--
3224
3225 she spoke the words as though they conveyed no meaning to her. It was
3226 not nervousness. Indeed, so far from being nervous, she was absolutely
3227 self-contained. It was simply bad art. She was a complete failure.
3228
3229 Even the common uneducated audience of the pit and gallery lost their
3230 interest in the play. They got restless, and began to talk loudly and
3231 to whistle. The Jew manager, who was standing at the back of the
3232 dress-circle, stamped and swore with rage. The only person unmoved was
3233 the girl herself.
3234
3235 When the second act was over, there came a storm of hisses, and Lord
3236 Henry got up from his chair and put on his coat. "She is quite
3237 beautiful, Dorian," he said, "but she can't act. Let us go."
3238
3239 "I am going to see the play through," answered the lad, in a hard
3240 bitter voice. "I am awfully sorry that I have made you waste an
3241 evening, Harry. I apologize to you both."
3242
3243 "My dear Dorian, I should think Miss Vane was ill," interrupted
3244 Hallward. "We will come some other night."
3245
3246 "I wish she were ill," he rejoined. "But she seems to me to be simply
3247 callous and cold. She has entirely altered. Last night she was a
3248 great artist. This evening she is merely a commonplace mediocre
3249 actress."
3250
3251 "Don't talk like that about any one you love, Dorian. Love is a more
3252 wonderful thing than art."
3253
3254 "They are both simply forms of imitation," remarked Lord Henry. "But
3255 do let us go. Dorian, you must not stay here any longer. It is not
3256 good for one's morals to see bad acting. Besides, I don't suppose you
3257 will want your wife to act, so what does it matter if she plays Juliet
3258 like a wooden doll? She is very lovely, and if she knows as little
3259 about life as she does about acting, she will be a delightful
3260 experience. There are only two kinds of people who are really
3261 fascinating--people who know absolutely everything, and people who know
3262 absolutely nothing. Good heavens, my dear boy, don't look so tragic!
3263 The secret of remaining young is never to have an emotion that is
3264 unbecoming. Come to the club with Basil and myself. We will smoke
3265 cigarettes and drink to the beauty of Sibyl Vane. She is beautiful.
3266 What more can you want?"
3267
3268 "Go away, Harry," cried the lad. "I want to be alone. Basil, you must
3269 go. Ah! can't you see that my heart is breaking?" The hot tears came
3270 to his eyes. His lips trembled, and rushing to the back of the box, he
3271 leaned up against the wall, hiding his face in his hands.
3272
3273 "Let us go, Basil," said Lord Henry with a strange tenderness in his
3274 voice, and the two young men passed out together.
3275
3276 A few moments afterwards the footlights flared up and the curtain rose
3277 on the third act. Dorian Gray went back to his seat. He looked pale,
3278 and proud, and indifferent. The play dragged on, and seemed
3279 interminable. Half of the audience went out, tramping in heavy boots
3280 and laughing. The whole thing was a _fiasco_. The last act was played
3281 to almost empty benches. The curtain went down on a titter and some
3282 groans.
3283
3284 As soon as it was over, Dorian Gray rushed behind the scenes into the
3285 greenroom. The girl was standing there alone, with a look of triumph
3286 on her face. Her eyes were lit with an exquisite fire. There was a
3287 radiance about her. Her parted lips were smiling over some secret of
3288 their own.
3289
3290 When he entered, she looked at him, and an expression of infinite joy
3291 came over her. "How badly I acted to-night, Dorian!" she cried.
3292
3293 "Horribly!" he answered, gazing at her in amazement. "Horribly! It
3294 was dreadful. Are you ill? You have no idea what it was. You have no
3295 idea what I suffered."
3296
3297 The girl smiled. "Dorian," she answered, lingering over his name with
3298 long-drawn music in her voice, as though it were sweeter than honey to
3299 the red petals of her mouth. "Dorian, you should have understood. But
3300 you understand now, don't you?"
3301
3302 "Understand what?" he asked, angrily.
3303
3304 "Why I was so bad to-night. Why I shall always be bad. Why I shall
3305 never act well again."
3306
3307 He shrugged his shoulders. "You are ill, I suppose. When you are ill
3308 you shouldn't act. You make yourself ridiculous. My friends were
3309 bored. I was bored."
3310
3311 She seemed not to listen to him. She was transfigured with joy. An
3312 ecstasy of happiness dominated her.
3313
3314 "Dorian, Dorian," she cried, "before I knew you, acting was the one
3315 reality of my life. It was only in the theatre that I lived. I
3316 thought that it was all true. I was Rosalind one night and Portia the
3317 other. The joy of Beatrice was my joy, and the sorrows of Cordelia
3318 were mine also. I believed in everything. The common people who acted
3319 with me seemed to me to be godlike. The painted scenes were my world.
3320 I knew nothing but shadows, and I thought them real. You came--oh, my
3321 beautiful love!--and you freed my soul from prison. You taught me what
3322 reality really is. To-night, for the first time in my life, I saw
3323 through the hollowness, the sham, the silliness of the empty pageant in
3324 which I had always played. To-night, for the first time, I became
3325 conscious that the Romeo was hideous, and old, and painted, that the
3326 moonlight in the orchard was false, that the scenery was vulgar, and
3327 that the words I had to speak were unreal, were not my words, were not
3328 what I wanted to say. You had brought me something higher, something
3329 of which all art is but a reflection. You had made me understand what
3330 love really is. My love! My love! Prince Charming! Prince of life!
3331 I have grown sick of shadows. You are more to me than all art can ever
3332 be. What have I to do with the puppets of a play? When I came on
3333 to-night, I could not understand how it was that everything had gone
3334 from me. I thought that I was going to be wonderful. I found that I
3335 could do nothing. Suddenly it dawned on my soul what it all meant.
3336 The knowledge was exquisite to me. I heard them hissing, and I smiled.
3337 What could they know of love such as ours? Take me away, Dorian--take
3338 me away with you, where we can be quite alone. I hate the stage. I
3339 might mimic a passion that I do not feel, but I cannot mimic one that
3340 burns me like fire. Oh, Dorian, Dorian, you understand now what it
3341 signifies? Even if I could do it, it would be profanation for me to
3342 play at being in love. You have made me see that."
3343
3344 He flung himself down on the sofa and turned away his face. "You have
3345 killed my love," he muttered.
3346
3347 She looked at him in wonder and laughed. He made no answer. She came
3348 across to him, and with her little fingers stroked his hair. She knelt
3349 down and pressed his hands to her lips. He drew them away, and a
3350 shudder ran through him.
3351
3352 Then he leaped up and went to the door. "Yes," he cried, "you have
3353 killed my love. You used to stir my imagination. Now you don't even
3354 stir my curiosity. You simply produce no effect. I loved you because
3355 you were marvellous, because you had genius and intellect, because you
3356 realized the dreams of great poets and gave shape and substance to the
3357 shadows of art. You have thrown it all away. You are shallow and
3358 stupid. My God! how mad I was to love you! What a fool I have been!
3359 You are nothing to me now. I will never see you again. I will never
3360 think of you. I will never mention your name. You don't know what you
3361 were to me, once. Why, once ... Oh, I can't bear to think of it! I
3362 wish I had never laid eyes upon you! You have spoiled the romance of
3363 my life. How little you can know of love, if you say it mars your art!
3364 Without your art, you are nothing. I would have made you famous,
3365 splendid, magnificent. The world would have worshipped you, and you
3366 would have borne my name. What are you now? A third-rate actress with
3367 a pretty face."
3368
3369 The girl grew white, and trembled. She clenched her hands together,
3370 and her voice seemed to catch in her throat. "You are not serious,
3371 Dorian?" she murmured. "You are acting."
3372
3373 "Acting! I leave that to you. You do it so well," he answered
3374 bitterly.
3375
3376 She rose from her knees and, with a piteous expression of pain in her
3377 face, came across the room to him. She put her hand upon his arm and
3378 looked into his eyes. He thrust her back. "Don't touch me!" he cried.
3379
3380 A low moan broke from her, and she flung herself at his feet and lay
3381 there like a trampled flower. "Dorian, Dorian, don't leave me!" she
3382 whispered. "I am so sorry I didn't act well. I was thinking of you
3383 all the time. But I will try--indeed, I will try. It came so suddenly
3384 across me, my love for you. I think I should never have known it if
3385 you had not kissed me--if we had not kissed each other. Kiss me again,
3386 my love. Don't go away from me. I couldn't bear it. Oh! don't go
3387 away from me. My brother ... No; never mind. He didn't mean it. He
3388 was in jest.... But you, oh! can't you forgive me for to-night? I will
3389 work so hard and try to improve. Don't be cruel to me, because I love
3390 you better than anything in the world. After all, it is only once that
3391 I have not pleased you. But you are quite right, Dorian. I should
3392 have shown myself more of an artist. It was foolish of me, and yet I
3393 couldn't help it. Oh, don't leave me, don't leave me." A fit of
3394 passionate sobbing choked her. She crouched on the floor like a
3395 wounded thing, and Dorian Gray, with his beautiful eyes, looked down at
3396 her, and his chiselled lips curled in exquisite disdain. There is
3397 always something ridiculous about the emotions of people whom one has
3398 ceased to love. Sibyl Vane seemed to him to be absurdly melodramatic.
3399 Her tears and sobs annoyed him.
3400
3401 "I am going," he said at last in his calm clear voice. "I don't wish
3402 to be unkind, but I can't see you again. You have disappointed me."
3403
3404 She wept silently, and made no answer, but crept nearer. Her little
3405 hands stretched blindly out, and appeared to be seeking for him. He
3406 turned on his heel and left the room. In a few moments he was out of
3407 the theatre.
3408
3409 Where he went to he hardly knew. He remembered wandering through dimly
3410 lit streets, past gaunt, black-shadowed archways and evil-looking
3411 houses. Women with hoarse voices and harsh laughter had called after
3412 him. Drunkards had reeled by, cursing and chattering to themselves
3413 like monstrous apes. He had seen grotesque children huddled upon
3414 door-steps, and heard shrieks and oaths from gloomy courts.
3415
3416 As the dawn was just breaking, he found himself close to Covent Garden.
3417 The darkness lifted, and, flushed with faint fires, the sky hollowed
3418 itself into a perfect pearl. Huge carts filled with nodding lilies
3419 rumbled slowly down the polished empty street. The air was heavy with
3420 the perfume of the flowers, and their beauty seemed to bring him an
3421 anodyne for his pain. He followed into the market and watched the men
3422 unloading their waggons. A white-smocked carter offered him some
3423 cherries. He thanked him, wondered why he refused to accept any money
3424 for them, and began to eat them listlessly. They had been plucked at
3425 midnight, and the coldness of the moon had entered into them. A long
3426 line of boys carrying crates of striped tulips, and of yellow and red
3427 roses, defiled in front of him, threading their way through the huge,
3428 jade-green piles of vegetables. Under the portico, with its grey,
3429 sun-bleached pillars, loitered a troop of draggled bareheaded girls,
3430 waiting for the auction to be over. Others crowded round the swinging
3431 doors of the coffee-house in the piazza. The heavy cart-horses slipped
3432 and stamped upon the rough stones, shaking their bells and trappings.
3433 Some of the drivers were lying asleep on a pile of sacks. Iris-necked
3434 and pink-footed, the pigeons ran about picking up seeds.
3435
3436 After a little while, he hailed a hansom and drove home. For a few
3437 moments he loitered upon the doorstep, looking round at the silent
3438 square, with its blank, close-shuttered windows and its staring blinds.
3439 The sky was pure opal now, and the roofs of the houses glistened like
3440 silver against it. From some chimney opposite a thin wreath of smoke
3441 was rising. It curled, a violet riband, through the nacre-coloured air.
3442
3443 In the huge gilt Venetian lantern, spoil of some Doge's barge, that
3444 hung from the ceiling of the great, oak-panelled hall of entrance,
3445 lights were still burning from three flickering jets: thin blue petals
3446 of flame they seemed, rimmed with white fire. He turned them out and,
3447 having thrown his hat and cape on the table, passed through the library
3448 towards the door of his bedroom, a large octagonal chamber on the
3449 ground floor that, in his new-born feeling for luxury, he had just had
3450 decorated for himself and hung with some curious Renaissance tapestries
3451 that had been discovered stored in a disused attic at Selby Royal. As
3452 he was turning the handle of the door, his eye fell upon the portrait
3453 Basil Hallward had painted of him. He started back as if in surprise.
3454 Then he went on into his own room, looking somewhat puzzled. After he
3455 had taken the button-hole out of his coat, he seemed to hesitate.
3456 Finally, he came back, went over to the picture, and examined it. In
3457 the dim arrested light that struggled through the cream-coloured silk
3458 blinds, the face appeared to him to be a little changed. The
3459 expression looked different. One would have said that there was a
3460 touch of cruelty in the mouth. It was certainly strange.
3461
3462 He turned round and, walking to the window, drew up the blind. The
3463 bright dawn flooded the room and swept the fantastic shadows into dusky
3464 corners, where they lay shuddering. But the strange expression that he
3465 had noticed in the face of the portrait seemed to linger there, to be
3466 more intensified even. The quivering ardent sunlight showed him the
3467 lines of cruelty round the mouth as clearly as if he had been looking
3468 into a mirror after he had done some dreadful thing.
3469
3470 He winced and, taking up from the table an oval glass framed in ivory
3471 Cupids, one of Lord Henry's many presents to him, glanced hurriedly
3472 into its polished depths. No line like that warped his red lips. What
3473 did it mean?
3474
3475 He rubbed his eyes, and came close to the picture, and examined it
3476 again. There were no signs of any change when he looked into the
3477 actual painting, and yet there was no doubt that the whole expression
3478 had altered. It was not a mere fancy of his own. The thing was
3479 horribly apparent.
3480
3481 He threw himself into a chair and began to think. Suddenly there
3482 flashed across his mind what he had said in Basil Hallward's studio the
3483 day the picture had been finished. Yes, he remembered it perfectly.
3484 He had uttered a mad wish that he himself might remain young, and the
3485 portrait grow old; that his own beauty might be untarnished, and the
3486 face on the canvas bear the burden of his passions and his sins; that
3487 the painted image might be seared with the lines of suffering and
3488 thought, and that he might keep all the delicate bloom and loveliness
3489 of his then just conscious boyhood. Surely his wish had not been
3490 fulfilled? Such things were impossible. It seemed monstrous even to
3491 think of them. And, yet, there was the picture before him, with the
3492 touch of cruelty in the mouth.
3493
3494 Cruelty! Had he been cruel? It was the girl's fault, not his. He had
3495 dreamed of her as a great artist, had given his love to her because he
3496 had thought her great. Then she had disappointed him. She had been
3497 shallow and unworthy. And, yet, a feeling of infinite regret came over
3498 him, as he thought of her lying at his feet sobbing like a little
3499 child. He remembered with what callousness he had watched her. Why
3500 had he been made like that? Why had such a soul been given to him?
3501 But he had suffered also. During the three terrible hours that the
3502 play had lasted, he had lived centuries of pain, aeon upon aeon of
3503 torture. His life was well worth hers. She had marred him for a
3504 moment, if he had wounded her for an age. Besides, women were better
3505 suited to bear sorrow than men. They lived on their emotions. They
3506 only thought of their emotions. When they took lovers, it was merely
3507 to have some one with whom they could have scenes. Lord Henry had told
3508 him that, and Lord Henry knew what women were. Why should he trouble
3509 about Sibyl Vane? She was nothing to him now.
3510
3511 But the picture? What was he to say of that? It held the secret of
3512 his life, and told his story. It had taught him to love his own
3513 beauty. Would it teach him to loathe his own soul? Would he ever look
3514 at it again?
3515
3516 No; it was merely an illusion wrought on the troubled senses. The
3517 horrible night that he had passed had left phantoms behind it.
3518 Suddenly there had fallen upon his brain that tiny scarlet speck that
3519 makes men mad. The picture had not changed. It was folly to think so.
3520
3521 Yet it was watching him, with its beautiful marred face and its cruel
3522 smile. Its bright hair gleamed in the early sunlight. Its blue eyes
3523 met his own. A sense of infinite pity, not for himself, but for the
3524 painted image of himself, came over him. It had altered already, and
3525 would alter more. Its gold would wither into grey. Its red and white
3526 roses would die. For every sin that he committed, a stain would fleck
3527 and wreck its fairness. But he would not sin. The picture, changed or
3528 unchanged, would be to him the visible emblem of conscience. He would
3529 resist temptation. He would not see Lord Henry any more--would not, at
3530 any rate, listen to those subtle poisonous theories that in Basil
3531 Hallward's garden had first stirred within him the passion for
3532 impossible things. He would go back to Sibyl Vane, make her amends,
3533 marry her, try to love her again. Yes, it was his duty to do so. She
3534 must have suffered more than he had. Poor child! He had been selfish
3535 and cruel to her. The fascination that she had exercised over him
3536 would return. They would be happy together. His life with her would
3537 be beautiful and pure.
3538
3539 He got up from his chair and drew a large screen right in front of the
3540 portrait, shuddering as he glanced at it. "How horrible!" he murmured
3541 to himself, and he walked across to the window and opened it. When he
3542 stepped out on to the grass, he drew a deep breath. The fresh morning
3543 air seemed to drive away all his sombre passions. He thought only of
3544 Sibyl. A faint echo of his love came back to him. He repeated her
3545 name over and over again. The birds that were singing in the
3546 dew-drenched garden seemed to be telling the flowers about her.
3547
3548
3549
3550 CHAPTER 8
3551
3552 It was long past noon when he awoke. His valet had crept several times
3553 on tiptoe into the room to see if he was stirring, and had wondered
3554 what made his young master sleep so late. Finally his bell sounded,
3555 and Victor came in softly with a cup of tea, and a pile of letters, on
3556 a small tray of old Sevres china, and drew back the olive-satin
3557 curtains, with their shimmering blue lining, that hung in front of the
3558 three tall windows.
3559
3560 "Monsieur has well slept this morning," he said, smiling.
3561
3562 "What o'clock is it, Victor?" asked Dorian Gray drowsily.
3563
3564 "One hour and a quarter, Monsieur."
3565
3566 How late it was! He sat up, and having sipped some tea, turned over
3567 his letters. One of them was from Lord Henry, and had been brought by
3568 hand that morning. He hesitated for a moment, and then put it aside.
3569 The others he opened listlessly. They contained the usual collection
3570 of cards, invitations to dinner, tickets for private views, programmes
3571 of charity concerts, and the like that are showered on fashionable
3572 young men every morning during the season. There was a rather heavy
3573 bill for a chased silver Louis-Quinze toilet-set that he had not yet
3574 had the courage to send on to his guardians, who were extremely
3575 old-fashioned people and did not realize that we live in an age when
3576 unnecessary things are our only necessities; and there were several
3577 very courteously worded communications from Jermyn Street money-lenders
3578 offering to advance any sum of money at a moment's notice and at the
3579 most reasonable rates of interest.
3580
3581 After about ten minutes he got up, and throwing on an elaborate
3582 dressing-gown of silk-embroidered cashmere wool, passed into the
3583 onyx-paved bathroom. The cool water refreshed him after his long
3584 sleep. He seemed to have forgotten all that he had gone through. A
3585 dim sense of having taken part in some strange tragedy came to him once
3586 or twice, but there was the unreality of a dream about it.
3587
3588 As soon as he was dressed, he went into the library and sat down to a
3589 light French breakfast that had been laid out for him on a small round
3590 table close to the open window. It was an exquisite day. The warm air
3591 seemed laden with spices. A bee flew in and buzzed round the
3592 blue-dragon bowl that, filled with sulphur-yellow roses, stood before
3593 him. He felt perfectly happy.
3594
3595 Suddenly his eye fell on the screen that he had placed in front of the
3596 portrait, and he started.
3597
3598 "Too cold for Monsieur?" asked his valet, putting an omelette on the
3599 table. "I shut the window?"
3600
3601 Dorian shook his head. "I am not cold," he murmured.
3602
3603 Was it all true? Had the portrait really changed? Or had it been
3604 simply his own imagination that had made him see a look of evil where
3605 there had been a look of joy? Surely a painted canvas could not alter?
3606 The thing was absurd. It would serve as a tale to tell Basil some day.
3607 It would make him smile.
3608
3609 And, yet, how vivid was his recollection of the whole thing! First in
3610 the dim twilight, and then in the bright dawn, he had seen the touch of
3611 cruelty round the warped lips. He almost dreaded his valet leaving the
3612 room. He knew that when he was alone he would have to examine the
3613 portrait. He was afraid of certainty. When the coffee and cigarettes
3614 had been brought and the man turned to go, he felt a wild desire to
3615 tell him to remain. As the door was closing behind him, he called him
3616 back. The man stood waiting for his orders. Dorian looked at him for
3617 a moment. "I am not at home to any one, Victor," he said with a sigh.
3618 The man bowed and retired.
3619
3620 Then he rose from the table, lit a cigarette, and flung himself down on
3621 a luxuriously cushioned couch that stood facing the screen. The screen
3622 was an old one, of gilt Spanish leather, stamped and wrought with a
3623 rather florid Louis-Quatorze pattern. He scanned it curiously,
3624 wondering if ever before it had concealed the secret of a man's life.
3625
3626 Should he move it aside, after all? Why not let it stay there? What
3627 was the use of knowing? If the thing was true, it was terrible. If it
3628 was not true, why trouble about it? But what if, by some fate or
3629 deadlier chance, eyes other than his spied behind and saw the horrible
3630 change? What should he do if Basil Hallward came and asked to look at
3631 his own picture? Basil would be sure to do that. No; the thing had to
3632 be examined, and at once. Anything would be better than this dreadful
3633 state of doubt.
3634
3635 He got up and locked both doors. At least he would be alone when he
3636 looked upon the mask of his shame. Then he drew the screen aside and
3637 saw himself face to face. It was perfectly true. The portrait had
3638 altered.
3639
3640 As he often remembered afterwards, and always with no small wonder, he
3641 found himself at first gazing at the portrait with a feeling of almost
3642 scientific interest. That such a change should have taken place was
3643 incredible to him. And yet it was a fact. Was there some subtle
3644 affinity between the chemical atoms that shaped themselves into form
3645 and colour on the canvas and the soul that was within him? Could it be
3646 that what that soul thought, they realized?--that what it dreamed, they
3647 made true? Or was there some other, more terrible reason? He
3648 shuddered, and felt afraid, and, going back to the couch, lay there,
3649 gazing at the picture in sickened horror.
3650
3651 One thing, however, he felt that it had done for him. It had made him
3652 conscious how unjust, how cruel, he had been to Sibyl Vane. It was not
3653 too late to make reparation for that. She could still be his wife.
3654 His unreal and selfish love would yield to some higher influence, would
3655 be transformed into some nobler passion, and the portrait that Basil
3656 Hallward had painted of him would be a guide to him through life, would
3657 be to him what holiness is to some, and conscience to others, and the
3658 fear of God to us all. There were opiates for remorse, drugs that
3659 could lull the moral sense to sleep. But here was a visible symbol of
3660 the degradation of sin. Here was an ever-present sign of the ruin men
3661 brought upon their souls.
3662
3663 Three o'clock struck, and four, and the half-hour rang its double
3664 chime, but Dorian Gray did not stir. He was trying to gather up the
3665 scarlet threads of life and to weave them into a pattern; to find his
3666 way through the sanguine labyrinth of passion through which he was
3667 wandering. He did not know what to do, or what to think. Finally, he
3668 went over to the table and wrote a passionate letter to the girl he had
3669 loved, imploring her forgiveness and accusing himself of madness. He
3670 covered page after page with wild words of sorrow and wilder words of
3671 pain. There is a luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves, we
3672 feel that no one else has a right to blame us. It is the confession,
3673 not the priest, that gives us absolution. When Dorian had finished the
3674 letter, he felt that he had been forgiven.
3675
3676 Suddenly there came a knock to the door, and he heard Lord Henry's
3677 voice outside. "My dear boy, I must see you. Let me in at once. I
3678 can't bear your shutting yourself up like this."
3679
3680 He made no answer at first, but remained quite still. The knocking
3681 still continued and grew louder. Yes, it was better to let Lord Henry
3682 in, and to explain to him the new life he was going to lead, to quarrel
3683 with him if it became necessary to quarrel, to part if parting was
3684 inevitable. He jumped up, drew the screen hastily across the picture,
3685 and unlocked the door.
3686
3687 "I am so sorry for it all, Dorian," said Lord Henry as he entered.
3688 "But you must not think too much about it."
3689
3690 "Do you mean about Sibyl Vane?" asked the lad.
3691
3692 "Yes, of course," answered Lord Henry, sinking into a chair and slowly
3693 pulling off his yellow gloves. "It is dreadful, from one point of
3694 view, but it was not your fault. Tell me, did you go behind and see
3695 her, after the play was over?"
3696
3697 "Yes."
3698
3699 "I felt sure you had. Did you make a scene with her?"
3700
3701 "I was brutal, Harry--perfectly brutal. But it is all right now. I am
3702 not sorry for anything that has happened. It has taught me to know
3703 myself better."
3704
3705 "Ah, Dorian, I am so glad you take it in that way! I was afraid I
3706 would find you plunged in remorse and tearing that nice curly hair of
3707 yours."
3708
3709 "I have got through all that," said Dorian, shaking his head and
3710 smiling. "I am perfectly happy now. I know what conscience is, to
3711 begin with. It is not what you told me it was. It is the divinest
3712 thing in us. Don't sneer at it, Harry, any more--at least not before
3713 me. I want to be good. I can't bear the idea of my soul being
3714 hideous."
3715
3716 "A very charming artistic basis for ethics, Dorian! I congratulate you
3717 on it. But how are you going to begin?"
3718
3719 "By marrying Sibyl Vane."
3720
3721 "Marrying Sibyl Vane!" cried Lord Henry, standing up and looking at him
3722 in perplexed amazement. "But, my dear Dorian--"
3723
3724 "Yes, Harry, I know what you are going to say. Something dreadful
3725 about marriage. Don't say it. Don't ever say things of that kind to
3726 me again. Two days ago I asked Sibyl to marry me. I am not going to
3727 break my word to her. She is to be my wife."
3728
3729 "Your wife! Dorian! ... Didn't you get my letter? I wrote to you this
3730 morning, and sent the note down by my own man."
3731
3732 "Your letter? Oh, yes, I remember. I have not read it yet, Harry. I
3733 was afraid there might be something in it that I wouldn't like. You
3734 cut life to pieces with your epigrams."
3735
3736 "You know nothing then?"
3737
3738 "What do you mean?"
3739
3740 Lord Henry walked across the room, and sitting down by Dorian Gray,
3741 took both his hands in his own and held them tightly. "Dorian," he
3742 said, "my letter--don't be frightened--was to tell you that Sibyl Vane
3743 is dead."
3744
3745 A cry of pain broke from the lad's lips, and he leaped to his feet,
3746 tearing his hands away from Lord Henry's grasp. "Dead! Sibyl dead!
3747 It is not true! It is a horrible lie! How dare you say it?"
3748
3749 "It is quite true, Dorian," said Lord Henry, gravely. "It is in all
3750 the morning papers. I wrote down to you to ask you not to see any one
3751 till I came. There will have to be an inquest, of course, and you must
3752 not be mixed up in it. Things like that make a man fashionable in
3753 Paris. But in London people are so prejudiced. Here, one should never
3754 make one's _debut_ with a scandal. One should reserve that to give an
3755 interest to one's old age. I suppose they don't know your name at the
3756 theatre? If they don't, it is all right. Did any one see you going
3757 round to her room? That is an important point."
3758
3759 Dorian did not answer for a few moments. He was dazed with horror.
3760 Finally he stammered, in a stifled voice, "Harry, did you say an
3761 inquest? What did you mean by that? Did Sibyl--? Oh, Harry, I can't
3762 bear it! But be quick. Tell me everything at once."
3763
3764 "I have no doubt it was not an accident, Dorian, though it must be put
3765 in that way to the public. It seems that as she was leaving the
3766 theatre with her mother, about half-past twelve or so, she said she had
3767 forgotten something upstairs. They waited some time for her, but she
3768 did not come down again. They ultimately found her lying dead on the
3769 floor of her dressing-room. She had swallowed something by mistake,
3770 some dreadful thing they use at theatres. I don't know what it was,
3771 but it had either prussic acid or white lead in it. I should fancy it
3772 was prussic acid, as she seems to have died instantaneously."
3773
3774 "Harry, Harry, it is terrible!" cried the lad.
3775
3776 "Yes; it is very tragic, of course, but you must not get yourself mixed
3777 up in it. I see by _The Standard_ that she was seventeen. I should have
3778 thought she was almost younger than that. She looked such a child, and
3779 seemed to know so little about acting. Dorian, you mustn't let this
3780 thing get on your nerves. You must come and dine with me, and
3781 afterwards we will look in at the opera. It is a Patti night, and
3782 everybody will be there. You can come to my sister's box. She has got
3783 some smart women with her."
3784
3785 "So I have murdered Sibyl Vane," said Dorian Gray, half to himself,
3786 "murdered her as surely as if I had cut her little throat with a knife.
3787 Yet the roses are not less lovely for all that. The birds sing just as
3788 happily in my garden. And to-night I am to dine with you, and then go
3789 on to the opera, and sup somewhere, I suppose, afterwards. How
3790 extraordinarily dramatic life is! If I had read all this in a book,
3791 Harry, I think I would have wept over it. Somehow, now that it has
3792 happened actually, and to me, it seems far too wonderful for tears.
3793 Here is the first passionate love-letter I have ever written in my
3794 life. Strange, that my first passionate love-letter should have been
3795 addressed to a dead girl. Can they feel, I wonder, those white silent
3796 people we call the dead? Sibyl! Can she feel, or know, or listen?
3797 Oh, Harry, how I loved her once! It seems years ago to me now. She
3798 was everything to me. Then came that dreadful night--was it really
3799 only last night?--when she played so badly, and my heart almost broke.
3800 She explained it all to me. It was terribly pathetic. But I was not
3801 moved a bit. I thought her shallow. Suddenly something happened that
3802 made me afraid. I can't tell you what it was, but it was terrible. I
3803 said I would go back to her. I felt I had done wrong. And now she is
3804 dead. My God! My God! Harry, what shall I do? You don't know the
3805 danger I am in, and there is nothing to keep me straight. She would
3806 have done that for me. She had no right to kill herself. It was
3807 selfish of her."
3808
3809 "My dear Dorian," answered Lord Henry, taking a cigarette from his case
3810 and producing a gold-latten matchbox, "the only way a woman can ever
3811 reform a man is by boring him so completely that he loses all possible
3812 interest in life. If you had married this girl, you would have been
3813 wretched. Of course, you would have treated her kindly. One can
3814 always be kind to people about whom one cares nothing. But she would
3815 have soon found out that you were absolutely indifferent to her. And
3816 when a woman finds that out about her husband, she either becomes
3817 dreadfully dowdy, or wears very smart bonnets that some other woman's
3818 husband has to pay for. I say nothing about the social mistake, which
3819 would have been abject--which, of course, I would not have allowed--but
3820 I assure you that in any case the whole thing would have been an
3821 absolute failure."
3822
3823 "I suppose it would," muttered the lad, walking up and down the room
3824 and looking horribly pale. "But I thought it was my duty. It is not
3825 my fault that this terrible tragedy has prevented my doing what was
3826 right. I remember your saying once that there is a fatality about good
3827 resolutions--that they are always made too late. Mine certainly were."
3828
3829 "Good resolutions are useless attempts to interfere with scientific
3830 laws. Their origin is pure vanity. Their result is absolutely _nil_.
3831 They give us, now and then, some of those luxurious sterile emotions
3832 that have a certain charm for the weak. That is all that can be said
3833 for them. They are simply cheques that men draw on a bank where they
3834 have no account."
3835
3836 "Harry," cried Dorian Gray, coming over and sitting down beside him,
3837 "why is it that I cannot feel this tragedy as much as I want to? I
3838 don't think I am heartless. Do you?"
3839
3840 "You have done too many foolish things during the last fortnight to be
3841 entitled to give yourself that name, Dorian," answered Lord Henry with
3842 his sweet melancholy smile.
3843
3844 The lad frowned. "I don't like that explanation, Harry," he rejoined,
3845 "but I am glad you don't think I am heartless. I am nothing of the
3846 kind. I know I am not. And yet I must admit that this thing that has
3847 happened does not affect me as it should. It seems to me to be simply
3848 like a wonderful ending to a wonderful play. It has all the terrible
3849 beauty of a Greek tragedy, a tragedy in which I took a great part, but
3850 by which I have not been wounded."
3851
3852 "It is an interesting question," said Lord Henry, who found an
3853 exquisite pleasure in playing on the lad's unconscious egotism, "an
3854 extremely interesting question. I fancy that the true explanation is
3855 this: It often happens that the real tragedies of life occur in such
3856 an inartistic manner that they hurt us by their crude violence, their
3857 absolute incoherence, their absurd want of meaning, their entire lack
3858 of style. They affect us just as vulgarity affects us. They give us
3859 an impression of sheer brute force, and we revolt against that.
