Addted table of content and links
[gender-roles-text-analysis.git] / 6688-0.txt
1 The Mill on the Floss
2
3 George Eliot
4
5
6
7
8
9 Table of Contents
10
11
12
13 Book I: Boy and Girl
14
15 1. Outside Dorlcote Mill
16 2. Mr. Tulliver, of Dorlcote Mill, Declares His Resolution about Tom
17 3. Mr. Riley Gives His Advice Concerning a School for Tom
18 4. Tom Is Expected
19 5. Tom Comes Home
20 6. The Aunts and Uncles Are Coming
21 7. Enter the Aunts and Uncles
22 8. Mr. Tulliver Shows His Weaker Side
23 9. To Garum Firs
24 10. Maggie Behaves Worse Than She Expected
25 11. Maggie Tries to Run away from Her Shadow
26 12. Mr. and Mrs. Glegg at Home
27 13. Mr. Tulliver Further Entangles the Skein of Life
28
29
30 Book II: School-Time
31
32 1. Tom's "First Half"
33 2. The Christmas Holidays
34 3. The New Schoolfellow
35 4. "The Young Idea"
36 5. Maggie's Second Visit
37 6. A Love-Scene
38 7. The Golden Gates Are Passed
39
40
41 Book III: The Downfall
42
43 1. What Had Happened at Home
44 2. Mrs. Tulliver's Teraphim, or Household Gods
45 3. The Family Council
46 4. A Vanishing Gleam
47 5. Tom Applies His Knife to the Oyster
48 6. Tending to Refute the Popular Prejudice against the Present of a
49 Pocket-Knife
50 7. How a Hen Takes to Stratagem
51 8. Daylight on the Wreck
52 9. An Item Added to the Family Register
53
54
55 Book IV: The Valley of Humiliation
56
57 1. A Variation of Protestantism Unknown to Bossuet
58 2. The Torn Nest Is Pierced by the Thorns
59 3. A Voice from the Past
60
61
62 Book V: Wheat and Tares
63
64 1. In the Red Deeps
65 2. Aunt Glegg Learns the Breadth of Bob's Thumb
66 3. The Wavering Balance
67 4. Another Love-Scene
68 5. The Cloven Tree
69 6. The Hard-Won Triumph
70 7. A Day of Reckoning
71
72
73 Book VI: The Great Temptation
74
75 1. A Duet in Paradise
76 2. First Impressions
77 3. Confidential Moments
78 4. Brother and Sister
79 5. Showing That Tom Had Opened the Oyster
80 6. Illustrating the Laws of Attraction
81 7. Philip Re-enters
82 8. Wakem in a New Light
83 9. Charity in Full-Dress
84 10. The Spell Seems Broken
85 11. In the Lane
86 12. A Family Party
87 13. Borne Along by the Tide
88 14. Waking
89
90
91 Book VII: The Final Rescue
92
93 1. The Return to the Mill
94 2. St. Ogg's Passes Judgment
95 3. Showing That Old Acquaintances Are Capable of Surprising Us
96 4. Maggie and Lucy
97 5. The Last Conflict
98
99
100
101
102
103 Book I
104
105 _Boy and Girl_
106
107
108
109
110 Chapter I
111
112 Outside Dorlcote Mill
113
114
115 A wide plain, where the broadening Floss hurries on between its green
116 banks to the sea, and the loving tide, rushing to meet it, checks its
117 passage with an impetuous embrace. On this mighty tide the black
118 ships--laden with the fresh-scented fir-planks, with rounded sacks of
119 oil-bearing seed, or with the dark glitter of coal--are borne along to
120 the town of St. Ogg's, which shows its aged, fluted red roofs and the
121 broad gables of its wharves between the low wooded hill and the
122 river-brink, tingeing the water with a soft purple hue under the
123 transient glance of this February sun. Far away on each hand stretch
124 the rich pastures, and the patches of dark earth made ready for the
125 seed of broad-leaved green crops, or touched already with the tint of
126 the tender-bladed autumn-sown corn. There is a remnant still of last
127 year's golden clusters of beehive-ricks rising at intervals beyond the
128 hedgerows; and everywhere the hedgerows are studded with trees; the
129 distant ships seem to be lifting their masts and stretching their
130 red-brown sails close among the branches of the spreading ash. Just by
131 the red-roofed town the tributary Ripple flows with a lively current
132 into the Floss. How lovely the little river is, with its dark changing
133 wavelets! It seems to me like a living companion while I wander along
134 the bank, and listen to its low, placid voice, as to the voice of one
135 who is deaf and loving. I remember those large dipping willows. I
136 remember the stone bridge.
137
138 And this is Dorlcote Mill. I must stand a minute or two here on the
139 bridge and look at it, though the clouds are threatening, and it is
140 far on in the afternoon. Even in this leafless time of departing
141 February it is pleasant to look at,--perhaps the chill, damp season
142 adds a charm to the trimly kept, comfortable dwelling-house, as old as
143 the elms and chestnuts that shelter it from the northern blast. The
144 stream is brimful now, and lies high in this little withy plantation,
145 and half drowns the grassy fringe of the croft in front of the house.
146 As I look at the full stream, the vivid grass, the delicate
147 bright-green powder softening the outline of the great trunks and
148 branches that gleam from under the bare purple boughs, I am in love
149 with moistness, and envy the white ducks that are dipping their heads
150 far into the water here among the withes, unmindful of the awkward
151 appearance they make in the drier world above.
152
153 The rush of the water and the booming of the mill bring a dreamy
154 deafness, which seems to heighten the peacefulness of the scene. They
155 are like a great curtain of sound, shutting one out from the world
156 beyond. And now there is the thunder of the huge covered wagon coming
157 home with sacks of grain. That honest wagoner is thinking of his
158 dinner, getting sadly dry in the oven at this late hour; but he will
159 not touch it till he has fed his horses,--the strong, submissive,
160 meek-eyed beasts, who, I fancy, are looking mild reproach at him from
161 between their blinkers, that he should crack his whip at them in that
162 awful manner as if they needed that hint! See how they stretch their
163 shoulders up the slope toward the bridge, with all the more energy
164 because they are so near home. Look at their grand shaggy feet that
165 seem to grasp the firm earth, at the patient strength of their necks,
166 bowed under the heavy collar, at the mighty muscles of their
167 struggling haunches! I should like well to hear them neigh over their
168 hardly earned feed of corn, and see them, with their moist necks freed
169 from the harness, dipping their eager nostrils into the muddy pond.
170 Now they are on the bridge, and down they go again at a swifter pace,
171 and the arch of the covered wagon disappears at the turning behind the
172 trees.
173
174 Now I can turn my eyes toward the mill again, and watch the unresting
175 wheel sending out its diamond jets of water. That little girl is
176 watching it too; she has been standing on just the same spot at the
177 edge of the water ever since I paused on the bridge. And that queer
178 white cur with the brown ear seems to be leaping and barking in
179 ineffectual remonstrance with the wheel; perhaps he is jealous because
180 his playfellow in the beaver bonnet is so rapt in its movement. It is
181 time the little playfellow went in, I think; and there is a very
182 bright fire to tempt her: the red light shines out under the deepening
183 gray of the sky. It is time, too, for me to leave off resting my arms
184 on the cold stone of this bridge....
185
186 Ah, my arms are really benumbed. I have been pressing my elbows on the
187 arms of my chair, and dreaming that I was standing on the bridge in
188 front of Dorlcote Mill, as it looked one February afternoon many years
189 ago. Before I dozed off, I was going to tell you what Mr. and Mrs.
190 Tulliver were talking about, as they sat by the bright fire in the
191 left-hand parlor, on that very afternoon I have been dreaming of.
192
193
194
195 Chapter II
196
197 Mr. Tulliver, of Dorlcote Mill, Declares His Resolution about Tom
198
199
200 "What I want, you know," said Mr. Tulliver,--"what I want is to give
201 Tom a good eddication; an eddication as'll be a bread to him. That was
202 what I was thinking of when I gave notice for him to leave the academy
203 at Lady-day. I mean to put him to a downright good school at
204 Midsummer. The two years at th' academy 'ud ha' done well enough, if
205 I'd meant to make a miller and farmer of him, for he's had a fine
206 sight more schoolin' nor _I_ ever got. All the learnin' _my_ father
207 ever paid for was a bit o' birch at one end and the alphabet at th'
208 other. But I should like Tom to be a bit of a scholard, so as he might
209 be up to the tricks o' these fellows as talk fine and write with a
210 flourish. It 'ud be a help to me wi' these lawsuits, and arbitrations,
211 and things. I wouldn't make a downright lawyer o' the lad,--I should
212 be sorry for him to be a raskill,--but a sort o' engineer, or a
213 surveyor, or an auctioneer and vallyer, like Riley, or one o' them
214 smartish businesses as are all profits and no outlay, only for a big
215 watch-chain and a high stool. They're pretty nigh all one, and they're
216 not far off being even wi' the law, _I_ believe; for Riley looks
217 Lawyer Wakem i' the face as hard as one cat looks another. _He's_ none
218 frightened at him."
219
220 Mr. Tulliver was speaking to his wife, a blond comely woman in a
221 fan-shaped cap (I am afraid to think how long it is since fan-shaped
222 caps were worn, they must be so near coming in again. At that time,
223 when Mrs. Tulliver was nearly forty, they were new at St. Ogg's, and
224 considered sweet things).
225
226 "Well, Mr. Tulliver, you know best: _I've_ no objections. But hadn't I
227 better kill a couple o' fowl, and have th' aunts and uncles to dinner
228 next week, so as you may hear what sister Glegg and sister Pullet have
229 got to say about it? There's a couple o' fowl _wants_ killing!"
230
231 "You may kill every fowl i' the yard if you like, Bessy; but I shall
232 ask neither aunt nor uncle what I'm to do wi' my own lad," said Mr.
233 Tulliver, defiantly.
234
235 "Dear heart!" said Mrs. Tulliver, shocked at this sanguinary rhetoric,
236 "how can you talk so, Mr. Tulliver? But it's your way to speak
237 disrespectful o' my family; and sister Glegg throws all the blame
238 upo' me, though I'm sure I'm as innocent as the babe unborn. For
239 nobody's ever heard me say as it wasn't lucky for my children to have
240 aunts and uncles as can live independent. Howiver, if Tom's to go to a
241 new school, I should like him to go where I can wash him and mend him;
242 else he might as well have calico as linen, for they'd be one as
243 yallow as th' other before they'd been washed half-a-dozen times. And
244 then, when the box is goin' back'ard and forrard, I could send the lad
245 a cake, or a pork-pie, or an apple; for he can do with an extry bit,
246 bless him! whether they stint him at the meals or no. My children can
247 eat as much victuals as most, thank God!"
248
249 "Well, well, we won't send him out o' reach o' the carrier's cart, if
250 other things fit in," said Mr. Tulliver. "But you mustn't put a spoke
251 i' the wheel about the washin,' if we can't get a school near enough.
252 That's the fault I have to find wi' you, Bessy; if you see a stick i'
253 the road, you're allays thinkin' you can't step over it. You'd want me
254 not to hire a good wagoner, 'cause he'd got a mole on his face."
255
256 "Dear heart!" said Mrs. Tulliver, in mild surprise, "when did I iver
257 make objections to a man because he'd got a mole on his face? I'm sure
258 I'm rether fond o' the moles; for my brother, as is dead an' gone, had
259 a mole on his brow. But I can't remember your iver offering to hire a
260 wagoner with a mole, Mr. Tulliver. There was John Gibbs hadn't a mole
261 on his face no more nor you have, an' I was all for having you hire
262 _him_; an' so you did hire him, an' if he hadn't died o' th'
263 inflammation, as we paid Dr. Turnbull for attending him, he'd very
264 like ha' been drivin' the wagon now. He might have a mole somewhere
265 out o' sight, but how was I to know that, Mr. Tulliver?"
266
267 "No, no, Bessy; I didn't mean justly the mole; I meant it to stand for
268 summat else; but niver mind--it's puzzling work, talking is. What I'm
269 thinking on, is how to find the right sort o' school to send Tom to,
270 for I might be ta'en in again, as I've been wi' th' academy. I'll have
271 nothing to do wi' a 'cademy again: whativer school I send Tom to, it
272 sha'n't be a 'cademy; it shall be a place where the lads spend their
273 time i' summat else besides blacking the family's shoes, and getting
274 up the potatoes. It's an uncommon puzzling thing to know what school
275 to pick."
276
277 Mr. Tulliver paused a minute or two, and dived with both hands into
278 his breeches pockets as if he hoped to find some suggestion there.
279 Apparently he was not disappointed, for he presently said, "I know
280 what I'll do: I'll talk it over wi' Riley; he's coming to-morrow, t'
281 arbitrate about the dam."
282
283 "Well, Mr. Tulliver, I've put the sheets out for the best bed, and
284 Kezia's got 'em hanging at the fire. They aren't the best sheets, but
285 they're good enough for anybody to sleep in, be he who he will; for as
286 for them best Holland sheets, I should repent buying 'em, only they'll
287 do to lay us out in. An' if you was to die to-morrow, Mr. Tulliver,
288 they're mangled beautiful, an' all ready, an' smell o' lavender as it
289 'ud be a pleasure to lay 'em out; an' they lie at the left-hand corner
290 o' the big oak linen-chest at the back: not as I should trust anybody
291 to look 'em out but myself."
292
293 As Mrs. Tulliver uttered the last sentence, she drew a bright bunch of
294 keys from her pocket, and singled out one, rubbing her thumb and
295 finger up and down it with a placid smile while she looked at the
296 clear fire. If Mr. Tulliver had been a susceptible man in his conjugal
297 relation, he might have supposed that she drew out the key to aid her
298 imagination in anticipating the moment when he would be in a state to
299 justify the production of the best Holland sheets. Happily he was not
300 so; he was only susceptible in respect of his right to water-power;
301 moreover, he had the marital habit of not listening very closely, and
302 since his mention of Mr. Riley, had been apparently occupied in a
303 tactile examination of his woollen stockings.
304
305 "I think I've hit it, Bessy," was his first remark after a short
306 silence. "Riley's as likely a man as any to know o' some school; he's
307 had schooling himself, an' goes about to all sorts o' places,
308 arbitratin' and vallyin' and that. And we shall have time to talk it
309 over to-morrow night when the business is done. I want Tom to be such
310 a sort o' man as Riley, you know,--as can talk pretty nigh as well as
311 if it was all wrote out for him, and knows a good lot o' words as
312 don't mean much, so as you can't lay hold of 'em i' law; and a good
313 solid knowledge o' business too."
314
315 "Well," said Mrs. Tulliver, "so far as talking proper, and knowing
316 everything, and walking with a bend in his back, and setting his hair
317 up, I shouldn't mind the lad being brought up to that. But them
318 fine-talking men from the big towns mostly wear the false
319 shirt-fronts; they wear a frill till it's all a mess, and then hide it
320 with a bib; I know Riley does. And then, if Tom's to go and live at
321 Mudport, like Riley, he'll have a house with a kitchen hardly big
322 enough to turn in, an' niver get a fresh egg for his breakfast, an'
323 sleep up three pair o' stairs,--or four, for what I know,--and be
324 burnt to death before he can get down."
325
326 "No, no," said Mr. Tulliver, "I've no thoughts of his going to
327 Mudport: I mean him to set up his office at St. Ogg's, close by us,
328 an' live at home. But," continued Mr. Tulliver after a pause, "what
329 I'm a bit afraid on is, as Tom hasn't got the right sort o' brains for
330 a smart fellow. I doubt he's a bit slowish. He takes after your
331 family, Bessy."
332
333 "Yes, that he does," said Mrs. Tulliver, accepting the last
334 proposition entirely on its own merits; "he's wonderful for liking a
335 deal o' salt in his broth. That was my brother's way, and my father's
336 before him."
337
338 "It seems a bit a pity, though," said Mr. Tulliver, "as the lad should
339 take after the mother's side instead o' the little wench. That's the
340 worst on't wi' crossing o' breeds: you can never justly calkilate
341 what'll come on't. The little un takes after my side, now: she's twice
342 as 'cute as Tom. Too 'cute for a woman, I'm afraid," continued Mr.
343 Tulliver, turning his head dubiously first on one side and then on the
344 other. "It's no mischief much while she's a little un; but an
345 over-'cute woman's no better nor a long-tailed sheep,--she'll fetch
346 none the bigger price for that."
347
348 "Yes, it _is_ a mischief while she's a little un, Mr. Tulliver, for it
349 runs to naughtiness. How to keep her in a clean pinafore two hours
350 together passes my cunning. An' now you put me i' mind," continued
351 Mrs. Tulliver, rising and going to the window, "I don't know where she
352 is now, an' it's pretty nigh tea-time. Ah, I thought so,--wanderin' up
353 an' down by the water, like a wild thing: She'll tumble in some day."
354
355 Mrs. Tulliver rapped the window sharply, beckoned, and shook her
356 head,--a process which she repeated more than once before she returned
357 to her chair.
358
359 "You talk o' 'cuteness, Mr. Tulliver," she observed as she sat down,
360 "but I'm sure the child's half an idiot i' some things; for if I send
361 her upstairs to fetch anything, she forgets what she's gone for, an'
362 perhaps 'ull sit down on the floor i' the sunshine an' plait her hair
363 an' sing to herself like a Bedlam creatur', all the while I'm waiting
364 for her downstairs. That niver run i' my family, thank God! no more
365 nor a brown skin as makes her look like a mulatter. I don't like to
366 fly i' the face o' Providence, but it seems hard as I should have but
367 one gell, an' her so comical."
368
369 "Pooh, nonsense!" said Mr. Tulliver; "she's a straight, black-eyed
370 wench as anybody need wish to see. I don't know i' what she's behind
371 other folks's children; and she can read almost as well as the
372 parson."
373
374 "But her hair won't curl all I can do with it, and she's so franzy
375 about having it put i' paper, and I've such work as never was to make
376 her stand and have it pinched with th' irons."
377
378 "Cut it off--cut it off short," said the father, rashly.
379
380 "How can you talk so, Mr. Tulliver? She's too big a gell--gone nine,
381 and tall of her age--to have her hair cut short; an' there's her
382 cousin Lucy's got a row o' curls round her head, an' not a hair out o'
383 place. It seems hard as my sister Deane should have that pretty child;
384 I'm sure Lucy takes more after me nor my own child does. Maggie,
385 Maggie," continued the mother, in a tone of half-coaxing fretfulness,
386 as this small mistake of nature entered the room, "where's the use o'
387 my telling you to keep away from the water? You'll tumble in and be
388 drownded some day, an' then you'll be sorry you didn't do as mother
389 told you."
390
391 Maggie's hair, as she threw off her bonnet, painfully confirmed her
392 mother's accusation. Mrs. Tulliver, desiring her daughter to have a
393 curled crop, "like other folks's children," had had it cut too short
394 in front to be pushed behind the ears; and as it was usually straight
395 an hour after it had been taken out of paper, Maggie was incessantly
396 tossing her head to keep the dark, heavy locks out of her gleaming
397 black eyes,--an action which gave her very much the air of a small
398 Shetland pony.
399
400 "Oh, dear, oh, dear, Maggie, what are you thinkin' of, to throw your
401 bonnet down there? Take it upstairs, there's a good gell, an' let your
402 hair be brushed, an' put your other pinafore on, an' change your
403 shoes, do, for shame; an' come an' go on with your patchwork, like a
404 little lady."
405
406 "Oh, mother," said Maggie, in a vehemently cross tone, "I don't _want_
407 to do my patchwork."
408
409 "What! not your pretty patchwork, to make a counterpane for your aunt
410 Glegg?"
411
412 "It's foolish work," said Maggie, with a toss of her mane,--"tearing
413 things to pieces to sew 'em together again. And I don't want to do
414 anything for my aunt Glegg. I don't like her."
415
416 Exit Maggie, dragging her bonnet by the string, while Mr. Tulliver
417 laughs audibly.
418
419 "I wonder at you, as you'll laugh at her, Mr. Tulliver," said the
420 mother, with feeble fretfulness in her tone. "You encourage her i'
421 naughtiness. An' her aunts will have it as it's me spoils her."
422
423 Mrs. Tulliver was what is called a good-tempered person,--never cried,
424 when she was a baby, on any slighter ground than hunger and pins; and
425 from the cradle upward had been healthy, fair, plump, and dull-witted;
426 in short, the flower of her family for beauty and amiability. But milk
427 and mildness are not the best things for keeping, and when they turn
428 only a little sour, they may disagree with young stomachs seriously. I
429 have often wondered whether those early Madonnas of Raphael, with the
430 blond faces and somewhat stupid expression, kept their placidity
431 undisturbed when their strong-limbed, strong-willed boys got a little
432 too old to do without clothing. I think they must have been given to
433 feeble remonstrance, getting more and more peevish as it became more
434 and more ineffectual.
435
436
437
438 Chapter III
439
440 Mr. Riley Gives His Advice Concerning a School for Tom
441
442
443 The gentleman in the ample white cravat and shirt-frill, taking his
444 brandy-and-water so pleasantly with his good friend Tulliver, is Mr.
445 Riley, a gentleman with a waxen complexion and fat hands, rather
446 highly educated for an auctioneer and appraiser, but large-hearted
447 enough to show a great deal of _bonhomie_ toward simple country
448 acquaintances of hospitable habits. Mr. Riley spoke of such
449 acquaintances kindly as "people of the old school."
450
451 The conversation had come to a pause. Mr. Tulliver, not without a
452 particular reason, had abstained from a seventh recital of the cool
453 retort by which Riley had shown himself too many for Dix, and how
454 Wakem had had his comb cut for once in his life, now the business of
455 the dam had been settled by arbitration, and how there never would
456 have been any dispute at all about the height of water if everybody
457 was what they should be, and Old Harry hadn't made the lawyers.
458
459 Mr. Tulliver was, on the whole, a man of safe traditional opinions;
460 but on one or two points he had trusted to his unassisted intellect,
461 and had arrived at several questionable conclusions; amongst the rest,
462 that rats, weevils, and lawyers were created by Old Harry. Unhappily
463 he had no one to tell him that this was rampant Manichæism, else he
464 might have seen his error. But to-day it was clear that the good
465 principle was triumphant: this affair of the water-power had been a
466 tangled business somehow, for all it seemed--look at it one way--as
467 plain as water's water; but, big a puzzle as it was, it hadn't got the
468 better of Riley. Mr. Tulliver took his brandy-and-water a little
469 stronger than usual, and, for a man who might be supposed to have a
470 few hundreds lying idle at his banker's, was rather incautiously open
471 in expressing his high estimate of his friend's business talents.
472
473 But the dam was a subject of conversation that would keep; it could
474 always be taken up again at the same point, and exactly in the same
475 condition; and there was another subject, as you know, on which Mr.
476 Tulliver was in pressing want of Mr. Riley's advice. This was his
477 particular reason for remaining silent for a short space after his
478 last draught, and rubbing his knees in a meditative manner. He was not
479 a man to make an abrupt transition. This was a puzzling world, as he
480 often said, and if you drive your wagon in a hurry, you may light on
481 an awkward corner. Mr. Riley, meanwhile, was not impatient. Why should
482 he be? Even Hotspur, one would think, must have been patient in his
483 slippers on a warm hearth, taking copious snuff, and sipping
484 gratuitous brandy-and-water.
485
486 "There's a thing I've got i' my head," said Mr. Tulliver at last, in
487 rather a lower tone than usual, as he turned his head and looked
488 steadfastly at his companion.
489
490 "Ah!" said Mr. Riley, in a tone of mild interest. He was a man with
491 heavy waxen eyelids and high-arched eyebrows, looking exactly the same
492 under all circumstances. This immovability of face, and the habit of
493 taking a pinch of snuff before he gave an answer, made him trebly
494 oracular to Mr. Tulliver.
495
496 "It's a very particular thing," he went on; "it's about my boy Tom."
497
498 At the sound of this name, Maggie, who was seated on a low stool close
499 by the fire, with a large book open on her lap, shook her heavy hair
500 back and looked up eagerly. There were few sounds that roused Maggie
501 when she was dreaming over her book, but Tom's name served as well as
502 the shrillest whistle; in an instant she was on the watch, with
503 gleaming eyes, like a Skye terrier suspecting mischief, or at all
504 events determined to fly at any one who threatened it toward Tom.
505
506 "You see, I want to put him to a new school at Midsummer," said Mr.
507 Tulliver; "he's comin' away from the 'cademy at Lady-day, an' I shall
508 let him run loose for a quarter; but after that I want to send him to
509 a downright good school, where they'll make a scholard of him."
510
511 "Well," said Mr. Riley, "there's no greater advantage you can give him
512 than a good education. Not," he added, with polite significance,--"not
513 that a man can't be an excellent miller and farmer, and a shrewd,
514 sensible fellow into the bargain, without much help from the
515 schoolmaster."
516
517 "I believe you," said Mr. Tulliver, winking, and turning his head on
518 one side; "but that's where it is. I don't _mean_ Tom to be a miller
519 and farmer. I see no fun i' that. Why, if I made him a miller an'
520 farmer, he'd be expectin' to take to the mill an' the land, an'
521 a-hinting at me as it was time for me to lay by an' think o' my latter
522 end. Nay, nay, I've seen enough o' that wi' sons. I'll never pull my
523 coat off before I go to bed. I shall give Tom an eddication an' put
524 him to a business, as he may make a nest for himself, an' not want to
525 push me out o' mine. Pretty well if he gets it when I'm dead an' gone.
526 I sha'n't be put off wi' spoon-meat afore I've lost my teeth."
527
528 This was evidently a point on which Mr. Tulliver felt strongly; and
529 the impetus which had given unusual rapidity and emphasis to his
530 speech showed itself still unexhausted for some minutes afterward in a
531 defiant motion of the head from side to side, and an occasional "Nay,
532 nay," like a subsiding growl.
533
534 These angry symptoms were keenly observed by Maggie, and cut her to
535 the quick. Tom, it appeared, was supposed capable of turning his
536 father out of doors, and of making the future in some way tragic by
537 his wickedness. This was not to be borne; and Maggie jumped up from
538 her stool, forgetting all about her heavy book, which fell with a bang
539 within the fender, and going up between her father's knees, said, in a
540 half-crying, half-indignant voice,--
541
542 "Father, Tom wouldn't be naughty to you ever; I know he wouldn't."
543
544 Mrs. Tulliver was out of the room superintending a choice supper-dish,
545 and Mr. Tulliver's heart was touched; so Maggie was not scolded about
546 the book. Mr. Riley quietly picked it up and looked at it, while the
547 father laughed, with a certain tenderness in his hard-lined face, and
548 patted his little girl on the back, and then held her hands and kept
549 her between his knees.
550
551 "What! they mustn't say any harm o' Tom, eh?" said Mr. Tulliver,
552 looking at Maggie with a twinkling eye. Then, in a lower voice,
553 turning to Mr. Riley, as though Maggie couldn't hear, "She understands
554 what one's talking about so as never was. And you should hear her
555 read,--straight off, as if she knowed it all beforehand. And allays at
556 her book! But it's bad--it's bad," Mr. Tulliver added sadly, checking
557 this blamable exultation. "A woman's no business wi' being so clever;
558 it'll turn to trouble, I doubt. But bless you!"--here the exultation
559 was clearly recovering the mastery,--"she'll read the books and
560 understand 'em better nor half the folks as are growed up."
561
562 Maggie's cheeks began to flush with triumphant excitement. She thought
563 Mr. Riley would have a respect for her now; it had been evident that
564 he thought nothing of her before.
565
566 Mr. Riley was turning over the leaves of the book, and she could make
567 nothing of his face, with its high-arched eyebrows; but he presently
568 looked at her, and said,--
569
570 "Come, come and tell me something about this book; here are some
571 pictures,--I want to know what they mean."
572
573 Maggie, with deepening color, went without hesitation to Mr. Riley's
574 elbow and looked over the book, eagerly seizing one corner, and
575 tossing back her mane, while she said,--
576
577 "Oh, I'll tell you what that means. It's a dreadful picture, isn't it?
578 But I can't help looking at it. That old woman in the water's a
579 witch,--they've put her in to find out whether she's a witch or no;
580 and if she swims she's a witch, and if she's drowned--and killed, you
581 know--she's innocent, and not a witch, but only a poor silly old
582 woman. But what good would it do her then, you know, when she was
583 drowned? Only, I suppose, she'd go to heaven, and God would make it up
584 to her. And this dreadful blacksmith with his arms akimbo,
585 laughing,--oh, isn't he ugly?--I'll tell you what he is. He's the
586 Devil _really_" (here Maggie's voice became louder and more emphatic),
587 "and not a right blacksmith; for the Devil takes the shape of wicked
588 men, and walks about and sets people doing wicked things, and he's
589 oftener in the shape of a bad man than any other, because, you know,
590 if people saw he was the Devil, and he roared at 'em, they'd run away,
591 and he couldn't make 'em do what he pleased."
592
593 Mr. Tulliver had listened to this exposition of Maggie's with
594 petrifying wonder.
595
596 "Why, what book is it the wench has got hold on?" he burst out at
597 last.
598
599 "The 'History of the Devil,' by Daniel Defoe,--not quite the right
600 book for a little girl," said Mr. Riley. "How came it among your
601 books, Mr. Tulliver?"
602
603 Maggie looked hurt and discouraged, while her father said,--
604
605 "Why, it's one o' the books I bought at Partridge's sale. They was all
606 bound alike,--it's a good binding, you see,--and I thought they'd be
607 all good books. There's Jeremy Taylor's 'Holy Living and Dying' among
608 'em. I read in it often of a Sunday" (Mr. Tulliver felt somehow a
609 familiarity with that great writer, because his name was Jeremy); "and
610 there's a lot more of 'em,--sermons mostly, I think,--but they've all
611 got the same covers, and I thought they were all o' one sample, as you
612 may say. But it seems one mustn't judge by th' outside. This is a
613 puzzlin' world."
614
615 "Well," said Mr. Riley, in an admonitory, patronizing tone as he
616 patted Maggie on the head, "I advise you to put by the 'History of the
617 Devil,' and read some prettier book. Have you no prettier books?"
618
619 "Oh, yes," said Maggie, reviving a little in the desire to vindicate
620 the variety of her reading. "I know the reading in this book isn't
621 pretty; but I like the pictures, and I make stories to the pictures
622 out of my own head, you know. But I've got 'Æsop's Fables,' and a book
623 about Kangaroos and things, and the 'Pilgrim's Progress.'"
624
625 "Ah, a beautiful book," said Mr. Riley; "you can't read a better."
626
627 "Well, but there's a great deal about the Devil in that," said Maggie,
628 triumphantly, "and I'll show you the picture of him in his true shape,
629 as he fought with Christian."
630
631 Maggie ran in an instant to the corner of the room, jumped on a chair,
632 and reached down from the small bookcase a shabby old copy of Bunyan,
633 which opened at once, without the least trouble of search, at the
634 picture she wanted.
635
636 "Here he is," she said, running back to Mr. Riley, "and Tom colored
637 him for me with his paints when he was at home last holidays,--the
638 body all black, you know, and the eyes red, like fire, because he's
639 all fire inside, and it shines out at his eyes."
640
641 "Go, go!" said Mr. Tulliver, peremptorily, beginning to feel rather
642 uncomfortable at these free remarks on the personal appearance of a
643 being powerful enough to create lawyers; "shut up the book, and let's
644 hear no more o' such talk. It is as I thought--the child 'ull learn
645 more mischief nor good wi' the books. Go, go and see after your
646 mother."
647
648 Maggie shut up the book at once, with a sense of disgrace, but not
649 being inclined to see after her mother, she compromised the matter by
650 going into a dark corner behind her father's chair, and nursing her
651 doll, toward which she had an occasional fit of fondness in Tom's
652 absence, neglecting its toilet, but lavishing so many warm kisses on
653 it that the waxen cheeks had a wasted, unhealthy appearance.
654
655 "Did you ever hear the like on't?" said Mr. Tulliver, as Maggie
656 retired. "It's a pity but what she'd been the lad,--she'd ha' been a
657 match for the lawyers, _she_ would. It's the wonderful'st thing"--here
658 he lowered his voice--"as I picked the mother because she wasn't o'er
659 'cute--bein' a good-looking woman too, an' come of a rare family for
660 managing; but I picked her from her sisters o' purpose, 'cause she was
661 a bit weak like; for I wasn't agoin' to be told the rights o' things
662 by my own fireside. But you see when a man's got brains himself,
663 there's no knowing where they'll run to; an' a pleasant sort o' soft
664 woman may go on breeding you stupid lads and 'cute wenches, till it's
665 like as if the world was turned topsy-turvy. It's an uncommon puzzlin'
666 thing."
667
668 Mr. Riley's gravity gave way, and he shook a little under the
669 application of his pinch of snuff before he said,--
670
671 "But your lad's not stupid, is he? I saw him, when I was here last,
672 busy making fishing-tackle; he seemed quite up to it."
673
674 "Well, he isn't not to say stupid,--he's got a notion o' things out o'
675 door, an' a sort o' common sense, as he'd lay hold o' things by the
676 right handle. But he's slow with his tongue, you see, and he reads but
677 poorly, and can't abide the books, and spells all wrong, they tell me,
678 an' as shy as can be wi' strangers, an' you never hear him say 'cute
679 things like the little wench. Now, what I want is to send him to a
680 school where they'll make him a bit nimble with his tongue and his
681 pen, and make a smart chap of him. I want my son to be even wi' these
682 fellows as have got the start o' me with having better schooling. Not
683 but what, if the world had been left as God made it, I could ha' seen
684 my way, and held my own wi' the best of 'em; but things have got so
685 twisted round and wrapped up i' unreasonable words, as aren't a bit
686 like 'em, as I'm clean at fault, often an' often. Everything winds
687 about so--the more straightforrad you are, the more you're puzzled."
688
689 Mr. Tulliver took a draught, swallowed it slowly, and shook his head
690 in a melancholy manner, conscious of exemplifying the truth that a
691 perfectly sane intellect is hardly at home in this insane world.
692
693 "You're quite in the right of it, Tulliver," observed Mr. Riley.
694 "Better spend an extra hundred or two on your son's education, than
695 leave it him in your will. I know I should have tried to do so by a
696 son of mine, if I'd had one, though, God knows, I haven't your ready
697 money to play with, Tulliver; and I have a houseful of daughters into
698 the bargain."
699
700 "I dare say, now, you know of a school as 'ud be just the thing for
701 Tom," said Mr. Tulliver, not diverted from his purpose by any sympathy
702 with Mr. Riley's deficiency of ready cash.
703
704 Mr. Riley took a pinch of snuff, and kept Mr. Tulliver in suspense by
705 a silence that seemed deliberative, before he said,--
706
707 "I know of a very fine chance for any one that's got the necessary
708 money and that's what you have, Tulliver. The fact is, I wouldn't
709 recommend any friend of mine to send a boy to a regular school, if he
710 could afford to do better. But if any one wanted his boy to get
711 superior instruction and training, where he would be the companion of
712 his master, and that master a first rate fellow, I know his man. I
713 wouldn't mention the chance to everybody, because I don't think
714 everybody would succeed in getting it, if he were to try; but I
715 mention it to you, Tulliver, between ourselves."
716
717 The fixed inquiring glance with which Mr. Tulliver had been watching
718 his friend's oracular face became quite eager.
719
720 "Ay, now, let's hear," he said, adjusting himself in his chair with
721 the complacency of a person who is thought worthy of important
722 communications.
723
724 "He's an Oxford man," said Mr. Riley, sententiously, shutting his
725 mouth close, and looking at Mr. Tulliver to observe the effect of this
726 stimulating information.
727
728 "What! a parson?" said Mr. Tulliver, rather doubtfully.
729
730 "Yes, and an M.A. The bishop, I understand, thinks very highly of him:
731 why, it was the bishop who got him his present curacy."
732
733 "Ah?" said Mr. Tulliver, to whom one thing was as wonderful as another
734 concerning these unfamiliar phenomena. "But what can he want wi' Tom,
735 then?"
736
737 "Why, the fact is, he's fond of teaching, and wishes to keep up his
738 studies, and a clergyman has but little opportunity for that in his
739 parochial duties. He's willing to take one or two boys as pupils to
740 fill up his time profitably. The boys would be quite of the
741 family,--the finest thing in the world for them; under Stelling's eye
742 continually."
743
744 "But do you think they'd give the poor lad twice o' pudding?" said
745 Mrs. Tulliver, who was now in her place again. "He's such a boy for
746 pudding as never was; an' a growing boy like that,--it's dreadful to
747 think o' their stintin' him."
748
749 "And what money 'ud he want?" said Mr. Tulliver, whose instinct told
750 him that the services of this admirable M.A. would bear a high price.
751
752 "Why, I know of a clergyman who asks a hundred and fifty with his
753 youngest pupils, and he's not to be mentioned with Stelling, the man I
754 speak of. I know, on good authority, that one of the chief people at
755 Oxford said, Stelling might get the highest honors if he chose. But he
756 didn't care about university honors; he's a quiet man--not noisy."
757
758 "Ah, a deal better--a deal better," said Mr. Tulliver; "but a hundred
759 and fifty's an uncommon price. I never thought o' paying so much as
760 that."
761
762 "A good education, let me tell you, Tulliver,--a good education is
763 cheap at the money. But Stelling is moderate in his terms; he's not a
764 grasping man. I've no doubt he'd take your boy at a hundred, and
765 that's what you wouldn't get many other clergymen to do. I'll write to
766 him about it, if you like."
767
768 Mr. Tulliver rubbed his knees, and looked at the carpet in a
769 meditative manner.
770
771 "But belike he's a bachelor," observed Mrs. Tulliver, in the interval;
772 "an' I've no opinion o' housekeepers. There was my brother, as is dead
773 an' gone, had a housekeeper once, an' she took half the feathers out
774 o' the best bed, an' packed 'em up an' sent 'em away. An' it's unknown
775 the linen she made away with--Stott her name was. It 'ud break my
776 heart to send Tom where there's a housekeeper, an' I hope you won't
777 think of it, Mr. Tulliver."
778
779 "You may set your mind at rest on that score, Mrs. Tulliver," said Mr.
780 Riley, "for Stelling is married to as nice a little woman as any man
781 need wish for a wife. There isn't a kinder little soul in the world; I
782 know her family well. She has very much your complexion,--light curly
783 hair. She comes of a good Mudport family, and it's not every offer
784 that would have been acceptable in that quarter. But Stelling's not an
785 every-day man; rather a particular fellow as to the people he chooses
786 to be connected with. But I _think_ he would have no objection to take
787 your son; I _think_ he would not, on my representation."
788
789 "I don't know what he could have _against_ the lad," said Mrs.
790 Tulliver, with a slight touch of motherly indignation; "a nice
791 fresh-skinned lad as anybody need wish to see."
792
793 "But there's one thing I'm thinking on," said Mr. Tulliver, turning
794 his head on one side and looking at Mr. Riley, after a long perusal of
795 the carpet. "Wouldn't a parson be almost too high-learnt to bring up a
796 lad to be a man o' business? My notion o' the parsons was as they'd
797 got a sort o' learning as lay mostly out o' sight. And that isn't what
798 I want for Tom. I want him to know figures, and write like print, and
799 see into things quick, and know what folks mean, and how to wrap
800 things up in words as aren't actionable. It's an uncommon fine thing,
801 that is," concluded Mr. Tulliver, shaking his head, "when you can let
802 a man know what you think of him without paying for it."
803
804 "Oh, my dear Tulliver," said Mr. Riley, "you're quite under a mistake
805 about the clergy; all the best schoolmasters are of the clergy. The
806 schoolmasters who are not clergymen are a very low set of men
807 generally."
808
809 "Ay, that Jacobs is, at the 'cademy," interposed Mr. Tulliver.
810
811 "To be sure,--men who have failed in other trades, most likely. Now, a
812 clergyman is a gentleman by profession and education; and besides
813 that, he has the knowledge that will ground a boy, and prepare him for
814 entering on any career with credit. There may be some clergymen who
815 are mere bookmen; but you may depend upon it, Stelling is not one of
816 them,--a man that's wide awake, let me tell you. Drop him a hint, and
817 that's enough. You talk of figures, now; you have only to say to
818 Stelling, 'I want my son to be a thorough arithmetician,' and you may
819 leave the rest to him."
820
821 Mr. Riley paused a moment, while Mr. Tulliver, some-what reassured as
822 to clerical tutorship, was inwardly rehearsing to an imaginary Mr.
823 Stelling the statement, "I want my son to know 'rethmetic."
824
825 "You see, my dear Tulliver," Mr. Riley continued, "when you get a
826 thoroughly educated man, like Stelling, he's at no loss to take up any
827 branch of instruction. When a workman knows the use of his tools, he
828 can make a door as well as a window."
829
830 "Ay, that's true," said Mr. Tulliver, almost convinced now that the
831 clergy must be the best of schoolmasters.
832
833 "Well, I'll tell you what I'll do for you," said Mr. Riley, "and I
834 wouldn't do it for everybody. I'll see Stelling's father-in-law, or
835 drop him a line when I get back to Mudport, to say that you wish to
836 place your boy with his son-in-law, and I dare say Stelling will write
837 to you, and send you his terms."
838
839 "But there's no hurry, is there?" said Mrs. Tulliver; "for I hope, Mr.
840 Tulliver, you won't let Tom begin at his new school before Midsummer.
841 He began at the 'cademy at the Lady-day quarter, and you see what
842 good's come of it."
843
844 "Ay, ay, Bessy, never brew wi' bad malt upo' Michael-masday, else
845 you'll have a poor tap," said Mr. Tulliver, winking and smiling at Mr.
846 Riley, with the natural pride of a man who has a buxom wife
847 conspicuously his inferior in intellect. "But it's true there's no
848 hurry; you've hit it there, Bessy."
849
850 "It might be as well not to defer the arrangement too long," said Mr.
851 Riley, quietly, "for Stelling may have propositions from other
852 parties, and I know he would not take more than two or three boarders,
853 if so many. If I were you, I think I would enter on the subject with
854 Stelling at once: there's no necessity for sending the boy before
855 Midsummer, but I would be on the safe side, and make sure that nobody
856 forestalls you."
857
858 "Ay, there's summat in that," said Mr. Tulliver.
859
860 "Father," broke in Maggie, who had stolen unperceived to her father's
861 elbow again, listening with parted lips, while she held her doll
862 topsy-turvy, and crushed its nose against the wood of the
863 chair,--"father, is it a long way off where Tom is to go? Sha'n't we
864 ever go to see him?"
865
866 "I don't know, my wench," said the father, tenderly. "Ask Mr. Riley;
867 he knows."
868
869 Maggie came round promptly in front of Mr. Riley, and said, "How far
870 is it, please, sir?"
871
872 "Oh, a long, long way off," that gentleman answered, being of opinion
873 that children, when they are not naughty, should always be spoken to
874 jocosely. "You must borrow the seven-leagued boots to get to him."
875
876 "That's nonsense!" said Maggie, tossing her head haughtily, and
877 turning away, with the tears springing in her eyes. She began to
878 dislike Mr. Riley; it was evident he thought her silly and of no
879 consequence.
880
881 "Hush, Maggie! for shame of you, asking questions and chattering,"
882 said her mother. "Come and sit down on your little stool, and hold
883 your tongue, do. But," added Mrs. Tulliver, who had her own alarm
884 awakened, "is it so far off as I couldn't wash him and mend him?"
885
886 "About fifteen miles; that's all," said Mr. Riley. "You can drive
887 there and back in a day quite comfortably. Or--Stelling is a
888 hospitable, pleasant man--he'd be glad to have you stay."
889
890 "But it's too far off for the linen, I doubt," said Mrs. Tulliver,
891 sadly.
892
893 The entrance of supper opportunely adjourned this difficulty, and
894 relieved Mr. Riley from the labor of suggesting some solution or
895 compromise,--a labor which he would otherwise doubtless have
896 undertaken; for, as you perceive, he was a man of very obliging
897 manners. And he had really given himself the trouble of recommending
898 Mr. Stelling to his friend Tulliver without any positive expectation
899 of a solid, definite advantage resulting to himself, notwithstanding
900 the subtle indications to the contrary which might have misled a
901 too-sagacious observer. For there is nothing more widely misleading
902 than sagacity if it happens to get on a wrong scent; and sagacity,
903 persuaded that men usually act and speak from distinct motives, with a
904 consciously proposed end in view, is certain to waste its energies on
905 imaginary game.
906
907 Plotting covetousness and deliberate contrivance, in order to compass
908 a selfish end, are nowhere abundant but in the world of the dramatist:
909 they demand too intense a mental action for many of our
910 fellow-parishioners to be guilty of them. It is easy enough to spoil
911 the lives of our neighbors without taking so much trouble; we can do
912 it by lazy acquiescence and lazy omission, by trivial falsities for
913 which we hardly know a reason, by small frauds neutralized by small
914 extravagances, by maladroit flatteries, and clumsily improvised
915 insinuations. We live from hand to mouth, most of us, with a small
916 family of immediate desires; we do little else than snatch a morsel to
917 satisfy the hungry brood, rarely thinking of seed-corn or the next
918 year's crop.
919
920 Mr. Riley was a man of business, and not cold toward his own interest,
921 yet even he was more under the influence of small promptings than of
922 far-sighted designs. He had no private understanding with the Rev.
923 Walter Stelling; on the contrary, he knew very little of that M.A. and
924 his acquirements,--not quite enough, perhaps, to warrant so strong a
925 recommendation of him as he had given to his friend Tulliver. But he
926 believed Mr. Stelling to be an excellent classic, for Gadsby had said
927 so, and Gadsby's first cousin was an Oxford tutor; which was better
928 ground for the belief even than his own immediate observation would
929 have been, for though Mr. Riley had received a tincture of the
930 classics at the great Mudport Free School, and had a sense of
931 understanding Latin generally, his comprehension of any particular
932 Latin was not ready. Doubtless there remained a subtle aroma from his
933 juvenile contact with the "De Senectute" and the fourth book of the
934 "Æneid," but it had ceased to be distinctly recognizable as classical,
935 and was only perceived in the higher finish and force of his
936 auctioneering style. Then, Stelling was an Oxford man, and the Oxford
937 men were always--no, no, it was the Cambridge men who were always good
938 mathematicians. But a man who had had a university education could
939 teach anything he liked; especially a man like Stelling, who had made
940 a speech at a Mudport dinner on a political occasion, and had
941 acquitted himself so well that it was generally remarked, this
942 son-in-law of Timpson's was a sharp fellow. It was to be expected of a
943 Mudport man, from the parish of St. Ursula, that he would not omit to
944 do a good turn to a son-in-law of Timpson's, for Timpson was one of
945 the most useful and influential men in the parish, and had a good deal
946 of business, which he knew how to put into the right hands. Mr. Riley
947 liked such men, quite apart from any money which might be diverted,
948 through their good judgment, from less worthy pockets into his own;
949 and it would be a satisfaction to him to say to Timpson on his return
950 home, "I've secured a good pupil for your son-in-law." Timpson had a
951 large family of daughters; Mr. Riley felt for him; besides, Louisa
952 Timpson's face, with its light curls, had been a familiar object to
953 him over the pew wainscot on a Sunday for nearly fifteen years; it was
954 natural her husband should be a commendable tutor. Moreover, Mr. Riley
955 knew of no other schoolmaster whom he had any ground for recommending
956 in preference; why, then, should he not recommend Stelling? His friend
957 Tulliver had asked him for an opinion; it is always chilling, in
958 friendly intercourse, to say you have no opinion to give. And if you
959 deliver an opinion at all, it is mere stupidity not to do it with an
960 air of conviction and well-founded knowledge. You make it your own in
961 uttering it, and naturally get fond of it. Thus Mr. Riley, knowing no
962 harm of Stelling to begin with, and wishing him well, so far as he had
963 any wishes at all concerning him, had no sooner recommended him than
964 he began to think with admiration of a man recommended on such high
965 authority, and would soon have gathered so warm an interest on the
966 subject, that if Mr. Tulliver had in the end declined to send Tom to
967 Stelling, Mr. Riley would have thought his "friend of the old school"
968 a thoroughly pig-headed fellow.
969
970 If you blame Mr. Riley very severely for giving a recommendation on
971 such slight grounds, I must say you are rather hard upon him. Why
972 should an auctioneer and appraiser thirty years ago, who had as good
973 as forgotten his free-school Latin, be expected to manifest a delicate
974 scrupulosity which is not always exhibited by gentlemen of the learned
975 professions, even in our present advanced stage of morality?
976
977 Besides, a man with the milk of human kindness in him can scarcely
978 abstain from doing a good-natured action, and one cannot be
979 good-natured all round. Nature herself occasionally quarters an
980 inconvenient parasite on an animal toward whom she has otherwise no
981 ill will. What then? We admire her care for the parasite. If Mr. Riley
982 had shrunk from giving a recommendation that was not based on valid
983 evidence, he would not have helped Mr. Stelling to a paying pupil, and
984 that would not have been so well for the reverend gentleman. Consider,
985 too, that all the pleasant little dim ideas and complacencies--of
986 standing well with Timpson, of dispensing advice when he was asked for
987 it, of impressing his friend Tulliver with additional respect, of
988 saying something, and saying it emphatically, with other inappreciably
989 minute ingredients that went along with the warm hearth and the
990 brandy-and-water to make up Mr. Riley's consciousness on this
991 occasion--would have been a mere blank.
992
993
994
995 Chapter IV
996
997 Tom Is Expected
998
999
1000 It was a heavy disappointment to Maggie that she was not allowed to go
1001 with her father in the gig when he went to fetch Tom home from the
1002 academy; but the morning was too wet, Mrs. Tulliver said, for a little
1003 girl to go out in her best bonnet. Maggie took the opposite view very
1004 strongly, and it was a direct consequence of this difference of
1005 opinion that when her mother was in the act of brushing out the
1006 reluctant black crop Maggie suddenly rushed from under her hands and
1007 dipped her head in a basin of water standing near, in the vindictive
1008 determination that there should be no more chance of curls that day.
1009
1010 "Maggie, Maggie!" exclaimed Mrs. Tulliver, sitting stout and helpless
1011 with the brushes on her lap, "what is to become of you if you're so
1012 naughty? I'll tell your aunt Glegg and your aunt Pullet when they come
1013 next week, and they'll never love you any more. Oh dear, oh dear! look
1014 at your clean pinafore, wet from top to bottom. Folks 'ull think it's
1015 a judgment on me as I've got such a child,--they'll think I've done
1016 summat wicked."
1017
1018 Before this remonstrance was finished, Maggie was already out of
1019 hearing, making her way toward the great attic that run under the old
1020 high-pitched roof, shaking the water from her black locks as she ran,
1021 like a Skye terrier escaped from his bath. This attic was Maggie's
1022 favorite retreat on a wet day, when the weather was not too cold; here
1023 she fretted out all her ill humors, and talked aloud to the worm-eaten
1024 floors and the worm-eaten shelves, and the dark rafters festooned with
1025 cobwebs; and here she kept a Fetish which she punished for all her
1026 misfortunes. This was the trunk of a large wooden doll, which once
1027 stared with the roundest of eyes above the reddest of cheeks; but was
1028 now entirely defaced by a long career of vicarious suffering. Three
1029 nails driven into the head commemorated as many crises in Maggie's
1030 nine years of earthly struggle; that luxury of vengeance having been
1031 suggested to her by the picture of Jael destroying Sisera in the old
1032 Bible. The last nail had been driven in with a fiercer stroke than
1033 usual, for the Fetish on that occasion represented aunt Glegg. But
1034 immediately afterward Maggie had reflected that if she drove many
1035 nails in she would not be so well able to fancy that the head was hurt
1036 when she knocked it against the wall, nor to comfort it, and make
1037 believe to poultice it, when her fury was abated; for even aunt Glegg
1038 would be pitiable when she had been hurt very much, and thoroughly
1039 humiliated, so as to beg her niece's pardon. Since then she had driven
1040 no more nails in, but had soothed herself by alternately grinding and
1041 beating the wooden head against the rough brick of the great chimneys
1042 that made two square pillars supporting the roof. That was what she
1043 did this morning on reaching the attic, sobbing all the while with a
1044 passion that expelled every other form of consciousness,--even the
1045 memory of the grievance that had caused it. As at last the sobs were
1046 getting quieter, and the grinding less fierce, a sudden beam of
1047 sunshine, falling through the wire lattice across the worm-eaten
1048 shelves, made her throw away the Fetish and run to the window. The sun
1049 was really breaking out; the sound of the mill seemed cheerful again;
1050 the granary doors were open; and there was Yap, the queer
1051 white-and-brown terrier, with one ear turned back, trotting about and
1052 sniffing vaguely, as if he were in search of a companion. It was
1053 irresistible. Maggie tossed her hair back and ran downstairs, seized
1054 her bonnet without putting it on, peeped, and then dashed along the
1055 passage lest she should encounter her mother, and was quickly out in
1056 the yard, whirling round like a Pythoness, and singing as she whirled,
1057 "Yap, Yap, Tom's coming home!" while Yap danced and barked round her,
1058 as much as to say, if there was any noise wanted he was the dog for
1059 it.
1060
1061 "Hegh, hegh, Miss! you'll make yourself giddy, an' tumble down i' the
1062 dirt," said Luke, the head miller, a tall, broad-shouldered man of
1063 forty, black-eyed and black-haired, subdued by a general mealiness,
1064 like an auricula.
1065
1066 Maggie paused in her whirling and said, staggering a little, "Oh no,
1067 it doesn't make me giddy, Luke; may I go into the mill with you?"
1068
1069 Maggie loved to linger in the great spaces of the mill, and often came
1070 out with her black hair powdered to a soft whiteness that made her
1071 dark eyes flash out with new fire. The resolute din, the unresting
1072 motion of the great stones, giving her a dim, delicious awe as at the
1073 presence of an uncontrollable force; the meal forever pouring,
1074 pouring; the fine white powder softening all surfaces, and making the
1075 very spidernets look like a faery lace-work; the sweet, pure scent of
1076 the meal,--all helped to make Maggie feel that the mill was a little
1077 world apart from her outside every-day life. The spiders were
1078 especially a subject of speculation with her. She wondered if they had
1079 any relatives outside the mill, for in that case there must be a
1080 painful difficulty in their family intercourse,--a fat and floury
1081 spider, accustomed to take his fly well dusted with meal, must suffer
1082 a little at a cousin's table where the fly was _au naturel_, and the
1083 lady spiders must be mutually shocked at each other's appearance. But
1084 the part of the mill she liked best was the topmost story,--the
1085 corn-hutch, where there were the great heaps of grain, which she could
1086 sit on and slide down continually. She was in the habit of taking this
1087 recreation as she conversed with Luke, to whom she was very
1088 communicative, wishing him to think well of her understanding, as her
1089 father did.
1090
1091 Perhaps she felt it necessary to recover her position with him on the
1092 present occasion for, as she sat sliding on the heap of grain near
1093 which he was busying himself, she said, at that shrill pitch which was
1094 requisite in mill-society,--
1095
1096 "I think you never read any book but the Bible, did you, Luke?"
1097
1098 "Nay, Miss, an' not much o' that," said Luke, with great frankness.
1099 "I'm no reader, I aren't."
1100
1101 "But if I lent you one of my books, Luke? I've not got any _very_
1102 pretty books that would be easy for you to read; but there's 'Pug's
1103 Tour of Europe,'--that would tell you all about the different sorts of
1104 people in the world, and if you didn't understand the reading, the
1105 pictures would help you; they show the looks and ways of the people,
1106 and what they do. There are the Dutchmen, very fat, and smoking, you
1107 know, and one sitting on a barrel."
1108
1109 "Nay, Miss, I'n no opinion o' Dutchmen. There ben't much good i'
1110 knowin' about _them_."
1111
1112 "But they're our fellow-creatures, Luke; we ought to know about our
1113 fellow-creatures."
1114
1115 "Not much o' fellow-creaturs, I think, Miss; all I know--my old
1116 master, as war a knowin' man, used to say, says he, 'If e'er I sow my
1117 wheat wi'out brinin', I'm a Dutchman,' says he; an' that war as much
1118 as to say as a Dutchman war a fool, or next door. Nay, nay, I aren't
1119 goin' to bother mysen about Dutchmen. There's fools enoo, an' rogues
1120 enoo, wi'out lookin' i' books for 'em."
1121
1122 "Oh, well," said Maggie, rather foiled by Luke's unexpectedly decided
1123 views about Dutchmen, "perhaps you would like 'Animated Nature'
1124 better; that's not Dutchmen, you know, but elephants and kangaroos,
1125 and the civet-cat, and the sunfish, and a bird sitting on its tail,--I
1126 forget its name. There are countries full of those creatures, instead
1127 of horses and cows, you know. Shouldn't you like to know about them,
1128 Luke?"
1129
1130 "Nay, Miss, I'n got to keep count o' the flour an' corn; I can't do
1131 wi' knowin' so many things besides my work. That's what brings folks
1132 to the gallows,--knowin' everything but what they'n got to get their
1133 bread by. An' they're mostly lies, I think, what's printed i' the
1134 books: them printed sheets are, anyhow, as the men cry i' the
1135 streets."
1136
1137 "Why, you're like my brother Tom, Luke," said Maggie, wishing to turn
1138 the conversation agreeably; "Tom's not fond of reading. I love Tom so
1139 dearly, Luke,--better than anybody else in the world. When he grows up
1140 I shall keep his house, and we shall always live together. I can tell
1141 him everything he doesn't know. But I think Tom's clever, for all he
1142 doesn't like books; he makes beautiful whipcord and rabbit-pens."
1143
1144 "Ah," said Luke, "but he'll be fine an' vexed, as the rabbits are all
1145 dead."
1146
1147 "Dead!" screamed Maggie, jumping up from her sliding seat on the corn.
1148 "Oh dear, Luke! What! the lop-eared one, and the spotted doe that Tom
1149 spent all his money to buy?"
1150
1151 "As dead as moles," said Luke, fetching his comparison from the
1152 unmistakable corpses nailed to the stable wall.
1153
1154 "Oh dear, Luke," said Maggie, in a piteous tone, while the big tears
1155 rolled down her cheek; "Tom told me to take care of 'em, and I forgot.
1156 What _shall_ I do?"
1157
1158 "Well, you see, Miss, they were in that far tool-house, an' it was
1159 nobody's business to see to 'em. I reckon Master Tom told Harry to
1160 feed 'em, but there's no countin' on Harry; _he's_ an offal creatur as
1161 iver come about the primises, he is. He remembers nothing but his own
1162 inside--an' I wish it 'ud gripe him."
1163
1164 "Oh, Luke, Tom told me to be sure and remember the rabbits every day;
1165 but how could I, when they didn't come into my head, you know? Oh, he
1166 will be so angry with me, I know he will, and so sorry about his
1167 rabbits, and so am I sorry. Oh, what _shall_ I do?"
1168
1169 "Don't you fret, Miss," said Luke, soothingly; "they're nash things,
1170 them lop-eared rabbits; they'd happen ha' died, if they'd been fed.
1171 Things out o' natur niver thrive: God A'mighty doesn't like 'em. He
1172 made the rabbits' ears to lie back, an' it's nothin' but contrairiness
1173 to make 'em hing down like a mastiff dog's. Master Tom 'ull know
1174 better nor buy such things another time. Don't you fret, Miss. Will
1175 you come along home wi' me, and see my wife? I'm a-goin' this minute."
1176
1177 The invitation offered an agreeable distraction to Maggie's grief, and
1178 her tears gradually subsided as she trotted along by Luke's side to
1179 his pleasant cottage, which stood with its apple and pear trees, and
1180 with the added dignity of a lean-to pigsty, at the other end of the
1181 Mill fields. Mrs. Moggs, Luke's wife, was a decidedly agreeable
1182 acquaintance. She exhibited her hospitality in bread and treacle, and
1183 possessed various works of art. Maggie actually forgot that she had
1184 any special cause of sadness this morning, as she stood on a chair to
1185 look at a remarkable series of pictures representing the Prodigal Son
1186 in the costume of Sir Charles Grandison, except that, as might have
1187 been expected from his defective moral character, he had not, like
1188 that accomplished hero, the taste and strength of mind to dispense
1189 with a wig. But the indefinable weight the dead rabbits had left on
1190 her mind caused her to feel more than usual pity for the career of
1191 this weak young man, particularly when she looked at the picture where
1192 he leaned against a tree with a flaccid appearance, his knee-breeches
1193 unbuttoned and his wig awry, while the swine apparently of some
1194 foreign breed, seemed to insult him by their good spirits over their
1195 feast of husks.
1196
1197 "I'm very glad his father took him back again, aren't you, Luke?" she
1198 said. "For he was very sorry, you know, and wouldn't do wrong again."
1199
1200 "Eh, Miss," said Luke, "he'd be no great shakes, I doubt, let's
1201 feyther do what he would for him."
1202
1203 That was a painful thought to Maggie, and she wished much that the
1204 subsequent history of the young man had not been left a blank.
1205
1206
1207
1208 Chapter V
1209
1210 Tom Comes Home
1211
1212
1213 Tom was to arrive early in the afternoon, and there was another
1214 fluttering heart besides Maggie's when it was late enough for the
1215 sound of the gig-wheels to be expected; for if Mrs. Tulliver had a
1216 strong feeling, it was fondness for her boy. At last the sound
1217 came,--that quick light bowling of the gig-wheels,--and in spite of
1218 the wind, which was blowing the clouds about, and was not likely to
1219 respect Mrs. Tulliver's curls and cap-strings, she came outside the
1220 door, and even held her hand on Maggie's offending head, forgetting
1221 all the griefs of the morning.
1222
1223 "There he is, my sweet lad! But, Lord ha' mercy! he's got never a
1224 collar on; it's been lost on the road, I'll be bound, and spoilt the
1225 set."
1226
1227 Mrs. Tulliver stood with her arms open; Maggie jumped first on one leg
1228 and then on the other; while Tom descended from the gig, and said,
1229 with masculine reticence as to the tender emotions, "Hallo! Yap--what!
1230 are you there?"
1231
1232 Nevertheless he submitted to be kissed willingly enough, though Maggie
1233 hung on his neck in rather a strangling fashion, while his blue-gray
1234 eyes wandered toward the croft and the lambs and the river, where he
1235 promised himself that he would begin to fish the first thing to-morrow
1236 morning. He was one of those lads that grow everywhere in England, and
1237 at twelve or thirteen years of age look as much alike as goslings,--a
1238 lad with light-brown hair, cheeks of cream and roses, full lips,
1239 indeterminate nose and eyebrows,--a physiognomy in which it seems
1240 impossible to discern anything but the generic character to boyhood;
1241 as different as possible from poor Maggie's phiz, which Nature seemed
1242 to have moulded and colored with the most decided intention. But that
1243 same Nature has the deep cunning which hides itself under the
1244 appearance of openness, so that simple people think they can see
1245 through her quite well, and all the while she is secretly preparing a
1246 refutation of their confident prophecies. Under these average boyish
1247 physiognomies that she seems to turn off by the gross, she conceals
1248 some of her most rigid, inflexible purposes, some of her most
1249 unmodifiable characters; and the dark-eyed, demonstrative, rebellious
1250 girl may after all turn out to be a passive being compared with this
1251 pink-and-white bit of masculinity with the indeterminate features.
1252
1253 "Maggie," said Tom, confidentially, taking her into a corner, as soon
1254 as his mother was gone out to examine his box and the warm parlor had
1255 taken off the chill he had felt from the long drive, "you don't know
1256 what I've got in _my_ pockets," nodding his head up and down as a
1257 means of rousing her sense of mystery.
1258
1259 "No," said Maggie. "How stodgy they look, Tom! Is it marls (marbles)
1260 or cobnuts?" Maggie's heart sank a little, because Tom always said it
1261 was "no good" playing with _her_ at those games, she played so badly.
1262
1263 "Marls! no; I've swopped all my marls with the little fellows, and
1264 cobnuts are no fun, you silly, only when the nuts are green. But see
1265 here!" He drew something half out of his right-hand pocket.
1266
1267 "What is it?" said Maggie, in a whisper. "I can see nothing but a bit
1268 of yellow."
1269
1270 "Why, it's--a--new--guess, Maggie!"
1271
1272 "Oh, I _can't_ guess, Tom," said Maggie, impatiently.
1273
1274 "Don't be a spitfire, else I won't tell you," said Tom, thrusting his
1275 hand back into his pocket and looking determined.
1276
1277 "No, Tom," said Maggie, imploringly, laying hold of the arm that was
1278 held stiffly in the pocket. "I'm not cross, Tom; it was only because I
1279 can't bear guessing. _Please_ be good to me."
1280
1281 Tom's arm slowly relaxed, and he said, "Well, then, it's a new
1282 fish-line--two new uns,--one for you, Maggie, all to yourself. I
1283 wouldn't go halves in the toffee and gingerbread on purpose to save
1284 the money; and Gibson and Spouncer fought with me because I wouldn't.
1285 And here's hooks; see here--I say, _won't_ we go and fish to-morrow
1286 down by the Round Pool? And you shall catch your own fish, Maggie and
1287 put the worms on, and everything; won't it be fun?"
1288
1289 Maggie's answer was to throw her arms round Tom's neck and hug him,
1290 and hold her cheek against his without speaking, while he slowly
1291 unwound some of the line, saying, after a pause,--
1292
1293 "Wasn't I a good brother, now, to buy you a line all to yourself? You
1294 know, I needn't have bought it, if I hadn't liked."
1295
1296 "Yes, very, very good--I _do_ love you, Tom."
1297
1298 Tom had put the line back in his pocket, and was looking at the hooks
1299 one by one, before he spoke again.
1300
1301 "And the fellows fought me, because I wouldn't give in about the
1302 toffee."
1303
1304 "Oh, dear! I wish they wouldn't fight at your school, Tom. Didn't it
1305 hurt you?"
1306
1307 "Hurt me? no," said Tom, putting up the hooks again, taking out a
1308 large pocket-knife, and slowly opening the largest blade, which he
1309 looked at meditatively as he rubbed his finger along it. Then he
1310 added,--
1311
1312 "I gave Spouncer a black eye, I know; that's what he got by wanting to
1313 leather _me;_ I wasn't going to go halves because anybody leathered
1314 me."
1315
1316 "Oh, how brave you are, Tom! I think you're like Samson. If there came
1317 a lion roaring at me, I think you'd fight him, wouldn't you, Tom?"
1318
1319 "How can a lion come roaring at you, you silly thing? There's no
1320 lions, only in the shows."
1321
1322 "No; but if we were in the lion countries--I mean in Africa, where
1323 it's very hot; the lions eat people there. I can show it you in the
1324 book where I read it."
1325
1326 "Well, I should get a gun and shoot him."
1327
1328 "But if you hadn't got a gun,--we might have gone out, you know, not
1329 thinking, just as we go fishing; and then a great lion might run
1330 toward us roaring, and we couldn't get away from him. What should you
1331 do, Tom?"
1332
1333 Tom paused, and at last turned away contemptuously, saying, "But the
1334 lion _isn't_ coming. What's the use of talking?"
1335
1336 "But I like to fancy how it would be," said Maggie, following him.
1337 "Just think what you would do, Tom."
1338
1339 "Oh, don't bother, Maggie! you're such a silly. I shall go and see my
1340 rabbits."
1341
1342 Maggie's heart began to flutter with fear. She dared not tell the sad
1343 truth at once, but she walked after Tom in trembling silence as he
1344 went out, thinking how she could tell him the news so as to soften at
1345 once his sorrow and his anger; for Maggie dreaded Tom's anger of all
1346 things; it was quite a different anger from her own.
1347
1348 "Tom," she said, timidly, when they were out of doors, "how much money
1349 did you give for your rabbits?"
1350
1351 "Two half-crowns and a sixpence," said Tom, promptly.
1352
1353 "I think I've got a great deal more than that in my steel purse
1354 upstairs. I'll ask mother to give it you."
1355
1356 "What for?" said Tom. "I don't want _your_ money, you silly thing.
1357 I've got a great deal more money than you, because I'm a boy. I always
1358 have half-sovereigns and sovereigns for my Christmas boxes because I
1359 shall be a man, and you only have five-shilling pieces, because you're
1360 only a girl."
1361
1362 "Well, but, Tom--if mother would let me give you two half-crowns and a
1363 sixpence out of my purse to put into your pocket and spend, you know,
1364 and buy some more rabbits with it?"
1365
1366 "More rabbits? I don't want any more."
1367
1368 "Oh, but, Tom, they're all dead."
1369
1370 Tom stopped immediately in his walk and turned round toward Maggie.
1371 "You forgot to feed 'em, then, and Harry forgot?" he said, his color
1372 heightening for a moment, but soon subsiding. "I'll pitch into Harry.
1373 I'll have him turned away. And I don't love you, Maggie. You sha'n't
1374 go fishing with me to-morrow. I told you to go and see the rabbits
1375 every day." He walked on again.
1376
1377 "Yes, but I forgot--and I couldn't help it, indeed, Tom. I'm so very
1378 sorry," said Maggie, while the tears rushed fast.
1379
1380 "You're a naughty girl," said Tom, severely, "and I'm sorry I bought
1381 you the fish-line. I don't love you."
1382
1383 "Oh, Tom, it's very cruel," sobbed Maggie. "I'd forgive you, if _you_
1384 forgot anything--I wouldn't mind what you did--I'd forgive you and
1385 love you."
1386
1387 "Yes, you're silly; but I never _do_ forget things, _I_ don't."
1388
1389 "Oh, please forgive me, Tom; my heart will break," said Maggie,
1390 shaking with sobs, clinging to Tom's arm, and laying her wet cheek on
1391 his shoulder.
1392
1393 Tom shook her off, and stopped again, saying in a peremptory tone,
1394 "Now, Maggie, you just listen. Aren't I a good brother to you?"
1395
1396 "Ye-ye-es," sobbed Maggie, her chin rising and falling convulsedly.
1397
1398 "Didn't I think about your fish-line all this quarter, and mean to buy
1399 it, and saved my money o' purpose, and wouldn't go halves in the
1400 toffee, and Spouncer fought me because I wouldn't?"
1401
1402 "Ye-ye-es--and I--lo-lo-love you so, Tom."
1403
1404 "But you're a naughty girl. Last holidays you licked the paint off my
1405 lozenge-box, and the holidays before that you let the boat drag my
1406 fish-line down when I'd set you to watch it, and you pushed your head
1407 through my kite, all for nothing."
1408
1409 "But I didn't mean," said Maggie; "I couldn't help it."
1410
1411 "Yes, you could," said Tom, "if you'd minded what you were doing. And
1412 you're a naughty girl, and you sha'n't go fishing with me to-morrow."
1413
1414 With this terrible conclusion, Tom ran away from Maggie toward the
1415 mill, meaning to greet Luke there, and complain to him of Harry.
1416
1417 Maggie stood motionless, except from her sobs, for a minute or two;
1418 then she turned round and ran into the house, and up to her attic,
1419 where she sat on the floor and laid her head against the worm-eaten
1420 shelf, with a crushing sense of misery. Tom was come home, and she had
1421 thought how happy she should be; and now he was cruel to her. What use
1422 was anything if Tom didn't love her? Oh, he was very cruel! Hadn't she
1423 wanted to give him the money, and said how very sorry she was? She
1424 knew she was naughty to her mother, but she had never been naughty to
1425 Tom--had never _meant_ to be naughty to him.
1426
1427 "Oh, he is cruel!" Maggie sobbed aloud, finding a wretched pleasure in
1428 the hollow resonance that came through the long empty space of the
1429 attic. She never thought of beating or grinding her Fetish; she was
1430 too miserable to be angry.
1431
1432 These bitter sorrows of childhood! when sorrow is all new and strange,
1433 when hope has not yet got wings to fly beyond the days and weeks, and
1434 the space from summer to summer seems measureless.
1435
1436 Maggie soon thought she had been hours in the attic, and it must be
1437 tea-time, and they were all having their tea, and not thinking of her.
1438 Well, then, she would stay up there and starve herself,--hide herself
1439 behind the tub, and stay there all night,--and then they would all be
1440 frightened, and Tom would be sorry. Thus Maggie thought in the pride
1441 of her heart, as she crept behind the tub; but presently she began to
1442 cry again at the idea that they didn't mind her being there. If she
1443 went down again to Tom now--would he forgive her? Perhaps her father
1444 would be there, and he would take her part. But then she wanted Tom to
1445 forgive her because he loved her, not because his father told him. No,
1446 she would never go down if Tom didn't come to fetch her. This
1447 resolution lasted in great intensity for five dark minutes behind the
1448 tub; but then the need of being loved--the strongest need in poor
1449 Maggie's nature--began to wrestle with her pride, and soon threw it.
1450 She crept from behind her tub into the twilight of the long attic, but
1451 just then she heard a quick foot-step on the stairs.
1452
1453 Tom had been too much interested in his talk with Luke, in going the
1454 round of the premises, walking in and out where he pleased, and
1455 whittling sticks without any particular reason,--except that he didn't
1456 whittle sticks at school,--to think of Maggie and the effect his anger
1457 had produced on her. He meant to punish her, and that business having
1458 been performed, he occupied himself with other matters, like a
1459 practical person. But when he had been called in to tea, his father
1460 said, "Why, where's the little wench?" and Mrs. Tulliver, almost at
1461 the same moment, said, "Where's your little sister?"--both of them
1462 having supposed that Maggie and Tom had been together all the
1463 afternoon.
1464
1465 "I don't know," said Tom. He didn't want to "tell" of Maggie, though
1466 he was angry with her; for Tom Tulliver was a lad of honor.
1467
1468 "What! hasn't she been playing with you all this while?" said the
1469 father. "She'd been thinking o' nothing but your coming home."
1470
1471 "I haven't seen her this two hours," says Tom, commencing on the
1472 plumcake.
1473
1474 "Goodness heart; she's got drownded!" exclaimed Mrs. Tulliver, rising
1475 from her seat and running to the window.
1476
1477 "How could you let her do so?" she added, as became a fearful woman,
1478 accusing she didn't know whom of she didn't know what.
1479
1480 "Nay, nay, she's none drownded," said Mr. Tulliver. "You've been
1481 naughty to her, I doubt, Tom?"
1482
1483 "I'm sure I haven't, father," said Tom, indignantly. "I think she's in
1484 the house."
1485
1486 "Perhaps up in that attic," said Mrs. Tulliver, "a-singing and talking
1487 to herself, and forgetting all about meal-times."
1488
1489 "You go and fetch her down, Tom," said Mr. Tulliver, rather
1490 sharply,--his perspicacity or his fatherly fondness for Maggie making
1491 him suspect that the lad had been hard upon "the little un," else she
1492 would never have left his side. "And be good to her, do you hear? Else
1493 I'll let you know better."
1494
1495 Tom never disobeyed his father, for Mr. Tulliver was a peremptory man,
1496 and, as he said, would never let anybody get hold of his whip-hand;
1497 but he went out rather sullenly, carrying his piece of plumcake, and
1498 not intending to reprieve Maggie's punishment, which was no more than
1499 she deserved. Tom was only thirteen, and had no decided views in
1500 grammar and arithmetic, regarding them for the most part as open
1501 questions, but he was particularly clear and positive on one
1502 point,--namely, that he would punish everybody who deserved it. Why,
1503 he wouldn't have minded being punished himself if he deserved it; but,
1504 then, he never _did_ deserve it.
1505
1506 It was Tom's step, then, that Maggie heard on the stairs, when her
1507 need of love had triumphed over her pride, and she was going down with
1508 her swollen eyes and dishevelled hair to beg for pity. At least her
1509 father would stroke her head and say, "Never mind, my wench." It is a
1510 wonderful subduer, this need of love,--this hunger of the heart,--as
1511 peremptory as that other hunger by which Nature forces us to submit to
1512 the yoke, and change the face of the world.
1513
1514 But she knew Tom's step, and her heart began to beat violently with
1515 the sudden shock of hope. He only stood still at the top of the stairs
1516 and said, "Maggie, you're to come down." But she rushed to him and
1517 clung round his neck, sobbing, "Oh, Tom, please forgive me--I can't
1518 bear it--I will always be good--always remember things--do love
1519 me--please, dear Tom!"
1520
1521 We learn to restrain ourselves as we get older. We keep apart when we
1522 have quarrelled, express ourselves in well-bred phrases, and in this
1523 way preserve a dignified alienation, showing much firmness on one
1524 side, and swallowing much grief on the other. We no longer approximate
1525 in our behavior to the mere impulsiveness of the lower animals, but
1526 conduct ourselves in every respect like members of a highly civilized
1527 society. Maggie and Tom were still very much like young animals, and
1528 so she could rub her cheek against his, and kiss his ear in a random
1529 sobbing way; and there were tender fibres in the lad that had been
1530 used to answer to Maggie's fondling, so that he behaved with a
1531 weakness quite inconsistent with his resolution to punish her as much
1532 as she deserved. He actually began to kiss her in return, and say,--
1533
1534 "Don't cry, then, Magsie; here, eat a bit o' cake."
1535
1536 Maggie's sobs began to subside, and she put out her mouth for the cake
1537 and bit a piece; and then Tom bit a piece, just for company, and they
1538 ate together and rubbed each other's cheeks and brows and noses
1539 together, while they ate, with a humiliating resemblance to two
1540 friendly ponies.
1541
1542 "Come along, Magsie, and have tea," said Tom at last, when there was
1543 no more cake except what was down-stairs.
1544
1545 So ended the sorrows of this day, and the next morning Maggie was
1546 trotting with her own fishing-rod in one hand and a handle of the
1547 basket in the other, stepping always, by a peculiar gift, in the
1548 muddiest places, and looking darkly radiant from under her
1549 beaver-bonnet because Tom was good to her. She had told Tom, however,
1550 that she should like him to put the worms on the hook for her,
1551 although she accepted his word when he assured her that worms couldn't
1552 feel (it was Tom's private opinion that it didn't much matter if they
1553 did). He knew all about worms, and fish, and those things; and what
1554 birds were mischievous, and how padlocks opened, and which way the
1555 handles of the gates were to be lifted. Maggie thought this sort of
1556 knowledge was very wonderful,--much more difficult than remembering
1557 what was in the books; and she was rather in awe of Tom's superiority,
1558 for he was the only person who called her knowledge "stuff," and did
1559 not feel surprised at her cleverness. Tom, indeed, was of opinion that
1560 Maggie was a silly little thing; all girls were silly,--they couldn't
1561 throw a stone so as to hit anything, couldn't do anything with a
1562 pocket-knife, and were frightened at frogs. Still, he was very fond of
1563 his sister, and meant always to take care of her, make her his
1564 housekeeper, and punish her when she did wrong.
1565
1566 They were on their way to the Round Pool,--that wonderful pool, which
1567 the floods had made a long while ago. No one knew how deep it was; and
1568 it was mysterious, too, that it should be almost a perfect round,
1569 framed in with willows and tall reeds, so that the water was only to
1570 be seen when you got close to the brink. The sight of the old favorite
1571 spot always heightened Tom's good humor, and he spoke to Maggie in the
1572 most amicable whispers, as he opened the precious basket and prepared
1573 their tackle. He threw her line for her, and put the rod into her
1574 hand. Maggie thought it probable that the small fish would come to her
1575 hook, and the large ones to Tom's. But she had forgotten all about the
1576 fish, and was looking dreamily at the glassy water, when Tom said, in
1577 a loud whisper, "Look, look, Maggie!" and came running to prevent her
1578 from snatching her line away.
1579
1580 Maggie was frightened lest she had been doing something wrong, as
1581 usual, but presently Tom drew out her line and brought a large tench
1582 bouncing on the grass.
1583
1584 Tom was excited.
1585
1586 "O Magsie, you little duck! Empty the basket."
1587
1588 Maggie was not conscious of unusual merit, but it was enough that Tom
1589 called her Magsie, and was pleased with her. There was nothing to mar
1590 her delight in the whispers and the dreamy silences, when she listened
1591 to the light dripping sounds of the rising fish, and the gentle
1592 rustling, as if the willows and the reeds and the water had their
1593 happy whisperings also. Maggie thought it would make a very nice
1594 heaven to sit by the pool in that way, and never be scolded. She never
1595 knew she had a bite till Tom told her; but she liked fishing very
1596 much.
1597
1598 It was one of their happy mornings. They trotted along and sat down
1599 together, with no thought that life would ever change much for them;
1600 they would only get bigger and not go to school, and it would always
1601 be like the holidays; they would always live together and be fond of
1602 each other. And the mill with its booming; the great chestnut-tree
1603 under which they played at houses; their own little river, the Ripple,
1604 where the banks seemed like home, and Tom was always seeing the
1605 water-rats, while Maggie gathered the purple plumy tops of the reeds,
1606 which she forgot and dropped afterward; above all, the great Floss,
1607 along which they wandered with a sense of travel, to see the rushing
1608 spring-tide, the awful Eagle, come up like a hungry monster, or to see
1609 the Great Ash which had once wailed and groaned like a man, these
1610 things would always be just the same to them. Tom thought people were
1611 at a disadvantage who lived on any other spot of the globe; and
1612 Maggie, when she read about Christiana passing "the river over which
1613 there is no bridge," always saw the Floss between the green pastures
1614 by the Great Ash.
1615
1616 Life did change for Tom and Maggie; and yet they were not wrong in
1617 believing that the thoughts and loves of these first years would
1618 always make part of their lives. We could never have loved the earth
1619 so well if we had had no childhood in it,--if it were not the earth
1620 where the same flowers come up again every spring that we used to
1621 gather with our tiny fingers as we sat lisping to ourselves on the
1622 grass; the same hips and haws on the autumn's hedgerows; the same
1623 redbreasts that we used to call "God's birds," because they did no
1624 harm to the precious crops. What novelty is worth that sweet monotony
1625 where everything is known, and _loved_ because it is known?
1626
1627 The wood I walk in on this mild May day, with the young yellow-brown
1628 foliage of the oaks between me and the blue sky, the white
1629 star-flowers and the blue-eyed speedwell and the ground ivy at my
1630 feet, what grove of tropic palms, what strange ferns or splendid
1631 broad-petalled blossoms, could ever thrill such deep and delicate
1632 fibres within me as this home scene? These familiar flowers, these
1633 well-remembered bird-notes, this sky, with its fitful brightness,
1634 these furrowed and grassy fields, each with a sort of personality
1635 given to it by the capricious hedgerows,--such things as these are the
1636 mother-tongue of our imagination, the language that is laden with all
1637 the subtle, inextricable associations the fleeting hours of our
1638 childhood left behind them. Our delight in the sunshine on the
1639 deep-bladed grass to-day might be no more than the faint perception of
1640 wearied souls, if it were not for the sunshine and the grass in the
1641 far-off years which still live in us, and transform our perception
1642 into love.
1643
1644
1645
1646 Chapter VI
1647
1648 The Aunts and Uncles Are Coming
1649
1650
1651 It was Easter week, and Mrs. Tulliver's cheesecakes were more
1652 exquisitely light than usual. "A puff o' wind 'ud make 'em blow about
1653 like feathers," Kezia the housemaid said, feeling proud to live under
1654 a mistress who could make such pastry; so that no season or
1655 circumstances could have been more propitious for a family party, even
1656 if it had not been advisable to consult sister Glegg and sister Pullet
1657 about Tom's going to school.
1658
1659 "I'd as lief not invite sister Deane this time," said Mrs. Tulliver,
1660 "for she's as jealous and having as can be, and's allays trying to
1661 make the worst o' my poor children to their aunts and uncles."
1662
1663 "Yes, yes," said Mr. Tulliver, "ask her to come. I never hardly get a
1664 bit o' talk with Deane now; we haven't had him this six months. What's
1665 it matter what she says? My children need be beholding to nobody."
1666
1667 "That's what you allays say, Mr. Tulliver; but I'm sure there's nobody
1668 o' your side, neither aunt nor uncle, to leave 'em so much as a
1669 five-pound note for a leggicy. And there's sister Glegg, and sister
1670 Pullet too, saving money unknown, for they put by all their own
1671 interest and butter-money too; their husbands buy 'em everything."
1672 Mrs. Tulliver was a mild woman, but even a sheep will face about a
1673 little when she has lambs.
1674
1675 "Tchuh!" said Mr. Tulliver. "It takes a big loaf when there's many to
1676 breakfast. What signifies your sisters' bits o' money when they've got
1677 half-a-dozen nevvies and nieces to divide it among? And your sister
1678 Deane won't get 'em to leave all to one, I reckon, and make the
1679 country cry shame on 'em when they are dead?"
1680
1681 "I don't know what she won't get 'em to do," said Mrs. Tulliver, "for
1682 my children are so awk'ard wi' their aunts and uncles. Maggie's ten
1683 times naughtier when they come than she is other days, and Tom doesn't
1684 like 'em, bless him!--though it's more nat'ral in a boy than a gell.
1685 And there's Lucy Dean's such a good child,--you may set her on a
1686 stool, and there she'll sit for an hour together, and never offer to
1687 get off. I can't help loving the child as if she was my own; and I'm
1688 sure she's more like _my_ child than sister Deane's, for she'd allays
1689 a very poor color for one of our family, sister Deane had."
1690
1691 "Well, well, if you're fond o' the child, ask her father and mother to
1692 bring her with 'em. And won't you ask their aunt and uncle Moss too,
1693 and some o' _their_ children?"
1694
1695 "Oh, dear, Mr. Tulliver, why, there'd be eight people besides the
1696 children, and I must put two more leaves i' the table, besides
1697 reaching down more o' the dinner-service; and you know as well as I do
1698 as _my_ sisters and _your_ sister don't suit well together."
1699
1700 "Well, well, do as you like, Bessy," said Mr. Tulliver, taking up his
1701 hat and walking out to the mill. Few wives were more submissive than
1702 Mrs. Tulliver on all points unconnected with her family relations; but
1703 she had been a Miss Dodson, and the Dodsons were a very respectable
1704 family indeed,--as much looked up to as any in their own parish, or
1705 the next to it. The Miss Dodsons had always been thought to hold up
1706 their heads very high, and no one was surprised the two eldest had
1707 married so well,--not at an early age, for that was not the practice
1708 of the Dodson family. There were particular ways of doing everything
1709 in that family: particular ways of bleaching the linen, of making the
1710 cowslip wine, curing the hams, and keeping the bottled gooseberries;
1711 so that no daughter of that house could be indifferent to the
1712 privilege of having been born a Dodson, rather than a Gibson or a
1713 Watson. Funerals were always conducted with peculiar propriety in the
1714 Dodson family: the hat-bands were never of a blue shade, the gloves
1715 never split at the thumb, everybody was a mourner who ought to be, and
1716 there were always scarfs for the bearers. When one of the family was
1717 in trouble or sickness, all the rest went to visit the unfortunate
1718 member, usually at the same time, and did not shrink from uttering the
1719 most disagreeable truths that correct family feeling dictated; if the
1720 illness or trouble was the sufferer's own fault, it was not in the
1721 practice of the Dodson family to shrink from saying so. In short,
1722 there was in this family a peculiar tradition as to what was the right
1723 thing in household management and social demeanor, and the only bitter
1724 circumstance attending this superiority was a painful inability to
1725 approve the condiments or the conduct of families ungoverned by the
1726 Dodson tradition. A female Dodson, when in "strange houses," always
1727 ate dry bread with her tea, and declined any sort of preserves, having
1728 no confidence in the butter, and thinking that the preserves had
1729 probably begun to ferment from want of due sugar and boiling. There
1730 were some Dodsons less like the family than others, that was admitted;
1731 but in so far as they were "kin," they were of necessity better than
1732 those who were "no kin." And it is remarkable that while no individual
1733 Dodson was satisfied with any other individual Dodson, each was
1734 satisfied, not only with him or her self, but with the Dodsons
1735 collectively. The feeblest member of a family--the one who has the
1736 least character--is often the merest epitome of the family habits and
1737 traditions; and Mrs. Tulliver was a thorough Dodson, though a mild
1738 one, as small-beer, so long as it is anything, is only describable as
1739 very weak ale: and though she had groaned a little in her youth under
1740 the yoke of her elder sisters, and still shed occasional tears at
1741 their sisterly reproaches, it was not in Mrs. Tulliver to be an
1742 innovator on the family ideas. She was thankful to have been a Dodson,
1743 and to have one child who took after her own family, at least in his
1744 features and complexion, in liking salt and in eating beans, which a
1745 Tulliver never did.
1746
1747 In other respects the true Dodson was partly latent in Tom, and he was
1748 as far from appreciating his "kin" on the mother's side as Maggie
1749 herself, generally absconding for the day with a large supply of the
1750 most portable food, when he received timely warning that his aunts and
1751 uncles were coming,--a moral symptom from which his aunt Glegg deduced
1752 the gloomiest views of his future. It was rather hard on Maggie that
1753 Tom always absconded without letting her into the secret, but the
1754 weaker sex are acknowledged to be serious _impedimenta_ in cases of
1755 flight.
1756
1757 On Wednesday, the day before the aunts and uncles were coming, there
1758 were such various and suggestive scents, as of plumcakes in the oven
1759 and jellies in the hot state, mingled with the aroma of gravy, that it
1760 was impossible to feel altogether gloomy: there was hope in the air.
1761 Tom and Maggie made several inroads into the kitchen, and, like other
1762 marauders, were induced to keep aloof for a time only by being allowed
1763 to carry away a sufficient load of booty.
1764
1765 "Tom," said Maggie, as they sat on the boughs of the elder-tree,
1766 eating their jam-puffs, "shall you run away to-morrow?"
1767
1768 "No," said Tom, slowly, when he had finished his puff, and was eying
1769 the third, which was to be divided between them,--"no, I sha'n't."
1770
1771 "Why, Tom? Because Lucy's coming?"
1772
1773 "No," said Tom, opening his pocket-knife and holding it over the puff,
1774 with his head on one side in a dubitative manner. (It was a difficult
1775 problem to divide that very irregular polygon into two equal parts.)
1776 "What do _I_ care about Lucy? She's only a girl,--_she_ can't play at
1777 bandy."
1778
1779 "Is it the tipsy-cake, then?" said Maggie, exerting her hypothetic
1780 powers, while she leaned forward toward Tom with her eyes fixed on the
1781 hovering knife.
1782
1783 "No, you silly, that'll be good the day after. It's the pudden. I know
1784 what the pudden's to be,--apricot roll-up--O my buttons!"
1785
1786 With this interjection, the knife descended on the puff, and it was in
1787 two, but the result was not satisfactory to Tom, for he still eyed the
1788 halves doubtfully. At last he said,--
1789
1790 "Shut your eyes, Maggie."
1791
1792 "What for?"
1793
1794 "You never mind what for. Shut 'em when I tell you."
1795
1796 Maggie obeyed.
1797
1798 "Now, which'll you have, Maggie,--right hand or left?"
1799
1800 "I'll have that with the jam run out," said Maggie, keeping her eyes
1801 shut to please Tom.
1802
1803 "Why, you don't like that, you silly. You may have it if it comes to
1804 you fair, but I sha'n't give it you without. Right or left,--you
1805 choose, now. Ha-a-a!" said Tom, in a tone of exasperation, as Maggie
1806 peeped. "You keep your eyes shut, now, else you sha'n't have any."
1807
1808 Maggie's power of sacrifice did not extend so far; indeed, I fear she
1809 cared less that Tom should enjoy the utmost possible amount of puff,
1810 than that he should be pleased with her for giving him the best bit.
1811 So she shut her eyes quite close, till Tom told her to "say which,"
1812 and then she said, "Left hand."
1813
1814 "You've got it," said Tom, in rather a bitter tone.
1815
1816 "What! the bit with the jam run out?"
1817
1818 "No; here, take it," said Tom, firmly, handing, decidedly the best
1819 piece to Maggie.
1820
1821 "Oh, please, Tom, have it; I don't mind--I like the other; please take
1822 this."
1823
1824 "No, I sha'n't," said Tom, almost crossly, beginning on his own
1825 inferior piece.
1826
1827 Maggie, thinking it was no use to contend further, began too, and ate
1828 up her half puff with considerable relish as well as rapidity. But Tom
1829 had finished first, and had to look on while Maggie ate her last
1830 morsel or two, feeling in himself a capacity for more. Maggie didn't
1831 know Tom was looking at her; she was seesawing on the elder-bough,
1832 lost to almost everything but a vague sense of jam and idleness.
1833
1834 "Oh, you greedy thing!" said Tom, when she had swallowed the last
1835 morsel. He was conscious of having acted very fairly, and thought she
1836 ought to have considered this, and made up to him for it. He would
1837 have refused a bit of hers beforehand, but one is naturally at a
1838 different point of view before and after one's own share of puff is
1839 swallowed.
1840
1841 Maggie turned quite pale. "Oh, Tom, why didn't you ask me?"
1842
1843 "I wasn't going to ask you for a bit, you greedy. You might have
1844 thought of it without, when you knew I gave you the best bit."
1845
1846 "But I wanted you to have it; you know I did," said Maggie, in an
1847 injured tone.
1848
1849 "Yes, but I wasn't going to do what wasn't fair, like Spouncer. He
1850 always takes the best bit, if you don't punch him for it; and if you
1851 choose the best with your eyes shut, he changes his hands. But if I go
1852 halves, I'll go 'em fair; only I wouldn't be a greedy."
1853
1854 With this cutting innuendo, Tom jumped down from his bough, and threw
1855 a stone with a "hoigh!" as a friendly attention to Yap, who had also
1856 been looking on while the eatables vanished, with an agitation of his
1857 ears and feelings which could hardly have been without bitterness. Yet
1858 the excellent dog accepted Tom's attention with as much alacrity as if
1859 he had been treated quite generously.
1860
1861 But Maggie, gifted with that superior power of misery which
1862 distinguishes the human being, and places him at a proud distance from
1863 the most melancholy chimpanzee, sat still on her bough, and gave
1864 herself up to the keen sense of unmerited reproach. She would have
1865 given the world not to have eaten all her puff, and to have saved some
1866 of it for Tom. Not but that the puff was very nice, for Maggie's
1867 palate was not at all obtuse, but she would have gone without it many
1868 times over, sooner than Tom should call her greedy and be cross with
1869 her. And he had said he wouldn't have it, and she ate it without
1870 thinking; how could she help it? The tears flowed so plentifully that
1871 Maggie saw nothing around her for the next ten minutes; but by that
1872 time resentment began to give way to the desire of reconciliation, and
1873 she jumped from her bough to look for Tom. He was no longer in the
1874 paddock behind the rickyard; where was he likely to be gone, and Yap
1875 with him? Maggie ran to the high bank against the great holly-tree,
1876 where she could see far away toward the Floss. There was Tom; but her
1877 heart sank again as she saw how far off he was on his way to the great
1878 river, and that he had another companion besides Yap,--naughty Bob
1879 Jakin, whose official, if not natural, function of frightening the
1880 birds was just now at a standstill. Maggie felt sure that Bob was
1881 wicked, without very distinctly knowing why; unless it was because
1882 Bob's mother was a dreadfully large fat woman, who lived at a queer
1883 round house down the river; and once, when Maggie and Tom had wandered
1884 thither, there rushed out a brindled dog that wouldn't stop barking;
1885 and when Bob's mother came out after it, and screamed above the
1886 barking to tell them not to be frightened, Maggie thought she was
1887 scolding them fiercely, and her heart beat with terror. Maggie thought
1888 it very likely that the round house had snakes on the floor, and bats
1889 in the bedroom; for she had seen Bob take off his cap to show Tom a
1890 little snake that was inside it, and another time he had a handful of
1891 young bats: altogether, he was an irregular character, perhaps even
1892 slightly diabolical, judging from his intimacy with snakes and bats;
1893 and to crown all, when Tom had Bob for a companion, he didn't mind
1894 about Maggie, and would never let her go with him.
1895
1896 It must be owned that Tom was fond of Bob's company. How could it be
1897 otherwise? Bob knew, directly he saw a bird's egg, whether it was a
1898 swallow's, or a tomtit's, or a yellow-hammer's; he found out all the
1899 wasps' nests, and could set all sort of traps; he could climb the
1900 trees like a squirrel, and had quite a magical power of detecting
1901 hedgehogs and stoats; and he had courage to do things that were rather
1902 naughty, such as making gaps in the hedgerows, throwing stones after
1903 the sheep, and killing a cat that was wandering _incognito_.
1904
1905 Such qualities in an inferior, who could always be treated with
1906 authority in spite of his superior knowingness, had necessarily a
1907 fatal fascination for Tom; and every holiday-time Maggie was sure to
1908 have days of grief because he had gone off with Bob.
1909
1910 Well! there was no hope for it; he was gone now, and Maggie could
1911 think of no comfort but to sit down by the hollow, or wander by the
1912 hedgerow, and fancy it was all different, refashioning her little
1913 world into just what she should like it to be.
1914
1915 Maggie's was a troublous life, and this was the form in which she took
1916 her opium.
1917
1918 Meanwhile Tom, forgetting all about Maggie and the sting of reproach
1919 which he had left in her heart, was hurrying along with Bob, whom he
1920 had met accidentally, to the scene of a great rat-catching in a
1921 neighboring barn. Bob knew all about this particular affair, and spoke
1922 of the sport with an enthusiasm which no one who is not either
1923 divested of all manly feeling, or pitiably ignorant of rat-catching,
1924 can fail to imagine. For a person suspected of preternatural
1925 wickedness, Bob was really not so very villanous-looking; there was
1926 even something agreeable in his snub-nosed face, with its close-curled
1927 border of red hair. But then his trousers were always rolled up at the
1928 knee, for the convenience of wading on the slightest notice; and his
1929 virtue, supposing it to exist, was undeniably "virtue in rags," which,
1930 on the authority even of bilious philosophers, who think all
1931 well-dressed merit overpaid, is notoriously likely to remain
1932 unrecognized (perhaps because it is seen so seldom).