3860 Sometimes, however, a tragedy that possesses artistic elements of
3861 beauty crosses our lives. If these elements of beauty are real, the
3862 whole thing simply appeals to our sense of dramatic effect. Suddenly
3863 we find that we are no longer the actors, but the spectators of the
3864 play. Or rather we are both. We watch ourselves, and the mere wonder
3865 of the spectacle enthralls us. In the present case, what is it that
3866 has really happened? Some one has killed herself for love of you. I
3867 wish that I had ever had such an experience. It would have made me in
3868 love with love for the rest of my life. The people who have adored
3869 me--there have not been very many, but there have been some--have
3870 always insisted on living on, long after I had ceased to care for them,
3871 or they to care for me. They have become stout and tedious, and when I
3872 meet them, they go in at once for reminiscences. That awful memory of
3873 woman! What a fearful thing it is! And what an utter intellectual
3874 stagnation it reveals! One should absorb the colour of life, but one
3875 should never remember its details. Details are always vulgar."
3876
3877 "I must sow poppies in my garden," sighed Dorian.
3878
3879 "There is no necessity," rejoined his companion. "Life has always
3880 poppies in her hands. Of course, now and then things linger. I once
3881 wore nothing but violets all through one season, as a form of artistic
3882 mourning for a romance that would not die. Ultimately, however, it did
3883 die. I forget what killed it. I think it was her proposing to
3884 sacrifice the whole world for me. That is always a dreadful moment.
3885 It fills one with the terror of eternity. Well--would you believe
3886 it?--a week ago, at Lady Hampshire's, I found myself seated at dinner
3887 next the lady in question, and she insisted on going over the whole
3888 thing again, and digging up the past, and raking up the future. I had
3889 buried my romance in a bed of asphodel. She dragged it out again and
3890 assured me that I had spoiled her life. I am bound to state that she
3891 ate an enormous dinner, so I did not feel any anxiety. But what a lack
3892 of taste she showed! The one charm of the past is that it is the past.
3893 But women never know when the curtain has fallen. They always want a
3894 sixth act, and as soon as the interest of the play is entirely over,
3895 they propose to continue it. If they were allowed their own way, every
3896 comedy would have a tragic ending, and every tragedy would culminate in
3897 a farce. They are charmingly artificial, but they have no sense of
3898 art. You are more fortunate than I am. I assure you, Dorian, that not
3899 one of the women I have known would have done for me what Sibyl Vane
3900 did for you. Ordinary women always console themselves. Some of them
3901 do it by going in for sentimental colours. Never trust a woman who
3902 wears mauve, whatever her age may be, or a woman over thirty-five who
3903 is fond of pink ribbons. It always means that they have a history.
3904 Others find a great consolation in suddenly discovering the good
3905 qualities of their husbands. They flaunt their conjugal felicity in
3906 one's face, as if it were the most fascinating of sins. Religion
3907 consoles some. Its mysteries have all the charm of a flirtation, a
3908 woman once told me, and I can quite understand it. Besides, nothing
3909 makes one so vain as being told that one is a sinner. Conscience makes
3910 egotists of us all. Yes; there is really no end to the consolations
3911 that women find in modern life. Indeed, I have not mentioned the most
3912 important one."
3913
3914 "What is that, Harry?" said the lad listlessly.
3915
3916 "Oh, the obvious consolation. Taking some one else's admirer when one
3917 loses one's own. In good society that always whitewashes a woman. But
3918 really, Dorian, how different Sibyl Vane must have been from all the
3919 women one meets! There is something to me quite beautiful about her
3920 death. I am glad I am living in a century when such wonders happen.
3921 They make one believe in the reality of the things we all play with,
3922 such as romance, passion, and love."
3923
3924 "I was terribly cruel to her. You forget that."
3925
3926 "I am afraid that women appreciate cruelty, downright cruelty, more
3927 than anything else. They have wonderfully primitive instincts. We
3928 have emancipated them, but they remain slaves looking for their
3929 masters, all the same. They love being dominated. I am sure you were
3930 splendid. I have never seen you really and absolutely angry, but I can
3931 fancy how delightful you looked. And, after all, you said something to
3932 me the day before yesterday that seemed to me at the time to be merely
3933 fanciful, but that I see now was absolutely true, and it holds the key
3934 to everything."
3935
3936 "What was that, Harry?"
3937
3938 "You said to me that Sibyl Vane represented to you all the heroines of
3939 romance--that she was Desdemona one night, and Ophelia the other; that
3940 if she died as Juliet, she came to life as Imogen."
3941
3942 "She will never come to life again now," muttered the lad, burying his
3943 face in his hands.
3944
3945 "No, she will never come to life. She has played her last part. But
3946 you must think of that lonely death in the tawdry dressing-room simply
3947 as a strange lurid fragment from some Jacobean tragedy, as a wonderful
3948 scene from Webster, or Ford, or Cyril Tourneur. The girl never really
3949 lived, and so she has never really died. To you at least she was
3950 always a dream, a phantom that flitted through Shakespeare's plays and
3951 left them lovelier for its presence, a reed through which Shakespeare's
3952 music sounded richer and more full of joy. The moment she touched
3953 actual life, she marred it, and it marred her, and so she passed away.
3954 Mourn for Ophelia, if you like. Put ashes on your head because
3955 Cordelia was strangled. Cry out against Heaven because the daughter of
3956 Brabantio died. But don't waste your tears over Sibyl Vane. She was
3957 less real than they are."
3958
3959 There was a silence. The evening darkened in the room. Noiselessly,
3960 and with silver feet, the shadows crept in from the garden. The
3961 colours faded wearily out of things.
3962
3963 After some time Dorian Gray looked up. "You have explained me to
3964 myself, Harry," he murmured with something of a sigh of relief. "I
3965 felt all that you have said, but somehow I was afraid of it, and I
3966 could not express it to myself. How well you know me! But we will not
3967 talk again of what has happened. It has been a marvellous experience.
3968 That is all. I wonder if life has still in store for me anything as
3969 marvellous."
3970
3971 "Life has everything in store for you, Dorian. There is nothing that
3972 you, with your extraordinary good looks, will not be able to do."
3973
3974 "But suppose, Harry, I became haggard, and old, and wrinkled? What
3975 then?"
3976
3977 "Ah, then," said Lord Henry, rising to go, "then, my dear Dorian, you
3978 would have to fight for your victories. As it is, they are brought to
3979 you. No, you must keep your good looks. We live in an age that reads
3980 too much to be wise, and that thinks too much to be beautiful. We
3981 cannot spare you. And now you had better dress and drive down to the
3982 club. We are rather late, as it is."
3983
3984 "I think I shall join you at the opera, Harry. I feel too tired to eat
3985 anything. What is the number of your sister's box?"
3986
3987 "Twenty-seven, I believe. It is on the grand tier. You will see her
3988 name on the door. But I am sorry you won't come and dine."
3989
3990 "I don't feel up to it," said Dorian listlessly. "But I am awfully
3991 obliged to you for all that you have said to me. You are certainly my
3992 best friend. No one has ever understood me as you have."
3993
3994 "We are only at the beginning of our friendship, Dorian," answered Lord
3995 Henry, shaking him by the hand. "Good-bye. I shall see you before
3996 nine-thirty, I hope. Remember, Patti is singing."
3997
3998 As he closed the door behind him, Dorian Gray touched the bell, and in
3999 a few minutes Victor appeared with the lamps and drew the blinds down.
4000 He waited impatiently for him to go. The man seemed to take an
4001 interminable time over everything.
4002
4003 As soon as he had left, he rushed to the screen and drew it back. No;
4004 there was no further change in the picture. It had received the news
4005 of Sibyl Vane's death before he had known of it himself. It was
4006 conscious of the events of life as they occurred. The vicious cruelty
4007 that marred the fine lines of the mouth had, no doubt, appeared at the
4008 very moment that the girl had drunk the poison, whatever it was. Or
4009 was it indifferent to results? Did it merely take cognizance of what
4010 passed within the soul? He wondered, and hoped that some day he would
4011 see the change taking place before his very eyes, shuddering as he
4012 hoped it.
4013
4014 Poor Sibyl! What a romance it had all been! She had often mimicked
4015 death on the stage. Then Death himself had touched her and taken her
4016 with him. How had she played that dreadful last scene? Had she cursed
4017 him, as she died? No; she had died for love of him, and love would
4018 always be a sacrament to him now. She had atoned for everything by the
4019 sacrifice she had made of her life. He would not think any more of
4020 what she had made him go through, on that horrible night at the
4021 theatre. When he thought of her, it would be as a wonderful tragic
4022 figure sent on to the world's stage to show the supreme reality of
4023 love. A wonderful tragic figure? Tears came to his eyes as he
4024 remembered her childlike look, and winsome fanciful ways, and shy
4025 tremulous grace. He brushed them away hastily and looked again at the
4026 picture.
4027
4028 He felt that the time had really come for making his choice. Or had
4029 his choice already been made? Yes, life had decided that for
4030 him--life, and his own infinite curiosity about life. Eternal youth,
4031 infinite passion, pleasures subtle and secret, wild joys and wilder
4032 sins--he was to have all these things. The portrait was to bear the
4033 burden of his shame: that was all.
4034
4035 A feeling of pain crept over him as he thought of the desecration that
4036 was in store for the fair face on the canvas. Once, in boyish mockery
4037 of Narcissus, he had kissed, or feigned to kiss, those painted lips
4038 that now smiled so cruelly at him. Morning after morning he had sat
4039 before the portrait wondering at its beauty, almost enamoured of it, as
4040 it seemed to him at times. Was it to alter now with every mood to
4041 which he yielded? Was it to become a monstrous and loathsome thing, to
4042 be hidden away in a locked room, to be shut out from the sunlight that
4043 had so often touched to brighter gold the waving wonder of its hair?
4044 The pity of it! the pity of it!
4045
4046 For a moment, he thought of praying that the horrible sympathy that
4047 existed between him and the picture might cease. It had changed in
4048 answer to a prayer; perhaps in answer to a prayer it might remain
4049 unchanged. And yet, who, that knew anything about life, would
4050 surrender the chance of remaining always young, however fantastic that
4051 chance might be, or with what fateful consequences it might be fraught?
4052 Besides, was it really under his control? Had it indeed been prayer
4053 that had produced the substitution? Might there not be some curious
4054 scientific reason for it all? If thought could exercise its influence
4055 upon a living organism, might not thought exercise an influence upon
4056 dead and inorganic things? Nay, without thought or conscious desire,
4057 might not things external to ourselves vibrate in unison with our moods
4058 and passions, atom calling to atom in secret love or strange affinity?
4059 But the reason was of no importance. He would never again tempt by a
4060 prayer any terrible power. If the picture was to alter, it was to
4061 alter. That was all. Why inquire too closely into it?
4062
4063 For there would be a real pleasure in watching it. He would be able to
4064 follow his mind into its secret places. This portrait would be to him
4065 the most magical of mirrors. As it had revealed to him his own body,
4066 so it would reveal to him his own soul. And when winter came upon it,
4067 he would still be standing where spring trembles on the verge of
4068 summer. When the blood crept from its face, and left behind a pallid
4069 mask of chalk with leaden eyes, he would keep the glamour of boyhood.
4070 Not one blossom of his loveliness would ever fade. Not one pulse of
4071 his life would ever weaken. Like the gods of the Greeks, he would be
4072 strong, and fleet, and joyous. What did it matter what happened to the
4073 coloured image on the canvas? He would be safe. That was everything.
4074
4075 He drew the screen back into its former place in front of the picture,
4076 smiling as he did so, and passed into his bedroom, where his valet was
4077 already waiting for him. An hour later he was at the opera, and Lord
4078 Henry was leaning over his chair.
4079
4080
4081
4082 CHAPTER 9
4083
4084 As he was sitting at breakfast next morning, Basil Hallward was shown
4085 into the room.
4086
4087 "I am so glad I have found you, Dorian," he said gravely. "I called
4088 last night, and they told me you were at the opera. Of course, I knew
4089 that was impossible. But I wish you had left word where you had really
4090 gone to. I passed a dreadful evening, half afraid that one tragedy
4091 might be followed by another. I think you might have telegraphed for
4092 me when you heard of it first. I read of it quite by chance in a late
4093 edition of _The Globe_ that I picked up at the club. I came here at once
4094 and was miserable at not finding you. I can't tell you how
4095 heart-broken I am about the whole thing. I know what you must suffer.
4096 But where were you? Did you go down and see the girl's mother? For a
4097 moment I thought of following you there. They gave the address in the
4098 paper. Somewhere in the Euston Road, isn't it? But I was afraid of
4099 intruding upon a sorrow that I could not lighten. Poor woman! What a
4100 state she must be in! And her only child, too! What did she say about
4101 it all?"
4102
4103 "My dear Basil, how do I know?" murmured Dorian Gray, sipping some
4104 pale-yellow wine from a delicate, gold-beaded bubble of Venetian glass
4105 and looking dreadfully bored. "I was at the opera. You should have
4106 come on there. I met Lady Gwendolen, Harry's sister, for the first
4107 time. We were in her box. She is perfectly charming; and Patti sang
4108 divinely. Don't talk about horrid subjects. If one doesn't talk about
4109 a thing, it has never happened. It is simply expression, as Harry
4110 says, that gives reality to things. I may mention that she was not the
4111 woman's only child. There is a son, a charming fellow, I believe. But
4112 he is not on the stage. He is a sailor, or something. And now, tell
4113 me about yourself and what you are painting."
4114
4115 "You went to the opera?" said Hallward, speaking very slowly and with a
4116 strained touch of pain in his voice. "You went to the opera while
4117 Sibyl Vane was lying dead in some sordid lodging? You can talk to me
4118 of other women being charming, and of Patti singing divinely, before
4119 the girl you loved has even the quiet of a grave to sleep in? Why,
4120 man, there are horrors in store for that little white body of hers!"
4121
4122 "Stop, Basil! I won't hear it!" cried Dorian, leaping to his feet.
4123 "You must not tell me about things. What is done is done. What is
4124 past is past."
4125
4126 "You call yesterday the past?"
4127
4128 "What has the actual lapse of time got to do with it? It is only
4129 shallow people who require years to get rid of an emotion. A man who
4130 is master of himself can end a sorrow as easily as he can invent a
4131 pleasure. I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to
4132 use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them."
4133
4134 "Dorian, this is horrible! Something has changed you completely. You
4135 look exactly the same wonderful boy who, day after day, used to come
4136 down to my studio to sit for his picture. But you were simple,
4137 natural, and affectionate then. You were the most unspoiled creature
4138 in the whole world. Now, I don't know what has come over you. You
4139 talk as if you had no heart, no pity in you. It is all Harry's
4140 influence. I see that."
4141
4142 The lad flushed up and, going to the window, looked out for a few
4143 moments on the green, flickering, sun-lashed garden. "I owe a great
4144 deal to Harry, Basil," he said at last, "more than I owe to you. You
4145 only taught me to be vain."
4146
4147 "Well, I am punished for that, Dorian--or shall be some day."
4148
4149 "I don't know what you mean, Basil," he exclaimed, turning round. "I
4150 don't know what you want. What do you want?"
4151
4152 "I want the Dorian Gray I used to paint," said the artist sadly.
4153
4154 "Basil," said the lad, going over to him and putting his hand on his
4155 shoulder, "you have come too late. Yesterday, when I heard that Sibyl
4156 Vane had killed herself--"
4157
4158 "Killed herself! Good heavens! is there no doubt about that?" cried
4159 Hallward, looking up at him with an expression of horror.
4160
4161 "My dear Basil! Surely you don't think it was a vulgar accident? Of
4162 course she killed herself."
4163
4164 The elder man buried his face in his hands. "How fearful," he
4165 muttered, and a shudder ran through him.
4166
4167 "No," said Dorian Gray, "there is nothing fearful about it. It is one
4168 of the great romantic tragedies of the age. As a rule, people who act
4169 lead the most commonplace lives. They are good husbands, or faithful
4170 wives, or something tedious. You know what I mean--middle-class virtue
4171 and all that kind of thing. How different Sibyl was! She lived her
4172 finest tragedy. She was always a heroine. The last night she
4173 played--the night you saw her--she acted badly because she had known
4174 the reality of love. When she knew its unreality, she died, as Juliet
4175 might have died. She passed again into the sphere of art. There is
4176 something of the martyr about her. Her death has all the pathetic
4177 uselessness of martyrdom, all its wasted beauty. But, as I was saying,
4178 you must not think I have not suffered. If you had come in yesterday
4179 at a particular moment--about half-past five, perhaps, or a quarter to
4180 six--you would have found me in tears. Even Harry, who was here, who
4181 brought me the news, in fact, had no idea what I was going through. I
4182 suffered immensely. Then it passed away. I cannot repeat an emotion.
4183 No one can, except sentimentalists. And you are awfully unjust, Basil.
4184 You come down here to console me. That is charming of you. You find
4185 me consoled, and you are furious. How like a sympathetic person! You
4186 remind me of a story Harry told me about a certain philanthropist who
4187 spent twenty years of his life in trying to get some grievance
4188 redressed, or some unjust law altered--I forget exactly what it was.
4189 Finally he succeeded, and nothing could exceed his disappointment. He
4190 had absolutely nothing to do, almost died of _ennui_, and became a
4191 confirmed misanthrope. And besides, my dear old Basil, if you really
4192 want to console me, teach me rather to forget what has happened, or to
4193 see it from a proper artistic point of view. Was it not Gautier who
4194 used to write about _la consolation des arts_? I remember picking up a
4195 little vellum-covered book in your studio one day and chancing on that
4196 delightful phrase. Well, I am not like that young man you told me of
4197 when we were down at Marlow together, the young man who used to say
4198 that yellow satin could console one for all the miseries of life. I
4199 love beautiful things that one can touch and handle. Old brocades,
4200 green bronzes, lacquer-work, carved ivories, exquisite surroundings,
4201 luxury, pomp--there is much to be got from all these. But the artistic
4202 temperament that they create, or at any rate reveal, is still more to
4203 me. To become the spectator of one's own life, as Harry says, is to
4204 escape the suffering of life. I know you are surprised at my talking
4205 to you like this. You have not realized how I have developed. I was a
4206 schoolboy when you knew me. I am a man now. I have new passions, new
4207 thoughts, new ideas. I am different, but you must not like me less. I
4208 am changed, but you must always be my friend. Of course, I am very
4209 fond of Harry. But I know that you are better than he is. You are not
4210 stronger--you are too much afraid of life--but you are better. And how
4211 happy we used to be together! Don't leave me, Basil, and don't quarrel
4212 with me. I am what I am. There is nothing more to be said."
4213
4214 The painter felt strangely moved. The lad was infinitely dear to him,
4215 and his personality had been the great turning point in his art. He
4216 could not bear the idea of reproaching him any more. After all, his
4217 indifference was probably merely a mood that would pass away. There
4218 was so much in him that was good, so much in him that was noble.
4219
4220 "Well, Dorian," he said at length, with a sad smile, "I won't speak to
4221 you again about this horrible thing, after to-day. I only trust your
4222 name won't be mentioned in connection with it. The inquest is to take
4223 place this afternoon. Have they summoned you?"
4224
4225 Dorian shook his head, and a look of annoyance passed over his face at
4226 the mention of the word "inquest." There was something so crude and
4227 vulgar about everything of the kind. "They don't know my name," he
4228 answered.
4229
4230 "But surely she did?"
4231
4232 "Only my Christian name, and that I am quite sure she never mentioned
4233 to any one. She told me once that they were all rather curious to
4234 learn who I was, and that she invariably told them my name was Prince
4235 Charming. It was pretty of her. You must do me a drawing of Sibyl,
4236 Basil. I should like to have something more of her than the memory of
4237 a few kisses and some broken pathetic words."
4238
4239 "I will try and do something, Dorian, if it would please you. But you
4240 must come and sit to me yourself again. I can't get on without you."
4241
4242 "I can never sit to you again, Basil. It is impossible!" he exclaimed,
4243 starting back.
4244
4245 The painter stared at him. "My dear boy, what nonsense!" he cried.
4246 "Do you mean to say you don't like what I did of you? Where is it?
4247 Why have you pulled the screen in front of it? Let me look at it. It
4248 is the best thing I have ever done. Do take the screen away, Dorian.
4249 It is simply disgraceful of your servant hiding my work like that. I
4250 felt the room looked different as I came in."
4251
4252 "My servant has nothing to do with it, Basil. You don't imagine I let
4253 him arrange my room for me? He settles my flowers for me
4254 sometimes--that is all. No; I did it myself. The light was too strong
4255 on the portrait."
4256
4257 "Too strong! Surely not, my dear fellow? It is an admirable place for
4258 it. Let me see it." And Hallward walked towards the corner of the
4259 room.
4260
4261 A cry of terror broke from Dorian Gray's lips, and he rushed between
4262 the painter and the screen. "Basil," he said, looking very pale, "you
4263 must not look at it. I don't wish you to."
4264
4265 "Not look at my own work! You are not serious. Why shouldn't I look
4266 at it?" exclaimed Hallward, laughing.
4267
4268 "If you try to look at it, Basil, on my word of honour I will never
4269 speak to you again as long as I live. I am quite serious. I don't
4270 offer any explanation, and you are not to ask for any. But, remember,
4271 if you touch this screen, everything is over between us."
4272
4273 Hallward was thunderstruck. He looked at Dorian Gray in absolute
4274 amazement. He had never seen him like this before. The lad was
4275 actually pallid with rage. His hands were clenched, and the pupils of
4276 his eyes were like disks of blue fire. He was trembling all over.
4277
4278 "Dorian!"
4279
4280 "Don't speak!"
4281
4282 "But what is the matter? Of course I won't look at it if you don't
4283 want me to," he said, rather coldly, turning on his heel and going over
4284 towards the window. "But, really, it seems rather absurd that I
4285 shouldn't see my own work, especially as I am going to exhibit it in
4286 Paris in the autumn. I shall probably have to give it another coat of
4287 varnish before that, so I must see it some day, and why not to-day?"
4288
4289 "To exhibit it! You want to exhibit it?" exclaimed Dorian Gray, a
4290 strange sense of terror creeping over him. Was the world going to be
4291 shown his secret? Were people to gape at the mystery of his life?
4292 That was impossible. Something--he did not know what--had to be done
4293 at once.
4294
4295 "Yes; I don't suppose you will object to that. Georges Petit is going
4296 to collect all my best pictures for a special exhibition in the Rue de
4297 Seze, which will open the first week in October. The portrait will
4298 only be away a month. I should think you could easily spare it for
4299 that time. In fact, you are sure to be out of town. And if you keep
4300 it always behind a screen, you can't care much about it."
4301
4302 Dorian Gray passed his hand over his forehead. There were beads of
4303 perspiration there. He felt that he was on the brink of a horrible
4304 danger. "You told me a month ago that you would never exhibit it," he
4305 cried. "Why have you changed your mind? You people who go in for
4306 being consistent have just as many moods as others have. The only
4307 difference is that your moods are rather meaningless. You can't have
4308 forgotten that you assured me most solemnly that nothing in the world
4309 would induce you to send it to any exhibition. You told Harry exactly
4310 the same thing." He stopped suddenly, and a gleam of light came into
4311 his eyes. He remembered that Lord Henry had said to him once, half
4312 seriously and half in jest, "If you want to have a strange quarter of
4313 an hour, get Basil to tell you why he won't exhibit your picture. He
4314 told me why he wouldn't, and it was a revelation to me." Yes, perhaps
4315 Basil, too, had his secret. He would ask him and try.
4316
4317 "Basil," he said, coming over quite close and looking him straight in
4318 the face, "we have each of us a secret. Let me know yours, and I shall
4319 tell you mine. What was your reason for refusing to exhibit my
4320 picture?"
4321
4322 The painter shuddered in spite of himself. "Dorian, if I told you, you
4323 might like me less than you do, and you would certainly laugh at me. I
4324 could not bear your doing either of those two things. If you wish me
4325 never to look at your picture again, I am content. I have always you
4326 to look at. If you wish the best work I have ever done to be hidden
4327 from the world, I am satisfied. Your friendship is dearer to me than
4328 any fame or reputation."
4329
4330 "No, Basil, you must tell me," insisted Dorian Gray. "I think I have a
4331 right to know." His feeling of terror had passed away, and curiosity
4332 had taken its place. He was determined to find out Basil Hallward's
4333 mystery.
4334
4335 "Let us sit down, Dorian," said the painter, looking troubled. "Let us
4336 sit down. And just answer me one question. Have you noticed in the
4337 picture something curious?--something that probably at first did not
4338 strike you, but that revealed itself to you suddenly?"
4339
4340 "Basil!" cried the lad, clutching the arms of his chair with trembling
4341 hands and gazing at him with wild startled eyes.
4342
4343 "I see you did. Don't speak. Wait till you hear what I have to say.
4344 Dorian, from the moment I met you, your personality had the most
4345 extraordinary influence over me. I was dominated, soul, brain, and
4346 power, by you. You became to me the visible incarnation of that unseen
4347 ideal whose memory haunts us artists like an exquisite dream. I
4348 worshipped you. I grew jealous of every one to whom you spoke. I
4349 wanted to have you all to myself. I was only happy when I was with
4350 you. When you were away from me, you were still present in my art....
4351 Of course, I never let you know anything about this. It would have
4352 been impossible. You would not have understood it. I hardly
4353 understood it myself. I only knew that I had seen perfection face to
4354 face, and that the world had become wonderful to my eyes--too
4355 wonderful, perhaps, for in such mad worships there is peril, the peril
4356 of losing them, no less than the peril of keeping them.... Weeks and
4357 weeks went on, and I grew more and more absorbed in you. Then came a
4358 new development. I had drawn you as Paris in dainty armour, and as
4359 Adonis with huntsman's cloak and polished boar-spear. Crowned with
4360 heavy lotus-blossoms you had sat on the prow of Adrian's barge, gazing
4361 across the green turbid Nile. You had leaned over the still pool of
4362 some Greek woodland and seen in the water's silent silver the marvel of
4363 your own face. And it had all been what art should be--unconscious,
4364 ideal, and remote. One day, a fatal day I sometimes think, I
4365 determined to paint a wonderful portrait of you as you actually are,
4366 not in the costume of dead ages, but in your own dress and in your own
4367 time. Whether it was the realism of the method, or the mere wonder of
4368 your own personality, thus directly presented to me without mist or
4369 veil, I cannot tell. But I know that as I worked at it, every flake
4370 and film of colour seemed to me to reveal my secret. I grew afraid
4371 that others would know of my idolatry. I felt, Dorian, that I had told
4372 too much, that I had put too much of myself into it. Then it was that
4373 I resolved never to allow the picture to be exhibited. You were a
4374 little annoyed; but then you did not realize all that it meant to me.
4375 Harry, to whom I talked about it, laughed at me. But I did not mind
4376 that. When the picture was finished, and I sat alone with it, I felt
4377 that I was right.... Well, after a few days the thing left my studio,
4378 and as soon as I had got rid of the intolerable fascination of its
4379 presence, it seemed to me that I had been foolish in imagining that I
4380 had seen anything in it, more than that you were extremely good-looking
4381 and that I could paint. Even now I cannot help feeling that it is a
4382 mistake to think that the passion one feels in creation is ever really
4383 shown in the work one creates. Art is always more abstract than we
4384 fancy. Form and colour tell us of form and colour--that is all. It
4385 often seems to me that art conceals the artist far more completely than
4386 it ever reveals him. And so when I got this offer from Paris, I
4387 determined to make your portrait the principal thing in my exhibition.
4388 It never occurred to me that you would refuse. I see now that you were
4389 right. The picture cannot be shown. You must not be angry with me,
4390 Dorian, for what I have told you. As I said to Harry, once, you are
4391 made to be worshipped."
4392
4393 Dorian Gray drew a long breath. The colour came back to his cheeks,
4394 and a smile played about his lips. The peril was over. He was safe
4395 for the time. Yet he could not help feeling infinite pity for the
4396 painter who had just made this strange confession to him, and wondered
4397 if he himself would ever be so dominated by the personality of a
4398 friend. Lord Henry had the charm of being very dangerous. But that
4399 was all. He was too clever and too cynical to be really fond of.
4400 Would there ever be some one who would fill him with a strange
4401 idolatry? Was that one of the things that life had in store?
4402
4403 "It is extraordinary to me, Dorian," said Hallward, "that you should
4404 have seen this in the portrait. Did you really see it?"
4405
4406 "I saw something in it," he answered, "something that seemed to me very
4407 curious."
4408
4409 "Well, you don't mind my looking at the thing now?"
4410
4411 Dorian shook his head. "You must not ask me that, Basil. I could not
4412 possibly let you stand in front of that picture."
4413
4414 "You will some day, surely?"
4415
4416 "Never."
4417
4418 "Well, perhaps you are right. And now good-bye, Dorian. You have been
4419 the one person in my life who has really influenced my art. Whatever I
4420 have done that is good, I owe to you. Ah! you don't know what it cost
4421 me to tell you all that I have told you."
4422
4423 "My dear Basil," said Dorian, "what have you told me? Simply that you
4424 felt that you admired me too much. That is not even a compliment."
4425
4426 "It was not intended as a compliment. It was a confession. Now that I
4427 have made it, something seems to have gone out of me. Perhaps one
4428 should never put one's worship into words."
4429
4430 "It was a very disappointing confession."
4431
4432 "Why, what did you expect, Dorian? You didn't see anything else in the
4433 picture, did you? There was nothing else to see?"
4434
4435 "No; there was nothing else to see. Why do you ask? But you mustn't
4436 talk about worship. It is foolish. You and I are friends, Basil, and
4437 we must always remain so."
4438
4439 "You have got Harry," said the painter sadly.
4440
4441 "Oh, Harry!" cried the lad, with a ripple of laughter. "Harry spends
4442 his days in saying what is incredible and his evenings in doing what is
4443 improbable. Just the sort of life I would like to lead. But still I
4444 don't think I would go to Harry if I were in trouble. I would sooner
4445 go to you, Basil."
4446
4447 "You will sit to me again?"
4448
4449 "Impossible!"
4450
4451 "You spoil my life as an artist by refusing, Dorian. No man comes
4452 across two ideal things. Few come across one."
4453
4454 "I can't explain it to you, Basil, but I must never sit to you again.
4455 There is something fatal about a portrait. It has a life of its own.
4456 I will come and have tea with you. That will be just as pleasant."
4457
4458 "Pleasanter for you, I am afraid," murmured Hallward regretfully. "And
4459 now good-bye. I am sorry you won't let me look at the picture once
4460 again. But that can't be helped. I quite understand what you feel
4461 about it."
4462
4463 As he left the room, Dorian Gray smiled to himself. Poor Basil! How
4464 little he knew of the true reason! And how strange it was that,
4465 instead of having been forced to reveal his own secret, he had
4466 succeeded, almost by chance, in wresting a secret from his friend! How
4467 much that strange confession explained to him! The painter's absurd
4468 fits of jealousy, his wild devotion, his extravagant panegyrics, his
4469 curious reticences--he understood them all now, and he felt sorry.
4470 There seemed to him to be something tragic in a friendship so coloured
4471 by romance.
4472
4473 He sighed and touched the bell. The portrait must be hidden away at
4474 all costs. He could not run such a risk of discovery again. It had
4475 been mad of him to have allowed the thing to remain, even for an hour,
4476 in a room to which any of his friends had access.
4477
4478
4479
4480 CHAPTER 10
4481
4482 When his servant entered, he looked at him steadfastly and wondered if
4483 he had thought of peering behind the screen. The man was quite
4484 impassive and waited for his orders. Dorian lit a cigarette and walked
4485 over to the glass and glanced into it. He could see the reflection of
4486 Victor's face perfectly. It was like a placid mask of servility.
4487 There was nothing to be afraid of, there. Yet he thought it best to be
4488 on his guard.
4489
4490 Speaking very slowly, he told him to tell the house-keeper that he
4491 wanted to see her, and then to go to the frame-maker and ask him to
4492 send two of his men round at once. It seemed to him that as the man
4493 left the room his eyes wandered in the direction of the screen. Or was
4494 that merely his own fancy?
4495
4496 After a few moments, in her black silk dress, with old-fashioned thread
4497 mittens on her wrinkled hands, Mrs. Leaf bustled into the library. He
4498 asked her for the key of the schoolroom.
4499
4500 "The old schoolroom, Mr. Dorian?" she exclaimed. "Why, it is full of
4501 dust. I must get it arranged and put straight before you go into it.
4502 It is not fit for you to see, sir. It is not, indeed."
4503
4504 "I don't want it put straight, Leaf. I only want the key."
4505
4506 "Well, sir, you'll be covered with cobwebs if you go into it. Why, it
4507 hasn't been opened for nearly five years--not since his lordship died."
4508
4509 He winced at the mention of his grandfather. He had hateful memories
4510 of him. "That does not matter," he answered. "I simply want to see
4511 the place--that is all. Give me the key."
4512
4513 "And here is the key, sir," said the old lady, going over the contents
4514 of her bunch with tremulously uncertain hands. "Here is the key. I'll
4515 have it off the bunch in a moment. But you don't think of living up
4516 there, sir, and you so comfortable here?"
4517
4518 "No, no," he cried petulantly. "Thank you, Leaf. That will do."
4519
4520 She lingered for a few moments, and was garrulous over some detail of
4521 the household. He sighed and told her to manage things as she thought
4522 best. She left the room, wreathed in smiles.
4523
4524 As the door closed, Dorian put the key in his pocket and looked round
4525 the room. His eye fell on a large, purple satin coverlet heavily
4526 embroidered with gold, a splendid piece of late seventeenth-century
4527 Venetian work that his grandfather had found in a convent near Bologna.
4528 Yes, that would serve to wrap the dreadful thing in. It had perhaps
4529 served often as a pall for the dead. Now it was to hide something that
4530 had a corruption of its own, worse than the corruption of death
4531 itself--something that would breed horrors and yet would never die.
4532 What the worm was to the corpse, his sins would be to the painted image
4533 on the canvas. They would mar its beauty and eat away its grace. They
4534 would defile it and make it shameful. And yet the thing would still
4535 live on. It would be always alive.
4536
4537 He shuddered, and for a moment he regretted that he had not told Basil
4538 the true reason why he had wished to hide the picture away. Basil
4539 would have helped him to resist Lord Henry's influence, and the still
4540 more poisonous influences that came from his own temperament. The love
4541 that he bore him--for it was really love--had nothing in it that was
4542 not noble and intellectual. It was not that mere physical admiration
4543 of beauty that is born of the senses and that dies when the senses
4544 tire. It was such love as Michelangelo had known, and Montaigne, and
4545 Winckelmann, and Shakespeare himself. Yes, Basil could have saved him.
4546 But it was too late now. The past could always be annihilated.
4547 Regret, denial, or forgetfulness could do that. But the future was
4548 inevitable. There were passions in him that would find their terrible
4549 outlet, dreams that would make the shadow of their evil real.
4550
4551 He took up from the couch the great purple-and-gold texture that
4552 covered it, and, holding it in his hands, passed behind the screen.
4553 Was the face on the canvas viler than before? It seemed to him that it
4554 was unchanged, and yet his loathing of it was intensified. Gold hair,
4555 blue eyes, and rose-red lips--they all were there. It was simply the
4556 expression that had altered. That was horrible in its cruelty.
4557 Compared to what he saw in it of censure or rebuke, how shallow Basil's
4558 reproaches about Sibyl Vane had been!--how shallow, and of what little
4559 account! His own soul was looking out at him from the canvas and
4560 calling him to judgement. A look of pain came across him, and he flung
4561 the rich pall over the picture. As he did so, a knock came to the
4562 door. He passed out as his servant entered.
4563
4564 "The persons are here, Monsieur."
4565
4566 He felt that the man must be got rid of at once. He must not be
4567 allowed to know where the picture was being taken to. There was
4568 something sly about him, and he had thoughtful, treacherous eyes.
4569 Sitting down at the writing-table he scribbled a note to Lord Henry,
4570 asking him to send him round something to read and reminding him that
4571 they were to meet at eight-fifteen that evening.
4572
4573 "Wait for an answer," he said, handing it to him, "and show the men in
4574 here."
4575
4576 In two or three minutes there was another knock, and Mr. Hubbard
4577 himself, the celebrated frame-maker of South Audley Street, came in
4578 with a somewhat rough-looking young assistant. Mr. Hubbard was a
4579 florid, red-whiskered little man, whose admiration for art was
4580 considerably tempered by the inveterate impecuniosity of most of the
4581 artists who dealt with him. As a rule, he never left his shop. He
4582 waited for people to come to him. But he always made an exception in
4583 favour of Dorian Gray. There was something about Dorian that charmed
4584 everybody. It was a pleasure even to see him.
4585
4586 "What can I do for you, Mr. Gray?" he said, rubbing his fat freckled
4587 hands. "I thought I would do myself the honour of coming round in
4588 person. I have just got a beauty of a frame, sir. Picked it up at a
4589 sale. Old Florentine. Came from Fonthill, I believe. Admirably
4590 suited for a religious subject, Mr. Gray."
4591
4592 "I am so sorry you have given yourself the trouble of coming round, Mr.
4593 Hubbard. I shall certainly drop in and look at the frame--though I
4594 don't go in much at present for religious art--but to-day I only want a
4595 picture carried to the top of the house for me. It is rather heavy, so
4596 I thought I would ask you to lend me a couple of your men."
4597
4598 "No trouble at all, Mr. Gray. I am delighted to be of any service to
4599 you. Which is the work of art, sir?"
4600
4601 "This," replied Dorian, moving the screen back. "Can you move it,
4602 covering and all, just as it is? I don't want it to get scratched
4603 going upstairs."
4604
4605 "There will be no difficulty, sir," said the genial frame-maker,
4606 beginning, with the aid of his assistant, to unhook the picture from
4607 the long brass chains by which it was suspended. "And, now, where
4608 shall we carry it to, Mr. Gray?"
4609
4610 "I will show you the way, Mr. Hubbard, if you will kindly follow me.
4611 Or perhaps you had better go in front. I am afraid it is right at the
4612 top of the house. We will go up by the front staircase, as it is
4613 wider."
4614
4615 He held the door open for them, and they passed out into the hall and
4616 began the ascent. The elaborate character of the frame had made the
4617 picture extremely bulky, and now and then, in spite of the obsequious
4618 protests of Mr. Hubbard, who had the true tradesman's spirited dislike
4619 of seeing a gentleman doing anything useful, Dorian put his hand to it
4620 so as to help them.
4621
4622 "Something of a load to carry, sir," gasped the little man when they
4623 reached the top landing. And he wiped his shiny forehead.
4624
4625 "I am afraid it is rather heavy," murmured Dorian as he unlocked the
4626 door that opened into the room that was to keep for him the curious
4627 secret of his life and hide his soul from the eyes of men.
4628
4629 He had not entered the place for more than four years--not, indeed,
4630 since he had used it first as a play-room when he was a child, and then
4631 as a study when he grew somewhat older. It was a large,
4632 well-proportioned room, which had been specially built by the last Lord
4633 Kelso for the use of the little grandson whom, for his strange likeness
4634 to his mother, and also for other reasons, he had always hated and
4635 desired to keep at a distance. It appeared to Dorian to have but
4636 little changed. There was the huge Italian _cassone_, with its
4637 fantastically painted panels and its tarnished gilt mouldings, in which
4638 he had so often hidden himself as a boy. There the satinwood book-case
4639 filled with his dog-eared schoolbooks. On the wall behind it was
4640 hanging the same ragged Flemish tapestry where a faded king and queen
4641 were playing chess in a garden, while a company of hawkers rode by,
4642 carrying hooded birds on their gauntleted wrists. How well he
4643 remembered it all! Every moment of his lonely childhood came back to
4644 him as he looked round. He recalled the stainless purity of his boyish
4645 life, and it seemed horrible to him that it was here the fatal portrait
4646 was to be hidden away. How little he had thought, in those dead days,
4647 of all that was in store for him!
4648
4649 But there was no other place in the house so secure from prying eyes as
4650 this. He had the key, and no one else could enter it. Beneath its
4651 purple pall, the face painted on the canvas could grow bestial, sodden,
4652 and unclean. What did it matter? No one could see it. He himself
4653 would not see it. Why should he watch the hideous corruption of his
4654 soul? He kept his youth--that was enough. And, besides, might not
4655 his nature grow finer, after all? There was no reason that the future
4656 should be so full of shame. Some love might come across his life, and
4657 purify him, and shield him from those sins that seemed to be already
4658 stirring in spirit and in flesh--those curious unpictured sins whose
4659 very mystery lent them their subtlety and their charm. Perhaps, some
4660 day, the cruel look would have passed away from the scarlet sensitive
4661 mouth, and he might show to the world Basil Hallward's masterpiece.
4662
4663 No; that was impossible. Hour by hour, and week by week, the thing
4664 upon the canvas was growing old. It might escape the hideousness of
4665 sin, but the hideousness of age was in store for it. The cheeks would
4666 become hollow or flaccid. Yellow crow's feet would creep round the
4667 fading eyes and make them horrible. The hair would lose its
4668 brightness, the mouth would gape or droop, would be foolish or gross,
4669 as the mouths of old men are. There would be the wrinkled throat, the
4670 cold, blue-veined hands, the twisted body, that he remembered in the
4671 grandfather who had been so stern to him in his boyhood. The picture
4672 had to be concealed. There was no help for it.
4673
4674 "Bring it in, Mr. Hubbard, please," he said, wearily, turning round.
4675 "I am sorry I kept you so long. I was thinking of something else."
4676
4677 "Always glad to have a rest, Mr. Gray," answered the frame-maker, who
4678 was still gasping for breath. "Where shall we put it, sir?"
4679
4680 "Oh, anywhere. Here: this will do. I don't want to have it hung up.
4681 Just lean it against the wall. Thanks."
4682
4683 "Might one look at the work of art, sir?"
4684
4685 Dorian started. "It would not interest you, Mr. Hubbard," he said,
4686 keeping his eye on the man. He felt ready to leap upon him and fling
4687 him to the ground if he dared to lift the gorgeous hanging that
4688 concealed the secret of his life. "I shan't trouble you any more now.
4689 I am much obliged for your kindness in coming round."
4690
4691 "Not at all, not at all, Mr. Gray. Ever ready to do anything for you,
4692 sir." And Mr. Hubbard tramped downstairs, followed by the assistant,
4693 who glanced back at Dorian with a look of shy wonder in his rough
4694 uncomely face. He had never seen any one so marvellous.
4695
4696 When the sound of their footsteps had died away, Dorian locked the door
4697 and put the key in his pocket. He felt safe now. No one would ever
4698 look upon the horrible thing. No eye but his would ever see his shame.
4699
4700 On reaching the library, he found that it was just after five o'clock
4701 and that the tea had been already brought up. On a little table of
4702 dark perfumed wood thickly incrusted with nacre, a present from Lady
4703 Radley, his guardian's wife, a pretty professional invalid who had
4704 spent the preceding winter in Cairo, was lying a note from Lord Henry,
4705 and beside it was a book bound in yellow paper, the cover slightly torn
4706 and the edges soiled. A copy of the third edition of _The St. James's
4707 Gazette_ had been placed on the tea-tray. It was evident that Victor had
4708 returned. He wondered if he had met the men in the hall as they were
4709 leaving the house and had wormed out of them what they had been doing.
4710 He would be sure to miss the picture--had no doubt missed it already,
4711 while he had been laying the tea-things. The screen had not been set
4712 back, and a blank space was visible on the wall. Perhaps some night he
4713 might find him creeping upstairs and trying to force the door of the
4714 room. It was a horrible thing to have a spy in one's house. He had
4715 heard of rich men who had been blackmailed all their lives by some
4716 servant who had read a letter, or overheard a conversation, or picked
4717 up a card with an address, or found beneath a pillow a withered flower
4718 or a shred of crumpled lace.
4719
4720 He sighed, and having poured himself out some tea, opened Lord Henry's
4721 note. It was simply to say that he sent him round the evening paper,
4722 and a book that might interest him, and that he would be at the club at
4723 eight-fifteen. He opened _The St. James's_ languidly, and looked through
4724 it. A red pencil-mark on the fifth page caught his eye. It drew
4725 attention to the following paragraph:
4726
4727
4728 INQUEST ON AN ACTRESS.--An inquest was held this morning at the Bell
4729 Tavern, Hoxton Road, by Mr. Danby, the District Coroner, on the body of
4730 Sibyl Vane, a young actress recently engaged at the Royal Theatre,
4731 Holborn. A verdict of death by misadventure was returned.
4732 Considerable sympathy was expressed for the mother of the deceased, who
4733 was greatly affected during the giving of her own evidence, and that of
4734 Dr. Birrell, who had made the post-mortem examination of the deceased.
4735
4736
4737 He frowned, and tearing the paper in two, went across the room and
4738 flung the pieces away. How ugly it all was! And how horribly real
4739 ugliness made things! He felt a little annoyed with Lord Henry for
4740 having sent him the report. And it was certainly stupid of him to have
4741 marked it with red pencil. Victor might have read it. The man knew
4742 more than enough English for that.
4743
4744 Perhaps he had read it and had begun to suspect something. And, yet,
4745 what did it matter? What had Dorian Gray to do with Sibyl Vane's
4746 death? There was nothing to fear. Dorian Gray had not killed her.
4747
4748 His eye fell on the yellow book that Lord Henry had sent him. What was
4749 it, he wondered. He went towards the little, pearl-coloured octagonal
4750 stand that had always looked to him like the work of some strange
4751 Egyptian bees that wrought in silver, and taking up the volume, flung
4752 himself into an arm-chair and began to turn over the leaves. After a
4753 few minutes he became absorbed. It was the strangest book that he had
4754 ever read. It seemed to him that in exquisite raiment, and to the
4755 delicate sound of flutes, the sins of the world were passing in dumb
4756 show before him. Things that he had dimly dreamed of were suddenly
4757 made real to him. Things of which he had never dreamed were gradually
4758 revealed.
4759
4760 It was a novel without a plot and with only one character, being,
4761 indeed, simply a psychological study of a certain young Parisian who
4762 spent his life trying to realize in the nineteenth century all the
4763 passions and modes of thought that belonged to every century except his
4764 own, and to sum up, as it were, in himself the various moods through
4765 which the world-spirit had ever passed, loving for their mere
4766 artificiality those renunciations that men have unwisely called virtue,
4767 as much as those natural rebellions that wise men still call sin. The
4768 style in which it was written was that curious jewelled style, vivid
4769 and obscure at once, full of _argot_ and of archaisms, of technical
4770 expressions and of elaborate paraphrases, that characterizes the work
4771 of some of the finest artists of the French school of _Symbolistes_.
4772 There were in it metaphors as monstrous as orchids and as subtle in
4773 colour. The life of the senses was described in the terms of mystical
4774 philosophy. One hardly knew at times whether one was reading the
4775 spiritual ecstasies of some mediaeval saint or the morbid confessions
4776 of a modern sinner. It was a poisonous book. The heavy odour of
4777 incense seemed to cling about its pages and to trouble the brain. The
4778 mere cadence of the sentences, the subtle monotony of their music, so
4779 full as it was of complex refrains and movements elaborately repeated,
4780 produced in the mind of the lad, as he passed from chapter to chapter,
4781 a form of reverie, a malady of dreaming, that made him unconscious of
4782 the falling day and creeping shadows.
4783
4784 Cloudless, and pierced by one solitary star, a copper-green sky gleamed
4785 through the windows. He read on by its wan light till he could read no
4786 more. Then, after his valet had reminded him several times of the
4787 lateness of the hour, he got up, and going into the next room, placed
4788 the book on the little Florentine table that always stood at his
4789 bedside and began to dress for dinner.
4790
4791 It was almost nine o'clock before he reached the club, where he found
4792 Lord Henry sitting alone, in the morning-room, looking very much bored.
4793
4794 "I am so sorry, Harry," he cried, "but really it is entirely your
4795 fault. That book you sent me so fascinated me that I forgot how the
4796 time was going."
4797
4798 "Yes, I thought you would like it," replied his host, rising from his
4799 chair.
4800
4801 "I didn't say I liked it, Harry. I said it fascinated me. There is a
4802 great difference."
4803
4804 "Ah, you have discovered that?" murmured Lord Henry. And they passed
4805 into the dining-room.
4806
4807
4808
4809 CHAPTER 11
4810
4811 For years, Dorian Gray could not free himself from the influence of
4812 this book. Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that he never
4813 sought to free himself from it. He procured from Paris no less than
4814 nine large-paper copies of the first edition, and had them bound in
4815 different colours, so that they might suit his various moods and the
4816 changing fancies of a nature over which he seemed, at times, to have
4817 almost entirely lost control. The hero, the wonderful young Parisian
4818 in whom the romantic and the scientific temperaments were so strangely
4819 blended, became to him a kind of prefiguring type of himself. And,
4820 indeed, the whole book seemed to him to contain the story of his own
4821 life, written before he had lived it.
4822
4823 In one point he was more fortunate than the novel's fantastic hero. He
4824 never knew--never, indeed, had any cause to know--that somewhat
4825 grotesque dread of mirrors, and polished metal surfaces, and still
4826 water which came upon the young Parisian so early in his life, and was
4827 occasioned by the sudden decay of a beau that had once, apparently,
4828 been so remarkable. It was with an almost cruel joy--and perhaps in
4829 nearly every joy, as certainly in every pleasure, cruelty has its
4830 place--that he used to read the latter part of the book, with its
4831 really tragic, if somewhat overemphasized, account of the sorrow and
4832 despair of one who had himself lost what in others, and the world, he
4833 had most dearly valued.
4834
4835 For the wonderful beauty that had so fascinated Basil Hallward, and
4836 many others besides him, seemed never to leave him. Even those who had
4837 heard the most evil things against him--and from time to time strange
4838 rumours about his mode of life crept through London and became the
4839 chatter of the clubs--could not believe anything to his dishonour when
4840 they saw him. He had always the look of one who had kept himself
4841 unspotted from the world. Men who talked grossly became silent when
4842 Dorian Gray entered the room. There was something in the purity of his
4843 face that rebuked them. His mere presence seemed to recall to them the
4844 memory of the innocence that they had tarnished. They wondered how one
4845 so charming and graceful as he was could have escaped the stain of an
4846 age that was at once sordid and sensual.
4847
4848 Often, on returning home from one of those mysterious and prolonged
4849 absences that gave rise to such strange conjecture among those who were
4850 his friends, or thought that they were so, he himself would creep
4851 upstairs to the locked room, open the door with the key that never left
4852 him now, and stand, with a mirror, in front of the portrait that Basil
4853 Hallward had painted of him, looking now at the evil and aging face on
4854 the canvas, and now at the fair young face that laughed back at him
4855 from the polished glass. The very sharpness of the contrast used to
4856 quicken his sense of pleasure. He grew more and more enamoured of his
4857 own beauty, more and more interested in the corruption of his own soul.
4858 He would examine with minute care, and sometimes with a monstrous and
4859 terrible delight, the hideous lines that seared the wrinkling forehead
4860 or crawled around the heavy sensual mouth, wondering sometimes which
4861 were the more horrible, the signs of sin or the signs of age. He would
4862 place his white hands beside the coarse bloated hands of the picture,
4863 and smile. He mocked the misshapen body and the failing limbs.
4864
4865 There were moments, indeed, at night, when, lying sleepless in his own
4866 delicately scented chamber, or in the sordid room of the little
4867 ill-famed tavern near the docks which, under an assumed name and in
4868 disguise, it was his habit to frequent, he would think of the ruin he
4869 had brought upon his soul with a pity that was all the more poignant
4870 because it was purely selfish. But moments such as these were rare.
4871 That curiosity about life which Lord Henry had first stirred in him, as
4872 they sat together in the garden of their friend, seemed to increase
4873 with gratification. The more he knew, the more he desired to know. He
4874 had mad hungers that grew more ravenous as he fed them.
4875
4876 Yet he was not really reckless, at any rate in his relations to
4877 society. Once or twice every month during the winter, and on each
4878 Wednesday evening while the season lasted, he would throw open to the
4879 world his beautiful house and have the most celebrated musicians of the
4880 day to charm his guests with the wonders of their art. His little
4881 dinners, in the settling of which Lord Henry always assisted him, were
4882 noted as much for the careful selection and placing of those invited,
4883 as for the exquisite taste shown in the decoration of the table, with
4884 its subtle symphonic arrangements of exotic flowers, and embroidered
4885 cloths, and antique plate of gold and silver. Indeed, there were many,
4886 especially among the very young men, who saw, or fancied that they saw,
4887 in Dorian Gray the true realization of a type of which they had often
4888 dreamed in Eton or Oxford days, a type that was to combine something of
4889 the real culture of the scholar with all the grace and distinction and
4890 perfect manner of a citizen of the world. To them he seemed to be of
4891 the company of those whom Dante describes as having sought to "make
4892 themselves perfect by the worship of beauty." Like Gautier, he was one
4893 for whom "the visible world existed."
4894
4895 And, certainly, to him life itself was the first, the greatest, of the
4896 arts, and for it all the other arts seemed to be but a preparation.
4897 Fashion, by which what is really fantastic becomes for a moment
4898 universal, and dandyism, which, in its own way, is an attempt to assert
4899 the absolute modernity of beauty, had, of course, their fascination for
4900 him. His mode of dressing, and the particular styles that from time to
4901 time he affected, had their marked influence on the young exquisites of
4902 the Mayfair balls and Pall Mall club windows, who copied him in
4903 everything that he did, and tried to reproduce the accidental charm of
4904 his graceful, though to him only half-serious, fopperies.
4905
4906 For, while he was but too ready to accept the position that was almost
4907 immediately offered to him on his coming of age, and found, indeed, a
4908 subtle pleasure in the thought that he might really become to the
4909 London of his own day what to imperial Neronian Rome the author of the
4910 Satyricon once had been, yet in his inmost heart he desired to be
4911 something more than a mere _arbiter elegantiarum_, to be consulted on the
4912 wearing of a jewel, or the knotting of a necktie, or the conduct of a
4913 cane. He sought to elaborate some new scheme of life that would have
4914 its reasoned philosophy and its ordered principles, and find in the
4915 spiritualizing of the senses its highest realization.
4916
4917 The worship of the senses has often, and with much justice, been
4918 decried, men feeling a natural instinct of terror about passions and
4919 sensations that seem stronger than themselves, and that they are
4920 conscious of sharing with the less highly organized forms of existence.
4921 But it appeared to Dorian Gray that the true nature of the senses had
4922 never been understood, and that they had remained savage and animal
4923 merely because the world had sought to starve them into submission or
4924 to kill them by pain, instead of aiming at making them elements of a
4925 new spirituality, of which a fine instinct for beauty was to be the
4926 dominant characteristic. As he looked back upon man moving through
4927 history, he was haunted by a feeling of loss. So much had been
4928 surrendered! and to such little purpose! There had been mad wilful
4929 rejections, monstrous forms of self-torture and self-denial, whose
4930 origin was fear and whose result was a degradation infinitely more
4931 terrible than that fancied degradation from which, in their ignorance,
4932 they had sought to escape; Nature, in her wonderful irony, driving out
4933 the anchorite to feed with the wild animals of the desert and giving to
4934 the hermit the beasts of the field as his companions.
4935
4936 Yes: there was to be, as Lord Henry had prophesied, a new Hedonism
4937 that was to recreate life and to save it from that harsh uncomely
4938 puritanism that is having, in our own day, its curious revival. It was
4939 to have its service of the intellect, certainly, yet it was never to
4940 accept any theory or system that would involve the sacrifice of any
4941 mode of passionate experience. Its aim, indeed, was to be experience
4942 itself, and not the fruits of experience, sweet or bitter as they might
4943 be. Of the asceticism that deadens the senses, as of the vulgar
4944 profligacy that dulls them, it was to know nothing. But it was to
4945 teach man to concentrate himself upon the moments of a life that is
4946 itself but a moment.
4947
4948 There are few of us who have not sometimes wakened before dawn, either
4949 after one of those dreamless nights that make us almost enamoured of
4950 death, or one of those nights of horror and misshapen joy, when through
4951 the chambers of the brain sweep phantoms more terrible than reality
4952 itself, and instinct with that vivid life that lurks in all grotesques,
4953 and that lends to Gothic art its enduring vitality, this art being, one
4954 might fancy, especially the art of those whose minds have been troubled
4955 with the malady of reverie. Gradually white fingers creep through the
4956 curtains, and they appear to tremble. In black fantastic shapes, dumb
4957 shadows crawl into the corners of the room and crouch there. Outside,
4958 there is the stirring of birds among the leaves, or the sound of men
4959 going forth to their work, or the sigh and sob of the wind coming down
4960 from the hills and wandering round the silent house, as though it
4961 feared to wake the sleepers and yet must needs call forth sleep from
4962 her purple cave. Veil after veil of thin dusky gauze is lifted, and by
4963 degrees the forms and colours of things are restored to them, and we
4964 watch the dawn remaking the world in its antique pattern. The wan
4965 mirrors get back their mimic life. The flameless tapers stand where we
4966 had left them, and beside them lies the half-cut book that we had been
4967 studying, or the wired flower that we had worn at the ball, or the
4968 letter that we had been afraid to read, or that we had read too often.
4969 Nothing seems to us changed. Out of the unreal shadows of the night
4970 comes back the real life that we had known. We have to resume it where
4971 we had left off, and there steals over us a terrible sense of the
4972 necessity for the continuance of energy in the same wearisome round of
4973 stereotyped habits, or a wild longing, it may be, that our eyelids
4974 might open some morning upon a world that had been refashioned anew in
4975 the darkness for our pleasure, a world in which things would have fresh
4976 shapes and colours, and be changed, or have other secrets, a world in
4977 which the past would have little or no place, or survive, at any rate,
4978 in no conscious form of obligation or regret, the remembrance even of
4979 joy having its bitterness and the memories of pleasure their pain.
4980
4981 It was the creation of such worlds as these that seemed to Dorian Gray
4982 to be the true object, or amongst the true objects, of life; and in his
4983 search for sensations that would be at once new and delightful, and
4984 possess that element of strangeness that is so essential to romance, he
4985 would often adopt certain modes of thought that he knew to be really
4986 alien to his nature, abandon himself to their subtle influences, and
4987 then, having, as it were, caught their colour and satisfied his
4988 intellectual curiosity, leave them with that curious indifference that
4989 is not incompatible with a real ardour of temperament, and that,
4990 indeed, according to certain modern psychologists, is often a condition
4991 of it.
4992
4993 It was rumoured of him once that he was about to join the Roman
4994 Catholic communion, and certainly the Roman ritual had always a great
4995 attraction for him. The daily sacrifice, more awful really than all
4996 the sacrifices of the antique world, stirred him as much by its superb
4997 rejection of the evidence of the senses as by the primitive simplicity
4998 of its elements and the eternal pathos of the human tragedy that it
4999 sought to symbolize. He loved to kneel down on the cold marble
5000 pavement and watch the priest, in his stiff flowered dalmatic, slowly
5001 and with white hands moving aside the veil of the tabernacle, or
5002 raising aloft the jewelled, lantern-shaped monstrance with that pallid
5003 wafer that at times, one would fain think, is indeed the "_panis
5004 caelestis_," the bread of angels, or, robed in the garments of the
5005 Passion of Christ, breaking the Host into the chalice and smiting his
5006 breast for his sins. The fuming censers that the grave boys, in their
5007 lace and scarlet, tossed into the air like great gilt flowers had their
5008 subtle fascination for him. As he passed out, he used to look with
5009 wonder at the black confessionals and long to sit in the dim shadow of
5010 one of them and listen to men and women whispering through the worn
5011 grating the true story of their lives.
5012
5013 But he never fell into the error of arresting his intellectual
5014 development by any formal acceptance of creed or system, or of
5015 mistaking, for a house in which to live, an inn that is but suitable
5016 for the sojourn of a night, or for a few hours of a night in which
5017 there are no stars and the moon is in travail. Mysticism, with its
5018 marvellous power of making common things strange to us, and the subtle
5019 antinomianism that always seems to accompany it, moved him for a
5020 season; and for a season he inclined to the materialistic doctrines of
5021 the _Darwinismus_ movement in Germany, and found a curious pleasure in
5022 tracing the thoughts and passions of men to some pearly cell in the
5023 brain, or some white nerve in the body, delighting in the conception of
5024 the absolute dependence of the spirit on certain physical conditions,
5025 morbid or healthy, normal or diseased. Yet, as has been said of him
5026 before, no theory of life seemed to him to be of any importance
5027 compared with life itself. He felt keenly conscious of how barren all
5028 intellectual speculation is when separated from action and experiment.
5029 He knew that the senses, no less than the soul, have their spiritual
5030 mysteries to reveal.
5031
5032 And so he would now study perfumes and the secrets of their
5033 manufacture, distilling heavily scented oils and burning odorous gums
5034 from the East. He saw that there was no mood of the mind that had not
5035 its counterpart in the sensuous life, and set himself to discover their
5036 true relations, wondering what there was in frankincense that made one
5037 mystical, and in ambergris that stirred one's passions, and in violets
5038 that woke the memory of dead romances, and in musk that troubled the
5039 brain, and in champak that stained the imagination; and seeking often
5040 to elaborate a real psychology of perfumes, and to estimate the several
5041 influences of sweet-smelling roots and scented, pollen-laden flowers;
5042 of aromatic balms and of dark and fragrant woods; of spikenard, that
5043 sickens; of hovenia, that makes men mad; and of aloes, that are said to
5044 be able to expel melancholy from the soul.
5045
5046 At another time he devoted himself entirely to music, and in a long
5047 latticed room, with a vermilion-and-gold ceiling and walls of
5048 olive-green lacquer, he used to give curious concerts in which mad
5049 gipsies tore wild music from little zithers, or grave, yellow-shawled
5050 Tunisians plucked at the strained strings of monstrous lutes, while
5051 grinning Negroes beat monotonously upon copper drums and, crouching
5052 upon scarlet mats, slim turbaned Indians blew through long pipes of
5053 reed or brass and charmed--or feigned to charm--great hooded snakes and
5054 horrible horned adders. The harsh intervals and shrill discords of
5055 barbaric music stirred him at times when Schubert's grace, and Chopin's
5056 beautiful sorrows, and the mighty harmonies of Beethoven himself, fell
5057 unheeded on his ear. He collected together from all parts of the world
5058 the strangest instruments that could be found, either in the tombs of
5059 dead nations or among the few savage tribes that have survived contact
5060 with Western civilizations, and loved to touch and try them. He had
5061 the mysterious _juruparis_ of the Rio Negro Indians, that women are not
5062 allowed to look at and that even youths may not see till they have been
5063 subjected to fasting and scourging, and the earthen jars of the
5064 Peruvians that have the shrill cries of birds, and flutes of human
5065 bones such as Alfonso de Ovalle heard in Chile, and the sonorous green
5066 jaspers that are found near Cuzco and give forth a note of singular
5067 sweetness. He had painted gourds filled with pebbles that rattled when
5068 they were shaken; the long _clarin_ of the Mexicans, into which the
5069 performer does not blow, but through which he inhales the air; the
5070 harsh _ture_ of the Amazon tribes, that is sounded by the sentinels who
5071 sit all day long in high trees, and can be heard, it is said, at a
5072 distance of three leagues; the _teponaztli_, that has two vibrating
5073 tongues of wood and is beaten with sticks that are smeared with an
5074 elastic gum obtained from the milky juice of plants; the _yotl_-bells of
5075 the Aztecs, that are hung in clusters like grapes; and a huge
5076 cylindrical drum, covered with the skins of great serpents, like the
5077 one that Bernal Diaz saw when he went with Cortes into the Mexican
5078 temple, and of whose doleful sound he has left us so vivid a
5079 description. The fantastic character of these instruments fascinated
5080 him, and he felt a curious delight in the thought that art, like
5081 Nature, has her monsters, things of bestial shape and with hideous
5082 voices. Yet, after some time, he wearied of them, and would sit in his
5083 box at the opera, either alone or with Lord Henry, listening in rapt
5084 pleasure to "Tannhauser" and seeing in the prelude to that great work
5085 of art a presentation of the tragedy of his own soul.
5086
5087 On one occasion he took up the study of jewels, and appeared at a
5088 costume ball as Anne de Joyeuse, Admiral of France, in a dress covered
5089 with five hundred and sixty pearls. This taste enthralled him for
5090 years, and, indeed, may be said never to have left him. He would often
5091 spend a whole day settling and resettling in their cases the various
5092 stones that he had collected, such as the olive-green chrysoberyl that
5093 turns red by lamplight, the cymophane with its wirelike line of silver,
5094 the pistachio-coloured peridot, rose-pink and wine-yellow topazes,
5095 carbuncles of fiery scarlet with tremulous, four-rayed stars, flame-red
5096 cinnamon-stones, orange and violet spinels, and amethysts with their
5097 alternate layers of ruby and sapphire. He loved the red gold of the
5098 sunstone, and the moonstone's pearly whiteness, and the broken rainbow
5099 of the milky opal. He procured from Amsterdam three emeralds of
5100 extraordinary size and richness of colour, and had a turquoise _de la
5101 vieille roche_ that was the envy of all the connoisseurs.