1933
1934 "I know the chap as owns the ferrets," said Bob, in a hoarse treble
1935 voice, as he shuffled along, keeping his blue eyes fixed on the river,
1936 like an amphibious animal who foresaw occasion for darting in. "He
1937 lives up the Kennel Yard at Sut Ogg's, he does. He's the biggest
1938 rot-catcher anywhere, he is. I'd sooner, be a rot-catcher nor
1939 anything, I would. The moles is nothing to the rots. But Lors! you mun
1940 ha' ferrets. Dogs is no good. Why, there's that dog, now!" Bob
1941 continued, pointing with an air of disgust toward Yap, "he's no more
1942 good wi' a rot nor nothin'. I see it myself, I did, at the
1943 rot-catchin' i' your feyther's barn."
1944
1945 Yap, feeling the withering influence of this scorn, tucked his tail in
1946 and shrank close to Tom's leg, who felt a little hurt for him, but had
1947 not the superhuman courage to seem behindhand with Bob in contempt for
1948 a dog who made so poor a figure.
1949
1950 "No, no," he said, "Yap's no good at sport. I'll have regular good
1951 dogs for rats and everything, when I've done school."
1952
1953 "Hev ferrets, Measter Tom," said Bob, eagerly,--"them white ferrets
1954 wi' pink eyes; Lors, you might catch your own rots, an' you might put
1955 a rot in a cage wi' a ferret, an' see 'em fight, you might. That's
1956 what I'd do, I know, an' it 'ud be better fun a'most nor seein' two
1957 chaps fight,--if it wasn't them chaps as sold cakes an' oranges at the
1958 Fair, as the things flew out o' their baskets, an' some o' the cakes
1959 was smashed--But they tasted just as good," added Bob, by way of note
1960 or addendum, after a moment's pause.
1961
1962 "But, I say, Bob," said Tom, in a tone of deliberation, "ferrets are
1963 nasty biting things,--they'll bite a fellow without being set on."
1964
1965 "Lors! why that's the beauty on 'em. If a chap lays hold o' your
1966 ferret, he won't be long before he hollows out a good un, _he_ won't."
1967
1968 At this moment a striking incident made the boys pause suddenly in
1969 their walk. It was the plunging of some small body in the water from
1970 among the neighboring bulrushes; if it was not a water-rat, Bob
1971 intimated that he was ready to undergo the most unpleasant
1972 consequences.
1973
1974 "Hoigh! Yap,--hoigh! there he is," said Tom, clapping his hands, as
1975 the little black snout made its arrowy course to the opposite bank.
1976 "Seize him, lad! seize him!"
1977
1978 Yap agitated his ears and wrinkled his brows, but declined to plunge,
1979 trying whether barking would not answer the purpose just as well.
1980
1981 "Ugh! you coward!" said Tom, and kicked him over, feeling humiliated
1982 as a sportsman to possess so poor-spirited an animal. Bob abstained
1983 from remark and passed on, choosing, however, to walk in the shallow
1984 edge of the overflowing river by way of change.
1985
1986 "He's none so full now, the Floss isn't," said Bob, as he kicked the
1987 water up before him, with an agreeable sense of being insolent to it.
1988 "Why, last 'ear, the meadows was all one sheet o' water, they was."
1989
1990 "Ay, but," said Tom, whose mind was prone to see an opposition between
1991 statements that were really accordant,--"but there was a big flood
1992 once, when the Round Pool was made. _I_ know there was, 'cause father
1993 says so. And the sheep and cows all drowned, and the boats went all
1994 over the fields ever such a way."
1995
1996 "_I_ don't care about a flood comin'," said Bob; "I don't mind the
1997 water, no more nor the land. I'd swim, _I_ would."
1998
1999 "Ah, but if you got nothing to eat for ever so long?" said Tom, his
2000 imagination becoming quite active under the stimulus of that dread.
2001 "When I'm a man, I shall make a boat with a wooden house on the top of
2002 it, like Noah's ark, and keep plenty to eat in it,--rabbits and
2003 things,--all ready. And then if the flood came, you know, Bob, I
2004 shouldn't mind. And I'd take you in, if I saw you swimming," he added,
2005 in the tone of a benevolent patron.
2006
2007 "I aren't frighted," said Bob, to whom hunger did not appear so
2008 appalling. "But I'd get in an' knock the rabbits on th' head when you
2009 wanted to eat 'em."
2010
2011 "Ah, and I should have halfpence, and we'd play at heads-and-tails,"
2012 said Tom, not contemplating the possibility that this recreation might
2013 have fewer charms for his mature age. "I'd divide fair to begin with,
2014 and then we'd see who'd win."
2015
2016 "I've got a halfpenny o' my own," said Bob, proudly, coming out of the
2017 water and tossing his halfpenny in the air. "Yeads or tails?"
2018
2019 "Tails," said Tom, instantly fired with the desire to win.
2020
2021 "It's yeads," said Bob, hastily, snatching up the halfpenny as it
2022 fell.
2023
2024 "It wasn't," said Tom, loudly and peremptorily. "You give me the
2025 halfpenny; I've won it fair."
2026
2027 "I sha'n't," said Bob, holding it tight in his pocket.
2028
2029 "Then I'll make you; see if I don't," said Tom.
2030
2031 "Yes, I can."
2032
2033 "You can't make me do nothing, you can't," said Bob.
2034
2035 "No, you can't."
2036
2037 "I'm master."
2038
2039 "I don't care for you."
2040
2041 "But I'll make you care, you cheat," said Tom, collaring Bob and
2042 shaking him.
2043
2044 "You get out wi' you," said Bob, giving Tom a kick.
2045
2046 Tom's blood was thoroughly up: he went at Bob with a lunge and threw
2047 him down, but Bob seized hold and kept it like a cat, and pulled Tom
2048 down after him. They struggled fiercely on the ground for a moment or
2049 two, till Tom, pinning Bob down by the shoulders, thought he had the
2050 mastery.
2051
2052 "_You_, say you'll give me the halfpenny now," he said, with
2053 difficulty, while he exerted himself to keep the command of Bob's
2054 arms.
2055
2056 But at this moment Yap, who had been running on before, returned
2057 barking to the scene of action, and saw a favorable opportunity for
2058 biting Bob's bare leg not only with inpunity but with honor. The pain
2059 from Yap's teeth, instead of surprising Bob into a relaxation of his
2060 hold, gave it a fiercer tenacity, and with a new exertion of his force
2061 he pushed Tom backward and got uppermost. But now Yap, who could get
2062 no sufficient purchase before, set his teeth in a new place, so that
2063 Bob, harassed in this way, let go his hold of Tom, and, almost
2064 throttling Yap, flung him into the river. By this time Tom was up
2065 again, and before Bob had quite recovered his balance after the act of
2066 swinging Yap, Tom fell upon him, threw him down, and got his knees
2067 firmly on Bob's chest.
2068
2069 "You give me the halfpenny now," said Tom.
2070
2071 "Take it," said Bob, sulkily.
2072
2073 "No, I sha'n't take it; you give it me."
2074
2075 Bob took the halfpenny out of his pocket, and threw it away from him
2076 on the ground.
2077
2078 Tom loosed his hold, and left Bob to rise.
2079
2080 "There the halfpenny lies," he said. "I don't want your halfpenny; I
2081 wouldn't have kept it. But you wanted to cheat; I hate a cheat. I
2082 sha'n't go along with you any more," he added, turning round homeward,
2083 not without casting a regret toward the rat-catching and other
2084 pleasures which he must relinquish along with Bob's society.
2085
2086 "You may let it alone, then," Bob called out after him. "I shall cheat
2087 if I like; there's no fun i' playing else; and I know where there's a
2088 goldfinch's nest, but I'll take care _you_ don't. An' you're a nasty
2089 fightin' turkey-cock, you are----"
2090
2091 Tom walked on without looking around, and Yap followed his example,
2092 the cold bath having moderated his passions.
2093
2094 "Go along wi' you, then, wi' your drowned dog; I wouldn't own such a
2095 dog--_I_ wouldn't," said Bob, getting louder, in a last effort to
2096 sustain his defiance. But Tom was not to be provoked into turning
2097 round, and Bob's voice began to falter a little as he said,--
2098
2099 "An' I'n gi'en you everything, an' showed you everything, an' niver
2100 wanted nothin' from you. An' there's your horn-handed knife, then as
2101 you gi'en me." Here Bob flung the knife as far as he could after Tom's
2102 retreating footsteps. But it produced no effect, except the sense in
2103 Bob's mind that there was a terrible void in his lot, now that knife
2104 was gone.
2105
2106 He stood still till Tom had passed through the gate and disappeared
2107 behind the hedge. The knife would do not good on the ground there; it
2108 wouldn't vex Tom; and pride or resentment was a feeble passion in
2109 Bob's mind compared with the love of a pocket-knife. His very fingers
2110 sent entreating thrills that he would go and clutch that familiar
2111 rough buck's-horn handle, which they had so often grasped for mere
2112 affection, as it lay idle in his pocket. And there were two blades,
2113 and they had just been sharpened! What is life without a pocket-knife
2114 to him who has once tasted a higher existence? No; to throw the handle
2115 after the hatchet is a comprehensible act of desperation, but to throw
2116 one's pocket-knife after an implacable friend is clearly in every
2117 sense a hyperbole, or throwing beyond the mark. So Bob shuffled back
2118 to the spot where the beloved knife lay in the dirt, and felt quite a
2119 new pleasure in clutching it again after the temporary separation, in
2120 opening one blade after the other, and feeling their edge with his
2121 well-hardened thumb. Poor Bob! he was not sensitive on the point of
2122 honor, not a chivalrous character. That fine moral aroma would not
2123 have been thought much of by the public opinion of Kennel Yard, which
2124 was the very focus or heart of Bob's world, even if it could have made
2125 itself perceptible there; yet, for all that, he was not utterly a
2126 sneak and a thief as our friend Tom had hastily decided.
2127
2128 But Tom, you perceive, was rather a Rhadamanthine personage, having
2129 more than the usual share of boy's justice in him,--the justice that
2130 desires to hurt culprits as much as they deserve to be hurt, and is
2131 troubled with no doubts concerning the exact amount of their deserts.
2132 Maggie saw a cloud on his brow when he came home, which checked her
2133 joy at his coming so much sooner than she had expected, and she dared
2134 hardly speak to him as he stood silently throwing the small
2135 gravel-stones into the mill-dam. It is not pleasant to give up a
2136 rat-catching when you have set your mind on it. But if Tom had told
2137 his strongest feeling at that moment, he would have said, "I'd do just
2138 the same again." That was his usual mode of viewing his past actions;
2139 whereas Maggie was always wishing she had done something different.
2140
2141
2142
2143 Chapter VII
2144
2145 Enter the Aunts and Uncles
2146
2147
2148 The Dodsons were certainly a handsome family, and Mrs. Glegg was not
2149 the least handsome of the sisters. As she sat in Mrs. Tulliver's
2150 arm-chair, no impartial observer could have denied that for a woman of
2151 fifty she had a very comely face and figure, though Tom and Maggie
2152 considered their aunt Glegg as the type of ugliness. It is true she
2153 despised the advantages of costume, for though, as she often observed,
2154 no woman had better clothes, it was not her way to wear her new things
2155 out before her old ones. Other women, if they liked, might have their
2156 best thread-lace in every wash; but when Mrs. Glegg died, it would be
2157 found that she had better lace laid by in the right-hand drawer of her
2158 wardrobe in the Spotted Chamber than ever Mrs. Wooll of St. Ogg's had
2159 bought in her life, although Mrs. Wooll wore her lace before it was
2160 paid for. So of her curled fronts: Mrs. Glegg had doubtless the
2161 glossiest and crispest brown curls in her drawers, as well as curls in
2162 various degrees of fuzzy laxness; but to look out on the week-day
2163 world from under a crisp and glossy front would be to introduce a most
2164 dreamlike and unpleasant confusion between the sacred and the secular.
2165 Occasionally, indeed, Mrs. Glegg wore one of her third-best fronts on
2166 a week-day visit, but not at a sister's house; especially not at Mrs.
2167 Tulliver's, who, since her marriage, had hurt her sister's feelings
2168 greatly by wearing her own hair, though, as Mrs. Glegg observed to
2169 Mrs. Deane, a mother of a family, like Bessy, with a husband always
2170 going to law, might have been expected to know better. But Bessy was
2171 always weak!
2172
2173 So if Mrs. Glegg's front to-day was more fuzzy and lax than usual, she
2174 had a design under it: she intended the most pointed and cutting
2175 allusion to Mrs. Tulliver's bunches of blond curls, separated from
2176 each other by a due wave of smoothness on each side of the parting.
2177 Mrs. Tulliver had shed tears several times at sister Glegg's
2178 unkindness on the subject of these unmatronly curls, but the
2179 consciousness of looking the handsomer for them naturally administered
2180 support. Mrs. Glegg chose to wear her bonnet in the house
2181 to-day,--untied and tilted slightly, of course--a frequent practice of
2182 hers when she was on a visit, and happened to be in a severe humor:
2183 she didn't know what draughts there might be in strange houses. For
2184 the same reason she wore a small sable tippet, which reached just to
2185 her shoulders, and was very far from meeting across her well-formed
2186 chest, while her long neck was protected by a _chevaux-de-frise_ of
2187 miscellaneous frilling. One would need to be learned in the fashions
2188 of those times to know how far in the rear of them Mrs. Glegg's
2189 slate-colored silk gown must have been; but from certain
2190 constellations of small yellow spots upon it, and a mouldy odor about
2191 it suggestive of a damp clothes-chest, it was probable that it
2192 belonged to a stratum of garments just old enough to have come
2193 recently into wear.
2194
2195 Mrs. Glegg held her large gold watch in her hand with the many-doubled
2196 chain round her fingers, and observed to Mrs. Tulliver, who had just
2197 returned from a visit to the kitchen, that whatever it might be by
2198 other people's clocks and watches, it was gone half-past twelve by
2199 hers.
2200
2201 "I don't know what ails sister Pullet," she continued. "It used to be
2202 the way in our family for one to be as early as another,--I'm sure it
2203 was so in my poor father's time,--and not for one sister to sit half
2204 an hour before the others came. But if the ways o' the family are
2205 altered, it sha'n't be _my_ fault; _I'll_ never be the one to come
2206 into a house when all the rest are going away. I wonder _at_ sister
2207 Deane,--she used to be more like me. But if you'll take my advice,
2208 Bessy, you'll put the dinner forrard a bit, sooner than put it back,
2209 because folks are late as ought to ha' known better."
2210
2211 "Oh dear, there's no fear but what they'll be all here in time,
2212 sister," said Mrs. Tulliver, in her mild-peevish tone. "The dinner
2213 won't be ready till half-past one. But if it's long for you to wait,
2214 let me fetch you a cheesecake and a glass o' wine."
2215
2216 "Well, Bessy!" said Mrs. Glegg, with a bitter smile and a scarcely
2217 perceptible toss of her head, "I should ha' thought you'd known your
2218 own sister better. I never _did_ eat between meals, and I'm not going
2219 to begin. Not but what I hate that nonsense of having your dinner at
2220 half-past one, when you might have it at one. You was never brought up
2221 in that way, Bessy."
2222
2223 "Why, Jane, what can I do? Mr. Tulliver doesn't like his dinner before
2224 two o'clock, but I put it half an hour earlier because o' you."
2225
2226 "Yes, yes, I know how it is with husbands,--they're for putting
2227 everything off; they'll put the dinner off till after tea, if they've
2228 got wives as are weak enough to give in to such work; but it's a pity
2229 for you, Bessy, as you haven't got more strength o' mind. It'll be
2230 well if your children don't suffer for it. And I hope you've not gone
2231 and got a great dinner for us,--going to expense for your sisters, as
2232 'ud sooner eat a crust o' dry bread nor help to ruin you with
2233 extravagance. I wonder you don't take pattern by your sister Deane;
2234 she's far more sensible. And here you've got two children to provide
2235 for, and your husband's spent your fortin i' going to law, and's
2236 likely to spend his own too. A boiled joint, as you could make broth
2237 of for the kitchen," Mrs. Glegg added, in a tone of emphatic protest,
2238 "and a plain pudding, with a spoonful o' sugar, and no spice, 'ud be
2239 far more becoming."
2240
2241 With sister Glegg in this humor, there was a cheerful prospect for the
2242 day. Mrs. Tulliver never went the length of quarrelling with her, any
2243 more than a water-fowl that puts out its leg in a deprecating manner
2244 can be said to quarrel with a boy who throws stones. But this point of
2245 the dinner was a tender one, and not at all new, so that Mrs. Tulliver
2246 could make the same answer she had often made before.
2247
2248 "Mr. Tulliver says he always _will_ have a good dinner for his friends
2249 while he can pay for it," she said; "and he's a right to do as he
2250 likes in his own house, sister."
2251
2252 "Well, Bessy, _I_ can't leave your children enough out o' my savings
2253 to keep 'em from ruin. And you mustn't look to having any o' Mr.
2254 Glegg's money, for it's well if I don't go first,--he comes of a
2255 long-lived family; and if he was to die and leave me well for my life,
2256 he'd tie all the money up to go back to his own kin."
2257
2258 The sound of wheels while Mrs. Glegg was speaking was an interruption
2259 highly welcome to Mrs. Tulliver, who hastened out to receive sister
2260 Pullet; it must be sister Pullet, because the sound was that of a
2261 four-wheel.
2262
2263 Mrs. Glegg tossed her head and looked rather sour about the mouth at
2264 the thought of the "four-wheel." She had a strong opinion on that
2265 subject.
2266
2267 Sister Pullet was in tears when the one-horse chaise stopped before
2268 Mrs. Tulliver's door, and it was apparently requisite that she should
2269 shed a few more before getting out; for though her husband and Mrs.
2270 Tulliver stood ready to support her, she sat still and shook her head
2271 sadly, as she looked through her tears at the vague distance.
2272
2273 "Why, whativer is the matter, sister?" said Mrs. Tulliver. She was not
2274 an imaginative woman, but it occurred to her that the large
2275 toilet-glass in sister Pullet's best bedroom was possibly broken for
2276 the second time.
2277
2278 There was no reply but a further shake of the head, as Mrs. Pullet
2279 slowly rose and got down from the chaise, not without casting a glance
2280 at Mr. Pullet to see that he was guarding her handsome silk dress from
2281 injury. Mr. Pullet was a small man, with a high nose, small twinkling
2282 eyes, and thin lips, in a fresh-looking suit of black and a white
2283 cravat, that seemed to have been tied very tight on some higher
2284 principle than that of mere personal ease. He bore about the same
2285 relation to his tall, good-looking wife, with her balloon sleeves,
2286 abundant mantle, and a large befeathered and beribboned bonnet, as a
2287 small fishing-smack bears to a brig with all its sails spread.
2288
2289 It is a pathetic sight and a striking example of the complexity
2290 introduced into the emotions by a high state of civilization, the
2291 sight of a fashionably dressed female in grief. From the sorrow of a
2292 Hottentot to that of a woman in large buckram sleeves, with several
2293 bracelets on each arm, an architectural bonnet, and delicate ribbon
2294 strings, what a long series of gradations! In the enlightened child of
2295 civilization the abandonment characteristic of grief is checked and
2296 varied in the subtlest manner, so as to present an interesting problem
2297 to the analytic mind. If, with a crushed heart and eyes half blinded
2298 by the mist of tears, she were to walk with a too-devious step through
2299 a door-place, she might crush her buckram sleeves too, and the deep
2300 consciousness of this possibility produces a composition of forces by
2301 which she takes a line that just clears the door-post. Perceiving that
2302 the tears are hurrying fast, she unpins her strings and throws them
2303 languidly backward, a touching gesture, indicative, even in the
2304 deepest gloom, of the hope in future dry moments when cap-strings will
2305 once more have a charm. As the tears subside a little, and with her
2306 head leaning backward at the angle that will not injure her bonnet,
2307 she endures that terrible moment when grief, which has made all things
2308 else a weariness, has itself become weary; she looks down pensively at
2309 her bracelets, and adjusts their clasps with that pretty studied
2310 fortuity which would be gratifying to her mind if it were once more in
2311 a calm and healthy state.
2312
2313 Mrs. Pullet brushed each door-post with great nicety, about the
2314 latitude of her shoulders (at that period a woman was truly ridiculous
2315 to an instructed eye if she did not measure a yard and a half across
2316 the shoulders), and having done that sent the muscles of her face in
2317 quest of fresh tears as she advanced into the parlor where Mrs. Glegg
2318 was seated.
2319
2320 "Well, sister, you're late; what's the matter?" said Mrs. Glegg,
2321 rather sharply, as they shook hands.
2322
2323 Mrs. Pullet sat down, lifting up her mantle carefully behind, before
2324 she answered,--
2325
2326 "She's gone," unconsciously using an impressive figure of rhetoric.
2327
2328 "It isn't the glass this time, then," thought Mrs. Tulliver.
2329
2330 "Died the day before yesterday," continued Mrs. Pullet; "an' her legs
2331 was as thick as my body,"' she added, with deep sadness, after a
2332 pause. "They'd tapped her no end o' times, and the water--they say you
2333 might ha' swum in it, if you'd liked."
2334
2335 "Well, Sophy, it's a mercy she's gone, then, whoever she may be," said
2336 Mrs. Glegg, with the promptitude and emphasis of a mind naturally
2337 clear and decided; "but I can't think who you're talking of, for my
2338 part."
2339
2340 "But _I_ know," said Mrs. Pullet, sighing and shaking her head; "and
2341 there isn't another such a dropsy in the parish. _I_ know as it's old
2342 Mrs. Sutton o' the Twentylands."
2343
2344 "Well, she's no kin o' yours, nor much acquaintance as I've ever
2345 heared of," said Mrs. Glegg, who always cried just as much as was
2346 proper when anything happened to her own "kin," but not on other
2347 occasions.
2348
2349 "She's so much acquaintance as I've seen her legs when they was like
2350 bladders. And an old lady as had doubled her money over and over
2351 again, and kept it all in her own management to the last, and had her
2352 pocket with her keys in under her pillow constant. There isn't many
2353 old _par_ish'ners like her, I doubt."
2354
2355 "And they say she'd took as much physic as 'ud fill a wagon," observed
2356 Mr. Pullet.
2357
2358 "Ah!" sighed Mrs. Pullet, "she'd another complaint ever so many years
2359 before she had the dropsy, and the doctors couldn't make out what it
2360 was. And she said to me, when I went to see her last Christmas, she
2361 said, 'Mrs. Pullet, if ever you have the dropsy, you'll think o' me.'
2362 She _did_ say so," added Mrs. Pullet, beginning to cry bitterly again;
2363 "those were her very words. And she's to be buried o' Saturday, and
2364 Pullet's bid to the funeral."
2365
2366 "Sophy," said Mrs. Glegg, unable any longer to contain her spirit of
2367 rational remonstrance,--"Sophy, I wonder _at_ you, fretting and
2368 injuring your health about people as don't belong to you. Your poor
2369 father never did so, nor your aunt Frances neither, nor any o' the
2370 family as I ever heard of. You couldn't fret no more than this, if
2371 we'd heared as our cousin Abbott had died sudden without making his
2372 will."
2373
2374 Mrs. Pullet was silent, having to finish her crying, and rather
2375 flattered than indignant at being upbraided for crying too much. It
2376 was not everybody who could afford to cry so much about their
2377 neighbors who had left them nothing; but Mrs. Pullet had married a
2378 gentleman farmer, and had leisure and money to carry her crying and
2379 everything else to the highest pitch of respectability.
2380
2381 "Mrs. Sutton didn't die without making her will, though," said Mr.
2382 Pullet, with a confused sense that he was saying something to sanction
2383 his wife's tears; "ours is a rich parish, but they say there's nobody
2384 else to leave as many thousands behind 'em as Mrs. Sutton. And she's
2385 left no leggicies to speak on,--left it all in a lump to her husband's
2386 nevvy."
2387
2388 "There wasn't much good i' being so rich, then," said Mrs. Glegg, "if
2389 she'd got none but husband's kin to leave it to. It's poor work when
2390 that's all you've got to pinch yourself for. Not as I'm one o' those
2391 as 'ud like to die without leaving more money out at interest than
2392 other folks had reckoned; but it's a poor tale when it must go out o'
2393 your own family."
2394
2395 "I'm sure, sister," said Mrs. Pullet, who had recovered sufficiently
2396 to take off her veil and fold it carefully, "it's a nice sort o' man
2397 as Mrs. Sutton has left her money to, for he's troubled with the
2398 asthmy, and goes to bed every night at eight o'clock. He told me about
2399 it himself--as free as could be--one Sunday when he came to our
2400 church. He wears a hareskin on his chest, and has a trembling in his
2401 talk,--quite a gentleman sort o' man. I told him there wasn't many
2402 months in the year as I wasn't under the doctor's hands. And he said,
2403 'Mrs. Pullet, I can feel for you.' That was what he said,--the very
2404 words. Ah!" sighed Mrs. Pullet, shaking her head at the idea that
2405 there were but few who could enter fully into her experiences in pink
2406 mixture and white mixture, strong stuff in small bottles, and weak
2407 stuff in large bottles, damp boluses at a shilling, and draughts at
2408 eighteenpence. "Sister, I may as well go and take my bonnet off now.
2409 Did you see as the cap-box was put out?" she added, turning to her
2410 husband.
2411
2412 Mr. Pullet, by an unaccountable lapse of memory, had forgotten it, and
2413 hastened out, with a stricken conscience, to remedy the omission.
2414
2415 "They'll bring it upstairs, sister," said Mrs. Tulliver, wishing to go
2416 at once, lest Mrs. Glegg should begin to explain her feelings about
2417 Sophy's being the first Dodson who ever ruined her constitution with
2418 doctor's stuff.
2419
2420 Mrs. Tulliver was fond of going upstairs with her sister Pullet, and
2421 looking thoroughly at her cap before she put it on her head, and
2422 discussing millinery in general. This was part of Bessy's weakness
2423 that stirred Mrs. Glegg's sisterly compassion: Bessy went far too well
2424 dressed, considering; and she was too proud to dress her child in the
2425 good clothing her sister Glegg gave her from the primeval strata of
2426 her wardrobe; it was a sin and a shame to buy anything to dress that
2427 child, if it wasn't a pair of shoes. In this particular, however, Mrs.
2428 Glegg did her sister Bessy some injustice, for Mrs. Tulliver had
2429 really made great efforts to induce Maggie to wear a leghorn bonnet
2430 and a dyed silk frock made out of her aunt Glegg's, but the results
2431 had been such that Mrs. Tulliver was obliged to bury them in her
2432 maternal bosom; for Maggie, declaring that the frock smelt of nasty
2433 dye, had taken an opportunity of basting it together with the roast
2434 beef the first Sunday she wore it, and finding this scheme answer, she
2435 had subsequently pumped on the bonnet with its green ribbons, so as to
2436 give it a general resemblance to a sage cheese garnished with withered
2437 lettuces. I must urge in excuse for Maggie, that Tom had laughed at
2438 her in the bonnet, and said she looked like an old Judy. Aunt Pullet,
2439 too, made presents of clothes, but these were always pretty enough to
2440 please Maggie as well as her mother. Of all her sisters, Mrs. Tulliver
2441 certainly preferred her sister Pullet, not without a return of
2442 preference; but Mrs. Pullet was sorry Bessy had those naughty, awkward
2443 children; she would do the best she could by them, but it was a pity
2444 they weren't as good and as pretty as sister Deane's child. Maggie and
2445 Tom, on their part, thought their aunt Pullet tolerable, chiefly
2446 because she was not their aunt Glegg. Tom always declined to go more
2447 than once during his holidays to see either of them. Both his uncles
2448 tipped him that once, of course; but at his aunt Pullet's there were a
2449 great many toads to pelt in the cellar-area, so that he preferred the
2450 visit to her. Maggie shuddered at the toads, and dreamed of them
2451 horribly, but she liked her uncle Pullet's musical snuff-box. Still,
2452 it was agreed by the sisters, in Mrs. Tulliver's absence, that the
2453 Tulliver blood did not mix well with the Dodson blood; that, in fact,
2454 poor Bessy's children were Tullivers, and that Tom, notwithstanding he
2455 had the Dodson complexion, was likely to be as "contrairy" as his
2456 father. As for Maggie, she was the picture of her aunt Moss, Mr.
2457 Tulliver's sister,--a large-boned woman, who had married as poorly as
2458 could be; had no china, and had a husband who had much ado to pay his
2459 rent. But when Mrs. Pullet was alone with Mrs. Tulliver upstairs, the
2460 remarks were naturally to the disadvantage of Mrs. Glegg, and they
2461 agreed, in confidence, that there was no knowing what sort of fright
2462 sister Jane would come out next. But their _tête-à-tête_ was curtailed
2463 by the appearance of Mrs. Deane with little Lucy; and Mrs. Tulliver
2464 had to look on with a silent pang while Lucy's blond curls were
2465 adjusted. It was quite unaccountable that Mrs. Deane, the thinnest and
2466 sallowest of all the Miss Dodsons, should have had this child, who
2467 might have been taken for Mrs. Tulliver's any day. And Maggie always
2468 looked twice as dark as usual when she was by the side of Lucy.
2469
2470 She did to-day, when she and Tom came in from the garden with their
2471 father and their uncle Glegg. Maggie had thrown her bonnet off very
2472 carelessly, and coming in with her hair rough as well as out of curl,
2473 rushed at once to Lucy, who was standing by her mother's knee.
2474 Certainly the contrast between the cousins was conspicuous, and to
2475 superficial eyes was very much to the disadvantage of Maggie though a
2476 connoisseur might have seen "points" in her which had a higher promise
2477 for maturity than Lucy's natty completeness. It was like the contrast
2478 between a rough, dark, overgrown puppy and a white kitten. Lucy put up
2479 the neatest little rosebud mouth to be kissed; everything about her
2480 was neat,--her little round neck, with the row of coral beads; her
2481 little straight nose, not at all snubby; her little clear eyebrows,
2482 rather darker than her curls, to match hazel eyes, which looked up
2483 with shy pleasure at Maggie, taller by the head, though scarcely a
2484 year older. Maggie always looked at Lucy with delight.
2485
2486 She was fond of fancying a world where the people never got any larger
2487 than children of their own age, and she made the queen of it just like
2488 Lucy, with a little crown on her head, and a little sceptre in her
2489 hand--only the queen was Maggie herself in Lucy's form.
2490
2491 "Oh, Lucy," she burst out, after kissing her, "you'll stay with Tom
2492 and me, won't you? Oh, kiss her, Tom."
2493
2494 Tom, too, had come up to Lucy, but he was not going to kiss her--no;
2495 he came up to her with Maggie, because it seemed easier, on the whole,
2496 than saying, "How do you do?" to all those aunts and uncles. He stood
2497 looking at nothing in particular, with the blushing, awkward air and
2498 semi-smile which are common to shy boys when in company,--very much as
2499 if they had come into the world by mistake, and found it in a degree
2500 of undress that was quite embarrassing.
2501
2502 "Heyday!" said aunt Glegg, with loud emphasis. "Do little boys and
2503 gells come into a room without taking notice of their uncles and
2504 aunts? That wasn't the way when _I_ was a little gell."
2505
2506 "Go and speak to your aunts and uncles, my dears," said Mrs. Tulliver,
2507 looking anxious and melancholy. She wanted to whisper to Maggie a
2508 command to go and have her hair brushed.
2509
2510 "Well, and how do you do? And I hope you're good children, are you?"
2511 said Aunt Glegg, in the same loud, emphatic way, as she took their
2512 hands, hurting them with her large rings, and kissing their cheeks
2513 much against their desire. "Look up, Tom, look up. Boys as go to
2514 boarding-schools should hold their heads up. Look at me now." Tom
2515 declined that pleasure apparently, for he tried to draw his hand away.
2516 "Put your hair behind your ears, Maggie, and keep your frock on your
2517 shoulder."
2518
2519 Aunt Glegg always spoke to them in this loud, emphatic way, as if she
2520 considered them deaf, or perhaps rather idiotic; it was a means, she
2521 thought, of making them feel that they were accountable creatures, and
2522 might be a salutary check on naughty tendencies. Bessy's children were
2523 so spoiled--they'd need have somebody to make them feel their duty.
2524
2525 "Well, my dears," said aunt Pullet, in a compassionate voice, "you
2526 grow wonderful fast. I doubt they'll outgrow their strength," she
2527 added, looking over their heads, with a melancholy expression, at
2528 their mother. "I think the gell has too much hair. I'd have it thinned
2529 and cut shorter, sister, if I was you; it isn't good for her health.
2530 It's that as makes her skin so brown, I shouldn't wonder. Don't you
2531 think so, sister Deane?"
2532
2533 "I can't say, I'm sure, sister," said Mrs. Deane, shutting her lips
2534 close again, and looking at Maggie with a critical eye.
2535
2536 "No, no," said Mr. Tulliver, "the child's healthy enough; there's
2537 nothing ails her. There's red wheat as well as white, for that matter,
2538 and some like the dark grain best. But it 'ud be as well if Bessy 'ud
2539 have the child's hair cut, so as it 'ud lie smooth."
2540
2541 A dreadful resolve was gathering in Maggie's breast, but it was
2542 arrested by the desire to know from her aunt Deane whether she would
2543 leave Lucy behind. Aunt Deane would hardly ever let Lucy come to see
2544 them. After various reasons for refusal, Mrs. Deane appealed to Lucy
2545 herself.
2546
2547 "You wouldn't like to stay behind without mother, should you, Lucy?"
2548
2549 "Yes, please, mother," said Lucy, timidly, blushing very pink all over
2550 her little neck.
2551
2552 "Well done, Lucy! Let her stay, Mrs. Deane, let her stay," said Mr.
2553 Deane, a large but alert-looking man, with a type of _physique_ to be
2554 seen in all ranks of English society,--bald crown, red whiskers, full
2555 forehead, and general solidity without heaviness. You may see noblemen
2556 like Mr. Deane, and you may see grocers or day-laborers like him; but
2557 the keenness of his brown eyes was less common than his contour.
2558
2559 He held a silver snuff-box very tightly in his hand, and now and then
2560 exchanged a pinch with Mr. Tulliver, whose box was only
2561 silver-mounted, so that it was naturally a joke between them that Mr.
2562 Tulliver wanted to exchange snuff-boxes also. Mr. Deane's box had been
2563 given him by the superior partners in the firm to which he belonged,
2564 at the same time that they gave him a share in the business, in
2565 acknowledgment of his valuable services as manager. No man was thought
2566 more highly of in St. Ogg's than Mr. Deane; and some persons were even
2567 of opinion that Miss Susan Dodson, who was once held to have made the
2568 worst match of all the Dodson sisters, might one day ride in a better
2569 carriage, and live in a better house, even than her sister Pullet.
2570 There was no knowing where a man would stop, who had got his foot into
2571 a great mill-owning, shipowning business like that of Guest & Co.,
2572 with a banking concern attached. And Mrs. Deane, as her intimate
2573 female friends observed, was proud and "having" enough; _she_ wouldn't
2574 let her husband stand still in the world for want of spurring.
2575
2576 "Maggie," said Mrs. Tulliver, beckoning Maggie to her, and whispering
2577 in her ear, as soon as this point of Lucy's staying was settled, "go
2578 and get your hair brushed, do, for shame. I told you not to come in
2579 without going to Martha first, you know I did."
2580
2581 "Tom come out with me," whispered Maggie, pulling his sleeve as she
2582 passed him; and Tom followed willingly enough.
2583
2584 "Come upstairs with me, Tom," she whispered, when they were outside
2585 the door. "There's something I want to do before dinner."
2586
2587 "There's no time to play at anything before dinner," said Tom, whose
2588 imagination was impatient of any intermediate prospect.
2589
2590 "Oh yes, there is time for this; _do_ come, Tom."
2591
2592 Tom followed Maggie upstairs into her mother's room, and saw her go at
2593 once to a drawer, from which she took out a large pair of scissors.
2594
2595 "What are they for, Maggie?" said Tom, feeling his curiosity awakened.
2596
2597 Maggie answered by seizing her front locks and cutting them straight
2598 across the middle of her forehead.
2599
2600 "Oh, my buttons! Maggie, you'll catch it!" exclaimed Tom; "you'd
2601 better not cut any more off."
2602
2603 Snip! went the great scissors again while Tom was speaking, and he
2604 couldn't help feeling it was rather good fun; Maggie would look so
2605 queer.
2606
2607 "Here, Tom, cut it behind for me," said Maggie, excited by her own
2608 daring, and anxious to finish the deed.
2609
2610 "You'll catch it, you know," said Tom, nodding his head in an
2611 admonitory manner, and hesitating a little as he took the scissors.
2612
2613 "Never mind, make haste!" said Maggie, giving a little stamp with her
2614 foot. Her cheeks were quite flushed.
2615
2616 The black locks were so thick, nothing could be more tempting to a lad
2617 who had already tasted the forbidden pleasure of cutting the pony's
2618 mane. I speak to those who know the satisfaction of making a pair of
2619 scissors meet through a duly resisting mass of hair. One delicious
2620 grinding snip, and then another and another, and the hinder-locks fell
2621 heavily on the floor, and Maggie stood cropped in a jagged, uneven
2622 manner, but with a sense of clearness and freedom, as if she had
2623 emerged from a wood into the open plain.
2624
2625 "Oh, Maggie," said Tom, jumping round her, and slapping his knees as
2626 he laughed, "Oh, my buttons! what a queer thing you look! Look at
2627 yourself in the glass; you look like the idiot we throw out nutshells
2628 to at school."
2629
2630 Maggie felt an unexpected pang. She had thought beforehand chiefly at
2631 her own deliverance from her teasing hair and teasing remarks about
2632 it, and something also of the triumph she should have over her mother
2633 and her aunts by this very decided course of action; she didn't want
2634 her hair to look pretty,--that was out of the question,--she only
2635 wanted people to think her a clever little girl, and not to find fault
2636 with her. But now, when Tom began to laugh at her, and say she was
2637 like an idiot, the affair had quite a new aspect. She looked in the
2638 glass, and still Tom laughed and clapped his hands, and Maggie's
2639 cheeks began to pale, and her lips to tremble a little.
2640
2641 "Oh, Maggie, you'll have to go down to dinner directly," said Tom.
2642 "Oh, my!"
2643
2644 "Don't laugh at me, Tom," said Maggie, in a passionate tone, with an
2645 outburst of angry tears, stamping, and giving him a push.
2646
2647 "Now, then, spitfire!" said Tom. "What did you cut it off for, then? I
2648 shall go down: I can smell the dinner going in."
2649
2650 He hurried downstairs and left poor Maggie to that bitter sense of the
2651 irrevocable which was almost an every-day experience of her small
2652 soul. She could see clearly enough, now the thing was done, that it
2653 was very foolish, and that she should have to hear and think more
2654 about her hair than ever; for Maggie rushed to her deeds with
2655 passionate impulse, and then saw not only their consequences, but what
2656 would have happened if they had not been done, with all the detail and
2657 exaggerated circumstance of an active imagination. Tom never did the
2658 same sort of foolish things as Maggie, having a wonderful instinctive
2659 discernment of what would turn to his advantage or disadvantage; and
2660 so it happened, that though he was much more wilful and inflexible
2661 than Maggie, his mother hardly ever called him naughty. But if Tom did
2662 make a mistake of that sort, he espoused it, and stood by it: he
2663 "didn't mind." If he broke the lash of his father's gigwhip by lashing
2664 the gate, he couldn't help it,--the whip shouldn't have got caught in
2665 the hinge. If Tom Tulliver whipped a gate, he was convinced, not that
2666 the whipping of gates by all boys was a justifiable act, but that he,
2667 Tom Tulliver, was justifiable in whipping that particular gate, and he
2668 wasn't going to be sorry. But Maggie, as she stood crying before the
2669 glass, felt it impossible that she should go down to dinner and endure
2670 the severe eyes and severe words of her aunts, while Tom and Lucy, and
2671 Martha, who waited at table, and perhaps her father and her uncles,
2672 would laugh at her; for if Tom had laughed at her, of course every one
2673 else would; and if she had only let her hair alone, she could have sat
2674 with Tom and Lucy, and had the apricot pudding and the custard! What
2675 could she do but sob? She sat as helpless and despairing among her
2676 black locks as Ajax among the slaughtered sheep. Very trivial,
2677 perhaps, this anguish seems to weather-worn mortals who have to think
2678 of Christmas bills, dead loves, and broken friendships; but it was not
2679 less bitter to Maggie--perhaps it was even more bitter--than what we
2680 are fond of calling antithetically the real troubles of mature life.
2681 "Ah, my child, you will have real troubles to fret about by and by,"
2682 is the consolation we have almost all of us had administered to us in
2683 our childhood, and have repeated to other children since we have been
2684 grown up. We have all of us sobbed so piteously, standing with tiny
2685 bare legs above our little socks, when we lost sight of our mother or
2686 nurse in some strange place; but we can no longer recall the poignancy
2687 of that moment and weep over it, as we do over the remembered
2688 sufferings of five or ten years ago. Every one of those keen moments
2689 has left its trace, and lives in us still, but such traces have blent
2690 themselves irrecoverably with the firmer texture of our youth and
2691 manhood; and so it comes that we can look on at the troubles of our
2692 children with a smiling disbelief in the reality of their pain. Is
2693 there any one who can recover the experience of his childhood, not
2694 merely with a memory _of_ what he did and what happened to him, of
2695 what he liked and disliked when he was in frock and trousers, but with
2696 an intimate penetration, a revived consciousness of what he felt then,
2697 when it was so long from one Midsummer to another; what he felt when
2698 his school fellows shut him out of their game because he would pitch
2699 the ball wrong out of mere wilfulness; or on a rainy day in the
2700 holidays, when he didn't know how to amuse himself, and fell from
2701 idleness into mischief, from mischief into defiance, and from defiance
2702 into sulkiness; or when his mother absolutely refused to let him have
2703 a tailed coat that "half," although every other boy of his age had
2704 gone into tails already? Surely if we could recall that early
2705 bitterness, and the dim guesses, the strangely perspectiveless
2706 conception of life, that gave the bitterness its intensity, we should
2707 not pooh-pooh the griefs of our children.
2708
2709 "Miss Maggie, you're to come down this minute," said Kezia, entering
2710 the room hurriedly. "Lawks! what have you been a-doing? I never _see_
2711 such a fright!"
2712
2713 "Don't, Kezia," said Maggie, angrily. "Go away!"
2714
2715 "But I tell you you're to come down, Miss, this minute; your mother
2716 says so," said Kezia, going up to Maggie and taking her by the hand to
2717 raise her from the floor.
2718
2719 "Get away, Kezia; I don't want any dinner," said Maggie, resisting
2720 Kezia's arm. "I sha'n't come."
2721
2722 "Oh, well, I can't stay. I've got to wait at dinner," said Kezia,
2723 going out again.
2724
2725 "Maggie, you little silly," said Tom, peeping into the room ten
2726 minutes after, "why don't you come and have your dinner? There's lots
2727 o' goodies, and mother says you're to come. What are you crying for,
2728 you little spooney?"
2729
2730 Oh, it was dreadful! Tom was so hard and unconcerned; if _he_ had been
2731 crying on the floor, Maggie would have cried too. And there was the
2732 dinner, so nice; and she was _so_ hungry. It was very bitter.
2733
2734 But Tom was not altogether hard. He was not inclined to cry, and did
2735 not feel that Maggie's grief spoiled his prospect of the sweets; but
2736 he went and put his head near her, and said in a lower, comforting
2737 tone,--
2738
2739 "Won't you come, then, Magsie? Shall I bring you a bit o' pudding when
2740 I've had mine, and a custard and things?"
2741
2742 "Ye-e-es," said Maggie, beginning to feel life a little more
2743 tolerable.
2744
2745 "Very well," said Tom, going away. But he turned again at the door and
2746 said, "But you'd better come, you know. There's the dessert,--nuts,
2747 you know, and cowslip wine."
2748
2749 Maggie's tears had ceased, and she looked reflective as Tom left her.
2750 His good nature had taken off the keenest edge of her suffering, and
2751 nuts with cowslip wine began to assert their legitimate influence.
2752
2753 Slowly she rose from amongst her scattered locks, and slowly she made
2754 her way downstairs. Then she stood leaning with one shoulder against
2755 the frame of the dining-parlour door, peeping in when it was ajar. She
2756 saw Tom and Lucy with an empty chair between them, and there were the
2757 custards on a side-table; it was too much. She slipped in and went
2758 toward the empty chair. But she had no sooner sat down than she
2759 repented and wished herself back again.
2760
2761 Mrs. Tulliver gave a little scream as she saw her, and felt such a
2762 "turn" that she dropped the large gravy-spoon into the dish, with the
2763 most serious results to the table-cloth. For Kezia had not betrayed
2764 the reason of Maggie's refusal to come down, not liking to give her
2765 mistress a shock in the moment of carving, and Mrs. Tulliver thought
2766 there was nothing worse in question than a fit of perverseness, which
2767 was inflicting its own punishment by depriving Maggie of half her
2768 dinner.
2769
2770 Mrs. Tulliver's scream made all eyes turn towards the same point as
2771 her own, and Maggie's cheeks and ears began to burn, while uncle
2772 Glegg, a kind-looking, white-haired old gentleman, said,--
2773
2774 "Heyday! what little gell's this? Why, I don't know her. Is it some
2775 little gell you've picked up in the road, Kezia?"
2776
2777 "Why, she's gone and cut her hair herself," said Mr. Tulliver in an
2778 undertone to Mr. Deane, laughing with much enjoyment. Did you ever
2779 know such a little hussy as it is?"
2780
2781 "Why, little miss, you've made yourself look very funny," said Uncle
2782 Pullet, and perhaps he never in his life made an observation which was
2783 felt to be so lacerating.
2784
2785 "Fie, for shame!" said aunt Glegg, in her loudest, severest tone of
2786 reproof. "Little gells as cut their own hair should be whipped and fed
2787 on bread and water,--not come and sit down with their aunts and
2788 uncles."
2789
2790 "Ay, ay," said uncle Glegg, meaning to give a playful turn to this
2791 denunciation, "she must be sent to jail, I think, and they'll cut the
2792 rest of her hair off there, and make it all even."
2793
2794 "She's more like a gypsy nor ever," said aunt Pullet, in a pitying
2795 tone; "it's very bad luck, sister, as the gell should be so brown; the
2796 boy's fair enough. I doubt it'll stand in her way i' life to be so
2797 brown."
2798
2799 "She's a naughty child, as'll break her mother's heart," said Mrs.
2800 Tulliver, with the tears in her eyes.
2801
2802 Maggie seemed to be listening to a chorus of reproach and derision.
2803 Her first flush came from anger, which gave her a transient power of
2804 defiance, and Tom thought she was braving it out, supported by the
2805 recent appearance of the pudding and custard. Under this impression,
2806 he whispered, "Oh, my! Maggie, I told you you'd catch it." He meant to
2807 be friendly, but Maggie felt convinced that Tom was rejoicing in her
2808 ignominy. Her feeble power of defiance left her in an instant, her
2809 heart swelled, and getting up from her chair, she ran to her father,
2810 hid her face on his shoulder, and burst out into loud sobbing.
2811
2812 "Come, come, my wench," said her father, soothingly, putting his arm
2813 round her, "never mind; you was i' the right to cut it off if it
2814 plagued you; give over crying; father'll take your part."
2815
2816 Delicious words of tenderness! Maggie never forgot any of these
2817 moments when her father "took her part"; she kept them in her heart,
2818 and thought of them long years after, when every one else said that
2819 her father had done very ill by his children.
2820
2821 "How your husband does spoil that child, Bessy!" said Mrs. Glegg, in a
2822 loud "aside," to Mrs. Tulliver. "It'll be the ruin of her, if you
2823 don't take care. _My_ father never brought his children up so, else we
2824 should ha' been a different sort o' family to what we are."
2825
2826 Mrs. Tulliver's domestic sorrows seemed at this moment to have reached
2827 the point at which insensibility begins. She took no notice of her
2828 sister's remark, but threw back her capstrings and dispensed the
2829 pudding, in mute resignation.
2830
2831 With the dessert there came entire deliverance for Maggie, for the
2832 children were told they might have their nuts and wine in the
2833 summer-house, since the day was so mild; and they scampered out among
2834 the budding bushes of the garden with the alacrity of small animals
2835 getting from under a burning glass.
2836
2837 Mrs. Tulliver had her special reason for this permission: now the
2838 dinner was despatched, and every one's mind disengaged, it was the
2839 right moment to communicate Mr. Tulliver's intention concerning Tom,
2840 and it would be as well for Tom himself to be absent. The children
2841 were used to hear themselves talked of as freely as if they were
2842 birds, and could understand nothing, however they might stretch their
2843 necks and listen; but on this occasion Mrs. Tulliver manifested an
2844 unusual discretion, because she had recently had evidence that the
2845 going to school to a clergyman was a sore point with Tom, who looked
2846 at it as very much on a par with going to school to a constable. Mrs.
2847 Tulliver had a sighing sense that her husband would do as he liked,
2848 whatever sister Glegg said, or sister Pullet either; but at least they
2849 would not be able to say, if the thing turned out ill, that Bessy had
2850 fallen in with her husband's folly without letting her own friends
2851 know a word about it.
2852
2853 "Mr. Tulliver," she said, interrupting her husband in his talk with
2854 Mr. Deane, "it's time now to tell the children's aunts and uncles what
2855 you're thinking of doing with Tom, isn't it?"
2856
2857 "Very well," said Mr. Tulliver, rather sharply, "I've no objections to
2858 tell anybody what I mean to do with him. I've settled," he added,
2859 looking toward Mr. Glegg and Mr. Deane,--"I've settled to send him to
2860 a Mr. Stelling, a parson, down at King's Lorton, there,--an uncommon
2861 clever fellow, I understand, as'll put him up to most things."
2862
2863 There was a rustling demonstration of surprise in the company, such as
2864 you may have observed in a country congregation when they hear an
2865 allusion to their week-day affairs from the pulpit. It was equally
2866 astonishing to the aunts and uncles to find a parson introduced into
2867 Mr. Tulliver's family arrangements. As for uncle Pullet, he could
2868 hardly have been more thoroughly obfuscated if Mr. Tulliver had said
2869 that he was going to send Tom to the Lord Chancellor; for uncle Pullet
2870 belonged to that extinct class of British yeoman who, dressed in good
2871 broadcloth, paid high rates and taxes, went to church, and ate a
2872 particularly good dinner on Sunday, without dreaming that the British
2873 constitution in Church and State had a traceable origin any more than
2874 the solar system and the fixed stars.
2875
2876 It is melancholy, but true, that Mr. Pullet had the most confused idea
2877 of a bishop as a sort of a baronet, who might or might not be a
2878 clergyman; and as the rector of his own parish was a man of high
2879 family and fortune, the idea that a clergyman could be a schoolmaster
2880 was too remote from Mr. Pullet's experience to be readily conceivable.
2881 I know it is difficult for people in these instructed times to believe
2882 in uncle Pullet's ignorance; but let them reflect on the remarkable
2883 results of a great natural faculty under favoring circumstances. And
2884 uncle Pullet had a great natural faculty for ignorance. He was the
2885 first to give utterance to his astonishment.
2886
2887 "Why, what can you be going to send him to a parson for?" he said,
2888 with an amazed twinkling in his eyes, looking at Mr. Glegg and Mr.
2889 Deane, to see if they showed any signs of comprehension.
2890
2891 "Why, because the parsons are the best schoolmasters, by what I can
2892 make out," said poor Mr. Tulliver, who, in the maze of this puzzling
2893 world, laid hold of any clue with great readiness and tenacity.
2894 "Jacobs at th' academy's no parson, and he's done very bad by the boy;
2895 and I made up my mind, if I send him to school again, it should be to
2896 somebody different to Jacobs. And this Mr. Stelling, by what I can
2897 make out, is the sort o' man I want. And I mean my boy to go to him at
2898 Midsummer," he concluded, in a tone of decision, tapping his snuff-box
2899 and taking a pinch.
2900
2901 "You'll have to pay a swinging half-yearly bill, then, eh, Tulliver?
2902 The clergymen have highish notions, in general," said Mr. Deane,
2903 taking snuff vigorously, as he always did when wishing to maintain a
2904 neutral position.
2905
2906 "What! do you think the parson'll teach him to know a good sample o'
2907 wheat when he sees it, neighbor Tulliver?" said Mr. Glegg, who was
2908 fond of his jest, and having retired from business, felt that it was
2909 not only allowable but becoming in him to take a playful view of
2910 things.
2911
2912 "Why, you see, I've got a plan i' my head about Tom," said Mr.
2913 Tulliver, pausing after that statement and lifting up his glass.
2914
2915 "Well, if I may be allowed to speak, and it's seldom as I am," said
2916 Mrs. Glegg, with a tone of bitter meaning, "I should like to know what
2917 good is to come to the boy by bringin' him up above his fortin."
2918
2919 "Why," said Mr. Tulliver, not looking at Mrs. Glegg, but at the male
2920 part of his audience, "you see, I've made up my mind not to bring Tom
2921 up to my own business. I've had my thoughts about it all along, and I
2922 made up my mind by what I saw with Garnett and _his_ son. I mean to
2923 put him to some business as he can go into without capital, and I want
2924 to give him an eddication as he'll be even wi' the lawyers and folks,
2925 and put me up to a notion now an' then."
2926
2927 Mrs. Glegg emitted a long sort of guttural sound with closed lips,
2928 that smiled in mingled pity and scorn.
2929
2930 "It 'ud be a fine deal better for some people," she said, after that
2931 introductory note, "if they'd let the lawyers alone."
2932
2933 "Is he at the head of a grammar school, then, this clergyman, such as
2934 that at Market Bewley?" said Mr. Deane.
2935
2936 "No, nothing of that," said Mr. Tulliver. "He won't take more than two
2937 or three pupils, and so he'll have the more time to attend to 'em, you
2938 know."
2939
2940 "Ah, and get his eddication done the sooner; they can't learn much at
2941 a time when there's so many of 'em," said uncle Pullet, feeling that
2942 he was getting quite an insight into this difficult matter.
2943
2944 "But he'll want the more pay, I doubt," said Mr. Glegg.
2945
2946 "Ay, ay, a cool hundred a year, that's all," said Mr. Tulliver, with
2947 some pride at his own spirited course. "But then, you know, it's an
2948 investment; Tom's eddication 'ull be so much capital to him."
2949
2950 "Ay, there's something in that," said Mr. Glegg. "Well well, neighbor
2951 Tulliver, you may be right, you may be right:
2952
2953 'When land is gone and money's spent,
2954 Then learning is most excellent.'
2955
2956 "I remember seeing those two lines wrote on a window at Buxton. But us
2957 that have got no learning had better keep our money, eh, neighbor
2958 Pullet?" Mr. Glegg rubbed his knees, and looked very pleasant.
2959
2960 "Mr. Glegg, I wonder _at_ you," said his wife. "It's very unbecoming
2961 in a man o' your age and belongings."
2962
2963 "What's unbecoming, Mrs. G.?" said Mr. Glegg, winking pleasantly at
2964 the company. "My new blue coat as I've got on?"
2965
2966 "I pity your weakness, Mr. Glegg. I say it's unbecoming to be making a
2967 joke when you see your own kin going headlongs to ruin."
2968
2969 "If you mean me by that," said Mr. Tulliver, considerably nettled,
2970 "you needn't trouble yourself to fret about me. I can manage my own
2971 affairs without troubling other folks."
2972
2973 "Bless me!" said Mr. Deane, judiciously introducing a new idea, "why,
2974 now I come to think of it, somebody said Wakem was going to send _his_
2975 son--the deformed lad--to a clergyman, didn't they, Susan?" (appealing
2976 to his wife).
2977
2978 "I can give no account of it, I'm sure," said Mrs. Deane, closing her
2979 lips very tightly again. Mrs. Deane was not a woman to take part in a
2980 scene where missiles were flying.
2981
2982 "Well," said Mr. Tulliver, speaking all the more cheerfully, that Mrs.
2983 Glegg might see he didn't mind her, "if Wakem thinks o' sending his
2984 son to a clergyman, depend on it I shall make no mistake i' sending
2985 Tom to one. Wakem's as big a scoundrel as Old Harry ever made, but he
2986 knows the length of every man's foot he's got to deal with. Ay, ay,
2987 tell me who's Wakem's butcher, and I'll tell you where to get your
2988 meat."
2989
2990 "But lawyer Wakem's son's got a hump-back," said Mrs. Pullet, who felt
2991 as if the whole business had a funereal aspect; "it's more nat'ral to
2992 send _him_ to a clergyman."
2993
2994 "Yes," said Mr. Glegg, interpreting Mrs. Pullet's observation with
2995 erroneous plausibility, "you must consider that, neighbor Tulliver;
2996 Wakem's son isn't likely to follow any business. Wakem 'ull make a
2997 gentleman of him, poor fellow."
2998
2999 "Mr. Glegg," said Mrs. G., in a tone which implied that her
3000 indignation would fizz and ooze a little, though she was determined to
3001 keep it corked up, "you'd far better hold your tongue. Mr. Tulliver
3002 doesn't want to know your opinion nor mine either. There's folks in
3003 the world as know better than everybody else."
3004
3005 "Why, I should think that's you, if we're to trust your own tale,"
3006 said Mr. Tulliver, beginning to boil up again.
3007
3008 "Oh, _I_ say nothing," said Mrs. Glegg, sarcastically. "My advice has
3009 never been asked, and I don't give it."
3010
3011 "It'll be the first time, then," said Mr. Tulliver. "It's the only
3012 thing you're over-ready at giving."
3013
3014 "I've been over-ready at lending, then, if I haven't been over-ready
3015 at giving," said Mrs. Glegg. "There's folks I've lent money to, as
3016 perhaps I shall repent o' lending money to kin."
3017
3018 "Come, come, come," said Mr. Glegg, soothingly. But Mr. Tulliver was
3019 not to be hindered of his retort.
3020
3021 "You've got a bond for it, I reckon," he said; "and you've had your
3022 five per cent, kin or no kin."
3023
3024 "Sister," said Mrs. Tulliver, pleadingly, "drink your wine, and let me
3025 give you some almonds and raisins."
3026
3027 "Bessy, I'm sorry for you," said Mrs. Glegg, very much with the
3028 feeling of a cur that seizes the opportunity of diverting his bark
3029 toward the man who carries no stick. "It's poor work talking o'
3030 almonds and raisins."
3031
3032 "Lors, sister Glegg, don't be so quarrelsome," said Mrs. Pullet,
3033 beginning to cry a little. "You may be struck with a fit, getting so
3034 red in the face after dinner, and we are but just out o' mourning, all
3035 of us,--and all wi' gowns craped alike and just put by; it's very bad
3036 among sisters."
3037
3038 "I should think it _is_ bad," said Mrs. Glegg. "Things are come to a
3039 fine pass when one sister invites the other to her house o' purpose to
3040 quarrel with her and abuse her."
3041
3042 "Softly, softly, Jane; be reasonable, be reasonable," said Mr. Glegg.
3043
3044 But while he was speaking, Mr. Tulliver, who had by no means said
3045 enough to satisfy his anger, burst out again.
3046
3047 "Who wants to quarrel with you?" he said. "It's you as can't let
3048 people alone, but must be gnawing at 'em forever. _I_ should never
3049 want to quarrel with any woman if she kept her place."
3050
3051 "My place, indeed!" said Mrs. Glegg, getting rather more shrill.
3052 "There's your betters, Mr. Tulliver, as are dead and in their grave,
3053 treated me with a different sort o' respect to what you do; _though_
3054 I've got a husband as'll sit by and see me abused by them as 'ud never
3055 ha' had the chance if there hadn't been them in our family as married
3056 worse than they might ha' done."
3057
3058 "If you talk o' that," said Mr. Tulliver, "my family's as good as
3059 yours, and better, for it hasn't got a damned ill-tempered woman in
3060 it!"
3061
3062 "Well," said Mrs. Glegg, rising from her chair, "I don't know whether
3063 you think it's a fine thing to sit by and hear me swore at, Mr. Glegg;
3064 but I'm not going to stay a minute longer in this house. You can stay
3065 behind, and come home with the gig, and I'll walk home."
3066
3067 "Dear heart, dear heart!" said Mr. Glegg in a melancholy tone, as he
3068 followed his wife out of the room.
3069
3070 "Mr. Tulliver, how could you talk so?" said Mrs. Tulliver, with the
3071 tears in her eyes.
3072
3073 "Let her go," said Mr. Tulliver, too hot to be damped by any amount of
3074 tears. "Let her go, and the sooner the better; she won't be trying to
3075 domineer over _me_ again in a hurry."
3076
3077 "Sister Pullet," said Mrs. Tulliver, helplessly, "do you think it 'ud
3078 be any use for you to go after her and try to pacify her?"
3079
3080 "Better not, better not," said Mr. Deane. "You'll make it up another
3081 day."
3082
3083 "Then, sisters, shall we go and look at the children?" said Mrs.
3084 Tulliver, drying her eyes.
3085
3086 No proposition could have been more seasonable. Mr. Tulliver felt very
3087 much as if the air had been cleared of obtrusive flies now the women
3088 were out of the room. There were few things he liked better than a
3089 chat with Mr. Deane, whose close application to business allowed the
3090 pleasure very rarely. Mr. Deane, he considered, was the "knowingest"
3091 man of his acquaintance, and he had besides a ready causticity of
3092 tongue that made an agreeable supplement to Mr. Tulliver's own
3093 tendency that way, which had remained in rather an inarticulate
3094 condition. And now the women were gone, they could carry on their
3095 serious talk without frivolous interruption. They could exchange their
3096 views concerning the Duke of Wellington, whose conduct in the Catholic
3097 Question had thrown such an entirely new light on his character; and
3098 speak slightingly of his conduct at the battle of Waterloo, which he
3099 would never have won if there hadn't been a great many Englishmen at
3100 his back, not to speak of Blucher and the Prussians, who, as Mr.
3101 Tulliver had heard from a person of particular knowledge in that
3102 matter, had come up in the very nick of time; though here there was a
3103 slight dissidence, Mr. Deane remarking that he was not disposed to
3104 give much credit to the Prussians,--the build of their vessels,
3105 together with the unsatisfactory character of transactions in Dantzic
3106 beer, inclining him to form rather a low view of Prussian pluck
3107 generally. Rather beaten on this ground, Mr. Tulliver proceeded to
3108 express his fears that the country could never again be what it used
3109 to be; but Mr. Deane, attached to a firm of which the returns were on
3110 the increase, naturally took a more lively view of the present, and
3111 had some details to give concerning the state of the imports,
3112 especially in hides and spelter, which soothed Mr. Tulliver's
3113 imagination by throwing into more distant perspective the period when
3114 the country would become utterly the prey of Papists and Radicals, and
3115 there would be no more chance for honest men.
3116
3117 Uncle Pullet sat by and listened with twinkling eyes to these high
3118 matters. He didn't understand politics himself,--thought they were a
3119 natural gift,--but by what he could make out, this Duke of Wellington
3120 was no better than he should be.
3121
3122
3123
3124 Chapter VIII
3125
3126 Mr. Tulliver Shows His Weaker Side
3127
3128
3129 "Suppose sister Glegg should call her money in; it 'ud be very awkward
3130 for you to have to raise five hundred pounds now," said Mrs. Tulliver
3131 to her husband that evening, as she took a plaintive review of the
3132 day.
3133
3134 Mrs. Tulliver had lived thirteen years with her husband, yet she
3135 retained in all the freshness of her early married life a facility of
3136 saying things which drove him in the opposite direction to the one she
3137 desired. Some minds are wonderful for keeping their bloom in this way,
3138 as a patriarchal goldfish apparently retains to the last its youthful
3139 illusion that it can swim in a straight line beyond the encircling
3140 glass. Mrs. Tulliver was an amiable fish of this kind, and after
3141 running her head against the same resisting medium for thirteen years
3142 would go at it again to-day with undulled alacrity.
3143
3144 This observation of hers tended directly to convince Mr. Tulliver that
3145 it would not be at all awkward for him to raise five hundred pounds;
3146 and when Mrs. Tulliver became rather pressing to know _how_ he would
3147 raise it without mortgaging the mill and the house which he had said
3148 he never _would_ mortgage, since nowadays people were none so ready to
3149 lend money without security, Mr. Tulliver, getting warm, declared that
3150 Mrs. Glegg might do as she liked about calling in her money, he should
3151 pay it in whether or not. He was not going to be beholden to his
3152 wife's sisters. When a man had married into a family where there was a
3153 whole litter of women, he might have plenty to put up with if he
3154 chose. But Mr. Tulliver did _not_ choose.
3155
3156 Mrs. Tulliver cried a little in a trickling, quiet way as she put on
3157 her nightcap; but presently sank into a comfortable sleep, lulled by
3158 the thought that she would talk everything over with her sister Pullet
3159 to-morrow, when she was to take the children to Garum Firs to tea. Not
3160 that she looked forward to any distinct issue from that talk; but it
3161 seemed impossible that past events should be so obstinate as to remain
3162 unmodified when they were complained against.
3163
3164 Her husband lay awake rather longer, for he too was thinking of a
3165 visit he would pay on the morrow; and his ideas on the subject were
3166 not of so vague and soothing a kind as those of his amiable partner.
3167
3168 Mr. Tulliver, when under the influence of a strong feeling, had a
3169 promptitude in action that may seem inconsistent with that painful
3170 sense of the complicated, puzzling nature of human affairs under which
3171 his more dispassionate deliberations were conducted; but it is really
3172 not improbable that there was a direct relation between these
3173 apparently contradictory phenomena, since I have observed that for
3174 getting a strong impression that a skein is tangled there is nothing
3175 like snatching hastily at a single thread. It was owing to this
3176 promptitude that Mr. Tulliver was on horseback soon after dinner the
3177 next day (he was not dyspeptic) on his way to Basset to see his sister
3178 Moss and her husband. For having made up his mind irrevocably that he
3179 would pay Mrs. Glegg her loan of five hundred pounds, it naturally
3180 occurred to him that he had a promissory note for three hundred pounds
3181 lent to his brother-in-law Moss; and if the said brother-in-law could
3182 manage to pay in the money within a given time, it would go far to
3183 lessen the fallacious air of inconvenience which Mr. Tulliver's
3184 spirited step might have worn in the eyes of weak people who require
3185 to know precisely _how_ a thing is to be done before they are strongly
3186 confident that it will be easy.
3187
3188 For Mr. Tulliver was in a position neither new nor striking, but, like
3189 other every-day things, sure to have a cumulative effect that will be
3190 felt in the long run: he was held to be a much more substantial man
3191 than he really was. And as we are all apt to believe what the world
3192 believes about us, it was his habit to think of failure and ruin with
3193 the same sort of remote pity with which a spare, long-necked man hears
3194 that his plethoric short-necked neighbor is stricken with apoplexy. He
3195 had been always used to hear pleasant jokes about his advantages as a
3196 man who worked his own mill, and owned a pretty bit of land; and these
3197 jokes naturally kept up his sense that he was a man of considerable
3198 substance. They gave a pleasant flavor to his glass on a market-day,
3199 and if it had not been for the recurrence of half-yearly payments, Mr.
3200 Tulliver would really have forgotten that there was a mortgage of two
3201 thousand pounds on his very desirable freehold. That was not
3202 altogether his own fault, since one of the thousand pounds was his
3203 sister's fortune, which he had to pay on her marriage; and a man who
3204 has neighbors that _will_ go to law with him is not likely to pay off
3205 his mortgages, especially if he enjoys the good opinion of
3206 acquaintances who want to borrow a hundred pounds on security too
3207 lofty to be represented by parchment. Our friend Mr. Tulliver had a
3208 good-natured fibre in him, and did not like to give harsh refusals
3209 even to his sister, who had not only come in to the world in that
3210 superfluous way characteristic of sisters, creating a necessity for
3211 mortgages, but had quite thrown herself away in marriage, and had
3212 crowned her mistakes by having an eighth baby. On this point Mr.
3213 Tulliver was conscious of being a little weak; but he apologized to
3214 himself by saying that poor Gritty had been a good-looking wench
3215 before she married Moss; he would sometimes say this even with a
3216 slight tremulousness in his voice. But this morning he was in a mood
3217 more becoming a man of business, and in the course of his ride along
3218 the Basset lanes, with their deep ruts,--lying so far away from a
3219 market-town that the labor of drawing produce and manure was enough to
3220 take away the best part of the profits on such poor land as that
3221 parish was made of,--he got up a due amount of irritation against Moss
3222 as a man without capital, who, if murrain and blight were abroad, was
3223 sure to have his share of them, and who, the more you tried to help
3224 him out of the mud, would sink the further in. It would do him good
3225 rather than harm, now, if he were obliged to raise this three hundred
3226 pounds; it would make him look about him better, and not act so
3227 foolishly about his wool this year as he did the last; in fact, Mr.
3228 Tulliver had been too easy with his brother-in-law, and because he had
3229 let the interest run on for two years, Moss was likely enough to think
3230 that he should never be troubled about the principal. But Mr. Tulliver
3231 was determined not to encourage such shuffling people any longer; and
3232 a ride along the Basset lanes was not likely to enervate a man's
3233 resolution by softening his temper. The deep-trodden hoof-marks, made
3234 in the muddiest days of winter, gave him a shake now and then which
3235 suggested a rash but stimulating snarl at the father of lawyers, who,
3236 whether by means of his hoof or otherwise, had doubtless something to
3237 do with this state of the roads; and the abundance of foul land and
3238 neglected fences that met his eye, though they made no part of his
3239 brother Moss's farm, strongly contributed to his dissatisfaction with
3240 that unlucky agriculturist. If this wasn't Moss's fallow, it might
3241 have been; Basset was all alike; it was a beggarly parish, in Mr.
3242 Tulliver's opinion, and his opinion was certainly not groundless.
3243 Basset had a poor soil, poor roads, a poor non-resident landlord, a
3244 poor non-resident vicar, and rather less than half a curate, also
3245 poor. If any one strongly impressed with the power of the human mind
3246 to triumph over circumstances will contend that the parishioners of
3247 Basset might nevertheless have been a very superior class of people, I
3248 have nothing to urge against that abstract proposition; I only know
3249 that, in point of fact, the Basset mind was in strict keeping with its
3250 circumstances. The muddy lanes, green or clayey, that seemed to the
3251 unaccustomed eye to lead nowhere but into each other, did really lead,
3252 with patience, to a distant high-road; but there were many feet in
3253 Basset which they led more frequently to a centre of dissipation,
3254 spoken of formerly as the "Markis o' Granby," but among intimates as
3255 "Dickison's." A large low room with a sanded floor; a cold scent of
3256 tobacco, modified by undetected beer-dregs; Mr. Dickison leaning
3257 against the door-post with a melancholy pimpled face, looking as
3258 irrelevant to the daylight as a last night's guttered candle,--all
3259 this may not seem a very seductive form of temptation; but the
3260 majority of men in Basset found it fatally alluring when encountered
3261 on their road toward four o'clock on a wintry afternoon; and if any
3262 wife in Basset wished to indicate that her husband was not a
3263 pleasure-seeking man, she could hardly do it more emphatically than by
3264 saying that he didn't spend a shilling at Dickison's from one
3265 Whitsuntide to another. Mrs. Moss had said so of _her_ husband more
3266 than once, when her brother was in a mood to find fault with him, as
3267 he certainly was to-day. And nothing could be less pacifying to Mr.
3268 Tulliver than the behavior of the farmyard gate, which he no sooner
3269 attempted to push open with his riding-stick than it acted as gates
3270 without the upper hinge are known to do, to the peril of shins,
3271 whether equine or human. He was about to get down and lead his horse
3272 through the damp dirt of the hollow farmyard, shadowed drearily by the
3273 large half-timbered buildings, up to the long line of tumble-down
3274 dwelling-houses standing on a raised causeway; but the timely
3275 appearance of a cowboy saved him that frustration of a plan he had
3276 determined on,--namely, not to get down from his horse during this
3277 visit. If a man means to be hard, let him keep in his saddle and speak
3278 from that height, above the level of pleading eyes, and with the
3279 command of a distant horizon. Mrs. Moss heard the sound of the horse's
3280 feet, and, when her brother rode up, was already outside the kitchen
3281 door, with a half-weary smile on her face, and a black-eyed baby in
3282 her arms. Mrs. Moss's face bore a faded resemblance to her brother's;
3283 baby's little fat hand, pressed against her cheek, seemed to show more
3284 strikingly that the cheek was faded.
3285
3286 "Brother, I'm glad to see you," she said, in an affectionate tone. "I
3287 didn't look for you to-day. How do you do?"
3288
3289 "Oh, pretty well, Mrs. Moss, pretty well," answered the brother, with
3290 cool deliberation, as if it were rather too forward of her to ask that
3291 question. She knew at once that her brother was not in a good humor;
3292 he never called her Mrs. Moss except when he was angry, and when they
3293 were in company. But she thought it was in the order of nature that
3294 people who were poorly off should be snubbed. Mrs. Moss did not take
3295 her stand on the equality of the human race; she was a patient,
3296 prolific, loving-hearted woman.
3297
3298 "Your husband isn't in the house, I suppose?" added Mr. Tulliver after
3299 a grave pause, during which four children had run out, like chickens
3300 whose mother has been suddenly in eclipse behind the hen-coop.
3301
3302 "No," said Mrs. Moss, "but he's only in the potato-field yonders.
3303 Georgy, run to the Far Close in a minute, and tell father your uncle's
3304 come. You'll get down, brother, won't you, and take something?"
3305
3306 "No, no; I can't get down. I must be going home again directly," said
3307 Mr. Tulliver, looking at the distance.
3308
3309 "And how's Mrs. Tulliver and the children?" said Mrs. Moss, humbly,
3310 not daring to press her invitation.
3311
3312 "Oh, pretty well. Tom's going to a new school at Midsummer,--a deal of
3313 expense to me. It's bad work for me, lying out o' my money."
3314
3315 "I wish you'd be so good as let the children come and see their
3316 cousins some day. My little uns want to see their cousin Maggie so as
3317 never was. And me her godmother, and so fond of her; there's nobody
3318 'ud make a bigger fuss with her, according to what they've got. And I
3319 know she likes to come, for she's a loving child, and how quick and
3320 clever she is, to be sure!"
3321
3322 If Mrs. Moss had been one of the most astute women in the world,
3323 instead of being one of the simplest, she could have thought of
3324 nothing more likely to propitiate her brother than this praise of
3325 Maggie. He seldom found any one volunteering praise of "the little
3326 wench"; it was usually left entirely to himself to insist on her
3327 merits. But Maggie always appeared in the most amiable light at her
3328 aunt Moss's; it was her Alsatia, where she was out of the reach of
3329 law,--if she upset anything, dirtied her shoes, or tore her frock,
3330 these things were matters of course at her aunt Moss's. In spite of
3331 himself, Mr. Tulliver's eyes got milder, and he did not look away from
3332 his sister as he said,--
3333
3334 "Ay; she's fonder o' you than o' the other aunts, I think. She takes
3335 after our family: not a bit of her mother's in her."
3336
3337 "Moss says she's just like what I used to be," said Mrs. Moss, "though
3338 I was never so quick and fond o' the books. But I think my Lizzy's
3339 like her; _she's_ sharp. Come here, Lizzy, my dear, and let your uncle
3340 see you; he hardly knows you, you grow so fast."
3341
3342 Lizzy, a black-eyed child of seven, looked very shy when her mother
3343 drew her forward, for the small Mosses were much in awe of their uncle
3344 from Dorlcote Mill. She was inferior enough to Maggie in fire and
3345 strength of expression to make the resemblance between the two
3346 entirely flattering to Mr. Tulliver's fatherly love.
3347
3348 "Ay, they're a bit alike," he said, looking kindly at the little
3349 figure in the soiled pinafore. "They both take after our mother.
3350 You've got enough o' gells, Gritty," he added, in a tone half
3351 compassionate, half reproachful.
3352
3353 "Four of 'em, bless 'em!" said Mrs. Moss, with a sigh, stroking
3354 Lizzy's hair on each side of her forehead; "as many as there's boys.
3355 They've got a brother apiece."
3356
3357 "Ah, but they must turn out and fend for themselves," said Mr.
3358 Tulliver, feeling that his severity was relaxing and trying to brace
3359 it by throwing out a wholesome hint "They mustn't look to hanging on
3360 their brothers."
3361
3362 "No; but I hope their brothers 'ull love the poor things, and remember
3363 they came o' one father and mother; the lads 'ull never be the poorer
3364 for that," said Mrs. Moss, flashing out with hurried timidity, like a
3365 half-smothered fire.
3366
3367 Mr. Tulliver gave his horse a little stroke on the flank, then checked
3368 it, and said angrily, "Stand still with you!" much to the astonishment
3369 of that innocent animal.
3370
3371 "And the more there is of 'em, the more they must love one another,"
3372 Mrs. Moss went on, looking at her children with a didactic purpose.
3373 But she turned toward her brother again to say, "Not but what I hope
3374 your boy 'ull allays be good to his sister, though there's but two of
3375 'em, like you and me, brother."
3376
3377 The arrow went straight to Mr. Tulliver's heart. He had not a rapid
3378 imagination, but the thought of Maggie was very near to him, and he
3379 was not long in seeing his relation to his own sister side by side
3380 with Tom's relation to Maggie. Would the little wench ever be poorly
3381 off, and Tom rather hard upon her?
3382
3383 "Ay, ay, Gritty," said the miller, with a new softness in his tone;
3384 "but I've allays done what I could for you," he added, as if
3385 vindicating himself from a reproach.
3386
3387 "I'm not denying that, brother, and I'm noways ungrateful," said poor
3388 Mrs. Moss, too fagged by toil and children to have strength left for
3389 any pride. "But here's the father. What a while you've been, Moss!"
3390
3391 "While, do you call it?" said Mr. Moss, feeling out of breath and
3392 injured. "I've been running all the way. Won't you 'light, Mr.
3393 Tulliver?"
3394
3395 "Well, I'll just get down and have a bit o' talk with you in the
3396 garden," said Mr. Tulliver, thinking that he should be more likely to
3397 show a due spirit of resolve if his sister were not present.
3398
3399 He got down, and passed with Mr. Moss into the garden, toward an old
3400 yew-tree arbor, while his sister stood tapping her baby on the back
3401 and looking wistfully after them.
3402
3403 Their entrance into the yew-tree arbor surprised several fowls that
3404 were recreating themselves by scratching deep holes in the dusty
3405 ground, and at once took flight with much pother and cackling. Mr.
3406 Tulliver sat down on the bench, and tapping the ground curiously here
3407 and there with his stick, as if he suspected some hollowness, opened
3408 the conversation by observing, with something like a snarl in his
3409 tone,--
3410
3411 "Why, you've got wheat again in that Corner Close, I see; and never a
3412 bit o' dressing on it. You'll do no good with it this year."
3413
3414 Mr. Moss, who, when he married Miss Tulliver, had been regarded as the
3415 buck of Basset, now wore a beard nearly a week old, and had the
3416 depressed, unexpectant air of a machine-horse. He answered in a
3417 patient-grumbling tone, "Why, poor farmers like me must do as they
3418 can; they must leave it to them as have got money to play with, to put
3419 half as much into the ground as they mean to get out of it."
3420
3421 "I don't know who should have money to play with, if it isn't them as
3422 can borrow money without paying interest," said Mr. Tulliver, who
3423 wished to get into a slight quarrel; it was the most natural and easy
3424 introduction to calling in money.
3425
3426 "I know I'm behind with the interest," said Mr. Moss, "but I was so
3427 unlucky wi' the wool last year; and what with the Missis being laid up
3428 so, things have gone awk'arder nor usual."
3429
3430 "Ay," snarled Mr. Tulliver, "there's folks as things 'ull allays go
3431 awk'ard with; empty sacks 'ull never stand upright."
3432
3433 "Well, I don't know what fault you've got to find wi' me, Mr.
3434 Tulliver," said Mr. Moss, deprecatingly; "I know there isn't a
3435 day-laborer works harder."
3436
3437 "What's the use o' that," said Mr. Tulliver, sharply, "when a man
3438 marries, and's got no capital to work his farm but his wife's bit o'
3439 fortin? I was against it from the first; but you'd neither of you
3440 listen to me. And I can't lie out o' my money any longer, for I've got
3441 to pay five hundred o' Mrs. Glegg's, and there'll be Tom an expense to
3442 me. I should find myself short, even saying I'd got back all as is my
3443 own. You must look about and see how you can pay me the three hundred
3444 pound."
3445
3446 "Well, if that's what you mean," said Mr. Moss, looking blankly before
3447 him, "we'd better be sold up, and ha' done with it; I must part wi'
3448 every head o' stock I've got, to pay you and the landlord too."
3449
3450 Poor relations are undeniably irritating,--their existence is so
3451 entirely uncalled for on our part, and they are almost always very
3452 faulty people. Mr. Tulliver had succeeded in getting quite as much
3453 irritated with Mr. Moss as he had desired, and he was able to say
3454 angrily, rising from his seat,--
3455
3456 "Well, you must do as you can. _I_ can't find money for everybody else
3457 as well as myself. I must look to my own business and my own family. I
3458 can't lie out o' my money any longer. You must raise it as quick as
3459 you can."
3460
3461 Mr. Tulliver walked abruptly out of the arbor as he uttered the last
3462 sentence, and, without looking round at Mr. Moss, went on to the
3463 kitchen door, where the eldest boy was holding his horse, and his
3464 sister was waiting in a state of wondering alarm, which was not
3465 without its alleviations, for baby was making pleasant gurgling
3466 sounds, and performing a great deal of finger practice on the faded
3467 face. Mrs. Moss had eight children, but could never overcome her
3468 regret that the twins had not lived. Mr. Moss thought their removal
3469 was not without its consolations. "Won't you come in, brother?" she
3470 said, looking anxiously at her husband, who was walking slowly up,
3471 while Mr. Tulliver had his foot already in the stirrup.
3472
3473 "No, no; good-by," said he, turning his horse's head, and riding away.
3474
3475 No man could feel more resolute till he got outside the yard gate, and
3476 a little way along the deep-rutted lane; but before he reached the
3477 next turning, which would take him out of sight of the dilapidated
3478 farm-buildings, he appeared to be smitten by some sudden thought. He
3479 checked his horse, and made it stand still in the same spot for two or
3480 three minutes, during which he turned his head from side to side in a
3481 melancholy way, as if he were looking at some painful object on more
3482 sides than one. Evidently, after his fit of promptitude, Mr. Tulliver
3483 was relapsing into the sense that this is a puzzling world. He turned
3484 his horse, and rode slowly back, giving vent to the climax of feeling
3485 which had determined this movement by saying aloud, as he struck his
3486 horse, "Poor little wench! she'll have nobody but Tom, belike, when
3487 I'm gone."
3488
3489 Mr. Tulliver's return into the yard was descried by several young
3490 Mosses, who immediately ran in with the exciting news to their mother,
3491 so that Mrs. Moss was again on the door-step when her brother rode up.
3492 She had been crying, but was rocking baby to sleep in her arms now,
3493 and made no ostentatious show of sorrow as her brother looked at her,
3494 but merely said:
3495
3496 "The father's gone to the field, again, if you want him, brother."
3497
3498 "No, Gritty, no," said Mr. Tulliver, in a gentle tone. "Don't you
3499 fret,--that's all,--I'll make a shift without the money a bit, only
3500 you must be as clever and contriving as you can."
3501
3502 Mrs. Moss's tears came again at this unexpected kindness, and she
3503 could say nothing.
3504
3505 "Come, come!--the little wench shall come and see you. I'll bring her
3506 and Tom some day before he goes to school. You mustn't fret. I'll
3507 allays be a good brother to you."
3508
3509 "Thank you for that word, brother," said Mrs. Moss, drying her tears;
3510 then turning to Lizzy, she said, "Run now, and fetch the colored egg
3511 for cousin Maggie." Lizzy ran in, and quickly reappeared with a small
3512 paper parcel.
3513
3514 "It's boiled hard, brother, and colored with thrums, very pretty; it
3515 was done o' purpose for Maggie. Will you please to carry it in your
3516 pocket?"
3517
3518 "Ay, ay," said Mr. Tulliver, putting it carefully in his side pocket.
3519 "Good-by."
3520
3521 And so the respectable miller returned along the Basset lanes rather
3522 more puzzled than before as to ways and means, but still with the
3523 sense of a danger escaped. It had come across his mind that if he were
3524 hard upon his sister, it might somehow tend to make Tom hard upon
3525 Maggie at some distant day, when her father was no longer there to
3526 take her part; for simple people, like our friend Mr. Tulliver, are
3527 apt to clothe unimpeachable feelings in erroneous ideas, and this was
3528 his confused way of explaining to himself that his love and anxiety
3529 for "the little wench" had given him a new sensibility toward his
3530 sister.
3531
3532
3533
3534 Chapter IX
3535
3536 To Garum Firs
3537
3538
3539 While the possible troubles of Maggie's future were occupying her
3540 father's mind, she herself was tasting only the bitterness of the
3541 present. Childhood has no forebodings; but then, it is soothed by no
3542 memories of outlived sorrow.
3543
3544 The fact was, the day had begun ill with Maggie. The pleasure of
3545 having Lucy to look at, and the prospect of the afternoon visit to
3546 Garum Firs, where she would hear uncle Pullet's musical box, had been
3547 marred as early as eleven o'clock by the advent of the hair-dresser
3548 from St. Ogg's, who had spoken in the severest terms of the condition
3549 in which he had found her hair, holding up one jagged lock after
3550 another and saying, "See here! tut, tut, tut!" in a tone of mingled
3551 disgust and pity, which to Maggie's imagination was equivalent to the
3552 strongest expression of public opinion. Mr. Rappit, the hair-dresser,
3553 with his well-anointed coronal locks tending wavily upward, like the
3554 simulated pyramid of flame on a monumental urn, seemed to her at that
3555 moment the most formidable of her contemporaries, into whose street at
3556 St. Ogg's she would carefully refrain from entering through the rest
3557 of her life.
3558
3559 Moreover, the preparation for a visit being always a serious affair in
3560 the Dodson family, Martha was enjoined to have Mrs. Tulliver's room
3561 ready an hour earlier than usual, that the laying out of the best
3562 clothes might not be deferred till the last moment, as was sometimes
3563 the case in families of lax views, where the ribbon-strings were never
3564 rolled up, where there was little or no wrapping in silver paper, and
3565 where the sense that the Sunday clothes could be got at quite easily
3566 produced no shock to the mind. Already, at twelve o'clock, Mrs.
3567 Tulliver had on her visiting costume, with a protective apparatus of
3568 brown holland, as if she had been a piece of satin furniture in danger
3569 of flies; Maggie was frowning and twisting her shoulders, that she
3570 might if possible shrink away from the prickliest of tuckers, while
3571 her mother was remonstrating, "Don't, Maggie, my dear; don't make
3572 yourself so ugly!" and Tom's cheeks were looking particularly
3573 brilliant as a relief to his best blue suit, which he wore with
3574 becoming calmness, having, after a little wrangling, effected what was
3575 always the one point of interest to him in his toilet: he had
3576 transferred all the contents of his every-day pockets to those
3577 actually in wear.
3578
3579 As for Lucy, she was just as pretty and neat as she had been
3580 yesterday; no accidents ever happened to her clothes, and she was
3581 never uncomfortable in them, so that she looked with wondering pity at
3582 Maggie, pouting and writhing under the exasperating tucker. Maggie
3583 would certainly have torn it off, if she had not been checked by the
3584 remembrance of her recent humiliation about her hair; as it was, she
3585 confined herself to fretting and twisting, and behaving peevishly
3586 about the card-houses which they were allowed to build till dinner, as
3587 a suitable amusement for boys and girls in their best clothes. Tom
3588 could build perfect pyramids of houses; but Maggie's would never bear
3589 the laying on the roof. It was always so with the things that Maggie
3590 made; and Tom had deduced the conclusion that no girls could ever make
3591 anything. But it happened that Lucy proved wonderfully clever at
3592 building; she handled the cards so lightly, and moved so gently, that
3593 Tom condescended to admire her houses as well as his own, the more
3594 readily because she had asked him to teach her. Maggie, too, would
3595 have admired Lucy's houses, and would have given up her own
3596 unsuccessful building to contemplate them, without ill temper, if her
3597 tucker had not made her peevish, and if Tom had not inconsiderately
3598 laughed when her houses fell, and told her she was "a stupid."
3599
3600 "Don't laugh at me, Tom!" she burst out angrily; "I'm not a stupid. I
3601 know a great many things you don't."
3602
3603 "Oh, I dare say, Miss Spitfire! I'd never be such a cross thing as
3604 you, making faces like that. Lucy doesn't do so. I like Lucy better
3605 than you; _I_ wish Lucy was _my_ sister."
3606
3607 "Then it's very wicked and cruel of you to wish so," said Maggie,
3608 starting up hurriedly from her place on the floor, and upsetting Tom's
3609 wonderful pagoda. She really did not mean it, but the circumstantial
3610 evidence was against her, and Tom turned white with anger, but said
3611 nothing; he would have struck her, only he knew it was cowardly to
3612 strike a girl, and Tom Tulliver was quite determined he would never do
3613 anything cowardly.
3614
3615 Maggie stood in dismay and terror, while Tom got up from the floor and
3616 walked away, pale, from the scattered ruins of his pagoda, and Lucy
3617 looked on mutely, like a kitten pausing from its lapping.
3618
3619 "Oh, Tom," said Maggie, at last, going half-way toward him, "I didn't
3620 mean to knock it down, indeed, indeed I didn't."
3621
3622 Tom took no notice of her, but took, instead, two or three hard peas
3623 out of his pocket, and shot them with his thumbnail against the
3624 window, vaguely at first, but presently with the distinct aim of
3625 hitting a superannuated blue-bottle which was exposing its imbecility
3626 in the spring sunshine, clearly against the views of Nature, who had
3627 provided Tom and the peas for the speedy destruction of this weak
3628 individual.
3629
3630 Thus the morning had been made heavy to Maggie, and Tom's persistent
3631 coldness to her all through their walk spoiled the fresh air and
3632 sunshine for her. He called Lucy to look at the half-built bird's nest
3633 without caring to show it Maggie, and peeled a willow switch for Lucy
3634 and himself, without offering one to Maggie. Lucy had said, "Maggie,
3635 shouldn't _you_ like one?" but Tom was deaf.
3636
3637 Still, the sight of the peacock opportunely spreading his tail on the
3638 stackyard wall, just as they reached Garum Firs, was enough to divert
3639 the mind temporarily from personal grievances. And this was only the
3640 beginning of beautiful sights at Garum Firs. All the farmyard life was
3641 wonderful there,--bantams, speckled and top-knotted; Friesland hens,
3642 with their feathers all turned the wrong way; Guinea-fowls that flew
3643 and screamed and dropped their pretty spotted feathers; pouter-pigeons
3644 and a tame magpie; nay, a goat, and a wonderful brindled dog, half
3645 mastiff, half bull-dog, as large as a lion. Then there were white
3646 railings and white gates all about, and glittering weathercocks of
3647 various design, and garden-walks paved with pebbles in beautiful
3648 patterns,--nothing was quite common at Garum Firs; and Tom thought
3649 that the unusual size of the toads there was simply due to the general
3650 unusualness which characterized uncle Pullet's possessions as a
3651 gentleman farmer. Toads who paid rent were naturally leaner. As for
3652 the house, it was not less remarkable; it had a receding centre, and
3653 two wings with battlemented turrets, and was covered with glittering
3654 white stucco.
3655
3656 Uncle Pullet had seen the expected party approaching from the window,
3657 and made haste to unbar and unchain the front door, kept always in
3658 this fortified condition from fear of tramps, who might be supposed to
3659 know of the glass case of stuffed birds in the hall, and to
3660 contemplate rushing in and carrying it away on their heads. Aunt
3661 Pullet, too, appeared at the doorway, and as soon as her sister was
3662 within hearing said, "Stop the children, for God's sake! Bessy; don't
3663 let 'em come up the door-steps; Sally's bringing the old mat and the
3664 duster, to rub their shoes."
3665
3666 Mrs. Pullet's front-door mats were by no means intended to wipe shoes
3667 on; the very scraper had a deputy to do its dirty work. Tom rebelled
3668 particularly against this shoewiping, which he always considered in
3669 the light of an indignity to his sex. He felt it as the beginning of
3670 the disagreeables incident to a visit at aunt Pullet's, where he had
3671 once been compelled to sit with towels wrapped round his boots; a fact
3672 which may serve to correct the too-hasty conclusion that a visit to
3673 Garum Firs must have been a great treat to a young gentleman fond of
3674 animals,--fond, that is, of throwing stones at them.
3675
3676 The next disagreeable was confined to his feminine companions; it was
3677 the mounting of the polished oak stairs, which had very handsome
3678 carpets rolled up and laid by in a spare bedroom, so that the ascent
3679 of these glossy steps might have served, in barbarous times, as a
3680 trial by ordeal from which none but the most spotless virtue could
3681 have come off with unbroken limbs. Sophy's weakness about these
3682 polished stairs was always a subject of bitter remonstrance on Mrs.
3683 Glegg's part; but Mrs. Tulliver ventured on no comment, only thinking
3684 to herself it was a mercy when she and the children were safe on the
3685 landing.
3686
3687 "Mrs. Gray has sent home my new bonnet, Bessy," said Mrs. Pullet, in a
3688 pathetic tone, as Mrs. Tulliver adjusted her cap.
3689
3690 "Has she, sister?" said Mrs. Tulliver, with an air of much interest.
3691 "And how do you like it?"
3692
3693 "It's apt to make a mess with clothes, taking 'em out and putting 'em
3694 in again," said Mrs. Pullet, drawing a bunch of keys from her pocket
3695 and looking at them earnestly, "but it 'ud be a pity for you to go
3696 away without seeing it. There's no knowing what may happen."
3697
3698 Mrs. Pullet shook her head slowly at this last serious consideration,
3699 which determined her to single out a particular key.
3700
3701 "I'm afraid it'll be troublesome to you getting it out, sister," said
3702 Mrs. Tulliver; "but I _should_ like to see what sort of a crown she's
3703 made you."
3704
3705 Mrs. Pullet rose with a melancholy air and unlocked one wing of a very
3706 bright wardrobe, where you may have hastily supposed she would find a
3707 new bonnet. Not at all. Such a supposition could only have arisen from
3708 a too-superficial acquaintance with the habits of the Dodson family.
3709 In this wardrobe Mrs. Pullet was seeking something small enough to be
3710 hidden among layers of linen,--it was a door-key.
3711
3712 "You must come with me into the best room," said Mrs. Pullet.
3713
3714 "May the children come too, sister?" inquired Mrs. Tulliver, who saw
3715 that Maggie and Lucy were looking rather eager.
3716
3717 "Well," said aunt Pullet, reflectively, "it'll perhaps be safer for
3718 'em to come; they'll be touching something if we leave 'em behind."
3719
3720 So they went in procession along the bright and slippery corridor,
3721 dimly lighted by the semi-lunar top of the window which rose above the
3722 closed shutter; it was really quite solemn. Aunt Pullet paused and
3723 unlocked a door which opened on something still more solemn than the
3724 passage,--a darkened room, in which the outer light, entering feebly,
3725 showed what looked like the corpses of furniture in white shrouds.
3726 Everything that was not shrouded stood with its legs upward. Lucy laid
3727 hold of Maggie's frock, and Maggie's heart beat rapidly.
3728
3729 Aunt Pullet half-opened the shutter and then unlocked the wardrobe,
3730 with a melancholy deliberateness which was quite in keeping with the
3731 funereal solemnity of the scene. The delicious scent of rose-leaves
3732 that issued from the wardrobe made the process of taking out sheet
3733 after sheet of silver paper quite pleasant to assist at, though the
3734 sight of the bonnet at last was an anticlimax to Maggie, who would
3735 have preferred something more strikingly preternatural. But few things
3736 could have been more impressive to Mrs. Tulliver. She looked all round
3737 it in silence for some moments, and then said emphatically, "Well,
3738 sister, I'll never speak against the full crowns again!"
3739
3740 It was a great concession, and Mrs. Pullet felt it; she felt something
3741 was due to it.
3742
3743 "You'd like to see it on, sister?" she said sadly. "I'll open the
3744 shutter a bit further."
3745
3746 "Well, if you don't mind taking off your cap, sister," said Mrs.
3747 Tulliver.
3748
3749 Mrs. Pullet took off her cap, displaying the brown silk scalp with a
3750 jutting promontory of curls which was common to the more mature and
3751 judicious women of those times, and placing the bonnet on her head,
3752 turned slowly round, like a draper's lay-figure, that Mrs. Tulliver
3753 might miss no point of view.
3754
3755 "I've sometimes thought there's a loop too much o' ribbon on this left
3756 side, sister; what do you think?" said Mrs. Pullet.