5102
5103 He discovered wonderful stories, also, about jewels. In Alphonso's
5104 Clericalis Disciplina a serpent was mentioned with eyes of real
5105 jacinth, and in the romantic history of Alexander, the Conqueror of
5106 Emathia was said to have found in the vale of Jordan snakes "with
5107 collars of real emeralds growing on their backs." There was a gem in
5108 the brain of the dragon, Philostratus told us, and "by the exhibition
5109 of golden letters and a scarlet robe" the monster could be thrown into
5110 a magical sleep and slain. According to the great alchemist, Pierre de
5111 Boniface, the diamond rendered a man invisible, and the agate of India
5112 made him eloquent. The cornelian appeased anger, and the hyacinth
5113 provoked sleep, and the amethyst drove away the fumes of wine. The
5114 garnet cast out demons, and the hydropicus deprived the moon of her
5115 colour. The selenite waxed and waned with the moon, and the meloceus,
5116 that discovers thieves, could be affected only by the blood of kids.
5117 Leonardus Camillus had seen a white stone taken from the brain of a
5118 newly killed toad, that was a certain antidote against poison. The
5119 bezoar, that was found in the heart of the Arabian deer, was a charm
5120 that could cure the plague. In the nests of Arabian birds was the
5121 aspilates, that, according to Democritus, kept the wearer from any
5122 danger by fire.
5123
5124 The King of Ceilan rode through his city with a large ruby in his hand,
5125 as the ceremony of his coronation. The gates of the palace of John the
5126 Priest were "made of sardius, with the horn of the horned snake
5127 inwrought, so that no man might bring poison within." Over the gable
5128 were "two golden apples, in which were two carbuncles," so that the
5129 gold might shine by day and the carbuncles by night. In Lodge's
5130 strange romance 'A Margarite of America', it was stated that in the
5131 chamber of the queen one could behold "all the chaste ladies of the
5132 world, inchased out of silver, looking through fair mirrours of
5133 chrysolites, carbuncles, sapphires, and greene emeraults." Marco Polo
5134 had seen the inhabitants of Zipangu place rose-coloured pearls in the
5135 mouths of the dead. A sea-monster had been enamoured of the pearl that
5136 the diver brought to King Perozes, and had slain the thief, and mourned
5137 for seven moons over its loss. When the Huns lured the king into the
5138 great pit, he flung it away--Procopius tells the story--nor was it ever
5139 found again, though the Emperor Anastasius offered five hundred-weight
5140 of gold pieces for it. The King of Malabar had shown to a certain
5141 Venetian a rosary of three hundred and four pearls, one for every god
5142 that he worshipped.
5143
5144 When the Duke de Valentinois, son of Alexander VI, visited Louis XII of
5145 France, his horse was loaded with gold leaves, according to Brantome,
5146 and his cap had double rows of rubies that threw out a great light.
5147 Charles of England had ridden in stirrups hung with four hundred and
5148 twenty-one diamonds. Richard II had a coat, valued at thirty thousand
5149 marks, which was covered with balas rubies. Hall described Henry VIII,
5150 on his way to the Tower previous to his coronation, as wearing "a
5151 jacket of raised gold, the placard embroidered with diamonds and other
5152 rich stones, and a great bauderike about his neck of large balasses."
5153 The favourites of James I wore ear-rings of emeralds set in gold
5154 filigrane. Edward II gave to Piers Gaveston a suit of red-gold armour
5155 studded with jacinths, a collar of gold roses set with
5156 turquoise-stones, and a skull-cap _parseme_ with pearls. Henry II wore
5157 jewelled gloves reaching to the elbow, and had a hawk-glove sewn with
5158 twelve rubies and fifty-two great orients. The ducal hat of Charles
5159 the Rash, the last Duke of Burgundy of his race, was hung with
5160 pear-shaped pearls and studded with sapphires.
5161
5162 How exquisite life had once been! How gorgeous in its pomp and
5163 decoration! Even to read of the luxury of the dead was wonderful.
5164
5165 Then he turned his attention to embroideries and to the tapestries that
5166 performed the office of frescoes in the chill rooms of the northern
5167 nations of Europe. As he investigated the subject--and he always had
5168 an extraordinary faculty of becoming absolutely absorbed for the moment
5169 in whatever he took up--he was almost saddened by the reflection of the
5170 ruin that time brought on beautiful and wonderful things. He, at any
5171 rate, had escaped that. Summer followed summer, and the yellow
5172 jonquils bloomed and died many times, and nights of horror repeated the
5173 story of their shame, but he was unchanged. No winter marred his face
5174 or stained his flowerlike bloom. How different it was with material
5175 things! Where had they passed to? Where was the great crocus-coloured
5176 robe, on which the gods fought against the giants, that had been worked
5177 by brown girls for the pleasure of Athena? Where the huge velarium
5178 that Nero had stretched across the Colosseum at Rome, that Titan sail
5179 of purple on which was represented the starry sky, and Apollo driving a
5180 chariot drawn by white, gilt-reined steeds? He longed to see the
5181 curious table-napkins wrought for the Priest of the Sun, on which were
5182 displayed all the dainties and viands that could be wanted for a feast;
5183 the mortuary cloth of King Chilperic, with its three hundred golden
5184 bees; the fantastic robes that excited the indignation of the Bishop of
5185 Pontus and were figured with "lions, panthers, bears, dogs, forests,
5186 rocks, hunters--all, in fact, that a painter can copy from nature"; and
5187 the coat that Charles of Orleans once wore, on the sleeves of which
5188 were embroidered the verses of a song beginning "_Madame, je suis tout
5189 joyeux_," the musical accompaniment of the words being wrought in gold
5190 thread, and each note, of square shape in those days, formed with four
5191 pearls. He read of the room that was prepared at the palace at Rheims
5192 for the use of Queen Joan of Burgundy and was decorated with "thirteen
5193 hundred and twenty-one parrots, made in broidery, and blazoned with the
5194 king's arms, and five hundred and sixty-one butterflies, whose wings
5195 were similarly ornamented with the arms of the queen, the whole worked
5196 in gold." Catherine de Medicis had a mourning-bed made for her of
5197 black velvet powdered with crescents and suns. Its curtains were of
5198 damask, with leafy wreaths and garlands, figured upon a gold and silver
5199 ground, and fringed along the edges with broideries of pearls, and it
5200 stood in a room hung with rows of the queen's devices in cut black
5201 velvet upon cloth of silver. Louis XIV had gold embroidered caryatides
5202 fifteen feet high in his apartment. The state bed of Sobieski, King of
5203 Poland, was made of Smyrna gold brocade embroidered in turquoises with
5204 verses from the Koran. Its supports were of silver gilt, beautifully
5205 chased, and profusely set with enamelled and jewelled medallions. It
5206 had been taken from the Turkish camp before Vienna, and the standard of
5207 Mohammed had stood beneath the tremulous gilt of its canopy.
5208
5209 And so, for a whole year, he sought to accumulate the most exquisite
5210 specimens that he could find of textile and embroidered work, getting
5211 the dainty Delhi muslins, finely wrought with gold-thread palmates and
5212 stitched over with iridescent beetles' wings; the Dacca gauzes, that
5213 from their transparency are known in the East as "woven air," and
5214 "running water," and "evening dew"; strange figured cloths from Java;
5215 elaborate yellow Chinese hangings; books bound in tawny satins or fair
5216 blue silks and wrought with _fleurs-de-lis_, birds and images; veils of
5217 _lacis_ worked in Hungary point; Sicilian brocades and stiff Spanish
5218 velvets; Georgian work, with its gilt coins, and Japanese _Foukousas_,
5219 with their green-toned golds and their marvellously plumaged birds.
5220
5221 He had a special passion, also, for ecclesiastical vestments, as indeed
5222 he had for everything connected with the service of the Church. In the
5223 long cedar chests that lined the west gallery of his house, he had
5224 stored away many rare and beautiful specimens of what is really the
5225 raiment of the Bride of Christ, who must wear purple and jewels and
5226 fine linen that she may hide the pallid macerated body that is worn by
5227 the suffering that she seeks for and wounded by self-inflicted pain.
5228 He possessed a gorgeous cope of crimson silk and gold-thread damask,
5229 figured with a repeating pattern of golden pomegranates set in
5230 six-petalled formal blossoms, beyond which on either side was the
5231 pine-apple device wrought in seed-pearls. The orphreys were divided
5232 into panels representing scenes from the life of the Virgin, and the
5233 coronation of the Virgin was figured in coloured silks upon the hood.
5234 This was Italian work of the fifteenth century. Another cope was of
5235 green velvet, embroidered with heart-shaped groups of acanthus-leaves,
5236 from which spread long-stemmed white blossoms, the details of which
5237 were picked out with silver thread and coloured crystals. The morse
5238 bore a seraph's head in gold-thread raised work. The orphreys were
5239 woven in a diaper of red and gold silk, and were starred with
5240 medallions of many saints and martyrs, among whom was St. Sebastian.
5241 He had chasubles, also, of amber-coloured silk, and blue silk and gold
5242 brocade, and yellow silk damask and cloth of gold, figured with
5243 representations of the Passion and Crucifixion of Christ, and
5244 embroidered with lions and peacocks and other emblems; dalmatics of
5245 white satin and pink silk damask, decorated with tulips and dolphins
5246 and _fleurs-de-lis_; altar frontals of crimson velvet and blue linen; and
5247 many corporals, chalice-veils, and sudaria. In the mystic offices to
5248 which such things were put, there was something that quickened his
5249 imagination.
5250
5251 For these treasures, and everything that he collected in his lovely
5252 house, were to be to him means of forgetfulness, modes by which he
5253 could escape, for a season, from the fear that seemed to him at times
5254 to be almost too great to be borne. Upon the walls of the lonely
5255 locked room where he had spent so much of his boyhood, he had hung with
5256 his own hands the terrible portrait whose changing features showed him
5257 the real degradation of his life, and in front of it had draped the
5258 purple-and-gold pall as a curtain. For weeks he would not go there,
5259 would forget the hideous painted thing, and get back his light heart,
5260 his wonderful joyousness, his passionate absorption in mere existence.
5261 Then, suddenly, some night he would creep out of the house, go down to
5262 dreadful places near Blue Gate Fields, and stay there, day after day,
5263 until he was driven away. On his return he would sit in front of the
5264 picture, sometimes loathing it and himself, but filled, at other
5265 times, with that pride of individualism that is half the
5266 fascination of sin, and smiling with secret pleasure at the misshapen
5267 shadow that had to bear the burden that should have been his own.
5268
5269 After a few years he could not endure to be long out of England, and
5270 gave up the villa that he had shared at Trouville with Lord Henry, as
5271 well as the little white walled-in house at Algiers where they had more
5272 than once spent the winter. He hated to be separated from the picture
5273 that was such a part of his life, and was also afraid that during his
5274 absence some one might gain access to the room, in spite of the
5275 elaborate bars that he had caused to be placed upon the door.
5276
5277 He was quite conscious that this would tell them nothing. It was true
5278 that the portrait still preserved, under all the foulness and ugliness
5279 of the face, its marked likeness to himself; but what could they learn
5280 from that? He would laugh at any one who tried to taunt him. He had
5281 not painted it. What was it to him how vile and full of shame it
5282 looked? Even if he told them, would they believe it?
5283
5284 Yet he was afraid. Sometimes when he was down at his great house in
5285 Nottinghamshire, entertaining the fashionable young men of his own rank
5286 who were his chief companions, and astounding the county by the wanton
5287 luxury and gorgeous splendour of his mode of life, he would suddenly
5288 leave his guests and rush back to town to see that the door had not
5289 been tampered with and that the picture was still there. What if it
5290 should be stolen? The mere thought made him cold with horror. Surely
5291 the world would know his secret then. Perhaps the world already
5292 suspected it.
5293
5294 For, while he fascinated many, there were not a few who distrusted him.
5295 He was very nearly blackballed at a West End club of which his birth
5296 and social position fully entitled him to become a member, and it was
5297 said that on one occasion, when he was brought by a friend into the
5298 smoking-room of the Churchill, the Duke of Berwick and another
5299 gentleman got up in a marked manner and went out. Curious stories
5300 became current about him after he had passed his twenty-fifth year. It
5301 was rumoured that he had been seen brawling with foreign sailors in a
5302 low den in the distant parts of Whitechapel, and that he consorted with
5303 thieves and coiners and knew the mysteries of their trade. His
5304 extraordinary absences became notorious, and, when he used to reappear
5305 again in society, men would whisper to each other in corners, or pass
5306 him with a sneer, or look at him with cold searching eyes, as though
5307 they were determined to discover his secret.
5308
5309 Of such insolences and attempted slights he, of course, took no notice,
5310 and in the opinion of most people his frank debonair manner, his
5311 charming boyish smile, and the infinite grace of that wonderful youth
5312 that seemed never to leave him, were in themselves a sufficient answer
5313 to the calumnies, for so they termed them, that were circulated about
5314 him. It was remarked, however, that some of those who had been most
5315 intimate with him appeared, after a time, to shun him. Women who had
5316 wildly adored him, and for his sake had braved all social censure and
5317 set convention at defiance, were seen to grow pallid with shame or
5318 horror if Dorian Gray entered the room.
5319
5320 Yet these whispered scandals only increased in the eyes of many his
5321 strange and dangerous charm. His great wealth was a certain element of
5322 security. Society--civilized society, at least--is never very ready to
5323 believe anything to the detriment of those who are both rich and
5324 fascinating. It feels instinctively that manners are of more
5325 importance than morals, and, in its opinion, the highest respectability
5326 is of much less value than the possession of a good _chef_. And, after
5327 all, it is a very poor consolation to be told that the man who has
5328 given one a bad dinner, or poor wine, is irreproachable in his private
5329 life. Even the cardinal virtues cannot atone for half-cold _entrees_, as
5330 Lord Henry remarked once, in a discussion on the subject, and there is
5331 possibly a good deal to be said for his view. For the canons of good
5332 society are, or should be, the same as the canons of art. Form is
5333 absolutely essential to it. It should have the dignity of a ceremony,
5334 as well as its unreality, and should combine the insincere character of
5335 a romantic play with the wit and beauty that make such plays delightful
5336 to us. Is insincerity such a terrible thing? I think not. It is
5337 merely a method by which we can multiply our personalities.
5338
5339 Such, at any rate, was Dorian Gray's opinion. He used to wonder at the
5340 shallow psychology of those who conceive the ego in man as a thing
5341 simple, permanent, reliable, and of one essence. To him, man was a
5342 being with myriad lives and myriad sensations, a complex multiform
5343 creature that bore within itself strange legacies of thought and
5344 passion, and whose very flesh was tainted with the monstrous maladies
5345 of the dead. He loved to stroll through the gaunt cold picture-gallery
5346 of his country house and look at the various portraits of those whose
5347 blood flowed in his veins. Here was Philip Herbert, described by
5348 Francis Osborne, in his Memoires on the Reigns of Queen Elizabeth and
5349 King James, as one who was "caressed by the Court for his handsome
5350 face, which kept him not long company." Was it young Herbert's life
5351 that he sometimes led? Had some strange poisonous germ crept from body
5352 to body till it had reached his own? Was it some dim sense of that
5353 ruined grace that had made him so suddenly, and almost without cause,
5354 give utterance, in Basil Hallward's studio, to the mad prayer that had
5355 so changed his life? Here, in gold-embroidered red doublet, jewelled
5356 surcoat, and gilt-edged ruff and wristbands, stood Sir Anthony Sherard,
5357 with his silver-and-black armour piled at his feet. What had this
5358 man's legacy been? Had the lover of Giovanna of Naples bequeathed him
5359 some inheritance of sin and shame? Were his own actions merely the
5360 dreams that the dead man had not dared to realize? Here, from the
5361 fading canvas, smiled Lady Elizabeth Devereux, in her gauze hood, pearl
5362 stomacher, and pink slashed sleeves. A flower was in her right hand,
5363 and her left clasped an enamelled collar of white and damask roses. On
5364 a table by her side lay a mandolin and an apple. There were large
5365 green rosettes upon her little pointed shoes. He knew her life, and
5366 the strange stories that were told about her lovers. Had he something
5367 of her temperament in him? These oval, heavy-lidded eyes seemed to
5368 look curiously at him. What of George Willoughby, with his powdered
5369 hair and fantastic patches? How evil he looked! The face was
5370 saturnine and swarthy, and the sensual lips seemed to be twisted with
5371 disdain. Delicate lace ruffles fell over the lean yellow hands that
5372 were so overladen with rings. He had been a macaroni of the eighteenth
5373 century, and the friend, in his youth, of Lord Ferrars. What of the
5374 second Lord Beckenham, the companion of the Prince Regent in his
5375 wildest days, and one of the witnesses at the secret marriage with Mrs.
5376 Fitzherbert? How proud and handsome he was, with his chestnut curls
5377 and insolent pose! What passions had he bequeathed? The world had
5378 looked upon him as infamous. He had led the orgies at Carlton House.
5379 The star of the Garter glittered upon his breast. Beside him hung the
5380 portrait of his wife, a pallid, thin-lipped woman in black. Her blood,
5381 also, stirred within him. How curious it all seemed! And his mother
5382 with her Lady Hamilton face and her moist, wine-dashed lips--he knew
5383 what he had got from her. He had got from her his beauty, and his
5384 passion for the beauty of others. She laughed at him in her loose
5385 Bacchante dress. There were vine leaves in her hair. The purple
5386 spilled from the cup she was holding. The carnations of the painting
5387 had withered, but the eyes were still wonderful in their depth and
5388 brilliancy of colour. They seemed to follow him wherever he went.
5389
5390 Yet one had ancestors in literature as well as in one's own race,
5391 nearer perhaps in type and temperament, many of them, and certainly
5392 with an influence of which one was more absolutely conscious. There
5393 were times when it appeared to Dorian Gray that the whole of history
5394 was merely the record of his own life, not as he had lived it in act
5395 and circumstance, but as his imagination had created it for him, as it
5396 had been in his brain and in his passions. He felt that he had known
5397 them all, those strange terrible figures that had passed across the
5398 stage of the world and made sin so marvellous and evil so full of
5399 subtlety. It seemed to him that in some mysterious way their lives had
5400 been his own.
5401
5402 The hero of the wonderful novel that had so influenced his life had
5403 himself known this curious fancy. In the seventh chapter he tells how,
5404 crowned with laurel, lest lightning might strike him, he had sat, as
5405 Tiberius, in a garden at Capri, reading the shameful books of
5406 Elephantis, while dwarfs and peacocks strutted round him and the
5407 flute-player mocked the swinger of the censer; and, as Caligula, had
5408 caroused with the green-shirted jockeys in their stables and supped in
5409 an ivory manger with a jewel-frontleted horse; and, as Domitian, had
5410 wandered through a corridor lined with marble mirrors, looking round
5411 with haggard eyes for the reflection of the dagger that was to end his
5412 days, and sick with that ennui, that terrible _taedium vitae_, that comes
5413 on those to whom life denies nothing; and had peered through a clear
5414 emerald at the red shambles of the circus and then, in a litter of
5415 pearl and purple drawn by silver-shod mules, been carried through the
5416 Street of Pomegranates to a House of Gold and heard men cry on Nero
5417 Caesar as he passed by; and, as Elagabalus, had painted his face with
5418 colours, and plied the distaff among the women, and brought the Moon
5419 from Carthage and given her in mystic marriage to the Sun.
5420
5421 Over and over again Dorian used to read this fantastic chapter, and the
5422 two chapters immediately following, in which, as in some curious
5423 tapestries or cunningly wrought enamels, were pictured the awful and
5424 beautiful forms of those whom vice and blood and weariness had made
5425 monstrous or mad: Filippo, Duke of Milan, who slew his wife and
5426 painted her lips with a scarlet poison that her lover might suck death
5427 from the dead thing he fondled; Pietro Barbi, the Venetian, known as
5428 Paul the Second, who sought in his vanity to assume the title of
5429 Formosus, and whose tiara, valued at two hundred thousand florins, was
5430 bought at the price of a terrible sin; Gian Maria Visconti, who used
5431 hounds to chase living men and whose murdered body was covered with
5432 roses by a harlot who had loved him; the Borgia on his white horse,
5433 with Fratricide riding beside him and his mantle stained with the blood
5434 of Perotto; Pietro Riario, the young Cardinal Archbishop of Florence,
5435 child and minion of Sixtus IV, whose beauty was equalled only by his
5436 debauchery, and who received Leonora of Aragon in a pavilion of white
5437 and crimson silk, filled with nymphs and centaurs, and gilded a boy
5438 that he might serve at the feast as Ganymede or Hylas; Ezzelin, whose
5439 melancholy could be cured only by the spectacle of death, and who had a
5440 passion for red blood, as other men have for red wine--the son of the
5441 Fiend, as was reported, and one who had cheated his father at dice when
5442 gambling with him for his own soul; Giambattista Cibo, who in mockery
5443 took the name of Innocent and into whose torpid veins the blood of
5444 three lads was infused by a Jewish doctor; Sigismondo Malatesta, the
5445 lover of Isotta and the lord of Rimini, whose effigy was burned at Rome
5446 as the enemy of God and man, who strangled Polyssena with a napkin, and
5447 gave poison to Ginevra d'Este in a cup of emerald, and in honour of a
5448 shameful passion built a pagan church for Christian worship; Charles
5449 VI, who had so wildly adored his brother's wife that a leper had warned
5450 him of the insanity that was coming on him, and who, when his brain had
5451 sickened and grown strange, could only be soothed by Saracen cards
5452 painted with the images of love and death and madness; and, in his
5453 trimmed jerkin and jewelled cap and acanthuslike curls, Grifonetto
5454 Baglioni, who slew Astorre with his bride, and Simonetto with his page,
5455 and whose comeliness was such that, as he lay dying in the yellow
5456 piazza of Perugia, those who had hated him could not choose but weep,
5457 and Atalanta, who had cursed him, blessed him.
5458
5459 There was a horrible fascination in them all. He saw them at night,
5460 and they troubled his imagination in the day. The Renaissance knew of
5461 strange manners of poisoning--poisoning by a helmet and a lighted
5462 torch, by an embroidered glove and a jewelled fan, by a gilded pomander
5463 and by an amber chain. Dorian Gray had been poisoned by a book. There
5464 were moments when he looked on evil simply as a mode through which he
5465 could realize his conception of the beautiful.
5466
5467
5468
5469 CHAPTER 12
5470
5471 It was on the ninth of November, the eve of his own thirty-eighth
5472 birthday, as he often remembered afterwards.
5473
5474 He was walking home about eleven o'clock from Lord Henry's, where he
5475 had been dining, and was wrapped in heavy furs, as the night was cold
5476 and foggy. At the corner of Grosvenor Square and South Audley Street,
5477 a man passed him in the mist, walking very fast and with the collar of
5478 his grey ulster turned up. He had a bag in his hand. Dorian
5479 recognized him. It was Basil Hallward. A strange sense of fear, for
5480 which he could not account, came over him. He made no sign of
5481 recognition and went on quickly in the direction of his own house.
5482
5483 But Hallward had seen him. Dorian heard him first stopping on the
5484 pavement and then hurrying after him. In a few moments, his hand was
5485 on his arm.
5486
5487 "Dorian! What an extraordinary piece of luck! I have been waiting for
5488 you in your library ever since nine o'clock. Finally I took pity on
5489 your tired servant and told him to go to bed, as he let me out. I am
5490 off to Paris by the midnight train, and I particularly wanted to see
5491 you before I left. I thought it was you, or rather your fur coat, as
5492 you passed me. But I wasn't quite sure. Didn't you recognize me?"
5493
5494 "In this fog, my dear Basil? Why, I can't even recognize Grosvenor
5495 Square. I believe my house is somewhere about here, but I don't feel
5496 at all certain about it. I am sorry you are going away, as I have not
5497 seen you for ages. But I suppose you will be back soon?"
5498
5499 "No: I am going to be out of England for six months. I intend to take
5500 a studio in Paris and shut myself up till I have finished a great
5501 picture I have in my head. However, it wasn't about myself I wanted to
5502 talk. Here we are at your door. Let me come in for a moment. I have
5503 something to say to you."
5504
5505 "I shall be charmed. But won't you miss your train?" said Dorian Gray
5506 languidly as he passed up the steps and opened the door with his
5507 latch-key.
5508
5509 The lamplight struggled out through the fog, and Hallward looked at his
5510 watch. "I have heaps of time," he answered. "The train doesn't go
5511 till twelve-fifteen, and it is only just eleven. In fact, I was on my
5512 way to the club to look for you, when I met you. You see, I shan't
5513 have any delay about luggage, as I have sent on my heavy things. All I
5514 have with me is in this bag, and I can easily get to Victoria in twenty
5515 minutes."
5516
5517 Dorian looked at him and smiled. "What a way for a fashionable painter
5518 to travel! A Gladstone bag and an ulster! Come in, or the fog will
5519 get into the house. And mind you don't talk about anything serious.
5520 Nothing is serious nowadays. At least nothing should be."
5521
5522 Hallward shook his head, as he entered, and followed Dorian into the
5523 library. There was a bright wood fire blazing in the large open
5524 hearth. The lamps were lit, and an open Dutch silver spirit-case
5525 stood, with some siphons of soda-water and large cut-glass tumblers, on
5526 a little marqueterie table.
5527
5528 "You see your servant made me quite at home, Dorian. He gave me
5529 everything I wanted, including your best gold-tipped cigarettes. He is
5530 a most hospitable creature. I like him much better than the Frenchman
5531 you used to have. What has become of the Frenchman, by the bye?"
5532
5533 Dorian shrugged his shoulders. "I believe he married Lady Radley's
5534 maid, and has established her in Paris as an English dressmaker.
5535 Anglomania is very fashionable over there now, I hear. It seems silly
5536 of the French, doesn't it? But--do you know?--he was not at all a bad
5537 servant. I never liked him, but I had nothing to complain about. One
5538 often imagines things that are quite absurd. He was really very
5539 devoted to me and seemed quite sorry when he went away. Have another
5540 brandy-and-soda? Or would you like hock-and-seltzer? I always take
5541 hock-and-seltzer myself. There is sure to be some in the next room."
5542
5543 "Thanks, I won't have anything more," said the painter, taking his cap
5544 and coat off and throwing them on the bag that he had placed in the
5545 corner. "And now, my dear fellow, I want to speak to you seriously.
5546 Don't frown like that. You make it so much more difficult for me."
5547
5548 "What is it all about?" cried Dorian in his petulant way, flinging
5549 himself down on the sofa. "I hope it is not about myself. I am tired
5550 of myself to-night. I should like to be somebody else."
5551
5552 "It is about yourself," answered Hallward in his grave deep voice, "and
5553 I must say it to you. I shall only keep you half an hour."
5554
5555 Dorian sighed and lit a cigarette. "Half an hour!" he murmured.
5556
5557 "It is not much to ask of you, Dorian, and it is entirely for your own
5558 sake that I am speaking. I think it right that you should know that
5559 the most dreadful things are being said against you in London."
5560
5561 "I don't wish to know anything about them. I love scandals about other
5562 people, but scandals about myself don't interest me. They have not got
5563 the charm of novelty."
5564
5565 "They must interest you, Dorian. Every gentleman is interested in his
5566 good name. You don't want people to talk of you as something vile and
5567 degraded. Of course, you have your position, and your wealth, and all
5568 that kind of thing. But position and wealth are not everything. Mind
5569 you, I don't believe these rumours at all. At least, I can't believe
5570 them when I see you. Sin is a thing that writes itself across a man's
5571 face. It cannot be concealed. People talk sometimes of secret vices.
5572 There are no such things. If a wretched man has a vice, it shows
5573 itself in the lines of his mouth, the droop of his eyelids, the
5574 moulding of his hands even. Somebody--I won't mention his name, but
5575 you know him--came to me last year to have his portrait done. I had
5576 never seen him before, and had never heard anything about him at the
5577 time, though I have heard a good deal since. He offered an extravagant
5578 price. I refused him. There was something in the shape of his fingers
5579 that I hated. I know now that I was quite right in what I fancied
5580 about him. His life is dreadful. But you, Dorian, with your pure,
5581 bright, innocent face, and your marvellous untroubled youth--I can't
5582 believe anything against you. And yet I see you very seldom, and you
5583 never come down to the studio now, and when I am away from you, and I
5584 hear all these hideous things that people are whispering about you, I
5585 don't know what to say. Why is it, Dorian, that a man like the Duke of
5586 Berwick leaves the room of a club when you enter it? Why is it that so
5587 many gentlemen in London will neither go to your house or invite you to
5588 theirs? You used to be a friend of Lord Staveley. I met him at dinner
5589 last week. Your name happened to come up in conversation, in
5590 connection with the miniatures you have lent to the exhibition at the
5591 Dudley. Staveley curled his lip and said that you might have the most
5592 artistic tastes, but that you were a man whom no pure-minded girl
5593 should be allowed to know, and whom no chaste woman should sit in the
5594 same room with. I reminded him that I was a friend of yours, and asked
5595 him what he meant. He told me. He told me right out before everybody.
5596 It was horrible! Why is your friendship so fatal to young men? There
5597 was that wretched boy in the Guards who committed suicide. You were
5598 his great friend. There was Sir Henry Ashton, who had to leave England
5599 with a tarnished name. You and he were inseparable. What about Adrian
5600 Singleton and his dreadful end? What about Lord Kent's only son and
5601 his career? I met his father yesterday in St. James's Street. He
5602 seemed broken with shame and sorrow. What about the young Duke of
5603 Perth? What sort of life has he got now? What gentleman would
5604 associate with him?"
5605
5606 "Stop, Basil. You are talking about things of which you know nothing,"
5607 said Dorian Gray, biting his lip, and with a note of infinite contempt
5608 in his voice. "You ask me why Berwick leaves a room when I enter it.
5609 It is because I know everything about his life, not because he knows
5610 anything about mine. With such blood as he has in his veins, how could
5611 his record be clean? You ask me about Henry Ashton and young Perth.
5612 Did I teach the one his vices, and the other his debauchery? If Kent's
5613 silly son takes his wife from the streets, what is that to me? If
5614 Adrian Singleton writes his friend's name across a bill, am I his
5615 keeper? I know how people chatter in England. The middle classes air
5616 their moral prejudices over their gross dinner-tables, and whisper
5617 about what they call the profligacies of their betters in order to try
5618 and pretend that they are in smart society and on intimate terms with
5619 the people they slander. In this country, it is enough for a man to
5620 have distinction and brains for every common tongue to wag against him.
5621 And what sort of lives do these people, who pose as being moral, lead
5622 themselves? My dear fellow, you forget that we are in the native land
5623 of the hypocrite."
5624
5625 "Dorian," cried Hallward, "that is not the question. England is bad
5626 enough I know, and English society is all wrong. That is the reason
5627 why I want you to be fine. You have not been fine. One has a right to
5628 judge of a man by the effect he has over his friends. Yours seem to
5629 lose all sense of honour, of goodness, of purity. You have filled them
5630 with a madness for pleasure. They have gone down into the depths. You
5631 led them there. Yes: you led them there, and yet you can smile, as
5632 you are smiling now. And there is worse behind. I know you and Harry
5633 are inseparable. Surely for that reason, if for none other, you should
5634 not have made his sister's name a by-word."
5635
5636 "Take care, Basil. You go too far."
5637
5638 "I must speak, and you must listen. You shall listen. When you met
5639 Lady Gwendolen, not a breath of scandal had ever touched her. Is there
5640 a single decent woman in London now who would drive with her in the
5641 park? Why, even her children are not allowed to live with her. Then
5642 there are other stories--stories that you have been seen creeping at
5643 dawn out of dreadful houses and slinking in disguise into the foulest
5644 dens in London. Are they true? Can they be true? When I first heard
5645 them, I laughed. I hear them now, and they make me shudder. What
5646 about your country-house and the life that is led there? Dorian, you
5647 don't know what is said about you. I won't tell you that I don't want
5648 to preach to you. I remember Harry saying once that every man who
5649 turned himself into an amateur curate for the moment always began by
5650 saying that, and then proceeded to break his word. I do want to preach
5651 to you. I want you to lead such a life as will make the world respect
5652 you. I want you to have a clean name and a fair record. I want you to
5653 get rid of the dreadful people you associate with. Don't shrug your
5654 shoulders like that. Don't be so indifferent. You have a wonderful
5655 influence. Let it be for good, not for evil. They say that you
5656 corrupt every one with whom you become intimate, and that it is quite
5657 sufficient for you to enter a house for shame of some kind to follow
5658 after. I don't know whether it is so or not. How should I know? But
5659 it is said of you. I am told things that it seems impossible to doubt.
5660 Lord Gloucester was one of my greatest friends at Oxford. He showed me
5661 a letter that his wife had written to him when she was dying alone in
5662 her villa at Mentone. Your name was implicated in the most terrible
5663 confession I ever read. I told him that it was absurd--that I knew you
5664 thoroughly and that you were incapable of anything of the kind. Know
5665 you? I wonder do I know you? Before I could answer that, I should
5666 have to see your soul."
5667
5668 "To see my soul!" muttered Dorian Gray, starting up from the sofa and
5669 turning almost white from fear.
5670
5671 "Yes," answered Hallward gravely, and with deep-toned sorrow in his
5672 voice, "to see your soul. But only God can do that."
5673
5674 A bitter laugh of mockery broke from the lips of the younger man. "You
5675 shall see it yourself, to-night!" he cried, seizing a lamp from the
5676 table. "Come: it is your own handiwork. Why shouldn't you look at
5677 it? You can tell the world all about it afterwards, if you choose.