3757
3758 Mrs. Tulliver looked earnestly at the point indicated, and turned her
3759 head on one side. "Well, I think it's best as it is; if you meddled
3760 with it, sister, you might repent."
3761
3762 "That's true," said aunt Pullet, taking off the bonnet and looking at
3763 it contemplatively.
3764
3765 "How much might she charge you for that bonnet, sister?" said Mrs.
3766 Tulliver, whose mind was actively engaged on the possibility of
3767 getting a humble imitation of this _chef-d'œuvre_ made from a piece
3768 of silk she had at home.
3769
3770 Mrs. Pullet screwed up her mouth and shook her head, and then
3771 whispered, "Pullet pays for it; he said I was to have the best bonnet
3772 at Garum Church, let the next best be whose it would."
3773
3774 She began slowly to adjust the trimmings, in preparation for returning
3775 it to its place in the wardrobe, and her thoughts seemed to have taken
3776 a melancholy turn, for she shook her head.
3777
3778 "Ah," she said at last, "I may never wear it twice, sister; who
3779 knows?"
3780
3781 "Don't talk o' that sister," answered Mrs. Tulliver. "I hope you'll
3782 have your health this summer."
3783
3784 "Ah! but there may come a death in the family, as there did soon after
3785 I had my green satin bonnet. Cousin Abbott may go, and we can't think
3786 o' wearing crape less nor half a year for him."
3787
3788 "That _would_ be unlucky," said Mrs. Tulliver, entering thoroughly
3789 into the possibility of an inopportune decease. "There's never so much
3790 pleasure i' wearing a bonnet the second year, especially when the
3791 crowns are so chancy,--never two summers alike."
3792
3793 "Ah, it's the way i' this world," said Mrs. Pullet, returning the
3794 bonnet to the wardrobe and locking it up. She maintained a silence
3795 characterized by head-shaking, until they had all issued from the
3796 solemn chamber and were in her own room again. Then, beginning to cry,
3797 she said, "Sister, if you should never see that bonnet again till I'm
3798 dead and gone, you'll remember I showed it you this day."
3799
3800 Mrs. Tulliver felt that she ought to be affected, but she was a woman
3801 of sparse tears, stout and healthy; she couldn't cry so much as her
3802 sister Pullet did, and had often felt her deficiency at funerals. Her
3803 effort to bring tears into her eyes issued in an odd contraction of
3804 her face. Maggie, looking on attentively, felt that there was some
3805 painful mystery about her aunt's bonnet which she was considered too
3806 young to understand; indignantly conscious, all the while, that she
3807 could have understood that, as well as everything else, if she had
3808 been taken into confidence.
3809
3810 When they went down, uncle Pullet observed, with some acumen, that he
3811 reckoned the missis had been showing her bonnet,--that was what had
3812 made them so long upstairs. With Tom the interval had seemed still
3813 longer, for he had been seated in irksome constraint on the edge of a
3814 sofa directly opposite his uncle Pullet, who regarded him with
3815 twinkling gray eyes, and occasionally addressed him as "Young sir."
3816
3817 "Well, young sir, what do you learn at school?" was a standing
3818 question with uncle Pullet; whereupon Tom always looked sheepish,
3819 rubbed his hands across his face, and answered, "I don't know." It was
3820 altogether so embarrassing to be seated _tête-à-tête_ with uncle
3821 Pullet, that Tom could not even look at the prints on the walls, or
3822 the flycages, or the wonderful flower-pots; he saw nothing but his
3823 uncle's gaiters. Not that Tom was in awe of his uncle's mental
3824 superiority; indeed, he had made up his mind that he didn't want to be
3825 a gentleman farmer, because he shouldn't like to be such a
3826 thin-legged, silly fellow as his uncle Pullet,--a molly-coddle, in
3827 fact. A boy's sheepishness is by no means a sign of overmastering
3828 reverence; and while you are making encouraging advances to him under
3829 the idea that he is overwhelmed by a sense of your age and wisdom, ten
3830 to one he is thinking you extremely queer. The only consolation I can
3831 suggest to you is, that the Greek boys probably thought the same of
3832 Aristotle. It is only when you have mastered a restive horse, or
3833 thrashed a drayman, or have got a gun in your hand, that these shy
3834 juniors feel you to be a truly admirable and enviable character. At
3835 least, I am quite sure of Tom Tulliver's sentiments on these points.
3836 In very tender years, when he still wore a lace border under his
3837 outdoor cap, he was often observed peeping through the bars of a gate
3838 and making minatory gestures with his small forefinger while he
3839 scolded the sheep with an inarticulate burr, intended to strike terror
3840 into their astonished minds; indicating thus early that desire for
3841 mastery over the inferior animals, wild and domestic, including
3842 cockchafers, neighbors' dogs, and small sisters, which in all ages has
3843 been an attribute of so much promise for the fortunes of our race.
3844 Now, Mr. Pullet never rode anything taller than a low pony, and was
3845 the least predatory of men, considering firearms dangerous, as apt to
3846 go off of themselves by nobody's particular desire. So that Tom was
3847 not without strong reasons when, in confidential talk with a chum, he
3848 had described uncle Pullet as a nincompoop, taking care at the same
3849 time to observe that he was a very "rich fellow."
3850
3851 The only alleviating circumstance in a _tête-à-tête_ with uncle Pullet
3852 was that he kept a variety of lozenges and peppermint-drops about his
3853 person, and when at a loss for conversation, he filled up the void by
3854 proposing a mutual solace of this kind.
3855
3856 "Do you like peppermints, young sir?" required only a tacit answer
3857 when it was accompanied by a presentation of the article in question.
3858
3859 The appearance of the little girls suggested to uncle Pullet the
3860 further solace of small sweet-cakes, of which he also kept a stock
3861 under lock and key for his own private eating on wet days; but the
3862 three children had no sooner got the tempting delicacy between their
3863 fingers, than aunt Pullet desired them to abstain from eating it till
3864 the tray and the plates came, since with those crisp cakes they would
3865 make the floor "all over" crumbs. Lucy didn't mind that much, for the
3866 cake was so pretty, she thought it was rather a pity to eat it; but
3867 Tom, watching his opportunity while the elders were talking, hastily
3868 stowed it in his mouth at two bites, and chewed it furtively. As for
3869 Maggie, becoming fascinated, as usual, by a print of Ulysses and
3870 Nausicaa, which uncle Pullet had bought as a "pretty Scripture thing,"
3871 she presently let fall her cake, and in an unlucky movement crushed it
3872 beneath her foot,--a source of so much agitation to aunt Pullet and
3873 conscious disgrace to Maggie, that she began to despair of hearing the
3874 musical snuff-box to-day, till, after some reflection, it occurred to
3875 her that Lucy was in high favor enough to venture on asking for a
3876 tune. So she whispered to Lucy; and Lucy, who always did what she was
3877 desired to do, went up quietly to her uncle's knee, and blush-all over
3878 her neck while she fingered her necklace, said, "Will you please play
3879 us a tune, uncle?"
3880
3881 Lucy thought it was by reason of some exceptional talent in uncle
3882 Pullet that the snuff-box played such beautiful tunes, and indeed the
3883 thing was viewed in that light by the majority of his neighbors in
3884 Garum. Mr. Pullet had _bought_ the box, to begin with, and he
3885 understood winding it up, and knew which tune it was going to play
3886 beforehand; altogether the possession of this unique "piece of music"
3887 was a proof that Mr. Pullet's character was not of that entire nullity
3888 which might otherwise have been attributed to it. But uncle Pullet,
3889 when entreated to exhibit his accomplishment, never depreciated it by
3890 a too-ready consent. "We'll see about it," was the answer he always
3891 gave, carefully abstaining from any sign of compliance till a suitable
3892 number of minutes had passed. Uncle Pullet had a programme for all
3893 great social occasions, and in this way fenced himself in from much
3894 painful confusion and perplexing freedom of will.
3895
3896 Perhaps the suspense did heighten Maggie's enjoyment when the fairy
3897 tune began; for the first time she quite forgot that she had a load on
3898 her mind, that Tom was angry with her; and by the time "Hush, ye
3899 pretty warbling choir," had been played, her face wore that bright
3900 look of happiness, while she sat immovable with her hands clasped,
3901 which sometimes comforted her mother with the sense that Maggie could
3902 look pretty now and then, in spite of her brown skin. But when the
3903 magic music ceased, she jumped up, and running toward Tom, put her arm
3904 round his neck and said, "Oh, Tom, isn't it pretty?"
3905
3906 Lest you should think it showed a revolting insensibility in Tom that
3907 he felt any new anger toward Maggie for this uncalled-for and, to him,
3908 inexplicable caress, I must tell you that he had his glass of cowslip
3909 wine in his hand, and that she jerked him so as to make him spill half
3910 of it. He must have been an extreme milksop not to say angrily, "Look
3911 there, now!" especially when his resentment was sanctioned, as it was,
3912 by general disapprobation of Maggie's behavior.
3913
3914 "Why don't you sit still, Maggie?" her mother said peevishly.
3915
3916 "Little gells mustn't come to see me if they behave in that way," said
3917 aunt Pullet.
3918
3919 "Why, you're too rough, little miss," said uncle Pullet.
3920
3921 Poor Maggie sat down again, with the music all chased out of her soul,
3922 and the seven small demons all in again.
3923
3924 Mrs. Tulliver, foreseeing nothing but misbehavior while the children
3925 remained indoors, took an early opportunity of suggesting that, now
3926 they were rested after their walk, they might go and play out of
3927 doors; and aunt Pullet gave permission, only enjoining them not to go
3928 off the paved walks in the garden, and if they wanted to see the
3929 poultry fed, to view them from a distance on the horse-block; a
3930 restriction which had been imposed ever since Tom had been found
3931 guilty of running after the peacock, with an illusory idea that fright
3932 would make one of its feathers drop off.
3933
3934 Mrs. Tulliver's thoughts had been temporarily diverted from the
3935 quarrel with Mrs. Glegg by millinery and maternal cares, but now the
3936 great theme of the bonnet was thrown into perspective, and the
3937 children were out of the way, yesterday's anxieties recurred.
3938
3939 "It weighs on my mind so as never was," she said, by way of opening
3940 the subject, "sister Glegg's leaving the house in that way. I'm sure
3941 I'd no wish t' offend a sister."
3942
3943 "Ah," said aunt Pullet, "there's no accounting for what Jane 'ull do.
3944 I wouldn't speak of it out o' the family, if it wasn't to Dr.
3945 Turnbull; but it's my belief Jane lives too low. I've said so to
3946 Pullet often and often, and he knows it."
3947
3948 "Why, you said so last Monday was a week, when we came away from
3949 drinking tea with 'em," said Mr. Pullet, beginning to nurse his knee
3950 and shelter it with his pocket-hand-kerchief, as was his way when the
3951 conversation took an interesting turn.
3952
3953 "Very like I did," said Mrs. Pullet, "for you remember when I said
3954 things, better than I can remember myself. He's got a wonderful
3955 memory, Pullet has," she continued, looking pathetically at her
3956 sister. "I should be poorly off if he was to have a stroke, for he
3957 always remembers when I've got to take my doctor's stuff; and I'm
3958 taking three sorts now."
3959
3960 "There's the 'pills as before' every other night, and the new drops at
3961 eleven and four, and the 'fervescing mixture 'when agreeable,'"
3962 rehearsed Mr. Pullet, with a punctuation determined by a lozenge on
3963 his tongue.
3964
3965 "Ah, perhaps it 'ud be better for sister Glegg if _she'd_ go to the
3966 doctor sometimes, instead o' chewing Turkey rhubarb whenever there's
3967 anything the matter with her," said Mrs. Tulliver, who naturally saw
3968 the wide subject of medicine chiefly in relation to Mrs. Glegg.
3969
3970 "It's dreadful to think on," said aunt Pullet, raising her hands and
3971 letting them fall again, "people playing with their own insides in
3972 that way! And it's flying i' the face o' Providence; for what are the
3973 doctors for, if we aren't to call 'em in? And when folks have got the
3974 money to pay for a doctor, it isn't respectable, as I've told Jane
3975 many a time. I'm ashamed of acquaintance knowing it."
3976
3977 "Well, _we've_ no call to be ashamed," said Mr. Pullet, "for Doctor
3978 Turnbull hasn't got such another patient as you i' this parish, now
3979 old Mrs. Sutton's gone."
3980
3981 "Pullet keeps all my physic-bottles, did you know, Bessy?" said Mrs.
3982 Pullet. "He won't have one sold. He says it's nothing but right folks
3983 should see 'em when I'm gone. They fill two o' the long store-room
3984 shelves a'ready; but," she added, beginning to cry a little, "it's
3985 well if they ever fill three. I may go before I've made up the dozen
3986 o' these last sizes. The pill-boxes are in the closet in my
3987 room,--you'll remember that, sister,--but there's nothing to show for
3988 the boluses, if it isn't the bills."
3989
3990 "Don't talk o' your going, sister," said Mrs. Tulliver; "I should have
3991 nobody to stand between me and sister Glegg if you was gone. And
3992 there's nobody but you can get her to make it up with Mr. Tulliver,
3993 for sister Deane's never o' my side, and if she was, it's not to be
3994 looked for as she can speak like them as have got an independent
3995 fortin."
3996
3997 "Well, your husband _is_ awk'ard, you know, Bessy," said Mrs. Pullet,
3998 good-naturedly ready to use her deep depression on her sister's
3999 account as well as her own. "He's never behaved quite so pretty to our
4000 family as he should do, and the children take after him,--the boy's
4001 very mischievous, and runs away from his aunts and uncles, and the
4002 gell's rude and brown. It's your bad luck, and I'm sorry for you,
4003 Bessy; for you was allays my favorite sister, and we allays liked the
4004 same patterns."
4005
4006 "I know Tulliver's hasty, and says odd things," said Mrs. Tulliver,
4007 wiping away one small tear from the corner of her eye; "but I'm sure
4008 he's never been the man, since he married me, to object to my making
4009 the friends o' my side o' the family welcome to the house."
4010
4011 "_I_ don't want to make the worst of you, Bessy," said Mrs. Pullet,
4012 compassionately, "for I doubt you'll have trouble enough without that;
4013 and your husband's got that poor sister and her children hanging on
4014 him,--and so given to lawing, they say. I doubt he'll leave you poorly
4015 off when he dies. Not as I'd have it said out o' the family."
4016
4017 This view of her position was naturally far from cheering to Mrs.
4018 Tulliver. Her imagination was not easily acted on, but she could not
4019 help thinking that her case was a hard one, since it appeared that
4020 other people thought it hard.
4021
4022 "I'm sure, sister, I can't help myself," she said, urged by the fear
4023 lest her anticipated misfortunes might be held retributive, to take
4024 comprehensive review of her past conduct. "There's no woman strives
4025 more for her children; and I'm sure at scouring-time this Lady-day as
4026 I've had all the bedhangings taken down I did as much as the two gells
4027 put together; and there's the last elder-flower wine I've
4028 made--beautiful! I allays offer it along with the sherry, though
4029 sister Glegg will have it I'm so extravagant; and as for liking to
4030 have my clothes tidy, and not go a fright about the house, there's
4031 nobody in the parish can say anything against me in respect o'
4032 backbiting and making mischief, for I don't wish anybody any harm; and
4033 nobody loses by sending me a porkpie, for my pies are fit to show with
4034 the best o' my neighbors'; and the linen's so in order as if I was to
4035 die to-morrow I shouldn't be ashamed. A woman can do no more nor she
4036 can."
4037
4038 "But it's all o' no use, you know, Bessy," said Mrs. Pullet, holding
4039 her head on one side, and fixing her eyes pathetically on her sister,
4040 "if your husband makes away with his money. Not but what if you was
4041 sold up, and other folks bought your furniture, it's a comfort to
4042 think as you've kept it well rubbed. And there's the linen, with your
4043 maiden mark on, might go all over the country. It 'ud be a sad pity
4044 for our family." Mrs. Pullet shook her head slowly.
4045
4046 "But what can I do, sister?" said Mrs. Tulliver. "Mr. Tulliver's not a
4047 man to be dictated to,--not if I was to go to the parson and get by
4048 heart what I should tell my husband for the best. And I'm sure I don't
4049 pretend to know anything about putting out money and all that. I could
4050 never see into men's business as sister Glegg does."
4051
4052 "Well, you're like me in that, Bessy," said Mrs. Pullet; "and I think
4053 it 'ud be a deal more becoming o' Jane if she'd have that pier-glass
4054 rubbed oftener,--there was ever so many spots on it last
4055 week,--instead o' dictating to folks as have more comings in than she
4056 ever had, and telling 'em what they're to do with their money. But
4057 Jane and me were allays contrairy; she _would_ have striped things,
4058 and I like spots. You like a spot too, Bessy; we allays hung together
4059 i' that."
4060
4061 "Yes, Sophy," said Mrs. Tulliver, "I remember our having a blue ground
4062 with a white spot both alike,--I've got a bit in a bed-quilt now; and
4063 if you would but go and see sister Glegg, and persuade her to make it
4064 up with Tulliver, I should take it very kind of you. You was allays a
4065 good sister to me."
4066
4067 "But the right thing 'ud be for Tulliver to go and make it up with her
4068 himself, and say he was sorry for speaking so rash. If he's borrowed
4069 money of her, he shouldn't be above that," said Mrs. Pullet, whose
4070 partiality did not blind her to principles; she did not forget what
4071 was due to people of independent fortune.
4072
4073 "It's no use talking o' that," said poor Mrs. Tulliver, almost
4074 peevishly. "If I was to go down on my bare knees on the gravel to
4075 Tulliver, he'd never humble himself."
4076
4077 "Well, you can't expect me to persuade _Jane_ to beg pardon," said
4078 Mrs. Pullet. "Her temper's beyond everything; it's well if it doesn't
4079 carry her off her mind, though there never _was_ any of our family
4080 went to a madhouse."
4081
4082 "I'm not thinking of her begging pardon," said Mrs. Tulliver. "But if
4083 she'd just take no notice, and not call her money in; as it's not so
4084 much for one sister to ask of another; time 'ud mend things, and
4085 Tulliver 'ud forget all about it, and they'd be friends again."
4086
4087 Mrs. Tulliver, you perceive, was not aware of her husband's
4088 irrevocable determination to pay in the five hundred pounds; at least
4089 such a determination exceeded her powers of belief.
4090
4091 "Well, Bessy," said Mrs. Pullet, mournfully, "_I_ don't want to help
4092 you on to ruin. I won't be behindhand i' doing you a good turn, if it
4093 is to be done. And I don't like it said among acquaintance as we've
4094 got quarrels in the family. I shall tell Jane that; and I don't mind
4095 driving to Jane's tomorrow, if Pullet doesn't mind. What do you say,
4096 Mr. Pullet?"
4097
4098 "I've no objections," said Mr. Pullet, who was perfectly contented
4099 with any course the quarrel might take, so that Mr. Tulliver did not
4100 apply to _him_ for money. Mr. Pullet was nervous about his
4101 investments, and did not see how a man could have any security for his
4102 money unless he turned it into land.
4103
4104 After a little further discussion as to whether it would not be better
4105 for Mrs. Tulliver to accompany them on a visit to sister Glegg, Mrs.
4106 Pullet, observing that it was tea-time, turned to reach from a drawer
4107 a delicate damask napkin, which she pinned before her in the fashion
4108 of an apron. The door did, in fact, soon open, but instead of the
4109 tea-tray, Sally introduced an object so startling that both Mrs.
4110 Pullet and Mrs. Tulliver gave a scream, causing uncle Pullet to
4111 swallow his lozenge--for the fifth time in his life, as he afterward
4112 noted.
4113
4114
4115
4116 Chapter X
4117
4118 Maggie Behaves Worse Than She Expected
4119
4120
4121 The startling object which thus made an epoch for uncle Pullet was no
4122 other than little Lucy, with one side of her person, from her small
4123 foot to her bonnet-crown, wet and discolored with mud, holding out two
4124 tiny blackened hands, and making a very piteous face. To account for
4125 this unprecedented apparition in aunt Pullet's parlor, we must return
4126 to the moment when the three children went to play out of doors, and
4127 the small demons who had taken possession of Maggie's soul at an early
4128 period of the day had returned in all the greater force after a
4129 temporary absence. All the disagreeable recollections of the morning
4130 were thick upon her, when Tom, whose displeasure toward her had been
4131 considerably refreshed by her foolish trick of causing him to upset
4132 his cowslip wine, said, "Here, Lucy, you come along with me," and
4133 walked off to the area where the toads were, as if there were no
4134 Maggie in existence. Seeing this, Maggie lingered at a distance
4135 looking like a small Medusa with her snakes cropped. Lucy was
4136 naturally pleased that cousin Tom was so good to her, and it was very
4137 amusing to see him tickling a fat toad with a piece of string when the
4138 toad was safe down the area, with an iron grating over him. Still Lucy
4139 wished Maggie to enjoy the spectacle also, especially as she would
4140 doubtless find a name for the toad, and say what had been his past
4141 history; for Lucy had a delighted semibelief in Maggie's stories about
4142 the live things they came upon by accident,--how Mrs. Earwig had a
4143 wash at home, and one of her children had fallen into the hot copper,
4144 for which reason she was running so fast to fetch the doctor. Tom had
4145 a profound contempt for this nonsense of Maggie's, smashing the earwig
4146 at once as a superfluous yet easy means of proving the entire
4147 unreality of such a story; but Lucy, for the life of her, could not
4148 help fancying there was something in it, and at all events thought it
4149 was very pretty make-believe. So now the desire to know the history of
4150 a very portly toad, added to her habitual affectionateness, made her
4151 run back to Maggie and say, "Oh, there is such a big, funny toad,
4152 Maggie! Do come and see!"
4153
4154 Maggie said nothing, but turned away from her with a deeper frown. As
4155 long as Tom seemed to prefer Lucy to her, Lucy made part of his
4156 unkindness. Maggie would have thought a little while ago that she
4157 could never be cross with pretty little Lucy, any more than she could
4158 be cruel to a little white mouse; but then, Tom had always been quite
4159 indifferent to Lucy before, and it had been left to Maggie to pet and
4160 make much of her. As it was, she was actually beginning to think that
4161 she should like to make Lucy cry by slapping or pinching her,
4162 especially as it might vex Tom, whom it was of no use to slap, even if
4163 she dared, because he didn't mind it. And if Lucy hadn't been there,
4164 Maggie was sure he would have got friends with her sooner.
4165
4166 Tickling a fat toad who is not highly sensitive is an amusement that
4167 it is possible to exhaust, and Tom by and by began to look round for
4168 some other mode of passing the time. But in so prim a garden, where
4169 they were not to go off the paved walks, there was not a great choice
4170 of sport. The only great pleasure such a restriction suggested was the
4171 pleasure of breaking it, and Tom began to meditate an insurrectionary
4172 visit to the pond, about a field's length beyond the garden.
4173
4174 "I say, Lucy," he began, nodding his head up and down with great
4175 significance, as he coiled up his string again, "what do you think I
4176 mean to do?"
4177
4178 "What, Tom?" said Lucy, with curiosity.
4179
4180 "I mean to go to the pond and look at the pike. You may go with me if
4181 you like," said the young sultan.
4182
4183 "Oh, Tom, _dare_ you?" said Lucy. "Aunt said we mustn't go out of the
4184 garden."
4185
4186 "Oh, I shall go out at the other end of the garden," said Tom. "Nobody
4187 'ull see us. Besides, I don't care if they do,--I'll run off home."
4188
4189 "But _I_ couldn't run," said Lucy, who had never before been exposed
4190 to such severe temptation.
4191
4192 "Oh, never mind; they won't be cross with _you_," said Tom. "You say I
4193 took you."
4194
4195 Tom walked along, and Lucy trotted by his side, timidly enjoying the
4196 rare treat of doing something naughty,--excited also by the mention of
4197 that celebrity, the pike, about which she was quite uncertain whether
4198 it was a fish or a fowl.
4199
4200 Maggie saw them leaving the garden, and could not resist the impulse
4201 to follow. Anger and jealousy can no more bear to lose sight of their
4202 objects than love, and that Tom and Lucy should do or see anything of
4203 which she was ignorant would have been an intolerable idea to Maggie.
4204 So she kept a few yards behind them, unobserved by Tom, who was
4205 presently absorbed in watching for the pike,--a highly interesting
4206 monster; he was said to be so very old, so very large, and to have
4207 such a remarkable appetite. The pike, like other celebrities, did not
4208 show when he was watched for, but Tom caught sight of something in
4209 rapid movement in the water, which attracted him to another spot on
4210 the brink of the pond.
4211
4212 "Here, Lucy!" he said in a loud whisper, "come here! take care! keep
4213 on the grass!--don't step where the cows have been!" he added,
4214 pointing to a peninsula of dry grass, with trodden mud on each side of
4215 it; for Tom's contemptuous conception of a girl included the attribute
4216 of being unfit to walk in dirty places.
4217
4218 Lucy came carefully as she was bidden, and bent down to look at what
4219 seemed a golden arrow-head darting through the water. It was a
4220 water-snake, Tom told her; and Lucy at last could see the serpentine
4221 wave of its body, very much wondering that a snake could swim. Maggie
4222 had drawn nearer and nearer; she _must_ see it too, though it was
4223 bitter to her, like everything else, since Tom did not care about her
4224 seeing it. At last she was close by Lucy; and Tom, who had been aware
4225 of her approach, but would not notice it till he was obliged, turned
4226 round and said,--
4227
4228 "Now, get away, Maggie; there's no room for you on the grass here.
4229 Nobody asked _you_ to come."
4230
4231 There were passions at war in Maggie at that moment to have made a
4232 tragedy, if tragedies were made by passion only; but the essential
4233 [Greek text] which was present in the passion was wanting to the action;
4234 the utmost Maggie could do, with a fierce thrust of her small brown arm,
4235 was to push poor little pink-and-white Lucy into the cow-trodden mud.
4236
4237 Then Tom could not restrain himself, and gave Maggie two smart slaps
4238 on the arm as he ran to pick up Lucy, who lay crying helplessly.
4239 Maggie retreated to the roots of a tree a few yards off, and looked on
4240 impenitently. Usually her repentance came quickly after one rash deed,
4241 but now Tom and Lucy had made her so miserable, she was glad to spoil
4242 their happiness,--glad to make everybody uncomfortable. Why should she
4243 be sorry? Tom was very slow to forgive _her_, however sorry she might
4244 have been.
4245
4246 "I shall tell mother, you know, Miss Mag," said Tom, loudly and
4247 emphatically, as soon as Lucy was up and ready to walk away. It was
4248 not Tom's practice to "tell," but here justice clearly demanded that
4249 Maggie should be visited with the utmost punishment; not that Tom had
4250 learned to put his views in that abstract form; he never mentioned
4251 "justice," and had no idea that his desire to punish might be called
4252 by that fine name. Lucy was too entirely absorbed by the evil that had
4253 befallen her,--the spoiling of her pretty best clothes, and the
4254 discomfort of being wet and dirty,--to think much of the cause, which
4255 was entirely mysterious to her. She could never have guessed what she
4256 had done to make Maggie angry with her; but she felt that Maggie was
4257 very unkind and disagreeable, and made no magnanimous entreaties to
4258 Tom that he would not "tell," only running along by his side and
4259 crying piteously, while Maggie sat on the roots of the tree and looked
4260 after them with her small Medusa face.
4261
4262 "Sally," said Tom, when they reached the kitchen door, and Sally
4263 looked at them in speechless amaze, with a piece of bread-and-butter
4264 in her mouth and a toasting-fork in her hand,--"Sally, tell mother it
4265 was Maggie pushed Lucy into the mud."
4266
4267 "But Lors ha' massy, how did you get near such mud as that?" said
4268 Sally, making a wry face, as she stooped down and examined the _corpus
4269 delicti_.
4270
4271 Tom's imagination had not been rapid and capacious enough to include
4272 this question among the foreseen consequences, but it was no sooner
4273 put than he foresaw whither it tended, and that Maggie would not be
4274 considered the only culprit in the case. He walked quietly away from
4275 the kitchen door, leaving Sally to that pleasure of guessing which
4276 active minds notoriously prefer to ready-made knowledge.
4277
4278 Sally, as you are aware, lost no time in presenting Lucy at the parlor
4279 door, for to have so dirty an object introduced into the house at
4280 Garum Firs was too great a weight to be sustained by a single mind.
4281
4282 "Goodness gracious!" aunt Pullet exclaimed, after preluding by an
4283 inarticulate scream; "keep her at the door, Sally! Don't bring her off
4284 the oil-cloth, whatever you do."
4285
4286 "Why, she's tumbled into some nasty mud," said Mrs. Tulliver, going up
4287 to Lucy to examine into the amount of damage to clothes for which she
4288 felt herself responsible to her sister Deane.
4289
4290 "If you please, 'um, it was Miss Maggie as pushed her in," said Sally;
4291 "Master Tom's been and said so, and they must ha' been to the pond,
4292 for it's only there they could ha' got into such dirt."
4293
4294 "There it is, Bessy; it's what I've been telling you," said Mrs.
4295 Pullet, in a tone of prophetic sadness; "it's your children,--there's
4296 no knowing what they'll come to."
4297
4298 Mrs. Tulliver was mute, feeling herself a truly wretched mother. As
4299 usual, the thought pressed upon her that people would think she had
4300 done something wicked to deserve her maternal troubles, while Mrs.
4301 Pullet began to give elaborate directions to Sally how to guard the
4302 premises from serious injury in the course of removing the dirt.
4303 Meantime tea was to be brought in by the cook, and the two naughty
4304 children were to have theirs in an ignominious manner in the kitchen.
4305 Mrs. Tulliver went out to speak to these naughty children, supposing
4306 them to be close at hand; but it was not until after some search that
4307 she found Tom leaning with rather a hardened, careless air against the
4308 white paling of the poultry-yard, and lowering his piece of string on
4309 the other side as a means of exasperating the turkey-cock.
4310
4311 "Tom, you naughty boy, where's your sister?" said Mrs. Tulliver, in a
4312 distressed voice.
4313
4314 "I don't know," said Tom; his eagerness for justice on Maggie had
4315 diminished since he had seen clearly that it could hardly be brought
4316 about without the injustice of some blame on his own conduct.
4317
4318 "Why, where did you leave her?" said the mother, looking round.
4319
4320 "Sitting under the tree, against the pond," said Tom, apparently
4321 indifferent to everything but the string and the turkey-cock.
4322
4323 "Then go and fetch her in this minute, you naughty boy. And how could
4324 you think o' going to the pond, and taking your sister where there was
4325 dirt? You know she'll do mischief if there's mischief to be done."
4326
4327 It was Mrs. Tulliver's way, if she blamed Tom, to refer his
4328 misdemeanor, somehow or other, to Maggie.
4329
4330 The idea of Maggie sitting alone by the pond roused an habitual fear
4331 in Mrs. Tulliver's mind, and she mounted the horse-block to satisfy
4332 herself by a sight of that fatal child, while Tom walked--not very
4333 quickly--on his way toward her.
4334
4335 "They're such children for the water, mine are," she said aloud,
4336 without reflecting that there was no one to hear her; "they'll be
4337 brought in dead and drownded some day. I wish that river was far
4338 enough."
4339
4340 But when she not only failed to discern Maggie, but presently saw Tom
4341 returning from the pool alone, this hovering fear entered and took
4342 complete possession of her, and she hurried to meet him.
4343
4344 "Maggie's nowhere about the pond, mother," said Tom; "she's gone
4345 away."
4346
4347 You may conceive the terrified search for Maggie, and the difficulty
4348 of convincing her mother that she was not in the pond. Mrs. Pullet
4349 observed that the child might come to a worse end if she lived, there
4350 was no knowing; and Mr. Pullet, confused and overwhelmed by this
4351 revolutionary aspect of things,--the tea deferred and the poultry
4352 alarmed by the unusual running to and fro,--took up his spud as an
4353 instrument of search, and reached down a key to unlock the goose-pen,
4354 as a likely place for Maggie to lie concealed in.
4355
4356 Tom, after a while, started the idea that Maggie was gone home
4357 (without thinking it necessary to state that it was what he should
4358 have done himself under the circumstances), and the suggestion was
4359 seized as a comfort by his mother.
4360
4361 "Sister, for goodness' sake let 'em put the horse in the carriage and
4362 take me home; we shall perhaps find her on the road. Lucy can't walk
4363 in her dirty clothes," she said, looking at that innocent victim, who
4364 was wrapped up in a shawl, and sitting with naked feet on the sofa.
4365
4366 Aunt Pullet was quite willing to take the shortest means of restoring
4367 her premises to order and quiet, and it was not long before Mrs.
4368 Tulliver was in the chaise, looking anxiously at the most distant
4369 point before her. What the father would say if Maggie was lost, was a
4370 question that predominated over every other.
4371
4372
4373
4374 Chapter XI
4375
4376 Maggie Tries to Run away from Her Shadow
4377
4378
4379 Maggie's intentions, as usual, were on a larger scale than Tom
4380 imagined. The resolution that gathered in her mind, after Tom and Lucy
4381 had walked away, was not so simple as that of going home. No! she
4382 would run away and go to the gypsies, and Tom should never see her any
4383 more. That was by no means a new idea to Maggie; she had been so often
4384 told she was like a gypsy, and "half wild," that when she was
4385 miserable it seemed to her the only way of escaping opprobrium, and
4386 being entirely in harmony with circumstances, would be to live in a
4387 little brown tent on the commons; the gypsies, she considered, would
4388 gladly receive her and pay her much respect on account of her superior
4389 knowledge. She had once mentioned her views on this point to Tom and
4390 suggested that he should stain his face brown, and they should run
4391 away together; but Tom rejected the scheme with contempt, observing
4392 that gypsies were thieves, and hardly got anything to eat and had
4393 nothing to drive but a donkey. To-day however, Maggie thought her
4394 misery had reached a pitch at which gypsydom was her refuge, and she
4395 rose from her seat on the roots of the tree with the sense that this
4396 was a great crisis in her life; she would run straight away till she
4397 came to Dunlow Common, where there would certainly be gypsies; and
4398 cruel Tom, and the rest of her relations who found fault with her,
4399 should never see her any more. She thought of her father as she ran
4400 along, but she reconciled herself to the idea of parting with him, by
4401 determining that she would secretly send him a letter by a small
4402 gypsy, who would run away without telling where she was, and just let
4403 him know that she was well and happy, and always loved him very much.
4404
4405 Maggie soon got out of breath with running, but by the time Tom got to
4406 the pond again she was at the distance of three long fields, and was
4407 on the edge of the lane leading to the highroad. She stopped to pant a
4408 little, reflecting that running away was not a pleasant thing until
4409 one had got quite to the common where the gypsies were, but her
4410 resolution had not abated; she presently passed through the gate into
4411 the lane, not knowing where it would lead her, for it was not this way
4412 that they came from Dorlcote Mill to Garum Firs, and she felt all the
4413 safer for that, because there was no chance of her being overtaken.
4414 But she was soon aware, not without trembling, that there were two men
4415 coming along the lane in front of her; she had not thought of meeting
4416 strangers, she had been too much occupied with the idea of her friends
4417 coming after her. The formidable strangers were two shabby-looking men
4418 with flushed faces, one of them carrying a bundle on a stick over his
4419 shoulder; but to her surprise, while she was dreading their
4420 disapprobation as a runaway, the man with the bundle stopped, and in a
4421 half-whining, half-coaxing tone asked her if she had a copper to give
4422 a poor man. Maggie had a sixpence in her pocket,--her uncle Glegg's
4423 present,--which she immediately drew out and gave this poor man with a
4424 polite smile, hoping he would feel very kindly toward her as a
4425 generous person. "That's the only money I've got," she said
4426 apologetically. "Thank you, little miss," said the man, in a less
4427 respectful and grateful tone than Maggie anticipated, and she even
4428 observed that he smiled and winked at his companion. She walked on
4429 hurriedly, but was aware that the two men were standing still,
4430 probably to look after her, and she presently heard them laughing
4431 loudly. Suddenly it occurred to her that they might think she was an
4432 idiot; Tom had said that her cropped hair made her look like an idiot,
4433 and it was too painful an idea to be readily forgotten. Besides, she
4434 had no sleeves on,--only a cape and bonnet. It was clear that she was
4435 not likely to make a favorable impression on passengers, and she
4436 thought she would turn into the fields again, but not on the same side
4437 of the lane as before, lest they should still be uncle Pullet's
4438 fields. She turned through the first gate that was not locked, and
4439 felt a delightful sense of privacy in creeping along by the hedgerows,
4440 after her recent humiliating encounter. She was used to wandering
4441 about the fields by herself, and was less timid there than on the
4442 highroad. Sometimes she had to climb over high gates, but that was a
4443 small evil; she was getting out of reach very fast, and she should
4444 probably soon come within sight of Dunlow Common, or at least of some
4445 other common, for she had heard her father say that you couldn't go
4446 very far without coming to a common. She hoped so, for she was getting
4447 rather tired and hungry, and until she reached the gypsies there was
4448 no definite prospect of bread and butter. It was still broad daylight,
4449 for aunt Pullet, retaining the early habits of the Dodson family, took
4450 tea at half-past four by the sun, and at five by the kitchen clock;
4451 so, though it was nearly an hour since Maggie started, there was no
4452 gathering gloom on the fields to remind her that the night would come.
4453 Still, it seemed to her that she had been walking a very great
4454 distance indeed, and it was really surprising that the common did not
4455 come within sight. Hitherto she had been in the rich parish of Garum,
4456 where was a great deal of pasture-land, and she had only seen one
4457 laborer at a distance. That was fortunate in some respects, as
4458 laborers might be too ignorant to understand the propriety of her
4459 wanting to go to Dunlow Common; yet it would have been better if she
4460 could have met some one who would tell her the way without wanting to
4461 know anything about her private business. At last, however, the green
4462 fields came to an end, and Maggie found herself looking through the
4463 bars of a gate into a lane with a wide margin of grass on each side of
4464 it. She had never seen such a wide lane before, and, without her
4465 knowing why, it gave her the impression that the common could not be
4466 far off; perhaps it was because she saw a donkey with a log to his
4467 foot feeding on the grassy margin, for she had seen a donkey with that
4468 pitiable encumbrance on Dunlow Common when she had been across it in
4469 her father's gig. She crept through the bars of the gate and walked on
4470 with new spirit, though not without haunting images of Apollyon, and a
4471 highwayman with a pistol, and a blinking dwarf in yellow with a mouth
4472 from ear to ear, and other miscellaneous dangers. For poor little
4473 Maggie had at once the timidity of an active imagination and the
4474 daring that comes from overmastering impulse. She had rushed into the
4475 adventure of seeking her unknown kindred, the gypsies; and now she was
4476 in this strange lane, she hardly dared look on one side of her, lest
4477 she should see the diabolical blacksmith in his leathern apron
4478 grinning at her with arms akimbo. It was not without a leaping of the
4479 heart that she caught sight of a small pair of bare legs sticking up,
4480 feet uppermost, by the side of a hillock; they seemed something
4481 hideously preternatural,--a diabolical kind of fungus; for she was too
4482 much agitated at the first glance to see the ragged clothes and the
4483 dark shaggy head attached to them. It was a boy asleep, and Maggie
4484 trotted along faster and more lightly, lest she should wake him; it
4485 did not occur to her that he was one of her friends the gypsies, who
4486 in all probability would have very genial manners. But the fact was
4487 so, for at the next bend in the lane Maggie actually saw the little
4488 semicircular black tent with the blue smoke rising before it, which
4489 was to be her refuge from all the blighting obloquy that had pursued
4490 her in civilized life. She even saw a tall female figure by the column
4491 of smoke, doubtless the gypsy-mother, who provided the tea and other
4492 groceries; it was astonishing to herself that she did not feel more
4493 delighted. But it was startling to find the gypsies in a lane, after
4494 all, and not on a common; indeed, it was rather disappointing; for a
4495 mysterious illimitable common, where there were sand-pits to hide in,
4496 and one was out of everybody's reach, had always made part of Maggie's
4497 picture of gypsy life. She went on, however, and thought with some
4498 comfort that gypsies most likely knew nothing about idiots, so there
4499 was no danger of their falling into the mistake of setting her down at
4500 the first glance as an idiot. It was plain she had attracted
4501 attention; for the tall figure, who proved to be a young woman with a
4502 baby on her arm, walked slowly to meet her. Maggie looked up in the
4503 new face rather tremblingly as it approached, and was reassured by the
4504 thought that her aunt Pullet and the rest were right when they called
4505 her a gypsy; for this face, with the bright dark eyes and the long
4506 hair, was really something like what she used to see in the glass
4507 before she cut her hair off.
4508
4509 "My little lady, where are you going to?" the gypsy said, in a tone of
4510 coaxing deference.
4511
4512 It was delightful, and just what Maggie expected; the gypsies saw at
4513 once that she was a little lady, and were prepared to treat her
4514 accordingly.
4515
4516 "Not any farther," said Maggie, feeling as if she were saying what she
4517 had rehearsed in a dream. "I'm come to stay with _you_, please."
4518
4519 "That's pretty; come, then. Why, what a nice little lady you are, to
4520 be sure!" said the gypsy, taking her by the hand. Maggie thought her
4521 very agreeable, but wished she had not been so dirty.
4522
4523 There was quite a group round the fire when she reached it. An old
4524 gypsy woman was seated on the ground nursing her knees, and
4525 occasionally poking a skewer into the round kettle that sent forth an
4526 odorous steam; two small shock-headed children were lying prone and
4527 resting on their elbows something like small sphinxes; and a placid
4528 donkey was bending his head over a tall girl, who, lying on her back,
4529 was scratching his nose and indulging him with a bite of excellent
4530 stolen hay. The slanting sunlight fell kindly upon them, and the scene
4531 was really very pretty and comfortable, Maggie thought, only she hoped
4532 they would soon set out the tea-cups. Everything would be quite
4533 charming when she had taught the gypsies to use a washing-basin, and
4534 to feel an interest in books. It was a little confusing, though, that
4535 the young woman began to speak to the old one in a language which
4536 Maggie did not understand, while the tall girl, who was feeding the
4537 donkey, sat up and stared at her without offering any salutation. At
4538 last the old woman said,--
4539
4540 "What! my pretty lady, are you come to stay with us? Sit ye down and
4541 tell us where you come from."
4542
4543 It was just like a story; Maggie liked to be called pretty lady and
4544 treated in this way. She sat down and said,--
4545
4546 "I'm come from home because I'm unhappy, and I mean to be a gypsy.
4547 I'll live with you if you like, and I can teach you a great many
4548 things."
4549
4550 "Such a clever little lady," said the woman with the baby sitting down
4551 by Maggie, and allowing baby to crawl; "and such a pretty bonnet and
4552 frock," she added, taking off Maggie's bonnet and looking at it while
4553 she made an observation to the old woman, in the unknown language. The
4554 tall girl snatched the bonnet and put it on her own head hind-foremost
4555 with a grin; but Maggie was determined not to show any weakness on
4556 this subject, as if she were susceptible about her bonnet.
4557
4558 "I don't want to wear a bonnet," she said; "I'd rather wear a red
4559 handkerchief, like yours" (looking at her friend by her side). "My
4560 hair was quite long till yesterday, when I cut it off; but I dare say
4561 it will grow again very soon," she added apologetically, thinking it
4562 probable the gypsies had a strong prejudice in favor of long hair. And
4563 Maggie had forgotten even her hunger at that moment in the desire to
4564 conciliate gypsy opinion.
4565
4566 "Oh, what a nice little lady!--and rich, I'm sure," said the old
4567 woman. "Didn't you live in a beautiful house at home?"
4568
4569 "Yes, my home is pretty, and I'm very fond of the river, where we go
4570 fishing, but I'm often very unhappy. I should have liked to bring my
4571 books with me, but I came away in a hurry, you know. But I can tell
4572 you almost everything there is in my books, I've read them so many
4573 times, and that will amuse you. And I can tell you something about
4574 Geography too,--that's about the world we live in,--very useful and
4575 interesting. Did you ever hear about Columbus?"
4576
4577 Maggie's eyes had begun to sparkle and her cheeks to flush,--she was
4578 really beginning to instruct the gypsies, and gaining great influence
4579 over them. The gypsies themselves were not without amazement at this
4580 talk, though their attention was divided by the contents of Maggie's
4581 pocket, which the friend at her right hand had by this time emptied
4582 without attracting her notice.
4583
4584 "Is that where you live, my little lady?" said the old woman, at the
4585 mention of Columbus.
4586
4587 "Oh, no!" said Maggie, with some pity; "Columbus was a very wonderful
4588 man, who found out half the world, and they put chains on him and
4589 treated him very badly, you know; it's in my Catechism of Geography,
4590 but perhaps it's rather too long to tell before tea--_I want my tea
4591 so_."
4592
4593 The last words burst from Maggie, in spite of herself, with a sudden
4594 drop from patronizing instruction to simple peevishness.
4595
4596 "Why, she's hungry, poor little lady," said the younger woman. "Give
4597 her some o' the cold victual. You've been walking a good way, I'll be
4598 bound, my dear. Where's your home?"
4599
4600 "It's Dorlcote Mill, a good way off," said Maggie. "My father is Mr.
4601 Tulliver, but we mustn't let him know where I am, else he'll fetch me
4602 home again. Where does the queen of the gypsies live?"
4603
4604 "What! do you want to go to her, my little lady?" said the younger
4605 woman. The tall girl meanwhile was constantly staring at Maggie and
4606 grinning. Her manners were certainly not agreeable.
4607
4608 "No," said Maggie, "I'm only thinking that if she isn't a very good
4609 queen you might be glad when she died, and you could choose another.
4610 If I was a queen, I'd be a very good queen, and kind to everybody."
4611
4612 "Here's a bit o' nice victual, then," said the old woman, handing to
4613 Maggie a lump of dry bread, which she had taken from a bag of scraps,
4614 and a piece of cold bacon.
4615
4616 "Thank you,' said Maggie, looking at the food without taking it; "but
4617 will you give me some bread-and-butter and tea instead? I don't like
4618 bacon."
4619
4620 "We've got no tea nor butter," said the old woman, with something like
4621 a scowl, as if she were getting tired of coaxing.
4622
4623 "Oh, a little bread and treacle would do," said Maggie.
4624
4625 "We han't got no treacle," said the old woman, crossly, whereupon
4626 there followed a sharp dialogue between the two women in their unknown
4627 tongue, and one of the small sphinxes snatched at the bread-and-bacon,
4628 and began to eat it. At this moment the tall girl, who had gone a few
4629 yards off, came back, and said something which produced a strong
4630 effect. The old woman, seeming to forget Maggie's hunger, poked the
4631 skewer into the pot with new vigor, and the younger crept under the
4632 tent and reached out some platters and spoons. Maggie trembled a
4633 little, and was afraid the tears would come into her eyes. Meanwhile
4634 the tall girl gave a shrill cry, and presently came running up the boy
4635 whom Maggie had passed as he was sleeping,--a rough urchin about the
4636 age of Tom. He stared at Maggie, and there ensued much incomprehensible
4637 chattering. She felt very lonely, and was quite sure she should begin to
4638 cry before long; the gypsies didn't seem to mind her at all, and she felt
4639 quite weak among them. But the springing tears were checked by new
4640 terror, when two men came up, whose approach had been the cause
4641 of the sudden excitement. The elder of the two carried a bag, which
4642 he flung down, addressing the women in a loud and scolding tone,
4643 which they answered by a shower of treble sauciness; while a black
4644 cur ran barking up to Maggie, and threw her into a tremor that only
4645 found a new cause in the curses with which the younger man called
4646 the dog off, and gave him a rap with a great stick he held in his hand.
4647
4648 Maggie felt that it was impossible she should ever be queen of these
4649 people, or ever communicate to them amusing and useful knowledge.
4650
4651 Both the men now seemed to be inquiring about Maggie, for they looked
4652 at her, and the tone of the conversation became of that pacific kind
4653 which implies curiosity on one side and the power of satisfying it on
4654 the other. At last the younger woman said in her previous deferential,
4655 coaxing tone,--
4656
4657 "This nice little lady's come to live with us; aren't you glad?"
4658
4659 "Ay, very glad," said the younger man, who was looking at Maggie's
4660 silver thimble and other small matters that had been taken from her
4661 pocket. He returned them all except the thimble to the younger woman,
4662 with some observation, and she immediately restored them to Maggie's
4663 pocket, while the men seated themselves, and began to attack the
4664 contents of the kettle,--a stew of meat and potatoes,--which had been
4665 taken off the fire and turned out into a yellow platter.
4666
4667 Maggie began to think that Tom must be right about the gypsies; they
4668 must certainly be thieves, unless the man meant to return her thimble
4669 by and by. She would willingly have given it to him, for she was not
4670 at all attached to her thimble; but the idea that she was among
4671 thieves prevented her from feeling any comfort in the revival of
4672 deference and attention toward her; all thieves, except Robin Hood,
4673 were wicked people. The women saw she was frightened.
4674
4675 "We've got nothing nice for a lady to eat," said the old woman, in her
4676 coaxing tone. "And she's so hungry, sweet little lady."
4677
4678 "Here, my dear, try if you can eat a bit o' this," said the younger
4679 woman, handing some of the stew on a brown dish with an iron spoon to
4680 Maggie, who, remembering that the old woman had seemed angry with her
4681 for not liking the bread-and-bacon, dared not refuse the stew, though
4682 fear had chased away her appetite. If her father would but come by in
4683 the gig and take her up! Or even if Jack the Giantkiller, or Mr.
4684 Greatheart, or St. George who slew the dragon on the half-pennies,
4685 would happen to pass that way! But Maggie thought with a sinking heart
4686 that these heroes were never seen in the neighborhood of St. Ogg's;
4687 nothing very wonderful ever came there.
4688
4689 Maggie Tulliver, you perceive, was by no means that well trained,
4690 well-informed young person that a small female of eight or nine
4691 necessarily is in these days; she had only been to school a year at
4692 St. Ogg's, and had so few books that she sometimes read the
4693 dictionary; so that in travelling over her small mind you would have
4694 found the most unexpected ignorance as well as unexpected knowledge.
4695 She could have informed you that there was such a word as "polygamy,"
4696 and being also acquainted with "polysyllable," she had deduced the
4697 conclusion that "poly" mean "many"; but she had had no idea that
4698 gypsies were not well supplied with groceries, and her thoughts
4699 generally were the oddest mixture of clear-eyed acumen and blind
4700 dreams.
4701
4702 Her ideas about the gypsies had undergone a rapid modification in the
4703 last five minutes. From having considered them very respectful
4704 companions, amenable to instruction, she had begun to think that they
4705 meant perhaps to kill her as soon as it was dark, and cut up her body
4706 for gradual cooking; the suspicion crossed her that the fierce-eyed
4707 old man was in fact the Devil, who might drop that transparent
4708 disguise at any moment, and turn either into the grinning blacksmith,
4709 or else a fiery-eyed monster with dragon's wings. It was no use trying
4710 to eat the stew, and yet the thing she most dreaded was to offend the
4711 gypsies, by betraying her extremely unfavorable opinion of them; and
4712 she wondered, with a keenness of interest that no theologian could
4713 have exceeded, whether, if the Devil were really present, he would
4714 know her thoughts.
4715
4716 "What! you don't like the smell of it, my dear," said the young woman,
4717 observing that Maggie did not even take a spoonful of the stew. "Try a
4718 bit, come."
4719
4720 "No, thank you," said Maggie, summoning all her force for a desperate
4721 effort, and trying to smile in a friendly way. "I haven't time, I
4722 think; it seems getting darker. I think I must go home now, and come
4723 again another day, and then I can bring you a basket with some
4724 jam-tarts and things."
4725
4726 Maggie rose from her seat as she threw out this illusory prospect,
4727 devoutly hoping that Apollyon was gullible; but her hope sank when the
4728 old gypsy-woman said, "Stop a bit, stop a bit, little lady; we'll take
4729 you home, all safe, when we've done supper; you shall ride home, like
4730 a lady."
4731
4732 Maggie sat down again, with little faith in this promise, though she
4733 presently saw the tall girl putting a bridle on the donkey, and
4734 throwing a couple of bags on his back.
4735
4736 "Now, then, little missis," said the younger man, rising, and leading
4737 the donkey forward, "tell us where you live; what's the name o' the
4738 place?"
4739
4740 "Dorlcote Mill is my home," said Maggie, eagerly. "My father is Mr.
4741 Tulliver; he lives there."
4742
4743 "What! a big mill a little way this side o' St. Ogg's?"
4744
4745 "Yes," said Maggie. "Is it far off? I think I should like to walk
4746 there, if you please."
4747
4748 "No, no, it'll be getting dark, we must make haste. And the donkey'll
4749 carry you as nice as can be; you'll see."
4750
4751 He lifted Maggie as he spoke, and set her on the donkey. She felt
4752 relieved that it was not the old man who seemed to be going with her,
4753 but she had only a trembling hope that she was really going home.
4754
4755 "Here's your pretty bonnet," said the younger woman, putting that
4756 recently despised but now welcome article of costume on Maggie's head;
4757 "and you'll say we've been very good to you, won't you? and what a
4758 nice little lady we said you was."
4759
4760 "Oh yes, thank you," said Maggie, "I'm very much obliged to you. But I
4761 wish you'd go with me too." She thought anything was better than going
4762 with one of the dreadful men alone; it would be more cheerful to be
4763 murdered by a larger party.
4764
4765 "Ah, you're fondest o' _me_, aren't you?" said the woman. "But I can't
4766 go; you'll go too fast for me."
4767
4768 It now appeared that the man also was to be seated on the donkey,
4769 holding Maggie before him, and she was as incapable of remonstrating
4770 against this arrangement as the donkey himself, though no nightmare
4771 had ever seemed to her more horrible. When the woman had patted her on
4772 the back, and said "Good-by," the donkey, at a strong hint from the
4773 man's stick, set off at a rapid walk along the lane toward the point
4774 Maggie had come from an hour ago, while the tall girl and the rough
4775 urchin, also furnished with sticks, obligingly escorted them for the
4776 first hundred yards, with much screaming and thwacking.
4777
4778 Not Leonore, in that preternatural midnight excursion with her phantom
4779 lover, was more terrified than poor Maggie in this entirely natural
4780 ride on a short-paced donkey, with a gypsy behind her, who considered
4781 that he was earning half a crown. The red light of the setting sun
4782 seemed to have a portentous meaning, with which the alarming bray of
4783 the second donkey with the log on its foot must surely have some
4784 connection. Two low thatched cottages--the only houses they passed in
4785 this lane--seemed to add to its dreariness; they had no windows to
4786 speak of, and the doors were closed; it was probable that they were
4787 inhabitated by witches, and it was a relief to find that the donkey
4788 did not stop there.
4789
4790 At last--oh, sight of joy!--this lane, the longest in the world, was
4791 coming to an end, was opening on a broad highroad, where there was
4792 actually a coach passing! And there was a finger-post at the
4793 corner,--she had surely seen that finger-post before,--"To St. Ogg's,
4794 2 miles." The gypsy really meant to take her home, then; he was
4795 probably a good man, after all, and might have been rather hurt at the
4796 thought that she didn't like coming with him alone. This idea became
4797 stronger as she felt more and more certain that she knew the road
4798 quite well, and she was considering how she might open a conversation
4799 with the injured gypsy, and not only gratify his feelings but efface
4800 the impression of her cowardice, when, as they reached a cross-road.
4801 Maggie caught sight of some one coming on a white-faced horse.
4802
4803 "Oh, stop, stop!" she cried out. "There's my father! Oh, father,
4804 father!"
4805
4806 The sudden joy was almost painful, and before her father reached her,
4807 she was sobbing. Great was Mr. Tulliver's wonder, for he had made a
4808 round from Basset, and had not yet been home.
4809
4810 "Why, what's the meaning o' this?" he said, checking his horse, while
4811 Maggie slipped from the donkey and ran to her father's stirrup.
4812
4813 "The little miss lost herself, I reckon," said the gypsy. "She'd come
4814 to our tent at the far end o' Dunlow Lane, and I was bringing her
4815 where she said her home was. It's a good way to come after being on
4816 the tramp all day."
4817
4818 "Oh yes, father, he's been very good to bring me home," said
4819 Maggie,--"a very kind, good man!"
4820
4821 "Here, then, my man," said Mr. Tulliver, taking out five shillings.
4822 "It's the best day's work _you_ ever did. I couldn't afford to lose
4823 the little wench; here, lift her up before me."
4824
4825 "Why, Maggie, how's this, how's this?" he said, as they rode along,
4826 while she laid her head against her father and sobbed. "How came you
4827 to be rambling about and lose yourself?"
4828
4829 "Oh, father," sobbed Maggie, "I ran away because I was so unhappy; Tom
4830 was so angry with me. I couldn't bear it."
4831
4832 "Pooh, pooh," said Mr. Tulliver, soothingly, "you mustn't think o'
4833 running away from father. What 'ud father do without his little
4834 wench?"
4835
4836 "Oh no, I never will again, father--never."
4837
4838 Mr. Tulliver spoke his mind very strongly when he reached home that
4839 evening; and the effect was seen in the remarkable fact that Maggie
4840 never heard one reproach from her mother, or one taunt from Tom, about
4841 this foolish business of her running away to the gypsies. Maggie was
4842 rather awe-stricken by this unusual treatment, and sometimes thought
4843 that her conduct had been too wicked to be alluded to.
4844
4845
4846
4847 Chapter XII
4848
4849 Mr. and Mrs. Glegg at Home
4850
4851
4852 In order to see Mr. and Mrs. Glegg at home, we must enter the town of
4853 St. Ogg's,--that venerable town with the red fluted roofs and the
4854 broad warehouse gables, where the black ships unlade themselves of
4855 their burthens from the far north, and carry away, in exchange, the
4856 precious inland products, the well-crushed cheese and the soft fleeces
4857 which my refined readers have doubtless become acquainted with through
4858 the medium of the best classic pastorals.
4859
4860 It is one of those old, old towns which impress one as a continuation
4861 and outgrowth of nature, as much as the nests of the bower-birds or
4862 the winding galleries of the white ants; a town which carries the
4863 traces of its long growth and history like a millennial tree, and has
4864 sprung up and developed in the same spot between the river and the low
4865 hill from the time when the Roman legions turned their backs on it
4866 from the camp on the hillside, and the long-haired sea-kings came up
4867 the river and looked with fierce, eager eyes at the fatness of the
4868 land. It is a town "familiar with forgotten years." The shadow of the
4869 Saxon hero-king still walks there fitfully, reviewing the scenes of
4870 his youth and love-time, and is met by the gloomier shadow of the
4871 dreadful heathen Dane, who was stabbed in the midst of his warriors by
4872 the sword of an invisible avenger, and who rises on autumn evenings
4873 like a white mist from his tumulus on the hill, and hovers in the
4874 court of the old hall by the river-side, the spot where he was thus
4875 miraculously slain in the days before the old hall was built. It was
4876 the Normans who began to build that fine old hall, which is, like the
4877 town, telling of the thoughts and hands of widely sundered
4878 generations; but it is all so old that we look with loving pardon at
4879 its inconsistencies, and are well content that they who built the
4880 stone oriel, and they who built the Gothic façade and towers of finest
4881 small brickwork with the trefoil ornament, and the windows and
4882 battlements defined with stone, did not sacreligiously pull down the
4883 ancient half-timbered body with its oak-roofed banqueting-hall.
4884
4885 But older even than this old hall is perhaps the bit of wall now built
4886 into the belfry of the parish church, and said to be a remnant of the
4887 original chapel dedicated to St. Ogg, the patron saint of this ancient
4888 town, of whose history I possess several manuscript versions. I
4889 incline to the briefest, since, if it should not be wholly true, it is
4890 at least likely to contain the least falsehood. "Ogg the son of
4891 Beorl," says my private hagiographer, "was a boatman who gained a
4892 scanty living by ferrying passengers across the river Floss. And it
4893 came to pass, one evening when the winds were high, that there sat
4894 moaning by the brink of the river a woman with a child in her arms;
4895 and she was clad in rags, and had a worn and withered look, and she
4896 craved to be rowed across the river. And the men thereabout questioned
4897 her, and said, 'Wherefore dost thou desire to cross the river? Tarry
4898 till the morning, and take shelter here for the night; so shalt thou
4899 be wise and not foolish.' Still she went on to mourn and crave. But
4900 Ogg the son of Beorl came up and said, 'I will ferry thee across; it
4901 is enough that thy heart needs it.' And he ferried her across. And it
4902 came to pass, when she stepped ashore, that her rags were turned into
4903 robes of flowing white, and her face became bright with exceeding
4904 beauty, and there was a glory around it, so that she shed a light on
4905 the water like the moon in its brightness. And she said, 'Ogg, the son
4906 of Beorl, thou art blessed in that thou didst not question and wrangle
4907 with the heart's need, but wast smitten with pity, and didst
4908 straightway relieve the same. And from henceforth whoso steps into thy
4909 boat shall be in no peril from the storm; and whenever it puts forth
4910 to the rescue, it shall save the lives both of men and beasts.' And
4911 when the floods came, many were saved by reason of that blessing on
4912 the boat. But when Ogg the son of Beorl died, behold, in the parting
4913 of his soul, the boat loosed itself from its moorings, and was floated
4914 with the ebbing tide in great swiftness to the ocean, and was seen no
4915 more. Yet it was witnessed in the floods of aftertime, that at the
4916 coming on of eventide, Ogg the son of Beorl was always seen with his
4917 boat upon the wide-spreading waters, and the Blessed Virgin sat in the
4918 prow, shedding a light around as of the moon in its brightness, so
4919 that the rowers in the gathering darkness took heart and pulled anew."
4920
4921 This legend, one sees, reflects from a far-off time the visitation of
4922 the floods, which, even when they left human life untouched, were
4923 widely fatal to the helpless cattle, and swept as sudden death over
4924 all smaller living things. But the town knew worse troubles even than
4925 the floods,--troubles of the civil wars, when it was a continual
4926 fighting-place, where first Puritans thanked God for the blood of the
4927 Loyalists, and then Loyalists thanked God for the blood of the
4928 Puritans. Many honest citizens lost all their possessions for
4929 conscience' sake in those times, and went forth beggared from their
4930 native town. Doubtless there are many houses standing now on which
4931 those honest citizens turned their backs in sorrow,--quaint-gabled
4932 houses looking on the river, jammed between newer warehouses, and
4933 penetrated by surprising passages, which turn and turn at sharp angles
4934 till they lead you out on a muddy strand overflowed continually by the
4935 rushing tide. Everywhere the brick houses have a mellow look, and in
4936 Mrs. Glegg's day there was no incongruous new-fashioned smartness, no
4937 plate-glass in shop-windows, no fresh stucco-facing or other
4938 fallacious attempt to make fine old red St. Ogg's wear the air of a
4939 town that sprang up yesterday. The shop-windows were small and
4940 unpretending; for the farmers' wives and daughters who came to do
4941 their shopping on market-days were not to be withdrawn from their
4942 regular well-known shops; and the tradesmen had no wares intended for
4943 customers who would go on their way and be seen no more. Ah! even Mrs.
4944 Glegg's day seems far back in the past now, separated from us by
4945 changes that widen the years. War and the rumor of war had then died
4946 out from the minds of men, and if they were ever thought of by the
4947 farmers in drab greatcoats, who shook the grain out of their
4948 sample-bags and buzzed over it in the full market-place, it was as a
4949 state of things that belonged to a past golden age when prices were
4950 high. Surely the time was gone forever when the broad river could
4951 bring up unwelcome ships; Russia was only the place where the linseed
4952 came from,--the more the better,--making grist for the great vertical
4953 millstones with their scythe-like arms, roaring and grinding and
4954 carefully sweeping as if an informing soul were in them. The
4955 Catholics, bad harvests, and the mysterious fluctuations of trade were
4956 the three evils mankind had to fear; even the floods had not been
4957 great of late years. The mind of St. Ogg's did not look extensively
4958 before or after. It inherited a long past without thinking of it, and
4959 had no eyes for the spirits that walk the streets. Since the centuries
4960 when St. Ogg with his boat and the Virgin Mother at the prow had been
4961 seen on the wide water, so many memories had been left behind, and had
4962 gradually vanished like the receding hilltops! And the present time
4963 was like the level plain where men lose their belief in volcanoes and
4964 earthquakes, thinking to-morrow will be as yesterday, and the giant
4965 forces that used to shake the earth are forever laid to sleep. The
4966 days were gone when people could be greatly wrought upon by their
4967 faith, still less change it; the Catholics were formidable because
4968 they would lay hold of government and property, and burn men alive;
4969 not because any sane and honest parishioner of St. Ogg's could be
4970 brought to believe in the Pope. One aged person remembered how a rude
4971 multitude had been swayed when John Wesley preached in the
4972 cattle-market; but for a long while it had not been expected of
4973 preachers that they should shake the souls of men. An occasional burst
4974 of fervor in Dissenting pulpits on the subject of infant baptism was
4975 the only symptom of a zeal unsuited to sober times when men had done
4976 with change. Protestantism sat at ease, unmindful of schisms, careless
4977 of proselytism: Dissent was an inheritance along with a superior pew
4978 and a business connection; and Churchmanship only wondered
4979 contemptuously at Dissent as a foolish habit that clung greatly to
4980 families in the grocery and chandlering lines, though not incompatible
4981 with prosperous wholesale dealing. But with the Catholic Question had
4982 come a slight wind of controversy to break the calm: the elderly
4983 rector had become occasionally historical and argumentative; and Mr.
4984 Spray, the Independent minister, had begun to preach political
4985 sermons, in which he distinguished with much subtlety between his
4986 fervent belief in the right of the Catholics to the franchise and his
4987 fervent belief in their eternal perdition. Most of Mr. Spray's
4988 hearers, however, were incapable of following his subtleties, and many
4989 old-fashioned Dissenters were much pained by his "siding with the
4990 Catholics"; while others thought he had better let politics alone.
4991 Public spirit was not held in high esteem at St. Ogg's, and men who
4992 busied themselves with political questions were regarded with some
4993 suspicion, as dangerous characters; they were usually persons who had
4994 little or no business of their own to manage, or, if they had, were
4995 likely enough to become insolvent.
4996
4997 This was the general aspect of things at St. Ogg's in Mrs. Glegg's
4998 day, and at that particular period in her family history when she had
4999 had her quarrel with Mr. Tulliver. It was a time when ignorance was
5000 much more comfortable than at present, and was received with all the
5001 honors in very good society, without being obliged to dress itself in
5002 an elaborate costume of knowledge; a time when cheap periodicals were
5003 not, and when country surgeons never thought of asking their female
5004 patients if they were fond of reading, but simply took it for granted
5005 that they preferred gossip; a time when ladies in rich silk gowns wore
5006 large pockets, in which they carried a mutton-bone to secure them
5007 against cramp. Mrs. Glegg carried such a bone, which she had inherited
5008 from her grandmother with a brocaded gown that would stand up empty,
5009 like a suit of armor, and a silver-headed walking-stick; for the
5010 Dodson family had been respectable for many generations.
5011
5012 Mrs. Glegg had both a front and a back parlor in her excellent house
5013 at St. Ogg's, so that she had two points of view from which she could
5014 observe the weakness of her fellow-beings, and reinforce her
5015 thankfulness for her own exceptional strength of mind. From her front
5016 window she could look down the Tofton Road, leading out of St. Ogg's,
5017 and note the growing tendency to "gadding about" in the wives of men
5018 not retired from business, together with a practice of wearing woven
5019 cotton stockings, which opened a dreary prospect for the coming
5020 generation; and from her back windows she could look down the pleasant
5021 garden and orchard which stretched to the river, and observe the folly
5022 of Mr. Glegg in spending his time among "them flowers and vegetables."
5023 For Mr. Glegg, having retired from active business as a wool-stapler
5024 for the purpose of enjoying himself through the rest of his life, had
5025 found this last occupation so much more severe than his business, that
5026 he had been driven into amateur hard labor as a dissipation, and
5027 habitually relaxed by doing the work of two ordinary gardeners. The
5028 economizing of a gardener's wages might perhaps have induced Mrs.
5029 Glegg to wink at this folly, if it were possible for a healthy female
5030 mind even to simulate respect for a husband's hobby. But it is well
5031 known that this conjugal complacency belongs only to the weaker
5032 portion of the sex, who are scarcely alive to the responsibilities of
5033 a wife as a constituted check on her husband's pleasures, which are
5034 hardly ever of a rational or commendable kind.
5035
5036 Mr. Glegg on his side, too, had a double source of mental occupation,
5037 which gave every promise of being inexhaustible. On the one hand, he
5038 surprised himself by his discoveries in natural history, finding that
5039 his piece of garden-ground contained wonderful caterpillars, slugs,
5040 and insects, which, so far as he had heard, had never before attracted
5041 human observation; and he noticed remarkable coincidences between
5042 these zoological phenomena and the great events of that time,--as, for
5043 example, that before the burning of York Minster there had been
5044 mysterious serpentine marks on the leaves of the rose-trees, together
5045 with an unusual prevalence of slugs, which he had been puzzled to know
5046 the meaning of, until it flashed upon him with this melancholy
5047 conflagration. (Mr. Glegg had an unusual amount of mental activity,
5048 which, when disengaged from the wool business, naturally made itself a
5049 pathway in other directions.) And his second subject of meditation was
5050 the "contrairiness" of the female mind, as typically exhibited in Mrs.
5051 Glegg. That a creature made--in a genealogical sense--out of a man's
5052 rib, and in this particular case maintained in the highest
5053 respectability without any trouble of her own, should be normally in a
5054 state of contradiction to the blandest propositions and even to the
5055 most accommodating concessions, was a mystery in the scheme of things
5056 to which he had often in vain sought a clew in the early chapters of
5057 Genesis. Mr. Glegg had chosen the eldest Miss Dodson as a handsome
5058 embodiment of female prudence and thrift, and being himself of a
5059 money-getting, money-keeping turn, had calculated on much conjugal
5060 harmony. But in that curious compound, the feminine character, it may
5061 easily happen that the flavor is unpleasant in spite of excellent
5062 ingredients; and a fine systematic stinginess may be accompanied with
5063 a seasoning that quite spoils its relish. Now, good Mr. Glegg himself
5064 was stingy in the most amiable manner; his neighbors called him
5065 "near," which always means that the person in question is a lovable
5066 skinflint. If you expressed a preference for cheese-parings, Mr. Glegg
5067 would remember to save them for you, with a good-natured delight in
5068 gratifying your palate, and he was given to pet all animals which
5069 required no appreciable keep. There was no humbug or hypocrisy about
5070 Mr. Glegg; his eyes would have watered with true feeling over the sale
5071 of a widow's furniture, which a five-pound note from his side pocket
5072 would have prevented; but a donation of five pounds to a person "in a
5073 small way of life" would have seemed to him a mad kind of lavishness
5074 rather than "charity," which had always presented itself to him as a
5075 contribution of small aids, not a neutralizing of misfortune. And Mr.
5076 Glegg was just as fond of saving other people's money as his own; he
5077 would have ridden as far round to avoid a turnpike when his expenses
5078 were to be paid for him, as when they were to come out of his own
5079 pocket, and was quite zealous in trying to induce indifferent
5080 acquaintances to adopt a cheap substitute for blacking. This
5081 inalienable habit of saving, as an end in itself, belonged to the
5082 industrious men of business of a former generation, who made their
5083 fortunes slowly, almost as the tracking of the fox belongs to the
5084 harrier,--it constituted them a "race," which is nearly lost in these
5085 days of rapid money-getting, when lavishness comes close on the back
5086 of want. In old-fashioned times an "independence" was hardly ever made
5087 without a little miserliness as a condition, and you would have found
5088 that quality in every provincial district, combined with characters as
5089 various as the fruits from which we can extract acid. The true
5090 Harpagons were always marked and exceptional characters; not so the
5091 worthy tax-payers, who, having once pinched from real necessity,
5092 retained even in the midst of their comfortable retirement, with their
5093 wallfruit and wine-bins, the habit of regarding life as an ingenious
5094 process of nibbling out one's livelihood without leaving any
5095 perceptible deficit, and who would have been as immediately prompted
5096 to give up a newly taxed luxury when they had had their clear five
5097 hundred a year, as when they had only five hundred pounds of capital.
5098 Mr. Glegg was one of these men, found so impracticable by chancellors
5099 of the exchequer; and knowing this, you will be the better able to
5100 understand why he had not swerved from the conviction that he had made
5101 an eligible marriage, in spite of the too-pungent seasoning that
5102 nature had given to the eldest Miss Dodson's virtues. A man with an
5103 affectionate disposition, who finds a wife to concur with his
5104 fundamental idea of life, easily comes to persuade himself that no
5105 other woman would have suited him so well, and does a little daily
5106 snapping and quarrelling without any sense of alienation. Mr. Glegg,
5107 being of a reflective turn, and no longer occupied with wool, had much
5108 wondering meditation on the peculiar constitution of the female mind
5109 as unfolded to him in his domestic life; and yet he thought Mrs.
5110 Glegg's household ways a model for her sex. It struck him as a
5111 pitiable irregularity in other women if they did not roll up their
5112 table-napkins with the same tightness and emphasis as Mrs. Glegg did,
5113 if their pastry had a less leathery consistence, and their damson
5114 cheese a less venerable hardness than hers; nay, even the peculiar
5115 combination of grocery and druglike odors in Mrs. Glegg's private
5116 cupboard impressed him as the only right thing in the way of cupboard
5117 smells. I am not sure that he would not have longed for the
5118 quarrelling again, if it had ceased for an entire week; and it is
5119 certain that an acquiescent, mild wife would have left his meditations
5120 comparatively jejune and barren of mystery.
5121
5122 Mr. Glegg's unmistakable kind-heartedness was shown in this, that it
5123 pained him more to see his wife at variance with others,--even with
5124 Dolly, the servant,--than to be in a state of cavil with her himself;
5125 and the quarrel between her and Mr. Tulliver vexed him so much that it
5126 quite nullified the pleasure he would otherwise have had in the state
5127 of his early cabbages, as he walked in his garden before breakfast the
5128 next morning. Still, he went in to breakfast with some slight hope
5129 that, now Mrs. Glegg had "slept upon it," her anger might be subdued
5130 enough to give way to her usually strong sense of family decorum. She
5131 had been used to boast that there had never been any of those deadly
5132 quarrels among the Dodsons which had disgraced other families; that no
5133 Dodson had ever been "cut off with a shilling," and no cousin of the
5134 Dodsons disowned; as, indeed, why should they be? For they had no
5135 cousins who had not money out at use, or some houses of their own, at
5136 the very least.
5137
5138 There was one evening-cloud which had always disappeared from Mrs.
5139 Glegg's brow when she sat at the breakfast-table. It was her fuzzy
5140 front of curls; for as she occupied herself in household matters in
5141 the morning it would have been a mere extravagance to put on anything
5142 so superfluous to the making of leathery pastry as a fuzzy curled
5143 front. By half-past ten decorum demanded the front; until then Mrs.
5144 Glegg could economize it, and society would never be any the wiser.
5145 But the absence of that cloud only left it more apparent that the
5146 cloud of severity remained; and Mr. Glegg, perceiving this, as he sat
5147 down to his milkporridge, which it was his old frugal habit to stem
5148 his morning hunger with, prudently resolved to leave the first remark
5149 to Mrs. Glegg, lest, to so delicate an article as a lady's temper, the
5150 slightest touch should do mischief. People who seem to enjoy their ill
5151 temper have a way of keeping it in fine condition by inflicting
5152 privations on themselves. That was Mrs. Glegg's way. She made her tea
5153 weaker than usual this morning, and declined butter. It was a hard
5154 case that a vigorous mood for quarrelling, so highly capable of using
5155 an opportunity, should not meet with a single remark from Mr. Glegg on
5156 which to exercise itself. But by and by it appeared that his silence
5157 would answer the purpose, for he heard himself apostrophized at last
5158 in that tone peculiar to the wife of one's bosom.
5159
5160 "Well, Mr. Glegg! it's a poor return I get for making you the wife
5161 I've made you all these years. If this is the way I'm to be treated,
5162 I'd better ha' known it before my poor father died, and then, when I'd
5163 wanted a home, I should ha' gone elsewhere, as the choice was offered
5164 me."
5165
5166 Mr. Glegg paused from his porridge and looked up, not with any new
5167 amazement, but simply with that quiet, habitual wonder with which we
5168 regard constant mysteries.
5169
5170 "Why, Mrs. G., what have I done now?"
5171
5172 "Done now, Mr. Glegg? _done now?_--I'm sorry for you."
5173
5174 Not seeing his way to any pertinent answer, Mr. Glegg reverted to his
5175 porridge.
5176
5177 "There's husbands in the world," continued Mrs. Glegg, after a pause,
5178 "as 'ud have known how to do something different to siding with
5179 everybody else against their own wives. Perhaps I'm wrong and you can
5180 teach me better. But I've allays heard as it's the husband's place to
5181 stand by the wife, instead o' rejoicing and triumphing when folks
5182 insult her."
5183
5184 "Now, what call have you to say that?" said Mr. Glegg, rather warmly,
5185 for though a kind man, he was not as meek as Moses. "When did I
5186 rejoice or triumph over you?"
5187
5188 "There's ways o' doing things worse than speaking out plain, Mr.
5189 Glegg. I'd sooner you'd tell me to my face as you make light of me,
5190 than try to make out as everybody's in the right but me, and come to
5191 your breakfast in the morning, as I've hardly slept an hour this
5192 night, and sulk at me as if I was the dirt under your feet."
5193
5194 "Sulk at you?" said Mr. Glegg, in a tone of angry facetiousness.
5195 "You're like a tipsy man as thinks everybody's had too much but
5196 himself."
5197
5198 "Don't lower yourself with using coarse language to _me_, Mr. Glegg!
5199 It makes you look very small, though you can't see yourself," said
5200 Mrs. Glegg, in a tone of energetic compassion. "A man in your place
5201 should set an example, and talk more sensible."
5202
5203 "Yes; but will you listen to sense?" retorted Mr. Glegg, sharply. "The
5204 best sense I can talk to you is what I said last night,--as you're i'
5205 the wrong to think o' calling in your money, when it's safe enough if
5206 you'd let it alone, all because of a bit of a tiff, and I was in hopes
5207 you'd ha' altered your mind this morning. But if you'd like to call it
5208 in, don't do it in a hurry now, and breed more enmity in the family,
5209 but wait till there's a pretty mortgage to be had without any trouble.
5210 You'd have to set the lawyer to work now to find an investment, and
5211 make no end o' expense."
5212
5213 Mrs. Glegg felt there was really something in this, but she tossed her
5214 head and emitted a guttural interjection to indicate that her silence
5215 was only an armistice, not a peace. And, in fact hostilities soon
5216 broke out again.
5217
5218 "I'll thank you for my cup o' tea, now, Mrs. G.," said Mr. Glegg,
5219 seeing that she did not proceed to give it him as usual, when he had
5220 finished his porridge. She lifted the teapot with a slight toss of the
5221 head, and said,--
5222
5223 "I'm glad to hear you'll _thank_ me, Mr. Glegg. It's little thanks _I_
5224 get for what I do for folks i' this world. Though there's never a
5225 woman o' _your_ side o' the family, Mr. Glegg, as is fit to stand up
5226 with me, and I'd say it if I was on my dying bed. Not but what I've
5227 allays conducted myself civil to your kin, and there isn't one of 'em
5228 can say the contrary, though my equils they aren't, and nobody shall
5229 make me say it."
5230
5231 "You'd better leave finding fault wi' my kin till you've left off
5232 quarrelling with you own, Mrs. G.," said Mr. Glegg, with angry
5233 sarcasm. "I'll trouble you for the milk-jug."
5234
5235 "That's as false a word as ever you spoke, Mr. Glegg," said the lady,
5236 pouring out the milk with unusual profuseness, as much as to say, if
5237 he wanted milk he should have it with a vengeance. "And you know it's
5238 false. I'm not the woman to quarrel with my own kin; _you_ may, for
5239 I've known you to do it."
5240
5241 "Why, what did you call it yesterday, then, leaving your sister's
5242 house in a tantrum?"
5243
5244 "I'd no quarrel wi' my sister, Mr. Glegg, and it's false to say it.
5245 Mr. Tulliver's none o' my blood, and it was him quarrelled with me,
5246 and drove me out o' the house. But perhaps you'd have had me stay and
5247 be swore at, Mr. Glegg; perhaps you was vexed not to hear more abuse
5248 and foul language poured out upo' your own wife. But, let me tell you,
5249 it's _your_ disgrace."
5250
5251 "Did ever anybody hear the like i' this parish?" said Mr. Glegg,
5252 getting hot. "A woman, with everything provided for her, and allowed
5253 to keep her own money the same as if it was settled on her, and with a
5254 gig new stuffed and lined at no end o' expense, and provided for when
5255 I die beyond anything she could expect--to go on i' this way, biting
5256 and snapping like a mad dog! It's beyond everything, as God A 'mighty
5257 should ha' made women _so_." (These last words were uttered in a tone
5258 of sorrowful agitation. Mr. Glegg pushed his tea from him, and tapped
5259 the table with both his hands.)
5260
5261 "Well, Mr. Glegg, if those are your feelings, it's best they should be
5262 known," said Mrs. Glegg, taking off her napkin, and folding it in an
5263 excited manner. "But if you talk o' my being provided for beyond what
5264 I could expect, I beg leave to tell you as I'd a right to expect a
5265 many things as I don't find. And as to my being like a mad dog, it's
5266 well if you're not cried shame on by the county for your treatment of
5267 me, for it's what I can't bear, and I won't bear----"
5268
5269 Here Mrs. Glegg's voice intimated that she was going to cry, and
5270 breaking off from speech, she rang the bell violently.
5271
5272 "Sally," she said, rising from her chair, and speaking in rather a
5273 choked voice, "light a fire up-stairs, and put the blinds down. Mr.
5274 Glegg, you'll please to order what you'd like for dinner. I shall have
5275 gruel."
5276
5277 Mrs. Glegg walked across the room to the small book-case, and took
5278 down Baxter's "Saints' Everlasting Rest," which she carried with her
5279 up-stairs. It was the book she was accustomed to lay open before her
5280 on special occasions,--on wet Sunday mornings, or when she heard of a
5281 death in the family, or when, as in this case, her quarrel with Mr.
5282 Glegg had been set an octave higher than usual.
5283
5284 But Mrs. Glegg carried something else up-stairs with her, which,
5285 together with the "Saints' Rest" and the gruel, may have had some
5286 influence in gradually calming her feelings, and making it possible
5287 for her to endure existence on the ground-floor, shortly before
5288 tea-time. This was, partly, Mr. Glegg's suggestion that she would do
5289 well to let her five hundred lie still until a good investment turned
5290 up; and, further, his parenthetic hint at his handsome provision for
5291 her in case of his death. Mr. Glegg, like all men of his stamp, was
5292 extremely reticent about his will; and Mrs. Glegg, in her gloomier
5293 moments, had forebodings that, like other husbands of whom she had
5294 heard, he might cherish the mean project of heightening her grief at
5295 his death by leaving her poorly off, in which case she was firmly
5296 resolved that she would have scarcely any weeper on her bonnet, and
5297 would cry no more than if he had been a second husband. But if he had
5298 really shown her any testamentary tenderness, it would be affecting to
5299 think of him, poor man, when he was gone; and even his foolish fuss
5300 about the flowers and garden-stuff, and his insistence on the subject
5301 of snails, would be touching when it was once fairly at an end. To
5302 survive Mr. Glegg, and talk eulogistically of him as a man who might
5303 have his weaknesses, but who had done the right thing by her,
5304 not-withstanding his numerous poor relations; to have sums of interest
5305 coming in more frequently, and secrete it in various corners, baffling
5306 to the most ingenious of thieves (for, to Mrs. Glegg's mind, banks and
5307 strong-boxes would have nullified the pleasure of property; she might
5308 as well have taken her food in capsules); finally, to be looked up to
5309 by her own family and the neighborhood, so as no woman can ever hope
5310 to be who has not the præterite and present dignity comprised in being
5311 a "widow well left,"--all this made a flattering and conciliatory view
5312 of the future. So that when good Mr. Glegg, restored to good humor by
5313 much hoeing, and moved by the sight of his wife's empty chair, with
5314 her knitting rolled up in the corner, went up-stairs to her, and
5315 observed that the bell had been tolling for poor Mr. Morton, Mrs.
5316 Glegg answered magnanimously, quite as if she had been an uninjured
5317 woman: "Ah! then, there'll be a good business for somebody to take
5318 to."
5319
5320 Baxter had been open at least eight hours by this time, for it was
5321 nearly five o'clock; and if people are to quarrel often, it follows as
5322 a corollary that their quarrels cannot be protracted beyond certain
5323 limits.
5324
5325 Mr. and Mrs. Glegg talked quite amicably about the Tullivers that
5326 evening. Mr. Glegg went the length of admitting that Tulliver was a
5327 sad man for getting into hot water, and was like enough to run through
5328 his property; and Mrs. Glegg, meeting this acknowledgment half-way,
5329 declared that it was beneath her to take notice of such a man's
5330 conduct, and that, for her sister's sake, she would let him keep the
5331 five hundred a while longer, for when she put it out on a mortgage she
5332 should only get four per cent.
5333
5334
5335
5336 Chapter XIII
5337
5338 Mr. Tulliver Further Entangles the Skein of Life
5339
5340
5341 Owing to this new adjustment of Mrs. Glegg's thoughts, Mrs. Pullet
5342 found her task of mediation the next day surprisingly easy. Mrs.
5343 Glegg, indeed checked her rather sharply for thinking it would be
5344 necessary to tell her elder sister what was the right mode of behavior
5345 in family matters. Mrs. Pullet's argument, that it would look ill in
5346 the neighborhood if people should have it in their power to say that
5347 there was a quarrel in the family, was particularly offensive. If the
5348 family name never suffered except through Mrs. Glegg, Mrs. Pullet
5349 might lay her head on her pillow in perfect confidence.
5350
5351 "It's not to be expected, I suppose," observed Mrs. Glegg, by way of
5352 winding up the subject, "as I shall go to the mill again before Bessy
5353 comes to see me, or as I shall go and fall down o' my knees to Mr.
5354 Tulliver, and ask his pardon for showing him favors; but I shall bear
5355 no malice, and when Mr. Tulliver speaks civil to me, I'll speak civil
5356 to him. Nobody has any call to tell me what's becoming."
5357
5358 Finding it unnecessary to plead for the Tullivers, it was natural that
5359 aunt Pullet should relax a little in her anxiety for them, and recur
5360 to the annoyance she had suffered yesterday from the offspring of that
5361 apparently ill-fated house. Mrs. Glegg heard a circumstantial
5362 narrative, to which Mr. Pullet's remarkable memory furnished some
5363 items; and while aunt Pullet pitied poor Bessy's bad luck with her
5364 children, and expressed a half-formed project of paying for Maggie's
5365 being sent to a distant boarding-school, which would not prevent her
5366 being so brown, but might tend to subdue some other vices in her, aunt
5367 Glegg blamed Bessy for her weakness, and appealed to all witnesses who
5368 should be living when the Tulliver children had turned out ill, that
5369 she, Mrs. Glegg, had always said how it would be from the very first,
5370 observing that it was wonderful to herself how all her words came
5371 true.
5372
5373 "Then I may call and tell Bessy you'll bear no malice, and everything
5374 be as it was before?" Mrs. Pullet said, just before parting.
5375
5376 "Yes, you may, Sophy," said Mrs. Glegg; "you may tell Mr. Tulliver,
5377 and Bessy too, as I'm not going to behave ill because folks behave ill
5378 to me; I know it's my place, as the eldest, to set an example in every
5379 respect, and I do it. Nobody can say different of me, if they'll keep
5380 to the truth."
5381
5382 Mrs. Glegg being in this state of satisfaction in her own lofty
5383 magnanimity, I leave you to judge what effect was produced on her by
5384 the reception of a short letter from Mr. Tulliver that very evening,
5385 after Mrs. Pullet's departure, informing her that she needn't trouble
5386 her mind about her five hundred pounds, for it should be paid back to
5387 her in the course of the next month at farthest, together with the
5388 interest due thereon until the time of payment. And furthermore, that
5389 Mr. Tulliver had no wish to behave uncivilly to Mrs. Glegg, and she
5390 was welcome to his house whenever she liked to come, but he desired no
5391 favors from her, either for himself or his children.
5392
5393 It was poor Mrs. Tulliver who had hastened this catastrophe, entirely
5394 through that irrepressible hopefulness of hers which led her to expect
5395 that similar causes may at any time produce different results. It had
5396 very often occurred in her experience that Mr. Tulliver had done
5397 something because other people had said he was not able to do it, or
5398 had pitied him for his supposed inability, or in any other way piqued
5399 his pride; still, she thought to-day, if she told him when he came in
5400 to tea that sister Pullet was gone to try and make everything up with
5401 sister Glegg, so that he needn't think about paying in the money, it
5402 would give a cheerful effect to the meal. Mr. Tulliver had never
5403 slackened in his resolve to raise the money, but now he at once
5404 determined to write a letter to Mrs. Glegg, which should cut off all
5405 possibility of mistake. Mrs. Pullet gone to beg and pray for _him_
5406 indeed! Mr. Tulliver did not willingly write a letter, and found the
5407 relation between spoken and written language, briefly known as
5408 spelling, one of the most puzzling things in this puzzling world.
5409 Nevertheless, like all fervid writing, the task was done in less time
5410 than usual, and if the spelling differed from Mrs. Glegg's,--why, she
5411 belonged, like himself, to a generation with whom spelling was a
5412 matter of private judgment.
5413
5414 Mrs. Glegg did not alter her will in consequence of this letter, and
5415 cut off the Tulliver children from their sixth and seventh share in
5416 her thousand pounds; for she had her principles. No one must be able
5417 to say of her when she was dead that she had not divided her money
5418 with perfect fairness among her own kin. In the matter of wills,
5419 personal qualities were subordinate to the great fundamental fact of
5420 blood; and to be determined in the distribution of your property by
5421 caprice, and not make your legacies bear a direct ratio to degrees of
5422 kinship, was a prospective disgrace that would have embittered her
5423 life. This had always been a principle in the Dodson family; it was
5424 one form if that sense of honor and rectitude which was a proud
5425 tradition in such families,--a tradition which has been the salt of
5426 our provincial society.
5427
5428 But though the letter could not shake Mrs. Glegg's principles, it made
5429 the family breach much more difficult to mend; and as to the effect it
5430 produced on Mrs. Glegg's opinion of Mr. Tulliver, she begged to be
5431 understood from that time forth that she had nothing whatever to say
5432 about him; his state of mind, apparently, was too corrupt for her to
5433 contemplate it for a moment. It was not until the evening before Tom
5434 went to school, at the beginning of August, that Mrs. Glegg paid a
5435 visit to her sister Tulliver, sitting in her gig all the while, and
5436 showing her displeasure by markedly abstaining from all advice and
5437 criticism; for, as she observed to her sister Deane, "Bessy must bear
5438 the consequence o' having such a husband, though I'm sorry for her,"
5439 and Mrs. Deane agreed that Bessy was pitiable.
5440
5441 That evening Tom observed to Maggie: "Oh my! Maggie, aunt Glegg's
5442 beginning to come again; I'm glad I'm going to school. _You'll_ catch
5443 it all now!"
5444
5445 Maggie was already so full of sorrow at the thought of Tom's going
5446 away from her, that this playful exultation of his seemed very unkind,
5447 and she cried herself to sleep that night.
5448
5449 Mr. Tulliver's prompt procedure entailed on him further promptitude in
5450 finding the convenient person who was desirous of lending five hundred
5451 pounds on bond. "It must be no client of Wakem's," he said to himself;
5452 and yet at the end of a fortnight it turned out to the contrary; not
5453 because Mr. Tulliver's will was feeble, but because external fact was
5454 stronger. Wakem's client was the only convenient person to be found.
5455 Mr. Tulliver had a destiny as well as Œdipus, and in this case
5456 he might plead, like Œdipus, that his deed was inflicted on him
5457 rather than committed by him.
5458
5459
5460
5461
5462 Book II
5463
5464 _School-Time_
5465
5466
5467
5468 Chapter I
5469
5470 Tom's "First Half"
5471
5472
5473 Tom Tulliver's sufferings during the first quarter he was at King's
5474 Lorton, under the distinguished care of the Rev. Walter Stelling, were
5475 rather severe. At Mr. Jacob's academy life had not presented itself to
5476 him as a difficult problem; there were plenty of fellows to play with,
5477 and Tom being good at all active games,--fighting especially,--had
5478 that precedence among them which appeared to him inseparable from the
5479 personality of Tom Tulliver. Mr. Jacobs himself, familiarly known as
5480 Old Goggles, from his habit of wearing spectacles, imposed no painful
5481 awe; and if it was the property of snuffy old hypocrites like him to
5482 write like copperplate and surround their signatures with arabesques,
5483 to spell without forethought, and to spout "my name is Norval" without
5484 bungling, Tom, for his part, was glad he was not in danger of those
5485 mean accomplishments. He was not going to be a snuffy schoolmaster,
5486 he, but a substantial man, like his father, who used to go hunting
5487 when he was younger, and rode a capital black mare,--as pretty a bit
5488 of horse-flesh as ever you saw; Tom had heard what her points were a
5489 hundred times. _He_ meant to go hunting too, and to be generally
5490 respected. When people were grown up, he considered, nobody inquired
5491 about their writing and spelling; when he was a man, he should be
5492 master of everything, and do just as he liked. It had been very
5493 difficult for him to reconcile himself to the idea that his
5494 school-time was to be prolonged and that he was not to be brought up
5495 to his father's business, which he had always thought extremely
5496 pleasant; for it was nothing but riding about, giving orders, and
5497 going to market; and he thought that a clergyman would give him a
5498 great many Scripture lessons, and probably make him learn the Gospel
5499 and Epistle on a Sunday, as well as the Collect. But in the absence of
5500 specific information, it was impossible for him to imagine that school
5501 and a schoolmaster would be something entirely different from the
5502 academy of Mr. Jacobs. So, not to be at a deficiency, in case of his
5503 finding genial companions, he had taken care to carry with him a small
5504 box of percussion-caps; not that there was anything particular to be
5505 done with them, but they would serve to impress strange boys with a
5506 sense of his familiarity with guns. Thus poor Tom, though he saw very
5507 clearly through Maggie's illusions, was not without illusions of his
5508 own, which were to be cruelly dissipated by his enlarged experience at
5509 King's Lorton.
5510
5511 He had not been there a fortnight before it was evident to him that
5512 life, complicated not only with the Latin grammar but with a new
5513 standard of English pronunciation, was a very difficult business, made
5514 all the more obscure by a thick mist of bashfulness. Tom, as you have
5515 observed, was never an exception among boys for ease of address; but
5516 the difficulty of enunciating a monosyllable in reply to Mr. or Mrs.
5517 Stelling was so great, that he even dreaded to be asked at table
5518 whether he would have more pudding. As to the percussion-caps, he had
5519 almost resolved, in the bitterness of his heart, that he would throw
5520 them into a neighboring pond; for not only was he the solitary pupil,
5521 but he began even to have a certain scepticism about guns, and a
5522 general sense that his theory of life was undermined. For Mr. Stelling
5523 thought nothing of guns, or horses either, apparently; and yet it was
5524 impossible for Tom to despise Mr. Stelling as he had despised Old
5525 Goggles. If there were anything that was not thoroughly genuine about
5526 Mr. Stelling, it lay quite beyond Tom's power to detect it; it is only
5527 by a wide comparison of facts that the wisest full-grown man can
5528 distinguish well-rolled barrels from mere supernal thunder.
5529
5530 Mr. Stelling was a well-sized, broad-chested man, not yet thirty, with
5531 flaxen hair standing erect, and large lightish-gray eyes, which were
5532 always very wide open; he had a sonorous bass voice, and an air of
5533 defiant self-confidence inclining to brazenness. He had entered on his
5534 career with great vigor, and intended to make a considerable
5535 impression on his fellowmen. The Rev. Walter Stelling was not a man
5536 who would remain among the "inferior clergy" all his life. He had a
5537 true British determination to push his way in the world,--as a
5538 schoolmaster, in the first place, for there were capital masterships
5539 of grammar-schools to be had, and Mr. Stelling meant to have one of
5540 them; but as a preacher also, for he meant always to preach in a
5541 striking manner, so as to have his congregation swelled by admirers
5542 from neighboring parishes, and to produce a great sensation whenever
5543 he took occasional duty for a brother clergyman of minor gifts. The
5544 style of preaching he had chosen was the extemporaneous, which was
5545 held little short of the miraculous in rural parishes like King's
5546 Lorton. Some passages of Massillon and Bourdaloue, which he knew by
5547 heart, were really very effective when rolled out in Mr. Stelling's
5548 deepest tones; but as comparatively feeble appeals of his own were
5549 delivered in the same loud and impressive manner, they were often
5550 thought quite as striking by his hearers. Mr. Stelling's doctrine was
5551 of no particular school; if anything, it had a tinge of
5552 evangelicalism, for that was "the telling thing" just then in the
5553 diocese to which King's Lorton belonged. In short, Mr. Stelling was a
5554 man who meant to rise in his profession, and to rise by merit,
5555 clearly, since he had no interest beyond what might be promised by a
5556 problematic relationship to a great lawyer who had not yet become Lord
5557 Chancellor. A clergyman who has such vigorous intentions naturally
5558 gets a little into debt at starting; it is not to be expected that he
5559 will live in the meagre style of a man who means to be a poor curate
5560 all his life; and if the few hundreds Mr. Timpson advanced toward his
5561 daughter's fortune did not suffice for the purchase of handsome
5562 furniture, together with a stock of wine, a grand piano, and the
5563 laying out of a superior flower-garden, it followed in the most
5564 rigorous manner, either that these things must be procured by some
5565 other means, or else that the Rev. Mr. Stelling must go without them,
5566 which last alternative would be an absurd procrastination of the
5567 fruits of success, where success was certain. Mr. Stelling was so
5568 broad-chested and resolute that he felt equal to anything; he would
5569 become celebrated by shaking the consciences of his hearers, and he
5570 would by and by edit a Greek play, and invent several new readings. He
5571 had not yet selected the play, for having been married little more
5572 than two years, his leisure time had been much occupied with
5573 attentions to Mrs. Stelling; but he had told that fine woman what he
5574 meant to do some day, and she felt great confidence in her husband, as
5575 a man who understood everything of that sort.
5576
5577 But the immediate step to future success was to bring on Tom Tulliver
5578 during this first half-year; for, by a singular coincidence, there had
5579 been some negotiation concerning another pupil from the same
5580 neighborhood and it might further a decision in Mr. Stelling's favor,
5581 if it were understood that young Tulliver, who, Mr. Stelling observed
5582 in conjugal privacy, was rather a rough cub, had made prodigious
5583 progress in a short time. It was on this ground that he was severe
5584 with Tom about his lessons; he was clearly a boy whose powers would
5585 never be developed through the medium of the Latin grammar, without
5586 the application of some sternness. Not that Mr. Stelling was a
5587 harsh-tempered or unkind man; quite the contrary. He was jocose with
5588 Tom at table, and corrected his provincialisms and his deportment in
5589 the most playful manner; but poor Tom was only the more cowed and
5590 confused by this double novelty, for he had never been used to jokes
5591 at all like Mr. Stelling's; and for the first time in his life he had
5592 a painful sense that he was all wrong somehow. When Mr. Stelling said,
5593 as the roast-beef was being uncovered, "Now, Tulliver! which would you
5594 rather decline, roast-beef or the Latin for it?" Tom, to whom in his
5595 coolest moments a pun would have been a hard nut, was thrown into a
5596 state of embarrassed alarm that made everything dim to him except the
5597 feeling that he would rather not have anything to do with Latin; of
5598 course he answered, "Roast-beef," whereupon there followed much
5599 laughter and some practical joking with the plates, from which Tom
5600 gathered that he had in some mysterious way refused beef, and, in
5601 fact, made himself appear "a silly." If he could have seen a
5602 fellow-pupil undergo these painful operations and survive them in good
5603 spirits, he might sooner have taken them as a matter of course. But
5604 there are two expensive forms of education, either of which a parent
5605 may procure for his son by sending him as solitary pupil to a
5606 clergyman: one is the enjoyment of the reverend gentleman's undivided
5607 neglect; the other is the endurance of the reverend gentleman's
5608 undivided attention. It was the latter privilege for which Mr.
5609 Tulliver paid a high price in Tom's initiatory months at King's
5610 Lorton.
5611
5612 That respectable miller and maltster had left Tom behind, and driven
5613 homeward in a state of great mental satisfaction. He considered that
5614 it was a happy moment for him when he had thought of asking Riley's
5615 advice about a tutor for Tom. Mr. Stelling's eyes were so wide open,
5616 and he talked in such an off-hand, matter-of-fact way, answering every
5617 difficult, slow remark of Mr. Tulliver's with, "I see, my good sir, I
5618 see"; "To be sure, to be sure"; "You want your son to be a man who
5619 will make his way in the world,"--that Mr. Tulliver was delighted to
5620 find in him a clergyman whose knowledge was so applicable to the
5621 every-day affairs of this life. Except Counsellor Wylde, whom he had
5622 heard at the last sessions, Mr. Tulliver thought the Rev. Mr Stelling
5623 was the shrewdest fellow he had ever met with,--not unlike Wylde, in
5624 fact; he had the same way of sticking his thumbs in the armholes of
5625 his waistcoat. Mr. Tulliver was not by any means an exception in
5626 mistaking brazenness for shrewdness; most laymen thought Stelling
5627 shrewd, and a man of remarkable powers generally; it was chiefly by
5628 his clerical brethren that he was considered rather a full fellow. But
5629 he told Mr. Tulliver several stories about "Swing" and incendiarism,
5630 and asked his advice about feeding pigs in so thoroughly secular and
5631 judicious a manner, with so much polished glibness of tongue, that the
5632 miller thought, here was the very thing he wanted for Tom. He had no
5633 doubt this first-rate man was acquainted with every branch of
5634 information, and knew exactly what Tom must learn in order to become a
5635 match for the lawyers, which poor Mr. Tulliver himself did _not_ know,
5636 and so was necessarily thrown for self-direction on this wide kind of
5637 inference. It is hardly fair to laugh at him, for I have known much
5638 more highly instructed persons than he make inferences quite as wide,
5639 and not at all wiser.
5640
5641 As for Mrs. Tulliver, finding that Mrs. Stelling's views as to the
5642 airing of linen and the frequent recurrence of hunger in a growing boy
5643 entirely coincided with her own; moreover, that Mrs. Stelling, though
5644 so young a woman, and only anticipating her second confinement, had
5645 gone through very nearly the same experience as herself with regard to
5646 the behavior and fundamental character of the monthly nurse,--she
5647 expressed great contentment to her husband, when they drove away, at
5648 leaving Tom with a woman who, in spite of her youth, seemed quite
5649 sensible and motherly, and asked advice as prettily as could be.
5650
5651 "They must be very well off, though," said Mrs. Tulliver, "for
5652 everything's as nice as can be all over the house, and that watered
5653 silk she had on cost a pretty penny. Sister Pullet has got one like
5654 it."
5655
5656 "Ah," said Mr. Tulliver, "he's got some income besides the curacy, I
5657 reckon. Perhaps her father allows 'em something. There's Tom 'ull be
5658 another hundred to him, and not much trouble either, by his own
5659 account; he says teaching comes natural to him. That's wonderful,
5660 now," added Mr. Tulliver, turning his head on one side, and giving his
5661 horse a meditative tickling on the flank.
5662
5663 Perhaps it was because teaching came naturally to Mr. Stelling, that
5664 he set about it with that uniformity of method and independence of
5665 circumstances which distinguish the actions of animals understood to
5666 be under the immediate teaching of nature. Mr. Broderip's amiable
5667 beaver, as that charming naturalist tells us, busied himself as
5668 earnestly in constructing a dam, in a room up three pair of stairs in
5669 London, as if he had been laying his foundation in a stream or lake in
5670 Upper Canada. It was "Binny's" function to build; the absence of water
5671 or of possible progeny was an accident for which he was not
5672 accountable. With the same unerring instinct Mr. Stelling set to work
5673 at his natural method of instilling the Eton Grammar and Euclid into
5674 the mind of Tom Tulliver. This, he considered, was the only basis of
5675 solid instruction; all other means of education were mere
5676 charlatanism, and could produce nothing better than smatterers. Fixed
5677 on this firm basis, a man might observe the display of various or
5678 special knowledge made by irregularly educated people with a pitying
5679 smile; all that sort of thing was very well, but it was impossible
5680 these people could form sound opinions. In holding this conviction Mr.
5681 Stelling was not biassed, as some tutors have been, by the excessive
5682 accuracy or extent of his own scholarship; and as to his views about
5683 Euclid, no opinion could have been freer from personal partiality. Mr.
5684 Stelling was very far from being led astray by enthusiasm, either
5685 religious or intellectual; on the other hand, he had no secret belief
5686 that everything was humbug. He thought religion was a very excellent
5687 thing, and Aristotle a great authority, and deaneries and prebends
5688 useful institutions, and Great Britain the providential bulwark of
5689 Protestantism, and faith in the unseen a great support to afflicted
5690 minds; he believed in all these things, as a Swiss hotel-keeper
5691 believes in the beauty of the scenery around him, and in the pleasure
5692 it gives to artistic visitors. And in the same way Mr. Stelling
5693 believed in his method of education; he had no doubt that he was doing
5694 the very best thing for Mr. Tulliver's boy. Of course, when the miller
5695 talked of "mapping" and "summing" in a vague and diffident manner, Mr
5696 Stelling had set his mind at rest by an assurance that he understood
5697 what was wanted; for how was it possible the good man could form any
5698 reasonable judgment about the matter? Mr Stelling's duty was to teach
5699 the lad in the only right way,--indeed he knew no other; he had not
5700 wasted his time in the acquirement of anything abnormal.
5701
5702 He very soon set down poor Tom as a thoroughly stupid lad; for though
5703 by hard labor he could get particular declensions into his brain,
5704 anything so abstract as the relation between cases and terminations
5705 could by no means get such a lodgment there as to enable him to
5706 recognize a chance genitive or dative. This struck Mr. Stelling as
5707 something more than natural stupidity; he suspected obstinacy, or at
5708 any rate indifference, and lectured Tom severely on his want of
5709 thorough application. "You feel no interest in what you're doing,
5710 sir," Mr. Stelling would say, and the reproach was painfully true. Tom
5711 had never found any difficulty in discerning a pointer from a setter,
5712 when once he had been told the distinction, and his perceptive powers
5713 were not at all deficient. I fancy they were quite as strong as those
5714 of the Rev. Mr. Stelling; for Tom could predict with accuracy what
5715 number of horses were cantering behind him, he could throw a stone
5716 right into the centre of a given ripple, he could guess to a fraction
5717 how many lengths of his stick it would take to reach across the
5718 playground, and could draw almost perfect squares on his slate without
5719 any measurement. But Mr. Stelling took no note of these things; he
5720 only observed that Tom's faculties failed him before the abstractions
5721 hideously symbolized to him in the pages of the Eton Grammar, and that
5722 he was in a state bordering on idiocy with regard to the demonstration
5723 that two given triangles must be equal, though he could discern with
5724 great promptitude and certainty the fact that they _were_ equal.
5725 Whence Mr. Stelling concluded that Tom's brain, being peculiarly
5726 impervious to etymology and demonstrations, was peculiarly in need of
5727 being ploughed and harrowed by these patent implements; it was his
5728 favorite metaphor, that the classics and geometry constituted that
5729 culture of the mind which prepared it for the reception of any
5730 subsequent crop. I say nothing against Mr. Stelling's theory; if we
5731 are to have one regimen for all minds, his seems to me as good as any
5732 other. I only know it turned out as uncomfortably for Tom Tulliver as
5733 if he had been plied with cheese in order to remedy a gastric weakness
5734 which prevented him from digesting it. It is astonishing what a
5735 different result one gets by changing the metaphor! Once call the
5736 brain an intellectual stomach, and one's ingenious conception of the
5737 classics and geometry as ploughs and harrows seems to settle nothing.
5738 But then it is open to some one else to follow great authorities, and
5739 call the mind a sheet of white paper or a mirror, in which case one's
5740 knowledge of the digestive process becomes quite irrelevant. It was
5741 doubtless an ingenious idea to call the camel the ship of the desert,
5742 but it would hardly lead one far in training that useful beast. O
5743 Aristotle! if you had had the advantage of being "the freshest modern"
5744 instead of the greatest ancient, would you not have mingled your
5745 praise of metaphorical speech, as a sign of high intelligence, with a
5746 lamentation that intelligence so rarely shows itself in speech without
5747 metaphor,--that we can so seldom declare what a thing is, except by
5748 saying it is something else?
5749
5750 Tom Tulliver, being abundant in no form of speech, did not use any
5751 metaphor to declare his views as to the nature of Latin; he never
5752 called it an instrument of torture; and it was not until he had got on
5753 some way in the next half-year, and in the Delectus, that he was
5754 advanced enough to call it a "bore" and "beastly stuff." At present,
5755 in relation to this demand that he should learn Latin declensions and
5756 conjugations, Tom was in a state of as blank unimaginativeness
5757 concerning the cause and tendency of his sufferings, as if he had been
5758 an innocent shrewmouse imprisoned in the split trunk of an ash-tree in
5759 order to cure lameness in cattle. It is doubtless almost incredible to
5760 instructed minds of the present day that a boy of twelve, not
5761 belonging strictly to "the masses," who are now understood to have the
5762 monopoly of mental darkness, should have had no distinct idea how
5763 there came to be such a thing as Latin on this earth; yet so it was
5764 with Tom. It would have taken a long while to make conceivable to him
5765 that there ever existed a people who bought and sold sheep and oxen,
5766 and transacted the every-day affairs of life, through the medium of
5767 this language; and still longer to make him understand why he should
5768 be called upon to learn it, when its connection with those affairs had
5769 become entirely latent. So far as Tom had gained any acquaintance with
5770 the Romans at Mr. Jacob's academy, his knowledge was strictly correct,
5771 but it went no farther than the fact that they were "in the New
5772 Testament"; and Mr. Stelling was not the man to enfeeble and
5773 emasculate his pupil's mind by simplifying and explaining, or to
5774 reduce the tonic effect of etymology by mixing it with smattering,
5775 extraneous information, such as is given to girls.
5776
5777 Yet, strange to say, under this vigorous treatment Tom became more
5778 like a girl than he had ever been in his life before. He had a large
5779 share of pride, which had hitherto found itself very comfortable in
5780 the world, despising Old Goggles, and reposing in the sense of
5781 unquestioned rights; but now this same pride met with nothing but
5782 bruises and crushings. Tom was too clear-sighted not to be aware that
5783 Mr. Stelling's standard of things was quite different, was certainly
5784 something higher in the eyes of the world than that of the people he
5785 had been living amongst, and that, brought in contact with it, he, Tom
5786 Tulliver, appeared uncouth and stupid; he was by no means indifferent
5787 to this, and his pride got into an uneasy condition which quite
5788 nullified his boyish self-satisfaction, and gave him something of the
5789 girl's susceptibility. He was a very firm, not to say obstinate,
5790 disposition, but there was no brute-like rebellion and recklessness in
5791 his nature; the human sensibilities predominated, and if it had
5792 occurred to him that he could enable himself to show some quickness at
5793 his lessons, and so acquire Mr. Stelling's approbation, by standing on
5794 one leg for an inconvenient length of time, or rapping his head
5795 moderately against the wall, or any voluntary action of that sort, he
5796 would certainly have tried it. But no; Tom had never heard that these
5797 measures would brighten the understanding, or strengthen the verbal
5798 memory; and he was not given to hypothesis and experiment. It did
5799 occur to him that he could perhaps get some help by praying for it;
5800 but as the prayers he said every evening were forms learned by heart,
5801 he rather shrank from the novelty and irregularity of introducing an
5802 extempore passage on a topic of petition for which he was not aware of
5803 any precedent. But one day, when he had broken down, for the fifth
5804 time, in the supines of the third conjugation, and Mr. Stelling,
5805 convinced that this must be carelessness, since it transcended the
5806 bounds of possible stupidity, had lectured him very seriously,
5807 pointing out that if he failed to seize the present golden opportunity
5808 of learning supines, he would have to regret it when he became a
5809 man,--Tom, more miserable than usual, determined to try his sole
5810 resource; and that evening, after his usual form of prayer for his
5811 parents and "little sister" (he had begun to pray for Maggie when she
5812 was a baby), and that he might be able always to keep God's
5813 commandments, he added, in the same low whisper, "and please to make
5814 me always remember my Latin." He paused a little to consider how he
5815 should pray about Euclid--whether he should ask to see what it meant,
5816 or whether there was any other mental state which would be more
5817 applicable to the case. But at last he added: "And make Mr. Stelling
5818 say I sha'n't do Euclid any more. Amen."
5819
5820 The fact that he got through his supines without mistake the next day,
5821 encouraged him to persevere in this appendix to his prayers, and
5822 neutralized any scepticism that might have arisen from Mr. Stelling's
5823 continued demand for Euclid. But his faith broke down under the
5824 apparent absence of all help when he got into the irregular verbs. It
5825 seemed clear that Tom's despair under the caprices of the present
5826 tense did not constitute a _nodus_ worthy of interference, and since
5827 this was the climax of his difficulties, where was the use of praying
5828 for help any longer? He made up his mind to this conclusion in one of
5829 his dull, lonely evenings, which he spent in the study, preparing his
5830 lessons for the morrow. His eyes were apt to get dim over the page,
5831 though he hated crying, and was ashamed of it; he couldn't help
5832 thinking with some affection even of Spouncer, whom he used to fight
5833 and quarrel with; he would have felt at home with Spouncer, and in a
5834 condition of superiority. And then the mill, and the river, and Yap
5835 pricking up his ears, ready to obey the least sign when Tom said,
5836 "Hoigh!" would all come before him in a sort of calenture, when his
5837 fingers played absently in his pocket with his great knife and his
5838 coil of whipcord, and other relics of the past.
5839
5840 Tom, as I said, had never been so much like a girl in his life before,
5841 and at that epoch of irregular verbs his spirit was further depressed
5842 by a new means of mental development which had been thought of for him
5843 out of school hours. Mrs. Stelling had lately had her second baby, and
5844 as nothing could be more salutary for a boy than to feel himself
5845 useful, Mrs. Stelling considered she was doing Tom a service by
5846 setting him to watch the little cherub Laura while the nurse was
5847 occupied with the sickly baby. It was quite a pretty employment for
5848 Tom to take little Laura out in the sunniest hour of the autumn day;
5849 it would help to make him feel that Lorton Parsonage was a home for
5850 him, and that he was one of the family. The little cherub Laura, not
5851 being an accomplished walker at present, had a ribbon fastened round
5852 her waist, by which Tom held her as if she had been a little dog
5853 during the minutes in which she chose to walk; but as these were rare,
5854 he was for the most part carrying this fine child round and round the
5855 garden, within sight of Mrs. Stelling's window, according to orders.
5856 If any one considers this unfair and even oppressive toward Tom, I beg
5857 him to consider that there are feminine virtues which are with
5858 difficulty combined, even if they are not incompatible. When the wife
5859 of a poor curate contrives, under all her disadvantages, to dress
5860 extremely well, and to have a style of coiffure which requires that
5861 her nurse shall occasionally officiate as lady's-maid; when, moreover,
5862 her dinner-parties and her drawing-room show that effort at elegance
5863 and completeness of appointment to which ordinary women might imagine
5864 a large income necessary, it would be unreasonable to expect of her
5865 that she should employ a second nurse, or even act as a nurse herself.
5866 Mr. Stelling knew better; he saw that his wife did wonders already,
5867 and was proud of her. It was certainly not the best thing in the world
5868 for young Tulliver's gait to carry a heavy child, but he had plenty of
5869 exercise in long walks with himself, and next half-year Mr. Stelling
5870 would see about having a drilling-master. Among the many means whereby
5871 Mr. Stelling intended to be more fortunate than the bulk of his
5872 fellow-men, he had entirely given up that of having his own way in his
5873 own house. What then? He had married "as kind a little soul as ever
5874 breathed," according to Mr. Riley, who had been acquainted with Mrs.
5875 Stelling's blond ringlets and smiling demeanor throughout her maiden
5876 life, and on the strength of that knowledge would have been ready any
5877 day to pronounce that whatever domestic differences might arise in her
5878 married life must be entirely Mr. Stelling's fault.
5879
5880 If Tom had had a worse disposition, he would certainly have hated the
5881 little cherub Laura, but he was too kind-hearted a lad for that; there
5882 was too much in him of the fibre that turns to true manliness, and to
5883 protecting pity for the weak. I am afraid he hated Mrs. Stelling, and
5884 contracted a lasting dislike to pale blond ringlets and broad plaits,
5885 as directly associated with haughtiness of manner, and a frequent
5886 reference to other people's "duty." But he couldn't help playing with
5887 little Laura, and liking to amuse her; he even sacrificed his
5888 percussion-caps for her sake, in despair of their ever serving a
5889 greater purpose,--thinking the small flash and bang would delight her,
5890 and thereby drawing down on himself a rebuke from Mrs. Stelling for
5891 teaching her child to play with fire. Laura was a sort of
5892 playfellow--and oh, how Tom longed for playfellows! In his secret
5893 heart he yearned to have Maggie with him, and was almost ready to dote
5894 on her exasperating acts of forgetfulness; though, when he was at
5895 home, he always represented it as a great favor on his part to let
5896 Maggie trot by his side on his pleasure excursions.
5897
5898 And before this dreary half-year was ended, Maggie actually came. Mrs.
5899 Stelling had given a general invitation for the little girl to come
5900 and stay with her brother; so when Mr. Tulliver drove over to King's
5901 Lorton late in October, Maggie came too, with the sense that she was
5902 taking a great journey, and beginning to see the world. It was Mr.
5903 Tulliver's first visit to see Tom, for the lad must learn not to think
5904 too much about home.
5905
5906 "Well, my lad," he said to Tom, when Mr. Stelling had left the room to
5907 announce the arrival to his wife, and Maggie had begun to kiss Tom
5908 freely, "you look rarely! School agrees with you."
5909
5910 Tom wished he had looked rather ill.
5911
5912 "I don't think I _am_ well, father," said Tom; "I wish you'd ask Mr.
5913 Stelling not to let me do Euclid; it brings on the toothache, I
5914 think."
5915
5916 (The toothache was the only malady to which Tom had ever been
5917 subject.)
5918
5919 "Euclid, my lad,--why, what's that?" said Mr. Tulliver.
5920
5921 "Oh, I don't know; it's definitions, and axioms, and triangles, and
5922 things. It's a book I've got to learn in--there's no sense in it."
5923
5924 "Go, go!" said Mr. Tulliver, reprovingly; "you mustn't say so. You
5925 must learn what your master tells you. He knows what it's right for
5926 you to learn."
5927
5928 "_I'll_ help you now, Tom," said Maggie, with a little air of
5929 patronizing consolation. "I'm come to stay ever so long, if Mrs.
5930 Stelling asks me. I've brought my box and my pinafores, haven't I,
5931 father?"
5932
5933 "_You_ help me, you silly little thing!" said Tom, in such high
5934 spirits at this announcement that he quite enjoyed the idea of
5935 confounding Maggie by showing her a page of Euclid. "I should like to
5936 see you doing one of _my_ lessons! Why, I learn Latin too! Girls never
5937 learn such things. They're too silly."
5938
5939 "I know what Latin is very well," said Maggie, confidently, "Latin's a
5940 language. There are Latin words in the Dictionary. There's bonus, a
5941 gift."
5942
5943 "Now, you're just wrong there, Miss Maggie!" said Tom, secretly
5944 astonished. "You think you're very wise! But 'bonus' means 'good,' as
5945 it happens,--bonus, bona, bonum."
5946
5947 "Well, that's no reason why it shouldn't mean 'gift,'" said Maggie,
5948 stoutly. "It may mean several things; almost every word does. There's
5949 'lawn,'--it means the grass-plot, as well as the stuff
5950 pocket-handkerchiefs are made of."
5951
5952 "Well done, little 'un," said Mr. Tulliver, laughing, while Tom felt
5953 rather disgusted with Maggie's knowingness, though beyond measure
5954 cheerful at the thought that she was going to stay with him. Her
5955 conceit would soon be overawed by the actual inspection of his books.
5956
5957 Mrs. Stelling, in her pressing invitation, did not mention a longer
5958 time than a week for Maggie's stay; but Mr. Stelling, who took her
5959 between his knees, and asked her where she stole her dark eyes from,
5960 insisted that she must stay a fortnight. Maggie thought Mr. Stelling
5961 was a charming man, and Mr. Tulliver was quite proud to leave his
5962 little wench where she would have an opportunity of showing her
5963 cleverness to appreciating strangers. So it was agreed that she should
5964 not be fetched home till the end of the fortnight.
5965
5966 "Now, then, come with me into the study, Maggie," said Tom, as their
5967 father drove away. "What do you shake and toss your head now for, you
5968 silly?" he continued; for though her hair was now under a new
5969 dispensation, and was brushed smoothly behind her ears, she seemed
5970 still in imagination to be tossing it out of her eyes. "It makes you
5971 look as if you were crazy."
5972
5973 "Oh, I can't help it," said Maggie, impatiently. "Don't tease me, Tom.
5974 Oh, what books!" she exclaimed, as she saw the bookcases in the study.
5975 "How I should like to have as many books as that!"
5976
5977 "Why, you couldn't read one of 'em," said Tom, triumphantly. "They're
5978 all Latin."
5979
5980 "No, they aren't," said Maggie. "I can read the back of
5981 this,--'History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire.'"
5982
5983 "Well, what does that mean? _You_ don't know," said Tom, wagging his
5984 head.
5985
5986 "But I could soon find out," said Maggie, scornfully.
5987
5988 "Why, how?"
5989
5990 "I should look inside, and see what it was about."
5991
5992 "You'd better not, Miss Maggie," said Tom, seeing her hand on the
5993 volume. "Mr. Stelling lets nobody touch his books without leave, and
5994 _I_ shall catch it, if you take it out."
5995
5996 "Oh, very well. Let me see all _your_ books, then," said Maggie,
5997 turning to throw her arms round Tom's neck, and rub his cheek with her
5998 small round nose.
5999
6000 Tom, in the gladness of his heart at having dear old Maggie to dispute
6001 with and crow over again, seized her round the waist, and began to
6002 jump with her round the large library table. Away they jumped with
6003 more and more vigor, till Maggie's hair flew from behind her ears, and
6004 twirled about like an animated mop. But the revolutions round the
6005 table became more and more irregular in their sweep, till at last
6006 reaching Mr. Stelling's reading stand, they sent it thundering down
6007 with its heavy lexicons to the floor. Happily it was the ground-floor,
6008 and the study was a one-storied wing to the house, so that the
6009 downfall made no alarming resonance, though Tom stood dizzy and aghast
6010 for a few minutes, dreading the appearance of Mr. or Mrs. Stelling.
6011
6012 "Oh, I say, Maggie," said Tom at last, lifting up the stand, "we must
6013 keep quiet here, you know. If we break anything Mrs. Stelling'll make
6014 us cry peccavi."
6015
6016 "What's that?" said Maggie.
6017
6018 "Oh, it's the Latin for a good scolding," said Tom, not without some
6019 pride in his knowledge.
6020
6021 "Is she a cross woman?" said Maggie.
6022
6023 "I believe you!" said Tom, with an emphatic nod.
6024
6025 "I think all women are crosser than men," said Maggie. "Aunt Glegg's a
6026 great deal crosser than uncle Glegg, and mother scolds me more than
6027 father does."
6028
6029 "Well, _you'll_ be a woman some day," said Tom, "so _you_ needn't
6030 talk."
6031
6032 "But I shall be a _clever_ woman," said Maggie, with a toss.
6033
6034 "Oh, I dare say, and a nasty conceited thing. Everybody'll hate you."
6035
6036 "But you oughtn't to hate me, Tom; it'll be very wicked of you, for I
6037 shall be your sister."
6038
6039 "Yes, but if you're a nasty disagreeable thing I _shall_ hate you."
6040
6041 "Oh, but, Tom, you won't! I sha'n't be disagreeable. I shall be very
6042 good to you, and I shall be good to everybody. You won't hate me
6043 really, will you, Tom?"
6044
6045 "Oh, bother! never mind! Come, it's time for me to learn my lessons.
6046 See here! what I've got to do," said Tom, drawing Maggie toward him
6047 and showing her his theorem, while she pushed her hair behind her
6048 ears, and prepared herself to prove her capability of helping him in
6049 Euclid. She began to read with full confidence in her own powers, but
6050 presently, becoming quite bewildered, her face flushed with
6051 irritation. It was unavoidable; she must confess her incompetency, and
6052 she was not fond of humiliation.
6053
6054 "It's nonsense!" she said, "and very ugly stuff; nobody need want to
6055 make it out."
6056
6057 "Ah, there, now, Miss Maggie!" said Tom, drawing the book away, and
6058 wagging his head at her, "You see you're not so clever as you thought
6059 you were."
6060
6061 "Oh," said Maggie, pouting, "I dare say I could make it out, if I'd
6062 learned what goes before, as you have."
6063
6064 "But that's what you just couldn't, Miss Wisdom," said Tom. "For it's
6065 all the harder when you know what goes before; for then you've got to
6066 say what definition 3 is, and what axiom V. is. But get along with you
6067 now; I must go on with this. Here's the Latin Grammar. See what you
6068 can make of that."
6069
6070 Maggie found the Latin Grammar quite soothing after her mathematical
6071 mortification; for she delighted in new words, and quickly found that
6072 there was an English Key at the end, which would make her very wise
6073 about Latin, at slight expense. She presently made up her mind to skip
6074 the rules in the Syntax, the examples became so absorbing. These
6075 mysterious sentences, snatched from an unknown context,--like strange
6076 horns of beasts, and leaves of unknown plants, brought from some
6077 far-off region,--gave boundless scope to her imagination, and were all
6078 the more fascinating because they were in a peculiar tongue of their
6079 own, which she could learn to interpret. It was really very
6080 interesting, the Latin Grammar that Tom had said no girls could learn;
6081 and she was proud because she found it interesting. The most
6082 fragmentary examples were her favourites. _Mors omnibus est communis_
6083 would have been jejune, only she liked to know the Latin; but the
6084 fortunate gentleman whom every one congratulated because he had a son
6085 "endowed with _such_ a disposition" afforded her a great deal of
6086 pleasant conjecture, and she was quite lost in the "thick grove
6087 penetrable by no star," when Tom called out,--
6088
6089 "Now, then, Magsie, give us the Grammar!"
6090
6091 "Oh, Tom, it's such a pretty book!" she said, as she jumped out of the
6092 large arm-chair to give it him; "it's much prettier than the
6093 Dictionary. I could learn Latin very soon. I don't think it's at all
6094 hard."
6095
6096 "Oh, I know what you've been doing," said Tom; "you've been reading
6097 the English at the end. Any donkey can do that."
6098
6099 Tom seized the book and opened it with a determined and business-like
6100 air, as much as to say that he had a lesson to learn which no donkeys
6101 would find themselves equal to. Maggie, rather piqued, turned to the
6102 bookcases to amuse herself with puzzling out the titles.
6103
6104 Presently Tom called to her: "Here, Magsie, come and hear if I can say
6105 this. Stand at that end of the table, where Mr. Stelling sits when he
6106 hears me."
6107
6108 Maggie obeyed, and took the open book.
6109
6110 "Where do you begin, Tom?"
6111
6112 "Oh, I begin at _'Appellativa arborum,'_ because I say all over again
6113 what I've been learning this week."
6114
6115 Tom sailed along pretty well for three lines; and Maggie was beginning
6116 to forget her office of prompter in speculating as to what _mas_ could
6117 mean, which came twice over, when he stuck fast at _Sunt etiam
6118 volucrum_.
6119
6120 "Don't tell me, Maggie; _Sunt etiam volucrum_--_Sunt etiam
6121 volucrum_--_ut ostrea, cetus_----"
6122
6123 "No," said Maggie, opening her mouth and shaking her head.
6124
6125 "_Sunt etiam volucrum_," said Tom, very slowly, as if the next words
6126 might be expected to come sooner when he gave them this strong hint
6127 that they were waited for.
6128
6129 "C, e, u," said Maggie, getting impatient.
6130
6131 "Oh, I know--hold your tongue," said Tom. "_Ceu passer, hirundo;
6132 Ferarum_--_ferarum_----" Tom took his pencil and made several hard
6133 dots with it on his book-cover--"_ferarum_----"
6134
6135 "Oh dear, oh dear, Tom," said Maggie, "what a time you are! _Ut_----"
6136
6137 "_Ut ostrea_----"
6138
6139 "No, no," said Maggie, "_ut tigris_----"
6140
6141 "Oh yes, now I can do," said Tom; "it was _tigris, vulpes_, I'd
6142 forgotten: _ut tigris, volupes; et Piscium_."
6143
6144 With some further stammering and repetition, Tom got through the next
6145 few lines.
6146
6147 "Now, then," he said, "the next is what I've just learned for
6148 to-morrow. Give me hold of the book a minute."
6149
6150 After some whispered gabbling, assisted by the beating of his fist on
6151 the table, Tom returned the book.
6152
6153 "_Mascula nomina in a_," he began.
6154
6155 "No, Tom," said Maggie, "that doesn't come next. It's _Nomen non
6156 creskens genittivo_----"
6157
6158 "_Creskens genittivo!_" exclaimed Tom, with a derisive laugh, for Tom
6159 had learned this omitted passage for his yesterday's lesson, and a
6160 young gentleman does not require an intimate or extensive acquaintance
6161 with Latin before he can feel the pitiable absurdity of a false
6162 quantity. "_Creskens genittivo!_ What a little silly you are, Maggie!"
6163
6164 "Well, you needn't laugh, Tom, for you didn't remember it at all. I'm
6165 sure it's spelt so; how was I to know?"
6166
6167 "Phee-e-e-h! I told you girls couldn't learn Latin. It's _Nomen non
6168 crescens genitivo_."
6169
6170 "Very well, then," said Maggie, pouting. "I can say that as well as you
6171 can. And you don't mind your stops. For you ought to stop twice as
6172 long at a semicolon as you do at a comma, and you make the longest
6173 stops where there ought to be no stop at all."
6174
6175 "Oh, well, don't chatter. Let me go on."
6176
6177 They were presently fetched to spend the rest of the evening in the
6178 drawing-room, and Maggie became so animated with Mr. Stelling, who,
6179 she felt sure, admired her cleverness, that Tom was rather amazed and
6180 alarmed at her audacity. But she was suddenly subdued by Mr.
6181 Stelling's alluding to a little girl of whom he had heard that she
6182 once ran away to the gypsies.
6183
6184 "What a very odd little girl that must be!" said Mrs. Stelling,
6185 meaning to be playful; but a playfulness that turned on her supposed
6186 oddity was not at all to Maggie's taste. She feared that Mr. Stelling,
6187 after all, did not think much of her, and went to bed in rather low
6188 spirits. Mrs. Stelling, she felt, looked at her as if she thought her
6189 hair was very ugly because it hung down straight behind.
6190
6191 Nevertheless it was a very happy fortnight to Maggie, this visit to
6192 Tom. She was allowed to be in the study while he had his lessons, and
6193 in her various readings got very deep into the examples in the Latin
6194 Grammar. The astronomer who hated women generally caused her so much
6195 puzzling speculation that she one day asked Mr. Stelling if all
6196 astronomers hated women, or whether it was only this particular
6197 astronomer. But forestalling his answer, she said,--
6198
6199 "I suppose it's all astronomers; because, you know, they live up in
6200 high towers, and if the women came there they might talk and hinder
6201 them from looking at the stars."
6202
6203 Mr. Stelling liked her prattle immensely, and they were on the best
6204 terms. She told Tom she should like to go to school to Mr. Stelling,
6205 as he did, and learn just the same things. She knew she could do
6206 Euclid, for she had looked into it again, and she saw what A B C
6207 meant; they were the names of the lines.
6208
6209 "I'm sure you couldn't do it, now," said Tom; "and I'll just ask Mr.
6210 Stelling if you could."
6211
6212 "I don't mind," said the little conceited minx, "I'll ask him myself."
6213
6214 "Mr. Stelling," she said, that same evening when they were in the
6215 drawing-room, "couldn't I do Euclid, and all Tom's lessons, if you
6216 were to teach me instead of him?"
6217
6218 "No, you couldn't," said Tom, indignantly. "Girls can't do Euclid; can
6219 they, sir?"
6220
6221 "They can pick up a little of everything, I dare say," said Mr.
6222 Stelling. "They've a great deal of superficial cleverness; but they
6223 couldn't go far into anything. They're quick and shallow."
6224
6225 Tom, delighted with this verdict, telegraphed his triumph by wagging
6226 his head at Maggie, behind Mr. Stelling's chair. As for Maggie, she
6227 had hardly ever been so mortified. She had been so proud to be called
6228 "quick" all her little life, and now it appeared that this quickness
6229 was the brand of inferiority. It would have been better to be slow,
6230 like Tom.
6231
6232 "Ha, ha! Miss Maggie!" said Tom, when they were alone; "you see it's
6233 not such a fine thing to be quick. You'll never go far into anything,
6234 you know."
6235
6236 And Maggie was so oppressed by this dreadful destiny that she had no
6237 spirit for a retort.
6238
6239 But when this small apparatus of shallow quickness was fetched away in
6240 the gig by Luke, and the study was once more quite lonely for Tom, he
6241 missed her grievously. He had really been brighter, and had got
6242 through his lessons better, since she had been there; and she had
6243 asked Mr. Stelling so many questions about the Roman Empire, and
6244 whether there really ever was a man who said, in Latin, "I would not
6245 buy it for a farthing or a rotten nut," or whether that had only been
6246 turned into Latin, that Tom had actually come to a dim understanding
6247 of the fact that there had once been people upon the earth who were so
6248 fortunate as to know Latin without learning it through the medium of
6249 the Eton Grammar. This luminous idea was a great addition to his
6250 historical acquirements during this half-year, which were otherwise
6251 confined to an epitomized history of the Jews.
6252
6253 But the dreary half-year _did_ come to an end. How glad Tom was to see
6254 the last yellow leaves fluttering before the cold wind! The dark
6255 afternoons and the first December snow seemed to him far livelier than
6256 the August sunshine; and that he might make himself the surer about
6257 the flight of the days that were carrying him homeward, he stuck
6258 twenty-one sticks deep in a corner of the garden, when he was three
6259 weeks from the holidays, and pulled one up every day with a great
6260 wrench, throwing it to a distance with a vigor of will which would
6261 have carried it to limbo, if it had been in the nature of sticks to
6262 travel so far.
6263
6264 But it was worth purchasing, even at the heavy price of the Latin
6265 Grammar, the happiness of seeing the bright light in the parlor at
6266 home, as the gig passed noiselessly over the snow-covered bridge; the
6267 happiness of passing from the cold air to the warmth and the kisses
6268 and the smiles of that familiar hearth, where the pattern of the rug
6269 and the grate and the fire-irons were "first ideas" that it was no
6270 more possible to criticise than the solidity and extension of matter.
6271 There is no sense of ease like the ease we felt in those scenes where
6272 we were born, where objects became dear to us before we had known the
6273 labor of choice, and where the outer world seemed only an extension of
6274 our own personality; we accepted and loved it as we accepted our own
6275 sense of existence and our own limbs. Very commonplace, even ugly,
6276 that furniture of our early home might look if it were put up to
6277 auction; an improved taste in upholstery scorns it; and is not the
6278 striving after something better and better in our surroundings the
6279 grand characteristic that distinguishes man from the brute, or, to
6280 satisfy a scrupulous accuracy of definition, that distinguishes the
6281 British man from the foreign brute? But heaven knows where that
6282 striving might lead us, if our affections had not a trick of twining
6283 round those old inferior things; if the loves and sanctities of our
6284 life had no deep immovable roots in memory. One's delight in an
6285 elderberry bush overhanging the confused leafage of a hedgerow bank,
6286 as a more gladdening sight than the finest cistus or fuchsia spreading
6287 itself on the softest undulating turf, is an entirely unjustifiable
6288 preference to a nursery-gardener, or to any of those regulated minds
6289 who are free from the weakness of any attachment that does not rest on
6290 a demonstrable superiority of qualities. And there is no better reason
6291 for preferring this elderberry bush than that it stirs an early
6292 memory; that it is no novelty in my life, speaking to me merely
6293 through my present sensibilities to form and color, but the long
6294 companion of my existence, that wove itself into my joys when joys
6295 were vivid.
6296
6297
6298
6299 Chapter II
6300
6301 The Christmas Holidays
6302
6303
6304 Fine old Christmas, with the snowy hair and ruddy face, had done his
6305 duty that year in the noblest fashion, and had set off his rich gifts
6306 of warmth and color with all the heightening contrast of frost and
6307 snow.
6308
6309 Snow lay on the croft and river-bank in undulations softer than the
6310 limbs of infancy; it lay with the neatliest finished border on every
6311 sloping roof, making the dark-red gables stand out with a new depth of
6312 color; it weighed heavily on the laurels and fir-trees, till it fell
6313 from them with a shuddering sound; it clothed the rough turnip-field
6314 with whiteness, and made the sheep look like dark blotches; the gates
6315 were all blocked up with the sloping drifts, and here and there a
6316 disregarded four-footed beast stood as if petrified "in unrecumbent
6317 sadness"; there was no gleam, no shadow, for the heavens, too, were
6318 one still, pale cloud; no sound or motion in anything but the dark
6319 river that flowed and moaned like an unresting sorrow. But old
6320 Christmas smiled as he laid this cruel-seeming spell on the outdoor
6321 world, for he meant to light up home with new brightness, to deepen
6322 all the richness of indoor color, and give a keener edge of delight to
6323 the warm fragrance of food; he meant to prepare a sweet imprisonment
6324 that would strengthen the primitive fellowship of kindred, and make
6325 the sunshine of familiar human faces as welcome as the hidden
6326 day-star. His kindness fell but hardly on the homeless,--fell but
6327 hardly on the homes where the hearth was not very warm, and where the
6328 food had little fragrance; where the human faces had had no sunshine
6329 in them, but rather the leaden, blank-eyed gaze of unexpectant want.
6330 But the fine old season meant well; and if he has not learned the
6331 secret how to bless men impartially, it is because his father Time,
6332 with ever-unrelenting unrelenting purpose, still hides that secret in
6333 his own mighty, slow-beating heart.
6334
6335 And yet this Christmas day, in spite of Tom's fresh delight in home,
6336 was not, he thought, somehow or other, quite so happy as it had always
6337 been before. The red berries were just as abundant on the holly, and
6338 he and Maggie had dressed all the windows and mantlepieces and
6339 picture-frames on Christmas eve with as much taste as ever, wedding
6340 the thick-set scarlet clusters with branches of the black-berried ivy.
6341 There had been singing under the windows after midnight,--supernatural
6342 singing, Maggie always felt, in spite of Tom's contemptuous insistence
6343 that the singers were old Patch, the parish clerk, and the rest of the
6344 church choir; she trembled with awe when their carolling broke in upon
6345 her dreams, and the image of men in fustian clothes was always thrust
6346 away by the vision of angels resting on the parted cloud. The midnight
6347 chant had helped as usual to lift the morning above the level of
6348 common days; and then there were the smell of hot toast and ale from
6349 the kitchen, at the breakfast hour; the favorite anthem, the green
6350 boughs, and the short sermon gave the appropriate festal character to
6351 the church-going; and aunt and uncle Moss, with all their seven
6352 children, were looking like so many reflectors of the bright
6353 parlor-fire, when the church-goers came back, stamping the snow from
6354 their feet. The plum-pudding was of the same handsome roundness as
6355 ever, and came in with the symbolic blue flames around it, as if it
6356 had been heroically snatched from the nether fires, into which it had
6357 been thrown by dyspeptic Puritans; the dessert was as splendid as
6358 ever, with its golden oranges, brown nuts, and the crystalline light
6359 and dark of apple-jelly and damson cheese; in all these things
6360 Christmas was as it had always been since Tom could remember; it was
6361 only distinguished, if by anything, by superior sliding and snowballs.
6362
6363 Christmas was cheery, but not so Mr. Tulliver. He was irate and
6364 defiant; and Tom, though he espoused his father's quarrels and shared
6365 his father's sense of injury, was not without some of the feeling that
6366 oppressed Maggie when Mr. Tulliver got louder and more angry in
6367 narration and assertion with the increased leisure of dessert. The
6368 attention that Tom might have concentrated on his nuts and wine was
6369 distracted by a sense that there were rascally enemies in the world,
6370 and that the business of grown-up life could hardly be conducted
6371 without a good deal of quarrelling. Now, Tom was not fond of
6372 quarrelling, unless it could soon be put an end to by a fair stand-up
6373 fight with an adversary whom he had every chance of thrashing; and his
6374 father's irritable talk made him uncomfortable, though he never
6375 accounted to himself for the feeling, or conceived the notion that his
6376 father was faulty in this respect.
6377
6378 The particular embodiment of the evil principle now exciting Mr.
6379 Tulliver's determined resistance was Mr. Pivart, who, having lands
6380 higher up the Ripple, was taking measures for their irrigation, which
6381 either were, or would be, or were bound to be (on the principle that
6382 water was water), an infringement on Mr. Tulliver's legitimate share
6383 of water-power. Dix, who had a mill on the stream, was a feeble
6384 auxiliary of Old Harry compared with Pivart. Dix had been brought to
6385 his senses by arbitration, and Wakem's advice had not carried _him_
6386 far. No; Dix, Mr. Tulliver considered, had been as good as nowhere in
6387 point of law; and in the intensity of his indignation against Pivart,
6388 his contempt for a baffled adversary like Dix began to wear the air of
6389 a friendly attachment. He had no male audience to-day except Mr. Moss,
6390 who knew nothing, as he said, of the "natur' o' mills," and could only
6391 assent to Mr. Tulliver's arguments on the _a priori_ ground of family
6392 relationship and monetary obligation; but Mr. Tulliver did not talk
6393 with the futile intention of convincing his audience, he talked to
6394 relieve himself; while good Mr. Moss made strong efforts to keep his
6395 eyes wide open, in spite of the sleepiness which an unusually good
6396 dinner produced in his hard-worked frame. Mrs. Moss, more alive to the
6397 subject, and interested in everything that affected her brother,
6398 listened and put in a word as often as maternal preoccupations
6399 allowed.
6400
6401 "Why, Pivart's a new name hereabout, brother, isn't it?" she said; "he
6402 didn't own the land in father's time, nor yours either, before I was
6403 married."
6404
6405 "New name? Yes, I should think it _is_ a new name," said Mr. Tulliver,
6406 with angry emphasis. "Dorlcote Mill's been in our family a hundred
6407 year and better, and nobody ever heard of a Pivart meddling with the
6408 river, till this fellow came and bought Bincome's farm out of hand,
6409 before anybody else could so much as say 'snap.' But I'll _Pivart_
6410 him!" added Mr. Tulliver, lifting his glass with a sense that he had
6411 defined his resolution in an unmistakable manner.
6412
6413 "You won't be forced to go to law with him, I hope, brother?" said
6414 Mrs. Moss, with some anxiety.
6415
6416 "I don't know what I shall be forced to; but I know what I shall force
6417 _him_ to, with his dikes and erigations, if there's any law to be
6418 brought to bear o' the right side. I know well enough who's at the
6419 bottom of it; he's got Wakem to back him and egg him on. I know Wakem
6420 tells him the law can't touch him for it, but there's folks can handle
6421 the law besides Wakem. It takes a big raskil to beat him; but there's
6422 bigger to be found, as know more o' th' ins and outs o' the law, else
6423 how came Wakem to lose Brumley's suit for him?"
6424
6425 Mr. Tulliver was a strictly honest man, and proud of being honest, but
6426 he considered that in law the ends of justice could only be achieved
6427 by employing a stronger knave to frustrate a weaker. Law was a sort of
6428 cock-fight, in which it was the business of injured honesty to get a
6429 game bird with the best pluck and the strongest spurs.
6430
6431 "Gore's no fool; you needn't tell me that," he observed presently, in
6432 a pugnacious tone, as if poor Gritty had been urging that lawyer's
6433 capabilities; "but, you see, he isn't up to the law as Wakem is. And
6434 water's a very particular thing; you can't pick it up with a
6435 pitchfork. That's why it's been nuts to Old Harry and the lawyers.
6436 It's plain enough what's the rights and the wrongs of water, if you
6437 look at it straight-forrard; for a river's a river, and if you've got
6438 a mill, you must have water to turn it; and it's no use telling me
6439 Pivart's erigation and nonsense won't stop my wheel; I know what
6440 belongs to water better than that. Talk to me o' what th' engineers
6441 say! I say it's common sense, as Pivart's dikes must do me an injury.
6442 But if that's their engineering, I'll put Tom to it by-and-by, and he
6443 shall see if he can't find a bit more sense in th' engineering
6444 business than what _that_ comes to."
6445
6446 Tom, looking round with some anxiety at this announcement of his
6447 prospects, unthinkingly withdrew a small rattle he was amusing baby
6448 Moss with, whereupon she, being a baby that knew her own mind with
6449 remarkable clearness, instantaneously expressed her sentiments in a
6450 piercing yell, and was not to be appeased even by the restoration of
6451 the rattle, feeling apparently that the original wrong of having it
6452 taken from her remained in all its force. Mrs. Moss hurried away with
6453 her into another room, and expressed to Mrs. Tulliver, who accompanied
6454 her, the conviction that the dear child had good reasons for crying;
6455 implying that if it was supposed to be the rattle that baby clamored
6456 for, she was a misunderstood baby. The thoroughly justifiable yell
6457 being quieted, Mrs. Moss looked at her sister-in-law and said,--
6458
6459 "I'm sorry to see brother so put out about this water work."
6460
6461 "It's your brother's way, Mrs. Moss; I'd never anything o' that sort
6462 before I was married," said Mrs. Tulliver, with a half-implied
6463 reproach. She always spoke of her husband as "your brother" to Mrs.
6464 Moss in any case when his line of conduct was not matter of pure
6465 admiration. Amiable Mrs. Tulliver, who was never angry in her life,
6466 had yet her mild share of that spirit without which she could hardly
6467 have been at once a Dodson and a woman. Being always on the defensive
6468 toward her own sisters, it was natural that she should be keenly
6469 conscious of her superiority, even as the weakest Dodson, over a
6470 husband's sister, who, besides being poorly off, and inclined to "hang
6471 on" her brother, had the good-natured submissiveness of a large,
6472 easy-tempered, untidy, prolific woman, with affection enough in her
6473 not only for her own husband and abundant children, but for any number
6474 of collateral relations.
6475
6476 "I hope and pray he won't go to law," said Mrs. Moss, "for there's
6477 never any knowing where that'll end. And the right doesn't allays win.
6478 This Mr. Pivart's a rich man, by what I can make out, and the rich
6479 mostly get things their own way."
6480
6481 "As to that," said Mrs. Tulliver, stroking her dress down, "I've seen
6482 what riches are in my own family; for my sisters have got husbands as
6483 can afford to do pretty much what they like. But I think sometimes I
6484 shall be drove off my head with the talk about this law and erigation;
6485 and my sisters lay all the fault to me, for they don't know what it is
6486 to marry a man like your brother; how should they? Sister Pullet has
6487 her own way from morning till night."
6488
6489 "Well," said Mrs. Moss, "I don't think I should like my husband if he
6490 hadn't got any wits of his own, and I had to find head-piece for him.
6491 It's a deal easier to do what pleases one's husband, than to be
6492 puzzling what else one should do."
6493
6494 "If people come to talk o' doing what pleases their husbands," said
6495 Mrs. Tulliver, with a faint imitation of her sister Glegg, "I'm sure
6496 your brother might have waited a long while before he'd have found a
6497 wife that 'ud have let him have his say in everything, as I do. It's
6498 nothing but law and erigation now, from when we first get up in the
6499 morning till we go to bed at night; and I never contradict him; I only
6500 say, 'Well, Mr. Tulliver, do as you like; but whativer you do, don't
6501 go to law."
6502
6503 Mrs. Tulliver, as we have seen, was not without influence over her
6504 husband. No woman is; she can always incline him to do either what she
6505 wishes, or the reverse; and on the composite impulses that were
6506 threatening to hurry Mr. Tulliver into "law," Mrs. Tulliver's
6507 monotonous pleading had doubtless its share of force; it might even be
6508 comparable to that proverbial feather which has the credit or
6509 discredit of breaking the camel's back; though, on a strictly
6510 impartial view, the blame ought rather to lie with the previous weight
6511 of feathers which had already placed the back in such imminent peril
6512 that an otherwise innocent feather could not settle on it without
6513 mischief. Not that Mrs. Tulliver's feeble beseeching could have had
6514 this feather's weight in virtue of her single personality; but
6515 whenever she departed from entire assent to her husband, he saw in her
6516 the representative of the Dodson family; and it was a guiding
6517 principle with Mr. Tulliver to let the Dodsons know that they were not
6518 to domineer over _him_, or--more specifically--that a male Tulliver
6519 was far more than equal to four female Dodsons, even though one of
6520 them was Mrs. Glegg.
6521
6522 But not even a direct argument from that typical Dodson female herself
6523 against his going to law could have heightened his disposition toward
6524 it so much as the mere thought of Wakem, continually freshened by the
6525 sight of the too able attorney on market-days. Wakem, to his certain
6526 knowledge, was (metaphorically speaking) at the bottom of Pivart's
6527 irrigation; Wakem had tried to make Dix stand out, and go to law about
6528 the dam; it was unquestionably Wakem who had caused Mr. Tulliver to
6529 lose the suit about the right of road and the bridge that made a
6530 thoroughfare of his land for every vagabond who preferred an
6531 opportunity of damaging private property to walking like an honest man
6532 along the highroad; all lawyers were more or less rascals, but Wakem's
6533 rascality was of that peculiarly aggravated kind which placed itself
6534 in opposition to that form of right embodied in Mr. Tulliver's
6535 interests and opinions. And as an extra touch of bitterness, the
6536 injured miller had recently, in borrowing the five hundred pounds,
6537 been obliged to carry a little business to Wakem's office on his own
6538 account. A hook-nosed glib fellow! as cool as a cucumber,--always
6539 looking so sure of his game! And it was vexatious that Lawyer Gore was
6540 not more like him, but was a bald, round-featured man, with bland
6541 manners and fat hands; a game-cock that you would be rash to bet upon
6542 against Wakem. Gore was a sly fellow. His weakness did not lie on the
6543 side of scrupulosity; but the largest amount of winking, however
6544 significant, is not equivalent to seeing through a stone wall; and
6545 confident as Mr. Tulliver was in his principle that water was water,
6546 and in the direct inference that Pivart had not a leg to stand on in
6547 this affair of irrigation, he had an uncomfortable suspicion that
6548 Wakem had more law to show against this (rationally) irrefragable
6549 inference than Gore could show for it. But then, if they went to law,
6550 there was a chance for Mr. Tulliver to employ Counsellor Wylde on his
6551 side, instead of having that admirable bully against him; and the
6552 prospect of seeing a witness of Wakem's made to perspire and become
6553 confounded, as Mr. Tulliver's witness had once been, was alluring to
6554 the love of retributive justice.
6555
6556 Much rumination had Mr. Tulliver on these puzzling subjects during his
6557 rides on the gray horse; much turning of the head from side to side,
6558 as the scales dipped alternately; but the probable result was still
6559 out of sight, only to be reached through much hot argument and
6560 iteration in domestic and social life. That initial stage of the
6561 dispute which consisted in the narration of the case and the
6562 enforcement of Mr. Tulliver's views concerning it throughout the
6563 entire circle of his connections would necessarily take time; and at
6564 the beginning of February, when Tom was going to school again, there
6565 were scarcely any new items to be detected in his father's statement
6566 of the case against Pivart, or any more specific indication of the
6567 measures he was bent on taking against that rash contravener of the
6568 principle that water was water. Iteration, like friction, is likely to
6569 generate heat instead of progress, and Mr. Tulliver's heat was
6570 certainly more and more palpable. If there had been no new evidence on
6571 any other point, there had been new evidence that Pivart was as "thick
6572 as mud" with Wakem.
6573
6574 "Father," said Tom, one evening near the end of the holidays, "uncle
6575 Glegg says Lawyer Wakem _is_ going to send his son to Mr. Stelling. It
6576 isn't true, what they said about his going to be sent to France. You
6577 won't like me to go to school with Wakem's son, shall you?"
6578
6579 "It's no matter for that, my boy," said Mr. Tulliver; "don't you learn
6580 anything bad of him, that's all. The lad's a poor deformed creatur,
6581 and takes after his mother in the face; I think there isn't much of
6582 his father in him. It's a sign Wakem thinks high o' Mr. Sterling, as
6583 he sends his son to him, and Wakem knows meal from bran."
6584
6585 Mr. Tulliver in his heart was rather proud of the fact that his son
6586 was to have the same advantages as Wakem's; but Tom was not at all
6587 easy on the point. It would have been much clearer if the lawyer's son
6588 had not been deformed, for then Tom would have had the prospect of
6589 pitching into him with all that freedom which is derived from a high
6590 moral sanction.
6591
6592
6593
6594 Chapter III
6595
6596 The New Schoolfellow
6597
6598
6599 It was a cold, wet January day on which Tom went back to school; a day
6600 quite in keeping with this severe phase of his destiny. If he had not
6601 carried in his pocket a parcel of sugar-candy and a small Dutch doll
6602 for little Laura, there would have been no ray of expected pleasure to
6603 enliven the general gloom. But he liked to think how Laura would put
6604 out her lips and her tiny hands for the bits of sugarcandy; and to
6605 give the greater keenness to these pleasures of imagination, he took
6606 out the parcel, made a small hole in the paper, and bit off a crystal
6607 or two, which had so solacing an effect under the confined prospect
6608 and damp odors of the gig-umbrella, that he repeated the process more
6609 than once on his way.
6610
6611 "Well, Tulliver, we're glad to see you again," said Mr. Stelling,
6612 heartily. "Take off your wrappings and come into the study till
6613 dinner. You'll find a bright fire there, and a new companion."
6614
6615 Tom felt in an uncomfortable flutter as he took off his woollen
6616 comforter and other wrappings. He had seen Philip Wakem at St. Ogg's,
6617 but had always turned his eyes away from him as quickly as possible.
6618 He would have disliked having a deformed boy for his companion, even
6619 if Philip had not been the son of a bad man. And Tom did not see how a
6620 bad man's son could be very good. His own father was a good man, and
6621 he would readily have fought any one who said the contrary. He was in
6622 a state of mingled embarrassment and defiance as he followed Mr.
6623 Stelling to the study.
6624
6625 "Here is a new companion for you to shake hands with, Tulliver," said
6626 that gentleman on entering the study,--"Master Philip Wakem. I shall
6627 leave you to make acquaintance by yourselves. You already know
6628 something of each other, I imagine; for you are neighbors at home."
6629
6630 Tom looked confused and awkward, while Philip rose and glanced at him
6631 timidly. Tom did not like to go up and put out his hand, and he was
6632 not prepared to say, "How do you do?" on so short a notice.
6633
6634 Mr. Stelling wisely turned away, and closed the door behind him; boys'
6635 shyness only wears off in the absence of their elders.
6636
6637 Philip was at once too proud and too timid to walk toward Tom. He
6638 thought, or rather felt, that Tom had an aversion to looking at him;
6639 every one, almost, disliked looking at him; and his deformity was more
6640 conspicuous when he walked. So they remained without shaking hands or
6641 even speaking, while Tom went to the fire and warmed himself, every
6642 now and then casting furtive glances at Philip, who seemed to be
6643 drawing absently first one object and then another on a piece of paper
6644 he had before him. He had seated himself again, and as he drew, was
6645 thinking what he could say to Tom, and trying to overcome his own
6646 repugnance to making the first advances.
6647
6648 Tom began to look oftener and longer at Philip's face, for he could
6649 see it without noticing the hump, and it was really not a disagreeable
6650 face,--very old-looking, Tom thought. He wondered how much older
6651 Philip was than himself. An anatomist--even a mere physiognomist--
6652 would have seen that the deformity of Philip's spine was not a
6653 congenital hump, but the result of an accident in infancy; but you
6654 do not expect from Tom any acquaintance with such distinctions;
6655 to him, Philip was simply a humpback. He had a vague notion
6656 that the deformity of Wakem's son had some relation to the lawyer's
6657 rascality, of which he had so often heard his father talk with hot
6658 emphasis; and he felt, too, a half-admitted fear of him as probably
6659 a spiteful fellow, who, not being able to fight you, had cunning
6660 ways of doing you a mischief by the sly. There was a humpbacked
6661 tailor in the neighborhood of Mr. Jacobs's academy, who was considered
6662 a very unamiable character, and was much hooted after by public-spirited
6663 boys solely on the ground of his unsatisfactory moral qualities; so
6664 that Tom was not without a basis of fact to go upon. Still, no face
6665 could be more unlike that ugly tailor's than this melancholy boy's
6666 face,--the brown hair round it waved and curled at the ends like a
6667 girl's; Tom thought that truly pitiable. This Wakem was a pale,
6668 puny fellow, and it was quite clear he would not be able to play at
6669 anything worth speaking of; but he handled his pencil in an enviable
6670 manner, and was apparently making one thing after another without
6671 any trouble. What was he drawing? Tom was quite warm now, and wanted
6672 something new to be going forward. It was certainly more agreeable
6673 to have an ill-natured humpback as a companion than to stand looking
6674 out of the study window at the rain, and kicking his foot against
6675 the washboard in solitude; something would happen every day,--
6676 "a quarrel or something"; and Tom thought he should rather like to
6677 show Philip that he had better not try his spiteful tricks on _him_.
6678 He suddenly walked across the hearth and looked over Philip's paper.
6679
6680 "Why, that's a donkey with panniers, and a spaniel, and partridges in
6681 the corn!" he exclaimed, his tongue being completely loosed by
6682 surprise and admiration. "Oh my buttons! I wish I could draw like
6683 that. I'm to learn drawing this half; I wonder if I shall learn to
6684 make dogs and donkeys!"
6685
6686 "Oh, you can do them without learning," said Philip; "I never learned
6687 drawing."
6688
6689 "Never learned?" said Tom, in amazement. "Why, when I make dogs and
6690 horses, and those things, the heads and the legs won't come right;
6691 though I can see how they ought to be very well. I can make houses,
6692 and all sorts of chimneys,--chimneys going all down the wall,--and
6693 windows in the roof, and all that. But I dare say I could do dogs and
6694 horses if I was to try more," he added, reflecting that Philip might
6695 falsely suppose that he was going to "knock under," if he were too
6696 frank about the imperfection of his accomplishments.
6697
6698 "Oh, yes," said Philip, "it's very easy. You've only to look well at
6699 things, and draw them over and over again. What you do wrong once, you
6700 can alter the next time."
6701
6702 "But haven't you been taught _any_thing?" said Tom, beginning to have
6703 a puzzled suspicion that Philip's crooked back might be the source of
6704 remarkable faculties. "I thought you'd been to school a long while."
6705
6706 "Yes," said Philip, smiling; "I've been taught Latin and Greek and
6707 mathematics, and writing and such things."
6708
6709 "Oh, but I say, you don't like Latin, though, do you?" said Tom,
6710 lowering his voice confidentially.
6711
6712 "Pretty well; I don't care much about it," said Philip.
6713
6714 "Ah, but perhaps you haven't got into the _Propria quæ maribus_," said
6715 Tom, nodding his head sideways, as much as to say, "that was the test;
6716 it was easy talking till you came to _that_."
6717
6718 Philip felt some bitter complacency in the promising stupidity of this
6719 well-made, active-looking boy; but made polite by his own extreme
6720 sensitiveness, as well as by his desire to conciliate, he checked his
6721 inclination to laugh, and said quietly,--
6722
6723 "I've done with the grammar; I don't learn that any more."
6724
6725 "Then you won't have the same lessons as I shall?" said Tom, with a
6726 sense of disappointment.
6727
6728 "No; but I dare say I can help you. I shall be very glad to help you
6729 if I can."
6730
6731 Tom did not say "Thank you," for he was quite absorbed in the thought
6732 that Wakem's son did not seem so spiteful a fellow as might have been
6733 expected.
6734
6735 "I say," he said presently, "do you love your father?"
6736
6737 "Yes," said Philip, coloring deeply; "don't you love yours?"
6738
6739 "Oh yes--I only wanted to know," said Tom, rather ashamed of himself,
6740 now he saw Philip coloring and looking uncomfortable. He found much
6741 difficulty in adjusting his attitude of mind toward the son of Lawyer
6742 Wakem, and it had occurred to him that if Philip disliked his father,
6743 that fact might go some way toward clearing up his perplexity.
6744
6745 "Shall you learn drawing now?" he said, by way of changing the
6746 subject.
6747
6748 "No," said Philip. "My father wishes me to give all my time to other
6749 things now."
6750
6751 "What! Latin and Euclid, and those things?" said Tom.
6752
6753 "Yes," said Philip, who had left off using his pencil, and was resting
6754 his head on one hand, while Tom was learning forward on both elbows,
6755 and looking with increasing admiration at the dog and the donkey.
6756
6757 "And you don't mind that?" said Tom, with strong curiosity.
6758
6759 "No; I like to know what everybody else knows. I can study what I like
6760 by-and-by."
6761
6762 "I can't think why anybody should learn Latin," said Tom. "It's no
6763 good."
6764
6765 "It's part of the education of a gentleman," said Philip. "All
6766 gentlemen learn the same things."
6767
6768 "What! do you think Sir John Crake, the master of the harriers, knows
6769 Latin?" said Tom, who had often thought he should like to resemble Sir
6770 John Crake.
6771
6772 "He learned it when he was a boy, of course," said Philip. "But I dare
6773 say he's forgotten it."
6774
6775 "Oh, well, I can do that, then," said Tom, not with any epigrammatic
6776 intention, but with serious satisfaction at the idea that, as far as
6777 Latin was concerned, there was no hindrance to his resembling Sir John
6778 Crake. "Only you're obliged to remember it while you're at school,
6779 else you've got to learn ever so many lines of 'Speaker.' Mr.
6780 Stelling's very particular--did you know? He'll have you up ten times
6781 if you say 'nam' for 'jam,'--he won't let you go a letter wrong, _I_
6782 can tell you."
6783
6784 "Oh, I don't mind," said Philip, unable to choke a laugh; "I can
6785 remember things easily. And there are some lessons I'm very fond of.
6786 I'm very fond of Greek history, and everything about the Greeks. I
6787 should like to have been a Greek and fought the Persians, and then
6788 have come home and have written tragedies, or else have been listened
6789 to by everybody for my wisdom, like Socrates, and have died a grand
6790 death." (Philip, you perceive, was not without a wish to impress the
6791 well-made barbarian with a sense of his mental superiority.)
6792
6793 "Why, were the Greeks great fighters?" said Tom, who saw a vista in
6794 this direction. "Is there anything like David and Goliath and Samson
6795 in the Greek history? Those are the only bits I like in the history of
6796 the Jews."
6797
6798 "Oh, there are very fine stories of that sort about the Greeks,--about
6799 the heroes of early times who killed the wild beasts, as Samson did.
6800 And in the Odyssey--that's a beautiful poem--there's a more wonderful
6801 giant than Goliath,--Polypheme, who had only one eye in the middle of
6802 his forehead; and Ulysses, a little fellow, but very wise and cunning,
6803 got a red-hot pine-tree and stuck it into this one eye, and made him
6804 roar like a thousand bulls."
6805
6806 "Oh, what fun!" said Tom, jumping away from the table, and stamping
6807 first with one leg and then the other. "I say, can you tell me all
6808 about those stories? Because I sha'n't learn Greek, you know. Shall
6809 I?" he added, pausing in his stamping with a sudden alarm, lest the
6810 contrary might be possible. "Does every gentleman learn Greek? Will
6811 Mr. Stelling make me begin with it, do you think?"
6812
6813 "No, I should think not, very likely not," said Philip. "But you may
6814 read those stories without knowing Greek. I've got them in English."
6815
6816 "Oh, but I don't like reading; I'd sooner have you tell them me. But
6817 only the fighting ones, you know. My sister Maggie is always wanting
6818 to tell me stories, but they're stupid things. Girls' stories always
6819 are. Can you tell a good many fighting stories?"
6820
6821 "Oh yes," said Philip; "lots of them, besides the Greek stories. I can
6822 tell you about Richard Cœur-de-Lion and Saladin, and about William
6823 Wallace and Robert Bruce and James Douglas,--I know no end."
6824
6825 "You're older than I am, aren't you?" said Tom.
6826
6827 "Why, how old are _you?_ I'm fifteen."
6828
6829 "I'm only going in fourteen," said Tom. "But I thrashed all the
6830 fellows at Jacob's--that's where I was before I came here. And I beat
6831 'em all at bandy and climbing. And I wish Mr. Stelling would let us go
6832 fishing. _I_ could show you how to fish. You _could_ fish, couldn't
6833 you? It's only standing, and sitting still, you know."
6834
6835 Tom, in his turn, wished to make the balance dip in his favor. This
6836 hunchback must not suppose that his acquaintance with fighting stories
6837 put him on a par with an actual fighting hero, like Tom Tulliver.
6838 Philip winced under this allusion to his unfitness for active sports,
6839 and he answered almost peevishly,--
6840
6841 "I can't bear fishing. I think people look like fools sitting watching
6842 a line hour after hour, or else throwing and throwing, and catching
6843 nothing."
6844
6845 "Ah, but you wouldn't say they looked like fools when they landed a
6846 big pike, I can tell you," said Tom, who had never caught anything
6847 that was "big" in his life, but whose imagination was on the stretch
6848 with indignant zeal for the honor of sport. Wakem's son, it was plain,
6849 had his disagreeable points, and must be kept in due check. Happily
6850 for the harmony of this first interview, they were now called to
6851 dinner, and Philip was not allowed to develop farther his unsound
6852 views on the subject of fishing. But Tom said to himself, that was
6853 just what he should have expected from a hunchback.
6854
6855
6856
6857 Chapter IV
6858
6859 "The Young Idea"
6860
6861
6862 The alterations of feeling in that first dialogue between Tom and
6863 Philip continued to make their intercourse even after many weeks of
6864 schoolboy intimacy. Tom never quite lost the feeling that Philip,
6865 being the son of a "rascal," was his natural enemy; never thoroughly
6866 overcame his repulsion to Philip's deformity. He was a boy who adhered
6867 tenaciously to impressions once received; as with all minds in which
6868 mere perception predominates over thought and emotion, the external
6869 remained to him rigidly what it was in the first instance. But then it
6870 was impossible not to like Philip's company when he was in a good
6871 humor; he could help one so well in one's Latin exercises, which Tom
6872 regarded as a kind of puzzle that could only be found out by a lucky
6873 chance; and he could tell such wonderful fighting stories about Hal of
6874 the Wynd, for example, and other heroes who were especial favorites
6875 with Tom, because they laid about them with heavy strokes. He had
6876 small opinion of Saladin, whose cimeter could cut a cushion in two in
6877 an instant; who wanted to cut cushions? That was a stupid story, and
6878 he didn't care to hear it again. But when Robert Bruce, on the black
6879 pony, rose in his stirrups, and lifting his good battle-axe, cracked
6880 at once the helmet and the skull of the too hasty knight at
6881 Bannockburn, then Tom felt all the exaltation of sympathy, and if he
6882 had had a cocoanut at hand, he would have cracked it at once with the
6883 poker. Philip in his happier moods indulged Tom to the top of his
6884 bent, heightening the crash and bang and fury of every fight with all
6885 the artillery of epithets and similes at his command. But he was not
6886 always in a good humor or happy mood. The slight spurt of peevish
6887 susceptibility which had escaped him in their first interview was a
6888 symptom of a perpetually recurring mental ailment, half of it nervous
6889 irritability, half of it the heart-bitterness produced by the sense of
6890 his deformity. In these fits of susceptibility every glance seemed to
6891 him to be charged either with offensive pity or with ill-repressed
6892 disgust; at the very least it was an indifferent glance, and Philip
6893 felt indifference as a child of the south feels the chill air of a
6894 northern spring. Poor Tom's blundering patronage when they were out of
6895 doors together would sometimes make him turn upon the well-meaning lad
6896 quite savagely; and his eyes, usually sad and quiet, would flash with
6897 anything but playful lightning. No wonder Tom retained his suspicions
6898 of the humpback.
6899
6900 But Philip's self-taught skill in drawing was another link between
6901 them; for Tom found, to his disgust, that his new drawing-master gave
6902 him no dogs and donkeys to draw, but brooks and rustic bridges and
6903 ruins, all with a general softness of black-lead surface, indicating
6904 that nature, if anything, was rather satiny; and as Tom's feeling for
6905 the picturesque in landscape was at present quite latent, it is not
6906 surprising that Mr. Goodrich's productions seemed to him an
6907 uninteresting form of art. Mr. Tulliver, having a vague intention that
6908 Tom should be put to some business which included the drawing out of
6909 plans and maps, had complained to Mr. Riley, when he saw him at
6910 Mudport, that Tom seemed to be learning nothing of that sort;
6911 whereupon that obliging adviser had suggested that Tom should have
6912 drawing-lessons. Mr. Tulliver must not mind paying extra for drawing;
6913 let Tom be made a good draughtsman, and he would be able to turn his
6914 pencil to any purpose. So it was ordered that Tom should have
6915 drawing-lessons; and whom should Mr. Stelling have selected as a
6916 master if not Mr. Goodrich, who was considered quite at the head of
6917 his profession within a circuit of twelve miles round King's Lorton?
6918 By which means Tom learned to make an extremely fine point to his
6919 pencil, and to represent landscape with a "broad generality," which,
6920 doubtless from a narrow tendency in his mind to details, he thought
6921 extremely dull.
6922
6923 All this, you remember, happened in those dark ages when there were no
6924 schools of design; before schoolmasters were invariably men of
6925 scrupulous integrity, and before the clergy were all men of enlarged
6926 minds and varied culture. In those less favored days, it is no fable
6927 that there were other clergymen besides Mr. Stelling who had narrow
6928 intellects and large wants, and whose income, by a logical confusion
6929 to which Fortune, being a female as well as blindfold, is peculiarly
6930 liable, was proportioned not to their wants but to their intellect,
6931 with which income has clearly no inherent relation. The problem these
6932 gentlemen had to solve was to readjust the proportion between their
6933 wants and their income; and since wants are not easily starved to
6934 death, the simpler method appeared to be to raise their income. There
6935 was but one way of doing this; any of those low callings in which men
6936 are obliged to do good work at a low price were forbidden to
6937 clergymen; was it their fault if their only resource was to turn out
6938 very poor work at a high price? Besides, how should Mr. Stelling be
6939 expected to know that education was a delicate and difficult business,
6940 any more than an animal endowed with a power of boring a hole through
6941 a rock should be expected to have wide views of excavation? Mr.
6942 Stelling's faculties had been early trained to boring in a straight
6943 line, and he had no faculty to spare. But among Tom's contemporaries,
6944 whose fathers cast their sons on clerical instruction to find them
6945 ignorant after many days, there were many far less lucky than Tom
6946 Tulliver. Education was almost entirely a matter of luck--usually of
6947 ill-luck--in those distant days. The state of mind in which you take a
6948 billiard-cue or a dice-box in your hand is one of sober certainty
6949 compared with that of old-fashioned fathers, like Mr. Tulliver, when
6950 they selected a school or a tutor for their sons. Excellent men, who
6951 had been forced all their lives to spell on an impromptu-phonetic
6952 system, and having carried on a successful business in spite of this
6953 disadvantage, had acquired money enough to give their sons a better
6954 start in life than they had had themselves, must necessarily take
6955 their chance as to the conscience and the competence of the
6956 schoolmaster whose circular fell in their way, and appeared to promise
6957 so much more than they would ever have thought of asking for,
6958 including the return of linen, fork, and spoon. It was happy for them
6959 if some ambitious draper of their acquaintance had not brought up his
6960 son to the Church, and if that young gentleman, at the age of
6961 four-and-twenty, had not closed his college dissipations by an
6962 imprudent marriage; otherwise, these innocent fathers, desirous of
6963 doing the best for their offspring, could only escape the draper's son
6964 by happening to be on the foundation of a grammar-school as yet
6965 unvisited by commissioners, where two or three boys could have, all to
6966 themselves, the advantages of a large and lofty building, together
6967 with a head-master, toothless, dim-eyed and deaf, whose erudite
6968 indistinctness and inattention were engrossed by them at the rate of
6969 three hundred pounds a-head,--a ripe scholar, doubtless, when first
6970 appointed; but all ripeness beneath the sun has a further stage less
6971 esteemed in the market.
6972
6973 Tom Tulliver, then, compared with many other British youths of his
6974 time who have since had to scramble through life with some fragments
6975 of more or less relevant knowledge, and a great deal of strictly
6976 relevant ignorance, was not so very unlucky. Mr. Stelling was a
6977 broad-chested, healthy man, with the bearing of a gentleman, a
6978 conviction that a growing boy required a sufficiency of beef, and a
6979 certain hearty kindness in him that made him like to see Tom looking
6980 well and enjoying his dinner; not a man of refined conscience, or with
6981 any deep sense of the infinite issues belonging to every-day duties,
6982 not quite competent to his high offices; but incompetent gentlemen
6983 must live, and without private fortune it is difficult to see how they
6984 could all live genteelly if they had nothing to do with education or
6985 government. Besides, it was the fault of Tom's mental constitution
6986 that his faculties could not be nourished on the sort of knowledge Mr.
6987 Stelling had to communicate. A boy born with a deficient power of
6988 apprehending signs and abstractions must suffer the penalty of his
6989 congenital deficiency, just as if he had been born with one leg
6990 shorter than the other. A method of education sanctioned by the long
6991 practice of our venerable ancestors was not to give way before the
6992 exceptional dulness of a boy who was merely living at the time then
6993 present. And Mr. Stelling was convinced that a boy so stupid at signs
6994 and abstractions must be stupid at everything else, even if that
6995 reverend gentleman could have taught him everything else. It was the
6996 practice of our venerable ancestors to apply that ingenious instrument
6997 the thumb-screw, and to tighten and tighten it in order to elicit
6998 non-existent facts; they had a fixed opinion to begin with, that the
6999 facts were existent, and what had they to do but to tighten the
7000 thumb-screw? In like manner, Mr. Stelling had a fixed opinion that all
7001 boys with any capacity could learn what it was the only regular thing
7002 to teach; if they were slow, the thumb-screw must be tightened,--the
7003 exercises must be insisted on with increased severity, and a page of
7004 Virgil be awarded as a penalty, to encourage and stimulate a too
7005 languid inclination to Latin verse.
7006
7007 The thumb-screw was a little relaxed, however, during this second
7008 half-year. Philip was so advanced in his studies, and so apt, that Mr.
7009 Stelling could obtain credit by his facility, which required little
7010 help, much more easily than by the troublesome process of overcoming
7011 Tom's dulness. Gentlemen with broad chests and ambitious intentions do
7012 sometimes disappoint their friends by failing to carry the world
7013 before them. Perhaps it is that high achievements demand some other
7014 unusual qualification besides an unusual desire for high prizes;
7015 perhaps it is that these stalwart gentlemen are rather indolent, their
7016 _divinæ particulum auræ_ being obstructed from soaring by a too hearty
7017 appetite. Some reason or other there was why Mr. Stelling deferred the
7018 execution of many spirited projects,--why he did not begin the editing
7019 of his Greek play, or any other work of scholarship, in his leisure
7020 hours, but, after turning the key of his private study with much
7021 resolution, sat down to one of Theodore Hook's novels. Tom was
7022 gradually allowed to shuffle through his lessons with less rigor, and
7023 having Philip to help him, he was able to make some show of having
7024 applied his mind in a confused and blundering way, without being
7025 cross-examined into a betrayal that his mind had been entirely neutral
7026 in the matter. He thought school much more bearable under this
7027 modification of circumstances; and he went on contentedly enough,
7028 picking up a promiscuous education chiefly from things that were not
7029 intended as education at all. What was understood to be his education
7030 was simply the practice of reading, writing, and spelling, carried on
7031 by an elaborate appliance of unintelligible ideas, and by much failure
7032 in the effort to learn by rote.
7033
7034 Nevertheless, there was a visible improvement in Tom under this
7035 training; perhaps because he was not a boy in the abstract, existing
7036 solely to illustrate the evils of a mistaken education, but a boy made
7037 of flesh and blood, with dispositions not entirely at the mercy of
7038 circumstances.
7039
7040 There was a great improvement in his bearing, for example; and some
7041 credit on this score was due to Mr. Poulter, the village schoolmaster,
7042 who, being an old Peninsular soldier, was employed to drill Tom,--a
7043 source of high mutual pleasure. Mr. Poulter, who was understood by the
7044 company at the Black Swan to have once struck terror into the hearts
7045 of the French, was no longer personally formidable. He had rather a
7046 shrunken appearance, and was tremulous in the mornings, not from age,
7047 but from the extreme perversity of the King's Lorton boys, which
7048 nothing but gin could enable him to sustain with any firmness. Still,
7049 he carried himself with martial erectness, had his clothes
7050 scrupulously brushed, and his trousers tightly strapped; and on the
7051 Wednesday and Saturday afternoons, when he came to Tom, he was always
7052 inspired with gin and old memories, which gave him an exceptionally
7053 spirited air, as of a superannuated charger who hears the drum. The
7054 drilling-lessons were always protracted by episodes of warlike
7055 narrative, much more interesting to Tom than Philip's stories out of
7056 the Iliad; for there were no cannon in the Iliad, and besides, Tom had
7057 felt some disgust on learning that Hector and Achilles might possibly
7058 never have existed. But the Duke of Wellington was really alive, and
7059 Bony had not been long dead; therefore Mr. Poulter's reminiscences of
7060 the Peninsular War were removed from all suspicion of being mythical.
7061 Mr. Poulter, it appeared, had been a conspicuous figure at Talavera,
7062 and had contributed not a little to the peculiar terror with which his
7063 regiment of infantry was regarded by the enemy. On afternoons when his
7064 memory was more stimulated than usual, he remembered that the Duke of
7065 Wellington had (in strict privacy, lest jealousies should be awakened)
7066 expressed his esteem for that fine fellow Poulter. The very surgeon
7067 who attended him in the hospital after he had received his
7068 gunshot-wound had been profoundly impressed with the superiority of
7069 Mr. Poulter's flesh,--no other flesh would have healed in anything
7070 like the same time. On less personal matters connected with the
7071 important warfare in which he had been engaged, Mr. Poulter was more
7072 reticent, only taking care not to give the weight of his authority to
7073 any loose notions concerning military history. Any one who pretended
7074 to a knowledge of what occurred at the siege of Badajos was especially
7075 an object of silent pity to Mr. Poulter; he wished that prating person
7076 had been run down, and had the breath trampled out of him at the first
7077 go-off, as he himself had,--he might talk about the siege of Badajos
7078 then! Tom did not escape irritating his drilling-master occasionally,
7079 by his curiosity concerning other military matters than Mr. Poulter's
7080 personal experience.
7081
7082 "And General Wolfe, Mr. Poulter,--wasn't he a wonderful fighter?" said
7083 Tom, who held the notion that all the martial heroes commemorated on
7084 the public-house signs were engaged in the war with Bony.
7085
7086 "Not at all!" said Mr. Poulter, contemptuously. "Nothing o' the sort!
7087 Heads up!" he added, in a tone of stern command, which delighted Tom,
7088 and made him feel as if he were a regiment in his own person.
7089
7090 "No, no!" Mr. Poulter would continue, on coming to a pause in his
7091 discipline; "they'd better not talk to me about General Wolfe. He did
7092 nothing but die of his wound; that's a poor haction, I consider. Any
7093 other man 'ud have died o' the wounds I've had. One of my sword-cuts
7094 'ud ha' killed a fellow like General Wolfe."
7095
7096 "Mr. Poulter," Tom would say, at any allusion to the sword, "I wish
7097 you'd bring your sword and do the sword-exercise!"
7098
7099 For a long while Mr. Poulter only shook his head in a significant
7100 manner at this request, and smiled patronizingly, as Jupiter may have
7101 done when Semele urged her too ambitious request. But one afternoon,
7102 when a sudden shower of heavy rain had detained Mr. Poulter twenty
7103 minutes longer than usual at the Black Swan, the sword was
7104 brought,--just for Tom to look at.
7105
7106 "And this is the real sword you fought with in all the battles, Mr.
7107 Poulter?" said Tom, handling the hilt. "Has it ever cut a Frenchman's
7108 head off?"
7109
7110 "Head off? Ah! and would, if he'd had three heads."
7111
7112 "But you had a gun and bayonet besides?" said Tom. "_I_ should like
7113 the gun and bayonet best, because you could shoot 'em first and spear
7114 'em after. Bang! Ps-s-s-s!" Tom gave the requisite pantomime to
7115 indicate the double enjoyment of pulling the trigger and thrusting the
7116 spear.
7117
7118 "Ah, but the sword's the thing when you come to close fighting," said
7119 Mr. Poulter, involuntarily falling in with Tom's enthusiasm, and
7120 drawing the sword so suddenly that Tom leaped back with much agility.
7121
7122 "Oh, but, Mr. Poulter, if you're going to do the exercise," said Tom,
7123 a little conscious that he had not stood his ground as became an
7124 Englishman, "let me go and call Philip. He'll like to see you, you
7125 know."
7126
7127 "What! the humpbacked lad?" said Mr. Poulter, contemptuously; "what's
7128 the use of _his_ looking on?"
7129
7130 "Oh, but he knows a great deal about fighting," said Tom, "and how
7131 they used to fight with bows and arrows, and battle-axes."
7132
7133 "Let him come, then. I'll show him something different from his bows
7134 and arrows," said Mr. Poulter, coughing and drawing himself up, while
7135 he gave a little preliminary play to his wrist.
7136
7137 Tom ran in to Philip, who was enjoying his afternoon's holiday at the
7138 piano, in the drawing-room, picking out tunes for himself and singing
7139 them. He was supremely happy, perched like an amorphous bundle on the
7140 high stool, with his head thrown back, his eyes fixed on the opposite
7141 cornice, and his lips wide open, sending forth, with all his might,
7142 impromptu syllables to a tune of Arne's which had hit his fancy.
7143
7144 "Come, Philip," said Tom, bursting in; "don't stay roaring 'la la'
7145 there; come and see old Poulter do his sword-exercise in the
7146 carriage-house!"
7147
7148 The jar of this interruption, the discord of Tom's tones coming across
7149 the notes to which Philip was vibrating in soul and body, would have
7150 been enough to unhinge his temper, even if there had been no question
7151 of Poulter the drilling-master; and Tom, in the hurry of seizing
7152 something to say to prevent Mr. Poulter from thinking he was afraid of
7153 the sword when he sprang away from it, had alighted on this
7154 proposition to fetch Philip, though he knew well enough that Philip
7155 hated to hear him mention his drilling-lessons. Tom would never have
7156 done so inconsiderate a thing except under the severe stress of his
7157 personal pride.
7158
7159 Philip shuddered visibly as he paused from his music. Then turning
7160 red, he said, with violent passion,--
7161
7162 "Get away, you lumbering idiot! Don't come bellowing at me; you're not
7163 fit to speak to anything but a cart-horse!"
7164
7165 It was not the first time Philip had been made angry by him, but Tom
7166 had never before been assailed with verbal missiles that he understood
7167 so well.
7168
7169 "I'm fit to speak to something better than you, you poor-spirited
7170 imp!" said Tom, lighting up immediately at Philip's fire. "You know I
7171 won't hit you, because you're no better than a girl. But I'm an honest
7172 man's son, and _your_ father's a rogue; everybody says so!"
7173
7174 Tom flung out of the room, and slammed the door after him, made
7175 strangely heedless by his anger; for to slam doors within the hearing
7176 of Mrs. Stelling, who was probably not far off, was an offence only to
7177 be wiped out by twenty lines of Virgil. In fact, that lady did
7178 presently descend from her room, in double wonder at the noise and the
7179 subsequent cessation of Philip's music. She found him sitting in a
7180 heap on the hassock, and crying bitterly.
7181
7182 "What's the matter, Wakem? what was that noise about? Who slammed the
7183 door?"
7184
7185 Philip looked up, and hastily dried his eyes. "It was Tulliver who
7186 came in--to ask me to go out with him."
7187
7188 "And what are you in trouble about?" said Mrs. Stelling.
7189
7190 Philip was not her favorite of the two pupils; he was less obliging
7191 than Tom, who was made useful in many ways. Still, his father paid
7192 more than Mr. Tulliver did, and she meant him to feel that she behaved
7193 exceedingly well to him. Philip, however, met her advances toward a
7194 good understanding very much as a caressed mollusk meets an invitation
7195 to show himself out of his shell. Mrs. Stelling was not a loving,
7196 tender-hearted woman; she was a woman whose skirt sat well, who
7197 adjusted her waist and patted her curls with a preoccupied air when
7198 she inquired after your welfare. These things, doubtless, represent a
7199 great social power, but it is not the power of love; and no other
7200 power could win Philip from his personal reserve.
7201
7202 He said, in answer to her question, "My toothache came on, and made me
7203 hysterical again."
7204
7205 This had been the fact once, and Philip was glad of the recollection;
7206 it was like an inspiration to enable him to excuse his crying. He had
7207 to accept eau-de-Cologne and to refuse creosote in consequence; but
7208 that was easy.
7209
7210 Meanwhile Tom, who had for the first time sent a poisoned arrow into
7211 Philip's heart, had returned to the carriage-house, where he found Mr.
7212 Poulter, with a fixed and earnest eye, wasting the perfections of his
7213 sword-exercise on probably observant but inappreciative rats. But Mr.
7214 Poulter was a host in himself; that is to say, he admired himself more
7215 than a whole army of spectators could have admired him. He took no
7216 notice of Tom's return, being too entirely absorbed in the cut and
7217 thrust,--the solemn one, two, three, four; and Tom, not without a
7218 slight feeling of alarm at Mr. Poulter's fixed eye and hungry-looking
7219 sword, which seemed impatient for something else to cut besides the
7220 air, admired the performance from as great a distance as possible. It
7221 was not until Mr. Poulter paused and wiped the perspiration from his
7222 forehead, that Tom felt the full charm of the sword-exercise, and
7223 wished it to be repeated.
7224
7225 "Mr. Poulter," said Tom, when the sword was being finally sheathed, "I
7226 wish you'd lend me your sword a little while to keep."
7227
7228 "No no, young gentleman," said Mr. Poulter, shaking his head
7229 decidedly; "you might do yourself some mischief with it."
7230
7231 "No, I'm sure I wouldn't; I'm sure I'd take care and not hurt myself.
7232 I shouldn't take it out of the sheath much, but I could ground arms
7233 with it, and all that."
7234
7235 "No, no, it won't do, I tell you; it won't do," said Mr. Poulter,
7236 preparing to depart. "What 'ud Mr. Stelling say to me?"
7237
7238 "Oh, I say, do, Mr. Poulter! I'd give you my five-shilling piece if
7239 you'd let me keep the sword a week. Look here!" said Tom, reaching out
7240 the attractively large round of silver. The young dog calculated the
7241 effect as well as if he had been a philosopher.
7242
7243 "Well," said Mr. Poulter, with still deeper gravity, "you must keep it
7244 out of sight, you know."
7245
7246 "Oh yes, I'll keep it under the bed," said Tom, eagerly, "or else at
7247 the bottom of my large box."
7248
7249 "And let me see, now, whether you can draw it out of the sheath
7250 without hurting yourself." That process having been gone through more
7251 than once, Mr. Poulter felt that he had acted with scrupulous
7252 conscientiousness, and said, "Well, now, Master Tulliver, if I take
7253 the crown-piece, it is to make sure as you'll do no mischief with the
7254 sword."
7255
7256 "Oh no, indeed, Mr. Poulter," said Tom, delightedly handing him the
7257 crown-piece, and grasping the sword, which, he thought, might have
7258 been lighter with advantage.
7259
7260 "But if Mr. Stelling catches you carrying it in?" said Mr. Poulter,
7261 pocketing the crown-piece provisionally while he raised this new
7262 doubt.
7263
7264 "Oh, he always keeps in his upstairs study on Saturday afternoon,"
7265 said Tom, who disliked anything sneaking, but was not disinclined to a
7266 little stratagem in a worthy cause. So he carried off the sword in
7267 triumph mixed with dread--dread that he might encounter Mr. or Mrs.
7268 Stelling--to his bedroom, where, after some consideration, he hid it
7269 in the closet behind some hanging clothes. That night he fell asleep
7270 in the thought that he would astonish Maggie with it when she
7271 came,--tie it round his waist with his red comforter, and make her
7272 believe that the sword was his own, and that he was going to be a
7273 soldier. There was nobody but Maggie who would be silly enough to
7274 believe him, or whom he dared allow to know he had a sword; and Maggie
7275 was really coming next week to see Tom, before she went to a
7276 boarding-school with Lucy.
7277
7278 If you think a lad of thirteen would have been so childish, you must
7279 be an exceptionally wise man, who, although you are devoted to a civil
7280 calling, requiring you to look bland rather than formidable, yet
7281 never, since you had a beard, threw yourself into a martial attitude,
7282 and frowned before the looking-glass. It is doubtful whether our
7283 soldiers would be maintained if there were not pacific people at home
7284 who like to fancy themselves soldiers. War, like other dramatic
7285 spectacles, might possibly cease for want of a "public."
7286
7287
7288
7289 Chapter V
7290
7291 Maggie's Second Visit
7292
7293
7294 This last breach between the two lads was not readily mended, and for
7295 some time they spoke to each other no more than was necessary. Their
7296 natural antipathy of temperament made resentment an easy passage to
7297 hatred, and in Philip the transition seemed to have begun; there was
7298 no malignity in his disposition, but there was a susceptibility that
7299 made him peculiarly liable to a strong sense of repulsion. The ox--we
7300 may venture to assert it on the authority of a great classic--is not
7301 given to use his teeth as an instrument of attack, and Tom was an
7302 excellent bovine lad, who ran at questionable objects in a truly
7303 ingenious bovine manner; but he had blundered on Philip's tenderest
7304 point, and had caused him as much acute pain as if he had studied the
7305 means with the nicest precision and the most envenomed spite. Tom saw
7306 no reason why they should not make up this quarrel as they had done
7307 many others, by behaving as if nothing had happened; for though he had
7308 never before said to Philip that his father was a rogue, this idea had
7309 so habitually made part of his feeling as to the relation between
7310 himself and his dubious schoolfellow, who he could neither like nor
7311 dislike, that the mere utterance did not make such an epoch to him as
7312 it did to Philip. And he had a right to say so when Philip hectored
7313 over _him_, and called him names. But perceiving that his first
7314 advances toward amity were not met, he relapsed into his least
7315 favorable disposition toward Philip, and resolved never to appeal to
7316 him either about drawing or exercise again. They were only so far
7317 civil to each other as was necessary to prevent their state of feud
7318 from being observed by Mr. Stelling, who would have "put down" such
7319 nonsense with great vigor.
7320
7321 When Maggie came, however, she could not help looking with growing
7322 interest at the new schoolfellow, although he was the son of that
7323 wicked Lawyer Wakem, who made her father so angry. She had arrived in
7324 the middle of school-hours, and had sat by while Philip went through
7325 his lessons with Mr. Stelling. Tom, some weeks ago, had sent her word
7326 that Philip knew no end of stories,--not stupid stories like hers; and
7327 she was convinced now from her own observation that he must be very
7328 clever; she hoped he would think _her_ rather clever too, when she
7329 came to talk to him. Maggie, moreover, had rather a tenderness for
7330 deformed things; she preferred the wry-necked lambs, because it seemed
7331 to her that the lambs which were quite strong and well made wouldn't
7332 mind so much about being petted; and she was especially fond of
7333 petting objects that would think it very delightful to be petted by
7334 her. She loved Tom very dearly, but she often wished that he _cared_
7335 more about her loving him.
7336
7337 "I think Philip Wakem seems a nice boy, Tom," she said, when they went
7338 out of the study together into the garden, to pass the interval before
7339 dinner. "He couldn't choose his father, you know; and I've read of
7340 very bad men who had good sons, as well as good parents who had bad
7341 children. And if Philip is good, I think we ought to be the more sorry
7342 for him because his father is not a good man. _You_ like him, don't
7343 you?"
7344
7345 "Oh, he's a queer fellow," said Tom, curtly, "and he's as sulky as can
7346 be with me, because I told him his father was a rogue. And I'd a right
7347 to tell him so, for it was true; and _he_ began it, with calling me
7348 names. But you stop here by yourself a bit, Maggie, will you? I've got
7349 something I want to do upstairs."
7350
7351 "Can't I go too?" said Maggie, who in this first day of meeting again
7352 loved Tom's shadow.
7353
7354 "No, it's something I'll tell you about by-and-by, not yet," said Tom,
7355 skipping away.
7356
7357 In the afternoon the boys were at their books in the study, preparing
7358 the morrow's lesson's that they might have a holiday in the evening in
7359 honor of Maggie's arrival. Tom was hanging over his Latin grammar,
7360 moving his lips inaudibly like a strict but impatient Catholic
7361 repeating his tale of paternosters; and Philip, at the other end of
7362 the room, was busy with two volumes, with a look of contented
7363 diligence that excited Maggie's curiosity; he did not look at all as
7364 if he were learning a lesson. She sat on a low stool at nearly a right
7365 angle with the two boys, watching first one and then the other; and
7366 Philip, looking off his book once toward the fire-place, caught the
7367 pair of questioning dark eyes fixed upon him. He thought this sister
7368 of Tulliver's seemed a nice little thing, quite unlike her brother; he
7369 wished _he_ had a little sister. What was it, he wondered, that made
7370 Maggie's dark eyes remind him of the stories about princesses being
7371 turned into animals? I think it was that her eyes were full of
7372 unsatisfied intelligence, and unsatisfied beseeching affection.
7373
7374 "I say, Magsie," said Tom at last, shutting his books and putting them
7375 away with the energy and decision of a perfect master in the art of
7376 leaving off, "I've done my lessons now. Come upstairs with me."