5678 Nobody would believe you. If they did believe you, they would like me
5679 all the better for it. I know the age better than you do, though you
5680 will prate about it so tediously. Come, I tell you. You have
5681 chattered enough about corruption. Now you shall look on it face to
5682 face."
5683
5684 There was the madness of pride in every word he uttered. He stamped
5685 his foot upon the ground in his boyish insolent manner. He felt a
5686 terrible joy at the thought that some one else was to share his secret,
5687 and that the man who had painted the portrait that was the origin of
5688 all his shame was to be burdened for the rest of his life with the
5689 hideous memory of what he had done.
5690
5691 "Yes," he continued, coming closer to him and looking steadfastly into
5692 his stern eyes, "I shall show you my soul. You shall see the thing
5693 that you fancy only God can see."
5694
5695 Hallward started back. "This is blasphemy, Dorian!" he cried. "You
5696 must not say things like that. They are horrible, and they don't mean
5697 anything."
5698
5699 "You think so?" He laughed again.
5700
5701 "I know so. As for what I said to you to-night, I said it for your
5702 good. You know I have been always a stanch friend to you."
5703
5704 "Don't touch me. Finish what you have to say."
5705
5706 A twisted flash of pain shot across the painter's face. He paused for
5707 a moment, and a wild feeling of pity came over him. After all, what
5708 right had he to pry into the life of Dorian Gray? If he had done a
5709 tithe of what was rumoured about him, how much he must have suffered!
5710 Then he straightened himself up, and walked over to the fire-place, and
5711 stood there, looking at the burning logs with their frostlike ashes and
5712 their throbbing cores of flame.
5713
5714 "I am waiting, Basil," said the young man in a hard clear voice.
5715
5716 He turned round. "What I have to say is this," he cried. "You must
5717 give me some answer to these horrible charges that are made against
5718 you. If you tell me that they are absolutely untrue from beginning to
5719 end, I shall believe you. Deny them, Dorian, deny them! Can't you see
5720 what I am going through? My God! don't tell me that you are bad, and
5721 corrupt, and shameful."
5722
5723 Dorian Gray smiled. There was a curl of contempt in his lips. "Come
5724 upstairs, Basil," he said quietly. "I keep a diary of my life from day
5725 to day, and it never leaves the room in which it is written. I shall
5726 show it to you if you come with me."
5727
5728 "I shall come with you, Dorian, if you wish it. I see I have missed my
5729 train. That makes no matter. I can go to-morrow. But don't ask me to
5730 read anything to-night. All I want is a plain answer to my question."
5731
5732 "That shall be given to you upstairs. I could not give it here. You
5733 will not have to read long."
5734
5735
5736
5737 CHAPTER 13
5738
5739 He passed out of the room and began the ascent, Basil Hallward
5740 following close behind. They walked softly, as men do instinctively at
5741 night. The lamp cast fantastic shadows on the wall and staircase. A
5742 rising wind made some of the windows rattle.
5743
5744 When they reached the top landing, Dorian set the lamp down on the
5745 floor, and taking out the key, turned it in the lock. "You insist on
5746 knowing, Basil?" he asked in a low voice.
5747
5748 "Yes."
5749
5750 "I am delighted," he answered, smiling. Then he added, somewhat
5751 harshly, "You are the one man in the world who is entitled to know
5752 everything about me. You have had more to do with my life than you
5753 think"; and, taking up the lamp, he opened the door and went in. A
5754 cold current of air passed them, and the light shot up for a moment in
5755 a flame of murky orange. He shuddered. "Shut the door behind you," he
5756 whispered, as he placed the lamp on the table.
5757
5758 Hallward glanced round him with a puzzled expression. The room looked
5759 as if it had not been lived in for years. A faded Flemish tapestry, a
5760 curtained picture, an old Italian _cassone_, and an almost empty
5761 book-case--that was all that it seemed to contain, besides a chair and
5762 a table. As Dorian Gray was lighting a half-burned candle that was
5763 standing on the mantelshelf, he saw that the whole place was covered
5764 with dust and that the carpet was in holes. A mouse ran scuffling
5765 behind the wainscoting. There was a damp odour of mildew.
5766
5767 "So you think that it is only God who sees the soul, Basil? Draw that
5768 curtain back, and you will see mine."
5769
5770 The voice that spoke was cold and cruel. "You are mad, Dorian, or
5771 playing a part," muttered Hallward, frowning.
5772
5773 "You won't? Then I must do it myself," said the young man, and he tore
5774 the curtain from its rod and flung it on the ground.
5775
5776 An exclamation of horror broke from the painter's lips as he saw in the
5777 dim light the hideous face on the canvas grinning at him. There was
5778 something in its expression that filled him with disgust and loathing.
5779 Good heavens! it was Dorian Gray's own face that he was looking at!
5780 The horror, whatever it was, had not yet entirely spoiled that
5781 marvellous beauty. There was still some gold in the thinning hair and
5782 some scarlet on the sensual mouth. The sodden eyes had kept something
5783 of the loveliness of their blue, the noble curves had not yet
5784 completely passed away from chiselled nostrils and from plastic throat.
5785 Yes, it was Dorian himself. But who had done it? He seemed to
5786 recognize his own brushwork, and the frame was his own design. The
5787 idea was monstrous, yet he felt afraid. He seized the lighted candle,
5788 and held it to the picture. In the left-hand corner was his own name,
5789 traced in long letters of bright vermilion.
5790
5791 It was some foul parody, some infamous ignoble satire. He had never
5792 done that. Still, it was his own picture. He knew it, and he felt as
5793 if his blood had changed in a moment from fire to sluggish ice. His
5794 own picture! What did it mean? Why had it altered? He turned and
5795 looked at Dorian Gray with the eyes of a sick man. His mouth twitched,
5796 and his parched tongue seemed unable to articulate. He passed his hand
5797 across his forehead. It was dank with clammy sweat.
5798
5799 The young man was leaning against the mantelshelf, watching him with
5800 that strange expression that one sees on the faces of those who are
5801 absorbed in a play when some great artist is acting. There was neither
5802 real sorrow in it nor real joy. There was simply the passion of the
5803 spectator, with perhaps a flicker of triumph in his eyes. He had taken
5804 the flower out of his coat, and was smelling it, or pretending to do so.
5805
5806 "What does this mean?" cried Hallward, at last. His own voice sounded
5807 shrill and curious in his ears.
5808
5809 "Years ago, when I was a boy," said Dorian Gray, crushing the flower in
5810 his hand, "you met me, flattered me, and taught me to be vain of my
5811 good looks. One day you introduced me to a friend of yours, who
5812 explained to me the wonder of youth, and you finished a portrait of me
5813 that revealed to me the wonder of beauty. In a mad moment that, even
5814 now, I don't know whether I regret or not, I made a wish, perhaps you
5815 would call it a prayer...."
5816
5817 "I remember it! Oh, how well I remember it! No! the thing is
5818 impossible. The room is damp. Mildew has got into the canvas. The
5819 paints I used had some wretched mineral poison in them. I tell you the
5820 thing is impossible."
5821
5822 "Ah, what is impossible?" murmured the young man, going over to the
5823 window and leaning his forehead against the cold, mist-stained glass.
5824
5825 "You told me you had destroyed it."
5826
5827 "I was wrong. It has destroyed me."
5828
5829 "I don't believe it is my picture."
5830
5831 "Can't you see your ideal in it?" said Dorian bitterly.
5832
5833 "My ideal, as you call it..."
5834
5835 "As you called it."
5836
5837 "There was nothing evil in it, nothing shameful. You were to me such
5838 an ideal as I shall never meet again. This is the face of a satyr."
5839
5840 "It is the face of my soul."
5841
5842 "Christ! what a thing I must have worshipped! It has the eyes of a
5843 devil."
5844
5845 "Each of us has heaven and hell in him, Basil," cried Dorian with a
5846 wild gesture of despair.
5847
5848 Hallward turned again to the portrait and gazed at it. "My God! If it
5849 is true," he exclaimed, "and this is what you have done with your life,
5850 why, you must be worse even than those who talk against you fancy you
5851 to be!" He held the light up again to the canvas and examined it. The
5852 surface seemed to be quite undisturbed and as he had left it. It was
5853 from within, apparently, that the foulness and horror had come.
5854 Through some strange quickening of inner life the leprosies of sin were
5855 slowly eating the thing away. The rotting of a corpse in a watery
5856 grave was not so fearful.
5857
5858 His hand shook, and the candle fell from its socket on the floor and
5859 lay there sputtering. He placed his foot on it and put it out. Then
5860 he flung himself into the rickety chair that was standing by the table
5861 and buried his face in his hands.
5862
5863 "Good God, Dorian, what a lesson! What an awful lesson!" There was no
5864 answer, but he could hear the young man sobbing at the window. "Pray,
5865 Dorian, pray," he murmured. "What is it that one was taught to say in
5866 one's boyhood? 'Lead us not into temptation. Forgive us our sins.
5867 Wash away our iniquities.' Let us say that together. The prayer of
5868 your pride has been answered. The prayer of your repentance will be
5869 answered also. I worshipped you too much. I am punished for it. You
5870 worshipped yourself too much. We are both punished."
5871
5872 Dorian Gray turned slowly around and looked at him with tear-dimmed
5873 eyes. "It is too late, Basil," he faltered.
5874
5875 "It is never too late, Dorian. Let us kneel down and try if we cannot
5876 remember a prayer. Isn't there a verse somewhere, 'Though your sins be
5877 as scarlet, yet I will make them as white as snow'?"
5878
5879 "Those words mean nothing to me now."
5880
5881 "Hush! Don't say that. You have done enough evil in your life. My
5882 God! Don't you see that accursed thing leering at us?"
5883
5884 Dorian Gray glanced at the picture, and suddenly an uncontrollable
5885 feeling of hatred for Basil Hallward came over him, as though it had
5886 been suggested to him by the image on the canvas, whispered into his
5887 ear by those grinning lips. The mad passions of a hunted animal
5888 stirred within him, and he loathed the man who was seated at the table,
5889 more than in his whole life he had ever loathed anything. He glanced
5890 wildly around. Something glimmered on the top of the painted chest
5891 that faced him. His eye fell on it. He knew what it was. It was a
5892 knife that he had brought up, some days before, to cut a piece of cord,
5893 and had forgotten to take away with him. He moved slowly towards it,
5894 passing Hallward as he did so. As soon as he got behind him, he seized
5895 it and turned round. Hallward stirred in his chair as if he was going
5896 to rise. He rushed at him and dug the knife into the great vein that
5897 is behind the ear, crushing the man's head down on the table and
5898 stabbing again and again.
5899
5900 There was a stifled groan and the horrible sound of some one choking
5901 with blood. Three times the outstretched arms shot up convulsively,
5902 waving grotesque, stiff-fingered hands in the air. He stabbed him
5903 twice more, but the man did not move. Something began to trickle on
5904 the floor. He waited for a moment, still pressing the head down. Then
5905 he threw the knife on the table, and listened.
5906
5907 He could hear nothing, but the drip, drip on the threadbare carpet. He
5908 opened the door and went out on the landing. The house was absolutely
5909 quiet. No one was about. For a few seconds he stood bending over the
5910 balustrade and peering down into the black seething well of darkness.
5911 Then he took out the key and returned to the room, locking himself in
5912 as he did so.
5913
5914 The thing was still seated in the chair, straining over the table with
5915 bowed head, and humped back, and long fantastic arms. Had it not been
5916 for the red jagged tear in the neck and the clotted black pool that was
5917 slowly widening on the table, one would have said that the man was
5918 simply asleep.
5919
5920 How quickly it had all been done! He felt strangely calm, and walking
5921 over to the window, opened it and stepped out on the balcony. The wind
5922 had blown the fog away, and the sky was like a monstrous peacock's
5923 tail, starred with myriads of golden eyes. He looked down and saw the
5924 policeman going his rounds and flashing the long beam of his lantern on
5925 the doors of the silent houses. The crimson spot of a prowling hansom
5926 gleamed at the corner and then vanished. A woman in a fluttering shawl
5927 was creeping slowly by the railings, staggering as she went. Now and
5928 then she stopped and peered back. Once, she began to sing in a hoarse
5929 voice. The policeman strolled over and said something to her. She
5930 stumbled away, laughing. A bitter blast swept across the square. The
5931 gas-lamps flickered and became blue, and the leafless trees shook their
5932 black iron branches to and fro. He shivered and went back, closing the
5933 window behind him.
5934
5935 Having reached the door, he turned the key and opened it. He did not
5936 even glance at the murdered man. He felt that the secret of the whole
5937 thing was not to realize the situation. The friend who had painted the
5938 fatal portrait to which all his misery had been due had gone out of his
5939 life. That was enough.
5940
5941 Then he remembered the lamp. It was a rather curious one of Moorish
5942 workmanship, made of dull silver inlaid with arabesques of burnished
5943 steel, and studded with coarse turquoises. Perhaps it might be missed
5944 by his servant, and questions would be asked. He hesitated for a
5945 moment, then he turned back and took it from the table. He could not
5946 help seeing the dead thing. How still it was! How horribly white the
5947 long hands looked! It was like a dreadful wax image.
5948
5949 Having locked the door behind him, he crept quietly downstairs. The
5950 woodwork creaked and seemed to cry out as if in pain. He stopped
5951 several times and waited. No: everything was still. It was merely
5952 the sound of his own footsteps.
5953
5954 When he reached the library, he saw the bag and coat in the corner.
5955 They must be hidden away somewhere. He unlocked a secret press that
5956 was in the wainscoting, a press in which he kept his own curious
5957 disguises, and put them into it. He could easily burn them afterwards.
5958 Then he pulled out his watch. It was twenty minutes to two.
5959
5960 He sat down and began to think. Every year--every month, almost--men
5961 were strangled in England for what he had done. There had been a
5962 madness of murder in the air. Some red star had come too close to the
5963 earth.... And yet, what evidence was there against him? Basil Hallward
5964 had left the house at eleven. No one had seen him come in again. Most
5965 of the servants were at Selby Royal. His valet had gone to bed....
5966 Paris! Yes. It was to Paris that Basil had gone, and by the midnight
5967 train, as he had intended. With his curious reserved habits, it would
5968 be months before any suspicions would be roused. Months! Everything
5969 could be destroyed long before then.
5970
5971 A sudden thought struck him. He put on his fur coat and hat and went
5972 out into the hall. There he paused, hearing the slow heavy tread of
5973 the policeman on the pavement outside and seeing the flash of the
5974 bull's-eye reflected in the window. He waited and held his breath.
5975
5976 After a few moments he drew back the latch and slipped out, shutting
5977 the door very gently behind him. Then he began ringing the bell. In
5978 about five minutes his valet appeared, half-dressed and looking very
5979 drowsy.
5980
5981 "I am sorry to have had to wake you up, Francis," he said, stepping in;
5982 "but I had forgotten my latch-key. What time is it?"
5983
5984 "Ten minutes past two, sir," answered the man, looking at the clock and
5985 blinking.
5986
5987 "Ten minutes past two? How horribly late! You must wake me at nine
5988 to-morrow. I have some work to do."
5989
5990 "All right, sir."
5991
5992 "Did any one call this evening?"
5993
5994 "Mr. Hallward, sir. He stayed here till eleven, and then he went away
5995 to catch his train."
5996
5997 "Oh! I am sorry I didn't see him. Did he leave any message?"
5998
5999 "No, sir, except that he would write to you from Paris, if he did not
6000 find you at the club."
6001
6002 "That will do, Francis. Don't forget to call me at nine to-morrow."
6003
6004 "No, sir."
6005
6006 The man shambled down the passage in his slippers.
6007
6008 Dorian Gray threw his hat and coat upon the table and passed into the
6009 library. For a quarter of an hour he walked up and down the room,
6010 biting his lip and thinking. Then he took down the Blue Book from one
6011 of the shelves and began to turn over the leaves. "Alan Campbell, 152,
6012 Hertford Street, Mayfair." Yes; that was the man he wanted.
6013
6014
6015
6016 CHAPTER 14
6017
6018 At nine o'clock the next morning his servant came in with a cup of
6019 chocolate on a tray and opened the shutters. Dorian was sleeping quite
6020 peacefully, lying on his right side, with one hand underneath his
6021 cheek. He looked like a boy who had been tired out with play, or study.
6022
6023 The man had to touch him twice on the shoulder before he woke, and as
6024 he opened his eyes a faint smile passed across his lips, as though he
6025 had been lost in some delightful dream. Yet he had not dreamed at all.
6026 His night had been untroubled by any images of pleasure or of pain.
6027 But youth smiles without any reason. It is one of its chiefest charms.
6028
6029 He turned round, and leaning upon his elbow, began to sip his
6030 chocolate. The mellow November sun came streaming into the room. The
6031 sky was bright, and there was a genial warmth in the air. It was
6032 almost like a morning in May.
6033
6034 Gradually the events of the preceding night crept with silent,
6035 blood-stained feet into his brain and reconstructed themselves there
6036 with terrible distinctness. He winced at the memory of all that he had
6037 suffered, and for a moment the same curious feeling of loathing for
6038 Basil Hallward that had made him kill him as he sat in the chair came
6039 back to him, and he grew cold with passion. The dead man was still
6040 sitting there, too, and in the sunlight now. How horrible that was!
6041 Such hideous things were for the darkness, not for the day.
6042
6043 He felt that if he brooded on what he had gone through he would sicken
6044 or grow mad. There were sins whose fascination was more in the memory
6045 than in the doing of them, strange triumphs that gratified the pride
6046 more than the passions, and gave to the intellect a quickened sense of
6047 joy, greater than any joy they brought, or could ever bring, to the
6048 senses. But this was not one of them. It was a thing to be driven out
6049 of the mind, to be drugged with poppies, to be strangled lest it might
6050 strangle one itself.
6051
6052 When the half-hour struck, he passed his hand across his forehead, and
6053 then got up hastily and dressed himself with even more than his usual
6054 care, giving a good deal of attention to the choice of his necktie and
6055 scarf-pin and changing his rings more than once. He spent a long time
6056 also over breakfast, tasting the various dishes, talking to his valet
6057 about some new liveries that he was thinking of getting made for the
6058 servants at Selby, and going through his correspondence. At some of
6059 the letters, he smiled. Three of them bored him. One he read several
6060 times over and then tore up with a slight look of annoyance in his
6061 face. "That awful thing, a woman's memory!" as Lord Henry had once
6062 said.
6063
6064 After he had drunk his cup of black coffee, he wiped his lips slowly
6065 with a napkin, motioned to his servant to wait, and going over to the
6066 table, sat down and wrote two letters. One he put in his pocket, the
6067 other he handed to the valet.
6068
6069 "Take this round to 152, Hertford Street, Francis, and if Mr. Campbell
6070 is out of town, get his address."
6071
6072 As soon as he was alone, he lit a cigarette and began sketching upon a
6073 piece of paper, drawing first flowers and bits of architecture, and
6074 then human faces. Suddenly he remarked that every face that he drew
6075 seemed to have a fantastic likeness to Basil Hallward. He frowned, and
6076 getting up, went over to the book-case and took out a volume at hazard.
6077 He was determined that he would not think about what had happened until
6078 it became absolutely necessary that he should do so.
6079
6080 When he had stretched himself on the sofa, he looked at the title-page
6081 of the book. It was Gautier's Emaux et Camees, Charpentier's
6082 Japanese-paper edition, with the Jacquemart etching. The binding was
6083 of citron-green leather, with a design of gilt trellis-work and dotted
6084 pomegranates. It had been given to him by Adrian Singleton. As he
6085 turned over the pages, his eye fell on the poem about the hand of
6086 Lacenaire, the cold yellow hand "_du supplice encore mal lavee_," with
6087 its downy red hairs and its "_doigts de faune_." He glanced at his own
6088 white taper fingers, shuddering slightly in spite of himself, and
6089 passed on, till he came to those lovely stanzas upon Venice:
6090
6091 Sur une gamme chromatique,
6092 Le sein de peries ruisselant,
6093 La Venus de l'Adriatique
6094 Sort de l'eau son corps rose et blanc.
6095
6096 Les domes, sur l'azur des ondes
6097 Suivant la phrase au pur contour,
6098 S'enflent comme des gorges rondes
6099 Que souleve un soupir d'amour.
6100
6101 L'esquif aborde et me depose,
6102 Jetant son amarre au pilier,
6103 Devant une facade rose,
6104 Sur le marbre d'un escalier.
6105
6106
6107 How exquisite they were! As one read them, one seemed to be floating
6108 down the green water-ways of the pink and pearl city, seated in a black
6109 gondola with silver prow and trailing curtains. The mere lines looked
6110 to him like those straight lines of turquoise-blue that follow one as
6111 one pushes out to the Lido. The sudden flashes of colour reminded him
6112 of the gleam of the opal-and-iris-throated birds that flutter round the
6113 tall honeycombed Campanile, or stalk, with such stately grace, through
6114 the dim, dust-stained arcades. Leaning back with half-closed eyes, he
6115 kept saying over and over to himself:
6116
6117 "Devant une facade rose,
6118 Sur le marbre d'un escalier."
6119
6120 The whole of Venice was in those two lines. He remembered the autumn
6121 that he had passed there, and a wonderful love that had stirred him to
6122 mad delightful follies. There was romance in every place. But Venice,
6123 like Oxford, had kept the background for romance, and, to the true
6124 romantic, background was everything, or almost everything. Basil had
6125 been with him part of the time, and had gone wild over Tintoret. Poor
6126 Basil! What a horrible way for a man to die!
6127
6128 He sighed, and took up the volume again, and tried to forget. He read
6129 of the swallows that fly in and out of the little _cafe_ at Smyrna where
6130 the Hadjis sit counting their amber beads and the turbaned merchants
6131 smoke their long tasselled pipes and talk gravely to each other; he
6132 read of the Obelisk in the Place de la Concorde that weeps tears of
6133 granite in its lonely sunless exile and longs to be back by the hot,
6134 lotus-covered Nile, where there are Sphinxes, and rose-red ibises, and
6135 white vultures with gilded claws, and crocodiles with small beryl eyes
6136 that crawl over the green steaming mud; he began to brood over those
6137 verses which, drawing music from kiss-stained marble, tell of that
6138 curious statue that Gautier compares to a contralto voice, the "_monstre
6139 charmant_" that couches in the porphyry-room of the Louvre. But after a
6140 time the book fell from his hand. He grew nervous, and a horrible fit
6141 of terror came over him. What if Alan Campbell should be out of
6142 England? Days would elapse before he could come back. Perhaps he
6143 might refuse to come. What could he do then? Every moment was of
6144 vital importance.
6145
6146 They had been great friends once, five years before--almost
6147 inseparable, indeed. Then the intimacy had come suddenly to an end.
6148 When they met in society now, it was only Dorian Gray who smiled: Alan
6149 Campbell never did.
6150
6151 He was an extremely clever young man, though he had no real
6152 appreciation of the visible arts, and whatever little sense of the
6153 beauty of poetry he possessed he had gained entirely from Dorian. His
6154 dominant intellectual passion was for science. At Cambridge he had
6155 spent a great deal of his time working in the laboratory, and had taken
6156 a good class in the Natural Science Tripos of his year. Indeed, he was
6157 still devoted to the study of chemistry, and had a laboratory of his
6158 own in which he used to shut himself up all day long, greatly to the
6159 annoyance of his mother, who had set her heart on his standing for
6160 Parliament and had a vague idea that a chemist was a person who made up
6161 prescriptions. He was an excellent musician, however, as well, and
6162 played both the violin and the piano better than most amateurs. In
6163 fact, it was music that had first brought him and Dorian Gray
6164 together--music and that indefinable attraction that Dorian seemed to
6165 be able to exercise whenever he wished--and, indeed, exercised often
6166 without being conscious of it. They had met at Lady Berkshire's the
6167 night that Rubinstein played there, and after that used to be always
6168 seen together at the opera and wherever good music was going on. For
6169 eighteen months their intimacy lasted. Campbell was always either at
6170 Selby Royal or in Grosvenor Square. To him, as to many others, Dorian
6171 Gray was the type of everything that is wonderful and fascinating in
6172 life. Whether or not a quarrel had taken place between them no one
6173 ever knew. But suddenly people remarked that they scarcely spoke when
6174 they met and that Campbell seemed always to go away early from any
6175 party at which Dorian Gray was present. He had changed, too--was
6176 strangely melancholy at times, appeared almost to dislike hearing
6177 music, and would never himself play, giving as his excuse, when he was
6178 called upon, that he was so absorbed in science that he had no time
6179 left in which to practise. And this was certainly true. Every day he
6180 seemed to become more interested in biology, and his name appeared once
6181 or twice in some of the scientific reviews in connection with certain
6182 curious experiments.
6183
6184 This was the man Dorian Gray was waiting for. Every second he kept
6185 glancing at the clock. As the minutes went by he became horribly
6186 agitated. At last he got up and began to pace up and down the room,
6187 looking like a beautiful caged thing. He took long stealthy strides.
6188 His hands were curiously cold.
6189
6190 The suspense became unbearable. Time seemed to him to be crawling with
6191 feet of lead, while he by monstrous winds was being swept towards the
6192 jagged edge of some black cleft of precipice. He knew what was waiting
6193 for him there; saw it, indeed, and, shuddering, crushed with dank hands
6194 his burning lids as though he would have robbed the very brain of sight
6195 and driven the eyeballs back into their cave. It was useless. The
6196 brain had its own food on which it battened, and the imagination, made
6197 grotesque by terror, twisted and distorted as a living thing by pain,
6198 danced like some foul puppet on a stand and grinned through moving
6199 masks. Then, suddenly, time stopped for him. Yes: that blind,
6200 slow-breathing thing crawled no more, and horrible thoughts, time being
6201 dead, raced nimbly on in front, and dragged a hideous future from its
6202 grave, and showed it to him. He stared at it. Its very horror made
6203 him stone.
6204
6205 At last the door opened and his servant entered. He turned glazed eyes
6206 upon him.
6207
6208 "Mr. Campbell, sir," said the man.
6209
6210 A sigh of relief broke from his parched lips, and the colour came back
6211 to his cheeks.
6212
6213 "Ask him to come in at once, Francis." He felt that he was himself
6214 again. His mood of cowardice had passed away.
6215
6216 The man bowed and retired. In a few moments, Alan Campbell walked in,
6217 looking very stern and rather pale, his pallor being intensified by his
6218 coal-black hair and dark eyebrows.
6219
6220 "Alan! This is kind of you. I thank you for coming."
6221
6222 "I had intended never to enter your house again, Gray. But you said it
6223 was a matter of life and death." His voice was hard and cold. He
6224 spoke with slow deliberation. There was a look of contempt in the
6225 steady searching gaze that he turned on Dorian. He kept his hands in
6226 the pockets of his Astrakhan coat, and seemed not to have noticed the
6227 gesture with which he had been greeted.
6228
6229 "Yes: it is a matter of life and death, Alan, and to more than one
6230 person. Sit down."
6231
6232 Campbell took a chair by the table, and Dorian sat opposite to him.
6233 The two men's eyes met. In Dorian's there was infinite pity. He knew
6234 that what he was going to do was dreadful.
6235
6236 After a strained moment of silence, he leaned across and said, very
6237 quietly, but watching the effect of each word upon the face of him he
6238 had sent for, "Alan, in a locked room at the top of this house, a room
6239 to which nobody but myself has access, a dead man is seated at a table.
6240 He has been dead ten hours now. Don't stir, and don't look at me like
6241 that. Who the man is, why he died, how he died, are matters that do
6242 not concern you. What you have to do is this--"
6243
6244 "Stop, Gray. I don't want to know anything further. Whether what you
6245 have told me is true or not true doesn't concern me. I entirely
6246 decline to be mixed up in your life. Keep your horrible secrets to
6247 yourself. They don't interest me any more."
6248
6249 "Alan, they will have to interest you. This one will have to interest
6250 you. I am awfully sorry for you, Alan. But I can't help myself. You
6251 are the one man who is able to save me. I am forced to bring you into
6252 the matter. I have no option. Alan, you are scientific. You know
6253 about chemistry and things of that kind. You have made experiments.
6254 What you have got to do is to destroy the thing that is upstairs--to
6255 destroy it so that not a vestige of it will be left. Nobody saw this
6256 person come into the house. Indeed, at the present moment he is
6257 supposed to be in Paris. He will not be missed for months. When he is
6258 missed, there must be no trace of him found here. You, Alan, you must
6259 change him, and everything that belongs to him, into a handful of ashes
6260 that I may scatter in the air."
6261
6262 "You are mad, Dorian."
6263
6264 "Ah! I was waiting for you to call me Dorian."
6265
6266 "You are mad, I tell you--mad to imagine that I would raise a finger to
6267 help you, mad to make this monstrous confession. I will have nothing
6268 to do with this matter, whatever it is. Do you think I am going to
6269 peril my reputation for you? What is it to me what devil's work you
6270 are up to?"
6271
6272 "It was suicide, Alan."
6273
6274 "I am glad of that. But who drove him to it? You, I should fancy."
6275
6276 "Do you still refuse to do this for me?"
6277
6278 "Of course I refuse. I will have absolutely nothing to do with it. I
6279 don't care what shame comes on you. You deserve it all. I should not
6280 be sorry to see you disgraced, publicly disgraced. How dare you ask
6281 me, of all men in the world, to mix myself up in this horror? I should
6282 have thought you knew more about people's characters. Your friend Lord
6283 Henry Wotton can't have taught you much about psychology, whatever else
6284 he has taught you. Nothing will induce me to stir a step to help you.
6285 You have come to the wrong man. Go to some of your friends. Don't
6286 come to me."
6287
6288 "Alan, it was murder. I killed him. You don't know what he had made
6289 me suffer. Whatever my life is, he had more to do with the making or
6290 the marring of it than poor Harry has had. He may not have intended
6291 it, the result was the same."
6292
6293 "Murder! Good God, Dorian, is that what you have come to? I shall not
6294 inform upon you. It is not my business. Besides, without my stirring
6295 in the matter, you are certain to be arrested. Nobody ever commits a
6296 crime without doing something stupid. But I will have nothing to do
6297 with it."
6298
6299 "You must have something to do with it. Wait, wait a moment; listen to
6300 me. Only listen, Alan. All I ask of you is to perform a certain
6301 scientific experiment. You go to hospitals and dead-houses, and the
6302 horrors that you do there don't affect you. If in some hideous
6303 dissecting-room or fetid laboratory you found this man lying on a
6304 leaden table with red gutters scooped out in it for the blood to flow
6305 through, you would simply look upon him as an admirable subject. You
6306 would not turn a hair. You would not believe that you were doing
6307 anything wrong. On the contrary, you would probably feel that you were
6308 benefiting the human race, or increasing the sum of knowledge in the
6309 world, or gratifying intellectual curiosity, or something of that kind.
6310 What I want you to do is merely what you have often done before.
6311 Indeed, to destroy a body must be far less horrible than what you are
6312 accustomed to work at. And, remember, it is the only piece of evidence
6313 against me. If it is discovered, I am lost; and it is sure to be
6314 discovered unless you help me."
6315
6316 "I have no desire to help you. You forget that. I am simply
6317 indifferent to the whole thing. It has nothing to do with me."
6318
6319 "Alan, I entreat you. Think of the position I am in. Just before you
6320 came I almost fainted with terror. You may know terror yourself some
6321 day. No! don't think of that. Look at the matter purely from the
6322 scientific point of view. You don't inquire where the dead things on
6323 which you experiment come from. Don't inquire now. I have told you
6324 too much as it is. But I beg of you to do this. We were friends once,
6325 Alan."
6326
6327 "Don't speak about those days, Dorian--they are dead."
6328
6329 "The dead linger sometimes. The man upstairs will not go away. He is
6330 sitting at the table with bowed head and outstretched arms. Alan!
6331 Alan! If you don't come to my assistance, I am ruined. Why, they will
6332 hang me, Alan! Don't you understand? They will hang me for what I
6333 have done."
6334
6335 "There is no good in prolonging this scene. I absolutely refuse to do
6336 anything in the matter. It is insane of you to ask me."
6337
6338 "You refuse?"
6339
6340 "Yes."
6341
6342 "I entreat you, Alan."
6343
6344 "It is useless."
6345
6346 The same look of pity came into Dorian Gray's eyes. Then he stretched
6347 out his hand, took a piece of paper, and wrote something on it. He
6348 read it over twice, folded it carefully, and pushed it across the
6349 table. Having done this, he got up and went over to the window.
6350
6351 Campbell looked at him in surprise, and then took up the paper, and
6352 opened it. As he read it, his face became ghastly pale and he fell
6353 back in his chair. A horrible sense of sickness came over him. He
6354 felt as if his heart was beating itself to death in some empty hollow.
6355
6356 After two or three minutes of terrible silence, Dorian turned round and
6357 came and stood behind him, putting his hand upon his shoulder.
6358
6359 "I am so sorry for you, Alan," he murmured, "but you leave me no
6360 alternative. I have a letter written already. Here it is. You see
6361 the address. If you don't help me, I must send it. If you don't help
6362 me, I will send it. You know what the result will be. But you are
6363 going to help me. It is impossible for you to refuse now. I tried to
6364 spare you. You will do me the justice to admit that. You were stern,
6365 harsh, offensive. You treated me as no man has ever dared to treat
6366 me--no living man, at any rate. I bore it all. Now it is for me to
6367 dictate terms."
6368
6369 Campbell buried his face in his hands, and a shudder passed through him.
6370
6371 "Yes, it is my turn to dictate terms, Alan. You know what they are.
6372 The thing is quite simple. Come, don't work yourself into this fever.
6373 The thing has to be done. Face it, and do it."
6374
6375 A groan broke from Campbell's lips and he shivered all over. The
6376 ticking of the clock on the mantelpiece seemed to him to be dividing
6377 time into separate atoms of agony, each of which was too terrible to be
6378 borne. He felt as if an iron ring was being slowly tightened round his
6379 forehead, as if the disgrace with which he was threatened had already
6380 come upon him. The hand upon his shoulder weighed like a hand of lead.
6381 It was intolerable. It seemed to crush him.
6382
6383 "Come, Alan, you must decide at once."
6384
6385 "I cannot do it," he said, mechanically, as though words could alter
6386 things.
6387
6388 "You must. You have no choice. Don't delay."
6389
6390 He hesitated a moment. "Is there a fire in the room upstairs?"
6391
6392 "Yes, there is a gas-fire with asbestos."
6393
6394 "I shall have to go home and get some things from the laboratory."
6395
6396 "No, Alan, you must not leave the house. Write out on a sheet of
6397 notepaper what you want and my servant will take a cab and bring the
6398 things back to you."
6399
6400 Campbell scrawled a few lines, blotted them, and addressed an envelope
6401 to his assistant. Dorian took the note up and read it carefully. Then
6402 he rang the bell and gave it to his valet, with orders to return as
6403 soon as possible and to bring the things with him.
6404
6405 As the hall door shut, Campbell started nervously, and having got up
6406 from the chair, went over to the chimney-piece. He was shivering with a
6407 kind of ague. For nearly twenty minutes, neither of the men spoke. A
6408 fly buzzed noisily about the room, and the ticking of the clock was
6409 like the beat of a hammer.
6410
6411 As the chime struck one, Campbell turned round, and looking at Dorian
6412 Gray, saw that his eyes were filled with tears. There was something in
6413 the purity and refinement of that sad face that seemed to enrage him.
6414 "You are infamous, absolutely infamous!" he muttered.
6415
6416 "Hush, Alan. You have saved my life," said Dorian.
6417
6418 "Your life? Good heavens! what a life that is! You have gone from
6419 corruption to corruption, and now you have culminated in crime. In
6420 doing what I am going to do--what you force me to do--it is not of your
6421 life that I am thinking."
6422
6423 "Ah, Alan," murmured Dorian with a sigh, "I wish you had a thousandth
6424 part of the pity for me that I have for you." He turned away as he
6425 spoke and stood looking out at the garden. Campbell made no answer.
6426
6427 After about ten minutes a knock came to the door, and the servant
6428 entered, carrying a large mahogany chest of chemicals, with a long coil
6429 of steel and platinum wire and two rather curiously shaped iron clamps.
6430
6431 "Shall I leave the things here, sir?" he asked Campbell.
6432
6433 "Yes," said Dorian. "And I am afraid, Francis, that I have another
6434 errand for you. What is the name of the man at Richmond who supplies
6435 Selby with orchids?"
6436
6437 "Harden, sir."
6438
6439 "Yes--Harden. You must go down to Richmond at once, see Harden
6440 personally, and tell him to send twice as many orchids as I ordered,
6441 and to have as few white ones as possible. In fact, I don't want any
6442 white ones. It is a lovely day, Francis, and Richmond is a very pretty
6443 place--otherwise I wouldn't bother you about it."
6444
6445 "No trouble, sir. At what time shall I be back?"
6446
6447 Dorian looked at Campbell. "How long will your experiment take, Alan?"
6448 he said in a calm indifferent voice. The presence of a third person in
6449 the room seemed to give him extraordinary courage.
6450
6451 Campbell frowned and bit his lip. "It will take about five hours," he
6452 answered.
6453
6454 "It will be time enough, then, if you are back at half-past seven,
6455 Francis. Or stay: just leave my things out for dressing. You can
6456 have the evening to yourself. I am not dining at home, so I shall not
6457 want you."
6458
6459 "Thank you, sir," said the man, leaving the room.
6460
6461 "Now, Alan, there is not a moment to be lost. How heavy this chest is!
6462 I'll take it for you. You bring the other things." He spoke rapidly
6463 and in an authoritative manner. Campbell felt dominated by him. They
6464 left the room together.
6465
6466 When they reached the top landing, Dorian took out the key and turned
6467 it in the lock. Then he stopped, and a troubled look came into his
6468 eyes. He shuddered. "I don't think I can go in, Alan," he murmured.
6469
6470 "It is nothing to me. I don't require you," said Campbell coldly.
6471
6472 Dorian half opened the door. As he did so, he saw the face of his
6473 portrait leering in the sunlight. On the floor in front of it the torn
6474 curtain was lying. He remembered that the night before he had
6475 forgotten, for the first time in his life, to hide the fatal canvas,
6476 and was about to rush forward, when he drew back with a shudder.
6477
6478 What was that loathsome red dew that gleamed, wet and glistening, on
6479 one of the hands, as though the canvas had sweated blood? How horrible
6480 it was!--more horrible, it seemed to him for the moment, than the
6481 silent thing that he knew was stretched across the table, the thing
6482 whose grotesque misshapen shadow on the spotted carpet showed him that
6483 it had not stirred, but was still there, as he had left it.
6484
6485 He heaved a deep breath, opened the door a little wider, and with
6486 half-closed eyes and averted head, walked quickly in, determined that
6487 he would not look even once upon the dead man. Then, stooping down and
6488 taking up the gold-and-purple hanging, he flung it right over the
6489 picture.
6490
6491 There he stopped, feeling afraid to turn round, and his eyes fixed
6492 themselves on the intricacies of the pattern before him. He heard
6493 Campbell bringing in the heavy chest, and the irons, and the other
6494 things that he had required for his dreadful work. He began to wonder
6495 if he and Basil Hallward had ever met, and, if so, what they had
6496 thought of each other.
6497
6498 "Leave me now," said a stern voice behind him.
6499
6500 He turned and hurried out, just conscious that the dead man had been
6501 thrust back into the chair and that Campbell was gazing into a
6502 glistening yellow face. As he was going downstairs, he heard the key
6503 being turned in the lock.
6504
6505 It was long after seven when Campbell came back into the library. He
6506 was pale, but absolutely calm. "I have done what you asked me to do,"
6507 he muttered. "And now, good-bye. Let us never see each other again."
6508
6509 "You have saved me from ruin, Alan. I cannot forget that," said Dorian
6510 simply.
6511
6512 As soon as Campbell had left, he went upstairs. There was a horrible
6513 smell of nitric acid in the room. But the thing that had been sitting
6514 at the table was gone.
6515
6516
6517
6518 CHAPTER 15
6519
6520 That evening, at eight-thirty, exquisitely dressed and wearing a large
6521 button-hole of Parma violets, Dorian Gray was ushered into Lady
6522 Narborough's drawing-room by bowing servants. His forehead was
6523 throbbing with maddened nerves, and he felt wildly excited, but his
6524 manner as he bent over his hostess's hand was as easy and graceful as
6525 ever. Perhaps one never seems so much at one's ease as when one has to
6526 play a part. Certainly no one looking at Dorian Gray that night could
6527 have believed that he had passed through a tragedy as horrible as any
6528 tragedy of our age. Those finely shaped fingers could never have
6529 clutched a knife for sin, nor those smiling lips have cried out on God
6530 and goodness. He himself could not help wondering at the calm of his
6531 demeanour, and for a moment felt keenly the terrible pleasure of a
6532 double life.
6533
6534 It was a small party, got up rather in a hurry by Lady Narborough, who
6535 was a very clever woman with what Lord Henry used to describe as the
6536 remains of really remarkable ugliness. She had proved an excellent
6537 wife to one of our most tedious ambassadors, and having buried her
6538 husband properly in a marble mausoleum, which she had herself designed,
6539 and married off her daughters to some rich, rather elderly men, she
6540 devoted herself now to the pleasures of French fiction, French cookery,
6541 and French _esprit_ when she could get it.
6542
6543 Dorian was one of her especial favourites, and she always told him that
6544 she was extremely glad she had not met him in early life. "I know, my
6545 dear, I should have fallen madly in love with you," she used to say,
6546 "and thrown my bonnet right over the mills for your sake. It is most
6547 fortunate that you were not thought of at the time. As it was, our
6548 bonnets were so unbecoming, and the mills were so occupied in trying to
6549 raise the wind, that I never had even a flirtation with anybody.
6550 However, that was all Narborough's fault. He was dreadfully
6551 short-sighted, and there is no pleasure in taking in a husband who
6552 never sees anything."
6553
6554 Her guests this evening were rather tedious. The fact was, as she
6555 explained to Dorian, behind a very shabby fan, one of her married
6556 daughters had come up quite suddenly to stay with her, and, to make
6557 matters worse, had actually brought her husband with her. "I think it
6558 is most unkind of her, my dear," she whispered. "Of course I go and
6559 stay with them every summer after I come from Homburg, but then an old
6560 woman like me must have fresh air sometimes, and besides, I really wake
6561 them up. You don't know what an existence they lead down there. It is
6562 pure unadulterated country life. They get up early, because they have
6563 so much to do, and go to bed early, because they have so little to
6564 think about. There has not been a scandal in the neighbourhood since
6565 the time of Queen Elizabeth, and consequently they all fall asleep
6566 after dinner. You shan't sit next either of them. You shall sit by me
6567 and amuse me."
6568
6569 Dorian murmured a graceful compliment and looked round the room. Yes:
6570 it was certainly a tedious party. Two of the people he had never seen
6571 before, and the others consisted of Ernest Harrowden, one of those
6572 middle-aged mediocrities so common in London clubs who have no enemies,
6573 but are thoroughly disliked by their friends; Lady Ruxton, an
6574 overdressed woman of forty-seven, with a hooked nose, who was always
6575 trying to get herself compromised, but was so peculiarly plain that to
6576 her great disappointment no one would ever believe anything against
6577 her; Mrs. Erlynne, a pushing nobody, with a delightful lisp and
6578 Venetian-red hair; Lady Alice Chapman, his hostess's daughter, a dowdy
6579 dull girl, with one of those characteristic British faces that, once
6580 seen, are never remembered; and her husband, a red-cheeked,
6581 white-whiskered creature who, like so many of his class, was under the
6582 impression that inordinate joviality can atone for an entire lack of
6583 ideas.
6584
6585 He was rather sorry he had come, till Lady Narborough, looking at the
6586 great ormolu gilt clock that sprawled in gaudy curves on the
6587 mauve-draped mantelshelf, exclaimed: "How horrid of Henry Wotton to be
6588 so late! I sent round to him this morning on chance and he promised
6589 faithfully not to disappoint me."
6590
6591 It was some consolation that Harry was to be there, and when the door
6592 opened and he heard his slow musical voice lending charm to some
6593 insincere apology, he ceased to feel bored.
6594
6595 But at dinner he could not eat anything. Plate after plate went away
6596 untasted. Lady Narborough kept scolding him for what she called "an
6597 insult to poor Adolphe, who invented the _menu_ specially for you," and
6598 now and then Lord Henry looked across at him, wondering at his silence
6599 and abstracted manner. From time to time the butler filled his glass
6600 with champagne. He drank eagerly, and his thirst seemed to increase.
6601
6602 "Dorian," said Lord Henry at last, as the _chaud-froid_ was being handed
6603 round, "what is the matter with you to-night? You are quite out of
6604 sorts."
6605
6606 "I believe he is in love," cried Lady Narborough, "and that he is
6607 afraid to tell me for fear I should be jealous. He is quite right. I
6608 certainly should."
6609
6610 "Dear Lady Narborough," murmured Dorian, smiling, "I have not been in
6611 love for a whole week--not, in fact, since Madame de Ferrol left town."
6612
6613 "How you men can fall in love with that woman!" exclaimed the old lady.
6614 "I really cannot understand it."
6615
6616 "It is simply because she remembers you when you were a little girl,
6617 Lady Narborough," said Lord Henry. "She is the one link between us and
6618 your short frocks."
6619
6620 "She does not remember my short frocks at all, Lord Henry. But I
6621 remember her very well at Vienna thirty years ago, and how _decolletee_
6622 she was then."
6623
6624 "She is still _decolletee_," he answered, taking an olive in his long
6625 fingers; "and when she is in a very smart gown she looks like an
6626 _edition de luxe_ of a bad French novel. She is really wonderful, and
6627 full of surprises. Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary.
6628 When her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief."
6629
6630 "How can you, Harry!" cried Dorian.
6631
6632 "It is a most romantic explanation," laughed the hostess. "But her
6633 third husband, Lord Henry! You don't mean to say Ferrol is the fourth?"
6634
6635 "Certainly, Lady Narborough."
6636
6637 "I don't believe a word of it."
6638
6639 "Well, ask Mr. Gray. He is one of her most intimate friends."
6640
6641 "Is it true, Mr. Gray?"
6642
6643 "She assures me so, Lady Narborough," said Dorian. "I asked her
6644 whether, like Marguerite de Navarre, she had their hearts embalmed and
6645 hung at her girdle. She told me she didn't, because none of them had
6646 had any hearts at all."
6647
6648 "Four husbands! Upon my word that is _trop de zele_."
6649
6650 "_Trop d'audace_, I tell her," said Dorian.
6651
6652 "Oh! she is audacious enough for anything, my dear. And what is Ferrol
6653 like? I don't know him."
6654
6655 "The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes,"
6656 said Lord Henry, sipping his wine.
6657
6658 Lady Narborough hit him with her fan. "Lord Henry, I am not at all
6659 surprised that the world says that you are extremely wicked."
6660
6661 "But what world says that?" asked Lord Henry, elevating his eyebrows.
6662 "It can only be the next world. This world and I are on excellent
6663 terms."
6664
6665 "Everybody I know says you are very wicked," cried the old lady,
6666 shaking her head.
6667
6668 Lord Henry looked serious for some moments. "It is perfectly
6669 monstrous," he said, at last, "the way people go about nowadays saying
6670 things against one behind one's back that are absolutely and entirely
6671 true."
6672
6673 "Isn't he incorrigible?" cried Dorian, leaning forward in his chair.
6674
6675 "I hope so," said his hostess, laughing. "But really, if you all
6676 worship Madame de Ferrol in this ridiculous way, I shall have to marry
6677 again so as to be in the fashion."
6678
6679 "You will never marry again, Lady Narborough," broke in Lord Henry.
6680 "You were far too happy. When a woman marries again, it is because she
6681 detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he
6682 adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs."
6683
6684 "Narborough wasn't perfect," cried the old lady.
6685
6686 "If he had been, you would not have loved him, my dear lady," was the
6687 rejoinder. "Women love us for our defects. If we have enough of them,
6688 they will forgive us everything, even our intellects. You will never
6689 ask me to dinner again after saying this, I am afraid, Lady Narborough,
6690 but it is quite true."
6691
6692 "Of course it is true, Lord Henry. If we women did not love you for
6693 your defects, where would you all be? Not one of you would ever be
6694 married. You would be a set of unfortunate bachelors. Not, however,
6695 that that would alter you much. Nowadays all the married men live like
6696 bachelors, and all the bachelors like married men."
6697
6698 "_Fin de siecle_," murmured Lord Henry.
6699
6700 "_Fin du globe_," answered his hostess.
6701
6702 "I wish it were _fin du globe_," said Dorian with a sigh. "Life is a
6703 great disappointment."
6704
6705 "Ah, my dear," cried Lady Narborough, putting on her gloves, "don't
6706 tell me that you have exhausted life. When a man says that one knows
6707 that life has exhausted him. Lord Henry is very wicked, and I
6708 sometimes wish that I had been; but you are made to be good--you look
6709 so good. I must find you a nice wife. Lord Henry, don't you think
6710 that Mr. Gray should get married?"
6711
6712 "I am always telling him so, Lady Narborough," said Lord Henry with a
6713 bow.
6714
6715 "Well, we must look out for a suitable match for him. I shall go
6716 through Debrett carefully to-night and draw out a list of all the
6717 eligible young ladies."
6718
6719 "With their ages, Lady Narborough?" asked Dorian.
6720
6721 "Of course, with their ages, slightly edited. But nothing must be done
6722 in a hurry. I want it to be what _The Morning Post_ calls a suitable
6723 alliance, and I want you both to be happy."
6724
6725 "What nonsense people talk about happy marriages!" exclaimed Lord
6726 Henry. "A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love
6727 her."
6728
6729 "Ah! what a cynic you are!" cried the old lady, pushing back her chair
6730 and nodding to Lady Ruxton. "You must come and dine with me soon
6731 again. You are really an admirable tonic, much better than what Sir
6732 Andrew prescribes for me. You must tell me what people you would like
6733 to meet, though. I want it to be a delightful gathering."
6734
6735 "I like men who have a future and women who have a past," he answered.
6736 "Or do you think that would make it a petticoat party?"
6737
6738 "I fear so," she said, laughing, as she stood up. "A thousand pardons,
6739 my dear Lady Ruxton," she added, "I didn't see you hadn't finished your
6740 cigarette."
6741
6742 "Never mind, Lady Narborough. I smoke a great deal too much. I am
6743 going to limit myself, for the future."
6744
6745 "Pray don't, Lady Ruxton," said Lord Henry. "Moderation is a fatal
6746 thing. Enough is as bad as a meal. More than enough is as good as a
6747 feast."
6748
6749 Lady Ruxton glanced at him curiously. "You must come and explain that
6750 to me some afternoon, Lord Henry. It sounds a fascinating theory," she
6751 murmured, as she swept out of the room.
6752
6753 "Now, mind you don't stay too long over your politics and scandal,"
6754 cried Lady Narborough from the door. "If you do, we are sure to
6755 squabble upstairs."
6756
6757 The men laughed, and Mr. Chapman got up solemnly from the foot of the
6758 table and came up to the top. Dorian Gray changed his seat and went
6759 and sat by Lord Henry. Mr. Chapman began to talk in a loud voice about
6760 the situation in the House of Commons. He guffawed at his adversaries.
6761 The word _doctrinaire_--word full of terror to the British
6762 mind--reappeared from time to time between his explosions. An
6763 alliterative prefix served as an ornament of oratory. He hoisted the
6764 Union Jack on the pinnacles of thought. The inherited stupidity of the
6765 race--sound English common sense he jovially termed it--was shown to be
6766 the proper bulwark for society.
6767
6768 A smile curved Lord Henry's lips, and he turned round and looked at
6769 Dorian.
6770
6771 "Are you better, my dear fellow?" he asked. "You seemed rather out of
6772 sorts at dinner."
6773
6774 "I am quite well, Harry. I am tired. That is all."
6775
6776 "You were charming last night. The little duchess is quite devoted to
6777 you. She tells me she is going down to Selby."
6778
6779 "She has promised to come on the twentieth."
6780
6781 "Is Monmouth to be there, too?"
6782
6783 "Oh, yes, Harry."
6784
6785 "He bores me dreadfully, almost as much as he bores her. She is very
6786 clever, too clever for a woman. She lacks the indefinable charm of
6787 weakness. It is the feet of clay that make the gold of the image
6788 precious. Her feet are very pretty, but they are not feet of clay.
6789 White porcelain feet, if you like. They have been through the fire,
6790 and what fire does not destroy, it hardens. She has had experiences."
6791
6792 "How long has she been married?" asked Dorian.
6793
6794 "An eternity, she tells me. I believe, according to the peerage, it is
6795 ten years, but ten years with Monmouth must have been like eternity,
6796 with time thrown in. Who else is coming?"
6797
6798 "Oh, the Willoughbys, Lord Rugby and his wife, our hostess, Geoffrey
6799 Clouston, the usual set. I have asked Lord Grotrian."
6800
6801 "I like him," said Lord Henry. "A great many people don't, but I find
6802 him charming. He atones for being occasionally somewhat overdressed by
6803 being always absolutely over-educated. He is a very modern type."
6804
6805 "I don't know if he will be able to come, Harry. He may have to go to
6806 Monte Carlo with his father."
6807
6808 "Ah! what a nuisance people's people are! Try and make him come. By
6809 the way, Dorian, you ran off very early last night. You left before
6810 eleven. What did you do afterwards? Did you go straight home?"
6811
6812 Dorian glanced at him hurriedly and frowned.
6813
6814 "No, Harry," he said at last, "I did not get home till nearly three."
6815
6816 "Did you go to the club?"
6817
6818 "Yes," he answered. Then he bit his lip. "No, I don't mean that. I
6819 didn't go to the club. I walked about. I forget what I did.... How
6820 inquisitive you are, Harry! You always want to know what one has been
6821 doing. I always want to forget what I have been doing. I came in at
6822 half-past two, if you wish to know the exact time. I had left my
6823 latch-key at home, and my servant had to let me in. If you want any
6824 corroborative evidence on the subject, you can ask him."
6825
6826 Lord Henry shrugged his shoulders. "My dear fellow, as if I cared!
6827 Let us go up to the drawing-room. No sherry, thank you, Mr. Chapman.
6828 Something has happened to you, Dorian. Tell me what it is. You are
6829 not yourself to-night."
6830
6831 "Don't mind me, Harry. I am irritable, and out of temper. I shall
6832 come round and see you to-morrow, or next day. Make my excuses to Lady
6833 Narborough. I shan't go upstairs. I shall go home. I must go home."
6834
6835 "All right, Dorian. I dare say I shall see you to-morrow at tea-time.
6836 The duchess is coming."
6837
6838 "I will try to be there, Harry," he said, leaving the room. As he
6839 drove back to his own house, he was conscious that the sense of terror
6840 he thought he had strangled had come back to him. Lord Henry's casual
6841 questioning had made him lose his nerve for the moment, and he wanted
6842 his nerve still. Things that were dangerous had to be destroyed. He
6843 winced. He hated the idea of even touching them.
6844
6845 Yet it had to be done. He realized that, and when he had locked the
6846 door of his library, he opened the secret press into which he had
6847 thrust Basil Hallward's coat and bag. A huge fire was blazing. He
6848 piled another log on it. The smell of the singeing clothes and burning
6849 leather was horrible. It took him three-quarters of an hour to consume
6850 everything. At the end he felt faint and sick, and having lit some
6851 Algerian pastilles in a pierced copper brazier, he bathed his hands and
6852 forehead with a cool musk-scented vinegar.
6853
6854 Suddenly he started. His eyes grew strangely bright, and he gnawed
6855 nervously at his underlip. Between two of the windows stood a large
6856 Florentine cabinet, made out of ebony and inlaid with ivory and blue
6857 lapis. He watched it as though it were a thing that could fascinate
6858 and make afraid, as though it held something that he longed for and yet
6859 almost loathed. His breath quickened. A mad craving came over him.
6860 He lit a cigarette and then threw it away. His eyelids drooped till
6861 the long fringed lashes almost touched his cheek. But he still watched
6862 the cabinet. At last he got up from the sofa on which he had been
6863 lying, went over to it, and having unlocked it, touched some hidden
6864 spring. A triangular drawer passed slowly out. His fingers moved
6865 instinctively towards it, dipped in, and closed on something. It was a
6866 small Chinese box of black and gold-dust lacquer, elaborately wrought,
6867 the sides patterned with curved waves, and the silken cords hung with
6868 round crystals and tasselled in plaited metal threads. He opened it.
6869 Inside was a green paste, waxy in lustre, the odour curiously heavy and
6870 persistent.
6871
6872 He hesitated for some moments, with a strangely immobile smile upon his
6873 face. Then shivering, though the atmosphere of the room was terribly
6874 hot, he drew himself up and glanced at the clock. It was twenty
6875 minutes to twelve. He put the box back, shutting the cabinet doors as
6876 he did so, and went into his bedroom.
6877
6878 As midnight was striking bronze blows upon the dusky air, Dorian Gray,
6879 dressed commonly, and with a muffler wrapped round his throat, crept
6880 quietly out of his house. In Bond Street he found a hansom with a good
6881 horse. He hailed it and in a low voice gave the driver an address.
6882
6883 The man shook his head. "It is too far for me," he muttered.
6884
6885 "Here is a sovereign for you," said Dorian. "You shall have another if
6886 you drive fast."
6887
6888 "All right, sir," answered the man, "you will be there in an hour," and
6889 after his fare had got in he turned his horse round and drove rapidly
6890 towards the river.
6891
6892
6893
6894 CHAPTER 16
6895
6896 A cold rain began to fall, and the blurred street-lamps looked ghastly
6897 in the dripping mist. The public-houses were just closing, and dim men
6898 and women were clustering in broken groups round their doors. From
6899 some of the bars came the sound of horrible laughter. In others,
6900 drunkards brawled and screamed.
6901
6902 Lying back in the hansom, with his hat pulled over his forehead, Dorian
6903 Gray watched with listless eyes the sordid shame of the great city, and
6904 now and then he repeated to himself the words that Lord Henry had said
6905 to him on the first day they had met, "To cure the soul by means of the
6906 senses, and the senses by means of the soul." Yes, that was the
6907 secret. He had often tried it, and would try it again now. There were
6908 opium dens where one could buy oblivion, dens of horror where the
6909 memory of old sins could be destroyed by the madness of sins that were
6910 new.
6911
6912 The moon hung low in the sky like a yellow skull. From time to time a
6913 huge misshapen cloud stretched a long arm across and hid it. The
6914 gas-lamps grew fewer, and the streets more narrow and gloomy. Once the
6915 man lost his way and had to drive back half a mile. A steam rose from
6916 the horse as it splashed up the puddles. The sidewindows of the hansom
6917 were clogged with a grey-flannel mist.
6918
6919 "To cure the soul by means of the senses, and the senses by means of
6920 the soul!" How the words rang in his ears! His soul, certainly, was
6921 sick to death. Was it true that the senses could cure it? Innocent
6922 blood had been spilled. What could atone for that? Ah! for that there
6923 was no atonement; but though forgiveness was impossible, forgetfulness
6924 was possible still, and he was determined to forget, to stamp the thing
6925 out, to crush it as one would crush the adder that had stung one.
6926 Indeed, what right had Basil to have spoken to him as he had done? Who
6927 had made him a judge over others? He had said things that were
6928 dreadful, horrible, not to be endured.
6929
6930 On and on plodded the hansom, going slower, it seemed to him, at each
6931 step. He thrust up the trap and called to the man to drive faster.
6932 The hideous hunger for opium began to gnaw at him. His throat burned
6933 and his delicate hands twitched nervously together. He struck at the
6934 horse madly with his stick. The driver laughed and whipped up. He
6935 laughed in answer, and the man was silent.
6936
6937 The way seemed interminable, and the streets like the black web of some
6938 sprawling spider. The monotony became unbearable, and as the mist
6939 thickened, he felt afraid.
6940
6941 Then they passed by lonely brickfields. The fog was lighter here, and
6942 he could see the strange, bottle-shaped kilns with their orange,
6943 fanlike tongues of fire. A dog barked as they went by, and far away in
6944 the darkness some wandering sea-gull screamed. The horse stumbled in a
6945 rut, then swerved aside and broke into a gallop.
6946
6947 After some time they left the clay road and rattled again over
6948 rough-paven streets. Most of the windows were dark, but now and then
6949 fantastic shadows were silhouetted against some lamplit blind. He
6950 watched them curiously. They moved like monstrous marionettes and made
6951 gestures like live things. He hated them. A dull rage was in his
6952 heart. As they turned a corner, a woman yelled something at them from
6953 an open door, and two men ran after the hansom for about a hundred
6954 yards. The driver beat at them with his whip.
6955
6956 It is said that passion makes one think in a circle. Certainly with
6957 hideous iteration the bitten lips of Dorian Gray shaped and reshaped
6958 those subtle words that dealt with soul and sense, till he had found in
6959 them the full expression, as it were, of his mood, and justified, by
6960 intellectual approval, passions that without such justification would
6961 still have dominated his temper. From cell to cell of his brain crept
6962 the one thought; and the wild desire to live, most terrible of all
6963 man's appetites, quickened into force each trembling nerve and fibre.
6964 Ugliness that had once been hateful to him because it made things real,
6965 became dear to him now for that very reason. Ugliness was the one
6966 reality. The coarse brawl, the loathsome den, the crude violence of
6967 disordered life, the very vileness of thief and outcast, were more
6968 vivid, in their intense actuality of impression, than all the gracious
6969 shapes of art, the dreamy shadows of song. They were what he needed
6970 for forgetfulness. In three days he would be free.
6971
6972 Suddenly the man drew up with a jerk at the top of a dark lane. Over
6973 the low roofs and jagged chimney-stacks of the houses rose the black
6974 masts of ships. Wreaths of white mist clung like ghostly sails to the
6975 yards.
6976
6977 "Somewhere about here, sir, ain't it?" he asked huskily through the
6978 trap.
6979
6980 Dorian started and peered round. "This will do," he answered, and
6981 having got out hastily and given the driver the extra fare he had
6982 promised him, he walked quickly in the direction of the quay. Here and
6983 there a lantern gleamed at the stern of some huge merchantman. The
6984 light shook and splintered in the puddles. A red glare came from an
6985 outward-bound steamer that was coaling. The slimy pavement looked like
6986 a wet mackintosh.
6987
6988 He hurried on towards the left, glancing back now and then to see if he
6989 was being followed. In about seven or eight minutes he reached a small
6990 shabby house that was wedged in between two gaunt factories. In one of
6991 the top-windows stood a lamp. He stopped and gave a peculiar knock.
6992
6993 After a little time he heard steps in the passage and the chain being
6994 unhooked. The door opened quietly, and he went in without saying a
6995 word to the squat misshapen figure that flattened itself into the
6996 shadow as he passed. At the end of the hall hung a tattered green
6997 curtain that swayed and shook in the gusty wind which had followed him
6998 in from the street. He dragged it aside and entered a long low room
6999 which looked as if it had once been a third-rate dancing-saloon. Shrill
7000 flaring gas-jets, dulled and distorted in the fly-blown mirrors that
7001 faced them, were ranged round the walls. Greasy reflectors of ribbed
7002 tin backed them, making quivering disks of light. The floor was
7003 covered with ochre-coloured sawdust, trampled here and there into mud,
7004 and stained with dark rings of spilled liquor. Some Malays were
7005 crouching by a little charcoal stove, playing with bone counters and
7006 showing their white teeth as they chattered. In one corner, with his
7007 head buried in his arms, a sailor sprawled over a table, and by the
7008 tawdrily painted bar that ran across one complete side stood two
7009 haggard women, mocking an old man who was brushing the sleeves of his
7010 coat with an expression of disgust. "He thinks he's got red ants on
7011 him," laughed one of them, as Dorian passed by. The man looked at her
7012 in terror and began to whimper.
7013
7014 At the end of the room there was a little staircase, leading to a
7015 darkened chamber. As Dorian hurried up its three rickety steps, the
7016 heavy odour of opium met him. He heaved a deep breath, and his
7017 nostrils quivered with pleasure. When he entered, a young man with
7018 smooth yellow hair, who was bending over a lamp lighting a long thin
7019 pipe, looked up at him and nodded in a hesitating manner.
7020
7021 "You here, Adrian?" muttered Dorian.
7022
7023 "Where else should I be?" he answered, listlessly. "None of the chaps
7024 will speak to me now."
7025
7026 "I thought you had left England."
7027
7028 "Darlington is not going to do anything. My brother paid the bill at
7029 last. George doesn't speak to me either.... I don't care," he added
7030 with a sigh. "As long as one has this stuff, one doesn't want friends.
7031 I think I have had too many friends."
7032
7033 Dorian winced and looked round at the grotesque things that lay in such
7034 fantastic postures on the ragged mattresses. The twisted limbs, the
7035 gaping mouths, the staring lustreless eyes, fascinated him. He knew in
7036 what strange heavens they were suffering, and what dull hells were
7037 teaching them the secret of some new joy. They were better off than he
7038 was. He was prisoned in thought. Memory, like a horrible malady, was
7039 eating his soul away. From time to time he seemed to see the eyes of
7040 Basil Hallward looking at him. Yet he felt he could not stay. The
7041 presence of Adrian Singleton troubled him. He wanted to be where no
7042 one would know who he was. He wanted to escape from himself.
7043
7044 "I am going on to the other place," he said after a pause.
7045
7046 "On the wharf?"
7047
7048 "Yes."
7049
7050 "That mad-cat is sure to be there. They won't have her in this place
7051 now."