7377
7378 "What is it?" said Maggie, when they were outside the door, a slight
7379 suspicion crossing her mind as she remembered Tom's preliminary visit
7380 upstairs. "It isn't a trick you're going to play me, now?"
7381
7382 "No, no, Maggie," said Tom, in his most coaxing tone; "It's something
7383 you'll like _ever so_."
7384
7385 He put his arm round her neck, and she put hers round his waist, and
7386 twined together in this way, they went upstairs.
7387
7388 "I say, Magsie, you must not tell anybody, you know," said Tom, "else
7389 I shall get fifty lines."
7390
7391 "Is it alive?" said Maggie, whose imagination had settled for the
7392 moment on the idea that Tom kept a ferret clandestinely.
7393
7394 "Oh, I sha'n't tell you," said he. "Now you go into that corner and
7395 hide your face, while I reach it out," he added, as he locked the
7396 bedroom door behind them. "I'll tell you when to turn round. You
7397 mustn't squeal out, you know."
7398
7399 "Oh, but if you frighten me, I shall," said Maggie, beginning to look
7400 rather serious.
7401
7402 "You won't be frightened, you silly thing," said Tom. "Go and hide
7403 your face, and mind you don't peep."
7404
7405 "Of course I sha'n't peep," said Maggie, disdainfully; and she buried
7406 her face in the pillow like a person of strict honor.
7407
7408 But Tom looked round warily as he walked to the closet; then he
7409 stepped into the narrow space, and almost closed the door. Maggie kept
7410 her face buried without the aid of principle, for in that
7411 dream-suggestive attitude she had soon forgotten where she was, and
7412 her thoughts were busy with the poor deformed boy, who was so clever,
7413 when Tom called out, "Now then, Magsie!"
7414
7415 Nothing but long meditation and preconcerted arrangement of effects
7416 would have enabled Tom to present so striking a figure as he did to
7417 Maggie when she looked up. Dissatisfied with the pacific aspect of a
7418 face which had no more than the faintest hint of flaxen eyebrow,
7419 together with a pair of amiable blue-gray eyes and round pink cheeks
7420 that refused to look formidable, let him frown as he would before the
7421 looking-glass (Philip had once told him of a man who had a horseshoe
7422 frown, and Tom had tried with all his frowning might to make a
7423 horseshoe on his forehead), he had had recourse to that unfailing
7424 source of the terrible, burnt cork, and had made himself a pair of
7425 black eyebrows that met in a satisfactory manner over his nose, and
7426 were matched by a less carefully adjusted blackness about the chin. He
7427 had wound a red handkerchief round his cloth cap to give it the air of
7428 a turban, and his red comforter across his breast as a scarf,--an
7429 amount of red which, with the tremendous frown on his brow, and the
7430 decision with which he grasped the sword, as he held it with its point
7431 resting on the ground, would suffice to convey an approximate idea of
7432 his fierce and bloodthirsty disposition.
7433
7434 Maggie looked bewildered for a moment, and Tom enjoyed that moment
7435 keenly; but in the next she laughed, clapped her hands together, and
7436 said, "Oh, Tom, you've made yourself like Bluebeard at the show."
7437
7438 It was clear she had not been struck with the presence of the
7439 sword,--it was not unsheathed. Her frivolous mind required a more
7440 direct appeal to its sense of the terrible, and Tom prepared for his
7441 master-stroke. Frowning with a double amount of intention, if not of
7442 corrugation, he (carefully) drew the sword from its sheath, and
7443 pointed it at Maggie.
7444
7445 "Oh, Tom, please don't!" exclaimed Maggie, in a tone of suppressed
7446 dread, shrinking away from him into the opposite corner. "I _shall_
7447 scream--I'm sure I shall! Oh, don't I wish I'd never come upstairs!"
7448
7449 The corners of Tom's mouth showed an inclination to a smile of
7450 complacency that was immediately checked as inconsistent with the
7451 severity of a great warrior. Slowly he let down the scabbard on the
7452 floor, lest it should make too much noise, and then said sternly,--
7453
7454 "I'm the Duke of Wellington! March!" stamping forward with the right
7455 leg a little bent, and the sword still pointing toward Maggie, who,
7456 trembling, and with tear-filled eyes, got upon the bed, as the only
7457 means of widening the space between them.
7458
7459 Tom, happy in this spectator of his military performances, even though
7460 the spectator was only Maggie, proceeded, with the utmost exertion of
7461 his force, to such an exhibition of the cut and thrust as would
7462 necessarily be expected of the Duke of Wellington.
7463
7464 "Tom, I _will not_ bear it, I _will_ scream," said Maggie, at the
7465 first movement of the sword. "You'll hurt yourself; you'll cut your
7466 head off!"
7467
7468 "One--two," said Tom, resolutely, though at "two" his wrist trembled a
7469 little. "Three" came more slowly, and with it the sword swung
7470 downward, and Maggie gave a loud shriek. The sword had fallen, with
7471 its edge on Tom's foot, and in a moment after he had fallen too.
7472 Maggie leaped from the bed, still shrieking, and immediately there was
7473 a rush of footsteps toward the room. Mr. Stelling, from his upstairs
7474 study, was the first to enter. He found both the children on the
7475 floor. Tom had fainted, and Maggie was shaking him by the collar of
7476 his jacket, screaming, with wild eyes. She thought he was dead, poor
7477 child! and yet she shook him, as if that would bring him back to life.
7478 In another minute she was sobbing with joy because Tom opened his
7479 eyes. She couldn't sorrow yet that he had hurt his foot; it seemed as
7480 if all happiness lay in his being alive.
7481
7482
7483
7484 Chapter VI
7485
7486 A Love-Scene
7487
7488
7489 Poor Tom bore his severe pain heroically, and was resolute in not
7490 "telling" of Mr. Poulter more than was unavoidable; the five-shilling
7491 piece remained a secret even to Maggie. But there was a terrible dread
7492 weighing on his mind, so terrible that he dared not even ask the
7493 question which might bring the fatal "yes"; he dared not ask the
7494 surgeon or Mr. Stelling, "Shall I be lame, Sir?" He mastered himself
7495 so as not to cry out at the pain; but when his foot had been dressed,
7496 and he was left alone with Maggie seated by his bedside, the children
7497 sobbed together, with their heads laid on the same pillow. Tom was
7498 thinking of himself walking about on crutches, like the wheelwright's
7499 son; and Maggie, who did not guess what was in his mind, sobbed for
7500 company. It had not occurred to the surgeon or to Mr. Stelling to
7501 anticipate this dread in Tom's mind, and to reassure him by hopeful
7502 words. But Philip watched the surgeon out of the house, and waylaid
7503 Mr. Stelling to ask the very question that Tom had not dared to ask
7504 for himself.
7505
7506 "I beg your pardon, sir,--but does Mr. Askern say Tulliver will be
7507 lame?"
7508
7509 "Oh, no; oh, no," said Mr. Stelling, "not permanently; only for a
7510 little while."
7511
7512 "Did he tell Tulliver so, sir, do you think?"
7513
7514 "No; nothing was said to him on the subject."
7515
7516 "Then may I go and tell him, sir?"
7517
7518 "Yes, to be sure; now you mention it, I dare say he may be troubling
7519 about that. Go to his bedroom, but be very quiet at present."
7520
7521 It had been Philip's first thought when he heard of the
7522 accident,--"Will Tulliver be lame? It will be very hard for him if he
7523 is"; and Tom's hitherto unforgiven offences were washed out by that
7524 pity. Philip felt that they were no longer in a state of repulsion,
7525 but were being drawn into a common current of suffering and sad
7526 privation. His imagination did not dwell on the outward calamity and
7527 its future effect on Tom's life, but it made vividly present to him
7528 the probable state of Tom's feeling. Philip had only lived fourteen
7529 years, but those years had, most of them, been steeped in the sense of
7530 a lot irremediably hard.
7531
7532 "Mr. Askern says you'll soon be all right again, Tulliver, did you
7533 know?" he said rather timidly, as he stepped gently up to Tom's bed.
7534 "I've just been to ask Mr. Stelling, and he says you'll walk as well
7535 as ever again by-and-day."
7536
7537 Tom looked up with that momentary stopping of the breath which comes
7538 with a sudden joy; then he gave a long sigh, and turned his blue-gray
7539 eyes straight on Philip's face, as he had not done for a fortnight or
7540 more. As for Maggie, this intimation of a possibility she had not
7541 thought of before affected her as a new trouble; the bare idea of
7542 Tom's being always lame overpowered the assurance that such a
7543 misfortune was not likely to befall him, and she clung to him and
7544 cried afresh.
7545
7546 "Don't be a little silly, Magsie," said Tom, tenderly, feeling very
7547 brave now. "I shall soon get well."
7548
7549 "Good-by, Tulliver," said Philip, putting out his small, delicate
7550 hand, which Tom clasped immediately with his more substantial fingers.
7551
7552 "I say," said Tom, "ask Mr. Stelling to let you come and sit with me
7553 sometimes, till I get up again, Wakem; and tell me about Robert Bruce,
7554 you know."
7555
7556 After that, Philip spent all his time out of school-hours with Tom and
7557 Maggie. Tom liked to hear fighting stories as much as ever, but he
7558 insisted strongly on the fact that those great fighters who did so
7559 many wonderful things and came off unhurt, wore excellent armor from
7560 head to foot, which made fighting easy work, he considered. He should
7561 not have hurt his foot if he had had an iron shoe on. He listened with
7562 great interest to a new story of Philip's about a man who had a very
7563 bad wound in his foot, and cried out so dreadfully with the pain that
7564 his friends could bear with him no longer, but put him ashore on a
7565 desert island, with nothing but some wonderful poisoned arrows to kill
7566 animals with for food.
7567
7568 "I didn't roar out a bit, you know," Tom said, "and I dare say my foot
7569 was as bad as his. It's cowardly to roar."
7570
7571 But Maggie would have it that when anything hurt you very much, it was
7572 quite permissible to cry out, and it was cruel of people not to bear
7573 it. She wanted to know if Philoctetes had a sister, and why _she_
7574 didn't go with him on the desert island and take care of him.
7575
7576 One day, soon after Philip had told this story, he and Maggie were in
7577 the study alone together while Tom's foot was being dressed. Philip
7578 was at his books, and Maggie, after sauntering idly round the room,
7579 not caring to do anything in particular, because she would soon go to
7580 Tom again, went and leaned on the table near Philip to see what he was
7581 doing, for they were quite old friends now, and perfectly at home with
7582 each other.
7583
7584 "What are you reading about in Greek?" she said. "It's poetry, I can
7585 see that, because the lines are so short."
7586
7587 "It's about Philoctetes, the lame man I was telling you of yesterday,"
7588 he answered, resting his head on his hand, and looking at her as if he
7589 were not at all sorry to be interrupted. Maggie, in her absent way,
7590 continued to lean forward, resting on her arms and moving her feet
7591 about, while her dark eyes got more and more fixed and vacant, as if
7592 she had quite forgotten Philip and his book.
7593
7594 "Maggie," said Philip, after a minute or two, still leaning on his
7595 elbow and looking at her, "if you had had a brother like me, do you
7596 think you should have loved him as well as Tom?"
7597
7598 Maggie started a little on being roused from her reverie, and said,
7599 "What?" Philip repeated his question.
7600
7601 "Oh, yes, better," she answered immediately. "No, not better; because
7602 I don't think I _could_ love you better than Tom. But I should be so
7603 sorry,--_so sorry_ for you."
7604
7605 Philip colored; he had meant to imply, would she love him as well in
7606 spite of his deformity, and yet when she alluded to it so plainly, he
7607 winced under her pity. Maggie, young as she was, felt her mistake.
7608 Hitherto she had instinctively behaved as if she were quite
7609 unconscious of Philip's deformity; her own keen sensitiveness and
7610 experience under family criticism sufficed to teach her this as well
7611 as if she had been directed by the most finished breeding.
7612
7613 "But you are so very clever, Philip, and you can play and sing," she
7614 added quickly. "I wish you _were_ my brother. I'm very fond of you.
7615 And you would stay at home with me when Tom went out, and you would
7616 teach me everything; wouldn't you,--Greek and everything?"
7617
7618 "But you'll go away soon, and go to school, Maggie," said Philip, "and
7619 then you'll forget all about me, and not care for me any more. And
7620 then I shall see you when you're grown up, and you'll hardly take any
7621 notice of me."
7622
7623 "Oh, no, I sha'n't forget you, I'm sure," said Maggie, shaking her
7624 head very seriously. "I never forget anything, and I think about
7625 everybody when I'm away from them. I think about poor Yap; he's got a
7626 lump in his throat, and Luke says he'll die. Only don't you tell Tom.
7627 because it will vex him so. You never saw Yap; he's a queer little
7628 dog,--nobody cares about him but Tom and me."
7629
7630 "Do you care as much about me as you do about Yap, Maggie?" said
7631 Philip, smiling rather sadly.
7632
7633 "Oh, yes, I should think so," said Maggie, laughing.
7634
7635 "I'm very fond of _you_, Maggie; I shall never forget _you_," said
7636 Philip, "and when I'm very unhappy, I shall always think of you, and
7637 wish I had a sister with dark eyes, just like yours."
7638
7639 "Why do you like my eyes?" said Maggie, well pleased. She had never
7640 heard any one but her father speak of her eyes as if they had merit.
7641
7642 "I don't know," said Philip. "They're not like any other eyes. They
7643 seem trying to speak,--trying to speak kindly. I don't like other
7644 people to look at me much, but I like you to look at me, Maggie."
7645
7646 "Why, I think you're fonder of me than Tom is," said Maggie, rather
7647 sorrowfully. Then, wondering how she could convince Philip that she
7648 could like him just as well, although he was crooked, she said:
7649
7650 "Should you like me to kiss you, as I do Tom? I will, if you like."
7651
7652 "Yes, very much; nobody kisses me."
7653
7654 Maggie put her arm round his neck and kissed him quite earnestly.
7655
7656 "There now," she said, "I shall always remember you, and kiss you when
7657 I see you again, if it's ever so long. But I'll go now, because I
7658 think Mr. Askern's done with Tom's foot."
7659
7660 When their father came the second time, Maggie said to him, "Oh,
7661 father, Philip Wakem is so very good to Tom; he is such a clever boy,
7662 and I _do_ love him. And you love him too, Tom, don't you? _Say_ you
7663 love him," she added entreatingly.
7664
7665 Tom colored a little as he looked at his father, and said: "I sha'n't
7666 be friends with him when I leave school, father; but we've made it up
7667 now, since my foot has been bad, and he's taught me to play at
7668 draughts, and I can beat him."
7669
7670 "Well, well," said Mr. Tulliver, "if he's good to you, try and make
7671 him amends, and be good to _him_. He's a poor crooked creature, and
7672 takes after his dead mother. But don't you be getting too thick with
7673 him; he's got his father's blood in him too. Ay, ay, the gray colt may
7674 chance to kick like his black sire."
7675
7676 The jarring natures of the two boys effected what Mr. Tulliver's
7677 admonition alone might have failed to effect; in spite of Philip's new
7678 kindness, and Tom's answering regard in this time of his trouble, they
7679 never became close friends. When Maggie was gone, and when Tom
7680 by-and-by began to walk about as usual, the friendly warmth that had
7681 been kindled by pity and gratitude died out by degrees, and left them
7682 in their old relation to each other. Philip was often peevish and
7683 contemptuous; and Tom's more specific and kindly impressions gradually
7684 melted into the old background of suspicion and dislike toward him as
7685 a queer fellow, a humpback, and the son of a rogue. If boys and men
7686 are to be welded together in the glow of transient feeling, they must
7687 be made of metal that will mix, else they inevitably fall asunder when
7688 the heat dies out.
7689
7690
7691
7692 Chapter VII
7693
7694 The Golden Gates Are Passed
7695
7696
7697 So Tom went on even to the fifth half-year--till he was turned
7698 sixteen--at King's Lorton, while Maggie was growing with a rapidity
7699 which her aunts considered highly reprehensible, at Miss Firniss's
7700 boarding-school in the ancient town of Laceham on the Floss, with
7701 cousin Lucy for her companion. In her early letters to Tom she had
7702 always sent her love to Philip, and asked many questions about him,
7703 which were answered by brief sentences about Tom's toothache, and a
7704 turf-house which he was helping to build in the garden, with other
7705 items of that kind. She was pained to hear Tom say in the holidays
7706 that Philip was as queer as ever again, and often cross. They were no
7707 longer very good friends, she perceived; and when she reminded Tom
7708 that he ought always to love Philip for being so good to him when his
7709 foot was bad, he answered: "Well, it isn't my fault; _I_ don't do
7710 anything to him." She hardly ever saw Philip during the remainder of
7711 their school-life; in the Midsummer holidays he was always away at the
7712 seaside, and at Christmas she could only meet him at long intervals in
7713 the street of St. Ogg's. When they did meet, she remembered her
7714 promise to kiss him, but, as a young lady who had been at a
7715 boarding-school, she knew now that such a greeting was out of the
7716 question, and Philip would not expect it. The promise was void, like
7717 so many other sweet, illusory promises of our childhood; void as
7718 promises made in Eden before the seasons were divided, and when the
7719 starry blossoms grew side by side with the ripening peach,--impossible
7720 to be fulfilled when the golden gates had been passed.
7721
7722 But when their father was actually engaged in the long-threatened
7723 lawsuit, and Wakem, as the agent at once of Pivart and Old Harry, was
7724 acting against him, even Maggie felt, with some sadness, that they
7725 were not likely ever to have any intimacy with Philip again; the very
7726 name of Wakem made her father angry, and she had once heard him say
7727 that if that crook-backed son lived to inherit his father's ill-gotten
7728 gains, there would be a curse upon him. "Have as little to do with him
7729 at school as you can, my lad," he said to Tom; and the command was
7730 obeyed the more easily because Mr. Sterling by this time had two
7731 additional pupils; for though this gentleman's rise in the world was
7732 not of that meteor-like rapidity which the admirers of his
7733 extemporaneous eloquence had expected for a preacher whose voice
7734 demanded so wide a sphere, he had yet enough of growing prosperity to
7735 enable him to increase his expenditure in continued disproportion to
7736 his income.
7737
7738 As for Tom's school course, it went on with mill-like monotony, his
7739 mind continuing to move with a slow, half-stifled pulse in a medium
7740 uninteresting or unintelligible ideas. But each vacation he brought
7741 home larger and larger drawings with the satiny rendering of
7742 landscape, and water-colors in vivid greens, together with manuscript
7743 books full of exercises and problems, in which the handwriting was all
7744 the finer because he gave his whole mind to it. Each vacation he
7745 brought home a new book or two, indicating his progress through
7746 different stages of history, Christian doctrine, and Latin literature;
7747 and that passage was not entirely without results, besides the
7748 possession of the books. Tom's ear and tongue had become accustomed to
7749 a great many words and phrases which are understood to be signs of an
7750 educated condition; and though he had never really applied his mind to
7751 any one of his lessons, the lessons had left a deposit of vague,
7752 fragmentary, ineffectual notions. Mr. Tulliver, seeing signs of
7753 acquirement beyond the reach of his own criticism, thought it was
7754 probably all right with Tom's education; he observed, indeed, that
7755 there were no maps, and not enough "summing"; but he made no formal
7756 complaint to Mr. Stelling. It was a puzzling business, this schooling;
7757 and if he took Tom away, where could he send him with better effect?
7758
7759 By the time Tom had reached his last quarter at King's Lorton, the
7760 years had made striking changes in him since the day we saw him
7761 returning from Mr. Jacobs's academy. He was a tall youth now, carrying
7762 himself without the least awkwardness, and speaking without more
7763 shyness than was a becoming symptom of blended diffidence and pride;
7764 he wore his tail-coat and his stand-up collars, and watched the down
7765 on his lip with eager impatience, looking every day at his virgin
7766 razor, with which he had provided himself in the last holidays. Philip
7767 had already left,--at the autumn quarter,--that he might go to the
7768 south for the winter, for the sake of his health; and this change
7769 helped to give Tom the unsettled, exultant feeling that usually
7770 belongs to the last months before leaving school. This quarter, too,
7771 there was some hope of his father's lawsuit being decided; _that_ made
7772 the prospect of home more entirely pleasurable. For Tom, who had
7773 gathered his view of the case from his father's conversation, had no
7774 doubt that Pivart would be beaten.
7775
7776 Tom had not heard anything from home for some weeks,--a fact which did
7777 not surprise him, for his father and mother were not apt to manifest
7778 their affection in unnecessary letters,--when, to his great surprise,
7779 on the morning of a dark, cold day near the end of November, he was
7780 told, soon after entering the study at nine o'clock, that his sister
7781 was in the drawing-room. It was Mrs. Stelling who had come into the
7782 study to tell him, and she left him to enter the drawing-room alone.
7783
7784 Maggie, too, was tall now, with braided and coiled hair; she was
7785 almost as tall as Tom, though she was only thirteen; and she really
7786 looked older than he did at that moment. She had thrown off her
7787 bonnet, her heavy braids were pushed back from her forehead, as if it
7788 would not bear that extra load, and her young face had a strangely
7789 worn look, as her eyes turned anxiously toward the door. When Tom
7790 entered she did not speak, but only went up to him, put her arms round
7791 his neck, and kissed him earnestly. He was used to various moods of
7792 hers, and felt no alarm at the unusual seriousness of her greeting.
7793
7794 "Why, how is it you're come so early this cold morning, Maggie? Did
7795 you come in the gig?" said Tom, as she backed toward the sofa, and
7796 drew him to her side.
7797
7798 "No, I came by the coach. I've walked from the turnpike."
7799
7800 "But how is it you're not at school? The holidays have not begun yet?"
7801
7802 "Father wanted me at home," said Maggie, with a slight trembling of
7803 the lip. "I came home three or four days ago."
7804
7805 "Isn't my father well?" said Tom, rather anxiously.
7806
7807 "Not quite," said Maggie. "He's very unhappy, Tom. The lawsuit is
7808 ended, and I came to tell you because I thought it would be better for
7809 you to know it before you came home, and I didn't like only to send
7810 you a letter."
7811
7812 "My father hasn't lost?" said Tom, hastily, springing from the sofa,
7813 and standing before Maggie with his hands suddenly thrust into his
7814 pockets.
7815
7816 "Yes, dear Tom," said Maggie, looking up at him with trembling.
7817
7818 Tom was silent a minute or two, with his eyes fixed on the floor. Then
7819 he said:
7820
7821 "My father will have to pay a good deal of money, then?"
7822
7823 "Yes," said Maggie, rather faintly.
7824
7825 "Well, it can't be helped," said Tom, bravely, not translating the
7826 loss of a large sum of money into any tangible results. "But my
7827 father's very much vexed, I dare say?" he added, looking at Maggie,
7828 and thinking that her agitated face was only part of her girlish way
7829 of taking things.
7830
7831 "Yes," said Maggie, again faintly. Then, urged to fuller speech by
7832 Tom's freedom from apprehension, she said loudly and rapidly, as if
7833 the words _would_ burst from her: "Oh, Tom, he will lose the mill and
7834 the land and everything; he will have nothing left."
7835
7836 Tom's eyes flashed out one look of surprise at her, before he turned
7837 pale, and trembled visibly. He said nothing, but sat down on the sofa
7838 again, looking vaguely out of the opposite window.
7839
7840 Anxiety about the future had never entered Tom's mind. His father had
7841 always ridden a good horse, kept a good house, and had the cheerful,
7842 confident air of a man who has plenty of property to fall back upon.
7843 Tom had never dreamed that his father would "fail"; _that_ was a form
7844 of misfortune which he had always heard spoken of as a deep disgrace,
7845 and disgrace was an idea that he could not associate with any of his
7846 relations, least of all with his father. A proud sense of family
7847 respectability was part of the very air Tom had been born and brought
7848 up in. He knew there were people in St. Ogg's who made a show without
7849 money to support it, and he had always heard such people spoken of by
7850 his own friends with contempt and reprobation. He had a strong belief,
7851 which was a lifelong habit, and required no definite evidence to rest
7852 on, that his father could spend a great deal of money if he chose; and
7853 since his education at Mr. Stelling's had given him a more expensive
7854 view of life, he had often thought that when he got older he would
7855 make a figure in the world, with his horse and dogs and saddle, and
7856 other accoutrements of a fine young man, and show himself equal to any
7857 of his contemporaries at St. Ogg's, who might consider themselves a
7858 grade above him in society because their fathers were professional
7859 men, or had large oil-mills. As to the prognostics and headshaking of
7860 his aunts and uncles, they had never produced the least effect on him,
7861 except to make him think that aunts and uncles were disagreeable
7862 society; he had heard them find fault in much the same way as long as
7863 he could remember. His father knew better than they did.
7864
7865 The down had come on Tom's lip, yet his thoughts and expectations had
7866 been hitherto only the reproduction, in changed forms, of the boyish
7867 dreams in which he had lived three years ago. He was awakened now with
7868 a violent shock.
7869
7870 Maggie was frightened at Tom's pale, trembling silence. There was
7871 something else to tell him,--something worse. She threw her arms round
7872 him at last, and said, with a half sob:
7873
7874 "Oh, Tom--dear, dear Tom, don't fret too much; try and bear it well."
7875
7876 Tom turned his cheek passively to meet her entreating kisses, and
7877 there gathered a moisture in his eyes, which he just rubbed away with
7878 his hand. The action seemed to rouse him, for he shook himself and
7879 said: "I shall go home, with you, Maggie. Didn't my father say I was
7880 to go?"
7881
7882 "No, Tom, father didn't wish it," said Maggie, her anxiety about _his_
7883 feeling helping her to master her agitation. What _would_ he do when
7884 she told him all? "But mother wants you to come,--poor mother!--she
7885 cries so. Oh, Tom, it's very dreadful at home."
7886
7887 Maggie's lips grew whiter, and she began to tremble almost as Tom had
7888 done. The two poor things clung closer to each other, both
7889 trembling,--the one at an unshapen fear, the other at the image of a
7890 terrible certainty. When Maggie spoke, it was hardly above a whisper.
7891
7892 "And--and--poor father----"
7893
7894 Maggie could not utter it. But the suspense was intolerable to Tom. A
7895 vague idea of going to prison, as a consequence of debt, was the shape
7896 his fears had begun to take.
7897
7898 "Where's my father?" he said impatiently. "_Tell_ me, Maggie."
7899
7900 "He's at home," said Maggie, finding it easier to reply to that
7901 question. "But," she added, after a pause, "not himself--he fell off
7902 his horse. He has known nobody but me ever since--he seems to have
7903 lost his senses. O father, father----"
7904
7905 With these last words, Maggie's sobs burst forth with the more
7906 violence for the previous struggle against them. Tom felt that
7907 pressure of the heart which forbids tears; he had no distinct vision
7908 of their troubles as Maggie had, who had been at home; he only felt
7909 the crushing weight of what seemed unmitigated misfortune. He
7910 tightened his arm almost convulsively round Maggie as she sobbed, but
7911 his face looked rigid and tearless, his eyes blank,--as if a black
7912 curtain of cloud had suddenly fallen on his path.
7913
7914 But Maggie soon checked herself abruptly; a single thought had acted
7915 on her like a startling sound.
7916
7917 "We must set out, Tom, we must not stay. Father will miss me; we must
7918 be at the turnpike at ten to meet the coach." She said this with hasty
7919 decision, rubbing her eyes, and rising to seize her bonnet.
7920
7921 Tom at once felt the same impulse, and rose too. "Wait a minute,
7922 Maggie," he said. "I must speak to Mr. Stelling, and then we'll go."
7923
7924 He thought he must go to the study where the pupils were; but on his
7925 way he met Mr. Stelling, who had heard from his wife that Maggie
7926 appeared to be in trouble when she asked for her brother, and now that
7927 he thought the brother and sister had been alone long enough, was
7928 coming to inquire and offer his sympathy.
7929
7930 "Please, sir, I must go home," Tom said abruptly, as he met Mr.
7931 Stelling in the passage. "I must go back with my sister directly. My
7932 father's lost his lawsuit--he's lost all his property--and he's very
7933 ill."
7934
7935 Mr. Stelling felt like a kind-hearted man; he foresaw a probable money
7936 loss for himself, but this had no appreciable share in his feeling,
7937 while he looked with grave pity at the brother and sister for whom
7938 youth and sorrow had begun together. When he knew how Maggie had come,
7939 and how eager she was to get home again, he hurried their departure,
7940 only whispering something to Mrs. Stelling, who had followed him, and
7941 who immediately left the room.
7942
7943 Tom and Maggie were standing on the door-step, ready to set out, when
7944 Mrs. Stelling came with a little basket, which she hung on Maggie's
7945 arm, saying: "Do remember to eat something on the way, dear." Maggie's
7946 heart went out toward this woman whom she had never liked, and she
7947 kissed her silently. It was the first sign within the poor child of
7948 that new sense which is the gift of sorrow,--that susceptibility to
7949 the bare offices of humanity which raises them into a bond of loving
7950 fellowship, as to haggard men among the ice-bergs the mere presence of
7951 an ordinary comrade stirs the deep fountains of affection.
7952
7953 Mr. Stelling put his hand on Tom's shoulder and said: "God bless you,
7954 my boy; let me know how you get on." Then he pressed Maggie's hand;
7955 but there were no audible good-byes. Tom had so often thought how
7956 joyful he should be the day he left school "for good"! And now his
7957 school years seemed like a holiday that had come to an end.
7958
7959 The two slight youthful figures soon grew indistinct on the distant
7960 road,--were soon lost behind the projecting hedgerow.
7961
7962 They had gone forth together into their life of sorrow, and they would
7963 never more see the sunshine undimmed by remembered cares. They had
7964 entered the thorny wilderness, and the golden gates of their childhood
7965 had forever closed behind them.
7966
7967
7968
7969
7970 Book III
7971
7972 _The Downfall_
7973
7974
7975
7976 Chapter I
7977
7978 What Had Happened at Home
7979
7980
7981 When Mr. Tulliver first knew the fact that the lawsuit was decided
7982 against him, and that Pivart and Wakem were triumphant, every one who
7983 happened to observe him at the time thought that, for so confident and
7984 hot-tempered a man, he bore the blow remarkably well. He thought so
7985 himself; he thought he was going to show that if Wakem or anybody else
7986 considered him crushed, they would find themselves mistaken. He could
7987 not refuse to see that the costs of this protracted suit would take
7988 more than he possessed to pay them; but he appeared to himself to be
7989 full of expedients by which he could ward off any results but such as
7990 were tolerable, and could avoid the appearance of breaking down in the
7991 world. All the obstinacy and defiance of his nature, driven out of
7992 their old channel, found a vent for themselves in the immediate
7993 formation of plans by which he would meet his difficulties, and remain
7994 Mr. Tulliver of Dorlcote Mill in spite of them. There was such a rush
7995 of projects in his brain, that it was no wonder his face was flushed
7996 when he came away from his talk with his attorney, Mr. Gore, and
7997 mounted his horse to ride home from Lindum. There was Furley, who held
7998 the mortgage on the land,--a reasonable fellow, who would see his own
7999 interest, Mr. Tulliver was convinced, and who would be glad not only
8000 to purchase the whole estate, including the mill and homestead, but
8001 would accept Mr. Tulliver as tenant, and be willing to advance money
8002 to be repaid with high interest out of the profits of the business,
8003 which would be made over to him, Mr. Tulliver only taking enough
8004 barely to maintain himself and his family. Who would neglect such a
8005 profitable investment? Certainly not Furley, for Mr. Tulliver had
8006 determined that Furley should meet his plans with the utmost alacrity;
8007 and there are men whoses brains have not yet been dangerously heated
8008 by the loss of a lawsuit, who are apt to see in their own interest or
8009 desires a motive for other men's actions. There was no doubt (in the
8010 miller's mind) that Furley would do just what was desirable; and if he
8011 did--why, things would not be so very much worse. Mr. Tulliver and his
8012 family must live more meagrely and humbly, but it would only be till
8013 the profits of the business had paid off Furley's advances, and that
8014 might be while Mr. Tulliver had still a good many years of life before
8015 him. It was clear that the costs of the suit could be paid without his
8016 being obliged to turn out of his old place, and look like a ruined
8017 man. It was certainly an awkward moment in his affairs. There was that
8018 suretyship for poor Riley, who had died suddenly last April, and left
8019 his friend saddled with a debt of two hundred and fifty pounds,--a
8020 fact which had helped to make Mr. Tulliver's banking book less
8021 pleasant reading than a man might desire toward Christmas. Well! he
8022 had never been one of those poor-spirited sneaks who would refuse to
8023 give a helping hand to a fellow-traveller in this puzzling world. The
8024 really vexatious business was the fact that some months ago the
8025 creditor who had lent him the five hundred pounds to repay Mrs. Glegg
8026 had become uneasy about his money (set on by Wakem, of course), and
8027 Mr. Tulliver, still confident that he should gain his suit, and
8028 finding it eminently inconvenient to raise the said sum until that
8029 desirable issue had taken place, had rashly acceded to the demand that
8030 he should give a bill of sale on his household furniture and some
8031 other effects, as security in lieu of the bond. It was all one, he had
8032 said to himself; he should soon pay off the money, and there was no
8033 harm in giving that security any more than another. But now the
8034 consequences of this bill of sale occurred to him in a new light, and
8035 he remembered that the time was close at hand when it would be
8036 enforced unless the money were repaid. Two months ago he would have
8037 declared stoutly that he would never be beholden to his wife's
8038 friends; but now he told himself as stoutly that it was nothing but
8039 right and natural that Bessy should go to the Pullets and explain the
8040 thing to them; they would hardly let Bessy's furniture be sold, and it
8041 might be security to Pullet if he advanced the money,--there would,
8042 after all, be no gift or favor in the matter. Mr. Tulliver would never
8043 have asked for anything from so poor-spirited a fellow for himself,
8044 but Bessy might do so if she liked.
8045
8046 It is precisely the proudest and most obstinate men who are the most
8047 liable to shift their position and contradict themselves in this
8048 sudden manner; everything is easier to them than to face the simple
8049 fact that they have been thoroughly defeated, and must begin life
8050 anew. And Mr. Tulliver, you perceive, though nothing more than a
8051 superior miller and maltster, was as proud and obstinate as if he had
8052 been a very lofty personage, in whom such dispositions might be a
8053 source of that conspicuous, far-echoing tragedy, which sweeps the
8054 stage in regal robes, and makes the dullest chronicler sublime. The
8055 pride and obstinacy of millers and other insignificant people, whom
8056 you pass unnoticingly on the road every day, have their tragedy too;
8057 but it is of that unwept, hidden sort that goes on from generation to
8058 generation, and leaves no record,--such tragedy, perhaps, as lies in
8059 the conflicts of young souls, hungry for joy, under a lot made
8060 suddenly hard to them, under the dreariness of a home where the
8061 morning brings no promise with it, and where the unexpectant
8062 discontent of worn and disappointed parents weighs on the children
8063 like a damp, thick air, in which all the functions of life are
8064 depressed; or such tragedy as lies in the slow or sudden death that
8065 follows on a bruised passion, though it may be a death that finds only
8066 a parish funeral. There are certain animals to which tenacity of
8067 position is a law of life,--they can never flourish again, after a
8068 single wrench: and there are certain human beings to whom predominance
8069 is a law of life,--they can only sustain humiliation so long as they
8070 can refuse to believe in it, and, in their own conception, predominate
8071 still.
8072
8073 Mr. Tulliver was still predominating, in his own imagination, as he
8074 approached St. Ogg's, through which he had to pass on his way
8075 homeward. But what was it that suggested to him, as he saw the Laceham
8076 coach entering the town, to follow it to the coach-office, and get the
8077 clerk there to write a letter, requiring Maggie to come home the very
8078 next day? Mr. Tulliver's own hand shook too much under his excitement
8079 for him to write himself, and he wanted the letter to be given to the
8080 coachman to deliver at Miss Firniss's school in the morning. There was
8081 a craving which he would not account for to himself, to have Maggie
8082 near him, without delay,--she must come back by the coach to-morrow.
8083
8084 To Mrs. Tulliver, when he got home, he would admit no difficulties,
8085 and scolded down her burst of grief on hearing that the lawsuit was
8086 lost, by angry assertions that there was nothing to grieve about. He
8087 said nothing to her that night about the bill of sale and the
8088 application to Mrs. Pullet, for he had kept her in ignorance of the
8089 nature of that transaction, and had explained the necessity for taking
8090 an inventory of the goods as a matter connected with his will. The
8091 possession of a wife conspicuously one's inferior in intellect is,
8092 like other high privileges, attended with a few inconveniences, and,
8093 among the rest, with the occasional necessity for using a little
8094 deception.
8095
8096 The next day Mr. Tulliver was again on horseback in the afternoon, on
8097 his way to Mr. Gore's office at St. Ogg's. Gore was to have seen
8098 Furley in the morning, and to have sounded him in relation to Mr.
8099 Tulliver's affairs. But he had not gone half-way when he met a clerk
8100 from Mr. Gore's office, who was bringing a letter to Mr. Tulliver. Mr.
8101 Gore had been prevented by a sudden call of business from waiting at
8102 his office to see Mr. Tulliver, according to appointment, but would be
8103 at his office at eleven to-morrow morning, and meanwhile had sent some
8104 important information by letter.
8105
8106 "Oh!" said Mr. Tulliver, taking the letter, but not opening it. "Then
8107 tell Gore I'll see him to-morrow at eleven"; and he turned his horse.
8108
8109 The clerk, struck with Mr. Tulliver's glistening, excited glance,
8110 looked after him for a few moments, and then rode away. The reading of
8111 a letter was not the affair of an instant to Mr. Tulliver; he took in
8112 the sense of a statement very slowly through the medium of written or
8113 even printed characters; so he had put the letter in his pocket,
8114 thinking he would open it in his armchair at home. But by-and-by it
8115 occurred to him that there might be something in the letter Mrs.
8116 Tulliver must not know about, and if so, it would be better to keep it
8117 out of her sight altogether. He stopped his horse, took out the
8118 letter, and read it. It was only a short letter; the substance was,
8119 that Mr. Gore had ascertained, on secret, but sure authority, that
8120 Furley had been lately much straitened for money, and had parted with
8121 his securities,--among the rest, the mortgage on Mr. Tulliver's
8122 property, which he had transferred to----Wakem.
8123
8124 In half an hour after this Mr. Tulliver's own wagoner found him lying
8125 by the roadside insensible, with an open letter near him, and his gray
8126 horse snuffing uneasily about him.
8127
8128 When Maggie reached home that evening, in obedience to her father's
8129 call, he was no longer insensible. About an hour before he had become
8130 conscious, and after vague, vacant looks around him, had muttered
8131 something about "a letter," which he presently repeated impatiently.
8132 At the instance of Mr. Turnbull, the medical man, Gore's letter was
8133 brought and laid on the bed, and the previous impatience seemed to be
8134 allayed. The stricken man lay for some time with his eyes fixed on the
8135 letter, as if he were trying to knit up his thoughts by its help. But
8136 presently a new wave of memory seemed to have come and swept the other
8137 away; he turned his eyes from the letter to the door, and after
8138 looking uneasily, as if striving to see something his eyes were too
8139 dim for, he said, "The little wench."
8140
8141 He repeated the words impatiently from time to time, appearing
8142 entirely unconscious of everything except this one importunate want,
8143 and giving no sign of knowing his wife or any one else; and poor Mrs.
8144 Tulliver, her feeble faculties almost paralyzed by this sudden
8145 accumulation of troubles, went backward and forward to the gate to see
8146 if the Laceham coach were coming, though it was not yet time.
8147
8148 But it came at last, and set down the poor anxious girl, no longer the
8149 "little wench," except to her father's fond memory.
8150
8151 "Oh, mother, what is the matter?" Maggie said, with pale lips, as her
8152 mother came toward her crying. She didn't think her father was ill,
8153 because the letter had come at his dictation from the office at St.
8154 Ogg's.
8155
8156 But Mr. Turnbull came now to meet her; a medical man is the good angel
8157 of the troubled house, and Maggie ran toward the kind old friend, whom
8158 she remembered as long as she could remember anything, with a
8159 trembling, questioning look.
8160
8161 "Don't alarm yourself too much, my dear," he said, taking her hand.
8162 "Your father has had a sudden attack, and has not quite recovered his
8163 memory. But he has been asking for you, and it will do him good to see
8164 you. Keep as quiet as you can; take off your things, and come upstairs
8165 with me."
8166
8167 Maggie obeyed, with that terrible beating of the heart which makes
8168 existence seem simply a painful pulsation. The very quietness with
8169 which Mr. Turnbull spoke had frightened her susceptible imagination.
8170 Her father's eyes were still turned uneasily toward the door when she
8171 entered and met the strange, yearning, helpless look that had been
8172 seeking her in vain. With a sudden flash and movement, he raised
8173 himself in the bed; she rushed toward him, and clasped him with
8174 agonized kisses.
8175
8176 Poor child! it was very early for her to know one of those supreme
8177 moments in life when all we have hoped or delighted in, all we can
8178 dread or endure, falls away from our regard as insignificant; is lost,
8179 like a trivial memory, in that simple, primitive love which knits us
8180 to the beings who have been nearest to us, in their times of
8181 helplessness or of anguish.
8182
8183 But that flash of recognition had been too great a strain on the
8184 father's bruised, enfeebled powers. He sank back again in renewed
8185 insensibility and rigidity, which lasted for many hours, and was only
8186 broken by a flickering return of consciousness, in which he took
8187 passively everything that was given to him, and seemed to have a sort
8188 of infantine satisfaction in Maggie's near presence,--such
8189 satisfaction as a baby has when it is returned to the nurse's lap.
8190
8191 Mrs. Tulliver sent for her sisters, and there was much wailing and
8192 lifting up of hands below stairs. Both uncles and aunts saw that the
8193 ruin of Bessy and her family was as complete as they had ever
8194 foreboded it, and there was a general family sense that a judgment had
8195 fallen on Mr. Tulliver, which it would be an impiety to counteract by
8196 too much kindness. But Maggie heard little of this, scarcely ever
8197 leaving her father's bedside, where she sat opposite him with her hand
8198 on his. Mrs. Tulliver wanted to have Tom fetched home, and seemed to
8199 be thinking more of her boy even than of her husband; but the aunts
8200 and uncles opposed this. Tom was better at school, since Mr. Turnbull
8201 said there was no immediate danger, he believed. But at the end of the
8202 second day, when Maggie had become more accustomed to her father's
8203 fits of insensibility, and to the expectation that he would revive
8204 from them, the thought of Tom had become urgent with _her_ too; and
8205 when her mother sate crying at night and saying, "My poor lad--it's
8206 nothing but right he should come home," Maggie said, "Let me go for
8207 him, and tell him, mother; I'll go to-morrow morning if father doesn't
8208 know me and want me. It would be so hard for Tom to come home and not
8209 know anything about it beforehand."
8210
8211 And the next morning Maggie went, as we have seen. Sitting on the
8212 coach on their way home, the brother and sister talked to each other
8213 in sad, interrupted whispers.
8214
8215 "They say Mr. Wakem has got a mortgage or something on the land, Tom,"
8216 said Maggie. "It was the letter with that news in it that made father
8217 ill, they think."
8218
8219 "I believe that scoundrel's been planning all along to ruin my
8220 father," said Tom, leaping from the vaguest impressions to a definite
8221 conclusion. "I'll make him feel for it when I'm a man. Mind you never
8222 speak to Philip again."
8223
8224 "Oh, Tom!" said Maggie, in a tone of sad remonstrance; but she had no
8225 spirit to dispute anything then, still less to vex Tom by opposing
8226 him.
8227
8228
8229
8230 Chapter II
8231
8232 Mrs. Tulliver's Teraphim, or Household Gods
8233
8234
8235 When the coach set down Tom and Maggie, it was five hours since she
8236 had started from home, and she was thinking with some trembling that
8237 her father had perhaps missed her, and asked for "the little wench" in
8238 vain. She thought of no other change that might have happened.
8239
8240 She hurried along the gravel-walk and entered the house before Tom;
8241 but in the entrance she was startled by a strong smell of tobacco. The
8242 parlor door was ajar; that was where the smell came from. It was very
8243 strange; could any visitor be smoking at a time like this? Was her
8244 mother there? If so, she must be told that Tom was come. Maggie, after
8245 this pause of surprise, was only in the act of opening the door when
8246 Tom came up, and they both looked into the parlor together.
8247
8248 There was a coarse, dingy man, of whose face Tom had some vague
8249 recollection, sitting in his father's chair, smoking, with a jug and
8250 glass beside him.
8251
8252 The truth flashed on Tom's mind in an instant. To "have the bailiff in
8253 the house," and "to be sold up," were phrases which he had been used
8254 to, even as a little boy; they were part of the disgrace and misery of
8255 "failing," of losing all one's money, and being ruined,--sinking into
8256 the condition of poor working people. It seemed only natural this
8257 should happen, since his father had lost all his property, and he
8258 thought of no more special cause for this particular form of
8259 misfortune than the loss of the lawsuit. But the immediate presence of
8260 this disgrace was so much keener an experience to Tom than the worst
8261 form of apprehension, that he felt at this moment as if his real
8262 trouble had only just begin; it was a touch on the irritated nerve
8263 compared with its spontaneous dull aching.
8264
8265 "How do you do, sir?" said the man, taking the pipe out of his mouth,
8266 with rough, embarrassed civility. The two young startled faces made
8267 him a little uncomfortable.
8268
8269 But Tom turned away hastily without speaking; the sight was too
8270 hateful. Maggie had not understood the appearance of this stranger, as
8271 Tom had. She followed him, whispering: "Who can it be, Tom? What is
8272 the matter?" Then, with a sudden undefined dread lest this stranger
8273 might have something to do with a change in her father, she rushed
8274 upstairs, checking herself at the bedroom door to throw off her
8275 bonnet, and enter on tiptoe. All was silent there; her father was
8276 lying, heedless of everything around him, with his eyes closed as when
8277 she had left him. A servant was there, but not her mother.
8278
8279 "Where's my mother?" she whispered. The servant did not know.
8280
8281 Maggie hastened out, and said to Tom; "Father is lying quiet; let us
8282 go and look for my mother. I wonder where she is."
8283
8284 Mrs. Tulliver was not downstairs, not in any of the bedrooms. There
8285 was but one room below the attic which Maggie had left unsearched; it
8286 was the storeroom, where her mother kept all her linen and all the
8287 precious "best things" that were only unwrapped and brought out on
8288 special occasions.
8289
8290 Tom, preceding Maggie, as they returned along the passage, opened the
8291 door of this room, and immediately said, "Mother!"
8292
8293 Mrs. Tulliver was seated there with all her laid-up treasures. One of
8294 the linen chests was open; the silver teapot was unwrapped from its
8295 many folds of paper, and the best china was laid out on the top of the
8296 closed linen-chest; spoons and skewers and ladles were spread in rows
8297 on the shelves; and the poor woman was shaking her head and weeping,
8298 with a bitter tension of the mouth, over the mark, "Elizabeth Dodson,"
8299 on the corner of some tablecloths she held in her lap.
8300
8301 She dropped them, and started up as Tom spoke.
8302
8303 "Oh, my boy, my boy!" she said, clasping him round the neck. "To think
8304 as I should live to see this day! We're ruined--everything's going to
8305 be sold up--to think as your father should ha' married me to bring me
8306 to this! We've got nothing--we shall be beggars--we must go to the
8307 workhouse----"
8308
8309 She kissed him, then seated herself again, and took another tablecloth
8310 on her lap, unfolding it a little way to look at the pattern, while
8311 the children stood by in mute wretchedness, their minds quite filled
8312 for the moment with the words "beggars" and "workhouse."
8313
8314 "To think o' these cloths as I spun myself," she went on, lifting
8315 things out and turning them over with an excitement all the more
8316 strange and piteous because the stout blond woman was usually so
8317 passive,--if she had been ruffled before, it was at the surface
8318 merely,--"and Job Haxey wove 'em, and brought the piece home on his
8319 back, as I remember standing at the door and seeing him come, before I
8320 ever thought o' marrying your father! And the pattern as I chose
8321 myself, and bleached so beautiful, and I marked 'em so as nobody ever
8322 saw such marking,--they must cut the cloth to get it out, for it's a
8323 particular stitch. And they're all to be sold, and go into strange
8324 people's houses, and perhaps be cut with the knives, and wore out
8325 before I'm dead. You'll never have one of 'em, my boy," she said,
8326 looking up at Tom with her eyes full of tears, "and I meant 'em for
8327 you. I wanted you to have all o' this pattern. Maggie could have had
8328 the large check--it never shows so well when the dishes are on it."
8329
8330 Tom was touched to the quick, but there was an angry reaction
8331 immediately. His face flushed as he said:
8332
8333 "But will my aunts let them be sold, mother? Do they know about it?
8334 They'll never let your linen go, will they? Haven't you sent to them?"
8335
8336 "Yes, I sent Luke directly they'd put the bailies in, and your aunt
8337 Pullet's been--and, oh dear, oh dear, she cries so and says your
8338 father's disgraced my family and made it the talk o' the country; and
8339 she'll buy the spotted cloths for herself, because she's never had so
8340 many as she wanted o' that pattern, and they sha'n't go to strangers,
8341 but she's got more checks a'ready nor she can do with." (Here Mrs.
8342 Tulliver began to lay back the tablecloths in the chest, folding and
8343 stroking them automatically.) "And your uncle Glegg's been too, and he
8344 says things must be bought in for us to lie down on, but he must talk
8345 to your aunt; and they're all coming to consult. But I know they'll
8346 none of 'em take my chany," she added, turning toward the cups and
8347 saucers, "for they all found fault with 'em when I bought 'em, 'cause
8348 o' the small gold sprig all over 'em, between the flowers. But there's
8349 none of 'em got better chany, not even your aunt Pullet herself; and I
8350 bought it wi' my own money as I'd saved ever since I was turned
8351 fifteen; and the silver teapot, too,--your father never paid for 'em.
8352 And to think as he should ha' married me, and brought me to this."
8353
8354 Mrs. Tulliver burst out crying afresh, and she sobbed with her
8355 handkerchief at her eyes a few moments, but then removing it, she said
8356 in a deprecating way, still half sobbing, as if she were called upon
8357 to speak before she could command her voice,--
8358
8359 "And I _did_ say to him times and times, 'Whativer you do, don't go to
8360 law,' and what more could I do? I've had to sit by while my own
8361 fortin's been spent, and what should ha' been my children's, too.
8362 You'll have niver a penny, my boy--but it isn't your poor mother's
8363 fault."
8364
8365 She put out one arm toward Tom, looking up at him piteously with her
8366 helpless, childish blue eyes. The poor lad went to her and kissed her,
8367 and she clung to him. For the first time Tom thought of his father
8368 with some reproach. His natural inclination to blame, hitherto kept
8369 entirely in abeyance toward his father by the predisposition to think
8370 him always right, simply on the ground that he was Tom Tulliver's
8371 father, was turned into this new channel by his mother's plaints; and
8372 with his indignation against Wakem there began to mingle some
8373 indignation of another sort. Perhaps his father might have helped
8374 bringing them all down in the world, and making people talk of them
8375 with contempt, but no one should talk long of Tom Tulliver with
8376 contempt.
8377
8378 The natural strength and firmness of his nature was beginning to
8379 assert itself, urged by the double stimulus of resentment against his
8380 aunts, and the sense that he must behave like a man and take care of
8381 his mother.
8382
8383 "Don't fret, mother," he said tenderly. "I shall soon be able to get
8384 money; I'll get a situation of some sort."
8385
8386 "Bless you, my boy!" said Mrs. Tulliver, a little soothed. Then,
8387 looking round sadly, "But I shouldn't ha' minded so much if we could
8388 ha' kept the things wi' my name on 'em."
8389
8390 Maggie had witnessed this scene with gathering anger. The implied
8391 reproaches against her father--her father, who was lying there in a
8392 sort of living death--neutralized all her pity for griefs about
8393 tablecloths and china; and her anger on her father's account was
8394 heightened by some egoistic resentment at Tom's silent concurrence
8395 with her mother in shutting her out from the common calamity. She had
8396 become almost indifferent to her mother's habitual depreciation of
8397 her, but she was keenly alive to any sanction of it, however passive,
8398 that she might suspect in Tom. Poor Maggie was by no means made up of
8399 unalloyed devotedness, but put forth large claims for herself where
8400 she loved strongly. She burst out at last in an agitated, almost
8401 violent tone: "Mother, how can you talk so; as if you cared only for
8402 things with _your_ name on, and not for what has my father's name too;
8403 and to care about anything but dear father himself!--when he's lying
8404 there, and may never speak to us again. Tom, you ought to say so too;
8405 you ought not to let any one find fault with my father."
8406
8407 Maggie, almost choked with mingled grief and anger, left the room, and
8408 took her old place on her father's bed. Her heart went out to him with
8409 a stronger movement than ever, at the thought that people would blame
8410 him. Maggie hated blame; she had been blamed all her life, and nothing
8411 had come of it but evil tempers.
8412
8413 Her father had always defended and excused her, and her loving
8414 remembrance of his tenderness was a force within her that would enable
8415 her to do or bear anything for his sake.
8416
8417 Tom was a little shocked at Maggie's outburst,--telling _him_ as well
8418 as his mother what it was right to do! She ought to have learned
8419 better than have those hectoring, assuming manners, by this time. But
8420 he presently went into his father's room, and the sight there touched
8421 him in a way that effaced the slighter impressions of the previous
8422 hour. When Maggie saw how he was moved, she went to him and put her
8423 arm round his neck as he sat by the bed, and the two children forgot
8424 everything else in the sense that they had one father and one sorrow.
8425
8426
8427
8428 Chapter III
8429
8430 The Family Council
8431
8432
8433 It was at eleven o'clock the next morning that the aunts and uncles
8434 came to hold their consultation. The fire was lighted in the large
8435 parlor, and poor Mrs. Tulliver, with a confused impression that it was
8436 a great occasion, like a funeral, unbagged the bell-rope tassels, and
8437 unpinned the curtains, adjusting them in proper folds, looking round
8438 and shaking her head sadly at the polished tops and legs of the
8439 tables, which sister Pullet herself could not accuse of insufficient
8440 brightness.
8441
8442 Mr. Deane was not coming, he was away on business; but Mrs. Deane
8443 appeared punctually in that handsome new gig with the head to it, and
8444 the livery-servant driving it, which had thrown so clear a light on
8445 several traits in her character to some of her female friends in St.
8446 Ogg's. Mr. Deane had been advancing in the world as rapidly as Mr.
8447 Tulliver had been going down in it; and in Mrs. Deane's house the
8448 Dodson linen and plate were beginning to hold quite a subordinate
8449 position, as a mere supplement to the handsomer articles of the same
8450 kind, purchased in recent years,--a change which had caused an
8451 occasional coolness in the sisterly intercourse between her and Mrs.
8452 Glegg, who felt that Susan was getting "like the rest," and there
8453 would soon be little of the true Dodson spirit surviving except in
8454 herself, and, it might be hoped, in those nephews who supported the
8455 Dodson name on the family land, far away in the Wolds.
8456
8457 People who live at a distance are naturally less faulty than those
8458 immediately under our own eyes; and it seems superfluous, when we
8459 consider the remote geographical position of the Ethiopians, and how
8460 very little the Greeks had to do with them, to inquire further why
8461 Homer calls them "blameless."
8462
8463 Mrs. Deane was the first to arrive; and when she had taken her seat in
8464 the large parlor, Mrs. Tulliver came down to her with her comely face
8465 a little distorted, nearly as it would have been if she had been
8466 crying. She was not a woman who could shed abundant tears, except in
8467 moments when the prospect of losing her furniture became unusually
8468 vivid, but she felt how unfitting it was to be quite calm under
8469 present circumstances.
8470
8471 "Oh, sister, what a world this is!" she exclaimed as she entered;
8472 "what trouble, oh dear!"
8473
8474 Mrs. Deane was a thin-lipped woman, who made small well-considered
8475 speeches on peculiar occasions, repeating them afterward to her
8476 husband, and asking him if she had not spoken very properly.
8477
8478 "Yes, sister," she said deliberately, "this is a changing world, and
8479 we don't know to-day what may happen tomorrow. But it's right to be
8480 prepared for all things, and if trouble's sent, to remember as it
8481 isn't sent without a cause. I'm very sorry for you as a sister, and if
8482 the doctor orders jelly for Mr. Tulliver, I hope you'll let me know.
8483 I'll send it willingly; for it is but right he should have proper
8484 attendance while he's ill."
8485
8486 "Thank you, Susan," said Mrs. Tulliver, rather faintly, withdrawing
8487 her fat hand from her sister's thin one. "But there's been no talk o'
8488 jelly yet." Then after a moment's pause she added, "There's a dozen o'
8489 cut jelly-glasses upstairs--I shall never put jelly into 'em no more."
8490
8491 Her voice was rather agitated as she uttered the last words, but the
8492 sound of wheels diverted her thoughts. Mr. and Mrs. Glegg were come,
8493 and were almost immediately followed by Mr. and Mrs. Pullet.
8494
8495 Mrs. Pullet entered crying, as a compendious mode, at all times, of
8496 expressing what were her views of life in general, and what, in brief,
8497 were the opinions she held concerning the particular case before her.
8498
8499 Mrs. Glegg had on her fuzziest front, and garments which appeared to
8500 have had a recent resurrection from rather a creasy form of burial; a
8501 costume selected with the high moral purpose of instilling perfect
8502 humility into Bessy and her children.
8503
8504 "Mrs. G., won't you come nearer the fire?" said her husband, unwilling
8505 to take the more comfortable seat without offering it to her.
8506
8507 "You see I've seated myself here, Mr. Glegg," returned this superior
8508 woman; "_you_ can roast yourself, if you like."
8509
8510 "Well," said Mr. Glegg, seating himself good-humoredly, "and how's the
8511 poor man upstairs?"
8512
8513 "Dr. Turnbull thought him a deal better this morning," said Mrs.
8514 Tulliver; "he took more notice, and spoke to me; but he's never known
8515 Tom yet,--looks at the poor lad as if he was a stranger, though he
8516 said something once about Tom and the pony. The doctor says his
8517 memory's gone a long way back, and he doesn't know Tom because he's
8518 thinking of him when he was little. Eh dear, eh dear!"
8519
8520 "I doubt it's the water got on his brain," said aunt Pullet, turning
8521 round from adjusting her cap in a melancholy way at the pier-glass.
8522 "It's much if he ever gets up again; and if he does, he'll most like
8523 be childish, as Mr. Carr was, poor man! They fed him with a spoon as
8524 if he'd been a babby for three year. He'd quite lost the use of his
8525 limbs; but then he'd got a Bath chair, and somebody to draw him; and
8526 that's what you won't have, I doubt, Bessy."
8527
8528 "Sister Pullet," said Mrs. Glegg, severely, "if I understand right,
8529 we've come together this morning to advise and consult about what's to
8530 be done in this disgrace as has fallen upon the family, and not to
8531 talk o' people as don't belong to us. Mr. Carr was none of our blood,
8532 nor noways connected with us, as I've ever heared."
8533
8534 "Sister Glegg," said Mrs. Pullet, in a pleading tone, drawing on her
8535 gloves again, and stroking the fingers in an agitated manner, "if
8536 you've got anything disrespectful to say o' Mr. Carr, I do beg of you
8537 as you won't say it to me. _I_ know what he was," she added, with a
8538 sigh; "his breath was short to that degree as you could hear him two
8539 rooms off."
8540
8541 "Sophy!" said Mrs. Glegg, with indignant disgust, "you _do_ talk o'
8542 people's complaints till it's quite undecent. But I say again, as I
8543 said before, I didn't come away from home to talk about acquaintances,
8544 whether they'd short breath or long. If we aren't come together for
8545 one to hear what the other 'ull do to save a sister and her children
8546 from the parish, _I_ shall go back. _One_ can't act without the other,
8547 I suppose; it isn't to be expected as _I_ should do everything."
8548
8549 "Well, Jane," said Mrs. Pullet, "I don't see as you've been so very
8550 forrard at doing. So far as I know, this is the first time as here
8551 you've been, since it's been known as the bailiff's in the house; and
8552 I was here yesterday, and looked at all Bessy's linen and things, and
8553 I told her I'd buy in the spotted tablecloths. I couldn't speak
8554 fairer; for as for the teapot as she doesn't want to go out o' the
8555 family, it stands to sense I can't do with two silver teapots, not if
8556 it _hadn't_ a straight spout, but the spotted damask I was allays fond
8557 on."
8558
8559 "I wish it could be managed so as my teapot and chany and the best
8560 castors needn't be put up for sale," said poor Mrs. Tulliver,
8561 beseechingly, "and the sugar-tongs the first things ever I bought."
8562
8563 "But that can't be helped, you know," said Mr. Glegg. "If one o' the
8564 family chooses to buy 'em in, they can, but one thing must be bid for
8565 as well as another."
8566
8567 "And it isn't to be looked for," said uncle Pullet, with unwonted
8568 independence of idea, "as your own family should pay more for things
8569 nor they'll fetch. They may go for an old song by auction."
8570
8571 "Oh dear, oh dear," said Mrs. Tulliver, "to think o' my chany being
8572 sold i' that way, and I bought it when I was married, just as you did
8573 yours, Jane and Sophy; and I know you didn't like mine, because o' the
8574 sprig, but I was fond of it; and there's never been a bit broke, for
8575 I've washed it myself; and there's the tulips on the cups, and the
8576 roses, as anybody might go and look at 'em for pleasure. You wouldn't
8577 like _your_ chany to go for an old song and be broke to pieces, though
8578 yours has got no color in it, Jane,--it's all white and fluted, and
8579 didn't cost so much as mine. And there's the castors, sister Deane, I
8580 can't think but you'd like to have the castors, for I've heard you say
8581 they're pretty."
8582
8583 "Well, I've no objection to buy some of the best things," said Mrs.
8584 Deane, rather loftily; "we can do with extra things in our house."
8585
8586 "Best things!" exclaimed Mrs. Glegg, with severity, which had gathered
8587 intensity from her long silence. "It drives me past patience to hear
8588 you all talking o' best things, and buying in this, that, and the
8589 other, such as silver and chany. You must bring your mind to your
8590 circumstances, Bessy, and not be thinking o' silver and chany; but
8591 whether you shall get so much as a flock-bed to lie on, and a blanket
8592 to cover you, and a stool to sit on. You must remember, if you get
8593 'em, it'll be because your friends have bought 'em for you, for you're
8594 dependent upon _them_ for everything; for your husband lies there
8595 helpless, and hasn't got a penny i' the world to call his own. And
8596 it's for your own good I say this, for it's right you should feel what
8597 your state is, and what disgrace your husband's brought on your own
8598 family, as you've got to look to for everything, and be humble in your
8599 mind."
8600
8601 Mrs. Glegg paused, for speaking with much energy for the good of
8602 others is naturally exhausting.
8603
8604 Mrs. Tulliver, always borne down by the family predominance of sister
8605 Jane, who had made her wear the yoke of a younger sister in very
8606 tender years, said pleadingly:
8607
8608 "I'm sure, sister, I've never asked anybody to do anything, only buy
8609 things as it 'ud be a pleasure to 'em to have, so as they mightn't go
8610 and be spoiled i' strange houses. I never asked anybody to buy the
8611 things in for me and my children; though there's the linen I spun, and
8612 I thought when Tom was born,--I thought one o' the first things when
8613 he was lying i' the cradle, as all the things I'd bought wi' my own
8614 money, and been so careful of, 'ud go to him. But I've said nothing as
8615 I wanted my sisters to pay their money for me. What my husband has
8616 done for _his_ sister's unknown, and we should ha' been better off
8617 this day if it hadn't been as he's lent money and never asked for it
8618 again."
8619
8620 "Come, come," said Mr. Glegg, kindly, "don't let us make things too
8621 dark. What's done can't be undone. We shall make a shift among us to
8622 buy what's sufficient for you; though, as Mrs. G. says, they must be
8623 useful, plain things. We mustn't be thinking o' what's unnecessary. A
8624 table, and a chair or two, and kitchen things, and a good bed, and
8625 such-like. Why, I've seen the day when I shouldn't ha' known myself if
8626 I'd lain on sacking i'stead o' the floor. We get a deal o' useless
8627 things about us, only because we've got the money to spend."
8628
8629 "Mr. Glegg," said Mrs. G., "if you'll be kind enough to let me speak,
8630 i'stead o' taking the words out o' my mouth,--I was going to say,
8631 Bessy, as it's fine talking for you to say as you've never asked us to
8632 buy anything for you; let me tell you, you _ought_ to have asked us.
8633 Pray, how are you to be purvided for, if your own family don't help
8634 you? You must go to the parish, if they didn't. And you ought to know
8635 that, and keep it in mind, and ask us humble to do what we can for
8636 you, i'stead o' saying, and making a boast, as you've never asked us
8637 for anything."
8638
8639 "You talked o' the Mosses, and what Mr. Tulliver's done for 'em," said
8640 uncle Pullet, who became unusually suggestive where advances of money
8641 were concerned. "Haven't _they_ been anear you? They ought to do
8642 something as well as other folks; and if he's lent 'em money, they
8643 ought to be made to pay it back."
8644
8645 "Yes, to be sure," said Mrs. Deane; "I've been thinking so. How is it
8646 Mr. and Mrs. Moss aren't here to meet us? It is but right they should
8647 do their share."
8648
8649 "Oh, dear!" said Mrs. Tulliver, "I never sent 'em word about Mr.
8650 Tulliver, and they live so back'ard among the lanes at Basset, they
8651 niver hear anything only when Mr. Moss comes to market. But I niver
8652 gave 'em a thought. I wonder Maggie didn't, though, for she was allays
8653 so fond of her aunt Moss."
8654
8655 "Why don't your children come in, Bessy?" said Mrs. Pullet, at the
8656 mention of Maggie. "They should hear what their aunts and uncles have
8657 got to say; and Maggie,--when it's me as have paid for half her
8658 schooling, she ought to think more of her aunt Pullet than of aunt
8659 Moss. I may go off sudden when I get home to-day; there's no telling."
8660
8661 "If I'd had _my_ way," said Mrs. Glegg, "the children 'ud ha' been in
8662 the room from the first. It's time they knew who they've to look to,
8663 and it's right as _somebody_ should talk to 'em, and let 'em know
8664 their condition i' life, and what they're come down to, and make 'em
8665 feel as they've got to suffer for their father's faults."
8666
8667 "Well, I'll go and fetch 'em, sister," said Mrs. Tulliver, resignedly.
8668 She was quite crushed now, and thought of the treasures in the
8669 storeroom with no other feeling than blank despair.
8670
8671 She went upstairs to fetch Tom and Maggie, who were both in their
8672 father's room, and was on her way down again, when the sight of the
8673 storeroom door suggested a new thought to her. She went toward it, and
8674 left the children to go down by themselves.
8675
8676 The aunts and uncles appeared to have been in warm discussion when the
8677 brother and sister entered,--both with shrinking reluctance; for
8678 though Tom, with a practical sagacity which had been roused into
8679 activity by the strong stimulus of the new emotions he had undergone
8680 since yesterday, had been turning over in his mind a plan which he
8681 meant to propose to one of his aunts or uncles, he felt by no means
8682 amicably toward them, and dreaded meeting them all at once as he would
8683 have dreaded a large dose of concentrated physic, which was but just
8684 endurable in small draughts. As for Maggie, she was peculiarly
8685 depressed this morning; she had been called up, after brief rest, at
8686 three o'clock, and had that strange dreamy weariness which comes from
8687 watching in a sick-room through the chill hours of early twilight and
8688 breaking day,--in which the outside day-light life seems to have no
8689 importance, and to be a mere margin to the hours in the darkened
8690 chamber. Their entrance interrupted the conversation. The shaking of
8691 hands was a melancholy and silent ceremony, till uncle Pullet
8692 observed, as Tom approached him:
8693
8694 "Well, young sir, we've been talking as we should want your pen and
8695 ink; you can write rarely now, after all your schooling, I should
8696 think."
8697
8698 "Ay, ay," said uncle Glegg, with admonition which he meant to be kind,
8699 "we must look to see the good of all this schooling, as your father's
8700 sunk so much money in, now,--
8701
8702 'When land is gone and money's spent,
8703 Then learning is most excellent.'
8704
8705 Now's the time, Tom, to let us see the good o' your learning. Let us
8706 see whether you can do better than I can, as have made my fortin
8707 without it. But I began wi' doing with little, you see; I could live
8708 on a basin o' porridge and a crust o' bread-and-cheese. But I doubt
8709 high living and high learning 'ull make it harder for you, young man,
8710 nor it was for me."
8711
8712 "But he must do it," interposed aunt Glegg, energetically, "whether
8713 it's hard or no. He hasn't got to consider what's hard; he must
8714 consider as he isn't to trusten to his friends to keep him in idleness
8715 and luxury; he's got to bear the fruits of his father's misconduct,
8716 and bring his mind to fare hard and to work hard. And he must be
8717 humble and grateful to his aunts and uncles for what they're doing for
8718 his mother and father, as must be turned out into the streets and go
8719 to the workhouse if they didn't help 'em. And his sister, too,"
8720 continued Mrs. Glegg, looking severely at Maggie, who had sat down on
8721 the sofa by her aunt Deane, drawn to her by the sense that she was
8722 Lucy's mother, "she must make up her mind to be humble and work; for
8723 there'll be no servants to wait on her any more,--she must remember
8724 that. She must do the work o' the house, and she must respect and love
8725 her aunts as have done so much for her, and saved their money to leave
8726 to their nepheys and nieces."
8727
8728 Tom was still standing before the table in the centre of the group.
8729 There was a heightened color in his face, and he was very far from
8730 looking humbled, but he was preparing to say, in a respectful tone,
8731 something he had previously meditated, when the door opened and his
8732 mother re-entered.
8733
8734 Poor Mrs. Tulliver had in her hands a small tray, on which she had
8735 placed her silver teapot, a specimen teacup and saucer, the castors,
8736 and sugar-tongs.
8737
8738 "See here, sister," she said, looking at Mrs. Deane, as she set the
8739 tray on the table, "I thought, perhaps, if you looked at the teapot
8740 again,--it's a good while since you saw it,--you might like the
8741 pattern better; it makes beautiful tea, and there's a stand and
8742 everything; you might use it for every day, or else lay it by for Lucy
8743 when she goes to housekeeping. I should be so loath for 'em to buy it
8744 at the Golden Lion," said the poor woman, her heart swelling, and the
8745 tears coming,--"my teapot as I bought when I was married, and to think
8746 of its being scratched, and set before the travellers and folks, and
8747 my letters on it,--see here, E. D.,--and everybody to see 'em."
8748
8749 "Ah, dear, dear!" said aunt Pullet, shaking her head with deep
8750 sadness, "it's very bad,--to think o' the family initials going about
8751 everywhere--it niver was so before; you're a very unlucky sister,
8752 Bessy. But what's the use o' buying the teapot, when there's the linen
8753 and spoons and everything to go, and some of 'em with your full
8754 name,--and when it's got that straight spout, too."
8755
8756 "As to disgrace o' the family," said Mrs. Glegg, "that can't be helped
8757 wi' buying teapots. The disgrace is, for one o' the family to ha'
8758 married a man as has brought her to beggary. The disgrace is, as
8759 they're to be sold up. We can't hinder the country from knowing that."
8760
8761 Maggie had started up from the sofa at the allusion to her father, but
8762 Tom saw her action and flushed face in time to prevent her from
8763 speaking. "Be quiet, Maggie," he said authoritatively, pushing her
8764 aside. It was a remarkable manifestation of self-command and practical
8765 judgment in a lad of fifteen, that when his aunt Glegg ceased, he
8766 began to speak in a quiet and respectful manner, though with a good
8767 deal of trembling in his voice; for his mother's words had cut him to
8768 the quick.
8769
8770 "Then, aunt," he said, looking straight at Mrs. Glegg, "if you think
8771 it's a disgrace to the family that we should be sold up, wouldn't it
8772 be better to prevent it altogether? And if you and aunt Pullet," he
8773 continued, looking at the latter, "think of leaving any money to me
8774 and Maggie, wouldn't it be better to give it now, and pay the debt
8775 we're going to be sold up for, and save my mother from parting with
8776 her furniture?"
8777
8778 There was silence for a few moments, for every one, including Maggie,
8779 was astonished at Tom's sudden manliness of tone. Uncle Glegg was the
8780 first to speak.
8781
8782 "Ay, ay, young man, come now! You show some notion o' things. But
8783 there's the interest, you must remember; your aunts get five per cent
8784 on their money, and they'd lose that if they advanced it; you haven't
8785 thought o' that."
8786
8787 "I could work and pay that every year," said Tom, promptly. "I'd do
8788 anything to save my mother from parting with her things."
8789
8790 "Well done!" said uncle Glegg, admiringly. He had been drawing Tom
8791 out, rather than reflecting on the practicability of his proposal. But
8792 he had produced the unfortunate result of irritating his wife.
8793
8794 "Yes, Mr. Glegg!" said that lady, with angry sarcasm. "It's pleasant
8795 work for you to be giving my money away, as you've pretended to leave
8796 at my own disposal. And my money, as was my own father's gift, and not
8797 yours, Mr. Glegg; and I've saved it, and added to it myself, and had
8798 more to put out almost every year, and it's to go and be sunk in other
8799 folks' furniture, and encourage 'em in luxury and extravagance as
8800 they've no means of supporting; and I'm to alter my will, or have a
8801 codicil made, and leave two or three hundred less behind me when I
8802 die,--me as have allays done right and been careful, and the eldest o'
8803 the family; and my money's to go and be squandered on them as have had
8804 the same chance as me, only they've been wicked and wasteful. Sister
8805 Pullet, _you_ may do as you like, and you may let your husband rob you
8806 back again o' the money he's given you, but that isn't _my_ sperrit."
8807
8808 "La, Jane, how fiery you are!" said Mrs. Pullet. "I'm sure you'll have
8809 the blood in your head, and have to be cupped. I'm sorry for Bessy and
8810 her children,--I'm sure I think of 'em o' nights dreadful, for I sleep
8811 very bad wi' this new medicine,--but it's no use for me to think o'
8812 doing anything, if you won't meet me half-way."
8813
8814 "Why, there's this to be considered," said Mr. Glegg. "It's no use to
8815 pay off this debt and save the furniture, when there's all the law
8816 debts behind, as 'ud take every shilling, and more than could be made
8817 out o' land and stock, for I've made that out from Lawyer Gore. We'd
8818 need save our money to keep the poor man with, instead o' spending it
8819 on furniture as he can neither eat nor drink. You _will_ be so hasty,
8820 Jane, as if I didn't know what was reasonable."
8821
8822 "Then speak accordingly, Mr. Glegg!" said his wife, with slow, loud
8823 emphasis, bending her head toward him significantly.
8824
8825 Tom's countenance had fallen during this conversation, and his lip
8826 quivered; but he was determined not to give way. He would behave like
8827 a man. Maggie, on the contrary, after her momentary delight in Tom's
8828 speech, had relapsed into her state of trembling indignation. Her
8829 mother had been standing close by Tom's side, and had been clinging to
8830 his arm ever since he had last spoken; Maggie suddenly started up and
8831 stood in front of them, her eyes flashing like the eyes of a young
8832 lioness.
8833
8834 "Why do you come, then," she burst out, "talking and interfering with
8835 us and scolding us, if you don't mean to do anything to help my poor
8836 mother--your own sister,--if you've no feeling for her when she's in
8837 trouble, and won't part with anything, though you would never miss it,
8838 to save her from pain? Keep away from us then, and don't come to find
8839 fault with my father,--he was better than any of you; he was kind,--he
8840 would have helped _you_, if you had been in trouble. Tom and I don't
8841 ever want to have any of your money, if you won't help my mother. We'd
8842 rather not have it! We'll do without you."
8843
8844 Maggie, having hurled her defiance at aunts and uncles in this way,
8845 stood still, with her large dark eyes glaring at them, as if she were
8846 ready to await all consequences.
8847
8848 Mrs. Tulliver was frightened; there was something portentous in this
8849 mad outbreak; she did not see how life could go on after it. Tom was
8850 vexed; it was no _use_ to talk so. The aunts were silent with surprise
8851 for some moments. At length, in a case of aberration such as this,
8852 comment presented itself as more expedient than any answer.
8853
8854 "You haven't seen the end o' your trouble wi' that child, Bessy," said
8855 Mrs. Pullet; "she's beyond everything for boldness and unthankfulness.
8856 It's dreadful. I might ha' let alone paying for her schooling, for
8857 she's worse nor ever."
8858
8859 "It's no more than what I've allays said," followed Mrs. Glegg. "Other
8860 folks may be surprised, but I'm not. I've said over and over
8861 again,--years ago I've said,--'Mark my words; that child 'ull come to
8862 no good; there isn't a bit of our family in her.' And as for her
8863 having so much schooling, I never thought well o' that. I'd my reasons
8864 when I said _I_ wouldn't pay anything toward it."
8865
8866 "Come, come," said Mr. Glegg, "let's waste no more time in
8867 talking,--let's go to business. Tom, now, get the pen and ink----"
8868
8869 While Mr. Glegg was speaking, a tall dark figure was seen hurrying
8870 past the window.
8871
8872 "Why, there's Mrs. Moss," said Mrs. Tulliver. "The bad news must ha'
8873 reached her, then"; and she went out to open the door, Maggie eagerly
8874 following her.
8875
8876 "That's fortunate," said Mrs. Glegg. "She can agree to the list o'
8877 things to be bought in. It's but right she should do her share when
8878 it's her own brother."
8879
8880 Mrs. Moss was in too much agitation to resist Mrs. Tulliver's
8881 movement, as she drew her into the parlor automatically, without
8882 reflecting that it was hardly kind to take her among so many persons
8883 in the first painful moment of arrival. The tall, worn, dark-haired
8884 woman was a strong contrast to the Dodson sisters as she entered in
8885 her shabby dress, with her shawl and bonnet looking as if they had
8886 been hastily huddled on, and with that entire absence of
8887 self-consciousness which belongs to keenly felt trouble. Maggie was
8888 clinging to her arm; and Mrs. Moss seemed to notice no one else except
8889 Tom, whom she went straight up to and took by the hand.
8890
8891 "Oh, my dear children," she burst out, "you've no call to think well
8892 o' me; I'm a poor aunt to you, for I'm one o' them as take all and
8893 give nothing. How's my poor brother?"
8894
8895 "Mr. Turnbull thinks he'll get better," said Maggie. "Sit down, aunt
8896 Gritty. Don't fret."
8897
8898 "Oh, my sweet child, I feel torn i' two," said Mrs. Moss, allowing
8899 Maggie to lead her to the sofa, but still not seeming to notice the
8900 presence of the rest. "We've three hundred pounds o' my brother's
8901 money, and now he wants it, and you all want it, poor things!--and yet
8902 we must be sold up to pay it, and there's my poor children,--eight of
8903 'em, and the little un of all can't speak plain. And I feel as if I
8904 was a robber. But I'm sure I'd no thought as my brother----"
8905
8906 The poor woman was interrupted by a rising sob.
8907
8908 "Three hundred pounds! oh dear, dear," said Mrs. Tulliver, who, when
8909 she had said that her husband had done "unknown" things for his
8910 sister, had not had any particular sum in her mind, and felt a wife's
8911 irritation at having been kept in the dark.
8912
8913 "What madness, to be sure!" said Mrs. Glegg. "A man with a family!
8914 He'd no right to lend his money i' that way; and without security,
8915 I'll be bound, if the truth was known."
8916
8917 Mrs. Glegg's voice had arrested Mrs. Moss's attention, and looking up,
8918 she said:
8919
8920 "Yes, there _was_ security; my husband gave a note for it. We're not
8921 that sort o' people, neither of us, as 'ud rob my brother's children;
8922 and we looked to paying back the money, when the times got a bit
8923 better."
8924
8925 "Well, but now," said Mr. Glegg, gently, "hasn't your husband no way
8926 o' raising this money? Because it 'ud be a little fortin, like, for
8927 these folks, if we can do without Tulliver's being made a bankrupt.
8928 Your husband's got stock; it is but right he should raise the money,
8929 as it seems to me,--not but what I'm sorry for you, Mrs. Moss."
8930
8931 "Oh, sir, you don't know what bad luck my husband's had with his
8932 stock. The farm's suffering so as never was for want o' stock; and
8933 we've sold all the wheat, and we're behind with our rent,--not but
8934 what we'd like to do what's right, and I'd sit up and work half the
8935 night, if it 'ud be any good; but there's them poor children,--four of
8936 'em such little uns----"
8937
8938 "Don't cry so, aunt; don't fret," whispered Maggie, who had kept hold
8939 of Mrs. Moss's hand.
8940
8941 "Did Mr. Tulliver let you have the money all at once?" said Mrs.
8942 Tulliver, still lost in the conception of things which had been "going
8943 on" without her knowledge.
8944
8945 "No; at twice," said Mrs. Moss, rubbing her eyes and making an effort
8946 to restrain her tears. "The last was after my bad illness four years
8947 ago, as everything went wrong, and there was a new note made then.
8948 What with illness and bad luck, I've been nothing but cumber all my
8949 life."
8950
8951 "Yes, Mrs. Moss," said Mrs. Glegg, with decision, "yours is a very
8952 unlucky family; the more's the pity for _my_ sister."
8953
8954 "I set off in the cart as soon as ever I heard o' what had happened,"
8955 said Mrs. Moss, looking at Mrs. Tulliver. "I should never ha' stayed
8956 away all this while, if you'd thought well to let me know. And it
8957 isn't as I'm thinking all about ourselves, and nothing about my
8958 brother, only the money was so on my mind, I couldn't help speaking
8959 about it. And my husband and me desire to do the right thing, sir,"
8960 she added, looking at Mr. Glegg, "and we'll make shift and pay the
8961 money, come what will, if that's all my brother's got to trust to.
8962 We've been used to trouble, and don't look for much else. It's only
8963 the thought o' my poor children pulls me i' two."
8964
8965 "Why, there's this to be thought on, Mrs. Moss," said Mr. Glegg, "and
8966 it's right to warn you,--if Tulliver's made a bankrupt, and he's got a
8967 note-of-hand of your husband's for three hundred pounds, you'll be
8968 obliged to pay it; th' assignees 'ull come on you for it."
8969
8970 "Oh dear, oh dear!" said Mrs. Tulliver, thinking of the bankruptcy,
8971 and not of Mrs. Moss's concern in it. Poor Mrs. Moss herself listened
8972 in trembling submission, while Maggie looked with bewildered distress
8973 at Tom to see if _he_ showed any signs of understanding this trouble,
8974 and caring about poor aunt Moss. Tom was only looking thoughtful, with
8975 his eyes on the tablecloth.
8976
8977 "And if he isn't made bankrupt," continued Mr. Glegg, "as I said
8978 before, three hundred pounds 'ud be a little fortin for him, poor man.
8979 We don't know but what he may be partly helpless, if he ever gets up
8980 again. I'm very sorry if it goes hard with you, Mrs. Moss, but my
8981 opinion is, looking at it one way, it'll be right for you to raise the
8982 money; and looking at it th' other way, you'll be obliged to pay it.
8983 You won't think ill o' me for speaking the truth."
8984
8985 "Uncle," said Tom, looking up suddenly from his meditative view of the
8986 tablecloth, "I don't think it would be right for my aunt Moss to pay
8987 the money if it would be against my father's will for her to pay it;
8988 would it?"
8989
8990 Mr. Glegg looked surprised for a moment or two before he said: "Why,
8991 no, perhaps not, Tom; but then he'd ha' destroyed the note, you know.
8992 We must look for the note. What makes you think it 'ud be against his
8993 will?"
8994
8995 "Why," said Tom, coloring, but trying to speak firmly, in spite of a
8996 boyish tremor, "I remember quite well, before I went to school to Mr.
8997 Stelling, my father said to me one night, when we were sitting by the
8998 fire together, and no one else was in the room----"
8999
9000 Tom hesitated a little, and then went on.
9001
9002 "He said something to me about Maggie, and then he said: 'I've always
9003 been good to my sister, though she married against my will, and I've
9004 lent Moss money; but I shall never think of distressing him to pay it;
9005 I'd rather lose it. My children must not mind being the poorer for
9006 that.' And now my father's ill, and not able to speak for himself, I
9007 shouldn't like anything to be done contrary to what he said to me."
9008
9009 "Well, but then, my boy," said Uncle Glegg, whose good feeling led him
9010 to enter into Tom's wish, but who could not at once shake off his
9011 habitual abhorrence of such recklessness as destroying securities, or
9012 alienating anything important enough to make an appreciable difference
9013 in a man's property, "we should have to make away wi' the note, you
9014 know, if we're to guard against what may happen, supposing your
9015 father's made bankrupt----"
9016
9017 "Mr. Glegg," interrupted his wife, severely, "mind what you're saying.
9018 You're putting yourself very forrard in other folks's business. If you
9019 speak rash, don't say it was my fault."
9020
9021 "That's such a thing as I never heared of before," said uncle Pullet,
9022 who had been making haste with his lozenge in order to express his
9023 amazement,--"making away with a note! I should think anybody could set
9024 the constable on you for it."
9025
9026 "Well, but," said Mrs. Tulliver, "if the note's worth all that money,
9027 why can't we pay it away, and save my things from going away? We've no
9028 call to meddle with your uncle and aunt Moss, Tom, if you think your
9029 father 'ud be angry when he gets well."
9030
9031 Mrs. Tulliver had not studied the question of exchange, and was
9032 straining her mind after original ideas on the subject.
9033
9034 "Pooh, pooh, pooh! you women don't understand these things," said
9035 uncle Glegg. "There's no way o' making it safe for Mr. and Mrs. Moss
9036 but destroying the note."
9037
9038 "Then I hope you'll help me do it, uncle," said Tom, earnestly. "If my
9039 father shouldn't get well, I should be very unhappy to think anything
9040 had been done against his will that I could hinder. And I'm sure he
9041 meant me to remember what he said that evening. I ought to obey my
9042 father's wish about his property."
9043
9044 Even Mrs. Glegg could not withhold her approval from Tom's words; she
9045 felt that the Dodson blood was certainly speaking in him, though, if
9046 his father had been a Dodson, there would never have been this wicked
9047 alienation of money. Maggie would hardly have restrained herself from
9048 leaping on Tom's neck, if her aunt Moss had not prevented her by
9049 herself rising and taking Tom's hand, while she said, with rather a
9050 choked voice:
9051
9052 "You'll never be the poorer for this, my dear boy, if there's a God
9053 above; and if the money's wanted for your father, Moss and me 'ull pay
9054 it, the same as if there was ever such security. We'll do as we'd be
9055 done by; for if my children have got no other luck, they've got an
9056 honest father and mother."
9057
9058 "Well," said Mr. Glegg, who had been meditating after Tom's words, "we
9059 shouldn't be doing any wrong by the creditors, supposing your father
9060 _was_ bankrupt. I've been thinking o' that, for I've been a creditor
9061 myself, and seen no end o' cheating. If he meant to give your aunt the
9062 money before ever he got into this sad work o' lawing, it's the same
9063 as if he'd made away with the note himself; for he'd made up his mind
9064 to be that much poorer. But there's a deal o' things to be considered,
9065 young man," Mr. Glegg added, looking admonishingly at Tom, "when you
9066 come to money business, and you may be taking one man's dinner away to
9067 make another man's breakfast. You don't understand that, I doubt?"
9068
9069 "Yes, I do," said Tom, decidedly. "I know if I owe money to one man,
9070 I've no right to give it to another. But if my father had made up his
9071 mind to give my aunt the money before he was in debt, he had a right
9072 to do it."
9073
9074 "Well done, young man! I didn't think you'd been so sharp," said uncle
9075 Glegg, with much candor. "But perhaps your father _did_ make away with
9076 the note. Let us go and see if we can find it in the chest."
9077
9078 "It's in my father's room. Let us go too, aunt Gritty," whispered
9079 Maggie.
9080
9081
9082
9083 Chapter IV
9084
9085 A Vanishing Gleam
9086
9087
9088 Mr. Tulliver, even between the fits of spasmodic rigidity which had
9089 recurred at intervals ever since he had been found fallen from his
9090 horse, was usually in so apathetic a condition that the exits and
9091 entrances into his room were not felt to be of great importance. He
9092 had lain so still, with his eyes closed, all this morning, that Maggie
9093 told her aunt Moss she must not expect her father to take any notice
9094 of them.
9095
9096 They entered very quietly, and Mrs. Moss took her seat near the head
9097 of the bed, while Maggie sat in her old place on the bed, and put her
9098 hand on her father's without causing any change in his face.
9099
9100 Mr. Glegg and Tom had also entered, treading softly, and were busy
9101 selecting the key of the old oak chest from the bunch which Tom had
9102 brought from his father's bureau. They succeeded in opening the
9103 chest,--which stood opposite the foot of Mr. Tulliver's bed,--and
9104 propping the lid with the iron holder, without much noise.
9105
9106 "There's a tin box," whispered Mr. Glegg; "he'd most like put a small
9107 thing like a note in there. Lift it out, Tom; but I'll just lift up
9108 these deeds,--they're the deeds o' the house and mill, I suppose,--and
9109 see what there is under 'em."
9110
9111 Mr. Glegg had lifted out the parchments, and had fortunately drawn
9112 back a little, when the iron holder gave way, and the heavy lid fell
9113 with a loud bang that resounded over the house.
9114
9115 Perhaps there was something in that sound more than the mere fact of
9116 the strong vibration that produced the instantaneous effect on the
9117 frame of the prostrate man, and for the time completely shook off the
9118 obstruction of paralysis. The chest had belonged to his father and his
9119 father's father, and it had always been rather a solemn business to
9120 visit it. All long-known objects, even a mere window fastening or a
9121 particular door-latch, have sounds which are a sort of recognized
9122 voice to us,--a voice that will thrill and awaken, when it has been
9123 used to touch deep-lying fibres. In the same moment, when all the eyes
9124 in the room were turned upon him, he started up and looked at the
9125 chest, the parchments in Mr. Glegg's hand, and Tom holding the tin
9126 box, with a glance of perfect consciousness and recognition.
9127
9128 "What are you going to do with those deeds?" he said, in his ordinary
9129 tone of sharp questioning whenever he was irritated. "Come here, Tom.
9130 What do you do, going to my chest?"
9131
9132 Tom obeyed, with some trembling; it was the first time his father had
9133 recognized him. But instead of saying anything more to him, his father
9134 continued to look with a growing distinctness of suspicion at Mr.
9135 Glegg and the deeds.
9136
9137 "What's been happening, then?" he said sharply. "What are you meddling
9138 with my deeds for? Is Wakem laying hold of everything? Why don't you
9139 tell me what you've been a-doing?" he added impatiently, as Mr. Glegg
9140 advanced to the foot of the bed before speaking.
9141
9142 "No, no, friend Tulliver," said Mr. Glegg, in a soothing tone.
9143 "Nobody's getting hold of anything as yet. We only came to look and
9144 see what was in the chest. You've been ill, you know, and we've had to
9145 look after things a bit. But let's hope you'll soon be well enough to
9146 attend to everything yourself."
9147
9148 Mr. Tulliver looked around him meditatively, at Tom, at Mr. Glegg, and
9149 at Maggie; then suddenly appearing aware that some one was seated by
9150 his side at the head of the bed he turned sharply round and saw his
9151 sister.
9152
9153 "Eh, Gritty!" he said, in the half-sad, affectionate tone in which he
9154 had been wont to speak to her. "What! you're there, are you? How could
9155 you manage to leave the children?"
9156
9157 "Oh, brother!" said good Mrs. Moss, too impulsive to be prudent, "I'm
9158 thankful I'm come now to see you yourself again; I thought you'd never
9159 know us any more."
9160
9161 "What! have I had a stroke?" said Mr. Tulliver, anxiously, looking at
9162 Mr. Glegg.
9163
9164 "A fall from your horse--shook you a bit,--that's all, I think," said
9165 Mr. Glegg. "But you'll soon get over it, let's hope."
9166
9167 Mr. Tulliver fixed his eyes on the bed-clothes, and remained silent
9168 for two or three minutes. A new shadow came over his face. He looked
9169 up at Maggie first, and said in a lower tone, "You got the letter,
9170 then, my wench?"
9171
9172 "Yes, father," she said, kissing him with a full heart. She felt as if
9173 her father were come back to her from the dead, and her yearning to
9174 show him how she had always loved him could be fulfilled.
9175
9176 "Where's your mother?" he said, so preoccupied that he received the
9177 kiss as passively as some quiet animal might have received it.
9178
9179 "She's downstairs with my aunts, father. Shall I fetch her?"
9180
9181 "Ay, ay; poor Bessy!" and his eyes turned toward Tom as Maggie left
9182 the room.
9183
9184 "You'll have to take care of 'em both if I die, you know, Tom. You'll
9185 be badly off, I doubt. But you must see and pay everybody. And
9186 mind,--there's fifty pound o' Luke's as I put into the business,--he
9187 gave me a bit at a time, and he's got nothing to show for it. You must
9188 pay him first thing."
9189
9190 Uncle Glegg involuntarily shook his head, and looked more concerned
9191 than ever, but Tom said firmly:
9192
9193 "Yes, father. And haven't you a note from my uncle Moss for three
9194 hundred pounds? We came to look for that. What do you wish to be done
9195 about it, father?"
9196
9197 "Ah! I'm glad you thought o' that, my lad," said Mr. Tulliver. "I
9198 allays meant to be easy about that money, because o' your aunt. You
9199 mustn't mind losing the money, if they can't pay it,--and it's like
9200 enough they can't. The note's in that box, mind! I allays meant to be
9201 good to you, Gritty," said Mr. Tulliver, turning to his sister; "but
9202 you know you aggravated me when you would have Moss."
9203
9204 At this moment Maggie re-entered with her mother, who came in much
9205 agitated by the news that her husband was quite himself again.
9206
9207 "Well, Bessy," he said, as she kissed him, "you must forgive me if
9208 you're worse off than you ever expected to be. But it's the fault o'
9209 the law,--it's none o' mine," he added angrily. "It's the fault o'
9210 raskills. Tom, you mind this: if ever you've got the chance, you make
9211 Wakem smart. If you don't, you're a good-for-nothing son. You might
9212 horse-whip him, but he'd set the law on you,--the law's made to take
9213 care o' raskills."
9214
9215 Mr. Tulliver was getting excited, and an alarming flush was on his
9216 face. Mr. Glegg wanted to say something soothing, but he was prevented
9217 by Mr. Tulliver's speaking again to his wife. "They'll make a shift to
9218 pay everything, Bessy," he said, "and yet leave you your furniture;
9219 and your sisters'll do something for you--and Tom'll grow up--though
9220 what he's to be I don't know--I've done what I could--I've given him a
9221 eddication--and there's the little wench, she'll get married--but it's
9222 a poor tale----"
9223
9224 The sanative effect of the strong vibration was exhausted, and with
9225 the last words the poor man fell again, rigid and insensible. Though
9226 this was only a recurrence of what had happened before, it struck all
9227 present as if it had been death, not only from its contrast with the
9228 completeness of the revival, but because his words had all had
9229 reference to the possibility that his death was near. But with poor
9230 Tulliver death was not to be a leap; it was to be a long descent under
9231 thickening shadows.
9232
9233 Mr. Turnbull was sent for; but when he heard what had passed, he said
9234 this complete restoration, though only temporary, was a hopeful sign,
9235 proving that there was no permanent lesion to prevent ultimate
9236 recovery.
9237
9238 Among the threads of the past which the stricken man had gathered up,
9239 he had omitted the bill of sale; the flash of memory had only lit up
9240 prominent ideas, and he sank into forgetfulness again with half his
9241 humiliation unlearned.
9242
9243 But Tom was clear upon two points,--that his uncle Moss's note must be
9244 destroyed; and that Luke's money must be paid, if in no other way, out
9245 of his own and Maggie's money now in the savings bank. There were
9246 subjects, you perceive, on which Tom was much quicker than on the
9247 niceties of classical construction, or the relations of a mathematical
9248 demonstration.
9249
9250
9251
9252 Chapter V
9253
9254 Tom Applies His Knife to the Oyster
9255
9256
9257 The next day, at ten o'clock, Tom was on his way to St. Ogg's, to see
9258 his uncle Deane, who was to come home last night, his aunt had said;
9259 and Tom had made up his mind that his uncle Deane was the right person
9260 to ask for advice about getting some employment. He was in a great way
9261 of business; he had not the narrow notions of uncle Glegg; and he had
9262 risen in the world on a scale of advancement which accorded with Tom's
9263 ambition.