7052
7053 Dorian shrugged his shoulders. "I am sick of women who love one.
7054 Women who hate one are much more interesting. Besides, the stuff is
7055 better."
7056
7057 "Much the same."
7058
7059 "I like it better. Come and have something to drink. I must have
7060 something."
7061
7062 "I don't want anything," murmured the young man.
7063
7064 "Never mind."
7065
7066 Adrian Singleton rose up wearily and followed Dorian to the bar. A
7067 half-caste, in a ragged turban and a shabby ulster, grinned a hideous
7068 greeting as he thrust a bottle of brandy and two tumblers in front of
7069 them. The women sidled up and began to chatter. Dorian turned his
7070 back on them and said something in a low voice to Adrian Singleton.
7071
7072 A crooked smile, like a Malay crease, writhed across the face of one of
7073 the women. "We are very proud to-night," she sneered.
7074
7075 "For God's sake don't talk to me," cried Dorian, stamping his foot on
7076 the ground. "What do you want? Money? Here it is. Don't ever talk
7077 to me again."
7078
7079 Two red sparks flashed for a moment in the woman's sodden eyes, then
7080 flickered out and left them dull and glazed. She tossed her head and
7081 raked the coins off the counter with greedy fingers. Her companion
7082 watched her enviously.
7083
7084 "It's no use," sighed Adrian Singleton. "I don't care to go back.
7085 What does it matter? I am quite happy here."
7086
7087 "You will write to me if you want anything, won't you?" said Dorian,
7088 after a pause.
7089
7090 "Perhaps."
7091
7092 "Good night, then."
7093
7094 "Good night," answered the young man, passing up the steps and wiping
7095 his parched mouth with a handkerchief.
7096
7097 Dorian walked to the door with a look of pain in his face. As he drew
7098 the curtain aside, a hideous laugh broke from the painted lips of the
7099 woman who had taken his money. "There goes the devil's bargain!" she
7100 hiccoughed, in a hoarse voice.
7101
7102 "Curse you!" he answered, "don't call me that."
7103
7104 She snapped her fingers. "Prince Charming is what you like to be
7105 called, ain't it?" she yelled after him.
7106
7107 The drowsy sailor leaped to his feet as she spoke, and looked wildly
7108 round. The sound of the shutting of the hall door fell on his ear. He
7109 rushed out as if in pursuit.
7110
7111 Dorian Gray hurried along the quay through the drizzling rain. His
7112 meeting with Adrian Singleton had strangely moved him, and he wondered
7113 if the ruin of that young life was really to be laid at his door, as
7114 Basil Hallward had said to him with such infamy of insult. He bit his
7115 lip, and for a few seconds his eyes grew sad. Yet, after all, what did
7116 it matter to him? One's days were too brief to take the burden of
7117 another's errors on one's shoulders. Each man lived his own life and
7118 paid his own price for living it. The only pity was one had to pay so
7119 often for a single fault. One had to pay over and over again, indeed.
7120 In her dealings with man, destiny never closed her accounts.
7121
7122 There are moments, psychologists tell us, when the passion for sin, or
7123 for what the world calls sin, so dominates a nature that every fibre of
7124 the body, as every cell of the brain, seems to be instinct with fearful
7125 impulses. Men and women at such moments lose the freedom of their
7126 will. They move to their terrible end as automatons move. Choice is
7127 taken from them, and conscience is either killed, or, if it lives at
7128 all, lives but to give rebellion its fascination and disobedience its
7129 charm. For all sins, as theologians weary not of reminding us, are
7130 sins of disobedience. When that high spirit, that morning star of
7131 evil, fell from heaven, it was as a rebel that he fell.
7132
7133 Callous, concentrated on evil, with stained mind, and soul hungry for
7134 rebellion, Dorian Gray hastened on, quickening his step as he went, but
7135 as he darted aside into a dim archway, that had served him often as a
7136 short cut to the ill-famed place where he was going, he felt himself
7137 suddenly seized from behind, and before he had time to defend himself,
7138 he was thrust back against the wall, with a brutal hand round his
7139 throat.
7140
7141 He struggled madly for life, and by a terrible effort wrenched the
7142 tightening fingers away. In a second he heard the click of a revolver,
7143 and saw the gleam of a polished barrel, pointing straight at his head,
7144 and the dusky form of a short, thick-set man facing him.
7145
7146 "What do you want?" he gasped.
7147
7148 "Keep quiet," said the man. "If you stir, I shoot you."
7149
7150 "You are mad. What have I done to you?"
7151
7152 "You wrecked the life of Sibyl Vane," was the answer, "and Sibyl Vane
7153 was my sister. She killed herself. I know it. Her death is at your
7154 door. I swore I would kill you in return. For years I have sought
7155 you. I had no clue, no trace. The two people who could have described
7156 you were dead. I knew nothing of you but the pet name she used to call
7157 you. I heard it to-night by chance. Make your peace with God, for
7158 to-night you are going to die."
7159
7160 Dorian Gray grew sick with fear. "I never knew her," he stammered. "I
7161 never heard of her. You are mad."
7162
7163 "You had better confess your sin, for as sure as I am James Vane, you
7164 are going to die." There was a horrible moment. Dorian did not know
7165 what to say or do. "Down on your knees!" growled the man. "I give you
7166 one minute to make your peace--no more. I go on board to-night for
7167 India, and I must do my job first. One minute. That's all."
7168
7169 Dorian's arms fell to his side. Paralysed with terror, he did not know
7170 what to do. Suddenly a wild hope flashed across his brain. "Stop," he
7171 cried. "How long ago is it since your sister died? Quick, tell me!"
7172
7173 "Eighteen years," said the man. "Why do you ask me? What do years
7174 matter?"
7175
7176 "Eighteen years," laughed Dorian Gray, with a touch of triumph in his
7177 voice. "Eighteen years! Set me under the lamp and look at my face!"
7178
7179 James Vane hesitated for a moment, not understanding what was meant.
7180 Then he seized Dorian Gray and dragged him from the archway.
7181
7182 Dim and wavering as was the wind-blown light, yet it served to show him
7183 the hideous error, as it seemed, into which he had fallen, for the face
7184 of the man he had sought to kill had all the bloom of boyhood, all the
7185 unstained purity of youth. He seemed little more than a lad of twenty
7186 summers, hardly older, if older indeed at all, than his sister had been
7187 when they had parted so many years ago. It was obvious that this was
7188 not the man who had destroyed her life.
7189
7190 He loosened his hold and reeled back. "My God! my God!" he cried, "and
7191 I would have murdered you!"
7192
7193 Dorian Gray drew a long breath. "You have been on the brink of
7194 committing a terrible crime, my man," he said, looking at him sternly.
7195 "Let this be a warning to you not to take vengeance into your own
7196 hands."
7197
7198 "Forgive me, sir," muttered James Vane. "I was deceived. A chance
7199 word I heard in that damned den set me on the wrong track."
7200
7201 "You had better go home and put that pistol away, or you may get into
7202 trouble," said Dorian, turning on his heel and going slowly down the
7203 street.
7204
7205 James Vane stood on the pavement in horror. He was trembling from head
7206 to foot. After a little while, a black shadow that had been creeping
7207 along the dripping wall moved out into the light and came close to him
7208 with stealthy footsteps. He felt a hand laid on his arm and looked
7209 round with a start. It was one of the women who had been drinking at
7210 the bar.
7211
7212 "Why didn't you kill him?" she hissed out, putting haggard face quite
7213 close to his. "I knew you were following him when you rushed out from
7214 Daly's. You fool! You should have killed him. He has lots of money,
7215 and he's as bad as bad."
7216
7217 "He is not the man I am looking for," he answered, "and I want no man's
7218 money. I want a man's life. The man whose life I want must be nearly
7219 forty now. This one is little more than a boy. Thank God, I have not
7220 got his blood upon my hands."
7221
7222 The woman gave a bitter laugh. "Little more than a boy!" she sneered.
7223 "Why, man, it's nigh on eighteen years since Prince Charming made me
7224 what I am."
7225
7226 "You lie!" cried James Vane.
7227
7228 She raised her hand up to heaven. "Before God I am telling the truth,"
7229 she cried.
7230
7231 "Before God?"
7232
7233 "Strike me dumb if it ain't so. He is the worst one that comes here.
7234 They say he has sold himself to the devil for a pretty face. It's nigh
7235 on eighteen years since I met him. He hasn't changed much since then.
7236 I have, though," she added, with a sickly leer.
7237
7238 "You swear this?"
7239
7240 "I swear it," came in hoarse echo from her flat mouth. "But don't give
7241 me away to him," she whined; "I am afraid of him. Let me have some
7242 money for my night's lodging."
7243
7244 He broke from her with an oath and rushed to the corner of the street,
7245 but Dorian Gray had disappeared. When he looked back, the woman had
7246 vanished also.
7247
7248
7249
7250 CHAPTER 17
7251
7252 A week later Dorian Gray was sitting in the conservatory at Selby
7253 Royal, talking to the pretty Duchess of Monmouth, who with her husband,
7254 a jaded-looking man of sixty, was amongst his guests. It was tea-time,
7255 and the mellow light of the huge, lace-covered lamp that stood on the
7256 table lit up the delicate china and hammered silver of the service at
7257 which the duchess was presiding. Her white hands were moving daintily
7258 among the cups, and her full red lips were smiling at something that
7259 Dorian had whispered to her. Lord Henry was lying back in a
7260 silk-draped wicker chair, looking at them. On a peach-coloured divan
7261 sat Lady Narborough, pretending to listen to the duke's description of
7262 the last Brazilian beetle that he had added to his collection. Three
7263 young men in elaborate smoking-suits were handing tea-cakes to some of
7264 the women. The house-party consisted of twelve people, and there were
7265 more expected to arrive on the next day.
7266
7267 "What are you two talking about?" said Lord Henry, strolling over to
7268 the table and putting his cup down. "I hope Dorian has told you about
7269 my plan for rechristening everything, Gladys. It is a delightful idea."
7270
7271 "But I don't want to be rechristened, Harry," rejoined the duchess,
7272 looking up at him with her wonderful eyes. "I am quite satisfied with
7273 my own name, and I am sure Mr. Gray should be satisfied with his."
7274
7275 "My dear Gladys, I would not alter either name for the world. They are
7276 both perfect. I was thinking chiefly of flowers. Yesterday I cut an
7277 orchid, for my button-hole. It was a marvellous spotted thing, as
7278 effective as the seven deadly sins. In a thoughtless moment I asked
7279 one of the gardeners what it was called. He told me it was a fine
7280 specimen of _Robinsoniana_, or something dreadful of that kind. It is a
7281 sad truth, but we have lost the faculty of giving lovely names to
7282 things. Names are everything. I never quarrel with actions. My one
7283 quarrel is with words. That is the reason I hate vulgar realism in
7284 literature. The man who could call a spade a spade should be compelled
7285 to use one. It is the only thing he is fit for."
7286
7287 "Then what should we call you, Harry?" she asked.
7288
7289 "His name is Prince Paradox," said Dorian.
7290
7291 "I recognize him in a flash," exclaimed the duchess.
7292
7293 "I won't hear of it," laughed Lord Henry, sinking into a chair. "From
7294 a label there is no escape! I refuse the title."
7295
7296 "Royalties may not abdicate," fell as a warning from pretty lips.
7297
7298 "You wish me to defend my throne, then?"
7299
7300 "Yes."
7301
7302 "I give the truths of to-morrow."
7303
7304 "I prefer the mistakes of to-day," she answered.
7305
7306 "You disarm me, Gladys," he cried, catching the wilfulness of her mood.
7307
7308 "Of your shield, Harry, not of your spear."
7309
7310 "I never tilt against beauty," he said, with a wave of his hand.
7311
7312 "That is your error, Harry, believe me. You value beauty far too much."
7313
7314 "How can you say that? I admit that I think that it is better to be
7315 beautiful than to be good. But on the other hand, no one is more ready
7316 than I am to acknowledge that it is better to be good than to be ugly."
7317
7318 "Ugliness is one of the seven deadly sins, then?" cried the duchess.
7319 "What becomes of your simile about the orchid?"
7320
7321 "Ugliness is one of the seven deadly virtues, Gladys. You, as a good
7322 Tory, must not underrate them. Beer, the Bible, and the seven deadly
7323 virtues have made our England what she is."
7324
7325 "You don't like your country, then?" she asked.
7326
7327 "I live in it."
7328
7329 "That you may censure it the better."
7330
7331 "Would you have me take the verdict of Europe on it?" he inquired.
7332
7333 "What do they say of us?"
7334
7335 "That Tartuffe has emigrated to England and opened a shop."
7336
7337 "Is that yours, Harry?"
7338
7339 "I give it to you."
7340
7341 "I could not use it. It is too true."
7342
7343 "You need not be afraid. Our countrymen never recognize a description."
7344
7345 "They are practical."
7346
7347 "They are more cunning than practical. When they make up their ledger,
7348 they balance stupidity by wealth, and vice by hypocrisy."
7349
7350 "Still, we have done great things."
7351
7352 "Great things have been thrust on us, Gladys."
7353
7354 "We have carried their burden."
7355
7356 "Only as far as the Stock Exchange."
7357
7358 She shook her head. "I believe in the race," she cried.
7359
7360 "It represents the survival of the pushing."
7361
7362 "It has development."
7363
7364 "Decay fascinates me more."
7365
7366 "What of art?" she asked.
7367
7368 "It is a malady."
7369
7370 "Love?"
7371
7372 "An illusion."
7373
7374 "Religion?"
7375
7376 "The fashionable substitute for belief."
7377
7378 "You are a sceptic."
7379
7380 "Never! Scepticism is the beginning of faith."
7381
7382 "What are you?"
7383
7384 "To define is to limit."
7385
7386 "Give me a clue."
7387
7388 "Threads snap. You would lose your way in the labyrinth."
7389
7390 "You bewilder me. Let us talk of some one else."
7391
7392 "Our host is a delightful topic. Years ago he was christened Prince
7393 Charming."
7394
7395 "Ah! don't remind me of that," cried Dorian Gray.
7396
7397 "Our host is rather horrid this evening," answered the duchess,
7398 colouring. "I believe he thinks that Monmouth married me on purely
7399 scientific principles as the best specimen he could find of a modern
7400 butterfly."
7401
7402 "Well, I hope he won't stick pins into you, Duchess," laughed Dorian.
7403
7404 "Oh! my maid does that already, Mr. Gray, when she is annoyed with me."
7405
7406 "And what does she get annoyed with you about, Duchess?"
7407
7408 "For the most trivial things, Mr. Gray, I assure you. Usually because
7409 I come in at ten minutes to nine and tell her that I must be dressed by
7410 half-past eight."
7411
7412 "How unreasonable of her! You should give her warning."
7413
7414 "I daren't, Mr. Gray. Why, she invents hats for me. You remember the
7415 one I wore at Lady Hilstone's garden-party? You don't, but it is nice
7416 of you to pretend that you do. Well, she made it out of nothing. All
7417 good hats are made out of nothing."
7418
7419 "Like all good reputations, Gladys," interrupted Lord Henry. "Every
7420 effect that one produces gives one an enemy. To be popular one must be
7421 a mediocrity."
7422
7423 "Not with women," said the duchess, shaking her head; "and women rule
7424 the world. I assure you we can't bear mediocrities. We women, as some
7425 one says, love with our ears, just as you men love with your eyes, if
7426 you ever love at all."
7427
7428 "It seems to me that we never do anything else," murmured Dorian.
7429
7430 "Ah! then, you never really love, Mr. Gray," answered the duchess with
7431 mock sadness.
7432
7433 "My dear Gladys!" cried Lord Henry. "How can you say that? Romance
7434 lives by repetition, and repetition converts an appetite into an art.
7435 Besides, each time that one loves is the only time one has ever loved.
7436 Difference of object does not alter singleness of passion. It merely
7437 intensifies it. We can have in life but one great experience at best,
7438 and the secret of life is to reproduce that experience as often as
7439 possible."
7440
7441 "Even when one has been wounded by it, Harry?" asked the duchess after
7442 a pause.
7443
7444 "Especially when one has been wounded by it," answered Lord Henry.
7445
7446 The duchess turned and looked at Dorian Gray with a curious expression
7447 in her eyes. "What do you say to that, Mr. Gray?" she inquired.
7448
7449 Dorian hesitated for a moment. Then he threw his head back and
7450 laughed. "I always agree with Harry, Duchess."
7451
7452 "Even when he is wrong?"
7453
7454 "Harry is never wrong, Duchess."
7455
7456 "And does his philosophy make you happy?"
7457
7458 "I have never searched for happiness. Who wants happiness? I have
7459 searched for pleasure."
7460
7461 "And found it, Mr. Gray?"
7462
7463 "Often. Too often."
7464
7465 The duchess sighed. "I am searching for peace," she said, "and if I
7466 don't go and dress, I shall have none this evening."
7467
7468 "Let me get you some orchids, Duchess," cried Dorian, starting to his
7469 feet and walking down the conservatory.
7470
7471 "You are flirting disgracefully with him," said Lord Henry to his
7472 cousin. "You had better take care. He is very fascinating."
7473
7474 "If he were not, there would be no battle."
7475
7476 "Greek meets Greek, then?"
7477
7478 "I am on the side of the Trojans. They fought for a woman."
7479
7480 "They were defeated."
7481
7482 "There are worse things than capture," she answered.
7483
7484 "You gallop with a loose rein."
7485
7486 "Pace gives life," was the _riposte_.
7487
7488 "I shall write it in my diary to-night."
7489
7490 "What?"
7491
7492 "That a burnt child loves the fire."
7493
7494 "I am not even singed. My wings are untouched."
7495
7496 "You use them for everything, except flight."
7497
7498 "Courage has passed from men to women. It is a new experience for us."
7499
7500 "You have a rival."
7501
7502 "Who?"
7503
7504 He laughed. "Lady Narborough," he whispered. "She perfectly adores
7505 him."
7506
7507 "You fill me with apprehension. The appeal to antiquity is fatal to us
7508 who are romanticists."
7509
7510 "Romanticists! You have all the methods of science."
7511
7512 "Men have educated us."
7513
7514 "But not explained you."
7515
7516 "Describe us as a sex," was her challenge.
7517
7518 "Sphinxes without secrets."
7519
7520 She looked at him, smiling. "How long Mr. Gray is!" she said. "Let us
7521 go and help him. I have not yet told him the colour of my frock."
7522
7523 "Ah! you must suit your frock to his flowers, Gladys."
7524
7525 "That would be a premature surrender."
7526
7527 "Romantic art begins with its climax."
7528
7529 "I must keep an opportunity for retreat."
7530
7531 "In the Parthian manner?"
7532
7533 "They found safety in the desert. I could not do that."
7534
7535 "Women are not always allowed a choice," he answered, but hardly had he
7536 finished the sentence before from the far end of the conservatory came
7537 a stifled groan, followed by the dull sound of a heavy fall. Everybody
7538 started up. The duchess stood motionless in horror. And with fear in
7539 his eyes, Lord Henry rushed through the flapping palms to find Dorian
7540 Gray lying face downwards on the tiled floor in a deathlike swoon.
7541
7542 He was carried at once into the blue drawing-room and laid upon one of
7543 the sofas. After a short time, he came to himself and looked round
7544 with a dazed expression.
7545
7546 "What has happened?" he asked. "Oh! I remember. Am I safe here,
7547 Harry?" He began to tremble.
7548
7549 "My dear Dorian," answered Lord Henry, "you merely fainted. That was
7550 all. You must have overtired yourself. You had better not come down
7551 to dinner. I will take your place."
7552
7553 "No, I will come down," he said, struggling to his feet. "I would
7554 rather come down. I must not be alone."
7555
7556 He went to his room and dressed. There was a wild recklessness of
7557 gaiety in his manner as he sat at table, but now and then a thrill of
7558 terror ran through him when he remembered that, pressed against the
7559 window of the conservatory, like a white handkerchief, he had seen the
7560 face of James Vane watching him.
7561
7562
7563
7564 CHAPTER 18
7565
7566 The next day he did not leave the house, and, indeed, spent most of the
7567 time in his own room, sick with a wild terror of dying, and yet
7568 indifferent to life itself. The consciousness of being hunted, snared,
7569 tracked down, had begun to dominate him. If the tapestry did but
7570 tremble in the wind, he shook. The dead leaves that were blown against
7571 the leaded panes seemed to him like his own wasted resolutions and wild
7572 regrets. When he closed his eyes, he saw again the sailor's face
7573 peering through the mist-stained glass, and horror seemed once more to
7574 lay its hand upon his heart.
7575
7576 But perhaps it had been only his fancy that had called vengeance out of
7577 the night and set the hideous shapes of punishment before him. Actual
7578 life was chaos, but there was something terribly logical in the
7579 imagination. It was the imagination that set remorse to dog the feet
7580 of sin. It was the imagination that made each crime bear its misshapen
7581 brood. In the common world of fact the wicked were not punished, nor
7582 the good rewarded. Success was given to the strong, failure thrust
7583 upon the weak. That was all. Besides, had any stranger been prowling
7584 round the house, he would have been seen by the servants or the
7585 keepers. Had any foot-marks been found on the flower-beds, the
7586 gardeners would have reported it. Yes, it had been merely fancy.
7587 Sibyl Vane's brother had not come back to kill him. He had sailed away
7588 in his ship to founder in some winter sea. From him, at any rate, he
7589 was safe. Why, the man did not know who he was, could not know who he
7590 was. The mask of youth had saved him.
7591
7592 And yet if it had been merely an illusion, how terrible it was to think
7593 that conscience could raise such fearful phantoms, and give them
7594 visible form, and make them move before one! What sort of life would
7595 his be if, day and night, shadows of his crime were to peer at him from
7596 silent corners, to mock him from secret places, to whisper in his ear
7597 as he sat at the feast, to wake him with icy fingers as he lay asleep!
7598 As the thought crept through his brain, he grew pale with terror, and
7599 the air seemed to him to have become suddenly colder. Oh! in what a
7600 wild hour of madness he had killed his friend! How ghastly the mere
7601 memory of the scene! He saw it all again. Each hideous detail came
7602 back to him with added horror. Out of the black cave of time, terrible
7603 and swathed in scarlet, rose the image of his sin. When Lord Henry
7604 came in at six o'clock, he found him crying as one whose heart will
7605 break.
7606
7607 It was not till the third day that he ventured to go out. There was
7608 something in the clear, pine-scented air of that winter morning that
7609 seemed to bring him back his joyousness and his ardour for life. But
7610 it was not merely the physical conditions of environment that had
7611 caused the change. His own nature had revolted against the excess of
7612 anguish that had sought to maim and mar the perfection of its calm.
7613 With subtle and finely wrought temperaments it is always so. Their
7614 strong passions must either bruise or bend. They either slay the man,
7615 or themselves die. Shallow sorrows and shallow loves live on. The
7616 loves and sorrows that are great are destroyed by their own plenitude.
7617 Besides, he had convinced himself that he had been the victim of a
7618 terror-stricken imagination, and looked back now on his fears with
7619 something of pity and not a little of contempt.
7620
7621 After breakfast, he walked with the duchess for an hour in the garden
7622 and then drove across the park to join the shooting-party. The crisp
7623 frost lay like salt upon the grass. The sky was an inverted cup of
7624 blue metal. A thin film of ice bordered the flat, reed-grown lake.
7625
7626 At the corner of the pine-wood he caught sight of Sir Geoffrey
7627 Clouston, the duchess's brother, jerking two spent cartridges out of
7628 his gun. He jumped from the cart, and having told the groom to take
7629 the mare home, made his way towards his guest through the withered
7630 bracken and rough undergrowth.
7631
7632 "Have you had good sport, Geoffrey?" he asked.
7633
7634 "Not very good, Dorian. I think most of the birds have gone to the
7635 open. I dare say it will be better after lunch, when we get to new
7636 ground."
7637
7638 Dorian strolled along by his side. The keen aromatic air, the brown
7639 and red lights that glimmered in the wood, the hoarse cries of the
7640 beaters ringing out from time to time, and the sharp snaps of the guns
7641 that followed, fascinated him and filled him with a sense of delightful
7642 freedom. He was dominated by the carelessness of happiness, by the
7643 high indifference of joy.
7644
7645 Suddenly from a lumpy tussock of old grass some twenty yards in front
7646 of them, with black-tipped ears erect and long hinder limbs throwing it
7647 forward, started a hare. It bolted for a thicket of alders. Sir
7648 Geoffrey put his gun to his shoulder, but there was something in the
7649 animal's grace of movement that strangely charmed Dorian Gray, and he
7650 cried out at once, "Don't shoot it, Geoffrey. Let it live."
7651
7652 "What nonsense, Dorian!" laughed his companion, and as the hare bounded
7653 into the thicket, he fired. There were two cries heard, the cry of a
7654 hare in pain, which is dreadful, the cry of a man in agony, which is
7655 worse.
7656
7657 "Good heavens! I have hit a beater!" exclaimed Sir Geoffrey. "What an
7658 ass the man was to get in front of the guns! Stop shooting there!" he
7659 called out at the top of his voice. "A man is hurt."
7660
7661 The head-keeper came running up with a stick in his hand.
7662
7663 "Where, sir? Where is he?" he shouted. At the same time, the firing
7664 ceased along the line.
7665
7666 "Here," answered Sir Geoffrey angrily, hurrying towards the thicket.
7667 "Why on earth don't you keep your men back? Spoiled my shooting for
7668 the day."
7669
7670 Dorian watched them as they plunged into the alder-clump, brushing the
7671 lithe swinging branches aside. In a few moments they emerged, dragging
7672 a body after them into the sunlight. He turned away in horror. It
7673 seemed to him that misfortune followed wherever he went. He heard Sir
7674 Geoffrey ask if the man was really dead, and the affirmative answer of
7675 the keeper. The wood seemed to him to have become suddenly alive with
7676 faces. There was the trampling of myriad feet and the low buzz of
7677 voices. A great copper-breasted pheasant came beating through the
7678 boughs overhead.
7679
7680 After a few moments--that were to him, in his perturbed state, like
7681 endless hours of pain--he felt a hand laid on his shoulder. He started
7682 and looked round.
7683
7684 "Dorian," said Lord Henry, "I had better tell them that the shooting is
7685 stopped for to-day. It would not look well to go on."
7686
7687 "I wish it were stopped for ever, Harry," he answered bitterly. "The
7688 whole thing is hideous and cruel. Is the man ...?"
7689
7690 He could not finish the sentence.
7691
7692 "I am afraid so," rejoined Lord Henry. "He got the whole charge of
7693 shot in his chest. He must have died almost instantaneously. Come;
7694 let us go home."
7695
7696 They walked side by side in the direction of the avenue for nearly
7697 fifty yards without speaking. Then Dorian looked at Lord Henry and
7698 said, with a heavy sigh, "It is a bad omen, Harry, a very bad omen."
7699
7700 "What is?" asked Lord Henry. "Oh! this accident, I suppose. My dear
7701 fellow, it can't be helped. It was the man's own fault. Why did he
7702 get in front of the guns? Besides, it is nothing to us. It is rather
7703 awkward for Geoffrey, of course. It does not do to pepper beaters. It
7704 makes people think that one is a wild shot. And Geoffrey is not; he
7705 shoots very straight. But there is no use talking about the matter."
7706
7707 Dorian shook his head. "It is a bad omen, Harry. I feel as if
7708 something horrible were going to happen to some of us. To myself,
7709 perhaps," he added, passing his hand over his eyes, with a gesture of
7710 pain.
7711
7712 The elder man laughed. "The only horrible thing in the world is _ennui_,
7713 Dorian. That is the one sin for which there is no forgiveness. But we
7714 are not likely to suffer from it unless these fellows keep chattering
7715 about this thing at dinner. I must tell them that the subject is to be
7716 tabooed. As for omens, there is no such thing as an omen. Destiny
7717 does not send us heralds. She is too wise or too cruel for that.
7718 Besides, what on earth could happen to you, Dorian? You have
7719 everything in the world that a man can want. There is no one who would
7720 not be delighted to change places with you."
7721
7722 "There is no one with whom I would not change places, Harry. Don't
7723 laugh like that. I am telling you the truth. The wretched peasant who
7724 has just died is better off than I am. I have no terror of death. It
7725 is the coming of death that terrifies me. Its monstrous wings seem to
7726 wheel in the leaden air around me. Good heavens! don't you see a man
7727 moving behind the trees there, watching me, waiting for me?"
7728
7729 Lord Henry looked in the direction in which the trembling gloved hand
7730 was pointing. "Yes," he said, smiling, "I see the gardener waiting for
7731 you. I suppose he wants to ask you what flowers you wish to have on
7732 the table to-night. How absurdly nervous you are, my dear fellow! You
7733 must come and see my doctor, when we get back to town."
7734
7735 Dorian heaved a sigh of relief as he saw the gardener approaching. The
7736 man touched his hat, glanced for a moment at Lord Henry in a hesitating
7737 manner, and then produced a letter, which he handed to his master.
7738 "Her Grace told me to wait for an answer," he murmured.
7739
7740 Dorian put the letter into his pocket. "Tell her Grace that I am
7741 coming in," he said, coldly. The man turned round and went rapidly in
7742 the direction of the house.
7743
7744 "How fond women are of doing dangerous things!" laughed Lord Henry.
7745 "It is one of the qualities in them that I admire most. A woman will
7746 flirt with anybody in the world as long as other people are looking on."
7747
7748 "How fond you are of saying dangerous things, Harry! In the present
7749 instance, you are quite astray. I like the duchess very much, but I
7750 don't love her."
7751
7752 "And the duchess loves you very much, but she likes you less, so you
7753 are excellently matched."
7754
7755 "You are talking scandal, Harry, and there is never any basis for
7756 scandal."
7757
7758 "The basis of every scandal is an immoral certainty," said Lord Henry,
7759 lighting a cigarette.
7760
7761 "You would sacrifice anybody, Harry, for the sake of an epigram."
7762
7763 "The world goes to the altar of its own accord," was the answer.
7764
7765 "I wish I could love," cried Dorian Gray with a deep note of pathos in
7766 his voice. "But I seem to have lost the passion and forgotten the
7767 desire. I am too much concentrated on myself. My own personality has
7768 become a burden to me. I want to escape, to go away, to forget. It
7769 was silly of me to come down here at all. I think I shall send a wire
7770 to Harvey to have the yacht got ready. On a yacht one is safe."
7771
7772 "Safe from what, Dorian? You are in some trouble. Why not tell me
7773 what it is? You know I would help you."
7774
7775 "I can't tell you, Harry," he answered sadly. "And I dare say it is
7776 only a fancy of mine. This unfortunate accident has upset me. I have
7777 a horrible presentiment that something of the kind may happen to me."
7778
7779 "What nonsense!"
7780
7781 "I hope it is, but I can't help feeling it. Ah! here is the duchess,
7782 looking like Artemis in a tailor-made gown. You see we have come back,
7783 Duchess."
7784
7785 "I have heard all about it, Mr. Gray," she answered. "Poor Geoffrey is
7786 terribly upset. And it seems that you asked him not to shoot the hare.
7787 How curious!"
7788
7789 "Yes, it was very curious. I don't know what made me say it. Some
7790 whim, I suppose. It looked the loveliest of little live things. But I
7791 am sorry they told you about the man. It is a hideous subject."
7792
7793 "It is an annoying subject," broke in Lord Henry. "It has no
7794 psychological value at all. Now if Geoffrey had done the thing on
7795 purpose, how interesting he would be! I should like to know some one
7796 who had committed a real murder."
7797
7798 "How horrid of you, Harry!" cried the duchess. "Isn't it, Mr. Gray?
7799 Harry, Mr. Gray is ill again. He is going to faint."
7800
7801 Dorian drew himself up with an effort and smiled. "It is nothing,
7802 Duchess," he murmured; "my nerves are dreadfully out of order. That is
7803 all. I am afraid I walked too far this morning. I didn't hear what
7804 Harry said. Was it very bad? You must tell me some other time. I
7805 think I must go and lie down. You will excuse me, won't you?"
7806
7807 They had reached the great flight of steps that led from the
7808 conservatory on to the terrace. As the glass door closed behind
7809 Dorian, Lord Henry turned and looked at the duchess with his slumberous
7810 eyes. "Are you very much in love with him?" he asked.
7811
7812 She did not answer for some time, but stood gazing at the landscape.
7813 "I wish I knew," she said at last.
7814
7815 He shook his head. "Knowledge would be fatal. It is the uncertainty
7816 that charms one. A mist makes things wonderful."
7817
7818 "One may lose one's way."
7819
7820 "All ways end at the same point, my dear Gladys."
7821
7822 "What is that?"
7823
7824 "Disillusion."
7825
7826 "It was my _debut_ in life," she sighed.
7827
7828 "It came to you crowned."
7829
7830 "I am tired of strawberry leaves."
7831
7832 "They become you."
7833
7834 "Only in public."
7835
7836 "You would miss them," said Lord Henry.
7837
7838 "I will not part with a petal."
7839
7840 "Monmouth has ears."
7841
7842 "Old age is dull of hearing."