9264
9265 It was a dark, chill, misty morning, likely to end in rain,--one of
9266 those mornings when even happy people take refuge in their hopes. And
9267 Tom was very unhappy; he felt the humiliation as well as the
9268 prospective hardships of his lot with all the keenness of a proud
9269 nature; and with all his resolute dutifulness toward his father there
9270 mingled an irrepressible indignation against him which gave misfortune
9271 the less endurable aspect of a wrong. Since these were the
9272 consequences of going to law, his father was really blamable, as his
9273 aunts and uncles had always said he was; and it was a significant
9274 indication of Tom's character, that though he thought his aunts ought
9275 to do something more for his mother, he felt nothing like Maggie's
9276 violent resentment against them for showing no eager tenderness and
9277 generosity. There were no impulses in Tom that led him to expect what
9278 did not present itself to him as a right to be demanded. Why should
9279 people give away their money plentifully to those who had not taken
9280 care of their own money? Tom saw some justice in severity; and all the
9281 more, because he had confidence in himself that he should never
9282 deserve that just severity. It was very hard upon him that he should
9283 be put at this disadvantage in life by his father's want of prudence;
9284 but he was not going to complain and to find fault with people because
9285 they did not make everything easy for him. He would ask no one to help
9286 him, more than to give him work and pay him for it. Poor Tom was not
9287 without his hopes to take refuge in under the chill damp imprisonment
9288 of the December fog, which seemed only like a part of his home
9289 troubles. At sixteen, the mind that has the strongest affinity for
9290 fact cannot escape illusion and self-flattery; and Tom, in sketching
9291 his future, had no other guide in arranging his facts than the
9292 suggestions of his own brave self-reliance. Both Mr. Glegg and Mr.
9293 Deane, he knew, had been very poor once; he did not want to save money
9294 slowly and retire on a moderate fortune like his uncle Glegg, but he
9295 would be like his uncle Deane--get a situation in some great house of
9296 business and rise fast. He had scarcely seen anything of his uncle
9297 Deane for the last three years--the two families had been getting
9298 wider apart; but for this very reason Tom was the more hopeful about
9299 applying to him. His uncle Glegg, he felt sure, would never encourage
9300 any spirited project, but he had a vague imposing idea of the
9301 resources at his uncle Deane's command. He had heard his father say,
9302 long ago, how Deane had made himself so valuable to Guest & Co. that
9303 they were glad enough to offer him a share in the business; that was
9304 what Tom resolved _he_ would do. It was intolerable to think of being
9305 poor and looked down upon all one's life. He would provide for his
9306 mother and sister, and make every one say that he was a man of high
9307 character. He leaped over the years in this way, and, in the haste of
9308 strong purpose and strong desire, did not see how they would be made
9309 up of slow days, hours, and minutes.
9310
9311 By the time he had crossed the stone bridge over the Floss and was
9312 entering St. Ogg's, he was thinking that he would buy his father's
9313 mill and land again when he was rich enough, and improve the house and
9314 live there; he should prefer it to any smarter, newer place, and he
9315 could keep as many horses and dogs as he liked.
9316
9317 Walking along the street with a firm, rapid step, at this point in his
9318 reverie he was startled by some one who had crossed without his
9319 notice, and who said to him in a rough, familiar voice:
9320
9321 "Why, Master Tom, how's your father this morning?" It was a publican
9322 of St. Ogg's, one of his father's customers.
9323
9324 Tom disliked being spoken to just then; but he said civilly, "He's
9325 still very ill, thank you."
9326
9327 "Ay, it's been a sore chance for you, young man, hasn't it,--this
9328 lawsuit turning out against him?" said the publican, with a confused,
9329 beery idea of being good-natured.
9330
9331 Tom reddened and passed on; he would have felt it like the handling of
9332 a bruise, even if there had been the most polite and delicate
9333 reference to his position.
9334
9335 "That's Tulliver's son," said the publican to a grocer standing on the
9336 adjacent door-step.
9337
9338 "Ah!" said the grocer, "I thought I knew his features. He takes after
9339 his mother's family; she was a Dodson. He's a fine, straight youth;
9340 what's he been brought up to?"
9341
9342 "Oh! to turn up his nose at his father's customers, and be a fine
9343 gentleman,--not much else, I think."
9344
9345 Tom, roused from his dream of the future to a thorough consciousness
9346 of the present, made all the greater haste to reach the warehouse
9347 offices of Guest & Co., where he expected to find his uncle Deane. But
9348 this was Mr. Deane's morning at the band, a clerk told him, and with
9349 some contempt for his ignorance; Mr. Deane was not to be found in
9350 River Street on a Thursday morning.
9351
9352 At the bank Tom was admitted into the private room where his uncle
9353 was, immediately after sending in his name. Mr. Deane was auditing
9354 accounts; but he looked up as Tom entered, and putting out his hand,
9355 said, "Well, Tom, nothing fresh the matter at home, I hope? How's your
9356 father?"
9357
9358 "Much the same, thank you, uncle," said Tom, feeling nervous. "But I
9359 want to speak to you, please, when you're at liberty."
9360
9361 "Sit down, sit down," said Mr. Deane, relapsing into his accounts, in
9362 which he and the managing-clerk remained so absorbed for the next
9363 half-hour that Tom began to wonder whether he should have to sit in
9364 this way till the bank closed,--there seemed so little tendency toward
9365 a conclusion in the quiet, monotonous procedure of these sleek,
9366 prosperous men of business. Would his uncle give him a place in the
9367 bank? It would be very dull, prosy work, he thought, writing there
9368 forever to the loud ticking of a timepiece. He preferred some other
9369 way of getting rich. But at last there was a change; his uncle took a
9370 pen and wrote something with a flourish at the end.
9371
9372 "You'll just step up to Torry's now, Mr. Spence, will you?" said Mr.
9373 Deane, and the clock suddenly became less loud and deliberate in Tom's
9374 ears.
9375
9376 "Well, Tom," said Mr. Deane, when they were alone, turning his
9377 substantial person a little in his chair, and taking out his
9378 snuff-box; "what's the business, my boy; what's the business?" Mr.
9379 Deane, who had heard from his wife what had passed the day before,
9380 thought Tom was come to appeal to him for some means of averting the
9381 sale.
9382
9383 "I hope you'll excuse me for troubling you, uncle," said Tom,
9384 coloring, but speaking in a tone which, though, tremulous, had a
9385 certain proud independence in it; "but I thought you were the best
9386 person to advise me what to do."
9387
9388 "Ah!" said Mr. Deane, reserving his pinch of snuff, and looking at Tom
9389 with new attention, "let us hear."
9390
9391 "I want to get a situation, uncle, so that I may earn some money,"
9392 said Tom, who never fell into circumlocution.
9393
9394 "A situation?" said Mr. Deane, and then took his pinch of snuff with
9395 elaborate justice to each nostril. Tom thought snuff-taking a most
9396 provoking habit.
9397
9398 "Why, let me see, how old are you?" said Mr. Deane, as he threw
9399 himself backward again.
9400
9401 "Sixteen; I mean, I am going in seventeen," said Tom, hoping his uncle
9402 noticed how much beard he had.
9403
9404 "Let me see; your father had some notion of making you an engineer, I
9405 think?"
9406
9407 "But I don't think I could get any money at that for a long while,
9408 could I?"
9409
9410 "That's true; but people don't get much money at anything, my boy,
9411 when they're only sixteen. You've had a good deal of schooling,
9412 however; I suppose you're pretty well up in accounts, eh? You
9413 understand book keeping?"
9414
9415 "No," said Tom, rather falteringly. "I was in Practice. But Mr.
9416 Stelling says I write a good hand, uncle. That's my writing," added
9417 Tom, laying on the table a copy of the list he had made yesterday.
9418
9419 "Ah! that's good, that's good. But, you see, the best hand in the
9420 world'll not get you a better place than a copying-clerk's, if you
9421 know nothing of book-keeping,--nothing of accounts. And a
9422 copying-clerk's a cheap article. But what have you been learning at
9423 school, then?"
9424
9425 Mr. Deane had not occupied himself with methods of education, and had
9426 no precise conception of what went forward in expensive schools.
9427
9428 "We learned Latin," said Tom, pausing a little between each item, as
9429 if he were turning over the books in his school-desk to assist his
9430 memory,--"a good deal of Latin; and the last year I did Themes, one
9431 week in Latin and one in English; and Greek and Roman history; and
9432 Euclid; and I began Algebra, but I left it off again; and we had one
9433 day every week for Arithmetic. Then I used to have drawing-lessons;
9434 and there were several other books we either read or learned out
9435 of,--English Poetry, and Horæ Paulinæ and Blair's Rhetoric, the last
9436 half."
9437
9438 Mr. Deane tapped his snuff-box again and screwed up his mouth; he felt
9439 in the position of many estimable persons when they had read the New
9440 Tariff, and found how many commodities were imported of which they
9441 knew nothing; like a cautious man of business, he was not going to
9442 speak rashly of a raw material in which he had had no experience. But
9443 the presumption was, that if it had been good for anything, so
9444 successful a man as himself would hardly have been ignorant of it.
9445
9446 About Latin he had an opinion, and thought that in case of another
9447 war, since people would no longer wear hair-powder, it would be well
9448 to put a tax upon Latin, as a luxury much run upon by the higher
9449 classes, and not telling at all on the ship-owning department. But,
9450 for what he knew, the Horæ Paulinæ might be something less neutral. On
9451 the whole, this list of acquirements gave him a sort of repulsion
9452 toward poor Tom.
9453
9454 "Well," he said at last, in rather a cold, sardonic tone, "you've had
9455 three years at these things,--you must be pretty strong in 'em. Hadn't
9456 you better take up some line where they'll come in handy?"
9457
9458 Tom colored, and burst out, with new energy:
9459
9460 "I'd rather not have any employment of that sort, uncle. I don't like
9461 Latin and those things. I don't know what I could do with them unless
9462 I went as usher in a school; and I don't know them well enough for
9463 that! besides, I would as soon carry a pair of panniers. I don't want
9464 to be that sort of person. I should like to enter into some business
9465 where I can get on,--a manly business, where I should have to look
9466 after things, and get credit for what I did. And I shall want to keep
9467 my mother and sister."
9468
9469 "Ah, young gentleman," said Mr. Deane, with that tendency to repress
9470 youthful hopes which stout and successful men of fifty find one of
9471 their easiest duties, "that's sooner said than done,--sooner said than
9472 done."
9473
9474 "But didn't _you_ get on in that way, uncle?" said Tom, a little
9475 irritated that Mr. Deane did not enter more rapidly into his views. "I
9476 mean, didn't you rise from one place to another through your abilities
9477 and good conduct?"
9478
9479 "Ay, ay, sir," said Mr. Deane, spreading himself in his chair a
9480 little, and entering with great readiness into a retrospect of his own
9481 career. "But I'll tell you how I got on. It wasn't by getting astride
9482 a stick and thinking it would turn into a horse if I sat on it long
9483 enough. I kept my eyes and ears open, sir, and I wasn't too fond of my
9484 own back, and I made my master's interest my own. Why, with only
9485 looking into what went on in the mill, I found out how there was a
9486 waste of five hundred a-year that might be hindered. Why, sir, I
9487 hadn't more schooling to begin with than a charity boy; but I saw
9488 pretty soon that I couldn't get on far enough without mastering
9489 accounts, and I learned 'em between working hours, after I'd been
9490 unlading. Look here." Mr. Deane opened a book and pointed to the page.
9491 "I write a good hand enough, and I'll match anybody at all sorts of
9492 reckoning by the head; and I got it all by hard work, and paid for it
9493 out of my own earnings,--often out of my own dinner and supper. And I
9494 looked into the nature of all the things we had to do in the business,
9495 and picked up knowledge as I went about my work, and turned it over in
9496 my head. Why, I'm no mechanic,--I never pretended to be--but I've
9497 thought of a thing or two that the mechanics never thought of, and
9498 it's made a fine difference in our returns. And there isn't an article
9499 shipped or unshipped at our wharf but I know the quality of it. If I
9500 got places, sir, it was because I made myself fit for 'em. If you want
9501 to slip into a round hole, you must make a ball of yourself; that's
9502 where it is."
9503
9504 Mr. Deane tapped his box again. He had been led on by pure enthusiasm
9505 in his subject, and had really forgotten what bearing this
9506 retrospective survey had on his listener. He had found occasion for
9507 saying the same thing more than once before, and was not distinctly
9508 aware that he had not his port-wine before him.
9509
9510 "Well, uncle," said Tom, with a slight complaint in his tone, "that's
9511 what I should like to do. Can't _I_ get on in the same way?"
9512
9513 "In the same way?" said Mr. Deane, eyeing Tom with quiet deliberation.
9514 "There go two or three questions to that, Master Tom. That depends on
9515 what sort of material you are, to begin with, and whether you've been
9516 put into the right mill. But I'll tell you what it is. Your poor
9517 father went the wrong way to work in giving you an education. It
9518 wasn't my business, and I didn't interfere; but it is as I thought it
9519 would be. You've had a sort of learning that's all very well for a
9520 young fellow like our Mr. Stephen Guest, who'll have nothing to do but
9521 sign checks all his life, and may as well have Latin inside his head
9522 as any other sort of stuffing."
9523
9524 "But, uncle," said Tom, earnestly, "I don't see why the Latin need
9525 hinder me from getting on in business. I shall soon forget it all; it
9526 makes no difference to me. I had to do my lessons at school, but I
9527 always thought they'd never be of any use to me afterward; I didn't
9528 care about them."
9529
9530 "Ay, ay, that's all very well," said Mr. Deane; "but it doesn't alter
9531 what I was going to say. Your Latin and rigmarole may soon dry off
9532 you, but you'll be but a bare stick after that. Besides, it's whitened
9533 your hands and taken the rough work out of you. And what do you know?
9534 Why, you know nothing about book-keeping, to begin with, and not so
9535 much of reckoning as a common shopman. You'll have to begin at a low
9536 round of the ladder, let me tell you, if you mean to get on in life.
9537 It's no use forgetting the education your father's been paying for, if
9538 you don't give yourself a new un."
9539
9540 Tom bit his lips hard; he felt as if the tears were rising, and he
9541 would rather die than let them.
9542
9543 "You want me to help you to a situation," Mr. Deane went on; "well,
9544 I've no fault to find with that. I'm willing to do something for you.
9545 But you youngsters nowadays think you're to begin with living well and
9546 working easy; you've no notion of running afoot before you get
9547 horseback. Now, you must remember what you are,--you're a lad of
9548 sixteen, trained to nothing particular. There's heaps of your sort,
9549 like so many pebbles, made to fit in nowhere. Well, you might be
9550 apprenticed to some business,--a chemist's and druggist's perhaps;
9551 your Latin might come in a bit there----"
9552
9553 Tom was going to speak, but Mr. Deane put up his hand and said:
9554
9555 "Stop! hear what I've got to say. You don't want to be a 'prentice,--I
9556 know, I know,--you want to make more haste, and you don't want to
9557 stand behind a counter. But if you're a copying-clerk, you'll have to
9558 stand behind a desk, and stare at your ink and paper all day; there
9559 isn't much out-look there, and you won't be much wiser at the end of
9560 the year than at the beginning. The world isn't made of pen, ink, and
9561 paper, and if you're to get on in the world, young man, you must know
9562 what the world's made of. Now the best chance for you 'ud be to have a
9563 place on a wharf, or in a warehouse, where you'd learn the smell of
9564 things, but you wouldn't like that, I'll be bound; you'd have to stand
9565 cold and wet, and be shouldered about by rough fellows. You're too
9566 fine a gentleman for that."
9567
9568 Mr. Deane paused and looked hard at Tom, who certainly felt some
9569 inward struggle before he could reply.
9570
9571 "I would rather do what will be best for me in the end, sir; I would
9572 put up with what was disagreeable."
9573
9574 "That's well, if you can carry it out. But you must remember it isn't
9575 only laying hold of a rope, you must go on pulling. It's the mistake
9576 you lads make that have got nothing either in your brains or your
9577 pocket, to think you've got a better start in the world if you stick
9578 yourselves in a place where you can keep your coats clean, and have
9579 the shopwenches take you for fine gentlemen. That wasn't the way _I_
9580 started, young man; when I was sixteen, my jacket smelt of tar, and I
9581 wasn't afraid of handling cheeses. That's the reason I can wear good
9582 broadcloth now, and have my legs under the same table with the head
9583 of the best firms in St. Ogg's."
9584
9585 Uncle Deane tapped his box, and seemed to expand a little under his
9586 waistcoat and gold chain, as he squared his shoulders in the chair.
9587
9588 "Is there any place at liberty that you know of now, uncle, that I
9589 should do for? I should like to set to work at once," said Tom, with a
9590 slight tremor in his voice.
9591
9592 "Stop a bit, stop a bit; we mustn't be in too great a hurry. You must
9593 bear in mind, if I put you in a place you're a bit young for, because
9594 you happen to be my nephew, I shall be responsible for you. And
9595 there's no better reason, you know, than your being my nephew; because
9596 it remains to be seen whether you're good for anything."
9597
9598 "I hope I shall never do you any discredit, uncle," said Tom, hurt, as
9599 all boys are at the statement of the unpleasant truth that people feel
9600 no ground for trusting them. "I care about my own credit too much for
9601 that."
9602
9603 "Well done, Tom, well done! That's the right spirit, and I never
9604 refuse to help anybody if they've a mind to do themselves justice.
9605 There's a young man of two-and-twenty I've got my eye on now. I shall
9606 do what I can for that young man; he's got some pith in him. But then,
9607 you see, he's made good use of his time,--a first-rate calculator,--
9608 can tell you the cubic contents of anything in no time, and put me up
9609 the other day to a new market for Swedish bark; he's uncommonly
9610 knowing in manufactures, that young fellow."
9611
9612 "I'd better set about learning book-keeping, hadn't I, uncle?" said
9613 Tom, anxious to prove his readiness to exert himself.
9614
9615 "Yes, yes, you can't do amiss there. But--Ah, Spence, you're back
9616 again. Well Tom, there's nothing more to be said just now, I think,
9617 and I must go to business again. Good-by. Remember me to your mother."
9618
9619 Mr. Deane put out his hand, with an air of friendly dismissal, and Tom
9620 had not courage to ask another question, especially in the presence of
9621 Mr. Spence. So he went out again into the cold damp air. He had to
9622 call at his uncle Glegg's about the money in the Savings Bank, and by
9623 the time he set out again the mist had thickened, and he could not see
9624 very far before him; but going along River Street again, he was
9625 startled, when he was within two yards of the projecting side of a
9626 shop-window, by the words "Dorlcote Mill" in large letters on a
9627 hand-bill, placed as if on purpose to stare at him. It was the
9628 catalogue of the sale to take place the next week; it was a reason for
9629 hurrying faster out of the town.
9630
9631 Poor Tom formed no visions of the distant future as he made his way
9632 homeward; he only felt that the present was very hard. It seemed a
9633 wrong toward him that his uncle Deane had no confidence in him,--did
9634 not see at once that he should acquit himself well, which Tom himself
9635 was as certain of as of the daylight. Apparently he, Tom Tulliver, was
9636 likely to be held of small account in the world; and for the first
9637 time he felt a sinking of heart under the sense that he really was
9638 very ignorant, and could do very little. Who was that enviable young
9639 man that could tell the cubic contents of things in no time, and make
9640 suggestions about Swedish bark! Tom had been used to be so entirely
9641 satisfied with himself, in spite of his breaking down in a
9642 demonstration, and construing _nunc illas promite vires_ as "now
9643 promise those men"; but now he suddenly felt at a disadvantage,
9644 because he knew less than some one else knew. There must be a world of
9645 things connected with that Swedish bark, which, if he only knew them,
9646 might have helped him to get on. It would have been much easier to
9647 make a figure with a spirited horse and a new saddle.
9648
9649 Two hours ago, as Tom was walking to St. Ogg's, he saw the distant
9650 future before him as he might have seen a tempting stretch of smooth
9651 sandy beach beyond a belt of flinty shingles; he was on the grassy
9652 bank then, and thought the shingles might soon be passed. But now his
9653 feet were on the sharp stones; the belt of shingles had widened, and
9654 the stretch of sand had dwindled into narrowness.
9655
9656 "What did my Uncle Deane say, Tom?" said Maggie, putting her arm
9657 through Tom's as he was warming himself rather drearily by the kitchen
9658 fire. "Did he say he would give you a situation?"
9659
9660 "No, he didn't say that. He didn't quite promise me anything; he
9661 seemed to think I couldn't have a very good situation. I'm too young."
9662
9663 "But didn't he speak kindly, Tom?"
9664
9665 "Kindly? Pooh! what's the use of talking about that? I wouldn't care
9666 about his speaking kindly, if I could get a situation. But it's such a
9667 nuisance and bother; I've been at school all this while learning Latin
9668 and things,--not a bit of good to me,--and now my uncle says I must
9669 set about learning book-keeping and calculation, and those things. He
9670 seems to make out I'm good for nothing."
9671
9672 Tom's mouth twitched with a bitter expression as he looked at the
9673 fire.
9674
9675 "Oh, what a pity we haven't got Dominie Sampson!" said Maggie, who
9676 couldn't help mingling some gayety with their sadness. "If he had
9677 taught me book-keeping by double entry and after the Italian method,
9678 as he did Lucy Bertram, I could teach you, Tom."
9679
9680 "_You_ teach! Yes, I dare say. That's always the tone you take," said
9681 Tom.
9682
9683 "Dear Tom, I was only joking," said Maggie, putting her cheek against
9684 his coat-sleeve.
9685
9686 "But it's always the same, Maggie," said Tom, with the little frown he
9687 put on when he was about to be justifiably severe. "You're always
9688 setting yourself up above me and every one else, and I've wanted to
9689 tell you about it several times. You ought not to have spoken as you
9690 did to my uncles and aunts; you should leave it to me to take care of
9691 my mother and you, and not put yourself forward. You think you know
9692 better than any one, but you're almost always wrong. I can judge much
9693 better than you can."
9694
9695 Poor Tom! he had just come from being lectured and made to feel his
9696 inferiority; the reaction of his strong, self-asserting nature must
9697 take place somehow; and here was a case in which he could justly show
9698 himself dominant. Maggie's cheek flushed and her lip quivered with
9699 conflicting resentment and affection, and a certain awe as well as
9700 admiration of Tom's firmer and more effective character. She did not
9701 answer immediately; very angry words rose to her lips, but they were
9702 driven back again, and she said at last:
9703
9704 "You often think I'm conceited, Tom, when I don't mean what I say at
9705 all in that way. I don't mean to put myself above you; I know you
9706 behaved better than I did yesterday. But you are always so harsh to
9707 me, Tom."
9708
9709 With the last words the resentment was rising again.
9710
9711 "No, I'm not harsh," said Tom, with severe decision. "I'm always kind
9712 to you, and so I shall be; I shall always take care of you. But you
9713 must mind what I say."
9714
9715 Their mother came in now, and Maggie rushed away, that her burst of
9716 tears, which she felt must come, might not happen till she was safe
9717 upstairs. They were very bitter tears; everybody in the world seemed
9718 so hard and unkind to Maggie; there was no indulgence, no fondness,
9719 such as she imagined when she fashioned the world afresh in her own
9720 thoughts. In books there were people who were always agreeable or
9721 tender, and delighted to do things that made one happy, and who did
9722 not show their kindness by finding fault. The world outside the books
9723 was not a happy one, Maggie felt; it seemed to be a world where people
9724 behaved the best to those they did not pretend to love, and that did
9725 not belong to them. And if life had no love in it, what else was there
9726 for Maggie? Nothing but poverty and the companionship of her mother's
9727 narrow griefs, perhaps of her father's heart-cutting childish
9728 dependence. There is no hopelessness so sad as that of early youth,
9729 when the soul is made up of wants, and has no long memories, no
9730 superadded life in the life of others; though we who looked on think
9731 lightly of such premature despair, as if our vision of the future
9732 lightened the blind sufferer's present.
9733
9734 Maggie, in her brown frock, with her eyes reddened and her heavy hair
9735 pushed back, looking from the bed where her father lay to the dull
9736 walls of this sad chamber which was the centre of her world, was a
9737 creature full of eager, passionate longings for all that was beautiful
9738 and glad; thirsty for all knowledge; with an ear straining after
9739 dreamy music that died away and would not come near to her; with a
9740 blind, unconscious yearning for something that would link together the
9741 wonderful impressions of this mysterious life, and give her soul a
9742 sense of home in it.
9743
9744 No wonder, when there is this contrast between the outward and the
9745 inward, that painful collisions come of it.
9746
9747
9748
9749 Chapter VI
9750
9751 Tending to Refute the Popular Prejudice against the Present of a
9752 Pocket-Knife
9753
9754
9755 In that dark time of December, the sale of the household furniture
9756 lasted beyond the middle of the second day. Mr. Tulliver, who had
9757 begun, in his intervals of consciousness, to manifest an irritability
9758 which often appeared to have as a direct effect the recurrence of
9759 spasmodic rigidity and insensibility, had lain in this living death
9760 throughout the critical hours when the noise of the sale came nearest
9761 to his chamber. Mr. Turnbull had decided that it would be a less risk
9762 to let him remain where he was than to remove him to Luke's
9763 cottage,--a plan which the good Luke had proposed to Mrs. Tulliver,
9764 thinking it would be very bad if the master were "to waken up" at the
9765 noise of the sale; and the wife and children had sat imprisoned in the
9766 silent chamber, watching the large prostrate figure on the bed, and
9767 trembling lest the blank face should suddenly show some response to
9768 the sounds which fell on their own ears with such obstinate, painful
9769 repetition.
9770
9771 But it was over at last, that time of importunate certainty and
9772 eye-straining suspense. The sharp sound of a voice, almost as metallic
9773 as the rap that followed it, had ceased; the tramping of footsteps on
9774 the gravel had died out. Mrs. Tulliver's blond face seemed aged ten
9775 years by the last thirty hours; the poor woman's mind had been busy
9776 divining when her favorite things were being knocked down by the
9777 terrible hammer; her heart had been fluttering at the thought that
9778 first one thing and then another had gone to be identified as hers in
9779 the hateful publicity of the Golden Lion; and all the while she had to
9780 sit and make no sign of this inward agitation. Such things bring lines
9781 in well-rounded faces, and broaden the streaks of white among the
9782 hairs that once looked as if they had been dipped in pure sunshine.
9783 Already, at three o'clock, Kezia, the good-hearted, bad-tempered
9784 housemaid, who regarded all people that came to the sale as her
9785 personal enemies, the dirt on whose feet was of a peculiarly vile
9786 quality, had begun to scrub and swill with an energy much assisted by
9787 a continual low muttering against "folks as came to buy up other
9788 folk's things," and made light of "scrazing" the tops of mahogany
9789 tables over which better folks than themselves had had to--suffer a
9790 waste of tissue through evaporation. She was not scrubbing
9791 indiscriminately, for there would be further dirt of the same
9792 atrocious kind made by people who had still to fetch away their
9793 purchases; but she was bent on bringing the parlor, where that
9794 "pipe-smoking pig," the bailiff, had sat, to such an appearance of
9795 scant comfort as could be given to it by cleanliness and the few
9796 articles of furniture bought in for the family. Her mistress and the
9797 young folks should have their tea in it that night, Kezia was
9798 determined.
9799
9800 It was between five and six o'clock, near the usual teatime, when she
9801 came upstairs and said that Master Tom was wanted. The person who
9802 wanted him was in the kitchen, and in the first moments, by the
9803 imperfect fire and candle light, Tom had not even an indefinite sense
9804 of any acquaintance with the rather broad-set but active figure,
9805 perhaps two years older than himself, that looked at him with a pair
9806 of blue eyes set in a disc of freckles, and pulled some curly red
9807 locks with a strong intention of respect. A low-crowned
9808 oilskin-covered hat, and a certain shiny deposit of dirt on the rest
9809 of the costume, as of tablets prepared for writing upon, suggested a
9810 calling that had to do with boats; but this did not help Tom's memory.
9811
9812 "Sarvant, Master Tom," said he of the red locks, with a smile which
9813 seemed to break through a self-imposed air of melancholy. "You don't
9814 know me again, I doubt," he went on, as Tom continued to look at him
9815 inquiringly; "but I'd like to talk to you by yourself a bit, please."
9816
9817 "There's a fire i' the parlor, Master Tom," said Kezia, who objected
9818 to leaving the kitchen in the crisis of toasting.
9819
9820 "Come this way, then," said Tom, wondering if this young fellow
9821 belonged to Guest & Co.'s Wharf, for his imagination ran continually
9822 toward that particular spot; and uncle Deane might any time be sending
9823 for him to say that there was a situation at liberty.
9824
9825 The bright fire in the parlor was the only light that showed the few
9826 chairs, the bureau, the carpetless floor, and the one table--no, not
9827 the _one_ table; there was a second table, in a corner, with a large
9828 Bible and a few other books upon it. It was this new strange bareness
9829 that Tom felt first, before he thought of looking again at the face
9830 which was also lit up by the fire, and which stole a half-shy,
9831 questioning glance at him as the entirely strange voice said:
9832
9833 "Why! you don't remember Bob, then, as you gen the pocket-knife to,
9834 Mr. Tom?"
9835
9836 The rough-handled pocket-knife was taken out in the same moment, and
9837 the largest blade opened by way of irresistible demonstration.
9838
9839 "What! Bob Jakin?" said Tom, not with any cordial delight, for he felt
9840 a little ashamed of that early intimacy symbolized by the
9841 pocket-knife, and was not at all sure that Bob's motives for recalling
9842 it were entirely admirable.
9843
9844 "Ay, ay, Bob Jakin, if Jakin it must be, 'cause there's so many Bobs
9845 as you went arter the squerrils with, that day as I plumped right down
9846 from the bough, and bruised my shins a good un--but I got the squerril
9847 tight for all that, an' a scratter it was. An' this littlish blade's
9848 broke, you see, but I wouldn't hev a new un put in, 'cause they might
9849 be cheatin' me an' givin' me another knife instid, for there isn't
9850 such a blade i' the country,--it's got used to my hand, like. An'
9851 there was niver nobody else gen me nothin' but what I got by my own
9852 sharpness, only you, Mr. Tom; if it wasn't Bill Fawks as gen me the
9853 terrier pup istid o' drowndin't it, an' I had to jaw him a good un
9854 afore he'd give it me."
9855
9856 Bob spoke with a sharp and rather treble volubility, and got through
9857 his long speech with surprising despatch, giving the blade of his
9858 knife an affectionate rub on his sleeve when he had finished.
9859
9860 "Well, Bob," said Tom, with a slight air of patronage, the foregoing
9861 reminscences having disposed him to be as friendly as was becoming,
9862 though there was no part of his acquaintance with Bob that he
9863 remembered better than the cause of their parting quarrel; "is there
9864 anything I can do for you?"
9865
9866 "Why, no, Mr. Tom," answered Bob, shutting up his knife with a click
9867 and returning it to his pocket, where he seemed to be feeling for
9868 something else. "I shouldn't ha' come back upon you now ye're i'
9869 trouble, an' folks say as the master, as I used to frighten the birds
9870 for, an' he flogged me a bit for fun when he catched me eatin' the
9871 turnip, as they say he'll niver lift up his head no more,--I shouldn't
9872 ha' come now to ax you to gi' me another knife 'cause you gen me one
9873 afore. If a chap gives me one black eye, that's enough for me; I
9874 sha'n't ax him for another afore I sarve him out; an' a good turn's
9875 worth as much as a bad un, anyhow. I shall niver grow down'ards again,
9876 Mr. Tom, an' you war the little chap as I liked the best when _I_ war
9877 a little chap, for all you leathered me, and wouldn't look at me
9878 again. There's Dick Brumby, there, I could leather him as much as I'd
9879 a mind; but lors! you get tired o' leatherin' a chap when you can
9880 niver make him see what you want him to shy at. I'n seen chaps as 'ud
9881 stand starin' at a bough till their eyes shot out, afore they'd see as
9882 a bird's tail warn't a leaf. It's poor work goin' wi' such raff. But
9883 you war allays a rare un at shying, Mr. Tom, an' I could trusten to
9884 you for droppin' down wi' your stick in the nick o' time at a runnin'
9885 rat, or a stoat, or that, when I war a-beatin' the bushes."
9886
9887 Bob had drawn out a dirty canvas bag, and would perhaps not have
9888 paused just then if Maggie had not entered the room and darted a look
9889 of surprise and curiosity at him, whereupon he pulled his red locks
9890 again with due respect. But the next moment the sense of the altered
9891 room came upon Maggie with a force that overpowered the thought of
9892 Bob's presence. Her eyes had immediately glanced from him to the place
9893 where the bookcase had hung; there was nothing now but the oblong
9894 unfaded space on the wall, and below it the small table with the Bible
9895 and the few other books.
9896
9897 "Oh, Tom!" she burst out, clasping her hands, "where are the books? I
9898 thought my uncle Glegg said he would buy them. Didn't he? Are those
9899 all they've left us?"
9900
9901 "I suppose so," said Tom, with a sort of desperate indifference. "Why
9902 should they buy many books when they bought so little furniture?"
9903
9904 "Oh, but, Tom," said Maggie, her eyes filling with tears, as she
9905 rushed up to the table to see what books had been rescued. "Our dear
9906 old Pilgrim's Progress that you colored with your little paints; and
9907 that picture of Pilgrim with a mantle on, looking just like a
9908 turtle--oh dear!" Maggie went on, half sobbing as she turned over the
9909 few books, "I thought we should never part with that while we lived;
9910 everything is going away from us; the end of our lives will have
9911 nothing in it like the beginning!"
9912
9913 Maggie turned away from the table and threw herself into a chair, with
9914 the big tears ready to roll down her cheeks, quite blinded to the
9915 presence of Bob, who was looking at her with the pursuant gaze of an
9916 intelligent dumb animal, with perceptions more perfect than his
9917 comprehension.
9918
9919 "Well, Bob," said Tom, feeling that the subject of the books was
9920 unseasonable, "I suppose you just came to see me because we're in
9921 trouble? That was very good-natured of you."
9922
9923 "I'll tell you how it is, Master Tom," said Bob, beginning to untwist
9924 his canvas bag. "You see, I'n been with a barge this two 'ear; that's
9925 how I'n been gettin' my livin',--if it wasn't when I was tentin' the
9926 furnace, between whiles, at Torry's mill. But a fortni't ago I'd a
9927 rare bit o' luck,--I allays thought I was a lucky chap, for I niver
9928 set a trap but what I catched something; but this wasn't trap, it was
9929 a fire i' Torry's mill, an' I doused it, else it 'ud set th' oil
9930 alight, an' the genelman gen me ten suvreigns; he gen me 'em himself
9931 last week. An' he said first, I was a sperrited chap,--but I knowed
9932 that afore,--but then he outs wi' the ten suvreigns, an' that war
9933 summat new. Here they are, all but one!" Here Bob emptied the canvas
9934 bag on the table. "An' when I'd got 'em, my head was all of a boil
9935 like a kettle o' broth, thinkin' what sort o' life I should take to,
9936 for there war a many trades I'd thought on; for as for the barge, I'm
9937 clean tired out wi't, for it pulls the days out till they're as long
9938 as pigs' chitterlings. An' I thought first I'd ha' ferrets an' dogs,
9939 an' be a rat-catcher; an' then I thought as I should like a bigger way
9940 o' life, as I didn't know so well; for I'n seen to the bottom o'
9941 rat-catching; an' I thought, an' thought, till at last I settled I'd
9942 be a packman,--for they're knowin' fellers, the packmen are,--an' I'd
9943 carry the lightest things I could i' my pack; an' there'd be a use for
9944 a feller's tongue, as is no use neither wi' rats nor barges. An' I
9945 should go about the country far an' wide, an' come round the women wi'
9946 my tongue, an' get my dinner hot at the public,--lors! it 'ud be a
9947 lovely life!"
9948
9949 Bob paused, and then said, with defiant decision, as if resolutely
9950 turning his back on that paradisaic picture:
9951
9952 "But I don't mind about it, not a chip! An' I'n changed one o' the
9953 suvreigns to buy my mother a goose for dinner, an' I'n bought a blue
9954 plush wescoat, an' a sealskin cap,--for if I meant to be a packman,
9955 I'd do it respectable. But I don't mind about it, not a chip! My yead
9956 isn't a turnip, an' I shall p'r'aps have a chance o' dousing another
9957 fire afore long. I'm a lucky chap. So I'll thank you to take the nine
9958 suvreigns, Mr. Tom, and set yoursen up with 'em somehow, if it's true
9959 as the master's broke. They mayn't go fur enough, but they'll help."
9960
9961 Tom was touched keenly enough to forget his pride and suspicion.
9962
9963 "You're a very kind fellow, Bob," he said, coloring, with that little
9964 diffident tremor in his voice which gave a certain charm even to Tom's
9965 pride and severity, "and I sha'n't forget you again, though I didn't
9966 know you this evening. But I can't take the nine sovereigns; I should
9967 be taking your little fortune from you, and they wouldn't do me much
9968 good either."
9969
9970 "Wouldn't they, Mr. Tom?" said Bob, regretfully. "Now don't say so
9971 'cause you think I want 'em. I aren't a poor chap. My mother gets a
9972 good penn'orth wi' picking feathers an' things; an' if she eats
9973 nothin' but bread-an'-water, it runs to fat. An' I'm such a lucky
9974 chap; an' I doubt you aren't quite so lucky, Mr. Tom,--th' old master
9975 isn't, anyhow,--an' so you might take a slice o' my luck, an' no harm
9976 done. Lors! I found a leg o' pork i' the river one day; it had tumbled
9977 out o' one o' them round-sterned Dutchmen, I'll be bound. Come, think
9978 better on it, Mr. Tom, for old 'quinetance' sake, else I shall think
9979 you bear me a grudge."
9980
9981 Bob pushed the sovereigns forward, but before Tom could speak Maggie,
9982 clasping her hands, and looking penitently at Bob, said:
9983
9984 "Oh, I'm so sorry, Bob; I never thought you were so good. Why, I think
9985 you're the kindest person in the world!"
9986
9987 Bob had not been aware of the injurious opinion for which Maggie was
9988 performing an inward act of penitence, but he smiled with pleasure at
9989 this handsome eulogy,--especially from a young lass who, as he
9990 informed his mother that evening, had "such uncommon eyes, they looked
9991 somehow as they made him feel nohow."
9992
9993 "No, indeed Bob, I can't take them," said Tom; "but don't think I feel
9994 your kindness less because I say no. I don't want to take anything
9995 from anybody, but to work my own way. And those sovereigns wouldn't
9996 help me much--they wouldn't really--if I were to take them. Let me
9997 shake hands with you instead."
9998
9999 Tom put out his pink palm, and Bob was not slow to place his hard,
10000 grimy hand within it.
10001
10002 "Let me put the sovereigns in the bag again," said Maggie; "and you'll
10003 come and see us when you've bought your pack, Bob."
10004
10005 "It's like as if I'd come out o' make believe, o' purpose to show 'em
10006 you," said Bob, with an air of discontent, as Maggie gave him the bag
10007 again, "a-taking 'em back i' this way. I _am_ a bit of a Do, you know;
10008 but it isn't that sort o' Do,--it's on'y when a feller's a big rogue,
10009 or a big flat, I like to let him in a bit, that's all."
10010
10011 "Now, don't you be up to any tricks, Bob," said Tom, "else you'll get
10012 transported some day."
10013
10014 "No, no; not me, Mr. Tom," said Bob, with an air of cheerful
10015 confidence. "There's no law again' flea-bites. If I wasn't to take a
10016 fool in now and then, he'd niver get any wiser. But, lors! hev a
10017 suvreign to buy you and Miss summat, on'y for a token--just to match
10018 my pocket-knife."
10019
10020 While Bob was speaking he laid down the sovereign, and resolutely
10021 twisted up his bag again. Tom pushed back the gold, and said, "No,
10022 indeed, Bob; thank you heartily, but I can't take it." And Maggie,
10023 taking it between her fingers, held it up to Bob and said, more
10024 persuasively:
10025
10026 "Not now, but perhaps another time. If ever Tom or my father wants
10027 help that you can give, we'll let you know; won't we, Tom? That's what
10028 you would like,--to have us always depend on you as a friend that we
10029 can go to,--isn't it, Bob?"
10030
10031 "Yes, Miss, and thank you," said Bob, reluctantly taking the money;
10032 "that's what I'd like, anything as you like. An' I wish you good-by,
10033 Miss, and good-luck, Mr. Tom, and thank you for shaking hands wi' me,
10034 _though_ you wouldn't take the money."
10035
10036 Kezia's entrance, with very black looks, to inquire if she shouldn't
10037 bring in the tea now, or whether the toast was to get hardened to a
10038 brick, was a seasonable check on Bob's flux of words, and hastened his
10039 parting bow.
10040
10041
10042
10043 Chapter VII
10044
10045 How a Hen Takes to Stratagem
10046
10047
10048 The days passed, and Mr. Tulliver showed, at least to the eyes of the
10049 medical man, stronger and stronger symptoms of a gradual return to his
10050 normal condition; the paralytic obstruction was, little by little,
10051 losing its tenacity, and the mind was rising from under it with fitful
10052 struggles, like a living creature making its way from under a great
10053 snowdrift, that slides and slides again, and shuts up the newly made
10054 opening.
10055
10056 Time would have seemed to creep to the watchers by the bed, if it had
10057 only been measured by the doubtful, distant hope which kept count of
10058 the moments within the chamber; but it was measured for them by a
10059 fast-approaching dread which made the nights come too quickly. While
10060 Mr. Tulliver was slowly becoming himself again, his lot was hastening
10061 toward its moment of most palpable change. The taxing-masters had done
10062 their work like any respectable gunsmith conscientiously preparing the
10063 musket, that, duly pointed by a brave arm, will spoil a life or two.
10064 Allocaturs, filing of bills in Chancery, decrees of sale, are legal
10065 chain-shot or bomb-shells that can never hit a solitary mark, but must
10066 fall with widespread shattering. So deeply inherent is it in this life
10067 of ours that men have to suffer for each other's sins, so inevitably
10068 diffusive is human suffering, that even justice makes its victims, and
10069 we can conceive no retribution that does not spread beyond its mark in
10070 pulsations of unmerited pain.
10071
10072 By the beginning of the second week in January, the bills were out
10073 advertising the sale, under a decree of Chancery, of Mr. Tulliver's
10074 farming and other stock, to be followed by a sale of the mill and
10075 land, held in the proper after-dinner hour at the Golden Lion. The
10076 miller himself, unaware of the lapse of time, fancied himself still in
10077 that first stage of his misfortunes when expedients might be thought
10078 of; and often in his conscious hours talked in a feeble, disjointed
10079 manner of plans he would carry out when he "got well." The wife and
10080 children were not without hope of an issue that would at least save
10081 Mr. Tulliver from leaving the old spot, and seeking an entirely
10082 strange life. For uncle Deane had been induced to interest himself in
10083 this stage of the business. It would not, he acknowledged, be a bad
10084 speculation for Guest & Co. to buy Dorlcote Mill, and carry on the
10085 business, which was a good one, and might be increased by the addition
10086 of steam power; in which case Tulliver might be retained as manager.
10087 Still, Mr. Deane would say nothing decided about the matter; the fact
10088 that Wakem held the mortgage on the land might put it into his head to
10089 bid for the whole estate, and further, to outbid the cautious firm of
10090 Guest &Co., who did not carry on business on sentimental grounds. Mr.
10091 Deane was obliged to tell Mrs. Tulliver something to that effect, when
10092 he rode over to the mill to inspect the books in company with Mrs.
10093 Glegg; for she had observed that "if Guest &Co. would only think about
10094 it, Mr. Tulliver's father and grandfather had been carrying on
10095 Dorlcote Mill long before the oil-mill of that firm had been so much
10096 as thought of."
10097
10098 Mr. Deane, in reply, doubted whether that was precisely the relation
10099 between the two mills which would determine their value as
10100 investments. As for uncle Glegg, the thing lay quite beyond his
10101 imagination; the good-natured man felt sincere pity for the Tulliver
10102 family, but his money was all locked up in excellent mortgages, and he
10103 could run no risk; that would be unfair to his own relatives; but he
10104 had made up his mind that Tulliver should have some new flannel
10105 waistcoats which he had himself renounced in favor of a more elastic
10106 commodity, and that he would buy Mrs. Tulliver a pound of tea now and
10107 then; it would be a journey which his benevolence delighted in
10108 beforehand, to carry the tea and see her pleasure on being assured it
10109 was the best black.
10110
10111 Still, it was clear that Mr. Deane was kindly disposed toward the
10112 Tullivers. One day he had brought Lucy, who was come home for the
10113 Christmas holidays, and the little blond angel-head had pressed itself
10114 against Maggie's darker cheek with many kisses and some tears. These
10115 fair slim daughters keep up a tender spot in the heart of many a
10116 respectable partner in a respectable firm, and perhaps Lucy's anxious,
10117 pitying questions about her poor cousins helped to make uncle Deane
10118 more prompt in finding Tom a temporary place in the warehouse, and in
10119 putting him in the way of getting evening lessons in book-keeping and
10120 calculation.
10121
10122 That might have cheered the lad and fed his hopes a little, if there
10123 had not come at the same time the much-dreaded blow of finding that
10124 his father must be a bankrupt, after all; at least, the creditors must
10125 be asked to take less than their due, which to Tom's untechnical mind
10126 was the same thing as bankruptcy. His father must not only be said to
10127 have "lost his property," but to have "failed,"--the word that carried
10128 the worst obloquy to Tom's mind. For when the defendant's claim for
10129 costs had been satisfied, there would remain the friendly bill of Mr.
10130 Gore, and the deficiency at the bank, as well as the other debts which
10131 would make the assets shrink into unequivocal disproportion; "not more
10132 than ten or twelve shillings in the pound," predicted Mr. Deane, in a
10133 decided tone, tightening his lips; and the words fell on Tom like a
10134 scalding liquied, leaving a continual smart.
10135
10136 He was sadly in want of something to keep up his spirits a little in
10137 the unpleasant newness of his position,--suddenly transported from the
10138 easy carpeted _ennui_ of study-hours at Mr. Stelling's, and the busy
10139 idleness of castle-building in a "last half" at school, to the
10140 companionship of sacks and hides, and bawling men thundering down
10141 heavy weights at his elbow. The first step toward getting on in the
10142 world was a chill, dusty, noisy affair, and implied going without
10143 one's tea in order to stay in St. Ogg's and have an evening lesson
10144 from a one-armed elderly clerk, in a room smelling strongly of bad
10145 tobacco. Tom's young pink-and-white face had its colors very much
10146 deadened by the time he took off his hat at home, and sat down with
10147 keen hunger to his supper. No wonder he was a little cross if his
10148 mother or Maggie spoke to him.
10149
10150 But all this while Mrs. Tulliver was brooding over a scheme by which
10151 she, and no one else, would avert the result most to be dreaded, and
10152 prevent Wakem from entertaining the purpose of bidding for the mill.
10153 Imagine a truly respectable and amiable hen, by some portentous
10154 anomaly, taking to reflection and inventing combinations by which she
10155 might prevail on Hodge not to wring her neck, or send her and her
10156 chicks to market; the result could hardly be other than much cackling
10157 and fluttering. Mrs. Tulliver, seeing that everything had gone wrong,
10158 had begun to think she had been too passive in life; and that, if she
10159 had applied her mind to business, and taken a strong resolution now
10160 and then, it would have been all the better for her and her family.
10161 Nobody, it appeared, had thought of going to speak to Wakem on this
10162 business of the mill; and yet, Mrs. Tulliver reflected, it would have
10163 been quite the shortest method of securing the right end. It would
10164 have been of no use, to be sure, for Mr. Tulliver to go,--even if he
10165 had been able and willing,--for he had been "going to law against
10166 Wakem" and abusing him for the last ten years; Wakem was always likely
10167 to have a spite against him. And now that Mrs. Tulliver had come to
10168 the conclusion that her husband was very much in the wrong to bring
10169 her into this trouble, she was inclined to think that his opinion of
10170 Wakem was wrong too. To be sure, Wakem had "put the bailies in the
10171 house, and sold them up"; but she supposed he did that to please the
10172 man that lent Mr. Tulliver the money, for a lawyer had more folks to
10173 please than one, and he wasn't likely to put Mr. Tulliver, who had
10174 gone to law with him, above everybody else in the world. The attorney
10175 might be a very reasonable man; why not? He had married a Miss Clint,
10176 and at the time Mrs. Tulliver had heard of that marriage, the summer
10177 when she wore her blue satin spencer, and had not yet any thoughts of
10178 Mr. Tulliver, she knew no harm of Wakem. And certainly toward herself,
10179 whom he knew to have been a Miss Dodson, it was out of all possibility
10180 that he could entertain anything but good-will, when it was once
10181 brought home to his observation that she, for her part, had never
10182 wanted to go to law, and indeed was at present disposed to take Mr.
10183 Wakem's view of all subjects rather than her husband's. In fact, if
10184 that attorney saw a respectable matron like herself disposed "to give
10185 him good words," why shouldn't he listen to her representations? For
10186 she would put the matter clearly before him, which had never been done
10187 yet. And he would never go and bid for the mill on purpose to spite
10188 her, an innocent woman, who thought it likely enough that she had
10189 danced with him in their youth at Squire Darleigh's, for at those big
10190 dances she had often and often danced with young men whose names she
10191 had forgotten.
10192
10193 Mrs. Tulliver hid these reasonings in her own bosom; for when she had
10194 thrown out a hint to Mr. Deane and Mr. Glegg that she wouldn't mind
10195 going to speak to Wakem herself, they had said, "No, no, no," and
10196 "Pooh, pooh," and "Let Wakem alone," in the tone of men who were not
10197 likely to give a candid attention to a more definite exposition of her
10198 project; still less dared she mention the plan to Tom and Maggie, for
10199 "the children were always so against everything their mother said";
10200 and Tom, she observed, was almost as much set against Wakem as his
10201 father was. But this unusual concentration of thought naturally gave
10202 Mrs. Tulliver an unusual power of device and determination: and a day
10203 or two before the sale, to be held at the Golden Lion, when there was
10204 no longer any time to be lost, she carried out her plan by a
10205 stratagem. There were pickles in question, a large stock of pickles
10206 and ketchup which Mrs. Tulliver possessed, and which Mr. Hyndmarsh,
10207 the grocer, would certainly purchase if she could transact the
10208 business in a personal interview, so she would walk with Tom to St.
10209 Ogg's that morning; and when Tom urged that she might let the pickles
10210 be at present,--he didn't like her to go about just yet,--she appeared
10211 so hurt at this conduct in her son, contradicting her about pickles
10212 which she had made after the family receipts inherited from his own
10213 grandmother, who had died when his mother was a little girl, that he
10214 gave way, and they walked together until she turned toward Danish
10215 Street, where Mr. Hyndmarsh retailed his grocery, not far from the
10216 offices of Mr. Wakem.
10217
10218 That gentleman was not yet come to his office; would Mrs. Tulliver sit
10219 down by the fire in his private room and wait for him? She had not
10220 long to wait before the punctual attorney entered, knitting his brow
10221 with an examining glance at the stout blond woman who rose, curtsying
10222 deferentially,--a tallish man, with an aquiline nose and abundant
10223 iron-gray hair. You have never seen Mr. Wakem before, and are possibly
10224 wondering whether he was really as eminent a rascal, and as crafty,
10225 bitter an enemy of honest humanity in general, and of Mr. Tulliver in
10226 particular, as he is represented to be in that eidolon or portrait of
10227 him which we have seen to exist in the miller's mind.
10228
10229 It is clear that the irascible miller was a man to interpret any
10230 chance-shot that grazed him as an attempt on his own life, and was
10231 liable to entanglements in this puzzling world, which, due
10232 consideration had to his own infallibility, required the hypothesis of
10233 a very active diabolical agency to explain them. It is still possible
10234 to believe that the attorney was not more guilty toward him than an
10235 ingenious machine, which performs its work with much regularity, is
10236 guilty toward the rash man who, venturing too near it, is caught up by
10237 some fly-wheel or other, and suddenly converted into unexpected
10238 mince-meat.
10239
10240 But it is really impossible to decide this question by a glance at his
10241 person; the lines and lights of the human countenance are like other
10242 symbols,--not always easy to read without a key. On an _a priori_ view
10243 of Wakem's aquiline nose, which offended Mr. Tulliver, there was not
10244 more rascality than in the shape of his stiff shirt-collar, though
10245 this too along with his nose, might have become fraught with damnatory
10246 meaning when once the rascality was ascertained.
10247
10248 "Mrs. Tulliver, I think?" said Mr. Wakem.
10249
10250 "Yes, sir; Miss Elizabeth Dodson as was."
10251
10252 "Pray be seated. You have some business with me?"
10253
10254 "Well, sir, yes," said Mrs. Tulliver, beginning to feel alarmed at her
10255 own courage, now she was really in presence of the formidable man, and
10256 reflecting that she had not settled with herself how she should begin.
10257 Mr. Wakem felt in his waistcoat pockets, and looked at her in silence.
10258
10259 "I hope, sir," she began at last,--"I hope, sir, you're not a-thinking
10260 as _I_ bear you any ill-will because o' my husband's losing his
10261 lawsuit, and the bailies being put in, and the linen being sold,--oh
10262 dear!--for I wasn't brought up in that way. I'm sure you remember my
10263 father, sir, for he was close friends with Squire Darleigh, and we
10264 allays went to the dances there, the Miss Dodsons,--nobody could be
10265 more looked on,--and justly, for there was four of us, and you're
10266 quite aware as Mrs. Glegg and Mrs. Deane are my sisters. And as for
10267 going to law and losing money, and having sales before you're dead, I
10268 never saw anything o' that before I was married, nor for a long while
10269 after. And I'm not to be answerable for my bad luck i' marrying out o'
10270 my own family into one where the goings-on was different. And as for
10271 being drawn in t' abuse you as other folks abuse you, sir, _that_ I
10272 niver was, and nobody can say it of me."
10273
10274 Mrs. Tulliver shook her head a little, and looked at the hem of her
10275 pocket-handkerchief.
10276
10277 "I've no doubt of what you say, Mrs. Tulliver," said Mr. Wakem, with
10278 cold politeness. "But you have some question to ask me?"
10279
10280 "Well, sir, yes. But that's what I've said to myself,--I've said you'd
10281 had some nat'ral feeling; and as for my husband, as hasn't been
10282 himself for this two months, I'm not a-defending him, in no way, for
10283 being so hot about th' erigation,--not but what there's worse men, for
10284 he never wronged nobody of a shilling nor a penny, not willingly; and
10285 as for his fieriness and lawing, what could I do? And him struck as if
10286 it was with death when he got the letter as said you'd the hold upo'
10287 the land. But I can't believe but what you'll behave as a gentleman."
10288
10289 "What does all this mean, Mrs. Tulliver?" said Mr. Wakem rather
10290 sharply. "What do you want to ask me?"
10291
10292 "Why, sir, if you'll be so good," said Mrs. Tulliver, starting a
10293 little, and speaking more hurriedly,--"if you'll be so good not to buy
10294 the mill an' the land,--the land wouldn't so much matter, only my
10295 husband ull' be like mad at your having it."
10296
10297 Something like a new thought flashed across Mr. Wakem's face as he
10298 said, "Who told you I meant to buy it?"
10299
10300 "Why, sir, it's none o' my inventing, and I should never ha' thought
10301 of it; for my husband, as ought to know about the law, he allays used
10302 to say as lawyers had never no call to buy anything,--either lands or
10303 houses,--for they allays got 'em into their hands other ways. An' I
10304 should think that 'ud be the way with you, sir; and I niver said as
10305 you'd be the man to do contrairy to that."
10306
10307 "Ah, well, who was it that _did_ say so?" said Wakem, opening his
10308 desk, and moving things about, with the accompaniment of an almost
10309 inaudible whistle.
10310
10311 "Why, sir, it was Mr. Glegg and Mr. Deane, as have all the management;
10312 and Mr. Deane thinks as Guest &Co. 'ud buy the mill and let Mr.
10313 Tulliver work it for 'em, if you didn't bid for it and raise the
10314 price. And it 'ud be such a thing for my husband to stay where he is,
10315 if he could get his living: for it was his father's before him, the
10316 mill was, and his grandfather built it, though I wasn't fond o' the
10317 noise of it, when first I was married, for there was no mills in our
10318 family,--not the Dodson's,--and if I'd known as the mills had so much
10319 to do with the law, it wouldn't have been me as 'ud have been the
10320 first Dodson to marry one; but I went into it blindfold, that I did,
10321 erigation and everything."
10322
10323 "What! Guest &Co. would keep the mill in their own hands, I suppose,
10324 and pay your husband wages?"
10325
10326 "Oh dear, sir, it's hard to think of," said poor Mrs. Tulliver, a
10327 little tear making its way, "as my husband should take wage. But it
10328 'ud look more like what used to be, to stay at the mill than to go
10329 anywhere else; and if you'll only think--if you was to bid for the
10330 mill and buy it, my husband might be struck worse than he was before,
10331 and niver get better again as he's getting now."
10332
10333 "Well, but if I bought the mill, and allowed your husband to act as my
10334 manager in the same way, how then?" said Mr. Wakem.
10335
10336 "Oh, sir, I doubt he could niver be got to do it, not if the very mill
10337 stood still to beg and pray of him. For your name's like poison to
10338 him, it's so as never was; and he looks upon it as you've been the
10339 ruin of him all along, ever since you set the law on him about the
10340 road through the meadow,--that's eight year ago, and he's been going
10341 on ever since--as I've allays told him he was wrong----"
10342
10343 "He's a pig-headed, foul-mouthed fool!" burst out Mr. Wakem,
10344 forgetting himself.
10345
10346 "Oh dear, sir!" said Mrs. Tulliver, frightened at a result so
10347 different from the one she had fixed her mind on; "I wouldn't wish to
10348 contradict you, but it's like enough he's changed his mind with this
10349 illness,--he's forgot a many things he used to talk about. And you
10350 wouldn't like to have a corpse on your mind, if he was to die; and
10351 they _do_ say as it's allays unlucky when Dorlcote Mill changes hands,
10352 and the water might all run away, and _then_--not as I'm wishing you
10353 any ill-luck, sir, for I forgot to tell you as I remember your wedding
10354 as if it was yesterday; Mrs. Wakem was a Miss Clint, I know _that;_
10355 and my boy, as there isn't a nicer, handsomer, straighter boy nowhere,
10356 went to school with your son----"
10357
10358 Mr. Wakem rose, opened the door, and called to one of his clerks.
10359
10360 "You must excuse me for interrupting you, Mrs. Tulliver; I have
10361 business that must be attended to; and I think there is nothing more
10362 necessary to be said."
10363
10364 "But if you _would_ bear it in mind, sir," said Mrs. Tulliver, rising,
10365 "and not run against me and my children; and I'm not denying Mr.
10366 Tulliver's been in the wrong, but he's been punished enough, and
10367 there's worse men, for it's been giving to other folks has been his
10368 fault. He's done nobody any harm but himself and his family,--the
10369 more's the pity,--and I go and look at the bare shelves every day, and
10370 think where all my things used to stand."
10371
10372 "Yes, yes, I'll bear it in mind," said Mr. Wakem, hastily, looking
10373 toward the open door.
10374
10375 "And if you'd please not to say as I've been to speak to you, for my
10376 son 'ud be very angry with me for demeaning myself, I know he would,
10377 and I've trouble enough without being scolded by my children."
10378
10379 Poor Mrs. Tulliver's voice trembled a little, and she could make no
10380 answer to the attorney's "good morning," but curtsied and walked out
10381 in silence.
10382
10383 "Which day is it that Dorlcote Mill is to be sold? Where's the bill?"
10384 said Mr. Wakem to his clerk when they were alone.
10385
10386 "Next Friday is the day,--Friday at six o'clock."
10387
10388 "Oh, just run to Winship's the auctioneer, and see if he's at home. I
10389 have some business for him; ask him to come up."
10390
10391 Although, when Mr. Wakem entered his office that morning, he had had
10392 no intention of purchasing Dorlcote Mill, his mind was already made
10393 up. Mrs. Tulliver had suggested to him several determining motives,
10394 and his mental glance was very rapid; he was one of those men who can
10395 be prompt without being rash, because their motives run in fixed
10396 tracks, and they have no need to reconcile conflicting aims.
10397
10398 To suppose that Wakem had the same sort of inveterate hatred toward
10399 Tulliver that Tulliver had toward him would be like supposing that a
10400 pike and a roach can look at each other from a similar point of view.
10401 The roach necessarily abhors the mode in which the pike gets his
10402 living, and the pike is likely to think nothing further even of the
10403 most indignant roach than that he is excellent good eating; it could
10404 only be when the roach choked him that the pike could entertain a
10405 strong personal animosity. If Mr. Tulliver had ever seriously injured
10406 or thwarted the attorney, Wakem would not have refused him the
10407 distinction of being a special object of his vindictiveness. But when
10408 Mr. Tulliver called Wakem a rascal at the market dinner-table, the
10409 attorneys' clients were not a whit inclined to withdraw their business
10410 from him; and if, when Wakem himself happened to be present, some
10411 jocose cattle-feeder, stimulated by opportunity and brandy, made a
10412 thrust at him by alluding to old ladies' wills, he maintained perfect
10413 _sang froid_, and knew quite well that the majority of substantial men
10414 then present were perfectly contented with the fact that "Wakem was
10415 Wakem"; that is to say, a man who always knew the stepping-stones that
10416 would carry him through very muddy bits of practice. A man who had
10417 made a large fortune, had a handsome house among the trees at Tofton,
10418 and decidedly the finest stock of port-wine in the neighborhood of St.
10419 Ogg's, was likely to feel himself on a level with public opinion. And
10420 I am not sure that even honest Mr. Tulliver himself, with his general
10421 view of law as a cockpit, might not, under opposite circumstances,
10422 have seen a fine appropriateness in the truth that "Wakem was Wakem";
10423 since I have understood from persons versed in history, that mankind
10424 is not disposed to look narrowly into the conduct of great victors
10425 when their victory is on the right side. Tulliver, then, could be no
10426 obstruction to Wakem; on the contrary, he was a poor devil whom the
10427 lawyer had defeated several times; a hot-tempered fellow, who would
10428 always give you a handle against him. Wakem's conscience was not
10429 uneasy because he had used a few tricks against the miller; why should
10430 he hate that unsuccessful plaintiff, that pitiable, furious bull
10431 entangled in the meshes of a net?
10432
10433 Still, among the various excesses to which human nature is subject,
10434 moralists have never numbered that of being too fond of the people who
10435 openly revile us. The successful Yellow candidate for the borough of
10436 Old Topping, perhaps, feels no pursuant meditative hatred toward the
10437 Blue editor who consoles his subscribers with vituperative rhetoric
10438 against Yellow men who sell their country, and are the demons of
10439 private life; but he might not be sorry, if law and opportunity
10440 favored, to kick that Blue editor to a deeper shade of his favorite
10441 color. Prosperous men take a little vengeance now and then, as they
10442 take a diversion, when it comes easily in their way, and is no
10443 hindrance to business; and such small unimpassioned revenges have an
10444 enormous effect in life, running through all degrees of pleasant
10445 infliction, blocking the fit men out of places, and blackening
10446 characters in unpremeditated talk. Still more, to see people who have
10447 been only insignificantly offensive to us reduced in life and
10448 humiliated, without any special effort of ours, is apt to have a
10449 soothing, flattering influence. Providence or some other prince of
10450 this world, it appears, has undertaken the task of retribution for us;
10451 and really, by an agreeable constitution of things, our enemies
10452 somehow _don't_ prosper.
10453
10454 Wakem was not without this parenthetic vindictiveness toward the
10455 uncomplimentary miller; and now Mrs. Tulliver had put the notion into
10456 his head, it presented itself to him as a pleasure to do the very
10457 thing that would cause Mr. Tulliver the most deadly mortification,--
10458 and a pleasure of a complex kind, not made up of crude malice, but
10459 mingling with it the relish of self-approbation. To see an enemy
10460 humiliated gives a certain contentment, but this is jejune compared
10461 with the highly blent satisfaction of seeing him humiliated by your
10462 benevolent action or concession on his behalf. That is a sort of
10463 revenge which falls into the scale of virtue, and Wakem was not without
10464 an intention of keeping that scale respectably filled. He had once
10465 had the pleasure of putting an old enemy of his into one of the St.
10466 Ogg's alms-houses, to the rebuilding of which he had given a large
10467 subscription; and here was an opportunity of providing for another by
10468 making him his own servant. Such things give a completeness to
10469 prosperity, and contribute elements of agreeable consciousness that
10470 are not dreamed of by that short-sighted, overheated vindictiveness
10471 which goes out its way to wreak itself in direct injury. And Tulliver,
10472 with his rough tongue filed by a sense of obligation, would make a
10473 better servant than any chance-fellow who was cap-in-hand for a
10474 situation. Tulliver was known to be a man of proud honesty, and Wakem
10475 was too acute not to believe in the existence of honesty. He was given
10476 too observing individuals, not to judging of them according to maxims,
10477 and no one knew better than he that all men were not like himself.
10478 Besides, he intended to overlook the whole business of land and mill
10479 pretty closely; he was fond of these practical rural matters. But
10480 there were good reasons for purchasing Dorlcote Mill, quite apart from
10481 any benevolent vengeance on the miller. It was really a capital
10482 investment; besides, Guest &Co. were going to bid for it. Mr. Guest
10483 and Mr. Wakem were on friendly dining terms, and the attorney liked to
10484 predominate over a ship-owner and mill-owner who was a little too loud
10485 in the town affairs as well as in his table-talk. For Wakem was not a
10486 mere man of business; he was considered a pleasant fellow in the upper
10487 circles of St. Ogg's--chatted amusingly over his port-wine, did a
10488 little amateur farming, and had certainly been an excellent husband
10489 and father; at church, when he went there, he sat under the handsomest
10490 of mural monuments erected to the memory of his wife. Most men would
10491 have married again under his circumstances, but he was said to be more
10492 tender to his deformed son than most men were to their best-shapen
10493 offspring. Not that Mr. Wakem had not other sons beside Philip; but
10494 toward them he held only a chiaroscuro parentage, and provided for
10495 them in a grade of life duly beneath his own. In this fact, indeed,
10496 there lay the clenching motive to the purchase of Dorlcote Mill. While
10497 Mrs. Tulliver was talking, it had occurred to the rapid-minded lawyer,
10498 among all the other circumstances of the case, that this purchase
10499 would, in a few years to come, furnish a highly suitable position for
10500 a certain favorite lad whom he meant to bring on in the world.
10501
10502 These were the mental conditions on which Mrs. Tulliver had undertaken
10503 to act persuasively, and had failed; a fact which may receive some
10504 illustration from the remark of a great philosopher, that fly-fishers
10505 fail in preparing their bait so as to make it alluring in the right
10506 quarter, for want of a due acquaintance with the subjectivity of
10507 fishes.
10508
10509
10510
10511 Chapter VIII
10512
10513 Daylight on the Wreck
10514
10515
10516 It was a clear frosty January day on which Mr. Tulliver first came
10517 downstairs. The bright sun on the chestnut boughs and the roofs
10518 opposite his window had made him impatiently declare that he would be
10519 caged up no longer; he thought everywhere would be more cheery under
10520 this sunshine than his bedroom; for he knew nothing of the bareness
10521 below, which made the flood of sunshine importunate, as if it had an
10522 unfeeling pleasure in showing the empty places, and the marks where
10523 well-known objects once had been. The impression on his mind that it
10524 was but yesterday when he received the letter from Mr. Gore was so
10525 continually implied in his talk, and the attempts to convey to him the
10526 idea that many weeks had passed and much had happened since then had
10527 been so soon swept away by recurrent forgetfulness, that even Mr.
10528 Turnbull had begun to despair of preparing him to meet the facts by
10529 previous knowledge. The full sense of the present could only be
10530 imparted gradually by new experience,--not by mere words, which must
10531 remain weaker than the impressions left by the _old_ experience. This
10532 resolution to come downstairs was heard with trembling by the wife and
10533 children. Mrs. Tulliver said Tom must not go to St. Ogg's at the usual
10534 hour, he must wait and see his father downstairs; and Tom complied,
10535 though with an intense inward shrinking from the painful scene. The
10536 hearts of all three had been more deeply dejected than ever during the
10537 last few days. For Guest & Co. had not bought the mill; both mill and
10538 land had been knocked down to Wakem, who had been over the premises,
10539 and had laid before Mr. Deane and Mr. Glegg, in Mrs. Tulliver's
10540 presence, his willingness to employ Mr. Tulliver, in case of his
10541 recovery, as a manager of the business. This proposition had
10542 occasioned much family debating. Uncles and aunts were almost
10543 unanimously of opinion that such an offer ought not to be rejected
10544 when there was nothing in the way but a feeling in Mr. Tulliver's
10545 mind, which, as neither aunts nor uncles shared it, was regarded as
10546 entirely unreasonable and childish,--indeed, as a transferring toward
10547 Wakem of that indignation and hatred which Mr. Tulliver ought properly
10548 to have directed against himself for his general quarrelsomeness, and
10549 his special exhibition of it in going to law. Here was an opportunity
10550 for Mr. Tulliver to provide for his wife and daughter without any
10551 assistance from his wife's relations, and without that too evident
10552 descent into pauperism which makes it annoying to respectable people
10553 to meet the degraded member of the family by the wayside. Mr.
10554 Tulliver, Mrs. Glegg considered, must be made to feel, when he came to
10555 his right mind, that he could never humble himself enough; for _that_
10556 had come which she had always foreseen would come of his insolence in
10557 time past "to them as were the best friends he'd got to look to." Mr
10558 Glegg and Mr. Deane were less stern in their views, but they both of
10559 them thought Tulliver had done enough harm by his hot-tempered
10560 crotchets and ought to put them out of the question when a livelihood
10561 was offered him; Wakem showed a right feeling about the matter,--_he_
10562 had no grudge against Tulliver.
10563
10564 Tom had protested against entertaining the proposition. He shouldn't
10565 like his father to be under Wakem; he thought it would look
10566 mean-spirited; but his mother's main distress was the utter
10567 impossibility of ever "turning Mr. Tulliver round about Wakem," or
10568 getting him to hear reason; no, they would all have to go and live in
10569 a pigsty on purpose to spite Wakem, who spoke "so as nobody could be
10570 fairer." Indeed, Mrs. Tulliver's mind was reduced to such confusion by
10571 living in this strange medium of unaccountable sorrow, against which
10572 she continually appealed by asking, "Oh dear, what _have_ I done to
10573 deserve worse than other women?" that Maggie began to suspect her poor
10574 mother's wits were quite going.
10575
10576 "Tom," she said, when they were out of their father's room together,
10577 "we _must_ try to make father understand a little of what has happened
10578 before he goes downstairs. But we must get my mother away. She will
10579 say something that will do harm. Ask Kezia to fetch her down, and keep
10580 her engaged with something in the kitchen."
10581
10582 Kezia was equal to the task. Having declared her intention of staying
10583 till the master could get about again, "wage or no wage," she had
10584 found a certain recompense in keeping a strong hand over her mistress,
10585 scolding her for "moithering" herself, and going about all day without
10586 changing her cap, and looking as if she was "mushed." Altogether, this
10587 time of trouble was rather a Saturnalian time to Kezia; she could
10588 scold her betters with unreproved freedom. On this particular occasion
10589 there were drying clothes to be fetched in; she wished to know if one
10590 pair of hands could do everything in-doors and out, and observed that
10591 _she_ should have thought it would be good for Mrs. Tulliver to put on
10592 her bonnet, and get a breath of fresh air by doing that needful piece
10593 of work. Poor Mrs. Tulliver went submissively downstairs; to be
10594 ordered about by a servant was the last remnant of her household
10595 dignities,--she would soon have no servant to scold her. Mr. Tulliver
10596 was resting in his chair a little after the fatigue of dressing, and
10597 Maggie and Tom were seated near him, when Luke entered to ask if he
10598 should help master downstairs.
10599
10600 "Ay, ay, Luke; stop a bit, sit down," said Mr. Tulliver pointing his
10601 stick toward a chair, and looking at him with that pursuant gaze which
10602 convalescent persons often have for those who have tended them,
10603 reminding one of an infant gazing about after its nurse. For Luke had
10604 been a constant night-watcher by his master's bed.
10605
10606 "How's the water now, eh, Luke?" said Mr. Tulliver. "Dix hasn't been
10607 choking you up again, eh?"
10608
10609 "No, sir, it's all right."
10610
10611 "Ay, I thought not; he won't be in a hurry at that again, now Riley's
10612 been to settle him. That was what I said to Riley yesterday--I
10613 said----"
10614
10615 Mr. Tulliver leaned forward, resting his elbows on the armchair, and
10616 looking on the ground as if in search of something, striving after
10617 vanishing images like a man struggling against a doze. Maggie looked
10618 at Tom in mute distress, their father's mind was so far off the
10619 present, which would by-and-by thrust itself on his wandering
10620 consciousness! Tom was almost ready to rush away, with that impatience
10621 of painful emotion which makes one of the differences between youth
10622 and maiden, man and woman.
10623
10624 "Father," said Maggie, laying her hand on his, "don't you remember
10625 that Mr. Riley is dead?"
10626
10627 "Dead?" said Mr. Tulliver, sharply, looking in her face with a
10628 strange, examining glance.
10629
10630 "Yes, he died of apoplexy nearly a year ago. I remember hearing you
10631 say you had to pay money for him; and he left his daughters badly off;
10632 one of them is under-teacher at Miss Firniss's, where I've been to
10633 school, you know."
10634
10635 "Ah?" said her father, doubtfully, still looking in her face. But as
10636 soon as Tom began to speak he turned to look at _him_ with the same
10637 inquiring glances, as if he were rather surprised at the presence of
10638 these two young people. Whenever his mind was wandering in the far
10639 past, he fell into this oblivion of their actual faces; they were not
10640 those of the lad and the little wench who belonged to that past.
10641
10642 "It's a long while since you had the dispute with Dix, father," said
10643 Tom. "I remember your talking about it three years ago, before I went
10644 to school at Mr. Stelling's. I've been at school there three years;
10645 don't you remember?"
10646
10647 Mr. Tulliver threw himself backward again, losing the childlike
10648 outward glance under a rush of new ideas, which diverted him from
10649 external impressions.
10650
10651 "Ay, ay," he said, after a minute or two, "I've paid a deal o'
10652 money--I was determined my son should have a good eddication; I'd none
10653 myself, and I've felt the miss of it. And he'll want no other fortin,
10654 that's what I say--if Wakem was to get the better of me again----"
10655
10656 The thought of Wakem roused new vibrations, and after a moment's pause
10657 he began to look at the coat he had on, and to feel in his
10658 side-pocket. Then he turned to Tom, and said in his old sharp way,
10659 "Where have they put Gore's letter?"
10660
10661 It was close at hand in a drawer, for he had often asked for it
10662 before.
10663
10664 "You know what there is in the letter, father?" said Tom, as he gave
10665 it to him.
10666
10667 "To be sure I do," said Mr. Tulliver, rather angrily. "What o' that?
10668 If Furley can't take to the property, somebody else can; there's
10669 plenty o' people in the world besides Furley. But it's hindering--my
10670 not being well--go and tell 'em to get the horse in the gig, Luke; I
10671 can get down to St. Ogg's well enough--Gore's expecting me."
10672
10673 "No, dear father!" Maggie burst out entreatingly; "it's a very long
10674 while since all that; you've been ill a great many weeks,--more than
10675 two months; everything is changed."
10676
10677 Mr. Tulliver looked at them all three alternately with a startled
10678 gaze; the idea that much had happened of which he knew nothing had
10679 often transiently arrested him before, but it came upon him now with
10680 entire novelty.
10681
10682 "Yes, father," said Tom, in answer to the gaze. "You needn't trouble
10683 your mind about business until you are quite well; everything is
10684 settled about that for the present,--about the mill and the land and
10685 the debts."
10686
10687 "What's settled, then?" said his father, angrily.
10688
10689 "Don't you take on too much bout it, sir," said Luke. "You'd ha' paid
10690 iverybody if you could,--that's what I said to Master Tom,--I said
10691 you'd ha' paid iverybody if you could."
10692
10693 Good Luke felt, after the manner of contented hard-working men whose
10694 lives have been spent in servitude, that sense of natural fitness in
10695 rank which made his master's downfall a tragedy to him. He was urged,
10696 in his slow way, to say something that would express his share in the
10697 family sorrow; and these words, which he had used over and over again
10698 to Tom when he wanted to decline the full payment of his fifty pounds
10699 out of the children's money, were the most ready to his tongue. They
10700 were just the words to lay the most painful hold on his master's
10701 bewildered mind.
10702
10703 "Paid everybody?" he said, with vehement agitation, his face flushing,
10704 and his eye lighting up. "Why--what--have they made me a _bankrupt?_"
10705
10706 "Oh, father, dear father!" said Maggie, who thought that terrible word
10707 really represented the fact; "bear it well, because we love you; your
10708 children will always love you. Tom will pay them all; he says he will,
10709 when he's a man."
10710
10711 She felt her father beginning to tremble; his voice trembled too, as
10712 he said, after a few moments:
10713
10714 "Ay, my little wench, but I shall never live twice o'er."
10715
10716 "But perhaps you will live to see me pay everybody, father," said Tom,
10717 speaking with a great effort.
10718
10719 "Ah, my lad," said Mr. Tulliver, shaking his head slowly, "but what's
10720 broke can never be whole again; it 'ud be your doing, not mine." Then
10721 looking up at him, "You're only sixteen; it's an up-hill fight for
10722 you, but you mustn't throw it at your father; the raskills have been
10723 too many for him. I've given you a good eddication,--that'll start
10724 you."
10725
10726 Something in his throat half choked the last words; the flush, which
10727 had alarmed his children because it had so often preceded a recurrence
10728 of paralysis, had subsided, and his face looked pale and tremulous.
10729 Tom said nothing; he was still struggling against his inclination to
10730 rush away. His father remained quiet a minute or two, but his mind did
10731 not seem to be wandering again.
10732
10733 "Have they sold me up, then?" he said more calmly, as if he were
10734 possessed simply by the desire to know what had happened.
10735
10736 "Everything is sold, father; but we don't know all about the mill and
10737 the land yet," said Tom, anxious to ward off any question leading to
10738 the fact that Wakem was the purchaser.
10739
10740 "You must not be surprised to see the room look very bare downstairs,
10741 father," said Maggie; "but there's your chair and the bureau;
10742 _they're_ not gone."
10743
10744 "Let us go; help me down, Luke,--I'll go and see everything," said Mr.
10745 Tulliver, leaning on his stick, and stretching out his other hand
10746 toward Luke.
10747
10748 "Ay, sir," said Luke, as he gave his arm to his master, "you'll make
10749 up your mind to't a bit better when you've seen iverything; you'll get
10750 used to't. That's what my mother says about her shortness o'
10751 breath,--she says she's made friends wi't now, though she fought
10752 again' it sore when it just come on."
10753
10754 Maggie ran on before to see that all was right in the dreary parlor,
10755 where the fire, dulled by the frosty sunshine, seemed part of the
10756 general shabbiness. She turned her father's chair, and pushed aside
10757 the table to make an easy way for him, and then stood with a beating
10758 heart to see him enter and look round for the first time. Tom advanced
10759 before him, carrying the leg-rest, and stood beside Maggie on the
10760 hearth. Of those two young hearts Tom's suffered the most unmixed
10761 pain, for Maggie, with all her keen susceptibility, yet felt as if the
10762 sorrow made larger room for her love to flow in, and gave
10763 breathing-space to her passionate nature. No true boy feels that; he
10764 would rather go and slay the Nemean lion, or perform any round of
10765 heroic labors, than endure perpetual appeals to his pity, for evils
10766 over which he can make no conquest.
10767
10768 Mr. Tulliver paused just inside the door, resting on Luke, and looking
10769 round him at all the bare places, which for him were filled with the
10770 shadows of departed objects,--the daily companions of his life. His
10771 faculties seemed to be renewing their strength from getting a footing
10772 on this demonstration of the senses.
10773
10774 "Ah!" he said slowly, moving toward his chair, "they've sold me
10775 up--they've sold me up."
10776
10777 Then seating himself, and laying down his stick, while Luke left the
10778 room, he looked round again.
10779
10780 "They've left the big Bible," he said. "It's got everything in,--when
10781 I was born and married; bring it me, Tom."
10782
10783 The quarto Bible was laid open before him at the fly-leaf, and while
10784 he was reading with slowly travelling eyes Mrs. Tulliver entered the
10785 room, but stood in mute surprise to find her husband down already, and
10786 with the great Bible before him.
10787
10788 "Ah," he said, looking at a spot where his finger rested, "my mother
10789 was Margaret Beaton; she died when she was forty-seven,--hers wasn't a
10790 long-lived family; we're our mother's children, Gritty and me are,--we
10791 shall go to our last bed before long."
10792
10793 He seemed to be pausing over the record of his sister's birth and
10794 marriage, as if it were suggesting new thoughts to him; then he
10795 suddenly looked up at Tom, and said, in a sharp tone of alarm:
10796
10797 "They haven't come upo' Moss for the money as I lent him, have they?"
10798
10799 "No, father," said Tom; "the note was burnt."
10800
10801 Mr. Tulliver turned his eyes on the page again, and presently said:
10802
10803 "Ah--Elizabeth Dodson--it's eighteen year since I married her----"
10804
10805 "Come next Ladyday," said Mrs. Tulliver, going up to his side and
10806 looking at the page.
10807
10808 Her husband fixed his eyes earnestly on her face.
10809
10810 "Poor Bessy," he said, "you was a pretty lass then,--everybody said
10811 so,--and I used to think you kept your good looks rarely. But you're
10812 sorely aged; don't you bear me ill-will--I meant to do well by you--we
10813 promised one another for better or for worse----"
10814
10815 "But I never thought it 'ud be so for worse as this," said poor Mrs.
10816 Tulliver, with the strange, scared look that had come over her of
10817 late; "and my poor father gave me away--and to come on so all at
10818 once----"
10819
10820 "Oh, mother!" said Maggie, "don't talk in that way."
10821
10822 "No, I know you won't let your poor mother speak--that's been the way
10823 all my life--your father never minded what I said--it 'ud have been o'
10824 no use for me to beg and pray--and it 'ud be no use now, not if I was
10825 to go down o' my hands and knees----"
10826
10827 "Don't say so, Bessy," said Mr. Tulliver, whose pride, in these first
10828 moments of humiliation, was in abeyance to the sense of some justice
10829 in his wife's reproach. "It there's anything left as I could do to
10830 make you amends, I wouldn't say you nay."
10831
10832 "Then we might stay here and get a living, and I might keep among my
10833 own sisters,--and me been such a good wife to you, and never crossed
10834 you from week's end to week's end--and they all say so--they say it
10835 'ud be nothing but right, only you're so turned against Wakem."
10836
10837 "Mother," said Tom, severely, "this is not the time to talk about
10838 that."
10839
10840 "Let her be," said Mr. Tulliver. "Say what you mean, Bessy."
10841
10842 "Why, now the mill and the land's all Wakem's, and he's got everything
10843 in his hands, what's the use o' setting your face against him, when he
10844 says you may stay here, and speaks as fair as can be, and says you may
10845 manage the business, and have thirty shillings a-week, and a horse to
10846 ride about to market? And where have we got to put our heads? We must
10847 go into one o' the cottages in the village,--and me and my children
10848 brought down to that,--and all because you must set your mind against
10849 folks till there's no turning you."
10850
10851 Mr. Tulliver had sunk back in his chair trembling.
10852
10853 "You may do as you like wi' me, Bessy," he said, in a low voice; "I've
10854 been the bringing of you to poverty--this world's too many for me--I'm
10855 nought but a bankrupt; it's no use standing up for anything now."
10856
10857 "Father," said Tom, "I don't agree with my mother or my uncles, and I
10858 don't think you ought to submit to be under Wakem. I get a pound
10859 a-week now, and you can find something else to do when you get well."
10860
10861 "Say no more, Tom, say no more; I've had enough for this day. Give me
10862 a kiss, Bessy, and let us bear one another no ill-will; we shall never
10863 be young again--this world's been too many for me."
10864
10865
10866
10867 Chapter IX
10868
10869 An Item Added to the Family Register
10870
10871
10872 That first moment of renunciation and submission was followed by days
10873 of violent struggle in the miller's mind, as the gradual access of
10874 bodily strength brought with it increasing ability to embrace in one
10875 view all the conflicting conditions under which he found himself.
10876 Feeble limbs easily resign themselves to be tethered, and when we are
10877 subdued by sickness it seems possible to us to fulfil pledges which
10878 the old vigor comes back and breaks. There were times when poor
10879 Tulliver thought the fulfilment of his promise to Bessy was something
10880 quite too hard for human nature; he had promised her without knowing
10881 what she was going to say,--she might as well have asked him to carry
10882 a ton weight on his back. But again, there were many feelings arguing
10883 on her side, besides the sense that life had been made hard to her by
10884 having married him. He saw a possibility, by much pinching, of saving
10885 money out of his salary toward paying a second dividend to his
10886 creditors, and it would not be easy elsewhere to get a situation such
10887 as he could fill.
10888
10889 He had led an easy life, ordering much and working little, and had no
10890 aptitude for any new business. He must perhaps take to day-labor, and
10891 his wife must have help from her sisters,--a prospect doubly bitter to
10892 him, now they had let all Bessy's precious things be sold, probably
10893 because they liked to set her against him, by making her feel that he
10894 had brought her to that pass. He listened to their admonitory talk,
10895 when they came to urge on him what he was bound to do for poor Bessy's
10896 sake, with averted eyes, that every now and then flashed on them
10897 furtively when their backs were turned. Nothing but the dread of
10898 needing their help could have made it an easier alternative to take
10899 their advice.
10900
10901 But the strongest influence of all was the love of the old premises
10902 where he had run about when he was a boy, just as Tom had done after
10903 him. The Tullivers had lived on this spot for generations, and he had
10904 sat listening on a low stool on winter evenings while his father
10905 talked of the old half-timbered mill that had been there before the
10906 last great floods which damaged it so that his grandfather pulled it
10907 down and built the new one. It was when he got able to walk about and
10908 look at all the old objects that he felt the strain of his clinging
10909 affection for the old home as part of his life, part of himself. He
10910 couldn't bear to think of himself living on any other spot than this,
10911 where he knew the sound of every gate door, and felt that the shape
10912 and color of every roof and weather-stain and broken hillock was good,
10913 because his growing senses had been fed on them. Our instructed
10914 vagrancy, which was hardly time to linger by the hedgerows, but runs
10915 away early to the tropics, and is at home with palms and
10916 banyans,--which is nourished on books of travel and stretches the
10917 theatre of its imagination to the Zambesi,--can hardly get a dim
10918 notion of what an old-fashioned man like Tulliver felt for this spot,
10919 where all his memories centred, and where life seemed like a familiar
10920 smooth-handled tool that the fingers clutch with loving ease. And just
10921 now he was living in that freshened memory of the far-off time which
10922 comes to us in the passive hours of recovery from sickness.
10923
10924 "Ay, Luke," he said one afternoon, as he stood looking over the
10925 orchard gate, "I remember the day they planted those apple-trees. My
10926 father was a huge man for planting,--it was like a merry-making to him
10927 to get a cart full o' young trees; and I used to stand i' the cold
10928 with him, and follow him about like a dog."
10929
10930 Then he turned round, and leaning against the gate-post, looked at the
10931 opposite buildings.
10932
10933 "The old mill 'ud miss me, I think, Luke. There's a story as when the
10934 mill changes hands, the river's angry; I've heard my father say it
10935 many a time. There's no telling whether there mayn't be summat _in_
10936 the story, for this is a puzzling world, and Old Harry's got a finger
10937 in it--it's been too many for me, I know."
10938
10939 "Ay, sir," said Luke, with soothing sympathy, "what wi' the rust on
10940 the wheat, an' the firin' o' the ricks an' that, as I've seen i' my
10941 time,--things often looks comical; there's the bacon fat wi' our last
10942 pig run away like butter,--it leaves nought but a scratchin'."
10943
10944 "It's just as if it was yesterday, now," Mr. Tulliver went on, "when
10945 my father began the malting. I remember, the day they finished the
10946 malt-house, I thought summat great was to come of it; for we'd a
10947 plum-pudding that day and a bit of a feast, and I said to my
10948 mother,--she was a fine dark-eyed woman, my mother was,--the little
10949 wench 'ull be as like her as two peas." Here Mr. Tulliver put his
10950 stick between his legs, and took out his snuff-box, for the greater
10951 enjoyment of this anecdote, which dropped from him in fragments, as if
10952 he every other moment lost narration in vision. "I was a little chap
10953 no higher much than my mother's knee,--she was sore fond of us
10954 children, Gritty and me,--and so I said to her, 'Mother,' I said,
10955 'shall we have plum-pudding _every_ day because o' the malt-house? She
10956 used to tell me o' that till her dying day. She was but a young woman
10957 when she died, my mother was. But it's forty good year since they
10958 finished the malt-house, and it isn't many days out of 'em all as I
10959 haven't looked out into the yard there, the first thing in the
10960 morning,--all weathers, from year's end to year's end. I should go off
10961 my head in a new place. I should be like as if I'd lost my way. It's
10962 all hard, whichever way I look at it,--the harness 'ull gall me, but
10963 it 'ud be summat to draw along the old road, instead of a new un."
10964
10965 "Ay, sir," said Luke, "you'd be a deal better here nor in some new
10966 place. I can't abide new places mysen: things is allays
10967 awk'ard,--narrow-wheeled waggins, belike, and the stiles all another
10968 sort, an' oat-cake i' some places, tow'rt th' head o' the Floss,
10969 there. It's poor work, changing your country-side."
10970
10971 "But I doubt, Luke, they'll be for getting rid o' Ben, and making you
10972 do with a lad; and I must help a bit wi' the mill. You'll have a worse
10973 place."
10974
10975 "Ne'er mind, sir," said Luke, "I sha'n't plague mysen. I'n been wi'
10976 you twenty year, an' you can't get twenty year wi' whistlin' for 'em,
10977 no more nor you can make the trees grow: you mun wait till God
10978 A'mighty sends 'em. I can't abide new victual nor new faces, _I_
10979 can't,--you niver know but what they'll gripe you."
10980
10981 The walk was finished in silence after this, for Luke had disburthened
10982 himself of thoughts to an extent that left his conversational
10983 resources quite barren, and Mr. Tulliver had relapsed from his
10984 recollections into a painful meditation on the choice of hardships
10985 before him. Maggie noticed that he was unusually absent that evening
10986 at tea; and afterward he sat leaning forward in his chair, looking at
10987 the ground, moving his lips, and shaking his head from time to time.
10988 Then he looked hard at Mrs. Tulliver, who was knitting opposite him,
10989 then at Maggie, who, as she bent over her sewing, was intensely
10990 conscious of some drama going forward in her father's mind. Suddenly
10991 he took up the poker and broke the large coal fiercely.
10992
10993 "Dear heart, Mr. Tulliver, what can you be thinking of?" said his
10994 wife, looking up in alarm; "it's very wasteful, breaking the coal, and
10995 we've got hardly any large coal left, and I don't know where the rest
10996 is to come from."
10997
10998 "I don't think you're quite so well to-night, are you, father?" said
10999 Maggie; "you seem uneasy."
11000
11001 "Why, how is it Tom doesn't come?" said Mr. Tulliver, impatiently.
11002
11003 "Dear heart, is it time? I must go and get his supper," said Mrs.
11004 Tulliver, laying down her knitting, and leaving the room.
11005
11006 "It's nigh upon half-past eight," said Mr. Tulliver. "He'll be here
11007 soon. Go, go and get the big Bible, and open it at the beginning,
11008 where everything's set down. And get the pen and ink."
11009
11010 Maggie obeyed, wondering; but her father gave no further orders, and
11011 only sat listening for Tom's footfall on the gravel, apparently
11012 irritated by the wind, which had risen, and was roaring so as to drown
11013 all other sounds. There was a strange light in his eyes that rather
11014 frightened Maggie; _she_ began to wish that Tom would come, too.
11015
11016 "There he is, then," said Mr. Tulliver, in an excited way, when the
11017 knock came at last. Maggie went to open the door, but her mother came
11018 out of the kitchen hurriedly, saying, "Stop a bit, Maggie; I'll open
11019 it."
11020
11021 Mrs. Tulliver had begun to be a little frightened at her boy, but she
11022 was jealous of every office others did for him.
11023
11024 "Your supper's ready by the kitchen-fire, my boy," she said, as he
11025 took off his hat and coat. "You shall have it by yourself, just as you
11026 like, and I won't speak to you."
11027
11028 "I think my father wants Tom, mother," said Maggie; "he must come into
11029 the parlor first."
11030
11031 Tom entered with his usual saddened evening face, but his eyes fell
11032 immediately on the open Bible and the inkstand, and he glanced with a
11033 look of anxious surprise at his father, who was saying,--
11034
11035 "Come, come, you're late; I want you."
11036
11037 "Is there anything the matter, father?" said Tom.
11038
11039 "You sit down, all of you," said Mr. Tulliver, peremptorily.
11040
11041 "And, Tom, sit down here; I've got something for you to write i' the
11042 Bible."
11043
11044 They all three sat down, looking at him. He began to speak slowly,
11045 looking first at his wife.
11046
11047 "I've made up my mind, Bessy, and I'll be as good as my word to you.
11048 There'll be the same grave made for us to lie down in, and we mustn't
11049 be bearing one another ill-will. I'll stop in the old place, and I'll
11050 serve under Wakem, and I'll serve him like an honest man; there's no
11051 Tulliver but what's honest, mind that, Tom,"--here his voice
11052 rose,--"they'll have it to throw up against me as I paid a dividend,
11053 but it wasn't my fault; it was because there's raskills in the world.
11054 They've been too many for me, and I must give in. I'll put my neck in
11055 harness,--for you've a right to say as I've brought you into trouble,
11056 Bessy,--and I'll serve him as honest as if he was no raskill; I'm an
11057 honest man, though I shall never hold my head up no more. I'm a tree
11058 as is broke--a tree as is broke."
11059
11060 He paused and looked on the ground. Then suddenly raising his head, he
11061 said, in a louder yet deeper tone:
11062
11063 "But I won't forgive him! I know what they say, he never meant me any
11064 harm. That's the way Old Harry props up the rascals. He's been at the
11065 bottom of everything; but he's a fine gentleman,--I know, I know. I
11066 shouldn't ha' gone to law, they say. But who made it so as there was
11067 no arbitratin', and no justice to be got? It signifies nothing to him,
11068 I know that; he's one o' them fine gentlemen as get money by doing
11069 business for poorer folks, and when he's made beggars of 'em he'll
11070 give 'em charity. I won't forgive him! I wish he might be punished
11071 with shame till his own son 'ud like to forget him. I wish he may do
11072 summat as they'd make him work at the treadmill! But he won't,--he's
11073 too big a raskill to let the law lay hold on him. And you mind this,
11074 Tom,--you never forgive him neither, if you mean to be my son.
11075 There'll maybe come a time when you may make him feel; it'll never
11076 come to me; I'n got my head under the yoke. Now write--write it i' the
11077 Bible."
11078
11079 "Oh, father, what?" said Maggie, sinking down by his knee, pale and
11080 trembling. "It's wicked to curse and bear malice."
11081
11082 "It isn't wicked, I tell you," said her father, fiercely. "It's wicked
11083 as the raskills should prosper; it's the Devil's doing. Do as I tell
11084 you, Tom. Write."
11085
11086 "What am I to write?" said Tom, with gloomy submission.
11087
11088 "Write as your father, Edward Tulliver, took service under John Wakem,
11089 the man as had helped to ruin him, because I'd promised my wife to
11090 make her what amends I could for her trouble, and because I wanted to
11091 die in th' old place where I was born and my father was born. Put that
11092 i' the right words--you know how--and then write, as I don't forgive
11093 Wakem for all that; and for all I'll serve him honest, I wish evil may
11094 befall him. Write that."
11095
11096 There was a dead silence as Tom's pen moved along the paper; Mrs.
11097 Tulliver looked scared, and Maggie trembled like a leaf.
11098
11099 "Now let me hear what you've wrote," said Mr. Tulliver, Tom read aloud
11100 slowly.
11101
11102 "Now write--write as you'll remember what Wakem's done to your father,
11103 and you'll make him and his feel it, if ever the day comes. And sign
11104 your name Thomas Tulliver."
11105
11106 "Oh no, father, dear father!" said Maggie, almost choked with fear.
11107 "You shouldn't make Tom write that."
11108
11109 "Be quiet, Maggie!" said Tom. "I _shall_ write it."
11110
11111
11112
11113
11114 Book IV
11115
11116 _The Valley of Humiliation_
11117
11118
11119
11120 Chapter I
11121
11122 A Variation of Protestantism Unknown to Bossuet
11123
11124
11125 Journeying down the Rhone on a summer's day, you have perhaps felt the
11126 sunshine made dreary by those ruined villages which stud the banks in
11127 certain parts of its course, telling how the swift river once rose,
11128 like an angry, destroying god, sweeping down the feeble generations
11129 whose breath is in their nostrils, and making their dwellings a
11130 desolation. Strange contrast, you may have thought, between the
11131 effect produced on us by these dismal remnants of commonplace
11132 houses, which in their best days were but the sign of a sordid life,
11133 belonging in all its details to our own vulgar era, and the effect
11134 produced by those ruins on the castled Rhine, which have crumbled and
11135 mellowed into such harmony with the green and rocky steeps that they
11136 seem to have a natural fitness, like the mountain-pine; nay, even in
11137 the day when they were built they must have had this fitness, as if
11138 they had been raised by an earth-born race, who had inherited from
11139 their mighty parent a sublime instinct of form. And that was a day of
11140 romance; If those robber-barons were somewhat grim and drunken ogres,
11141 they had a certain grandeur of the wild beast in them,--they were
11142 forest boars with tusks, tearing and rending, not the ordinary
11143 domestic grunter; they represented the demon forces forever in
11144 collision with beauty, virtue, and the gentle uses of life; they made
11145 a fine contrast in the picture with the wandering minstrel, the
11146 soft-lipped princess, the pious recluse, and the timid Israelite. That
11147 was a time of color, when the sunlight fell on glancing steel and
11148 floating banners; a time of adventure and fierce struggle,--nay, of
11149 living, religious art and religious enthusiasm; for were not
11150 cathedrals built in those days, and did not great emperors leave their
11151 Western palaces to die before the infidel strongholds in the sacred
11152 East? Therefore it is that these Rhine castles thrill me with a sense
11153 of poetry; they belong to the grand historic life of humanity, and
11154 raise up for me the vision of an echo. But these dead-tinted,
11155 hollow-eyed, angular skeletons of villages on the Rhone oppress me
11156 with the feeling that human life--very much of it--is a narrow, ugly,
11157 grovelling existence, which even calamity does not elevate, but rather
11158 tends to exhibit in all its bare vulgarity of conception; and I have a
11159 cruel conviction that the lives these ruins are the traces of were
11160 part of a gross sum of obscure vitality, that will be swept into the
11161 same oblivion with the generations of ants and beavers.
11162
11163 Perhaps something akin to this oppressive feeling may have weighed
11164 upon you in watching this old-fashioned family life on the banks of
11165 the Floss, which even sorrow hardly suffices to lift above the level
11166 of the tragi-comic. It is a sordid life, you say, this of the
11167 Tullivers and Dodsons, irradiated by no sublime principles, no
11168 romantic visions, no active, self-renouncing faith; moved by none of
11169 those wild, uncontrollable passions which create the dark shadows of
11170 misery and crime; without that primitive, rough simplicity of wants,
11171 that hard, submissive, ill-paid toil, that childlike spelling-out of
11172 what nature has written, which gives its poetry to peasant life. Here
11173 one has conventional worldly notions and habits without instruction
11174 and without polish, surely the most prosaic form of human life; proud
11175 respectability in a gig of unfashionable build; worldliness without
11176 side-dishes. Observing these people narrowly, even when the iron hand
11177 of misfortune has shaken them from their unquestioning hold on the
11178 world, one sees little trace of religion, still less of a
11179 distinctively Christian creed. Their belief in the Unseen, so far as
11180 it manifests itself at all, seems to be rather a pagan kind; their
11181 moral notions, though held with strong tenacity, seem to have no
11182 standard beyond hereditary custom. You could not live among such
11183 people; you are stifled for want of an outlet toward something
11184 beautiful, great, or noble; you are irritated with these dull men and
11185 women, as a kind of population out of keeping with the earth on which
11186 they live,--with this rich plain where the great river flows forever
11187 onward, and links the small pulse of the old English town with the
11188 beatings of the world's mighty heart. A vigorous superstition, that
11189 lashes its gods or lashes its own back, seems to be more congruous
11190 with the mystery of the human lot, than the mental condition of these
11191 emmet-like Dodsons and Tullivers.
11192
11193 I share with you this sense of oppressive narrowness; but it is
11194 necessary that we should feel it, if we care to understand how it
11195 acted on the lives of Tom and Maggie,--how it has acted on young
11196 natures in many generations, that in the onward tendency of human
11197 things have risen above the mental level of the generation before
11198 them, to which they have been nevertheless tied by the strongest
11199 fibres of their hearts. The suffering, whether of martyr or victim,
11200 which belongs to every historical advance of mankind, is represented
11201 in this way in every town, and by hundreds of obscure hearths; and we
11202 need not shrink from this comparison of small things with great; for
11203 does not science tell us that its highest striving is after the
11204 ascertainment of a unity which shall bind the smallest things with the
11205 greatest? In natural science, I have understood, there is nothing
11206 petty to the mind that has a large vision of relations, and to which
11207 every single object suggests a vast sum of conditions. It is surely
11208 the same with the observation of human life.
11209
11210 Certainly the religious and moral ideas of the Dodsons and Tullivers
11211 were of too specific a kind to be arrived at deductively, from the
11212 statement that they were part of the Protestant population of Great
11213 Britain. Their theory of life had its core of soundness, as all
11214 theories must have on which decent and prosperous families have been
11215 reared and have flourished; but it had the very slightest tincture of
11216 theology. If, in the maiden days of the Dodson sisters, their Bibles
11217 opened more easily at some parts than others, it was because of dried
11218 tulip-petals, which had been distributed quite impartially, without
11219 preference for the historical, devotional, or doctrinal. Their
11220 religion was of a simple, semi-pagan kind, but there was no heresy in
11221 it,--if heresy properly means choice,--for they didn't know there was
11222 any other religion, except that of chapel-goers, which appeared to run
11223 in families, like asthma. How _should_ they know? The vicar of their
11224 pleasant rural parish was not a controversialist, but a good hand at
11225 whist, and one who had a joke always ready for a blooming female
11226 parishioner. The religion of the Dodsons consisted in revering
11227 whatever was customary and respectable; it was necessary to be
11228 baptized, else one could not be buried in the church-yard, and to take
11229 the sacrament before death, as a security against more dimly
11230 understood perils; but it was of equal necessity to have the proper
11231 pall-bearers and well-cured hams at one's funeral, and to leave an
11232 unimpeachable will. A Dodson would not be taxed with the omission of
11233 anything that was becoming, or that belonged to that eternal fitness
11234 of things which was plainly indicated in the practice of the most
11235 substantial parishioners, and in the family traditions,--such as
11236 obedience to parents, faithfulness to kindred, industry, rigid
11237 honesty, thrift, the thorough scouring of wooden and copper utensils,
11238 the hoarding of coins likely to disappear from the currency, the
11239 production of first-rate commodities for the market, and the general
11240 preference of whatever was home-made. The Dodsons were a very proud
11241 race, and their pride lay in the utter frustration of all desire to
11242 tax them with a breach of traditional duty or propriety. A wholesome
11243 pride in many respects, since it identified honor with perfect
11244 integrity, thoroughness of work, and faithfulness to admitted rules;
11245 and society owes some worthy qualities in many of her members to
11246 mothers of the Dodson class, who made their butter and their fromenty
11247 well, and would have felt disgraced to make it otherwise. To be honest
11248 and poor was never a Dodson motto, still less to seem rich though
11249 being poor; rather, the family badge was to be honest and rich, and
11250 not only rich, but richer than was supposed. To live respected, and
11251 have the proper bearers at your funeral, was an achievement of the
11252 ends of existence that would be entirely nullified if, on the reading
11253 of your will, you sank in the opinion of your fellow-men, either by
11254 turning out to be poorer than they expected, or by leaving your money
11255 in a capricious manner, without strict regard to degrees of kin. The
11256 right thing must always be done toward kindred. The right thing was to
11257 correct them severely, if they were other than a credit to the family,
11258 but still not to alienate from them the smallest rightful share in the
11259 family shoebuckles and other property. A conspicuous quality in the
11260 Dodson character was its genuineness; its vices and virtues alike were
11261 phases of a proud honest egoism, which had a hearty dislike to
11262 whatever made against its own credit and interest, and would be
11263 frankly hard of speech to inconvenient "kin," but would never forsake
11264 or ignore them,--would not let them want bread, but only require them
11265 to eat it with bitter herbs.
11266
11267 The same sort of traditional belief ran in the Tulliver veins, but it
11268 was carried in richer blood, having elements of generous imprudence,
11269 warm affection, and hot-tempered rashness. Mr. Tulliver's grandfather
11270 had been heard to say that he was descended from one Ralph Tulliver, a
11271 wonderfully clever fellow, who had ruined himself. It is likely enough
11272 that the clever Ralph was a high liver, rode spirited horses, and was
11273 very decidedly of his own opinion. On the other hand, nobody had ever
11274 heard of a Dodson who had ruined himself; it was not the way of that
11275 family.
11276
11277 If such were the views of life on which the Dodsons and Tullivers had
11278 been reared in the praiseworthy past of Pitt and high prices, you will
11279 infer from what you already know concerning the state of society in
11280 St. Ogg's, that there had been no highly modifying influence to act on
11281 them in their maturer life. It was still possible, even in that later
11282 time of anti-Catholic preaching, for people to hold many pagan ideas,
11283 and believe themselves good church-people, notwithstanding; so we need
11284 hardly feel any surprise at the fact that Mr. Tulliver, though a
11285 regular church-goer, recorded his vindictiveness on the fly-leaf of
11286 his Bible. It was not that any harm could be said concerning the vicar
11287 of that charming rural parish to which Dorlcote Mill belonged; he was
11288 a man of excellent family, an irreproachable bachelor, of elegant
11289 pursuits,--had taken honors, and held a fellowship. Mr. Tulliver
11290 regarded him with dutiful respect, as he did everything else belonging
11291 to the church-service; but he considered that church was one thing and
11292 common-sense another, and he wanted nobody to tell _him_ what
11293 commonsense was. Certain seeds which are required to find a nidus for
11294 themselves under unfavorable circumstances have been supplied by
11295 nature with an apparatus of hooks, so that they will get a hold on
11296 very unreceptive surfaces. The spiritual seed which had been scattered
11297 over Mr. Tulliver had apparently been destitute of any corresponding
11298 provision, and had slipped off to the winds again, from a total
11299 absence of hooks.
11300
11301
11302
11303 Chapter II
11304
11305 The Torn Nest Is Pierced by the Thorns
11306
11307
11308 There is something sustaining in the very agitation that accompanies
11309 the first shocks of trouble, just as an acute pain is often a
11310 stimulus, and produces an excitement which is transient strength. It
11311 is in the slow, changed life that follows; in the time when sorrow has
11312 become stale, and has no longer an emotive intensity that counteracts
11313 its pain; in the time when day follows day in dull, unexpectant
11314 sameness, and trial is a dreary routine,--it is then that despair
11315 threatens; it is then that the peremptory hunger of the soul is felt,
11316 and eye and ear are strained after some unlearned secret of our
11317 existence, which shall give to endurance the nature of satisfaction.
11318
11319 This time of utmost need was come to Maggie, with her short span of
11320 thirteen years. To the usual precocity of the girl, she added that
11321 early experience of struggle, of conflict between the inward impulse
11322 and outward fact, which is the lot of every imaginative and passionate
11323 nature; and the years since she hammered the nails into her wooden
11324 Fetish among the worm-eaten shelves of the attic had been filled with
11325 so eager a life in the triple world of Reality, Books, and Waking
11326 Dreams, that Maggie was strangely old for her years in everything
11327 except in her entire want of that prudence and self-command which were
11328 the qualities that made Tom manly in the midst of his intellectual
11329 boyishness. And now her lot was beginning to have a still, sad
11330 monotony, which threw her more than ever on her inward self. Her
11331 father was able to attend to business again, his affairs were settled,
11332 and he was acting as Wakem's manager on the old spot. Tom went to and
11333 fro every morning and evening, and became more and more silent in the
11334 short intervals at home; what was there to say? One day was like
11335 another; and Tom's interest in life, driven back and crushed on every
11336 other side, was concentrating itself into the one channel of ambitious
11337 resistance to misfortune. The peculiarities of his father and mother
11338 were very irksome to him, now they were laid bare of all the softening
11339 accompaniments of an easy, prosperous home; for Tom had very clear,
11340 prosaic eyes, not apt to be dimmed by mists of feeling or imagination.
11341 Poor Mrs. Tulliver, it seemed, would never recover her old self, her
11342 placid household activity; how could she? The objects among which her
11343 mind had moved complacently were all gone,--all the little hopes and
11344 schemes and speculations, all the pleasant little cares about her
11345 treasures which had made the world quite comprehensible to her for a
11346 quarter of a century, since she had made her first purchase of the
11347 sugar-tongs, had been suddenly snatched away from her, and she
11348 remained bewildered in this empty life. Why that should have happened
11349 to her which had not happened to other women remained an insoluble
11350 question by which she expressed her perpetual ruminating comparison of
11351 the past with the present. It was piteous to see the comely woman
11352 getting thinner and more worn under a bodily as well as mental
11353 restlessness, which made her often wander about the empty house after
11354 her work was done, until Maggie, becoming alarmed about her, would
11355 seek her, and bring her down by telling her how it vexed Tom that she
11356 was injuring her health by never sitting down and resting herself. Yet
11357 amidst this helpless imbecility there was a touching trait of humble,
11358 self-devoting maternity, which made Maggie feel tenderly toward her
11359 poor mother amidst all the little wearing griefs caused by her mental
11360 feebleness. She would let Maggie do none of the work that was heaviest
11361 and most soiling to the hands, and was quite peevish when Maggie
11362 attempted to relieve her from her grate-brushing and scouring: "Let it
11363 alone, my dear; your hands 'ull get as hard as hard," she would say;
11364 "it's your mother's place to do that. I can't do the sewing--my eyes
11365 fail me." And she would still brush and carefully tend Maggie's hair,
11366 which she had become reconciled to, in spite of its refusal to curl,
11367 now it was so long and massy. Maggie was not her pet child, and, in
11368 general, would have been much better if she had been quite different;
11369 yet the womanly heart, so bruised in its small personal desires, found
11370 a future to rest on in the life of this young thing, and the mother
11371 pleased herself with wearing out her own hands to save the hands that
11372 had so much more life in them.
11373
11374 But the constant presence of her mother's regretful bewilderment was
11375 less painful to Maggie than that of her father's sullen,
11376 incommunicative depression. As long as the paralysis was upon him, and
11377 it seemed as if he might always be in a childlike condition of
11378 dependence,--as long as he was still only half awakened to his
11379 trouble,--Maggie had felt the strong tide of pitying love almost as an
11380 inspiration, a new power, that would make the most difficult life easy
11381 for his sake; but now, instead of childlike dependence, there had come
11382 a taciturn, hard concentration of purpose, in strange contrast with
11383 his old vehement communicativeness and high spirit; and this lasted
11384 from day to day, and from week to week, the dull eye never brightening
11385 with any eagerness or any joy. It is something cruelly incomprehensible
11386 to youthful natures, this sombre sameness in middle-aged and elderly
11387 people, whose life has resulted in disappointment and discontent, to
11388 whose faces a smile becomes so strange that the sad lines all about
11389 the lips and brow seem to take no notice of it, and it hurries away
11390 again for want of a welcome. "Why will they not kindle up and be
11391 glad sometimes?" thinks young elasticity. "It would be so easy if they
11392 only liked to do it." And these leaden clouds that never part are apt
11393 to create impatience even in the filial affection that streams forth in
11394 nothing but tenderness and pity in the time of more obvious affliction.
11395
11396 Mr. Tulliver lingered nowhere away from home; he hurried away from
11397 market, he refused all invitations to stay and chat, as in old times,
11398 in the houses where he called on business. He could not be reconciled
11399 with his lot. There was no attitude in which his pride did not feel
11400 its bruises; and in all behavior toward him, whether kind or cold, he
11401 detected an allusion to the change in his circumstances. Even the days
11402 on which Wakem came to ride round the land and inquire into the
11403 business were not so black to him as those market-days on which he had
11404 met several creditors who had accepted a composition from him. To save
11405 something toward the repayment of those creditors was the object
11406 toward which he was now bending all his thoughts and efforts; and
11407 under the influence of this all-compelling demand of his nature, the
11408 somewhat profuse man, who hated to be stinted or to stint any one else
11409 in his own house, was gradually metamorphosed into the keen-eyed
11410 grudger of morsels. Mrs. Tulliver could not economize enough to
11411 satisfy him, in their food and firing; and he would eat nothing
11412 himself but what was of the coarsest quality. Tom, though depressed
11413 and strongly repelled by his father's sullenness, and the dreariness
11414 of home, entered thoroughly into his father's feelings about paying
11415 the creditors; and the poor lad brought his first quarter's money,
11416 with a delicious sense of achievement, and gave it to his father to
11417 put into the tin box which held the savings. The little store of
11418 sovereigns in the tin box seemed to be the only sight that brought a
11419 faint beam of pleasure into the miller's eyes,--faint and transient,
11420 for it was soon dispelled by the thought that the time would be
11421 long--perhaps longer than his life,--before the narrow savings could
11422 remove the hateful incubus of debt. A deficit of more than five
11423 hundred pounds, with the accumulating interest, seemed a deep pit to
11424 fill with the savings from thirty shillings a-week, even when Tom's
11425 probable savings were to be added. On this one point there was entire
11426 community of feeling in the four widely differing beings who sat round
11427 the dying fire of sticks, which made a cheap warmth for them on the
11428 verge of bedtime. Mrs. Tulliver carried the proud integrity of the
11429 Dodsons in her blood, and had been brought up to think that to wrong
11430 people of their money, which was another phrase for debt, was a sort
11431 of moral pillory; it would have been wickedness, to her mind, to have
11432 run counter to her husband's desire to "do the right thing," and
11433 retrieve his name. She had a confused, dreamy notion that, if the
11434 creditors were all paid, her plate and linen ought to come back to
11435 her; but she had an inbred perception that while people owed money
11436 they were unable to pay, they couldn't rightly call anything their
11437 own. She murmured a little that Mr. Tulliver so peremptorily refused
11438 to receive anything in repayment from Mr. and Mrs. Moss; but to all
11439 his requirements of household economy she was submissive to the point
11440 of denying herself the cheapest indulgences of mere flavor; her only
11441 rebellion was to smuggle into the kitchen something that would make
11442 rather a better supper than usual for Tom.
11443
11444 These narrow notions about debt, held by the old fashioned Tullivers,
11445 may perhaps excite a smile on the faces of many readers in these days
11446 of wide commercial views and wide philosophy, according to which
11447 everything rights itself without any trouble of ours. The fact that my
11448 tradesman is out of pocket by me is to be looked at through the serene
11449 certainty that somebody else's tradesman is in pocket by somebody
11450 else; and since there must be bad debts in the world, why, it is mere
11451 egoism not to like that we in particular should make them instead of
11452 our fellow-citizens. I am telling the history of very simple people,
11453 who had never had any illuminating doubts as to personal integrity and
11454 honor.
11455
11456 Under all this grim melancholy and narrowing concentration of desire,
11457 Mr. Tulliver retained the feeling toward his "little wench" which made
11458 her presence a need to him, though it would not suffice to cheer him.
11459 She was still the desire of his eyes; but the sweet spring of fatherly
11460 love was now mingled with bitterness, like everything else. When
11461 Maggie laid down her work at night, it was her habit to get a low
11462 stool and sit by her father's knee, leaning her cheek against it. How
11463 she wished he would stroke her head, or give some sign that he was
11464 soothed by the sense that he had a daughter who loved him! But now she
11465 got no answer to her little caresses, either from her father or from
11466 Tom,--the two idols of her life. Tom was weary and abstracted in the
11467 short intervals when he was at home, and her father was bitterly
11468 preoccupied with the thought that the girl was growing up, was
11469 shooting up into a woman; and how was she to do well in life? She had
11470 a poor chance for marrying, down in the world as they were. And he
11471 hated the thought of her marrying poorly, as her aunt Gritty had done;
11472 _that_ would be a thing to make him turn in his grave,--the little
11473 wench so pulled down by children and toil, as her aunt Moss was. When
11474 uncultured minds, confined to a narrow range of personal experience,
11475 are under the pressure of continued misfortune, their inward life is
11476 apt to become a perpetually repeated round of sad and bitter thoughts;
11477 the same words, the same scenes, are revolved over and over again, the
11478 same mood accompanies them; the end of the year finds them as much
11479 what they were at the beginning as if they were machines set to a
11480 recurrent series of movements.
11481
11482 The sameness of the days was broken by few visitors. Uncles and aunts
11483 paid only short visits now; of course, they could not stay to meals,
11484 and the constraint caused by Mr. Tulliver's savage silence, which
11485 seemed to add to the hollow resonance of the bare, uncarpeted room
11486 when the aunts were talking, heightened the unpleasantness of these
11487 family visits on all sides, and tended to make them rare. As for other
11488 acquaintances, there is a chill air surrounding those who are down in
11489 the world, and people are glad to get away from them, as from a cold
11490 room; human beings, mere men and women, without furniture, without
11491 anything to offer you, who have ceased to count as anybody, present an
11492 embarrassing negation of reasons for wishing to see them, or of
11493 subjects on which to converse with them. At that distant day, there
11494 was a dreary isolation in the civilized Christian society of these
11495 realms for families that had dropped below their original level,
11496 unless they belonged to a sectarian church, which gets some warmth of
11497 brotherhood by walling in the sacred fire.
11498
11499
11500
11501 Chapter III
11502
11503 A Voice from the Past
11504
11505
11506 One afternoon, when the chestnuts were coming into flower, Maggie had
11507 brought her chair outside the front door, and was seated there with a
11508 book on her knees. Her dark eyes had wandered from the book, but they
11509 did not seem to be enjoying the sunshine which pierced the screen of
11510 jasmine on the projecting porch at her right, and threw leafy shadows
11511 on her pale round cheek; they seemed rather to be searching for
11512 something that was not disclosed by the sunshine. It had been a more
11513 miserable day than usual; her father, after a visit of Wakem's had had
11514 a paroxysm of rage, in which for some trifling fault he had beaten the
11515 boy who served in the mill. Once before, since his illness, he had had
11516 a similar paroxysm, in which he had beaten his horse, and the scene
11517 had left a lasting terror in Maggie's mind. The thought had risen,
11518 that some time or other he might beat her mother if she happened to
11519 speak in her feeble way at the wrong moment. The keenest of all dread
11520 with her was lest her father should add to his present misfortune the
11521 wretchedness of doing something irretrievably disgraceful. The
11522 battered school-book of Tom's which she held on her knees could give
11523 her no fortitude under the pressure of that dread; and again and again
11524 her eyes had filled with tears, as they wandered vaguely, seeing
11525 neither the chestnut-trees, nor the distant horizon, but only future
11526 scenes of home-sorrow.
11527
11528 Suddenly she was roused by the sound of the opening gate and of
11529 footsteps on the gravel. It was not Tom who was entering, but a man in
11530 a sealskin cap and a blue plush waistcoat, carrying a pack on his
11531 back, and followed closely by a bullterrier of brindled coat and
11532 defiant aspect.
11533
11534 "Oh, Bob, it's you!" said Maggie, starting up with a smile of pleased
11535 recognition, for there had been no abundance of kind acts to efface
11536 the recollection of Bob's generosity; "I'm so glad to see you."
11537
11538 "Thank you, Miss," said Bob, lifting his cap and showing a delighted
11539 face, but immediately relieving himself of some accompanying
11540 embarrassment by looking down at his dog, and saying in a tone of
11541 disgust, "Get out wi' you, you thunderin' sawney!"
11542
11543 "My brother is not at home yet, Bob," said Maggie; "he is always at
11544 St. Ogg's in the daytime."
11545
11546 "Well, Miss," said Bob, "I should be glad to see Mr. Tom, but that
11547 isn't just what I'm come for,--look here!"
11548
11549 Bob was in the act of depositing his pack on the door-step, and with
11550 it a row of small books fastened together with string.
11551
11552 Apparently, however, they were not the object to which he wished to
11553 call Maggie's attention, but rather something which he had carried
11554 under his arm, wrapped in a red handkerchief.
11555
11556 "See here!" he said again, laying the red parcel on the others and
11557 unfolding it; "you won't think I'm a-makin' too free, Miss, I hope,
11558 but I lighted on these books, and I thought they might make up to you
11559 a bit for them as you've lost; for I heared you speak o' picturs,--an'
11560 as for picturs, _look_ here!"
11561
11562 The opening of the red handkerchief had disclosed a superannuated
11563 "Keepsake" and six or seven numbers of a "Portrait Gallery," in royal
11564 octavo; and the emphatic request to look referred to a portrait of
11565 George the Fourth in all the majesty of his depressed cranium and
11566 voluminous neckcloth.
11567
11568 "There's all sorts o' genelmen here," Bob went on, turning over the
11569 leaves with some excitement, "wi' all sorts o' nones,--an' some bald
11570 an' some wi' wigs,--Parlament genelmen, I reckon. An' here," he added,
11571 opening the "Keepsake,"--"_here's_ ladies for you, some wi' curly hair
11572 and some wi' smooth, an' some a-smiling wi' their heads o' one side,
11573 an' some as if they were goin' to cry,--look here,--a-sittin' on the
11574 ground out o' door, dressed like the ladies I'n seen get out o' the
11575 carriages at the balls in th' Old Hall there. My eyes! I wonder what
11576 the chaps wear as go a-courtin' 'em! I sot up till the clock was gone
11577 twelve last night, a-lookin' at 'em,--I did,--till they stared at me
11578 out o' the picturs as if they'd know when I spoke to 'em. But, lors! I
11579 shouldn't know what to say to 'em. They'll be more fittin' company for
11580 you, Miss; and the man at the book-stall, he said they banged
11581 iverything for picturs; he said they was a fust-rate article."
11582
11583 "And you've bought them for me, Bob?" said Maggie, deeply touched by
11584 this simple kindness. "How very, very good of you! But I'm afraid you
11585 gave a great deal of money for them."
11586
11587 "Not me!" said Bob. "I'd ha' gev three times the money if they'll make
11588 up to you a bit for them as was sold away from you, Miss. For I'n
11589 niver forgot how you looked when you fretted about the books bein'
11590 gone; it's stuck by me as if it was a pictur hingin' before me. An'
11591 when I see'd the book open upo' the stall, wi' the lady lookin' out of
11592 it wi' eyes a bit like your'n when you was frettin',--you'll excuse my
11593 takin' the liberty, Miss,--I thought I'd make free to buy it for you,
11594 an' then I bought the books full o' genelmen to match; an' then"--here
11595 Bob took up the small stringed packet of books--"I thought you might
11596 like a bit more print as well as the picturs, an' I got these for a
11597 sayso,--they're cram-full o' print, an' I thought they'd do no harm
11598 comin' along wi' these bettermost books. An' I hope you won't say me
11599 nay, an' tell me as you won't have 'em, like Mr. Tom did wi' the
11600 suvreigns."
11601
11602 "No, indeed, Bob," said Maggie, "I'm very thankful to you for thinking
11603 of me, and being so good to me and Tom. I don't think any one ever did
11604 such a kind thing for me before. I haven't many friends who care for
11605 me."
11606
11607 "Hev a dog, Miss!--they're better friends nor any Christian," said
11608 Bob, laying down his pack again, which he had taken up with the
11609 intention of hurrying away; for he felt considerable shyness in
11610 talking to a young lass like Maggie, though, as he usually said of
11611 himself, "his tongue overrun him" when he began to speak. "I can't
11612 give you Mumps, 'cause he'd break his heart to go away from me--eh,
11613 Mumps, what do you say, you riff-raff?" (Mumps declined to express
11614 himself more diffusely than by a single affirmative movement of his
11615 tail.) "But I'd get you a pup, Miss, an' welcome."
11616
11617 "No, thank you, Bob. We have a yard dog, and I mayn't keep a dog of my
11618 own."
11619
11620 "Eh, that's a pity; else there's a pup,--if you didn't mind about it
11621 not being thoroughbred; its mother acts in the Punch show,--an
11622 uncommon sensible bitch; she means more sense wi' her bark nor half
11623 the chaps can put into their talk from breakfast to sundown. There's
11624 one chap carries pots,--a poor, low trade as any on the road,--he
11625 says, 'Why Toby's nought but a mongrel; there's nought to look at in
11626 her.' But I says to him, 'Why, what are you yoursen but a mongrel?
11627 There wasn't much pickin' o' _your_ feyther an' mother, to look at
11628 you.' Not but I like a bit o' breed myself, but I can't abide to see
11629 one cur grinnin' at another. I wish you good evenin', Miss," said Bob,
11630 abruptly taking up his pack again, under the consciousness that his
11631 tongue was acting in an undisciplined manner.
11632
11633 "Won't you come in the evening some time, and see my brother, Bob?"
11634 said Maggie.
11635
11636 "Yes, Miss, thank you--another time. You'll give my duty to him, if
11637 you please. Eh, he's a fine growed chap, Mr. Tom is; he took to
11638 growin' i' the legs, an' _I_ didn't."
11639
11640 The pack was down again, now, the hook of the stick having somehow
11641 gone wrong.
11642
11643 "You don't call Mumps a cur, I suppose?" said Maggie, divining that
11644 any interest she showed in Mumps would be gratifying to his master.
11645
11646 "No, Miss, a fine way off that," said Bob, with pitying smile; "Mumps
11647 is as fine a cross as you'll see anywhere along the Floss, an' I'n
11648 been up it wi' the barge times enow. Why, the gentry stops to look at
11649 him; but you won't catch Mumps a-looking at the gentry much,--he minds
11650 his own business, he does."
11651
11652 The expression of Mump's face, which seemed to be tolerating the
11653 superfluous existence of objects in general, was strongly confirmatory
11654 of this high praise.
11655
11656 "He looks dreadfully surly," said Maggie. "Would he let me pat him?"
11657
11658 "Ay, that would he, and thank you. He knows his company, Mumps does.
11659 He isn't a dog as 'ull be caught wi' gingerbread; he'd smell a thief a
11660 good deal stronger nor the gingerbread, he would. Lors, I talk to him
11661 by th' hour together, when I'm walking i' lone places, and if I'n done
11662 a bit o' mischief, I allays tell him. I'n got no secrets but what
11663 Mumps knows 'em. He knows about my big thumb, he does."
11664
11665 "Your big thumb--what's that, Bob?" said Maggie.
11666
11667 "That's what it is, Miss," said Bob, quickly, exhibiting a singularly
11668 broad specimen of that difference between the man and the monkey. "It
11669 tells i' measuring out the flannel, you see. I carry flannel, 'cause
11670 it's light for my pack, an' it's dear stuff, you see, so a big thumb
11671 tells. I clap my thumb at the end o' the yard and cut o' the hither
11672 side of it, and the old women aren't up to't."
11673
11674 "But Bob," said Maggie, looking serious, "that's cheating; I don't
11675 like to hear you say that."
11676
11677 "Don't you, Miss?" said Bob regretfully. "Then I'm sorry I said it.
11678 But I'm so used to talking to Mumps, an' he doesn't mind a bit o'
11679 cheating, when it's them skinflint women, as haggle an' haggle, an'
11680 'ud like to get their flannel for nothing, an' 'ud niver ask
11681 theirselves how I got my dinner out on't. I niver cheat anybody as
11682 doesn't want to cheat me, Miss,--lors, I'm a honest chap, I am; only I
11683 must hev a bit o' sport, an' now I don't go wi' th' ferrets, I'n got
11684 no varmint to come over but them haggling women. I wish you good
11685 evening, Miss."
11686
11687 "Good-by, Bob. Thank you very much for bringing me the books. And come
11688 again to see Tom."
11689
11690 "Yes, Miss," said Bob, moving on a few steps; then turning half round
11691 he said, "I'll leave off that trick wi' my big thumb, if you don't
11692 think well on me for it, Miss; but it 'ud be a pity, it would. I
11693 couldn't find another trick so good,--an' what 'ud be the use o'
11694 havin' a big thumb? It might as well ha' been narrow."
11695
11696 Maggie, thus exalted into Bob's exalting Madonna, laughed in spite of
11697 herself; at which her worshipper's blue eyes twinkled too, and under
11698 these favoring auspices he touched his cap and walked away.
11699
11700 The days of chivalry are not gone, notwithstanding Burke's grand dirge
11701 over them; they live still in that far-off worship paid by many a
11702 youth and man to the woman of whom he never dreams that he shall touch
11703 so much as her little finger or the hem of her robe. Bob, with the
11704 pack on his back, had as respectful an adoration for this dark-eyed
11705 maiden as if he had been a knight in armor calling aloud on her name
11706 as he pricked on to the fight.
11707
11708 That gleam of merriment soon died away from Maggie's face, and perhaps
11709 only made the returning gloom deeper by contrast. She was too
11710 dispirited even to like answering questions about Bob's present of
11711 books, and she carried them away to her bedroom, laying them down
11712 there and seating herself on her one stool, without caring to look at
11713 them just yet. She leaned her cheek against the window-frame, and
11714 thought that the light-hearted Bob had a lot much happier than hers.
11715
11716 Maggie's sense of loneliness, and utter privation of joy, had deepened
11717 with the brightness of advancing spring. All the favorite outdoor
11718 nooks about home, which seemed to have done their part with her
11719 parents in nurturing and cherishing her, were now mixed up with the
11720 home-sadness, and gathered no smile from the sunshine. Every
11721 affection, every delight the poor child had had, was like an aching
11722 nerve to her. There was no music for her any more,--no piano, no
11723 harmonized voices, no delicious stringed instruments, with their
11724 passionate cries of imprisoned spirits sending a strange vibration
11725 through her frame. And of all her school-life there was nothing left
11726 her now but her little collection of school-books, which she turned
11727 over with a sickening sense that she knew them all, and they were all
11728 barren of comfort. Even at school she had often wished for books with
11729 _more_ in them; everything she learned there seemed like the ends of
11730 long threads that snapped immediately. And now--without the indirect
11731 charm of school-emulation--Télémaque was mere bran; so were the hard,
11732 dry questions on Christian Doctrine; there was no flavor in them, no
11733 strength. Sometimes Maggie thought she could have been contented with
11734 absorbing fancies; if she could have had all Scott's novels and all
11735 Byron's poems!--then, perhaps, she might have found happiness enough
11736 to dull her sensibility to her actual daily life. And yet they were
11737 hardly what she wanted. She could make dream-worlds of her own, but no
11738 dream-world would satisfy her now. She wanted some explanation of this
11739 hard, real life,--the unhappy-looking father, seated at the dull
11740 breakfast-table; the childish, bewildered mother; the little sordid
11741 tasks that filled the hours, or the more oppressive emptiness of
11742 weary, joyless leisure; the need of some tender, demonstrative love;
11743 the cruel sense that Tom didn't mind what she thought or felt, and
11744 that they were no longer playfellows together; the privation of all
11745 pleasant things that had come to _her_ more than to others,--she
11746 wanted some key that would enable her to understand, and in
11747 understanding, to endure, the heavy weight that had fallen on her
11748 young heart. If she had been taught "real learning and wisdom, such as
11749 great men knew," she thought she should have held the secrets of life;
11750 if she had only books, that she might learn for herself what wise men
11751 knew! Saints and martyrs had never interested Maggie so much as sages
11752 and poets. She knew little of saints and martyrs, and had gathered, as
11753 a general result of her teaching, that they were a temporary provision
11754 against the spread of Catholicism, and had all died at Smithfield.
11755
11756 In one of these meditations it occurred to her that she had forgotten
11757 Tom's school-books, which had been sent home in his trunk. But she
11758 found the stock unaccountably shrunk down to the few old ones which
11759 had been well thumbed,--the Latin Dictionary and Grammar, a Delectus,
11760 a torn Eutropius, the well-worn Virgil, Aldrich's Logic, and the
11761 exasperating Euclid. Still, Latin, Euclid, and Logic would surely be a
11762 considerable step in masculine wisdom,--in that knowledge which made
11763 men contented, and even glad to live. Not that the yearning for
11764 effectual wisdom was quite unmixed; a certain mirage would now and
11765 then rise on the desert of the future, in which she seemed to see
11766 herself honored for her surprising attainments. And so the poor child,
11767 with her soul's hunger and her illusions of self-flattery, began to
11768 nibble at this thick-rinded fruit of the tree of knowledge, filling
11769 her vacant hours with Latin, geometry, and the forms of the syllogism,
11770 and feeling a gleam of triumph now and then that her understanding was
11771 quite equal to these peculiarly masculine studies. For a week or two
11772 she went on resolutely enough, though with an occasional sinking of
11773 heart, as if she had set out toward the Promised Land alone, and found
11774 it a thirsty, trackless, uncertain journey. In the severity of her
11775 early resolution, she would take Aldrich out into the fields, and then
11776 look off her book toward the sky, where the lark was twinkling, or to
11777 the reeds and bushes by the river, from which the waterfowl rustled
11778 forth on its anxious, awkward flight,--with a startled sense that the
11779 relation between Aldrich and this living world was extremely remote
11780 for her. The discouragement deepened as the days went on, and the
11781 eager heart gained faster and faster on the patient mind. Somehow,
11782 when she sat at the window with her book, her eyes _would_ fix
11783 themselves blankly on the outdoor sunshine; then they would fill with
11784 tears, and sometimes, if her mother was not in the room, the studies
11785 would all end in sobbing. She rebelled against her lot, she fainted
11786 under its loneliness, and fits even of anger and hatred toward her
11787 father and mother, who were so unlike what she would have them to be;
11788 toward Tom, who checked her, and met her thought or feeling always by
11789 some thwarting difference,--would flow out over her affections and
11790 conscience like a lava stream, and frighten her with a sense that it
11791 was not difficult for her to become a demon. Then her brain would be
11792 busy with wild romances of a flight from home in search of something
11793 less sordid and dreary; she would go to some great man--Walter Scott,
11794 perhaps--and tell him how wretched and how clever she was, and he
11795 would surely do something for her. But, in the middle of her vision,
11796 her father would perhaps enter the room for the evening, and,
11797 surprised that she sat still without noticing him, would say
11798 complainingly, "Come, am I to fetch my slippers myself?" The voice
11799 pierced through Maggie like a sword; there was another sadness besides
11800 her own, and she had been thinking of turning her back on it and
11801 forsaking it.
11802
11803 This afternoon, the sight of Bob's cheerful freckled face had given
11804 her discontent a new direction. She thought it was part of the
11805 hardship of her life that there was laid upon her the burthen of
11806 larger wants than others seemed to feel,--that she had to endure this
11807 wide, hopeless yearning for that something, whatever it was, that was
11808 greatest and best on this earth. She wished she could have been like
11809 Bob, with his easily satisfied ignorance, or like Tom, who had
11810 something to do on which he could fix his mind with a steady purpose,
11811 and disregard everything else. Poor child! as she leaned her head
11812 against the window-frame, with her hands clasped tighter and tighter,
11813 and her foot beating the ground, she was as lonely in her trouble as
11814 if she had been the only girl in the civilized world of that day who
11815 had come out of her school-life with a soul untrained for inevitable
11816 struggles, with no other part of her inherited share in the hard-won
11817 treasures of thought which generations of painful toil have laid up
11818 for the race of men, than shreds and patches of feeble literature and
11819 false history, with much futile information about Saxon and other
11820 kings of doubtful example, but unhappily quite without that knowledge
11821 of the irreversible laws within and without her, which, governing the
11822 habits, becomes morality, and developing the feelings of submission
11823 and dependence, becomes religion,--as lonely in her trouble as if
11824 every other girl besides herself had been cherished and watched over
11825 by elder minds, not forgetful of their own early time, when need was
11826 keen and impulse strong.
11827
11828 At last Maggie's eyes glanced down on the books that lay on the
11829 window-shelf, and she half forsook her reverie to turn over listlessly
11830 the leaves of the "Portrait Gallery," but she soon pushed this aside
11831 to examine the little row of books tied together with string.
11832 "Beauties of the Spectator," "Rasselas," "Economy of Human Life,"
11833 "Gregory's Letters,"--she knew the sort of matter that was inside all
11834 these; the "Christian Year,"--that seemed to be a hymnbook, and she
11835 laid it down again; but _Thomas à Kempis?_--the name had come across
11836 her in her reading, and she felt the satisfaction, which every one
11837 knows, of getting some ideas to attach to a name that strays solitary
11838 in the memory. She took up the little, old, clumsy book with some
11839 curiosity; it had the corners turned down in many places, and some
11840 hand, now forever quiet, had made at certain passages strong
11841 pen-and-ink marks, long since browned by time. Maggie turned from leaf
11842 to leaf, and read where the quiet hand pointed: "Know that the love of
11843 thyself doth hurt thee more than anything in the world.... If thou
11844 seekest this or that, and wouldst be here or there to enjoy thy own
11845 will and pleasure, thou shalt never be quiet nor free from care; for
11846 in everything somewhat will be wanting, and in every place there will
11847 be some that will cross thee.... Both above and below, which way
11848 soever thou dost turn thee, everywhere thou shalt find the Cross; and
11849 everywhere of necessity thou must have patience, if thou wilt have
11850 inward peace, and enjoy an everlasting crown.... If thou desirest to
11851 mount unto this height, thou must set out courageously, and lay the
11852 axe to the root, that thou mayest pluck up and destroy that hidden
11853 inordinate inclination to thyself, and unto all private and earthly
11854 good. On this sin, that a man inordinately loveth himself, almost all
11855 dependeth, whatsoever is thoroughly to be overcome; which evil being
11856 once overcome and subdued, there will presently ensue great peace and
11857 tranquillity.... It is but little thou sufferest in comparison of them
11858 that have suffered so much, were so strongly tempted, so grievously
11859 afflicted, so many ways tried and exercised. Thou oughtest therefore
11860 to call to mind the more heavy sufferings of others, that thou mayest
11861 the easier bear thy little adversities. And if they seem not little
11862 unto thee, beware lest thy impatience be the cause thereof.... Blessed
11863 are those ears that receive the whispers of the divine voice, and
11864 listen not to the whisperings of the world. Blessed are those ears
11865 which hearken not unto the voice which soundeth outwardly, but unto
11866 the Truth, which teacheth inwardly."
11867
11868 A strange thrill of awe passed through Maggie while she read, as if
11869 she had been wakened in the night by a strain of solemn music, telling
11870 of beings whose souls had been astir while hers was in stupor. She
11871 went on from one brown mark to another, where the quiet hand seemed to
11872 point, hardly conscious that she was reading, seeming rather to listen
11873 while a low voice said;
11874
11875 "Why dost thou here gaze about, since this is not the place of thy
11876 rest? In heaven ought to be thy dwelling, and all earthly things are
11877 to be looked on as they forward thy journey thither. All things pass
11878 away, and thou together with them. Beware thou cleavest not unto them,
11879 lest thou be entangled and perish.... If a man should give all his
11880 substance, yet it is as nothing. And if he should do great penances,
11881 yet are they but little. And if he should attain to all knowledge, he
11882 is yet far off. And if he should be of great virtue, and very fervent
11883 devotion, yet is there much wanting; to wit, one thing, which is most
11884 necessary for him. What is that? That having left all, he leave
11885 himself, and go wholly out of himself, and retain nothing of
11886 self-love.... I have often said unto thee, and now again I say the
11887 same, Forsake thyself, resign thyself, and thou shalt enjoy much
11888 inward peace.... Then shall all vain imaginations, evil perturbations,
11889 and superfluous cares fly away; then shall immoderate fear leave thee,
11890 and inordinate love shall die."
11891
11892 Maggie drew a long breath and pushed her heavy hair back, as if to see
11893 a sudden vision more clearly. Here, then, was a secret of life that
11894 would enable her to renounce all other secrets; here was a sublime
11895 height to be reached without the help of outward things; here was
11896 insight, and strength, and conquest, to be won by means entirely
11897 within her own soul, where a supreme Teacher was waiting to be heard.
11898 It flashed through her like the suddenly apprehended solution of a
11899 problem, that all the miseries of her young life had come from fixing
11900 her heart on her own pleasure, as if that were the central necessity
11901 of the universe; and for the first time she saw the possibility of
11902 shifting the position from which she looked at the gratification of
11903 her own desires,--of taking her stand out of herself, and looking at
11904 her own life as an insignificant part of a divinely guided whole. She
11905 read on and on in the old book, devouring eagerly the dialogues with
11906 the invisible Teacher, the pattern of sorrow, the source of all
11907 strength; returning to it after she had been called away, and reading
11908 till the sun went down behind the willows. With all the hurry of an
11909 imagination that could never rest in the present, she sat in the
11910 deepening twilight forming plans of self-humiliation and entire
11911 devotedness; and in the ardor of first discovery, renunciation seemed
11912 to her the entrance into that satisfaction which she had so long been
11913 craving in vain. She had not perceived--how could she until she had
11914 lived longer?--the inmost truth of the old monk's out-pourings, that
11915 renunciation remains sorrow, though a sorrow borne willingly. Maggie
11916 was still panting for happiness, and was in ecstasy because she had
11917 found the key to it. She knew nothing of doctrines and systems, of
11918 mysticism or quietism; but this voice out of the far-off middle ages
11919 was the direct communication of a human soul's belief and experience,
11920 and came to Maggie as an unquestioned message.
11921
11922 I suppose that is the reason why the small old-fashioned book, for
11923 which you need only pay sixpence at a book-stall, works miracles to
11924 this day, turning bitter waters into sweetness; while expensive
11925 sermons and treatises, newly issued, leave all things as they were
11926 before. It was written down by a hand that waited for the heart's
11927 prompting; it is the chronicle of a solitary, hidden anguish,
11928 struggle, trust, and triumph, not written on velvet cushions to teach
11929 endurance to those who are treading with bleeding feet on the stones.
11930 And so it remains to all time a lasting record of human needs and
11931 human consolations; the voice of a brother who, ages ago, felt and
11932 suffered and renounced,--in the cloister, perhaps, with serge gown and
11933 tonsured head, with much chanting and long fasts, and with a fashion
11934 of speech different from ours,--but under the same silent far-off
11935 heavens, and with the same passionate desires, the same strivings, the
11936 same failures, the same weariness.
11937
11938 In writing the history of unfashionable families, one is apt to fall
11939 into a tone of emphasis which is very far from being the tone of good
11940 society, where principles and beliefs are not only of an extremely
11941 moderate kind, but are always presupposed, no subjects being eligible
11942 but such as can be touched with a light and graceful irony. But then
11943 good society has its claret and its velvet carpets, its
11944 dinner-engagements six weeks deep, its opera and its faëry ball-rooms;
11945 rides off its _ennui_ on thoroughbred horses; lounges at the club; has
11946 to keep clear of crinoline vortices; gets its science done by Faraday,
11947 and its religion by the superior clergy who are to be met in the best
11948 houses,--how should it have time or need for belief and emphasis? But
11949 good society, floated on gossamer wings of light irony, is of very
11950 expensive production; requiring nothing less than a wide and arduous
11951 national life condensed in unfragrant deafening factories, cramping
11952 itself in mines, sweating at furnaces, grinding, hammering, weaving
11953 under more or less oppression of carbonic acid, or else, spread over
11954 sheepwalks, and scattered in lonely houses and huts on the clayey or
11955 chalky corn-lands, where the rainy days look dreary. This wide
11956 national life is based entirely on emphasis,--the emphasis of want,
11957 which urges it into all the activities necessary for the maintenance
11958 of good society and light irony; it spends its heavy years often in a
11959 chill, uncarpeted fashion, amidst family discord unsoftened by long
11960 corridors. Under such circumstances, there are many among its myriads
11961 of souls who have absolutely needed an emphatic belief, life in this
11962 unpleasurable shape demanding some solution even to unspeculative
11963 minds,--just as you inquire into the stuffing of your couch when
11964 anything galls you there, whereas eider-down and perfect French
11965 springs excite no question. Some have an emphatic belief in alcohol,
11966 and seek their _ekstasis_ or outside standing-ground in gin; but the
11967 rest require something that good society calls "enthusiasm," something
11968 that will present motives in an entire absence of high prizes;
11969 something that will give patience and feed human love when the limbs
11970 ache with weariness, and human looks are hard upon us; something,
11971 clearly, that lies outside personal desires, that includes resignation
11972 for ourselves and active love for what is not ourselves. Now and then
11973 that sort of enthusiasm finds a far-echoing voice that comes from an
11974 experience springing out of the deepest need; and it was by being
11975 brought within the long lingering vibrations of such a voice that
11976 Maggie, with her girl's face and unnoted sorrows, found an effort and
11977 a hope that helped her through years of loneliness, making out a faith
11978 for herself without the aid of established authorities and appointed
11979 guides; for they were not at hand, and her need was pressing. From
11980 what you know of her, you will not be surprised that she threw some
11981 exaggeration and wilfulness, some pride and impetuosity, even into her
11982 self-renunciation; her own life was still a drama for her, in which
11983 she demanded of herself that her part should be played with intensity.
11984 And so it came to pass that she often lost the spirit of humility by
11985 being excessive in the outward act; she often strove after too high a
11986 flight, and came down with her poor little half-fledged wings dabbled
11987 in the mud. For example, she not only determined to work at plain
11988 sewing, that she might contribute something toward the fund in the tin
11989 box, but she went, in the first instance, in her zeal of
11990 self-mortification, to ask for it at a linen shop in St. Ogg's,
11991 instead of getting it in a more quiet and indirect way; and could see
11992 nothing but what was entirely wrong and unkind, nay, persecuting, in
11993 Tom's reproof of her for this unnecessary act. "I don't like _my_
11994 sister to do such things," said Tom, "_I'll_ take care that the debts
11995 are paid, without your lowering yourself in that way." Surely there
11996 was some tenderness and bravery mingled with the worldliness and
11997 self-assertion of that little speech; but Maggie held it as dross,
11998 overlooking the grains of gold, and took Tom's rebuke as one of her
11999 outward crosses. Tom was very hard to her, she used to think, in her
12000 long night-watchings,--to her who had always loved him so; and then
12001 she strove to be contented with that hardness, and to require nothing.
12002 That is the path we all like when we set out on our abandonment of
12003 egoism,--the path of martyrdom and endurance, where the palm-branches
12004 grow, rather than the steep highway of tolerance, just allowance, and
12005 self-blame, where there are no leafy honors to be gathered and worn.
12006
12007 The old books, Virgil, Euclid, and Aldrich--that wrinkled fruit of the
12008 tree of knowledge--had been all laid by; for Maggie had turned her
12009 back on the vain ambition to share the thoughts of the wise. In her
12010 first ardor she flung away the books with a sort of triumph that she
12011 had risen above the need of them; and if they had been her own, she
12012 would have burned them, believing that she would never repent. She
12013 read so eagerly and constantly in her three books, the Bible, Thomas à
12014 Kempis, and the "Christian Year" (no longer rejected as a
12015 "hymn-book"), that they filled her mind with a continual stream of
12016 rhythmic memories; and she was too ardently learning to see all nature
12017 and life in the light of her new faith, to need any other material for
12018 her mind to work on, as she sat with her well-plied needle, making
12019 shirts and other complicated stitchings, falsely called "plain,"--by
12020 no means plain to Maggie, since wristband and sleeve and the like had
12021 a capability of being sewed in wrong side outward in moments of mental
12022 wandering.
12023
12024 Hanging diligently over her sewing, Maggie was a sight any one might
12025 have been pleased to look at. That new inward life of hers,
12026 notwithstanding some volcanic upheavings of imprisoned passions, yet
12027 shone out in her face with a tender soft light that mingled itself as
12028 added loveliness with the gradually enriched color and outline of her
12029 blossoming youth. Her mother felt the change in her with a sort of
12030 puzzled wonder that Maggie should be "growing up so good"; it was
12031 amazing that this once "contrairy" child was become so submissive, so
12032 backward to assert her own will. Maggie used to look up from her work
12033 and find her mother's eyes fixed upon her; they were watching and
12034 waiting for the large young glance, as if her elder frame got some
12035 needful warmth from it. The mother was getting fond of her tall, brown
12036 girl,--the only bit of furniture now on which she could bestow her
12037 anxiety and pride; and Maggie, in spite of her own ascetic wish to
12038 have no personal adornment, was obliged to give way to her mother
12039 about her hair, and submit to have the abundant black locks plaited
12040 into a coronet on the summit of her head, after the pitiable fashion
12041 of those antiquated times.
12042
12043 "Let your mother have that bit o' pleasure, my dear," said Mrs.
12044 Tulliver; "I'd trouble enough with your hair once."
12045
12046 So Maggie, glad of anything that would soothe her mother, and cheer
12047 their long day together, consented to the vain decoration, and showed
12048 a queenly head above her old frocks, steadily refusing, however, to
12049 look at herself in the glass. Mrs. Tulliver liked to call the father's
12050 attention to Maggie's hair and other unexpected virtues, but he had a
12051 brusk reply to give.
12052
12053 "I knew well enough what she'd be, before now,--it's nothing new to
12054 me. But it's a pity she isn't made o' commoner stuff; she'll be thrown
12055 away, I doubt,--there'll be nobody to marry her as is fit for her."
12056
12057 And Maggie's graces of mind and body fed his gloom. He sat patiently
12058 enough while she read him a chapter, or said something timidly when
12059 they were alone together about trouble being turned into a blessing.
12060 He took it all as part of his daughter's goodness, which made his
12061 misfortunes the sadder to him because they damaged her chance in life.
12062 In a mind charged with an eager purpose and an unsatisfied
12063 vindictiveness, there is no room for new feelings; Mr. Tulliver did
12064 not want spiritual consolation--he wanted to shake off the degradation
12065 of debt, and to have his revenge.
12066
12067
12068
12069
12070 Book V
12071
12072 _Wheat and Tares_
12073
12074
12075
12076 Chapter I
12077
12078 In the Red Deeps
12079
12080
12081 The family sitting-room was a long room with a window at each end; one
12082 looking toward the croft and along the Ripple to the banks of the
12083 Floss, the other into the mill-yard. Maggie was sitting with her work
12084 against the latter window when she saw Mr. Wakem entering the yard, as
12085 usual, on his fine black horse; but not alone, as usual. Some one was
12086 with him,--a figure in a cloak, on a handsome pony. Maggie had hardly
12087 time to feel that it was Philip come back, before they were in front
12088 of the window, and he was raising his hat to her; while his father,
12089 catching the movement by a side-glance, looked sharply round at them
12090 both.
12091
12092 Maggie hurried away from the window and carried her work upstairs; for
12093 Mr. Wakem sometimes came in and inspected the books, and Maggie felt
12094 that the meeting with Philip would be robbed of all pleasure in the
12095 presence of the two fathers. Some day, perhaps, she could see him when
12096 they could just shake hands, and she could tell him that she
12097 remembered his goodness to Tom, and the things he had said to her in
12098 the old days, though they could never be friends any more. It was not
12099 at all agitating to Maggie to see Philip again; she retained her
12100 childish gratitude and pity toward him, and remembered his cleverness;
12101 and in the early weeks of her loneliness she had continually recalled
12102 the image of him among the people who had been kind to her in life,
12103 often wishing she had him for a brother and a teacher, as they had
12104 fancied it might have been, in their talk together. But that sort of
12105 wishing had been banished along with other dreams that savored of
12106 seeking her own will; and she thought, besides, that Philip might be
12107 altered by his life abroad,--he might have become worldly, and really
12108 not care about her saying anything to him now. And yet his face was
12109 wonderfully little altered,--it was only a larger, more manly copy of
12110 the pale, small-featured boy's face, with the gray eyes, and the
12111 boyish waving brown hair; there was the old deformity to awaken the
12112 old pity; and after all her meditations, Maggie felt that she really
12113 _should_ like to say a few words to him. He might still be melancholy,
12114 as he always used to be, and like her to look at him kindly. She
12115 wondered if he remembered how he used to like her eyes; with that
12116 thought Maggie glanced toward the square looking-glass which was
12117 condemned to hang with its face toward the wall, and she half started
12118 from her seat to reach it down; but she checked herself and snatched
12119 up her work, trying to repress the rising wishes by forcing her memory
12120 to recall snatches of hymns, until she saw Philip and his father
12121 returning along the road, and she could go down again.
12122
12123 It was far on in June now, and Maggie was inclined to lengthen the
12124 daily walk which was her one indulgence; but this day and the
12125 following she was so busy with work which must be finished that she
12126 never went beyond the gate, and satisfied her need of the open air by
12127 sitting out of doors. One of her frequent walks, when she was not
12128 obliged to go to St. Ogg's, was to a spot that lay beyond what was
12129 called the "Hill,"--an insignificant rise of ground crowned by trees,
12130 lying along the side of the road which ran by the gates of Dorlcote
12131 Mill. Insignificant I call it, because in height it was hardly more
12132 than a bank; but there may come moments when Nature makes a mere bank
12133 a means toward a fateful result; and that is why I ask you to imagine
12134 this high bank crowned with trees, making an uneven wall for some
12135 quarter of a mile along the left side of Dorlcote Mill and the
12136 pleasant fields behind it, bounded by the murmuring Ripple. Just where
12137 this line of bank sloped down again to the level, a by-road turned off
12138 and led to the other side of the rise, where it was broken into very
12139 capricious hollows and mounds by the working of an exhausted
12140 stone-quarry, so long exhausted that both mounds and hollows were now
12141 clothed with brambles and trees, and here and there by a stretch of
12142 grass which a few sheep kept close-nibbled. In her childish days
12143 Maggie held this place, called the Red Deeps, in very great awe, and
12144 needed all her confidence in Tom's bravery to reconcile her to an
12145 excursion thither,--visions of robbers and fierce animals haunting
12146 every hollow. But now it had the charm for her which any broken
12147 ground, any mimic rock and ravine, have for the eyes that rest
12148 habitually on the level; especially in summer, when she could sit on a
12149 grassy hollow under the shadow of a branching ash, stooping aslant
12150 from the steep above her, and listen to the hum of insects, like
12151 tiniest bells on the garment of Silence, or see the sunlight piercing
12152 the distant boughs, as if to chase and drive home the truant heavenly
12153 blue of the wild hyacinths. In this June time, too, the dog-roses were
12154 in their glory, and that was an additional reason why Maggie should
12155 direct her walk to the Red Deeps, rather than to any other spot, on
12156 the first day she was free to wander at her will,--a pleasure she
12157 loved so well, that sometimes, in her ardors of renunciation, she
12158 thought she ought to deny herself the frequent indulgence in it.
12159
12160 You may see her now, as she walks down the favorite turning and enters
12161 the Deeps by a narrow path through a group of Scotch firs, her tall
12162 figure and old lavender gown visible through an hereditary black silk
12163 shawl of some wide-meshed net-like material; and now she is sure of
12164 being unseen she takes off her bonnet and ties it over her arm. One
12165 would certainly suppose her to be farther on in life than her
12166 seventeenth year--perhaps because of the slow resigned sadness of the
12167 glance from which all search and unrest seem to have departed; perhaps
12168 because her broad-chested figure has the mould of early womanhood.
12169 Youth and health have withstood well the involuntary and voluntary
12170 hardships of her lot, and the nights in which she has lain on the hard
12171 floor for a penance have left no obvious trace; the eyes are liquid,
12172 the brown cheek is firm and round, the full lips are red. With her
12173 dark coloring and jet crown surmounting her tall figure, she seems to
12174 have a sort of kinship with the grand Scotch firs, at which she is
12175 looking up as if she loved them well. Yet one has a sense of
12176 uneasiness in looking at her,--a sense of opposing elements, of which
12177 a fierce collision is imminent; surely there is a hushed expression,
12178 such as one often sees in older faces under borderless caps, out of
12179 keeping with the resistant youth, which one expects to flash out in a
12180 sudden, passionate glance, that will dissipate all the quietude, like
12181 a damp fire leaping out again when all seemed safe.
12182
12183 But Maggie herself was not uneasy at this moment. She was calmly
12184 enjoying the free air, while she looked up at the old fir-trees, and
12185 thought that those broken ends of branches were the records of past
12186 storms, which had only made the red stems soar higher. But while her
12187 eyes were still turned upward, she became conscious of a moving shadow
12188 cast by the evening sun on the grassy path before her, and looked down
12189 with a startled gesture to see Philip Wakem, who first raised his hat,
12190 and then, blushing deeply, came forward to her and put out his hand.
12191 Maggie, too, colored with surprise, which soon gave way to pleasure.
12192 She put out her hand and looked down at the deformed figure before her
12193 with frank eyes, filled for the moment with nothing but the memory of
12194 her child's feelings,--a memory that was always strong in her. She was
12195 the first to speak.
12196
12197 "You startled me," she said, smiling faintly; "I never meet any one
12198 here. How came you to be walking here? Did you come to meet _me?_"
12199
12200 It was impossible not to perceive that Maggie felt herself a child
12201 again.
12202
12203 "Yes, I did," said Philip, still embarrassed; "I wished to see you
12204 very much. I watched a long while yesterday on the bank near your
12205 house to see if you would come out, but you never came. Then I watched
12206 again to-day, and when I saw the way you took, I kept you in sight and
12207 came down the bank, behind there. I hope you will not be displeased
12208 with me."
12209
12210 "No," said Maggie, with simple seriousness, walking on as if she meant
12211 Philip to accompany her, "I'm very glad you came, for I wished very
12212 much to have an opportunity of speaking to you. I've never forgotten
12213 how good you were long ago to Tom, and me too; but I was not sure that
12214 you would remember us so well. Tom and I have had a great deal of
12215 trouble since then, and I think _that_ makes one think more of what
12216 happened before the trouble came."
12217
12218 "I can't believe that you have thought of me so much as I have thought
12219 of you," said Philip, timidly. "Do you know, when I was away, I made a
12220 picture of you as you looked that morning in the study when you said
12221 you would not forget me."
12222
12223 Philip drew a large miniature-case from his pocket, and opened it.
12224 Maggie saw her old self leaning on a table, with her black locks
12225 hanging down behind her ears, looking into space, with strange, dreamy
12226 eyes. It was a water-color sketch, of real merit as a portrait.
12227
12228 "Oh dear," said Maggie, smiling, and flushed with pleasure, "what a
12229 queer little girl I was! I remember myself with my hair in that way,
12230 in that pink frock. I really _was_ like a gypsy. I dare say I am now,"
12231 she added, after a little pause; "am I like what you expected me to
12232 be?"
12233
12234 The words might have been those of a coquette, but the full, bright
12235 glance Maggie turned on Philip was not that of a coquette. She really
12236 did hope he liked her face as it was now, but it was simply the rising
12237 again of her innate delight in admiration and love. Philip met her
12238 eyes and looked at her in silence for a long moment, before he said
12239 quietly, "No, Maggie."
12240
12241 The light died out a little from Maggie's face, and there was a slight
12242 trembling of the lip. Her eyelids fell lower, but she did not turn
12243 away her head, and Philip continued to look at her. Then he said
12244 slowly:
12245
12246 "You are very much more beautiful than I thought you would be."
12247
12248 "Am I?" said Maggie, the pleasure returning in a deeper flush. She
12249 turned her face away from him and took some steps, looking straight
12250 before her in silence, as if she were adjusting her consciousness to
12251 this new idea. Girls are so accustomed to think of dress as the main
12252 ground of vanity, that, in abstaining from the looking-glass, Maggie
12253 had thought more of abandoning all care for adornment than of
12254 renouncing the contemplation of her face. Comparing herself with
12255 elegant, wealthy young ladies, it had not occurred to her that she
12256 could produce any effect with her person. Philip seemed to like the
12257 silence well. He walked by her side, watching her face, as if that
12258 sight left no room for any other wish. They had passed from among the
12259 fir-trees, and had now come to a green hollow almost surrounded by an
12260 amphitheatre of the pale pink dog-roses. But as the light about them
12261 had brightened, Maggie's face had lost its glow.
12262
12263 She stood still when they were in the hollows, and looking at Philip
12264 again, she said in a serious, sad voice:
12265
12266 "I wish we could have been friends,--I mean, if it would have been
12267 good and right for us. But that is the trial I have to bear in
12268 everything; I may not keep anything I used to love when I was little.
12269 The old books went; and Tom is different, and my father. It is like
12270 death. I must part with everything I cared for when I was a child. And
12271 I must part with you; we must never take any notice of each other
12272 again. That was what I wanted to speak to you for. I wanted to let you
12273 know that Tom and I can't do as we like about such things, and that if
12274 I behave as if I had forgotten all about you, it is not out of envy or
12275 pride--or--or any bad feeling."
12276
12277 Maggie spoke with more and more sorrowful gentleness as she went on,
12278 and her eyes began to fill with tears. The deepening expression of
12279 pain on Philip's face gave him a stronger resemblance to his boyish
12280 self, and made the deformity appeal more strongly to her pity.
12281
12282 "I know; I see all that you mean," he said, in a voice that had become
12283 feebler from discouragement; "I know what there is to keep us apart on
12284 both sides. But it is not right, Maggie,--don't you be angry with me,
12285 I am so used to call you Maggie in my thoughts,--it is not right to
12286 sacrifice everything to other people's unreasonable feelings. I would
12287 give up a great deal for _my_ father; but I would not give up a
12288 friendship or--or an attachment of any sort, in obedience to any wish
12289 of his that I didn't recognize as right."
12290
12291 "I don't know," said Maggie, musingly. "Often, when I have been angry
12292 and discontented, it has seemed to me that I was not bound to give up
12293 anything; and I have gone on thinking till it has seemed to me that I
12294 could think away all my duty. But no good has ever come of that; it
12295 was an evil state of mind. I'm quite sure that whatever I might do, I
12296 should wish in the end that I had gone without anything for myself,
12297 rather than have made my father's life harder to him."
12298
12299 "But would it make his life harder if we were to see each other
12300 sometimes?" said Philip. He was going to say something else, but
12301 checked himself.
12302
12303 "Oh, I'm sure he wouldn't like it. Don't ask me why, or anything about
12304 it," said Maggie, in a distressed tone. "My father feels so strongly
12305 about some things. He is not at all happy."
12306
12307 "No more am I," said Philip, impetuously; "I am not happy."
12308
12309 "Why?" said Maggie, gently. "At least--I ought not to ask--but I'm
12310 very, very sorry."
12311
12312 Philip turned to walk on, as if he had not patience to stand still any
12313 longer, and they went out of the hollow, winding amongst the trees and
12314 bushes in silence. After that last word of Philip's, Maggie could not
12315 bear to insist immediately on their parting.
12316
12317 "I've been a great deal happier," she said at last, timidly, "since I
12318 have given up thinking about what is easy and pleasant, and being
12319 discontented because I couldn't have my own will. Our life is
12320 determined for us; and it makes the mind very free when we give up
12321 wishing, and only think of bearing what is laid upon us, and doing
12322 what is given us to do."
12323
12324 "But I can't give up wishing," said Philip, impatiently. "It seems to
12325 me we can never give up longing and wishing while we are thoroughly
12326 alive. There are certain things we feel to be beautiful and good, and
12327 we _must_ hunger after them. How can we ever be satisfied without them
12328 until our feelings are deadened? I delight in fine pictures; I long to
12329 be able to paint such. I strive and strive, and can't produce what I
12330 want. That is pain to me, and always _will_ be pain, until my
12331 faculties lose their keenness, like aged eyes. Then there are many
12332 other things I long for,"--here Philip hesitated a little, and then
12333 said,--"things that other men have, and that will always be denied me.
12334 My life will have nothing great or beautiful in it; I would rather not
12335 have lived."
12336
12337 "Oh, Philip," said Maggie, "I wish you didn't feel so." But her heart
12338 began to beat with something of Philip's discontent.
12339
12340 "Well, then," said he, turning quickly round and fixing his gray eyes
12341 entreatingly on her face, "I should be contented to live, if you would
12342 let me see you sometimes." Then, checked by a fear which her face
12343 suggested, he looked away again and said more calmly, "I have no
12344 friend to whom I can tell everything, no one who cares enough about
12345 me; and if I could only see you now and then, and you would let me
12346 talk to you a little, and show me that you cared for me, and that we
12347 may always be friends in heart, and help each other, then I might come
12348 to be glad of life."
12349
12350 "But how can I see you, Philip?" said Maggie, falteringly. (Could she
12351 really do him good? It would be very hard to say "good-by" this day,
12352 and not speak to him again. Here was a new interest to vary the days;
12353 it was so much easier to renounce the interest before it came.)
12354
12355 "If you would let me see you here sometimes,--walk with you here,--I
12356 would be contented if it were only once or twice in a month. _That_
12357 could injure no one's happiness, and it would sweeten my life.
12358 Besides," Philip went on, with all the inventive astuteness of love at
12359 one-and-twenty, "if there is any enmity between those who belong to
12360 us, we ought all the more to try and quench it by our friendship; I
12361 mean, that by our influence on both sides we might bring about a
12362 healing of the wounds that have been made in the past, if I could know
12363 everything about them. And I don't believe there is any enmity in my
12364 own father's mind; I think he has proved the contrary."
12365
12366 Maggie shook her head slowly, and was silent, under conflicting
12367 thoughts. It seemed to her inclination, that to see Philip now and
12368 then, and keep up the bond of friendship with him, was something not
12369 only innocent, but good; perhaps she might really help him to find
12370 contentment as she had found it. The voice that said this made sweet
12371 music to Maggie; but athwart it there came an urgent, monotonous
12372 warning from another voice which she had been learning to obey,--the
12373 warning that such interviews implied secrecy; implied doing something
12374 she would dread to be discovered in, something that, if discovered,
12375 must cause anger and pain; and that the admission of anything so near
12376 doubleness would act as a spiritual blight. Yet the music would swell
12377 out again, like chimes borne onward by a recurrent breeze, persuading
12378 her that the wrong lay all in the faults and weaknesses of others, and
12379 that there was such a thing as futile sacrifice for one to the injury
12380 of another. It was very cruel for Philip that he should be shrunk
12381 from, because of an unjustifiable vindictiveness toward his
12382 father,--poor Philip, whom some people would shrink from only because
12383 he was deformed. The idea that he might become her lover or that her
12384 meeting him could cause disapproval in that light, had not occurred to
12385 her; and Philip saw the absence of this idea clearly enough, saw it
12386 with a certain pang, although it made her consent to his request the
12387 less unlikely. There was bitterness to him in the perception that
12388 Maggie was almost as frank and unconstrained toward him as when she
12389 was a child.
12390
12391 "I can't say either yes or no," she said at last, turning round and
12392 walking toward the way she come; "I must wait, lest I should decide
12393 wrongly. I must seek for guidance."
12394
12395 "May I come again, then, to-morrow, or the next day, or next week?"
12396
12397 "I think I had better write," said Maggie, faltering again. "I have to
12398 go to St. Ogg's sometimes, and I can put the letter in the post."
12399
12400 "Oh no," said Philip eagerly; "that would not be so well. My father
12401 might see the letter--and--he has not any enmity, I believe, but he
12402 views things differently from me; he thinks a great deal about wealth
12403 and position. Pray let me come here once more. _Tell_ me when it shall
12404 be; or if you can't tell me, I will come as often as I can till I do
12405 see you."
12406
12407 "I think it must be so, then," said Maggie, "for I can't be quite
12408 certain of coming here any particular evening."
12409
12410 Maggie felt a great relief in adjourning the decision. She was free
12411 now to enjoy the minutes of companionship; she almost thought she
12412 might linger a little; the next time they met she should have to pain
12413 Philip by telling him her determination.
12414
12415 "I can't help thinking," she said, looking smilingly at him, after a
12416 few moments of silence, "how strange it is that we should have met and
12417 talked to each other, just as if it had been only yesterday when we
12418 parted at Lorton. And yet we must both be very much altered in those
12419 five years,--I think it is five years. How was it you seemed to have a
12420 sort of feeling that I was the same Maggie? I was not quite so sure
12421 that you would be the same; I know you are so clever, and you must
12422 have seen and learnt so much to fill your mind; I was not quite sure
12423 you would care about me now."
12424
12425 "I have never had any doubt that you would be the same, whenever I
12426 might see you," said Philip,--"I mean, the same in everything that made
12427 me like you better than any one else. I don't want to explain that; I
12428 don't think any of the strongest effects our natures are susceptible
12429 of can ever be explained. We can neither detect the process by which
12430 they are arrived at, nor the mode in which they act on us. The
12431 greatest of painters only once painted a mysteriously divine child; he
12432 couldn't have told how he did it, and we can't tell why we feel it to
12433 be divine. I think there are stores laid up in our human nature that
12434 our understandings can make no complete inventory of. Certain strains
12435 of music affect me so strangely; I can never hear them without their
12436 changing my whole attitude of mind for a time, and if the effect would
12437 last, I might be capable of heroisms."
12438
12439 "Ah! I know what you mean about music; _I_ feel so," said Maggie,
12440 clasping her hands with her old impetuosity. "At least," she added, in
12441 a saddened tone, "I used to feel so when I had any music; I never have
12442 any now except the organ at church."
12443
12444 "And you long for it, Maggie?" said Philip, looking at her with
12445 affectionate pity. "Ah, you can have very little that is beautiful in
12446 your life. Have you many books? You were so fond of them when you were
12447 a little girl."
12448
12449 They were come back to the hollow, round which the dog-roses grew, and
12450 they both paused under the charm of the faëry evening light, reflected
12451 from the pale pink clusters.
12452
12453 "No, I have given up books," said Maggie, quietly, "except a very,
12454 very few."
12455
12456 Philip had already taken from his pocket a small volume, and was
12457 looking at the back as he said:
12458
12459 "Ah, this is the second volume, I see, else you might have liked to
12460 take it home with you. I put it in my pocket because I am studying a
12461 scene for a picture."
12462
12463 Maggie had looked at the back too, and saw the title; it revived an
12464 old impression with overmastering force.
12465
12466 "'The Pirate,'" she said, taking the book from Philip's hands. "Oh, I
12467 began that once; I read to where Minna is walking with Cleveland, and
12468 I could never get to read the rest. I went on with it in my own head,
12469 and I made several endings; but they were all unhappy. I could never
12470 make a happy ending out of that beginning. Poor Minna! I wonder what
12471 is the real end. For a long while I couldn't get my mind away from the
12472 Shetland Isles,--I used to feel the wind blowing on me from the rough
12473 sea."
12474
12475 Maggie spoke rapidly, with glistening eyes.
12476
12477 "Take that volume home with you, Maggie," said Philip, watching her
12478 with delight. "I don't want it now. I shall make a picture of you
12479 instead,--you, among the Scotch firs and the slanting shadows."
12480
12481 Maggie had not heard a word he had said; she was absorbed in a page at
12482 which she had opened. But suddenly she closed the book, and gave it
12483 back to Philip, shaking her head with a backward movement, as if to
12484 say "avaunt" to floating visions.
12485
12486 "Do keep it, Maggie," said Philip, entreatingly; "it will give you
12487 pleasure."
12488
12489 "No, thank you," said Maggie, putting it aside with her hand and
12490 walking on. "It would make me in love with this world again, as I used
12491 to be; it would make me long to see and know many things; it would
12492 make me long for a full life."
12493
12494 "But you will not always be shut up in your present lot; why should
12495 you starve your mind in that way? It is narrow asceticism; I don't
12496 like to see you persisting in it, Maggie. Poetry and art and knowledge
12497 are sacred and pure."
12498
12499 "But not for me, not for me," said Maggie, walking more hurriedly;
12500 "because I should want too much. I must wait; this life will not last
12501 long."
12502
12503 "Don't hurry away from me without saying 'good-by,' Maggie," said
12504 Philip, as they reached the group of Scotch firs, and she continued
12505 still to walk along without speaking. "I must not go any farther, I
12506 think, must I?"
12507
12508 "Oh no, I forgot; good-by," said Maggie, pausing, and putting out her
12509 hand to him. The action brought her feeling back in a strong current
12510 to Philip; and after they had stood looking at each other in silence
12511 for a few moments, with their hands clasped, she said, withdrawing her
12512 hand:
12513
12514 "I'm very grateful to you for thinking of me all those years. It is
12515 very sweet to have people love us. What a wonderful, beautiful thing
12516 it seems that God should have made your heart so that you could care
12517 about a queer little girl whom you only knew for a few weeks! I
12518 remember saying to you that I thought you cared for me more than Tom
12519 did."
12520
12521 "Ah, Maggie," said Philip, almost fretfully, "you would never love me
12522 so well as you love your brother."
12523
12524 "Perhaps not," said Maggie, simply; "but then, you know, the first
12525 thing I ever remember in my life is standing with Tom by the side of
12526 the Floss, while he held my hand; everything before that is dark to
12527 me. But I shall never forget you, though we must keep apart."
12528
12529 "Don't say so, Maggie," said Philip. "If I kept that little girl in my
12530 mind for five years, didn't I earn some part in her? She ought not to
12531 take herself quite away from me."
12532
12533 "Not if I were free," said Maggie; "but I am not, I must submit." She
12534 hesitated a moment, and then added, "And I wanted to say to you, that
12535 you had better not take more notice of my brother than just bowing to
12536 him. He once told me not to speak to you again, and he doesn't change
12537 his mind--Oh dear, the sun is set. I am too long away. Good-by." She
12538 gave him her hand once more.
12539
12540 "I shall come here as often as I can till I see you again, Maggie.
12541 Have some feeling for _me_ as well as for others."
12542
12543 "Yes, yes, I have," said Maggie, hurrying away, and quickly
12544 disappearing behind the last fir-tree; though Philip's gaze after her
12545 remained immovable for minutes as if he saw her still.
12546
12547 Maggie went home, with an inward conflict already begun; Philip went
12548 home to do nothing but remember and hope. You can hardly help blaming
12549 him severely. He was four or five years older than Maggie, and had a
12550 full consciousness of his feeling toward her to aid him in foreseeing
12551 the character his contemplated interviews with her would bear in the
12552 opinion of a third person. But you must not suppose that he was
12553 capable of a gross selfishness, or that he could have been satisfied
12554 without persuading himself that he was seeking to infuse some
12555 happiness into Maggie's life,--seeking this even more than any direct
12556 ends for himself. He could give her sympathy; he could give her help.
12557 There was not the slightest promise of love toward him in her manner;
12558 it was nothing more than the sweet girlish tenderness she had shown
12559 him when she was twelve. Perhaps she would never love him; perhaps no
12560 woman ever _could_ love him. Well, then, he would endure that; he
12561 should at least have the happiness of seeing her, of feeling some
12562 nearness to her. And he clutched passionately the possibility that she
12563 _might_ love him; perhaps the feeling would grow, if she could come to
12564 associate him with that watchful tenderness which her nature would be
12565 so keenly alive to. If any woman could love him, surely Maggie was
12566 that woman; there was such wealth of love in her, and there was no one
12567 to claim it all. Then, the pity of it, that a mind like hers should be
12568 withering in its very youth, like a young forest-tree, for want of the
12569 light and space it was formed to flourish in! Could he not hinder
12570 that, by persuading her out of her system of privation? He would be
12571 her guardian angel; he would do anything, bear anything, for her
12572 sake--except not seeing her.
12573
12574
12575
12576 Chapter II
12577
12578 Aunt Glegg Learns the Breadth of Bob's Thumb
12579
12580
12581 While Maggie's life-struggles had lain almost entirely within her own
12582 soul, one shadowy army fighting another, and the slain shadows forever
12583 rising again, Tom was engaged in a dustier, noisier warfare, grappling
12584 with more substantial obstacles, and gaining more definite conquests.
12585 So it has been since the days of Hecuba, and of Hector, Tamer of
12586 horses; inside the gates, the women with streaming hair and uplifted
12587 hands offering prayers, watching the world's combat from afar, filling
12588 their long, empty days with memories and fears; outside, the men, in
12589 fierce struggle with things divine and human, quenching memory in the
12590 stronger light of purpose, losing the sense of dread and even of
12591 wounds in the hurrying ardor of action.
12592
12593 From what you have seen of Tom, I think he is not a youth of whom you
12594 would prophesy failure in anything he had thoroughly wished; the
12595 wagers are likely to be on his side, notwithstanding his small success
12596 in the classics. For Tom had never desired success in this field of
12597 enterprise; and for getting a fine flourishing growth of stupidity
12598 there is nothing like pouring out on a mind a good amount of subjects
12599 in which it feels no interest. But now Tom's strong will bound
12600 together his integrity, his pride, his family regrets, and his
12601 personal ambition, and made them one force, concentrating his efforts
12602 and surmounting discouragements. His uncle Deane, who watched him
12603 closely, soon began to conceive hopes of him, and to be rather proud
12604 that he had brought into the employment of the firm a nephew who
12605 appeared to be made of such good commercial stuff. The real kindness
12606 of placing him in the warehouse first was soon evident to Tom, in the
12607 hints his uncle began to throw out, that after a time he might perhaps
12608 be trusted to travel at certain seasons, and buy in for the firm
12609 various vulgar commodities with which I need not shock refined ears in
12610 this place; and it was doubtless with a view to this result that Mr.
12611 Deane, when he expected to take his wine alone, would tell Tom to step
12612 in and sit with him an hour, and would pass that hour in much
12613 lecturing and catechising concerning articles of export and import,
12614 with an occasional excursus of more indirect utility on the relative
12615 advantages to the merchants of St. Ogg's of having goods brought in
12616 their own and in foreign bottoms,--a subject on which Mr. Deane, as a
12617 ship-owner, naturally threw off a few sparks when he got warmed with
12618 talk and wine.
12619
12620 Already, in the second year, Tom's salary was raised; but all, except
12621 the price of his dinner and clothes, went home into the tin box; and
12622 he shunned comradeship, lest it should lead him into expenses in spite
12623 of himself. Not that Tom was moulded on the spoony type of the
12624 Industrious Apprentice; he had a very strong appetite for
12625 pleasure,--would have liked to be a Tamer of horses and to make a
12626 distinguished figure in all neighboring eyes, dispensing treats and
12627 benefits to others with well-judged liberality, and being pronounced
12628 one of the finest young fellows of those parts; nay, he determined to
12629 achieve these things sooner or later; but his practical shrewdness
12630 told him that the means no such achievements could only lie for him in
12631 present abstinence and self-denial; there were certain milestones to
12632 be passed, and one of the first was the payment of his father's debts.
12633 Having made up his mind on that point, he strode along without
12634 swerving, contracting some rather saturnine sternness, as a young man
12635 is likely to do who has a premature call upon him for self-reliance.
12636 Tom felt intensely that common cause with his father which springs
12637 from family pride, and was bent on being irreproachable as a son; but
12638 his growing experience caused him to pass much silent criticism on the
12639 rashness and imprudence of his father's past conduct; their
12640 dispositions were not in sympathy, and Tom's face showed little
12641 radiance during his few home hours. Maggie had an awe of him, against
12642 which she struggled as something unfair to her consciousness of wider
12643 thoughts and deeper motives; but it was of no use to struggle. A
12644 character at unity with itself--that performs what it intends, subdues
12645 every counteracting impulse, and has no visions beyond the distinctly
12646 possible--is strong by its very negations.
12647
12648 You may imagine that Tom's more and more obvious unlikeness to his
12649 father was well fitted to conciliate the maternal aunts and uncles;
12650 and Mr. Deane's favorable reports and predictions to Mr. Glegg
12651 concerning Tom's qualifications for business began to be discussed
12652 amongst them with various acceptance. He was likely, it appeared, to
12653 do the family credit without causing it any expense and trouble. Mrs.
12654 Pullet had always thought it strange if Tom's excellent complexion, so
12655 entirely that of the Dodsons, did not argue a certainty that he would
12656 turn out well; his juvenile errors of running down the peacock, and
12657 general disrespect to his aunts, only indicating a tinge of Tulliver
12658 blood which he had doubtless outgrown. Mr. Glegg, who had contracted a
12659 cautious liking for Tom ever since his spirited and sensible behavior
12660 when the execution was in the house, was now warming into a resolution
12661 to further his prospects actively,--some time, when an opportunity
12662 offered of doing so in a prudent manner, without ultimate loss; but
12663 Mrs. Glegg observed that she was not given to speak without book, as
12664 some people were; that those who said least were most likely to find
12665 their words made good; and that when the right moment came, it would
12666 be seen who could do something better than talk. Uncle Pullet, after
12667 silent meditation for a period of several lozenges, came distinctly to
12668 the conclusion, that when a young man was likely to do well, it was
12669 better not to meddle with him.
12670
12671 Tom, meanwhile, had shown no disposition to rely on any one but
12672 himself, though, with a natural sensitiveness toward all indications
12673 of favorable opinion, he was glad to see his uncle Glegg look in on
12674 him sometimes in a friendly way during business hours, and glad to be
12675 invited to dine at his house, though he usually preferred declining on
12676 the ground that he was not sure of being punctual. But about a year
12677 ago, something had occurred which induced Tom to test his uncle
12678 Glegg's friendly disposition.
12679
12680 Bob Jakin, who rarely returned from one of his rounds without seeing
12681 Tom and Maggie, awaited him on the bridge as he was coming home from
12682 St. Ogg's one evening, that they might have a little private talk. He
12683 took the liberty of asking if Mr. Tom had ever thought of making money
12684 by trading a bit on his own account. Trading, how? Tom wished to know.
12685 Why, by sending out a bit of a cargo to foreign ports; because Bob had
12686 a particular friend who had offered to do a little business for him in
12687 that way in Laceham goods, and would be glad to serve Mr. Tom on the
12688 same footing. Tom was interested at once, and begged for full
12689 explanation, wondering he had not thought of this plan before.
12690
12691 He was so well pleased with the prospect of a speculation that might
12692 change the slow process of addition into multiplication, that he at
12693 once determined to mention the matter to his father, and get his
12694 consent to appropriate some of the savings in the tin box to the
12695 purchase of a small cargo. He would rather not have consulted his
12696 father, but he had just paid his last quarter's money into the tin
12697 box, and there was no other resource. All the savings were there; for
12698 Mr. Tulliver would not consent to put the money out at interest lest
12699 he should lose it. Since he had speculated in the purchase of some
12700 corn, and had lost by it, he could not be easy without keeping the
12701 money under his eye.
12702
12703 Tom approached the subject carefully, as he was seated on the hearth
12704 with his father that evening, and Mr. Tulliver listened, leaning
12705 forward in his arm-chair and looking up in Tom's face with a sceptical
12706 glance. His first impulse was to give a positive refusal, but he was
12707 in some awe of Tom's wishes, and since he had the sense of being an
12708 "unlucky" father, he had lost some of his old peremptoriness and
12709 determination to be master. He took the key of the bureau from his
12710 pocket, got out the key of the large chest, and fetched down the tin
12711 box,--slowly, as if he were trying to defer the moment of a painful
12712 parting. Then he seated himself against the table, and opened the box
12713 with that little padlock-key which he fingered in his waistcoat pocket
12714 in all vacant moments. There they were, the dingy bank-notes and the
12715 bright sovereigns, and he counted them out on the table--only a
12716 hundred and sixteen pounds in two years, after all the pinching.
12717
12718 "How much do you want, then?" he said, speaking as if the words burnt
12719 his lips.
12720
12721 "Suppose I begin with the thirty-six pounds, father?" said Tom.
12722
12723 Mr. Tulliver separated this sum from the rest, and keeping his hand
12724 over it, said:
12725
12726 "It's as much as I can save out o' my pay in a year."
12727
12728 "Yes, father; it is such slow work, saving out of the little money we
12729 get. And in this way we might double our savings."
12730
12731 "Ay, my lad," said the father, keeping his hand on the money, "but you
12732 might lose it,--you might lose a year o' my life,--and I haven't got
12733 many."
12734
12735 Tom was silent.
12736
12737 "And you know I wouldn't pay a dividend with the first hundred,
12738 because I wanted to see it all in a lump,--and when I see it, I'm sure
12739 on't. If you trust to luck, it's sure to be against me. It's Old
12740 Harry's got the luck in his hands; and if I lose one year, I shall
12741 never pick it up again; death 'ull o'ertake me."
12742
12743 Mr. Tulliver's voice trembled, and Tom was silent for a few minutes
12744 before he said:
12745
12746 "I'll give it up, father, since you object to it so strongly."
12747
12748 But, unwilling to abandon the scheme altogether, he determined to ask
12749 his uncle Glegg to venture twenty pounds, on condition of receiving
12750 five per cent. of the profits. That was really a very small thing to
12751 ask. So when Bob called the next day at the wharf to know the
12752 decision, Tom proposed that they should go together to his uncle
12753 Glegg's to open the business; for his diffident pride clung to him,
12754 and made him feel that Bobs' tongue would relieve him from some
12755 embarrassment.
12756
12757 Mr. Glegg, at the pleasant hour of four in the afternoon of a hot
12758 August day, was naturally counting his wall-fruit to assure himself
12759 that the sum total had not varied since yesterday. To him entered Tom,
12760 in what appeared to Mr. Glegg very questionable companionship,--that
12761 of a man with a pack on his back,--for Bob was equipped for a new
12762 journey,--and of a huge brindled bull-terrier, who walked with a slow,
12763 swaying movement from side to side, and glanced from under his
12764 eye-lids with a surly indifference which might after all be a cover to
12765 the most offensive designs.
12766
12767 Mr. Glegg's spectacles, which had been assisting him in counting the
12768 fruit, made these suspicious details alarmingly evident to him.
12769
12770 "Heigh! heigh! keep that dog back, will you?" he shouted, snatching up
12771 a stake and holding it before him as a shield when the visitors were
12772 within three yards of him.
12773
12774 "Get out wi' you, Mumps," said Bob, with a kick. "He's as quiet as a
12775 lamb, sir,"--an observation which Mumps corroborated by a low growl as
12776 he retreated behind his master's legs.
12777
12778 "Why, what ever does this mean, Tom?" said Mr. Glegg. "Have you
12779 brought information about the scoundrels as cut my trees?" If Bob came
12780 in the character of "information," Mr. Glegg saw reasons for
12781 tolerating some irregularity.
12782
12783 "No, sir," said Tom; "I came to speak to you about a little matter of
12784 business of my own."
12785
12786 "Ay--well; but what has this dog got to do with it?" said the old
12787 gentleman, getting mild again.
12788
12789 "It's my dog, sir," said the ready Bob. "An' it's me as put Mr. Tom up
12790 to the bit o' business; for Mr. Tom's been a friend o' mine iver since
12791 I was a little chap; fust thing iver I did was frightenin' the birds
12792 for th' old master. An' if a bit o' luck turns up, I'm allays thinkin'
12793 if I can let Mr. Tom have a pull at it. An' it's a downright roarin'
12794 shame, as when he's got the chance o' making a bit o' money wi'
12795 sending goods out,--ten or twelve per zent clear, when freight an'
12796 commission's paid,--as he shouldn't lay hold o' the chance for want o'
12797 money. An' when there's the Laceham goods,--lors! they're made o'
12798 purpose for folks as want to send out a little carguy; light, an' take
12799 up no room,--you may pack twenty pound so as you can't see the
12800 passill; an' they're manifacturs as please fools, so I reckon they
12801 aren't like to want a market. An' I'd go to Laceham an' buy in the
12802 goods for Mr. Tom along wi' my own. An' there's the shupercargo o' the
12803 bit of a vessel as is goin' to take 'em out. I know him partic'lar;
12804 he's a solid man, an' got a family i' the town here. Salt, his name
12805 is,--an' a briny chap he is too,--an' if you don't believe me, I can
12806 take you to him."
12807
12808 Uncle Glegg stood open-mouthed with astonishment at this unembarrassed
12809 loquacity, with which his understanding could hardly keep pace. He
12810 looked at Bob, first over his spectacles, then through them, then over
12811 them again; while Tom, doubtful of his uncle's impression, began to
12812 wish he had not brought this singular Aaron, or mouthpiece. Bob's talk
12813 appeared less seemly, now some one besides himself was listening to
12814 it.
12815
12816 "You seem to be a knowing fellow," said Mr. Glegg, at last.
12817
12818 "Ay, sir, you say true," returned Bob, nodding his head aside; "I
12819 think my head's all alive inside like an old cheese, for I'm so full
12820 o' plans, one knocks another over. If I hadn't Mumps to talk to, I
12821 should get top-heavy an' tumble in a fit. I suppose it's because I
12822 niver went to school much. That's what I jaw my old mother for. I
12823 says, 'You should ha' sent me to school a bit more,' I says, 'an' then
12824 I could ha' read i' the books like fun, an' kep' my head cool an'
12825 empty.' Lors, she's fine an' comfor'ble now, my old mother is; she
12826 ates her baked meat an' taters as often as she likes. For I'm gettin'
12827 so full o' money, I must hev a wife to spend it for me. But it's
12828 botherin,' a wife is,--and Mumps mightn't like her."
12829
12830 Uncle Glegg, who regarded himself as a jocose man since he had retired
12831 from business, was beginning to find Bob amusing, but he had still a
12832 disapproving observation to make, which kept his face serious.
12833
12834 "Ah," he said, "I should think you're at a loss for ways o' spending
12835 your money, else you wouldn't keep that big dog, to eat as much as two
12836 Christians. It's shameful--shameful!" But he spoke more in sorrow than
12837 in anger, and quickly added:
12838
12839 "But, come now, let's hear more about this business, Tom. I suppose
12840 you want a little sum to make a venture with. But where's all your own
12841 money? You don't spend it all--eh?"
12842
12843 "No, sir," said Tom, coloring; "but my father is unwilling to risk it,
12844 and I don't like to press him. If I could get twenty or thirty pounds
12845 to begin with, I could pay five per cent for it, and then I could
12846 gradually make a little capital of my own, and do without a loan."
12847
12848 "Ay--ay," said Mr. Glegg, in an approving tone; "that's not a bad
12849 notion, and I won't say as I wouldn't be your man. But it 'ull be as
12850 well for me to see this Salt, as you talk on. And then--here's this
12851 friend o' yours offers to buy the goods for you. Perhaps you've got
12852 somebody to stand surety for you if the money's put into your hands?"
12853 added the cautious old gentleman, looking over his spectacles at Bob.
12854
12855 "I don't think that's necessary, uncle," said Tom. "At least, I mean
12856 it would not be necessary for me, because I know Bob well; but perhaps
12857 it would be right for you to have some security."
12858
12859 "You get your percentage out o' the purchase, I suppose?" said Mr.
12860 Glegg, looking at Bob.
12861
12862 "No, sir," said Bob, rather indignantly; "I didn't offer to get a
12863 apple for Mr. Tom, o' purpose to hev a bite out of it myself. When I
12864 play folks tricks, there'll be more fun in 'em nor that."
12865
12866 "Well, but it's nothing but right you should have a small percentage,"
12867 said Mr. Glegg. "I've no opinion o' transactions where folks do things
12868 for nothing. It allays looks bad."
12869
12870 "Well, then," said Bob, whose keenness saw at once what was implied,
12871 "I'll tell you what I get by't, an' it's money in my pocket in the
12872 end,--I make myself look big, wi' makin' a bigger purchase. That's
12873 what I'm thinking on. Lors! I'm a 'cute chap,--I am."
12874
12875 "Mr. Glegg, Mr. Glegg!" said a severe voice from the open parlor
12876 window, "pray are you coming in to tea, or are you going to stand
12877 talking with packmen till you get murdered in the open daylight?"
12878
12879 "Murdered?" said Mr. Glegg; "what's the woman talking of? Here's your
12880 nephey Tom come about a bit o' business."
12881
12882 "Murdered,--yes,--it isn't many 'sizes ago since a packman murdered a
12883 young woman in a lone place, and stole her thimble, and threw her body
12884 into a ditch."
12885
12886 "Nay, nay," said Mr. Glegg, soothingly, "you're thinking o' the man
12887 wi' no legs, as drove a dog-cart."
12888
12889 "Well, it's the same thing, Mr. Glegg, only you're fond o'
12890 contradicting what I say; and if my nephey's come about business, it
12891 'ud be more fitting if you'd bring him into the house, and let his
12892 aunt know about it, instead o' whispering in corners, in that
12893 plotting, underminding way."
12894
12895 "Well, well," said Mr. Glegg, "we'll come in now."
12896
12897 "You needn't stay here," said the lady to Bob, in a loud voice,
12898 adapted to the moral, not the physical, distance between them. "We
12899 don't want anything. I don't deal wi' packmen. Mind you shut the gate
12900 after you."
12901
12902 "Stop a bit; not so fast," said Mr. Glegg; "I haven't done with this
12903 young man yet. Come in, Tom; come in," he added, stepping in at the
12904 French window.
12905
12906 "Mr. Glegg," said Mrs. G., in a fatal tone, "if you're going to let
12907 that man and his dog in on my carpet, before my very face, be so good
12908 as to let me know. A wife's got a right to ask that, I hope."
12909
12910 "Don't you be uneasy, mum," said Bob, touching his cap. He saw at once
12911 that Mrs. Glegg was a bit of game worth running down, and longed to be
12912 at the sport; "we'll stay out upo' the gravel here,--Mumps and me
12913 will. Mumps knows his company,--he does. I might hish at him by th'
12914 hour together, before he'd fly at a real gentlewoman like you. It's
12915 wonderful how he knows which is the good-looking ladies; and's
12916 partic'lar fond of 'em when they've good shapes. Lors!" added Bob,
12917 laying down his pack on the gravel, "it's a thousand pities such a
12918 lady as you shouldn't deal with a packman, i' stead o' goin' into
12919 these newfangled shops, where there's half-a-dozen fine gents wi'
12920 their chins propped up wi' a stiff stock, a-looking like bottles wi'
12921 ornamental stoppers, an' all got to get their dinner out of a bit o'
12922 calico; it stan's to reason you must pay three times the price you pay
12923 a packman, as is the nat'ral way o' gettin' goods,--an' pays no rent,
12924 an' isn't forced to throttle himself till the lies are squeezed out on
12925 him, whether he will or no. But lors! mum, you know what it is better
12926 nor I do,--_you_ can see through them shopmen, I'll be bound."
12927
12928 "Yes, I reckon I can, and through the packmen too," observed Mrs.
12929 Glegg, intending to imply that Bob's flattery had produced no effect
12930 on _her;_ while her husband, standing behind her with his hands in his
12931 pockets and legs apart, winked and smiled with conjugal delight at the
12932 probability of his wife's being circumvented.