7843
7844 "Has he never been jealous?"
7845
7846 "I wish he had been."
7847
7848 He glanced about as if in search of something. "What are you looking
7849 for?" she inquired.
7850
7851 "The button from your foil," he answered. "You have dropped it."
7852
7853 She laughed. "I have still the mask."
7854
7855 "It makes your eyes lovelier," was his reply.
7856
7857 She laughed again. Her teeth showed like white seeds in a scarlet
7858 fruit.
7859
7860 Upstairs, in his own room, Dorian Gray was lying on a sofa, with terror
7861 in every tingling fibre of his body. Life had suddenly become too
7862 hideous a burden for him to bear. The dreadful death of the unlucky
7863 beater, shot in the thicket like a wild animal, had seemed to him to
7864 pre-figure death for himself also. He had nearly swooned at what Lord
7865 Henry had said in a chance mood of cynical jesting.
7866
7867 At five o'clock he rang his bell for his servant and gave him orders to
7868 pack his things for the night-express to town, and to have the brougham
7869 at the door by eight-thirty. He was determined not to sleep another
7870 night at Selby Royal. It was an ill-omened place. Death walked there
7871 in the sunlight. The grass of the forest had been spotted with blood.
7872
7873 Then he wrote a note to Lord Henry, telling him that he was going up to
7874 town to consult his doctor and asking him to entertain his guests in
7875 his absence. As he was putting it into the envelope, a knock came to
7876 the door, and his valet informed him that the head-keeper wished to see
7877 him. He frowned and bit his lip. "Send him in," he muttered, after
7878 some moments' hesitation.
7879
7880 As soon as the man entered, Dorian pulled his chequebook out of a
7881 drawer and spread it out before him.
7882
7883 "I suppose you have come about the unfortunate accident of this
7884 morning, Thornton?" he said, taking up a pen.
7885
7886 "Yes, sir," answered the gamekeeper.
7887
7888 "Was the poor fellow married? Had he any people dependent on him?"
7889 asked Dorian, looking bored. "If so, I should not like them to be left
7890 in want, and will send them any sum of money you may think necessary."
7891
7892 "We don't know who he is, sir. That is what I took the liberty of
7893 coming to you about."
7894
7895 "Don't know who he is?" said Dorian, listlessly. "What do you mean?
7896 Wasn't he one of your men?"
7897
7898 "No, sir. Never saw him before. Seems like a sailor, sir."
7899
7900 The pen dropped from Dorian Gray's hand, and he felt as if his heart
7901 had suddenly stopped beating. "A sailor?" he cried out. "Did you say
7902 a sailor?"
7903
7904 "Yes, sir. He looks as if he had been a sort of sailor; tattooed on
7905 both arms, and that kind of thing."
7906
7907 "Was there anything found on him?" said Dorian, leaning forward and
7908 looking at the man with startled eyes. "Anything that would tell his
7909 name?"
7910
7911 "Some money, sir--not much, and a six-shooter. There was no name of any
7912 kind. A decent-looking man, sir, but rough-like. A sort of sailor we
7913 think."
7914
7915 Dorian started to his feet. A terrible hope fluttered past him. He
7916 clutched at it madly. "Where is the body?" he exclaimed. "Quick! I
7917 must see it at once."
7918
7919 "It is in an empty stable in the Home Farm, sir. The folk don't like
7920 to have that sort of thing in their houses. They say a corpse brings
7921 bad luck."
7922
7923 "The Home Farm! Go there at once and meet me. Tell one of the grooms
7924 to bring my horse round. No. Never mind. I'll go to the stables
7925 myself. It will save time."
7926
7927 In less than a quarter of an hour, Dorian Gray was galloping down the
7928 long avenue as hard as he could go. The trees seemed to sweep past him
7929 in spectral procession, and wild shadows to fling themselves across his
7930 path. Once the mare swerved at a white gate-post and nearly threw him.
7931 He lashed her across the neck with his crop. She cleft the dusky air
7932 like an arrow. The stones flew from her hoofs.
7933
7934 At last he reached the Home Farm. Two men were loitering in the yard.
7935 He leaped from the saddle and threw the reins to one of them. In the
7936 farthest stable a light was glimmering. Something seemed to tell him
7937 that the body was there, and he hurried to the door and put his hand
7938 upon the latch.
7939
7940 There he paused for a moment, feeling that he was on the brink of a
7941 discovery that would either make or mar his life. Then he thrust the
7942 door open and entered.
7943
7944 On a heap of sacking in the far corner was lying the dead body of a man
7945 dressed in a coarse shirt and a pair of blue trousers. A spotted
7946 handkerchief had been placed over the face. A coarse candle, stuck in
7947 a bottle, sputtered beside it.
7948
7949 Dorian Gray shuddered. He felt that his could not be the hand to take
7950 the handkerchief away, and called out to one of the farm-servants to
7951 come to him.
7952
7953 "Take that thing off the face. I wish to see it," he said, clutching
7954 at the door-post for support.
7955
7956 When the farm-servant had done so, he stepped forward. A cry of joy
7957 broke from his lips. The man who had been shot in the thicket was
7958 James Vane.
7959
7960 He stood there for some minutes looking at the dead body. As he rode
7961 home, his eyes were full of tears, for he knew he was safe.
7962
7963
7964
7965 CHAPTER 19
7966
7967 "There is no use your telling me that you are going to be good," cried
7968 Lord Henry, dipping his white fingers into a red copper bowl filled
7969 with rose-water. "You are quite perfect. Pray, don't change."
7970
7971 Dorian Gray shook his head. "No, Harry, I have done too many dreadful
7972 things in my life. I am not going to do any more. I began my good
7973 actions yesterday."
7974
7975 "Where were you yesterday?"
7976
7977 "In the country, Harry. I was staying at a little inn by myself."
7978
7979 "My dear boy," said Lord Henry, smiling, "anybody can be good in the
7980 country. There are no temptations there. That is the reason why
7981 people who live out of town are so absolutely uncivilized.
7982 Civilization is not by any means an easy thing to attain to. There are
7983 only two ways by which man can reach it. One is by being cultured, the
7984 other by being corrupt. Country people have no opportunity of being
7985 either, so they stagnate."
7986
7987 "Culture and corruption," echoed Dorian. "I have known something of
7988 both. It seems terrible to me now that they should ever be found
7989 together. For I have a new ideal, Harry. I am going to alter. I
7990 think I have altered."
7991
7992 "You have not yet told me what your good action was. Or did you say
7993 you had done more than one?" asked his companion as he spilled into his
7994 plate a little crimson pyramid of seeded strawberries and, through a
7995 perforated, shell-shaped spoon, snowed white sugar upon them.
7996
7997 "I can tell you, Harry. It is not a story I could tell to any one
7998 else. I spared somebody. It sounds vain, but you understand what I
7999 mean. She was quite beautiful and wonderfully like Sibyl Vane. I
8000 think it was that which first attracted me to her. You remember Sibyl,
8001 don't you? How long ago that seems! Well, Hetty was not one of our
8002 own class, of course. She was simply a girl in a village. But I
8003 really loved her. I am quite sure that I loved her. All during this
8004 wonderful May that we have been having, I used to run down and see her
8005 two or three times a week. Yesterday she met me in a little orchard.
8006 The apple-blossoms kept tumbling down on her hair, and she was
8007 laughing. We were to have gone away together this morning at dawn.
8008 Suddenly I determined to leave her as flowerlike as I had found her."
8009
8010 "I should think the novelty of the emotion must have given you a thrill
8011 of real pleasure, Dorian," interrupted Lord Henry. "But I can finish
8012 your idyll for you. You gave her good advice and broke her heart.
8013 That was the beginning of your reformation."
8014
8015 "Harry, you are horrible! You mustn't say these dreadful things.
8016 Hetty's heart is not broken. Of course, she cried and all that. But
8017 there is no disgrace upon her. She can live, like Perdita, in her
8018 garden of mint and marigold."
8019
8020 "And weep over a faithless Florizel," said Lord Henry, laughing, as he
8021 leaned back in his chair. "My dear Dorian, you have the most curiously
8022 boyish moods. Do you think this girl will ever be really content now
8023 with any one of her own rank? I suppose she will be married some day
8024 to a rough carter or a grinning ploughman. Well, the fact of having
8025 met you, and loved you, will teach her to despise her husband, and she
8026 will be wretched. From a moral point of view, I cannot say that I
8027 think much of your great renunciation. Even as a beginning, it is
8028 poor. Besides, how do you know that Hetty isn't floating at the
8029 present moment in some starlit mill-pond, with lovely water-lilies
8030 round her, like Ophelia?"
8031
8032 "I can't bear this, Harry! You mock at everything, and then suggest
8033 the most serious tragedies. I am sorry I told you now. I don't care
8034 what you say to me. I know I was right in acting as I did. Poor
8035 Hetty! As I rode past the farm this morning, I saw her white face at
8036 the window, like a spray of jasmine. Don't let us talk about it any
8037 more, and don't try to persuade me that the first good action I have
8038 done for years, the first little bit of self-sacrifice I have ever
8039 known, is really a sort of sin. I want to be better. I am going to be
8040 better. Tell me something about yourself. What is going on in town?
8041 I have not been to the club for days."
8042
8043 "The people are still discussing poor Basil's disappearance."
8044
8045 "I should have thought they had got tired of that by this time," said
8046 Dorian, pouring himself out some wine and frowning slightly.
8047
8048 "My dear boy, they have only been talking about it for six weeks, and
8049 the British public are really not equal to the mental strain of having
8050 more than one topic every three months. They have been very fortunate
8051 lately, however. They have had my own divorce-case and Alan Campbell's
8052 suicide. Now they have got the mysterious disappearance of an artist.
8053 Scotland Yard still insists that the man in the grey ulster who left
8054 for Paris by the midnight train on the ninth of November was poor
8055 Basil, and the French police declare that Basil never arrived in Paris
8056 at all. I suppose in about a fortnight we shall be told that he has
8057 been seen in San Francisco. It is an odd thing, but every one who
8058 disappears is said to be seen at San Francisco. It must be a
8059 delightful city, and possess all the attractions of the next world."
8060
8061 "What do you think has happened to Basil?" asked Dorian, holding up his
8062 Burgundy against the light and wondering how it was that he could
8063 discuss the matter so calmly.
8064
8065 "I have not the slightest idea. If Basil chooses to hide himself, it
8066 is no business of mine. If he is dead, I don't want to think about
8067 him. Death is the only thing that ever terrifies me. I hate it."
8068
8069 "Why?" said the younger man wearily.
8070
8071 "Because," said Lord Henry, passing beneath his nostrils the gilt
8072 trellis of an open vinaigrette box, "one can survive everything
8073 nowadays except that. Death and vulgarity are the only two facts in
8074 the nineteenth century that one cannot explain away. Let us have our
8075 coffee in the music-room, Dorian. You must play Chopin to me. The man
8076 with whom my wife ran away played Chopin exquisitely. Poor Victoria!
8077 I was very fond of her. The house is rather lonely without her. Of
8078 course, married life is merely a habit, a bad habit. But then one
8079 regrets the loss even of one's worst habits. Perhaps one regrets them
8080 the most. They are such an essential part of one's personality."
8081
8082 Dorian said nothing, but rose from the table, and passing into the next
8083 room, sat down to the piano and let his fingers stray across the white
8084 and black ivory of the keys. After the coffee had been brought in, he
8085 stopped, and looking over at Lord Henry, said, "Harry, did it ever
8086 occur to you that Basil was murdered?"
8087
8088 Lord Henry yawned. "Basil was very popular, and always wore a
8089 Waterbury watch. Why should he have been murdered? He was not clever
8090 enough to have enemies. Of course, he had a wonderful genius for
8091 painting. But a man can paint like Velasquez and yet be as dull as
8092 possible. Basil was really rather dull. He only interested me once,
8093 and that was when he told me, years ago, that he had a wild adoration
8094 for you and that you were the dominant motive of his art."
8095
8096 "I was very fond of Basil," said Dorian with a note of sadness in his
8097 voice. "But don't people say that he was murdered?"
8098
8099 "Oh, some of the papers do. It does not seem to me to be at all
8100 probable. I know there are dreadful places in Paris, but Basil was not
8101 the sort of man to have gone to them. He had no curiosity. It was his
8102 chief defect."
8103
8104 "What would you say, Harry, if I told you that I had murdered Basil?"
8105 said the younger man. He watched him intently after he had spoken.
8106
8107 "I would say, my dear fellow, that you were posing for a character that
8108 doesn't suit you. All crime is vulgar, just as all vulgarity is crime.
8109 It is not in you, Dorian, to commit a murder. I am sorry if I hurt
8110 your vanity by saying so, but I assure you it is true. Crime belongs
8111 exclusively to the lower orders. I don't blame them in the smallest
8112 degree. I should fancy that crime was to them what art is to us,
8113 simply a method of procuring extraordinary sensations."
8114
8115 "A method of procuring sensations? Do you think, then, that a man who
8116 has once committed a murder could possibly do the same crime again?
8117 Don't tell me that."
8118
8119 "Oh! anything becomes a pleasure if one does it too often," cried Lord
8120 Henry, laughing. "That is one of the most important secrets of life.
8121 I should fancy, however, that murder is always a mistake. One should
8122 never do anything that one cannot talk about after dinner. But let us
8123 pass from poor Basil. I wish I could believe that he had come to such
8124 a really romantic end as you suggest, but I can't. I dare say he fell
8125 into the Seine off an omnibus and that the conductor hushed up the
8126 scandal. Yes: I should fancy that was his end. I see him lying now
8127 on his back under those dull-green waters, with the heavy barges
8128 floating over him and long weeds catching in his hair. Do you know, I
8129 don't think he would have done much more good work. During the last
8130 ten years his painting had gone off very much."
8131
8132 Dorian heaved a sigh, and Lord Henry strolled across the room and began
8133 to stroke the head of a curious Java parrot, a large, grey-plumaged
8134 bird with pink crest and tail, that was balancing itself upon a bamboo
8135 perch. As his pointed fingers touched it, it dropped the white scurf
8136 of crinkled lids over black, glasslike eyes and began to sway backwards
8137 and forwards.
8138
8139 "Yes," he continued, turning round and taking his handkerchief out of
8140 his pocket; "his painting had quite gone off. It seemed to me to have
8141 lost something. It had lost an ideal. When you and he ceased to be
8142 great friends, he ceased to be a great artist. What was it separated
8143 you? I suppose he bored you. If so, he never forgave you. It's a
8144 habit bores have. By the way, what has become of that wonderful
8145 portrait he did of you? I don't think I have ever seen it since he
8146 finished it. Oh! I remember your telling me years ago that you had
8147 sent it down to Selby, and that it had got mislaid or stolen on the
8148 way. You never got it back? What a pity! it was really a
8149 masterpiece. I remember I wanted to buy it. I wish I had now. It
8150 belonged to Basil's best period. Since then, his work was that curious
8151 mixture of bad painting and good intentions that always entitles a man
8152 to be called a representative British artist. Did you advertise for
8153 it? You should."
8154
8155 "I forget," said Dorian. "I suppose I did. But I never really liked
8156 it. I am sorry I sat for it. The memory of the thing is hateful to
8157 me. Why do you talk of it? It used to remind me of those curious
8158 lines in some play--Hamlet, I think--how do they run?--
8159
8160 "Like the painting of a sorrow,
8161 A face without a heart."
8162
8163 Yes: that is what it was like."
8164
8165 Lord Henry laughed. "If a man treats life artistically, his brain is
8166 his heart," he answered, sinking into an arm-chair.
8167
8168 Dorian Gray shook his head and struck some soft chords on the piano.
8169 "'Like the painting of a sorrow,'" he repeated, "'a face without a
8170 heart.'"
8171
8172 The elder man lay back and looked at him with half-closed eyes. "By
8173 the way, Dorian," he said after a pause, "'what does it profit a man if
8174 he gain the whole world and lose--how does the quotation run?--his own
8175 soul'?"
8176
8177 The music jarred, and Dorian Gray started and stared at his friend.
8178 "Why do you ask me that, Harry?"
8179
8180 "My dear fellow," said Lord Henry, elevating his eyebrows in surprise,
8181 "I asked you because I thought you might be able to give me an answer.
8182 That is all. I was going through the park last Sunday, and close by
8183 the Marble Arch there stood a little crowd of shabby-looking people
8184 listening to some vulgar street-preacher. As I passed by, I heard the
8185 man yelling out that question to his audience. It struck me as being
8186 rather dramatic. London is very rich in curious effects of that kind.
8187 A wet Sunday, an uncouth Christian in a mackintosh, a ring of sickly
8188 white faces under a broken roof of dripping umbrellas, and a wonderful
8189 phrase flung into the air by shrill hysterical lips--it was really very
8190 good in its way, quite a suggestion. I thought of telling the prophet
8191 that art had a soul, but that man had not. I am afraid, however, he
8192 would not have understood me."
8193
8194 "Don't, Harry. The soul is a terrible reality. It can be bought, and
8195 sold, and bartered away. It can be poisoned, or made perfect. There
8196 is a soul in each one of us. I know it."
8197
8198 "Do you feel quite sure of that, Dorian?"
8199
8200 "Quite sure."
8201
8202 "Ah! then it must be an illusion. The things one feels absolutely
8203 certain about are never true. That is the fatality of faith, and the
8204 lesson of romance. How grave you are! Don't be so serious. What have
8205 you or I to do with the superstitions of our age? No: we have given
8206 up our belief in the soul. Play me something. Play me a nocturne,
8207 Dorian, and, as you play, tell me, in a low voice, how you have kept
8208 your youth. You must have some secret. I am only ten years older than
8209 you are, and I am wrinkled, and worn, and yellow. You are really
8210 wonderful, Dorian. You have never looked more charming than you do
8211 to-night. You remind me of the day I saw you first. You were rather
8212 cheeky, very shy, and absolutely extraordinary. You have changed, of
8213 course, but not in appearance. I wish you would tell me your secret.
8214 To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take
8215 exercise, get up early, or be respectable. Youth! There is nothing
8216 like it. It's absurd to talk of the ignorance of youth. The only
8217 people to whose opinions I listen now with any respect are people much
8218 younger than myself. They seem in front of me. Life has revealed to
8219 them her latest wonder. As for the aged, I always contradict the aged.
8220 I do it on principle. If you ask them their opinion on something that
8221 happened yesterday, they solemnly give you the opinions current in
8222 1820, when people wore high stocks, believed in everything, and knew
8223 absolutely nothing. How lovely that thing you are playing is! I
8224 wonder, did Chopin write it at Majorca, with the sea weeping round the
8225 villa and the salt spray dashing against the panes? It is marvellously
8226 romantic. What a blessing it is that there is one art left to us that
8227 is not imitative! Don't stop. I want music to-night. It seems to me
8228 that you are the young Apollo and that I am Marsyas listening to you.
8229 I have sorrows, Dorian, of my own, that even you know nothing of. The
8230 tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young. I am
8231 amazed sometimes at my own sincerity. Ah, Dorian, how happy you are!
8232 What an exquisite life you have had! You have drunk deeply of
8233 everything. You have crushed the grapes against your palate. Nothing
8234 has been hidden from you. And it has all been to you no more than the
8235 sound of music. It has not marred you. You are still the same."
8236
8237 "I am not the same, Harry."
8238
8239 "Yes, you are the same. I wonder what the rest of your life will be.
8240 Don't spoil it by renunciations. At present you are a perfect type.
8241 Don't make yourself incomplete. You are quite flawless now. You need
8242 not shake your head: you know you are. Besides, Dorian, don't deceive
8243 yourself. Life is not governed by will or intention. Life is a
8244 question of nerves, and fibres, and slowly built-up cells in which
8245 thought hides itself and passion has its dreams. You may fancy
8246 yourself safe and think yourself strong. But a chance tone of colour
8247 in a room or a morning sky, a particular perfume that you had once
8248 loved and that brings subtle memories with it, a line from a forgotten
8249 poem that you had come across again, a cadence from a piece of music
8250 that you had ceased to play--I tell you, Dorian, that it is on things
8251 like these that our lives depend. Browning writes about that
8252 somewhere; but our own senses will imagine them for us. There are
8253 moments when the odour of _lilas blanc_ passes suddenly across me, and I
8254 have to live the strangest month of my life over again. I wish I could
8255 change places with you, Dorian. The world has cried out against us
8256 both, but it has always worshipped you. It always will worship you.
8257 You are the type of what the age is searching for, and what it is
8258 afraid it has found. I am so glad that you have never done anything,
8259 never carved a statue, or painted a picture, or produced anything
8260 outside of yourself! Life has been your art. You have set yourself to
8261 music. Your days are your sonnets."
8262
8263 Dorian rose up from the piano and passed his hand through his hair.
8264 "Yes, life has been exquisite," he murmured, "but I am not going to
8265 have the same life, Harry. And you must not say these extravagant
8266 things to me. You don't know everything about me. I think that if you
8267 did, even you would turn from me. You laugh. Don't laugh."
8268
8269 "Why have you stopped playing, Dorian? Go back and give me the
8270 nocturne over again. Look at that great, honey-coloured moon that
8271 hangs in the dusky air. She is waiting for you to charm her, and if
8272 you play she will come closer to the earth. You won't? Let us go to
8273 the club, then. It has been a charming evening, and we must end it
8274 charmingly. There is some one at White's who wants immensely to know
8275 you--young Lord Poole, Bournemouth's eldest son. He has already copied
8276 your neckties, and has begged me to introduce him to you. He is quite
8277 delightful and rather reminds me of you."
8278
8279 "I hope not," said Dorian with a sad look in his eyes. "But I am tired
8280 to-night, Harry. I shan't go to the club. It is nearly eleven, and I
8281 want to go to bed early."
8282
8283 "Do stay. You have never played so well as to-night. There was
8284 something in your touch that was wonderful. It had more expression
8285 than I had ever heard from it before."
8286
8287 "It is because I am going to be good," he answered, smiling. "I am a
8288 little changed already."
8289
8290 "You cannot change to me, Dorian," said Lord Henry. "You and I will
8291 always be friends."
8292
8293 "Yet you poisoned me with a book once. I should not forgive that.
8294 Harry, promise me that you will never lend that book to any one. It
8295 does harm."
8296
8297 "My dear boy, you are really beginning to moralize. You will soon be
8298 going about like the converted, and the revivalist, warning people
8299 against all the sins of which you have grown tired. You are much too
8300 delightful to do that. Besides, it is no use. You and I are what we
8301 are, and will be what we will be. As for being poisoned by a book,
8302 there is no such thing as that. Art has no influence upon action. It
8303 annihilates the desire to act. It is superbly sterile. The books that
8304 the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame.
8305 That is all. But we won't discuss literature. Come round to-morrow. I
8306 am going to ride at eleven. We might go together, and I will take you
8307 to lunch afterwards with Lady Branksome. She is a charming woman, and
8308 wants to consult you about some tapestries she is thinking of buying.
8309 Mind you come. Or shall we lunch with our little duchess? She says
8310 she never sees you now. Perhaps you are tired of Gladys? I thought
8311 you would be. Her clever tongue gets on one's nerves. Well, in any
8312 case, be here at eleven."
8313
8314 "Must I really come, Harry?"
8315
8316 "Certainly. The park is quite lovely now. I don't think there have
8317 been such lilacs since the year I met you."
8318
8319 "Very well. I shall be here at eleven," said Dorian. "Good night,
8320 Harry." As he reached the door, he hesitated for a moment, as if he
8321 had something more to say. Then he sighed and went out.
8322
8323
8324
8325 CHAPTER 20
8326
8327 It was a lovely night, so warm that he threw his coat over his arm and
8328 did not even put his silk scarf round his throat. As he strolled home,
8329 smoking his cigarette, two young men in evening dress passed him. He
8330 heard one of them whisper to the other, "That is Dorian Gray." He
8331 remembered how pleased he used to be when he was pointed out, or stared
8332 at, or talked about. He was tired of hearing his own name now. Half
8333 the charm of the little village where he had been so often lately was
8334 that no one knew who he was. He had often told the girl whom he had
8335 lured to love him that he was poor, and she had believed him. He had
8336 told her once that he was wicked, and she had laughed at him and
8337 answered that wicked people were always very old and very ugly. What a
8338 laugh she had!--just like a thrush singing. And how pretty she had
8339 been in her cotton dresses and her large hats! She knew nothing, but
8340 she had everything that he had lost.
8341
8342 When he reached home, he found his servant waiting up for him. He sent
8343 him to bed, and threw himself down on the sofa in the library, and
8344 began to think over some of the things that Lord Henry had said to him.
8345
8346 Was it really true that one could never change? He felt a wild longing
8347 for the unstained purity of his boyhood--his rose-white boyhood, as
8348 Lord Henry had once called it. He knew that he had tarnished himself,
8349 filled his mind with corruption and given horror to his fancy; that he
8350 had been an evil influence to others, and had experienced a terrible
8351 joy in being so; and that of the lives that had crossed his own, it had
8352 been the fairest and the most full of promise that he had brought to
8353 shame. But was it all irretrievable? Was there no hope for him?
8354
8355 Ah! in what a monstrous moment of pride and passion he had prayed that
8356 the portrait should bear the burden of his days, and he keep the
8357 unsullied splendour of eternal youth! All his failure had been due to
8358 that. Better for him that each sin of his life had brought its sure
8359 swift penalty along with it. There was purification in punishment.
8360 Not "Forgive us our sins" but "Smite us for our iniquities" should be
8361 the prayer of man to a most just God.
8362
8363 The curiously carved mirror that Lord Henry had given to him, so many
8364 years ago now, was standing on the table, and the white-limbed Cupids
8365 laughed round it as of old. He took it up, as he had done on that
8366 night of horror when he had first noted the change in the fatal
8367 picture, and with wild, tear-dimmed eyes looked into its polished
8368 shield. Once, some one who had terribly loved him had written to him a
8369 mad letter, ending with these idolatrous words: "The world is changed
8370 because you are made of ivory and gold. The curves of your lips
8371 rewrite history." The phrases came back to his memory, and he repeated
8372 them over and over to himself. Then he loathed his own beauty, and
8373 flinging the mirror on the floor, crushed it into silver splinters
8374 beneath his heel. It was his beauty that had ruined him, his beauty
8375 and the youth that he had prayed for. But for those two things, his
8376 life might have been free from stain. His beauty had been to him but a
8377 mask, his youth but a mockery. What was youth at best? A green, an
8378 unripe time, a time of shallow moods, and sickly thoughts. Why had he
8379 worn its livery? Youth had spoiled him.
8380
8381 It was better not to think of the past. Nothing could alter that. It
8382 was of himself, and of his own future, that he had to think. James
8383 Vane was hidden in a nameless grave in Selby churchyard. Alan Campbell
8384 had shot himself one night in his laboratory, but had not revealed the
8385 secret that he had been forced to know. The excitement, such as it
8386 was, over Basil Hallward's disappearance would soon pass away. It was
8387 already waning. He was perfectly safe there. Nor, indeed, was it the
8388 death of Basil Hallward that weighed most upon his mind. It was the
8389 living death of his own soul that troubled him. Basil had painted the
8390 portrait that had marred his life. He could not forgive him that. It
8391 was the portrait that had done everything. Basil had said things to
8392 him that were unbearable, and that he had yet borne with patience. The
8393 murder had been simply the madness of a moment. As for Alan Campbell,
8394 his suicide had been his own act. He had chosen to do it. It was
8395 nothing to him.
8396
8397 A new life! That was what he wanted. That was what he was waiting
8398 for. Surely he had begun it already. He had spared one innocent
8399 thing, at any rate. He would never again tempt innocence. He would be
8400 good.
8401
8402 As he thought of Hetty Merton, he began to wonder if the portrait in
8403 the locked room had changed. Surely it was not still so horrible as it
8404 had been? Perhaps if his life became pure, he would be able to expel
8405 every sign of evil passion from the face. Perhaps the signs of evil
8406 had already gone away. He would go and look.
8407
8408 He took the lamp from the table and crept upstairs. As he unbarred the
8409 door, a smile of joy flitted across his strangely young-looking face
8410 and lingered for a moment about his lips. Yes, he would be good, and
8411 the hideous thing that he had hidden away would no longer be a terror
8412 to him. He felt as if the load had been lifted from him already.
8413
8414 He went in quietly, locking the door behind him, as was his custom, and
8415 dragged the purple hanging from the portrait. A cry of pain and
8416 indignation broke from him. He could see no change, save that in the
8417 eyes there was a look of cunning and in the mouth the curved wrinkle of
8418 the hypocrite. The thing was still loathsome--more loathsome, if
8419 possible, than before--and the scarlet dew that spotted the hand seemed
8420 brighter, and more like blood newly spilled. Then he trembled. Had it
8421 been merely vanity that had made him do his one good deed? Or the
8422 desire for a new sensation, as Lord Henry had hinted, with his mocking
8423 laugh? Or that passion to act a part that sometimes makes us do things
8424 finer than we are ourselves? Or, perhaps, all these? And why was the
8425 red stain larger than it had been? It seemed to have crept like a
8426 horrible disease over the wrinkled fingers. There was blood on the
8427 painted feet, as though the thing had dripped--blood even on the hand
8428 that had not held the knife. Confess? Did it mean that he was to
8429 confess? To give himself up and be put to death? He laughed. He felt
8430 that the idea was monstrous. Besides, even if he did confess, who
8431 would believe him? There was no trace of the murdered man anywhere.
8432 Everything belonging to him had been destroyed. He himself had burned
8433 what had been below-stairs. The world would simply say that he was mad.
8434 They would shut him up if he persisted in his story.... Yet it was
8435 his duty to confess, to suffer public shame, and to make public
8436 atonement. There was a God who called upon men to tell their sins to
8437 earth as well as to heaven. Nothing that he could do would cleanse him
8438 till he had told his own sin. His sin? He shrugged his shoulders.
8439 The death of Basil Hallward seemed very little to him. He was thinking
8440 of Hetty Merton. For it was an unjust mirror, this mirror of his soul
8441 that he was looking at. Vanity? Curiosity? Hypocrisy? Had there
8442 been nothing more in his renunciation than that? There had been
8443 something more. At least he thought so. But who could tell? ... No.
8444 There had been nothing more. Through vanity he had spared her. In
8445 hypocrisy he had worn the mask of goodness. For curiosity's sake he
8446 had tried the denial of self. He recognized that now.
8447
8448 But this murder--was it to dog him all his life? Was he always to be
8449 burdened by his past? Was he really to confess? Never. There was
8450 only one bit of evidence left against him. The picture itself--that
8451 was evidence. He would destroy it. Why had he kept it so long? Once
8452 it had given him pleasure to watch it changing and growing old. Of
8453 late he had felt no such pleasure. It had kept him awake at night.
8454 When he had been away, he had been filled with terror lest other eyes
8455 should look upon it. It had brought melancholy across his passions.
8456 Its mere memory had marred many moments of joy. It had been like
8457 conscience to him. Yes, it had been conscience. He would destroy it.
8458
8459 He looked round and saw the knife that had stabbed Basil Hallward. He
8460 had cleaned it many times, till there was no stain left upon it. It
8461 was bright, and glistened. As it had killed the painter, so it would
8462 kill the painter's work, and all that that meant. It would kill the
8463 past, and when that was dead, he would be free. It would kill this
8464 monstrous soul-life, and without its hideous warnings, he would be at
8465 peace. He seized the thing, and stabbed the picture with it.
8466
8467 There was a cry heard, and a crash. The cry was so horrible in its
8468 agony that the frightened servants woke and crept out of their rooms.
8469 Two gentlemen, who were passing in the square below, stopped and looked
8470 up at the great house. They walked on till they met a policeman and
8471 brought him back. The man rang the bell several times, but there was
8472 no answer. Except for a light in one of the top windows, the house was
8473 all dark. After a time, he went away and stood in an adjoining portico
8474 and watched.
8475
8476 "Whose house is that, Constable?" asked the elder of the two gentlemen.
8477
8478 "Mr. Dorian Gray's, sir," answered the policeman.
8479
8480 They looked at each other, as they walked away, and sneered. One of
8481 them was Sir Henry Ashton's uncle.
8482
8483 Inside, in the servants' part of the house, the half-clad domestics
8484 were talking in low whispers to each other. Old Mrs. Leaf was crying
8485 and wringing her hands. Francis was as pale as death.
8486
8487 After about a quarter of an hour, he got the coachman and one of the
8488 footmen and crept upstairs. They knocked, but there was no reply.
8489 They called out. Everything was still. Finally, after vainly trying
8490 to force the door, they got on the roof and dropped down on to the
8491 balcony. The windows yielded easily--their bolts were old.
8492
8493 When they entered, they found hanging upon the wall a splendid portrait
8494 of their master as they had last seen him, in all the wonder of his
8495 exquisite youth and beauty. Lying on the floor was a dead man, in
8496 evening dress, with a knife in his heart. He was withered, wrinkled,
8497 and loathsome of visage. It was not till they had examined the rings
8498 that they recognized who it was.