12933
12934 "Ay, to be sure, mum," said Bob. "Why, you must ha' dealt wi' no end
12935 o' packmen when you war a young lass--before the master here had the
12936 luck to set eyes on you. I know where you lived, I do,--seen th' house
12937 many a time,--close upon Squire Darleigh's,--a stone house wi'
12938 steps----"
12939
12940 "Ah, that it had," said Mrs. Glegg, pouring out the tea. "You know
12941 something o' my family, then? Are you akin to that packman with a
12942 squint in his eye, as used to bring th' Irish linen?"
12943
12944 "Look you there now!" said Bob, evasively. "Didn't I know as you'd
12945 remember the best bargains you've made in your life was made wi'
12946 packmen? Why, you see even a squintin' packman's better nor a shopman
12947 as can see straight. Lors! if I'd had the luck to call at the stone
12948 house wi' my pack, as lies here,"--stooping and thumping the bundle
12949 emphatically with his fist,--"an' th' handsome young lasses all
12950 stannin' out on the stone steps, it ud' ha' been summat like openin' a
12951 pack, that would. It's on'y the poor houses now as a packman calls on,
12952 if it isn't for the sake o' the sarvant-maids. They're paltry times,
12953 these are. Why, mum, look at the printed cottons now, an' what they
12954 was when you wore 'em,--why, you wouldn't put such a thing on now, I
12955 can see. It must be first-rate quality, the manifactur as you'd
12956 buy,--summat as 'ud wear as well as your own faitures."
12957
12958 "Yes, better quality nor any you're like to carry; you've got nothing
12959 first-rate but brazenness, I'll be bound," said Mrs. Glegg, with a
12960 triumphant sense of her insurmountable sagacity. "Mr. Glegg, are you
12961 going ever to sit down to your tea? Tom, there's a cup for you."
12962
12963 "You speak true there, mum," said Bob. "My pack isn't for ladies like
12964 you. The time's gone by for that. Bargains picked up dirt cheap! A bit
12965 o' damage here an' there, as can be cut out, or else niver seen i' the
12966 wearin', but not fit to offer to rich folks as can pay for the look o'
12967 things as nobody sees. I'm not the man as 'ud offer t' open my pack to
12968 _you_, mum; no, no; I'm a imperent chap, as you say,--these times
12969 makes folks imperent,--but I'm not up to the mark o' that."
12970
12971 "Why, what goods do you carry in your pack?" said Mrs. Glegg.
12972 "Fine-colored things, I suppose,--shawls an' that?"
12973
12974 "All sorts, mum, all sorts," said Bob,--thumping his bundle; "but let
12975 us say no more about that, if _you_ please. I'm here upo' Mr. Tom's
12976 business, an' I'm not the man to take up the time wi' my own."
12977
12978 "And pray, what _is_ this business as is to be kept from me?" said
12979 Mrs. Glegg, who, solicited by a double curiosity, was obliged to let
12980 the one-half wait.
12981
12982 "A little plan o' nephey Tom's here," said good-natured Mr. Glegg;
12983 "and not altogether a bad 'un, I think. A little plan for making
12984 money; that's the right sort o' plan for young folks as have got their
12985 fortin to make, eh, Jane?"
12986
12987 "But I hope it isn't a plan where he expects iverything to be done for
12988 him by his friends; that's what the young folks think of mostly
12989 nowadays. And pray, what has this packman got to do wi' what goes on
12990 in our family? Can't you speak for yourself, Tom, and let your aunt
12991 know things, as a nephey should?"
12992
12993 "This is Bob Jakin, aunt," said Tom, bridling the irritation that aunt
12994 Glegg's voice always produced. "I've known him ever since we were
12995 little boys. He's a very good fellow, and always ready to do me a
12996 kindness. And he has had some experience in sending goods out,--a
12997 small part of a cargo as a private speculation; and he thinks if I
12998 could begin to do a little in the same way, I might make some money. A
12999 large interest is got in that way."
13000
13001 "Large int'rest?" said aunt Glegg, with eagerness; "and what do you
13002 call large int'rest?"
13003
13004 "Ten or twelve per cent, Bob says, after expenses are paid."
13005
13006 "Then why wasn't I let to know o' such things before, Mr. Glegg?" said
13007 Mrs. Glegg, turning to her husband, with a deep grating tone of
13008 reproach. "Haven't you allays told me as there was no getting more nor
13009 five per cent?"
13010
13011 "Pooh, pooh, nonsense, my good woman," said Mr. Glegg. "You couldn't
13012 go into trade, could you? You can't get more than five per cent with
13013 security."
13014
13015 "But I can turn a bit o' money for you, an' welcome, mum," said Bob,
13016 "if you'd like to risk it,--not as there's any risk to speak on. But
13017 if you'd a mind to lend a bit o' money to Mr. Tom, he'd pay you six or
13018 seven per zent, an' get a trifle for himself as well; an' a
13019 good-natur'd lady like you 'ud like the feel o' the money better if
13020 your nephey took part on it."
13021
13022 "What do you say, Mrs. G.?" said Mr. Glegg. "I've a notion, when I've
13023 made a bit more inquiry, as I shall perhaps start Tom here with a bit
13024 of a nest-egg,--he'll pay me int'rest, you know,--an' if you've got
13025 some little sums lyin' idle twisted up in a stockin' toe, or that----"
13026
13027 "Mr. Glegg, it's beyond iverything! You'll go and give information to
13028 the tramps next, as they may come and rob me."
13029
13030 "Well, well, as I was sayin', if you like to join me wi' twenty
13031 pounds, you can--I'll make it fifty. That'll be a pretty good
13032 nest-egg, eh, Tom?"
13033
13034 "You're not counting on me, Mr. Glegg, I hope," said his wife. "You
13035 could do fine things wi' my money, I don't doubt."
13036
13037 "Very well," said Mr. Glegg, rather snappishly, "then we'll do without
13038 you. I shall go with you to see this Salt," he added, turning to Bob.
13039
13040 "And now, I suppose, you'll go all the other way, Mr. Glegg," said
13041 Mrs. G., "and want to shut me out o' my own nephey's business. I never
13042 said I wouldn't put money into it,--I don't say as it shall be twenty
13043 pounds, though you're so ready to say it for me,--but he'll see some
13044 day as his aunt's in the right not to risk the money she's saved for
13045 him till it's proved as it won't be lost."
13046
13047 "Ay, that's a pleasant sort o'risk, that is," said Mr. Glegg,
13048 indiscreetly winking at Tom, who couldn't avoid smiling. But Bob
13049 stemmed the injured lady's outburst.
13050
13051 "Ay, mum," he said admiringly, "you know what's what--you do. An' it's
13052 nothing but fair. _You_ see how the first bit of a job answers, an'
13053 then you'll come down handsome. Lors, it's a fine thing to hev good
13054 kin. I got my bit of a nest-egg, as the master calls it, all by my own
13055 sharpness,--ten suvreigns it was,--wi' dousing the fire at Torry's
13056 mill, an' it's growed an' growed by a bit an' a bit, till I'n got a
13057 matter o' thirty pound to lay out, besides makin' my mother
13058 comfor'ble. I should get more, on'y I'm such a soft wi' the women,--I
13059 can't help lettin' 'em hev such good bargains. There's this bundle,
13060 now," thumping it lustily, "any other chap 'ud make a pretty penny out
13061 on it. But me!--lors, I shall sell 'em for pretty near what I paid for
13062 'em."
13063
13064 "Have you got a bit of good net, now?" said Mrs. Glegg, in a
13065 patronizing tone, moving from the tea-table, and folding her napkin.
13066
13067 "Eh, mum, not what you'd think it worth your while to look at. I'd
13068 scorn to show it you. It 'ud be an insult to you."
13069
13070 "But let me see," said Mrs. Glegg, still patronizing. "If they're
13071 damaged goods, they're like enough to be a bit the better quality."
13072
13073 "No, mum, I know my place," said Bob, lifting up his pack and
13074 shouldering it. "I'm not going t' expose the lowness o' my trade to a
13075 lady like you. Packs is come down i' the world; it 'ud cut you to th'
13076 heart to see the difference. I'm at your sarvice, sir, when you've a
13077 mind to go and see Salt."
13078
13079 "All in good time," said Mr. Glegg, really unwilling to cut short the
13080 dialogue. "Are you wanted at the wharf, Tom?"
13081
13082 "No, sir; I left Stowe in my place."
13083
13084 "Come, put down your pack, and let me see," said Mrs. Glegg, drawing a
13085 chair to the window and seating herself with much dignity.
13086
13087 "Don't you ask it, mum," said Bob, entreatingly.
13088
13089 "Make no more words," said Mrs. Glegg, severely, "but do as I tell
13090 you."
13091
13092 "Eh mum, I'm loth, that I am," said Bob, slowly depositing his pack on
13093 the step, and beginning to untie it with unwilling fingers. "But what
13094 you order shall be done" (much fumbling in pauses between the
13095 sentences). "It's not as you'll buy a single thing on me,--I'd be
13096 sorry for you to do it,--for think o' them poor women up i' the
13097 villages there, as niver stir a hundred yards from home,--it 'ud be a
13098 pity for anybody to buy up their bargains. Lors, it's as good as a
13099 junketing to 'em when they see me wi' my pack, an' I shall niver pick
13100 up such bargains for 'em again. Least ways, I've no time now, for I'm
13101 off to Laceham. See here now," Bob went on, becoming rapid again, and
13102 holding up a scarlet woollen Kerchief with an embroidered wreath in
13103 the corner; "here's a thing to make a lass's mouth water, an' on'y two
13104 shillin'--an' why? Why, 'cause there's a bit of a moth-hole 'i this
13105 plain end. Lors, I think the moths an' the mildew was sent by
13106 Providence o' purpose to cheapen the goods a bit for the good-lookin'
13107 women as han't got much money. If it hadn't been for the moths, now,
13108 every hankicher on 'em 'ud ha' gone to the rich, handsome ladies, like
13109 you, mum, at five shillin' apiece,--not a farthin' less; but what does
13110 the moth do? Why, it nibbles off three shillin' o' the price i' no
13111 time; an' then a packman like me can carry 't to the poor lasses as
13112 live under the dark thack, to make a bit of a blaze for 'em. Lors,
13113 it's as good as a fire, to look at such a hankicher!"
13114
13115 Bob held it at a distance for admiration, but Mrs. Glegg said sharply:
13116
13117 "Yes, but nobody wants a fire this time o' year. Put these colored
13118 things by; let me look at your nets, if you've got 'em."
13119
13120 "Eh, mum, I told you how it 'ud be," said Bob, flinging aside the
13121 colored things with an air of desperation. "I knowed it ud' turn
13122 again' you to look at such paltry articles as I carry. Here's a piece
13123 o' figured muslin now, what's the use o' you lookin' at it? You might
13124 as well look at poor folks's victual, mum; it 'ud on'y take away your
13125 appetite. There's a yard i' the middle on't as the pattern's all
13126 missed,--lors, why, it's a muslin as the Princess Victoree might ha'
13127 wore; but," added Bob, flinging it behind him on to the turf, as if to
13128 save Mrs. Glegg's eyes, "it'll be bought up by the huckster's wife at
13129 Fibb's End,--that's where _it'll_ go--ten shillin' for the whole
13130 lot--ten yards, countin' the damaged un--five-an'-twenty shillin' 'ud
13131 ha' been the price, not a penny less. But I'll say no more, mum; it's
13132 nothing to you, a piece o' muslin like that; you can afford to pay
13133 three times the money for a thing as isn't half so good. It's nets
13134 _you_ talked on; well, I've got a piece as 'ull serve you to make fun
13135 on----"
13136
13137 "Bring me that muslin," said Mrs. Glegg. "It's a buff; I'm partial to
13138 buff."
13139
13140 "Eh, but a _damaged_ thing," said Bob, in a tone of deprecating
13141 disgust. "You'd do nothing with it, mum, you'd give it to the cook, I
13142 know you would, an' it 'ud be a pity,--she'd look too much like a lady
13143 in it; it's unbecoming for servants."
13144
13145 "Fetch it, and let me see you measure it," said Mrs. Glegg,
13146 authoritatively.
13147
13148 Bob obeyed with ostentatious reluctance.
13149
13150 "See what there is over measure!" he said, holding forth the extra
13151 half-yard, while Mrs. Glegg was busy examining the damaged yard, and
13152 throwing her head back to see how far the fault would be lost on a
13153 distant view.
13154
13155 "I'll give you six shilling for it," she said, throwing it down with
13156 the air of a person who mentions an ultimatum.
13157
13158 "Didn't I tell you now, mum, as it 'ud hurt your feelings to look at
13159 my pack? That damaged bit's turned your stomach now; I see it has,"
13160 said Bob, wrapping the muslin up with the utmost quickness, and
13161 apparently about to fasten up his pack. "You're used to seein' a
13162 different sort o' article carried by packmen, when you lived at the
13163 stone house. Packs is come down i' the world; I told you that; _my_
13164 goods are for common folks. Mrs. Pepper 'ull give me ten shillin' for
13165 that muslin, an' be sorry as I didn't ask her more. Such articles
13166 answer i' the wearin',--they keep their color till the threads melt
13167 away i' the wash-tub, an' that won't be while _I'm_ a young un."
13168
13169 "Well, seven shilling," said Mrs. Glegg.
13170
13171 "Put it out o' your mind, mum, now do," said Bob. "Here's a bit o'
13172 net, then, for you to look at before I tie up my pack, just for you to
13173 see what my trade's come to,--spotted and sprigged, you see, beautiful
13174 but yallow,--'s been lyin' by an' got the wrong color. I could niver
13175 ha' bought such net, if it hadn't been yallow. Lors, it's took me a
13176 deal o' study to know the vally o' such articles; when I begun to
13177 carry a pack, I was as ignirant as a pig; net or calico was all the
13178 same to me. I thought them things the most vally as was the thickest.
13179 I was took in dreadful, for I'm a straightforrard chap,--up to no
13180 tricks, mum. I can only say my nose is my own, for if I went beyond, I
13181 should lose myself pretty quick. An' I gev five-an'-eightpence for
13182 that piece o' net,--if I was to tell y' anything else I should be
13183 tellin' you fibs,--an' five-an'-eightpence I shall ask of it, not a
13184 penny more, for it's a woman's article, an' I like to 'commodate the
13185 women. Five-an'-eightpence for six yards,--as cheap as if it was only
13186 the dirt on it as was paid for.'"
13187
13188 "I don't mind having three yards of it,'" said Mrs. Glegg.
13189
13190 "Why, there's but six altogether," said Bob. "No, mum, it isn't worth
13191 your while; you can go to the shop to-morrow an' get the same pattern
13192 ready whitened. It's on'y three times the money; what's that to a lady
13193 like you?" He gave an emphatic tie to his bundle.
13194
13195 "Come, lay me out that muslin," said Mrs. Glegg. "Here's eight
13196 shilling for it."
13197
13198 "You _will_ be jokin'," said Bob, looking up with a laughing face; "I
13199 see'd you was a pleasant lady when I fust come to the winder."
13200
13201 "Well, put it me out," said Mrs. Glegg, peremptorily.
13202
13203 "But if I let you have it for ten shillin', mum, you'll be so good as
13204 not tell nobody. I should be a laughin'-stock; the trade 'ud hoot me,
13205 if they knowed it. I'm obliged to make believe as I ask more nor I do
13206 for my goods, else they'd find out I was a flat. I'm glad you don't
13207 insist upo' buyin' the net, for then I should ha' lost my two best
13208 bargains for Mrs. Pepper o' Fibb's End, an' she's a rare customer."
13209
13210 "Let me look at the net again," said Mrs. Glegg, yearning after the
13211 cheap spots and sprigs, now they were vanishing.
13212
13213 "Well, I can't deny _you_, mum," said Bob handing it out.
13214
13215 "Eh!, see what a pattern now! Real Laceham goods. Now, this is the
13216 sort o' article I'm recommendin' Mr. Tom to send out. Lors, it's a
13217 fine thing for anybody as has got a bit o' money; these Laceham goods
13218 'ud make it breed like maggits. If I was a lady wi' a bit o'
13219 money!--why, I know one as put thirty pounds into them goods,--a lady
13220 wi' a cork leg, but as sharp,--you wouldn't catch _her_ runnin' her
13221 head into a sack; _she'd_ see her way clear out o' anything afore
13222 she'd be in a hurry to start. Well, she let out thirty pound to a
13223 young man in the drapering line, and he laid it out i' Laceham goods,
13224 an' a shupercargo o' my acquinetance (not Salt) took 'em out, an' she
13225 got her eight per zent fust go off; an' now you can't hold her but she
13226 must be sendin' out carguies wi' every ship, till she's gettin' as
13227 rich as a Jew. Bucks her name is, she doesn't live i' this town. Now
13228 then, mum, if you'll please to give me the net----"
13229
13230 "Here's fifteen shilling, then, for the two," said Mrs. Glegg. "But
13231 it's a shameful price."
13232
13233 "Nay, mum, you'll niver say that when you're upo' your knees i' church
13234 i' five years' time. I'm makin' you a present o' th' articles; I am,
13235 indeed. That eightpence shaves off my profits as clean as a razor. Now
13236 then, sir," continued Bob, shouldering his pack, "if you please, I'll
13237 be glad to go and see about makin' Mr. Tom's fortin. Eh, I wish I'd
13238 got another twenty pound to lay out _my_sen; I shouldn't stay to say
13239 my Catechism afore I knowed what to do wi't."
13240
13241 "Stop a bit, Mr. Glegg," said the lady, as her husband took his hat,
13242 "you never _will_ give me the chance o' speaking. You'll go away now,
13243 and finish everything about this business, and come back and tell me
13244 it's too late for me to speak. As if I wasn't my nephey's own aunt,
13245 and the head o' the family on his mother's side! and laid by guineas,
13246 all full weight, for him, as he'll know who to respect when I'm laid
13247 in my coffin."
13248
13249 "Well, Mrs. G., say what you mean," said Mr. G., hastily.
13250
13251 "Well, then, I desire as nothing may be done without my knowing. I
13252 don't say as I sha'n't venture twenty pounds, if you make out as
13253 everything's right and safe. And if I do, Tom," concluded Mrs. Glegg,
13254 turning impressively to her nephew, "I hope you'll allays bear it in
13255 mind and be grateful for such an aunt. I mean you to pay me interest,
13256 you know; I don't approve o' giving; we niver looked for that in _my_
13257 family."
13258
13259 "Thank you, aunt," said Tom, rather proudly. "I prefer having the
13260 money only lent to me."
13261
13262 "Very well; that's the Dodson sperrit," said Mrs. Glegg, rising to get
13263 her knitting with the sense that any further remark after this would
13264 be bathos.
13265
13266 Salt--that eminently "briny chap"--having been discovered in a cloud
13267 of tobacco-smoke at the Anchor Tavern, Mr. Glegg commenced inquiries
13268 which turned out satisfactorily enough to warrant the advance of the
13269 "nest-egg," to which aunt Glegg contributed twenty pounds; and in this
13270 modest beginning you see the ground of a fact which might otherwise
13271 surprise you; namely, Tom's accumulation of a fund, unknown to his
13272 father, that promised in no very long time to meet the more tardy
13273 process of saving, and quite cover the deficit. When once his
13274 attention had been turned to this source of gain, Tom determined to
13275 make the most of it, and lost no opportunity of obtaining information
13276 and extending his small enterprises. In not telling his father, he was
13277 influenced by that strange mixture of opposite feelings which often
13278 gives equal truth to those who blame an action and those who admire
13279 it,--partly, it was that disinclination to confidence which is seen
13280 between near kindred, that family repulsion which spoils the most
13281 sacred relations of our lives; partly, it was the desire to surprise
13282 his father with a great joy. He did not see that it would have been
13283 better to soothe the interval with a new hope, and prevent the
13284 delirium of a too sudden elation.
13285
13286 At the time of Maggie's first meeting with Philip, Tom had already
13287 nearly a hundred and fifty pounds of his own capital; and while they
13288 were walking by the evening light in the Red Deeps, he, by the same
13289 evening light, was riding into Laceham, proud of being on his first
13290 journey on behalf of Guest & Co., and revolving in his mind all the
13291 chances that by the end of another year he should have doubled his
13292 gains, lifted off the obloquy of debt from his father's name, and
13293 perhaps--for he should be twenty-one--have got a new start for
13294 himself, on a higher platform of employment. Did he not desire it? He
13295 was quite sure that he did.
13296
13297
13298
13299 Chapter III
13300
13301 The Wavering Balance
13302
13303
13304 I said that Maggie went home that evening from the Red Deeps with a
13305 mental conflict already begun. You have seen clearly enough, in her
13306 interview with Philip, what that conflict was. Here suddenly was an
13307 opening in the rocky wall which shut in the narrow valley of
13308 humiliation, where all her prospect was the remote, unfathomed sky;
13309 and some of the memory-haunting earthly delights were no longer out of
13310 her reach. She might have books, converse, affection; she might hear
13311 tidings of the world from which her mind had not yet lost its sense of
13312 exile; and it would be a kindness to Philip too, who was
13313 pitiable,--clearly not happy. And perhaps here was an opportunity
13314 indicated for making her mind more worthy of its highest service;
13315 perhaps the noblest, completest devoutness could hardly exist without
13316 some width of knowledge; _must_ she always live in this resigned
13317 imprisonment? It was so blameless, so good a thing that there should
13318 be friendship between her and Philip; the motives that forbade it were
13319 so unreasonable, so unchristian! But the severe monotonous warning
13320 came again and again,--that she was losing the simplicity and
13321 clearness of her life by admitting a ground of concealment; and that,
13322 by forsaking the simple rule of renunciation, she was throwing herself
13323 under the seductive guidance of illimitable wants. She thought she had
13324 won strength to obey the warning before she allowed herself the next
13325 week to turn her steps in the evening to the Red Deeps. But while she
13326 was resolved to say an affectionate farewell to Philip, how she looked
13327 forward to that evening walk in the still, fleckered shade of the
13328 hollows, away from all that was harsh and unlovely; to the
13329 affectionate, admiring looks that would meet her; to the sense of
13330 comradeship that childish memories would give to wiser, older talk; to
13331 the certainty that Philip would care to hear everything she said,
13332 which no one else cared for! It was a half-hour that it would be very
13333 hard to turn her back upon, with the sense that there would be no
13334 other like it. Yet she said what she meant to say; she looked firm as
13335 well as sad.
13336
13337 "Philip, I have made up my mind; it is right that we should give each
13338 other up, in everything but memory. I could not see you without
13339 concealment--stay, I know what you are going to say,--it is other
13340 people's wrong feelings that make concealment necessary; but
13341 concealment is bad, however it may be caused. I feel that it would be
13342 bad for me, for us both. And then, if our secret were discovered,
13343 there would be nothing but misery,--dreadful anger; and then we must
13344 part after all, and it would be harder, when we were used to seeing
13345 each other."
13346
13347 Philip's face had flushed, and there was a momentary eagerness of
13348 expression, as if he had been about to resist this decision with all
13349 his might.
13350
13351 But he controlled himself, and said, with assumed calmness: "Well,
13352 Maggie, if we must part, let us try and forget it for one half hour;
13353 let us talk together a little while, for the last time."
13354
13355 He took her hand, and Maggie felt no reason to withdraw it; his
13356 quietness made her all the more sure she had given him great pain, and
13357 she wanted to show him how unwillingly she had given it. They walked
13358 together hand in hand in silence.
13359
13360 "Let us sit down in the hollow," said Philip, "where we stood the last
13361 time. See how the dog-roses have strewed the ground, and spread their
13362 opal petals over it."
13363
13364 They sat down at the roots of the slanting ash.
13365
13366 "I've begun my picture of you among the Scotch firs, Maggie," said
13367 Philip, "so you must let me study your face a little, while you
13368 stay,--since I am not to see it again. Please turn your head this
13369 way."
13370
13371 This was said in an entreating voice, and it would have been very hard
13372 of Maggie to refuse. The full, lustrous face, with the bright black
13373 coronet, looked down like that of a divinity well pleased to be
13374 worshipped, on the pale-hued, small-featured face that was turned up
13375 to it.
13376
13377 "I shall be sitting for my second portrait then," she said, smiling.
13378 "Will it be larger than the other?"
13379
13380 "Oh yes, much larger. It is an oil-painting. You will look like a tall
13381 Hamadryad, dark and strong and noble, just issued from one of the
13382 fir-trees, when the stems are casting their afternoon shadows on the
13383 grass."
13384
13385 "You seem to think more of painting than of anything now, Philip?"
13386
13387 "Perhaps I do," said Philip, rather sadly; "but I think of too many
13388 things,--sow all sorts of seeds, and get no great harvest from any one
13389 of them. I'm cursed with susceptibility in every direction, and
13390 effective faculty in none. I care for painting and music; I care for
13391 classic literature, and mediæval literature, and modern literature; I
13392 flutter all ways, and fly in none."
13393
13394 "But surely that is a happiness to have so many tastes,--to enjoy so
13395 many beautiful things, when they are within your reach," said Maggie,
13396 musingly. "It always seemed to me a sort of clever stupidity only to
13397 have one sort of talent,--almost like a carrier-pigeon."
13398
13399 "It might be a happiness to have many tastes if I were like other
13400 men," said Philip, bitterly. "I might get some power and distinction
13401 by mere mediocrity, as they do; at least I should get those middling
13402 satisfactions which make men contented to do without great ones. I
13403 might think society at St. Ogg's agreeable then. But nothing could
13404 make life worth the purchase-money of pain to me, but some faculty
13405 that would lift me above the dead level of provincial existence. Yes,
13406 there is one thing,--a passion answers as well as a faculty."
13407
13408 Maggie did not hear the last words; she was struggling against the
13409 consciousness that Philip's words had set her own discontent vibrating
13410 again as it used to do.
13411
13412 "I understand what you mean," she said, "though I know so much less
13413 than you do. I used to think I could never bear life if it kept on
13414 being the same every day, and I must always be doing things of no
13415 consequence, and never know anything greater. But, dear Philip, I
13416 think we are only like children that some one who is wiser is taking
13417 care of. Is it not right to resign ourselves entirely, whatever may be
13418 denied us? I have found great peace in that for the last two or three
13419 years, even joy in subduing my own will."
13420
13421 "Yes, Maggie," said Philip, vehemently; "and you are shutting yourself
13422 up in a narrow, self-delusive fanaticism, which is only a way of
13423 escaping pain by starving into dulness all the highest powers of your
13424 nature. Joy and peace are not resignation; resignation is the willing
13425 endurance of a pain that is not allayed, that you don't expect to be
13426 allayed. Stupefaction is not resignation; and it is stupefaction to
13427 remain in ignorance,--to shut up all the avenues by which the life of
13428 your fellow-men might become known to you. I am not resigned; I am not
13429 sure that life is long enough to learn that lesson. _You_ are not
13430 resigned; you are only trying to stupefy yourself."
13431
13432 Maggie's lips trembled; she felt there was some truth in what Philip
13433 said, and yet there was a deeper consciousness that, for any immediate
13434 application it had to her conduct, it was no better than falsity. Her
13435 double impression corresponded to the double impulse of the speaker.
13436 Philip seriously believed what he said, but he said it with vehemence
13437 because it made an argument against the resolution that opposed his
13438 wishes. But Maggie's face, made more childlike by the gathering tears,
13439 touched him with a tenderer, less egotistic feeling. He took her hand
13440 and said gently:
13441
13442 "Don't let us think of such things in this short half-hour, Maggie. Let
13443 us only care about being together. We shall be friends in spite of
13444 separation. We shall always think of each other. I shall be glad to
13445 live as long as you are alive, because I shall think there may always
13446 come a time when I can--when you will let me help you in some way."
13447
13448 "What a dear, good brother you would have been, Philip," said Maggie,
13449 smiling through the haze of tears. "I think you would have made as
13450 much fuss about me, and been as pleased for me to love you, as would
13451 have satisfied even me. You would have loved me well enough to bear
13452 with me, and forgive me everything. That was what I always longed that
13453 Tom should do. I was never satisfied with a _little_ of anything. That
13454 is why it is better for me to do without earthly happiness altogether.
13455 I never felt that I had enough music,--I wanted more instruments
13456 playing together; I wanted voices to be fuller and deeper. Do you ever
13457 sing now, Philip?" she added abruptly, as if she had forgotten what
13458 went before.
13459
13460 "Yes," he said, "every day, almost. But my voice is only middling,
13461 like everything else in me."
13462
13463 "Oh, sing me something,--just one song. I _may_ listen to that before
13464 I go,--something you used to sing at Lorton on a Saturday afternoon,
13465 when we had the drawing-room all to ourselves, and I put my apron over
13466 my head to listen."
13467
13468 "_I_ know," said Philip; and Maggie buried her face in her hands while
13469 he sang _sotto voce_, "Love in her eyes sits playing," and then said,
13470 "That's it, isn't it?"
13471
13472 "Oh no, I won't stay," said Maggie, starting up. "It will only haunt
13473 me. Let us walk, Philip. I must go home."
13474
13475 She moved away, so that he was obliged to rise and follow her.
13476
13477 "Maggie," he said, in a tone of remonstrance, "don't persist in this
13478 wilful, senseless privation. It makes me wretched to see you benumbing
13479 and cramping your nature in this way. You were so full of life when
13480 you were a child; I thought you would be a brilliant woman,--all wit
13481 and bright imagination. And it flashes out in your face still, until
13482 you draw that veil of dull quiescence over it."
13483
13484 "Why do you speak so bitterly to me, Philip?" said Maggie.
13485
13486 "Because I foresee it will not end well; you can never carry on this
13487 self-torture."
13488
13489 "I shall have strength given me," said Maggie, tremulously.
13490
13491 "No, you will not, Maggie; no one has strength given to do what is
13492 unnatural. It is mere cowardice to seek safety in negations. No
13493 character becomes strong in that way. You will be thrown into the
13494 world some day, and then every rational satisfaction of your nature
13495 that you deny now will assault you like a savage appetite."
13496
13497 Maggie started and paused, looking at Philip with alarm in her face.
13498
13499 "Philip, how dare you shake me in this way? You are a tempter."
13500
13501 "No, I am not; but love gives insight, Maggie, and insight often gives
13502 foreboding. _Listen_ to me,--let _me_ supply you with books; do let me
13503 see you sometimes,--be your brother and teacher, as you said at
13504 Lorton. It is less wrong that you should see me than that you should
13505 be committing this long suicide."
13506
13507 Maggie felt unable to speak. She shook her head and walked on in
13508 silence, till they came to the end of the Scotch firs, and she put out
13509 her hand in sign of parting.
13510
13511 "Do you banish me from this place forever, then, Maggie? Surely I may
13512 come and walk in it sometimes? If I meet you by chance, there is no
13513 concealment in that?"
13514
13515 It is the moment when our resolution seems about to become
13516 irrevocable--when the fatal iron gates are about to close upon
13517 us--that tests our strength. Then, after hours of clear reasoning and
13518 firm conviction, we snatch at any sophistry that will nullify our long
13519 struggles, and bring us the defeat that we love better than victory.
13520
13521 Maggie felt her heart leap at this subterfuge of Philip's, and there
13522 passed over her face that almost imperceptible shock which accompanies
13523 any relief. He saw it, and they parted in silence.
13524
13525 Philip's sense of the situation was too complete for him not to be
13526 visited with glancing fears lest he had been intervening too
13527 presumptuously in the action of Maggie's conscience, perhaps for a
13528 selfish end. But no!--he persuaded himself his end was not selfish. He
13529 had little hope that Maggie would ever return the strong feeling he
13530 had for her; and it must be better for Maggie's future life, when
13531 these petty family obstacles to her freedom had disappeared, that the
13532 present should not be entirely sacrificed, and that she should have
13533 some opportunity of culture,--some interchange with a mind above the
13534 vulgar level of those she was now condemned to live with. If we only
13535 look far enough off for the consequence of our actions, we can always
13536 find some point in the combination of results by which those actions
13537 can be justified; by adopting the point of view of a Providence who
13538 arranges results, or of a philosopher who traces them, we shall find
13539 it possible to obtain perfect complacency in choosing to do what is
13540 most agreeable to us in the present moment. And it was in this way
13541 that Philip justified his subtle efforts to overcome Maggie's true
13542 prompting against a concealment that would introduce doubleness into
13543 her own mind, and might cause new misery to those who had the primary
13544 natural claim on her. But there was a surplus of passion in him that
13545 made him half independent of justifying motives. His longing to see
13546 Maggie, and make an element in her life, had in it some of that savage
13547 impulse to snatch an offered joy which springs from a life in which
13548 the mental and bodily constitution have made pain predominate. He had
13549 not his full share in the common good of men; he could not even pass
13550 muster with the insignificant, but must be singled out for pity, and
13551 excepted from what was a matter of course with others. Even to Maggie
13552 he was an exception; it was clear that the thought of his being her
13553 lover had never entered her mind.
13554
13555 Do not think too hardly of Philip. Ugly and deformed people have great
13556 need of unusual virtues, because they are likely to be extremely
13557 uncomfortable without them; but the theory that unusual virtues spring
13558 by a direct consequence out of personal disadvantages, as animals get
13559 thicker wool in severe climates, is perhaps a little overstrained. The
13560 temptations of beauty are much dwelt upon, but I fancy they only bear
13561 the same relation to those of ugliness, as the temptation to excess at
13562 a feast, where the delights are varied for eye and ear as well as
13563 palate, bears to the temptations that assail the desperation of
13564 hunger. Does not the Hunger Tower stand as the type of the utmost
13565 trial to what is human in us?
13566
13567 Philip had never been soothed by that mother's love which flows out to
13568 us in the greater abundance because our need is greater, which clings
13569 to us the more tenderly because we are the less likely to be winners
13570 in the game of life; and the sense of his father's affection and
13571 indulgence toward him was marred by the keener perception of his
13572 father's faults. Kept aloof from all practical life as Philip had
13573 been, and by nature half feminine in sensitiveness, he had some of the
13574 woman's intolerant repulsion toward worldliness and the deliberate
13575 pursuit of sensual enjoyment; and this one strong natural tie in his
13576 life,--his relation as a son,--was like an aching limb to him. Perhaps
13577 there is inevitably something morbid in a human being who is in any
13578 way unfavorably excepted from ordinary conditions, until the good
13579 force has had time to triumph; and it has rarely had time for that at
13580 two-and-twenty. That force was present in Philip in much strength, but
13581 the sun himself looks feeble through the morning mists.
13582
13583
13584
13585 Chapter IV
13586
13587 Another Love-Scene
13588
13589
13590 Early in the following April, nearly a year after that dubious parting
13591 you have just witnessed, you may, if you like, again see Maggie
13592 entering the Red Deeps through the group of Scotch firs. But it is
13593 early afternoon and not evening, and the edge of sharpness in the
13594 spring air makes her draw her large shawl close about her and trip
13595 along rather quickly; though she looks round, as usual, that she may
13596 take in the sight of her beloved trees. There is a more eager,
13597 inquiring look in her eyes than there was last June, and a smile is
13598 hovering about her lips, as if some playful speech were awaiting the
13599 right hearer. The hearer was not long in appearing.
13600
13601 "Take back your _Corinne_," said Maggie, drawing a book from under her
13602 shawl. "You were right in telling me she would do me no good; but you
13603 were wrong in thinking I should wish to be like her."
13604
13605 "Wouldn't you really like to be a tenth Muse, then, Maggie?" said
13606 Philip looking up in her face as we look at a first parting in the
13607 clouds that promises us a bright heaven once more.
13608
13609 "Not at all," said Maggie, laughing. "The Muses were uncomfortable
13610 goddesses, I think,--obliged always to carry rolls and musical
13611 instruments about with them. If I carried a harp in this climate, you
13612 know, I must have a green baize cover for it; and I should be sure to
13613 leave it behind me by mistake."
13614
13615 "You agree with me in not liking Corinne, then?"
13616
13617 "I didn't finish the book," said Maggie. "As soon as I came to the
13618 blond-haired young lady reading in the park, I shut it up, and
13619 determined to read no further. I foresaw that that light-complexioned
13620 girl would win away all the love from Corinne and make her miserable.
13621 I'm determined to read no more books where the blond-haired women
13622 carry away all the happiness. I should begin to have a prejudice
13623 against them. If you could give me some story, now, where the dark
13624 woman triumphs, it would restore the balance. I want to avenge Rebecca
13625 and Flora MacIvor and Minna, and all the rest of the dark unhappy
13626 ones. Since you are my tutor, you ought to preserve my mind from
13627 prejudices; you are always arguing against prejudices."
13628
13629 "Well, perhaps you will avenge the dark women in your own person, and
13630 carry away all the love from your cousin Lucy. She is sure to have
13631 some handsome young man of St. Ogg's at her feet now; and you have
13632 only to shine upon him--your fair little cousin will be quite quenched
13633 in your beams."
13634
13635 "Philip, that is not pretty of you, to apply my nonsense to anything
13636 real," said Maggie, looking hurt. "As if I, with my old gowns and want
13637 of all accomplishments, could be a rival of dear little Lucy,--who
13638 knows and does all sorts of charming things, and is ten times prettier
13639 than I am,--even if I were odious and base enough to wish to be her
13640 rival. Besides, I never go to aunt Deane's when any one is there; it
13641 is only because dear Lucy is good, and loves me, that she comes to see
13642 me, and will have me go to see her sometimes."
13643
13644 "Maggie," said Philip, with surprise, "it is not like you to take
13645 playfulness literally. You must have been in St. Ogg's this morning,
13646 and brought away a slight infection of dulness."
13647
13648 "Well," said Maggie, smiling, "if you meant that for a joke, it was a
13649 poor one; but I thought it was a very good reproof. I thought you
13650 wanted to remind me that I am vain, and wish every one to admire me
13651 most. But it isn't for that that I'm jealous for the dark women,--not
13652 because I'm dark myself; it's because I always care the most about the
13653 unhappy people. If the blond girl were forsaken, I should like _her_
13654 best. I always take the side of the rejected lover in the stories."
13655
13656 "Then you would never have the heart to reject one yourself, should
13657 you, Maggie?" said Philip, flushing a little.
13658
13659 "I don't know," said Maggie, hesitatingly. Then with a bright smile,
13660 "I think perhaps I could if he were very conceited; and yet, if he got
13661 extremely humiliated afterward, I should relent."
13662
13663 "I've often wondered, Maggie," Philip said, with some effort, "whether
13664 you wouldn't really be more likely to love a man that other women were
13665 not likely to love."
13666
13667 "That would depend on what they didn't like him for," said Maggie,
13668 laughing. "He might be very disagreeable. He might look at me through
13669 an eye-glass stuck in his eye, making a hideous face, as young Torry
13670 does. I should think other women are not fond of that; but I never
13671 felt any pity for young Torry. I've never any pity for conceited
13672 people, because I think they carry their comfort about with them."
13673
13674 "But suppose, Maggie,--suppose it was a man who was not conceited, who
13675 felt he had nothing to be conceited about; who had been marked from
13676 childhood for a peculiar kind of suffering, and to whom you were the
13677 day-star of his life; who loved you, worshipped you, so entirely that
13678 he felt it happiness enough for him if you would let him see you at
13679 rare moments----"
13680
13681 Philip paused with a pang of dread lest his confession should cut
13682 short this very happiness,--a pang of the same dread that had kept his
13683 love mute through long months. A rush of self-consciousness told him
13684 that he was besotted to have said all this. Maggie's manner this
13685 morning had been as unconstrained and indifferent as ever.
13686
13687 But she was not looking indifferent now. Struck with the unusual
13688 emotion in Philip's tone, she had turned quickly to look at him; and
13689 as he went on speaking, a great change came over her face,--a flush
13690 and slight spasm of the features, such as we see in people who hear
13691 some news that will require them to readjust their conceptions of the
13692 past. She was quite silent, and walking on toward the trunk of a
13693 fallen tree, she sat down, as if she had no strength to spare for her
13694 muscles. She was trembling.
13695
13696 "Maggie," said Philip, getting more and more alarmed in every fresh
13697 moment of silence, "I was a fool to say it; forget that I've said it.
13698 I shall be contented if things can be as they were."
13699
13700 The distress with which he spoke urged Maggie to say something. "I am
13701 so surprised, Philip; I had not thought of it." And the effort to say
13702 this brought the tears down too.
13703
13704 "Has it made you hate me, Maggie?" said Philip, impetuously. "Do you
13705 think I'm a presumptuous fool?"
13706
13707 "Oh, Philip!" said Maggie, "how can you think I have such feelings? As
13708 if I were not grateful for _any_ love. But--but I had never thought of
13709 your being my lover. It seemed so far off--like a dream--only like one
13710 of the stories one imagines--that I should ever have a lover."
13711
13712 "Then can you bear to think of me as your lover, Maggie?" said Philip,
13713 seating himself by her, and taking her hand, in the elation of a
13714 sudden hope. "_Do_ you love me?"
13715
13716 Maggie turned rather pale; this direct question seemed not easy to
13717 answer. But her eyes met Philip's, which were in this moment liquid
13718 and beautiful with beseeching love. She spoke with hesitation, yet
13719 with sweet, simple, girlish tenderness.
13720
13721 "I think I could hardly love any one better; there is nothing but what
13722 I love you for." She paused a little while, and then added: "But it
13723 will be better for us not to say any more about it, won't it, dear
13724 Philip? You know we couldn't even be friends, if our friendship were
13725 discovered. I have never felt that I was right in giving way about
13726 seeing you, though it has been so precious to me in some ways; and now
13727 the fear comes upon me strongly again, that it will lead to evil."
13728
13729 "But no evil has come, Maggie; and if you had been guided by that fear
13730 before, you would only have lived through another dreary, benumbing
13731 year, instead of reviving into your real self."
13732
13733 Maggie shook her head. "It has been very sweet, I know,--all the
13734 talking together, and the books, and the feeling that I had the walk
13735 to look forward to, when I could tell you the thoughts that had come
13736 into my head while I was away from you. But it has made me restless;
13737 it has made me think a great deal about the world; and I have
13738 impatient thoughts again,--I get weary of my home; and then it cuts me
13739 to the heart afterward, that I should ever have felt weary of my
13740 father and mother. I think what you call being benumbed was
13741 better--better for me--for then my selfish desires were benumbed."
13742
13743 Philip had risen again, and was walking backward and forward
13744 impatiently.
13745
13746 "No, Maggie, you have wrong ideas of self-conquest, as I've often told
13747 you. What you call self-conquest--binding and deafening yourself to
13748 all but one train of impressions--is only the culture of monomania in
13749 a nature like yours."
13750
13751 He had spoken with some irritation, but now he sat down by her again
13752 and took her hand.
13753
13754 "Don't think of the past now, Maggie; think only of our love. If you
13755 can really cling to me with all your heart, every obstacle will be
13756 overcome in time; we need only wait. I can live on hope. Look at me,
13757 Maggie; tell me again it is possible for you to love me. Don't look
13758 away from me to that cloven tree; it is a bad omen."
13759
13760 She turned her large dark glance upon him with a sad smile.
13761
13762 "Come, Maggie, say one kind word, or else you were better to me at
13763 Lorton. You asked me if I should like you to kiss me,--don't you
13764 remember?--and you promised to kiss me when you met me again. You
13765 never kept the promise."
13766
13767 The recollection of that childish time came as a sweet relief to
13768 Maggie. It made the present moment less strange to her. She kissed him
13769 almost as simply and quietly as she had done when she was twelve years
13770 old. Philip's eyes flashed with delight, but his next words were words
13771 of discontent.
13772
13773 "You don't seem happy enough, Maggie; you are forcing yourself to say
13774 you love me, out of pity."
13775
13776 "No, Philip," said Maggie, shaking her head, in her old childish way;
13777 "I'm telling you the truth. It is all new and strange to me; but I
13778 don't think I could love any one better than I love you. I should like
13779 always to live with you--to make you happy. I have always been happy
13780 when I have been with you. There is only one thing I will not do for
13781 your sake; I will never do anything to wound my father. You must never
13782 ask that from me."
13783
13784 "No, Maggie, I will ask nothing; I will bear everything; I'll wait
13785 another year only for a kiss, if you will only give me the first place
13786 in your heart."
13787
13788 "No," said Maggie, smiling, "I won't make you wait so long as that."
13789 But then, looking serious again, she added, as she rose from her
13790 seat,--
13791
13792 "But what would your own father say, Philip? Oh, it is quite
13793 impossible we can ever be more than friends,--brother and sister in
13794 secret, as we have been. Let us give up thinking of everything else."
13795
13796 "No, Maggie, I can't give you up,--unless you are deceiving me; unless
13797 you really only care for me as if I were your brother. Tell me the
13798 truth."
13799
13800 "Indeed I do, Philip. What happiness have I ever had so great as being
13801 with you,--since I was a little girl,--the days Tom was good to me?
13802 And your mind is a sort of world to me; you can tell me all I want to
13803 know. I think I should never be tired of being with you."
13804
13805 They were walking hand in hand, looking at each other; Maggie, indeed,
13806 was hurrying along, for she felt it time to be gone. But the sense
13807 that their parting was near made her more anxious lest she should have
13808 unintentionally left some painful impression on Philip's mind. It was
13809 one of those dangerous moments when speech is at once sincere and
13810 deceptive; when feeling, rising high above its average depth, leaves
13811 floodmarks which are never reached again.
13812
13813 They stopped to part among the Scotch firs.
13814
13815 "Then my life will be filled with hope, Maggie, and I shall be happier
13816 than other men, in spite of all? We _do_ belong to each other--for
13817 always--whether we are apart or together?"
13818
13819 "Yes, Philip; I should like never to part; I should like to make your
13820 life very happy."
13821
13822 "I am waiting for something else. I wonder whether it will come."
13823
13824 Maggie smiled, with glistening tears, and then stooped her tall head
13825 to kiss the pale face that was full of pleading, timid love,--like a
13826 woman's.
13827
13828 She had a moment of real happiness then,--a moment of belief that, if
13829 there were sacrifice in this love, it was all the richer and more
13830 satisfying.
13831
13832 She turned away and hurried home, feeling that in the hour since she
13833 had trodden this road before, a new era had begun for her. The tissue
13834 of vague dreams must now get narrower and narrower, and all the
13835 threads of thought and emotion be gradually absorbed in the woof of
13836 her actual daily life.
13837
13838
13839
13840 Chapter V
13841
13842 The Cloven Tree
13843
13844
13845 Secrets are rarely betrayed or discovered according to any programme
13846 our fear has sketched out. Fear is almost always haunted by terrible
13847 dramatic scenes, which recur in spite of the best-argued probabilities
13848 against them; and during a year that Maggie had had the burthen of
13849 concealment on her mind, the possibility of discovery had continually
13850 presented itself under the form of a sudden meeting with her father or
13851 Tom when she was walking with Philip in the Red Deeps. She was aware
13852 that this was not one of the most likely events; but it was the scene
13853 that most completely symbolized her inward dread. Those slight
13854 indirect suggestions which are dependent on apparently trivial
13855 coincidences and incalculable states of mind, are the favorite
13856 machinery of Fact, but are not the stuff in which Imagination is apt
13857 to work.
13858
13859 Certainly one of the persons about whom Maggie's fears were furthest
13860 from troubling themselves was her aunt Pullet, on whom, seeing that
13861 she did not live in St. Ogg's, and was neither sharp-eyed nor
13862 sharp-tempered, it would surely have been quite whimsical of them to
13863 fix rather than on aunt Glegg. And yet the channel of fatality--the
13864 pathway of the lightning--was no other than aunt Pullet. She did not
13865 live at St. Ogg's, but the road from Garum Firs lay by the Red Deeps,
13866 at the end opposite that by which Maggie entered.
13867
13868 The day after Maggie's last meeting with Philip, being a Sunday on
13869 which Mr. Pullet was bound to appear in funeral hatband and scarf at
13870 St. Ogg's church, Mrs. Pullet made this the occasion of dining with
13871 sister Glegg, and taking tea with poor sister Tulliver. Sunday was the
13872 one day in the week on which Tom was at home in the afternoon; and
13873 today the brighter spirits he had been in of late had flowed over in
13874 unusually cheerful open chat with his father, and in the invitation,
13875 "Come, Magsie, you come too!" when he strolled out with his mother in
13876 the garden to see the advancing cherry-blossoms. He had been better
13877 pleased with Maggie since she had been less odd and ascetic; he was
13878 even getting rather proud of her; several persons had remarked in his
13879 hearing that his sister was a very fine girl. To-day there was a
13880 peculiar brightness in her face, due in reality to an undercurrent of
13881 excitement, which had as much doubt and pain as pleasure in it; but it
13882 might pass for a sign of happiness.
13883
13884 "You look very well, my dear," said aunt Pullet, shaking her head
13885 sadly, as they sat round the tea-table. "I niver thought your girl 'ud
13886 be so good-looking, Bessy. But you must wear pink, my dear; that blue
13887 thing as your aunt Glegg gave you turns you into a crowflower. Jane
13888 never _was_ tasty. Why don't you wear that gown o' mine?"
13889
13890 "It is so pretty and so smart, aunt. I think it's too showy for
13891 me,--at least for my other clothes, that I must wear with it.
13892
13893 "To be sure, it 'ud be unbecoming if it wasn't well known you've got
13894 them belonging to you as can afford to give you such things when
13895 they've done with 'em themselves. It stands to reason I must give my
13896 own niece clothes now and then,--such things as _I_ buy every year,
13897 and never wear anything out. And as for Lucy, there's no giving to
13898 her, for she's got everything o' the choicest; sister Deane may well
13899 hold her head up,--though she looks dreadful yallow, poor thing--I
13900 doubt this liver complaint 'ull carry her off. That's what this new
13901 vicar, this Dr. Kenn, said in the funeral sermon to-day."
13902
13903 "Ah, he's a wonderful preacher, by all account,--isn't he, Sophy?"
13904 said Mrs. Tulliver.
13905
13906 "Why, Lucy had got a collar on this blessed day," continued Mrs.
13907 Pullet, with her eyes fixed in a ruminating manner, "as I don't say I
13908 haven't got as good, but I must look out my best to match it."
13909
13910 "Miss Lucy's called the bell o' St. Ogg's, they say; that's a cur'ous
13911 word," observed Mr. Pullet, on whom the mysteries of etymology
13912 sometimes fell with an oppressive weight.
13913
13914 "Pooh!" said Mr. Tulliver, jealous for Maggie, "she's a small thing,
13915 not much of a figure. But fine feathers make fine birds. I see nothing
13916 to admire so much in those diminutive women; they look silly by the
13917 side o' the men,--out o' proportion. When I chose my wife, I chose her
13918 the right size,--neither too little nor too big."
13919
13920 The poor wife, with her withered beauty, smiled complacently.
13921
13922 "But the men aren't _all_ big," said uncle Pullet, not without some
13923 self-reference; "a young fellow may be good-looking and yet not be a
13924 six-foot, like Master Tom here.
13925
13926 "Ah, it's poor talking about littleness and bigness,--anybody may
13927 think it's a mercy they're straight," said aunt Pullet. "There's that
13928 mismade son o' Lawyer Wakem's, I saw him at church to-day. Dear, dear!
13929 to think o' the property he's like to have; and they say he's very
13930 queer and lonely, doesn't like much company. I shouldn't wonder if he
13931 goes out of his mind; for we never come along the road but he's
13932 a-scrambling out o' the trees and brambles at the Red Deeps."
13933
13934 This wide statement, by which Mrs. Pullet represented the fact that
13935 she had twice seen Philip at the spot indicated, produced an effect on
13936 Maggie which was all the stronger because Tom sate opposite her, and
13937 she was intensely anxious to look indifferent. At Philip's name she
13938 had blushed, and the blush deepened every instant from consciousness,
13939 until the mention of the Red Deeps made her feel as if the whole
13940 secret were betrayed, and she dared not even hold her tea-spoon lest
13941 she should show how she trembled. She sat with her hands clasped under
13942 the table, not daring to look round. Happily, her father was seated on
13943 the same side with herself, beyond her uncle Pullet, and could not see
13944 her face without stooping forward. Her mother's voice brought the
13945 first relief, turning the conversation; for Mrs. Tulliver was always
13946 alarmed when the name of Wakem was mentioned in her husband's
13947 presence. Gradually Maggie recovered composure enough to look up; her
13948 eyes met Tom's, but he turned away his head immediately; and she went
13949 to bed that night wondering if he had gathered any suspicion from her
13950 confusion. Perhaps not; perhaps he would think it was only her alarm
13951 at her aunt's mention of Wakem before her father; that was the
13952 interpretation her mother had put in it. To her father, Wakem was like
13953 a disfiguring disease, of which he was obliged to endure the
13954 consciousness, but was exasperated to have the existence recognized by
13955 others; and no amount of sensitiveness in her about her father could
13956 be surprising, Maggie thought.
13957
13958 But Tom was too keen-sighted to rest satisfied with such an
13959 interpretation; he had seen clearly enough that there was something
13960 distinct from anxiety about her father in Maggie's excessive
13961 confusion. In trying to recall all the details that could give shape
13962 to his suspicions, he remembered only lately hearing his mother scold
13963 Maggie for walking in the Red Deeps when the ground was wet, and
13964 bringing home shoes clogged with red soil; still Tom, retaining all
13965 his old repulsion for Philip's deformity, shrank from attributing to
13966 his sister the probability of feeling more than a friendly interest in
13967 such an unfortunate exception to the common run of men. Tom's was a
13968 nature which had a sort of superstitious repugnance to everything
13969 exceptional. A love for a deformed man would be odious in any woman,
13970 in a sister intolerable. But if she had been carrying on any kind of
13971 intercourse whatever with Philip, a stop must be put to it at once;
13972 she was disobeying her father's strongest feelings and her brother's
13973 express commands, besides compromising herself by secret meetings. He
13974 left home the next morning in that watchful state of mind which turns
13975 the most ordinary course of things into pregnant coincidences.
13976
13977 That afternoon, about half-past three o'clock, Tom was standing on the
13978 wharf, talking with Bob Jakin about the probability of the good ship
13979 Adelaide coming in, in a day or two, with results highly important to
13980 both of them.
13981
13982 "Eh," said Bob, parenthetically, as he looked over the fields on the
13983 other side of the river, "there goes that crooked young Wakem. I know
13984 him or his shadder as far off as I can see 'em; I'm allays lighting on
13985 him o' that side the river."
13986
13987 A sudden thought seemed to have darted through Tom's mind. "I must go,
13988 Bob," he said; "I've something to attend to," hurrying off to the
13989 warehouse, where he left notice for some one to take his place; he was
13990 called away home on peremptory business.
13991
13992 The swiftest pace and the shortest road took him to the gate, and he
13993 was pausing to open it deliberately, that he might walk into the house
13994 with an appearance of perfect composure, when Maggie came out at the
13995 front door in bonnet and shawl. His conjecture was fulfilled, and he
13996 waited for her at the gate. She started violently when she saw him.
13997
13998 "Tom, how is it you are come home? Is there anything the matter?"
13999 Maggie spoke in a low, tremulous voice.
14000
14001 "I'm come to walk with you to the Red Deeps, and meet Philip Wakem,"
14002 said Tom, the central fold in his brow, which had become habitual with
14003 him, deepening as he spoke.
14004
14005 Maggie stood helpless, pale and cold. By some means, then, Tom knew
14006 everything. At last she said, "I'm not going," and turned round.
14007
14008 "Yes, you are; but I want to speak to you first. Where is my father?"
14009
14010 "Out on horseback."
14011
14012 "And my mother?"
14013
14014 "In the yard, I think, with the poultry."
14015
14016 "I can go in, then, without her seeing me?"
14017
14018 They walked in together, and Tom, entering the parlor, said to Maggie,
14019 "Come in here."
14020
14021 She obeyed, and he closed the door behind her.
14022
14023 "Now, Maggie, tell me this instant everything that has passed between
14024 you and Philip Wakem."
14025
14026 "Does my father know anything?" said Maggie, still trembling.
14027
14028 "No," said Tom indignantly. "But he _shall_ know, if you attempt to
14029 use deceit toward me any further."
14030
14031 "I don't wish to use deceit," said Maggie, flushing into resentment at
14032 hearing this word applied to her conduct.
14033
14034 "Tell me the whole truth, then."
14035
14036 "Perhaps you know it."
14037
14038 "Never mind whether I know it or not. Tell me exactly what has
14039 happened, or my father shall know everything."
14040
14041 "I tell it for my father's sake, then."
14042
14043 "Yes, it becomes you to profess affection for your father, when you
14044 have despised his strongest feelings."
14045
14046 "You never do wrong, Tom," said Maggie, tauntingly.
14047
14048 "Not if I know it," answered Tom, with proud sincerity.
14049
14050 "But I have nothing to say to you beyond this: tell me what has passed
14051 between you and Philip Wakem. When did you first meet him in the Red
14052 Deeps?"
14053
14054 "A year ago," said Maggie, quietly. Tom's severity gave her a certain
14055 fund of defiance, and kept her sense of error in abeyance. "You need
14056 ask me no more questions. We have been friendly a year. We have met
14057 and walked together often. He has lent me books."
14058
14059 "Is that all?" said Tom, looking straight at her with his frown.
14060
14061 Maggie paused a moment; then, determined to make an end of Tom's right
14062 to accuse her of deceit, she said haughtily:
14063
14064 "No, not quite all. On Saturday he told me that he loved me. I didn't
14065 think of it before then; I had only thought of him as an old friend."
14066
14067 "And you _encouraged_ him?" said Tom, with an expression of disgust.
14068
14069 "I told him that I loved him too."
14070
14071 Tom was silent a few moments, looking on the ground and frowning, with
14072 his hands in his pockets. At last he looked up and said coldly,--
14073
14074 "Now, then, Maggie, there are but two courses for you to take,--either
14075 you vow solemnly to me, with your hand on my father's Bible, that you
14076 will never have another meeting or speak another word in private with
14077 Philip Wakem, or you refuse, and I tell my father everything; and this
14078 month, when by my exertions he might be made happy once more, you will
14079 cause him the blow of knowing that you are a disobedient, deceitful
14080 daughter, who throws away her own respectability by clandestine
14081 meetings with the son of a man that has helped to ruin her father.
14082 Choose!" Tom ended with cold decision, going up to the large Bible,
14083 drawing it forward, and opening it at the fly-leaf, where the writing
14084 was.
14085
14086 It was a crushing alternative to Maggie.
14087
14088 "Tom," she said, urged out of pride into pleading, "don't ask me that.
14089 I will promise you to give up all intercourse with Philip, if you will
14090 let me see him once, or even only write to him and explain
14091 everything,--to give it up as long as it would ever cause any pain to
14092 my father. I feel something for Philip too. _He_ is not happy."
14093
14094 "I don't wish to hear anything of your feelings; I have said exactly
14095 what I mean. Choose, and quickly, lest my mother should come in."
14096
14097 "If I give you my word, that will be as strong a bond to me as if I
14098 laid my hand on the Bible. I don't require that to bind me."
14099
14100 "Do what _I_ require," said Tom. "I can't trust you, Maggie. There is
14101 no consistency in you. Put your hand on this Bible, and say, 'I
14102 renounce all private speech and intercourse with Philip Wakem from
14103 this time forth.' Else you will bring shame on us all, and grief on my
14104 father; and what is the use of my exerting myself and giving up
14105 everything else for the sake of paying my father's debts, if you are
14106 to bring madness and vexation on him, just when he might be easy and
14107 hold up his head once more?"
14108
14109 "Oh, Tom, _will_ the debts be paid soon?" said Maggie, clasping her
14110 hands, with a sudden flash of joy across her wretchedness.
14111
14112 "If things turn out as I expect," said Tom. "But," he added, his voice
14113 trembling with indignation, "while I have been contriving and working
14114 that my father may have some peace of mind before he dies,--working
14115 for the respectability of our family,--you have done all you can to
14116 destroy both."
14117
14118 Maggie felt a deep movement of compunction; for the moment, her mind
14119 ceased to contend against what she felt to be cruel and unreasonable,
14120 and in her self-blame she justified her brother.
14121
14122 "Tom," she said in a low voice, "it was wrong of me; but I was so
14123 lonely, and I was sorry for Philip. And I think enmity and hatred are
14124 wicked."
14125
14126 "Nonsense!" said Tom. "Your duty was clear enough. Say no more; but
14127 promise, in the words I told you."
14128
14129 "I _must_ speak to Philip once more."
14130
14131 "You will go with me now and speak to him."
14132
14133 "I give you my word not to meet him or write to him again without your
14134 knowledge. That is the only thing I will say. I will put my hand on
14135 the Bible if you like."
14136
14137 "Say it, then."
14138
14139 Maggie laid her hand on the page of manuscript and repeated the
14140 promise. Tom closed the book, and said, "Now let us go."
14141
14142 Not a word was spoken as they walked along. Maggie was suffering in
14143 anticipation of what Philip was about to suffer, and dreading the
14144 galling words that would fall on him from Tom's lips; but she felt it
14145 was in vain to attempt anything but submission. Tom had his terrible
14146 clutch on her conscience and her deepest dread; she writhed under the
14147 demonstrable truth of the character he had given to her conduct, and
14148 yet her whole soul rebelled against it as unfair from its
14149 incompleteness. He, meanwhile, felt the impetus of his indignation
14150 diverted toward Philip. He did not know how much of an old boyish
14151 repulsion and of mere personal pride and animosity was concerned in
14152 the bitter severity of the words by which he meant to do the duty of a
14153 son and a brother. Tom was not given to inquire subtly into his own
14154 motives any more than into other matters of an intangible kind; he was
14155 quite sure that his own motives as well as actions were good, else he
14156 would have had nothing to do with them.
14157
14158 Maggie's only hope was that something might, for the first time, have
14159 prevented Philip from coming. Then there would be delay,--then she
14160 might get Tom's permission to write to him. Her heart beat with double
14161 violence when they got under the Scotch firs. It was the last moment
14162 of suspense, she thought; Philip always met her soon after she got
14163 beyond them. But they passed across the more open green space, and
14164 entered the narrow bushy path by the mound. Another turning, and they
14165 came so close upon him that both Tom and Philip stopped suddenly
14166 within a yard of each other. There was a moment's silence, in which
14167 Philip darted a look of inquiry at Maggie's face. He saw an answer
14168 there, in the pale, parted lips, and the terrified tension of the
14169 large eyes. Her imagination, always rushing extravagantly beyond an
14170 immediate impression, saw her tall, strong brother grasping the feeble
14171 Philip bodily, crushing him and trampling on him.
14172
14173 "Do you call this acting the part of a man and a gentleman, sir?" Tom
14174 said, in a voice of harsh scorn, as soon as Philip's eyes were turned
14175 on him again.
14176
14177 "What do you mean?" answered Philip, haughtily.
14178
14179 "Mean? Stand farther from me, lest I should lay hands on you, and I'll
14180 tell you what I mean. I mean, taking advantage of a young girl's
14181 foolishness and ignorance to get her to have secret meetings with you.
14182 I mean, daring to trifle with the respectability of a family that has
14183 a good and honest name to support."
14184
14185 "I deny that," interrupted Philip, impetuously. "I could never trifle
14186 with anything that affected your sister's happiness. She is dearer to
14187 me than she is to you; I honor her more than you can ever honor her; I
14188 would give up my life to her."
14189
14190 "Don't talk high-flown nonsense to me, sir! Do you mean to pretend
14191 that you didn't know it would be injurious to her to meet you here
14192 week after week? Do you pretend you had any right to make professions
14193 of love to her, even if you had been a fit husband for her, when
14194 neither her father nor your father would ever consent to a marriage
14195 between you? And _you_,--_you_ to try and worm yourself into the
14196 affections of a handsome girl who is not eighteen, and has been shut
14197 out from the world by her father's misfortunes! That's your crooked
14198 notion of honor, is it? I call it base treachery; I call it taking
14199 advantage of circumstances to win what's too good for you,--what you'd
14200 never get by fair means."
14201
14202 "It is manly of you to talk in this way to _me_," said Philip,
14203 bitterly, his whole frame shaken by violent emotions. "Giants have an
14204 immemorial right to stupidity and insolent abuse. You are incapable
14205 even of understanding what I feel for your sister. I feel so much for
14206 her that I could even desire to be at friendship with _you_."
14207
14208 "I should be very sorry to understand your feelings," said Tom, with
14209 scorching contempt. "What I wish is that you should understand
14210 _me_,--that I shall take care of _my_ sister, and that if you dare to
14211 make the least attempt to come near her, or to write to her, or to
14212 keep the slightest hold on her mind, your puny, miserable body, that
14213 ought to have put some modesty into your mind, shall not protect you.
14214 I'll thrash you; I'll hold you up to public scorn. Who wouldn't laugh
14215 at the idea of _your_ turning lover to a fine girl?"
14216
14217 Tom and Maggie walked on in silence for some yards. He burst out, in a
14218 convulsed voice.
14219
14220 "Stay, Maggie!" said Philip, making a strong effort to speak. Then
14221 looking at Tom, "You have dragged your sister here, I suppose, that
14222 she may stand by while you threaten and insult me. These naturally
14223 seemed to you the right means to influence me. But you are mistaken.
14224 Let your sister speak. If she says she is bound to give me up, I shall
14225 abide by her wishes to the slightest word."
14226
14227 "It was for my father's sake, Philip," said Maggie, imploringly. "Tom
14228 threatens to tell my father, and he couldn't bear it; I have promised,
14229 I have vowed solemnly, that we will not have any intercourse without
14230 my brother's knowledge."
14231
14232 "It is enough, Maggie. _I_ shall not change; but I wish you to hold
14233 yourself entirely free. But trust me; remember that I can never seek
14234 for anything but good to what belongs to you."
14235
14236 "Yes," said Tom, exasperated by this attitude of Philip's, "you can
14237 talk of seeking good for her and what belongs to her now; did you seek
14238 her good before?"
14239
14240 "I did,--at some risk, perhaps. But I wished her to have a friend for
14241 life,--who would cherish her, who would do her more justice than a
14242 coarse and narrow-minded brother, that she has always lavished her
14243 affections on."
14244
14245 "Yes, my way of befriending her is different from yours; and I'll tell
14246 you what is my way. I'll save her from disobeying and disgracing her
14247 father; I'll save her from throwing herself away on you,--from making
14248 herself a laughing-stock,--from being flouted by a man like _your_
14249 father, because she's not good enough for his son. You know well
14250 enough what sort of justice and cherishing you were preparing for her.
14251 I'm not to be imposed upon by fine words; I can see what actions mean.
14252 Come away, Maggie."
14253
14254 He seized Maggie's right wrist as he spoke, and she put out her left
14255 hand. Philip clasped it an instant, with one eager look, and then
14256 hurried away.
14257
14258 Tom and Maggie walked on in silence for some yards. He was still
14259 holding her wrist tightly, as if he were compelling a culprit from the
14260 scene of action. At last Maggie, with a violent snatch, drew her hand
14261 away, and her pent-up, long-gathered irritation burst into utterance.
14262
14263 "Don't suppose that I think you are right, Tom, or that I bow to your
14264 will. I despise the feelings you have shown in speaking to Philip; I
14265 detest your insulting, unmanly allusions to his deformity. You have
14266 been reproaching other people all your life; you have been always sure
14267 you yourself are right. It is because you have not a mind large enough
14268 to see that there is anything better than your own conduct and your
14269 own petty aims."
14270
14271 "Certainly," said Tom, coolly. "I don't see that your conduct is
14272 better, or your aims either. If your conduct, and Philip Wakem's
14273 conduct, has been right, why are you ashamed of its being known?
14274 Answer me that. I know what I have aimed at in my conduct, and I've
14275 succeeded; pray, what good has your conduct brought to you or any one
14276 else?"
14277
14278 "I don't want to defend myself," said Maggie, still with vehemence: "I
14279 know I've been wrong,--often, continually. But yet, sometimes when I
14280 have done wrong, it has been because I have feelings that you would be
14281 the better for, if you had them. If _you_ were in fault ever, if you
14282 had done anything very wrong, I should be sorry for the pain it
14283 brought you; I should not want punishment to be heaped on you. But you
14284 have always enjoyed punishing me; you have always been hard and cruel
14285 to me; even when I was a little girl, and always loved you better than
14286 any one else in the world, you would let me go crying to bed without
14287 forgiving me. You have no pity; you have no sense of your own
14288 imperfection and your own sins. It is a sin to be hard; it is not
14289 fitting for a mortal, for a Christian. You are nothing but a Pharisee.
14290 You thank God for nothing but your own virtues; you think they are
14291 great enough to win you everything else. You have not even a vision of
14292 feelings by the side of which your shining virtues are mere darkness!"
14293
14294 "Well," said Tom, with cold scorn, "if your feelings are so much
14295 better than mine, let me see you show them in some other way than by
14296 conduct that's likely to disgrace us all,--than by ridiculous flights
14297 first into one extreme and then into another. Pray, how have you shown
14298 your love, that you talk of, either to me or my father? By disobeying
14299 and deceiving us. I have a different way of showing my affection."
14300
14301 "Because you are a man, Tom, and have power, and can do something in
14302 the world."
14303
14304 "Then, if you can do nothing, submit to those that can."
14305
14306 "So I _will_ submit to what I acknowledge and feel to be right. I will
14307 submit even to what is unreasonable from my father, but I will not
14308 submit to it from you. You boast of your virtues as if they purchased
14309 you a right to be cruel and unmanly, as you've been to-day. Don't
14310 suppose I would give up Philip Wakem in obedience to you. The
14311 deformity you insult would make me cling to him and care for him the
14312 more."
14313
14314 "Very well; that is your view of things." said Tom, more coldly than
14315 ever; "you need say no more to show me what a wide distance there is
14316 between us. Let us remember that in future, and be silent."
14317
14318 Tom went back to St. Ogg's, to fulfill an appointment with his uncle
14319 Deane, and receive directions about a journey on which he was to set
14320 out the next morning.
14321
14322 Maggie went up to her own room to pour out all that indignant
14323 remonstrance, against which Tom's mind was close barred, in bitter
14324 tears. Then, when the first burst of unsatisfied anger was gone by,
14325 came the recollection of that quiet time before the pleasure which had
14326 ended in to-day's misery had perturbed the clearness and simplicity of
14327 her life. She used to think in that time that she had made great
14328 conquests, and won a lasting stand on serene heights above worldly
14329 temptations and conflict. And here she was down again in the thick of
14330 a hot strife with her own and others' passions. Life was not so short,
14331 then, and perfect rest was not so near as she had dreamed when she was
14332 two years younger. There was more struggle for her, and perhaps more
14333 falling. If she had felt that she was entirely wrong, and that Tom had
14334 been entirely right, she could sooner have recovered more inward
14335 harmony; but now her penitence and submission were constantly
14336 obstructed by resentment that would present itself to her no otherwise
14337 than as a just indignation. Her heart bled for Philip; she went on
14338 recalling the insults that had been flung at him with so vivid a
14339 conception of what he had felt under them, that it was almost like a
14340 sharp bodily pain to her, making her beat the floor with her foot and
14341 tighten her fingers on her palm.
14342
14343 And yet, how was it that she was now and then conscious of a certain
14344 dim background of relief in the forced separation from Philip? Surely
14345 it was only because the sense of a deliverance from concealment was
14346 welcome at any cost.
14347
14348
14349
14350 Chapter VI
14351
14352 The Hard-Won Triumph
14353
14354
14355 Three weeks later, when Dorlcote Mill was at its prettiest moment in
14356 all the year,--the great chestnuts in blossom, and the grass all deep
14357 and daisied,--Tom Tulliver came home to it earlier than usual in the
14358 evening, and as he passed over the bridge, he looked with the old
14359 deep-rooted affection at the respectable red brick house, which always
14360 seemed cheerful and inviting outside, let the rooms be as bare and the
14361 hearts as sad as they might inside. There is a very pleasant light in
14362 Tom's blue-gray eyes as he glances at the house-windows; that fold in
14363 his brow never disappears, but it is not unbecoming; it seems to imply
14364 a strength of will that may possibly be without harshness, when the
14365 eyes and mouth have their gentlest expression. His firm step becomes
14366 quicker, and the corners of his mouth rebel against the compression
14367 which is meant to forbid a smile.
14368
14369 The eyes in the parlor were not turned toward the bridge just then,
14370 and the group there was sitting in unexpectant silence,--Mr. Tulliver
14371 in his arm-chair, tired with a long ride, and ruminating with a worn
14372 look, fixed chiefly on Maggie, who was bending over her sewing while
14373 her mother was making the tea.
14374
14375 They all looked up with surprise when they heard the well-known foot.
14376
14377 "Why, what's up now, Tom?" said his father. "You're a bit earlier than
14378 usual."
14379
14380 "Oh, there was nothing more for me to do, so I came away. Well,
14381 mother!"
14382
14383 Tom went up to his mother and kissed her, a sign of unusual good-humor
14384 with him. Hardly a word or look had passed between him and Maggie in
14385 all the three weeks; but his usual incommunicativeness at home
14386 prevented this from being noticeable to their parents.
14387
14388 "Father," said Tom, when they had finished tea, "do you know exactly
14389 how much money there is in the tin box?"
14390
14391 "Only a hundred and ninety-three pound," said Mr. Tulliver. "You've
14392 brought less o' late; but young fellows like to have their own way
14393 with their money. Though I didn't do as I liked before _I_ was of
14394 age." He spoke with rather timid discontent.
14395
14396 "Are you quite sure that's the sum, father?" said Tom. "I wish you
14397 would take the trouble to fetch the tin box down. I think you have
14398 perhaps made a mistake."
14399
14400 "How should I make a mistake?" said his father, sharply. "I've counted
14401 it often enough; but I can fetch it, if you won't believe me."
14402
14403 It was always an incident Mr. Tulliver liked, in his gloomy life, to
14404 fetch the tin box and count the money.
14405
14406 "Don't go out of the room, mother," said Tom, as he saw her moving
14407 when his father was gone upstairs.
14408
14409 "And isn't Maggie to go?" said Mrs. Tulliver; "because somebody must
14410 take away the things."
14411
14412 "Just as she likes," said Tom indifferently.
14413
14414 That was a cutting word to Maggie. Her heart had leaped with the
14415 sudden conviction that Tom was going to tell their father the debts
14416 could be paid; and Tom would have let her be absent when that news was
14417 told! But she carried away the tray and came back immediately. The
14418 feeling of injury on her own behalf could not predominate at that
14419 moment.
14420
14421 Tom drew to the corner of the table near his father when the tin box
14422 was set down and opened, and the red evening light falling on them
14423 made conspicuous the worn, sour gloom of the dark-eyed father and the
14424 suppressed joy in the face of the fair-complexioned son. The mother
14425 and Maggie sat at the other end of the table, the one in blank
14426 patience, the other in palpitating expectation.
14427
14428 Mr. Tulliver counted out the money, setting it in order on the table,
14429 and then said, glancing sharply at Tom:
14430
14431 "There now! you see I was right enough."
14432
14433 He paused, looking at the money with bitter despondency.
14434
14435 "There's more nor three hundred wanting; it'll be a fine while before
14436 _I_ can save that. Losing that forty-two pound wi' the corn was a sore
14437 job. This world's been too many for me. It's took four year to lay
14438 _this_ by; it's much if I'm above ground for another four year. I must
14439 trusten to you to pay 'em," he went on, with a trembling voice, "if
14440 you keep i' the same mind now you're coming o' age. But you're like
14441 enough to bury me first."
14442
14443 He looked up in Tom's face with a querulous desire for some assurance.
14444
14445 "No, father," said Tom, speaking with energetic decision, though there
14446 was tremor discernible in his voice too, "you will live to see the
14447 debts all paid. You shall pay them with your own hand."
14448
14449 His tone implied something more than mere hopefulness or resolution. A
14450 slight electric shock seemed to pass through Mr. Tulliver, and he kept
14451 his eyes fixed on Tom with a look of eager inquiry, while Maggie,
14452 unable to restrain herself, rushed to her father's side and knelt down
14453 by him. Tom was silent a little while before he went on.
14454
14455 "A good while ago, my uncle Glegg lent me a little money to trade
14456 with, and that has answered. I have three hundred and twenty pounds in
14457 the bank."
14458
14459 His mother's arms were round his neck as soon as the last words were
14460 uttered, and she said, half crying:
14461
14462 "Oh, my boy, I knew you'd make iverything right again, when you got a
14463 man."
14464
14465 But his father was silent; the flood of emotion hemmed in all power of
14466 speech. Both Tom and Maggie were struck with fear lest the shock of
14467 joy might even be fatal. But the blessed relief of tears came. The
14468 broad chest heaved, the muscles of the face gave way, and the
14469 gray-haired man burst into loud sobs. The fit of weeping gradually
14470 subsided, and he sat quiet, recovering the regularity of his
14471 breathing. At last he looked up at his wife and said, in a gentle
14472 tone:
14473
14474 "Bessy, you must come and kiss me now--the lad has made you amends.
14475 You'll see a bit o' comfort again, belike."
14476
14477 When she had kissed him, and he had held her hand a minute, his
14478 thoughts went back to the money.
14479
14480 "I wish you'd brought me the money to look at, Tom," he said,
14481 fingering the sovereigns on the table; "I should ha' felt surer."
14482
14483 "You shall see it to-morrow, father," said Tom. "My uncle Deane has
14484 appointed the creditors to meet to-morrow at the Golden Lion, and he
14485 has ordered a dinner for them at two o'clock. My uncle Glegg and he
14486 will both be there. It was advertised in the 'Messenger' on Saturday."
14487
14488 "Then Wakem knows on't!" said Mr. Tulliver, his eye kindling with
14489 triumphant fire. "Ah!" he went on, with a long-drawn guttural
14490 enunciation, taking out his snuff-box, the only luxury he had left
14491 himself, and tapping it with something of his old air of defiance.
14492 "I'll get from under _his_ thumb now, though I _must_ leave the old
14493 mill. I thought I could ha' held out to die here--but I can't----we've
14494 got a glass o' nothing in the house, have we, Bessy?"
14495
14496 "Yes," said Mrs. Tulliver, drawing out her much-reduced bunch of keys,
14497 "there's some brandy sister Deane brought me when I was ill."
14498
14499 "Get it me, then; get it me. I feel a bit weak."
14500
14501 "Tom, my lad," he said, in a stronger voice, when he had taken some
14502 brandy-and-water, "you shall make a speech to 'em. I'll tell 'em it's
14503 you as got the best part o' the money. They'll see I'm honest at last,
14504 and ha' got an honest son. Ah! Wakem 'ud be fine and glad to have a
14505 son like mine,--a fine straight fellow,--i'stead o' that poor crooked
14506 creatur! You'll prosper i' the world, my lad; you'll maybe see the day
14507 when Wakem and his son 'ull be a round or two below you. You'll like
14508 enough be ta'en into partnership, as your uncle Deane was before
14509 you,--you're in the right way for't; and then there's nothing to
14510 hinder your getting rich. And if ever you're rich enough--mind
14511 this--try and get th' old mill again."
14512
14513 Mr. Tulliver threw himself back in his chair; his mind, which had so
14514 long been the home of nothing but bitter discontent and foreboding,
14515 suddenly filled, by the magic of joy, with visions of good fortune.
14516 But some subtle influence prevented him from foreseeing the good
14517 fortune as happening to himself.
14518
14519 "Shake hands wi' me, my lad," he said, suddenly putting out his hand.
14520 "It's a great thing when a man can be proud as he's got a good son.
14521 I've had _that_ luck."
14522
14523 Tom never lived to taste another moment so delicious as that; and
14524 Maggie couldn't help forgetting her own grievances. Tom _was_ good;
14525 and in the sweet humility that springs in us all in moments of true
14526 admiration and gratitude, she felt that the faults he had to pardon in
14527 her had never been redeemed, as his faults were. She felt no jealousy
14528 this evening that, for the first time, she seemed to be thrown into
14529 the background in her father's mind.
14530
14531 There was much more talk before bedtime. Mr. Tulliver naturally wanted
14532 to hear all the particulars of Tom's trading adventures, and he
14533 listened with growing excitement and delight. He was curious to know
14534 what had been said on every occasion; if possible, what had been
14535 thought; and Bob Jakin's part in the business threw him into peculiar
14536 outbursts of sympathy with the triumphant knowingness of that
14537 remarkable packman. Bob's juvenile history, so far as it had come
14538 under Mr. Tulliver's knowledge, was recalled with that sense of
14539 astonishing promise it displayed, which is observable in all
14540 reminiscences of the childhood of great men.
14541
14542 It was well that there was this interest of narrative to keep under
14543 the vague but fierce sense of triumph over Wakem, which would
14544 otherwise have been the channel his joy would have rushed into with
14545 dangerous force. Even as it was, that feeling from time to time gave
14546 threats of its ultimate mastery, in sudden bursts of irrelevant
14547 exclamation.
14548
14549 It was long before Mr. Tulliver got to sleep that night; and the
14550 sleep, when it came, was filled with vivid dreams. At half-past five
14551 o'clock in the morning, when Mrs. Tulliver was already rising, he
14552 alarmed her by starting up with a sort of smothered shout, and looking
14553 round in a bewildered way at the walls of the bedroom.
14554
14555 "What's the matter, Mr. Tulliver?" said his wife. He looked at her,
14556 still with a puzzled expression, and said at last:
14557
14558 "Ah!--I was dreaming--did I make a noise?--I thought I'd got hold of
14559 him."
14560
14561
14562
14563 Chapter VII
14564
14565 A Day of Reckoning
14566
14567
14568 Mr. Tulliver was an essentially sober man,--able to take his glass and
14569 not averse to it, but never exceeding the bounds of moderation. He had
14570 naturally an active Hotspur temperament, which did not crave liquid
14571 fire to set it aglow; his impetuosity was usually equal to an exciting
14572 occasion without any such reinforcements; and his desire for the
14573 brandy-and-water implied that the too sudden joy had fallen with a
14574 dangerous shock on a frame depressed by four years of gloom and
14575 unaccustomed hard fare. But that first doubtful tottering moment
14576 passed, he seemed to gather strength with his gathering excitement;
14577 and the next day, when he was seated at table with his creditors, his
14578 eye kindling and his cheek flushed with the consciousness that he was
14579 about to make an honorable figure once more, he looked more like the
14580 proud, confident, warm-hearted, and warm-tempered Tulliver of old
14581 times than might have seemed possible to any one who had met him a
14582 week before, riding along as had been his wont for the last four years
14583 since the sense of failure and debt had been upon him,--with his head
14584 hanging down, casting brief, unwilling looks on those who forced
14585 themselves on his notice. He made his speech, asserting his honest
14586 principles with his old confident eagerness, alluding to the rascals
14587 and the luck that had been against him, but that he had triumphed
14588 over, to some extent, by hard efforts and the aid of a good son; and
14589 winding up with the story of how Tom had got the best part of the
14590 needful money. But the streak of irritation and hostile triumph seemed
14591 to melt for a little while into purer fatherly pride and pleasure,
14592 when, Tom's health having been proposed, and uncle Deane having taken
14593 occasion to say a few words of eulogy on his general character and
14594 conduct, Tom himself got up and made the single speech of his life. It
14595 could hardly have been briefer. He thanked the gentlemen for the honor
14596 they had done him. He was glad that he had been able to help his
14597 father in proving his integrity and regaining his honest name; and,
14598 for his own part, he hoped he should never undo that work and disgrace
14599 that name. But the applause that followed was so great, and Tom looked
14600 so gentlemanly as well as tall and straight, that Mr. Tulliver
14601 remarked, in an explanatory manner, to his friends on his right and
14602 left, that he had spent a deal of money on his son's education.
14603
14604 The party broke up in very sober fashion at five o'clock. Tom remained
14605 in St. Ogg's to attend to some business, and Mr. Tulliver mounted his
14606 horse to go home, and describe the memorable things that had been said
14607 and done, to "poor Bessy and the little wench." The air of excitement
14608 that hung about him was but faintly due to good cheer or any stimulus
14609 but the potent wine of triumphant joy. He did not choose any back
14610 street to-day, but rode slowly, with uplifted head and free glances,
14611 along the principal street all the way to the bridge.
14612
14613 Why did he not happen to meet Wakem? The want of that coincidence
14614 vexed him, and set his mind at work in an irritating way. Perhaps
14615 Wakem was gone out of town to-day on purpose to avoid seeing or
14616 hearing anything of an honorable action which might well cause him
14617 some unpleasant twinges. If Wakem were to meet him then, Mr. Tulliver
14618 would look straight at him, and the rascal would perhaps be forsaken a
14619 little by his cool, domineering impudence. He would know by and by
14620 that an honest man was not going to serve _him_ any longer, and lend
14621 his honesty to fill a pocket already over-full of dishonest gains.
14622 Perhaps the luck was beginning to turn; perhaps the Devil didn't
14623 always hold the best cards in this world.
14624
14625 Simmering in this way, Mr. Tulliver approached the yardgates of
14626 Dorlcote Mill, near enough to see a well-known figure coming out of
14627 them on a fine black horse. They met about fifty yards from the gates,
14628 between the great chestnuts and elms and the high bank.
14629
14630 "Tulliver," said Wakem, abruptly, in a haughtier tone than usual,
14631 "what a fool's trick you did,--spreading those hard lumps on that Far
14632 Close! I told you how it would be; but you men never learn to farm
14633 with any method."
14634
14635 "Oh!" said Tulliver, suddenly boiling up; "get somebody else to farm
14636 for you, then, as'll ask _you_ to teach him."
14637
14638 "You have been drinking, I suppose," said Wakem, really believing that
14639 this was the meaning of Tulliver's flushed face and sparkling eyes.
14640
14641 "No, I've not been drinking," said Tulliver; "I want no drinking to
14642 help me make up my mind as I'll serve no longer under a scoundrel."
14643
14644 "Very well! you may leave my premises to-morrow, then; hold your
14645 insolent tongue and let me pass." (Tulliver was backing his horse
14646 across the road to hem Wakem in.)
14647
14648 "No, I _sha'n't_ let you pass," said Tulliver, getting fiercer. "I
14649 shall tell you what I think of you first. You're too big a raskill to
14650 get hanged--you're----"
14651
14652 "Let me pass, you ignorant brute, or I'll ride over you."
14653
14654 Mr. Tulliver, spurring his horse and raising his whip, made a rush
14655 forward; and Wakem's horse, rearing and staggering backward, threw his
14656 rider from the saddle and sent him sideways on the ground. Wakem had
14657 had the presence of mind to loose the bridle at once, and as the horse
14658 only staggered a few paces and then stood still, he might have risen
14659 and remounted without more inconvenience than a bruise and a shake.
14660 But before he could rise, Tulliver was off his horse too. The sight of
14661 the long-hated predominant man down, and in his power, threw him into
14662 a frenzy of triumphant vengeance, which seemed to give him
14663 preternatural agility and strength. He rushed on Wakem, who was in the
14664 act of trying to recover his feet, grasped him by the left arm so as
14665 to press Wakem's whole weight on the right arm, which rested on the
14666 ground, and flogged him fiercely across the back with his riding-whip.
14667 Wakem shouted for help, but no help came, until a woman's scream was
14668 heard, and the cry of "Father, father!"
14669
14670 Suddenly, Wakem felt, something had arrested Mr. Tulliver's arm; for
14671 the flogging ceased, and the grasp on his own arm was relaxed.
14672
14673 "Get away with you--go!" said Tulliver, angrily. But it was not to
14674 Wakem that he spoke. Slowly the lawyer rose, and, as he turned his
14675 head, saw that Tulliver's arms were being held by a girl, rather by
14676 the fear of hurting the girl that clung to him with all her young
14677 might.
14678
14679 "Oh, Luke--mother--come and help Mr. Wakem!" Maggie cried, as she
14680 heard the longed-for footsteps.
14681
14682 "Help me on to that low horse," said Wakem to Luke, "then I shall
14683 perhaps manage; though--confound it--I think this arm is sprained."
14684
14685 With some difficulty, Wakem was heaved on to Tulliver's horse. Then he
14686 turned toward the miller and said, with white rage, "You'll suffer for
14687 this, sir. Your daughter is a witness that you've assaulted me."
14688
14689 "I don't care," said Mr. Tulliver, in a thick, fierce voice; "go and
14690 show your back, and tell 'em I thrashed you. Tell 'em I've made things
14691 a bit more even i' the world."
14692
14693 "Ride my horse home with me," said Wakem to Luke. "By the Tofton
14694 Ferry, not through the town."
14695
14696 "Father, come in!" said Maggie, imploringly. Then, seeing that Wakem
14697 had ridden off, and that no further violence was possible, she
14698 slackened her hold and burst into hysteric sobs, while poor Mrs.
14699 Tulliver stood by in silence, quivering with fear. But Maggie became
14700 conscious that as she was slackening her hold her father was beginning
14701 to grasp her and lean on her. The surprise checked her sobs.
14702
14703 "I feel ill--faintish," he said. "Help me in, Bessy--I'm giddy--I've a
14704 pain i' the head."
14705
14706 He walked in slowly, propped by his wife and daughter and tottered
14707 into his arm-chair. The almost purple flush had given way to paleness,
14708 and his hand was cold.
14709
14710 "Hadn't we better send for the doctor?" said Mrs. Tulliver.
14711
14712 He seemed to be too faint and suffering to hear her; but presently,
14713 when she said to Maggie, "Go and seek for somebody to fetch the
14714 doctor," he looked up at her with full comprehension, and said,
14715 "Doctor? No--no doctor. It's my head, that's all. Help me to bed."
14716
14717 Sad ending to the day that had risen on them all like a beginning of
14718 better times! But mingled seed must bear a mingled crop.
14719
14720 In half an hour after his father had lain down Tom came home. Bob
14721 Jakin was with him, come to congratulate "the old master," not without
14722 some excusable pride that he had had his share in bringing about Mr.
14723 Tom's good luck; and Tom had thought his father would like nothing
14724 better, as a finish to the day, than a talk with Bob. But now Tom
14725 could only spend the evening in gloomy expectation of the unpleasant
14726 consequences that must follow on this mad outbreak of his father's
14727 long-smothered hate. After the painful news had been told, he sat in
14728 silence; he had not spirit or inclination to tell his mother and
14729 sister anything about the dinner; they hardly cared to ask it.
14730 Apparently the mingled thread in the web of their life was so
14731 curiously twisted together that there could be no joy without a sorrow
14732 coming close upon it. Tom was dejected by the thought that his
14733 exemplary effort must always be baffled by the wrong-doing of others;
14734 Maggie was living through, over and over again, the agony of the
14735 moment in which she had rushed to throw herself on her father's arm,
14736 with a vague, shuddering foreboding of wretched scenes to come. Not
14737 one of the three felt any particular alarm about Mr. Tulliver's
14738 health; the symptoms did not recall his former dangerous attack, and
14739 it seemed only a necessary consequence that his violent passion and
14740 effort of strength, after many hours of unusual excitement, should
14741 have made him feel ill. Rest would probably cure him.
14742
14743 Tom, tired out by his active day, fell asleep soon, and slept soundly;
14744 it seemed to him as if he had only just come to bed, when he waked to
14745 see his mother standing by him in the gray light of early morning.
14746
14747 "My boy, you must get up this minute; I've sent for the doctor, and
14748 your father wants you and Maggie to come to him."
14749
14750 "Is he worse, mother?"
14751
14752 "He's been very ill all night with his head, but he doesn't say it's
14753 worse; he only said suddenly, 'Bessy, fetch the boy and girl. Tell 'em
14754 to make haste.'"
14755
14756 Maggie and Tom threw on their clothes hastily in the chill gray light,
14757 and reached their father's room almost at the same moment. He was
14758 watching for them with an expression of pain on his brow, but with
14759 sharpened, anxious consciousness in his eyes. Mrs. Tulliver stood at
14760 the foot of the bed, frightened and trembling, looking worn and aged
14761 from disturbed rest. Maggie was at the bedside first, but her father's
14762 glance was toward Tom, who came and stood next to her.
14763
14764 "Tom, my lad, it's come upon me as I sha'n't get up again. This
14765 world's been too many for me, my lad, but you've done what you could
14766 to make things a bit even. Shake hands wi' me again, my lad, before I
14767 go away from you."
14768
14769 The father and son clasped hands and looked at each other an instant.
14770 Then Tom said, trying to speak firmly,--
14771
14772 "Have you any wish, father--that I can fulfil, when----"
14773
14774 "Ay, my lad--you'll try and get the old mill back."
14775
14776 "Yes, father."
14777
14778 "And there's your mother--you'll try and make her amends, all you can,
14779 for my bad luck--and there's the little wench----"
14780
14781 The father turned his eyes on Maggie with a still more eager look,
14782 while she, with a bursting heart, sank on her knees, to be closer to
14783 the dear, time-worn face which had been present with her through long
14784 years, as the sign of her deepest love and hardest trial.
14785
14786 "You must take care of her, Tom--don't you fret, my wench--there'll
14787 come somebody as'll love you and take your part--and you must be good
14788 to her, my lad. I was good to _my_ sister. Kiss me, Maggie.--Come,
14789 Bessy.--You'll manage to pay for a brick grave, Tom, so as your mother
14790 and me can lie together."
14791
14792 He looked away from them all when he had said this, and lay silent for
14793 some minutes, while they stood watching him, not daring to move. The
14794 morning light was growing clearer for them, and they could see the
14795 heaviness gathering in his face, and the dulness in his eyes. But at
14796 last he looked toward Tom and said,--
14797
14798 "I had my turn--I beat him. That was nothing but fair. I never wanted
14799 anything but what was fair."
14800
14801 "But, father, dear father," said Maggie, an unspeakable anxiety
14802 predominating over her grief, "you forgive him--you forgive every one
14803 now?"
14804
14805 He did not move his eyes to look at her, but he said,--
14806
14807 "No, my wench. I don't forgive him. What's forgiving to do? I can't
14808 love a raskill----"
14809
14810 His voice had become thicker; but he wanted to say more, and moved his
14811 lips again and again, struggling in vain to speak. At length the words
14812 forced their way.
14813
14814 "Does God forgive raskills?--but if He does, He won't be hard wi' me."
14815
14816 His hands moved uneasily, as if he wanted them to remove some
14817 obstruction that weighed upon him. Two or three times there fell from
14818 him some broken words,--
14819
14820 "This world's--too many--honest man--puzzling----"
14821
14822 Soon they merged into mere mutterings; the eyes had ceased to discern;
14823 and then came the final silence.
14824
14825 But not of death. For an hour or more the chest heaved, the loud, hard
14826 breathing continued, getting gradually slower, as the cold dews
14827 gathered on the brow.
14828
14829 At last there was total stillness, and poor Tulliver's dimly lighted
14830 soul had forever ceased to be vexed with the painful riddle of this
14831 world.
14832
14833 Help was come now; Luke and his wife were there, and Mr. Turnbull had
14834 arrived, too late for everything but to say, "This is death."
14835
14836 Tom and Maggie went downstairs together into the room where their
14837 father's place was empty. Their eyes turned to the same spot, and
14838 Maggie spoke,--
14839
14840 "Tom, forgive me--let us always love each other"; and they clung and
14841 wept together.
14842
14843
14844
14845
14846 Book VI
14847
14848 _The Great Temptation_
14849
14850
14851
14852 Chapter I
14853
14854 A Duet in Paradise
14855
14856
14857 The well-furnished drawing-room, with the open grand piano, and the
14858 pleasant outlook down a sloping garden to a boat-house by the side of
14859 the Floss, is Mr. Deane's. The neat little lady in mourning, whose
14860 light-brown ringlets are falling over the colored embroidery with
14861 which her fingers are busy, is of course Lucy Deane; and the fine
14862 young man who is leaning down from his chair to snap the scissors in
14863 the extremely abbreviated face of the "King Charles" lying on the
14864 young lady's feet is no other than Mr. Stephen Guest, whose diamond
14865 ring, attar of roses, and air of _nonchalant_ leisure, at twelve
14866 o'clock in the day, are the graceful and odoriferous result of the
14867 largest oil-mill and the most extensive wharf in St. Ogg's. There is
14868 an apparent triviality in the action with the scissors, but your
14869 discernment perceives at once that there is a design in it which makes
14870 it eminently worthy of a large-headed, long-limbed young man; for you
14871 see that Lucy wants the scissors, and is compelled, reluctant as she
14872 may be, to shake her ringlets back, raise her soft hazel eyes, smile
14873 playfully down on the face that is so very nearly on a level with her
14874 knee, and holding out her little shell-pink palm, to say,--
14875
14876 "My scissors, please, if you can renounce the great pleasure of
14877 persecuting my poor Minny."
14878
14879 The foolish scissors have slipped too far over the knuckles, it seems,
14880 and Hercules holds out his entrapped fingers hopelessly.
14881
14882 "Confound the scissors! The oval lies the wrong way. Please draw them
14883 off for me."
14884
14885 "Draw them off with your other hand," says Miss Lucy, roguishly.
14886
14887 "Oh, but that's my left hand; I'm not left-handed."
14888
14889 Lucy laughs, and the scissors are drawn off with gentle touches from
14890 tiny tips, which naturally dispose Mr. Stephen for a repetition _da
14891 capo_. Accordingly, he watches for the release of the scissors, that
14892 he may get them into his possession again.
14893
14894 "No, no," said Lucy, sticking them in her band, "you shall not have my
14895 scissors again,--you have strained them already. Now don't set Minny
14896 growling again. Sit up and behave properly, and then I will tell you
14897 some news."
14898
14899 "What is that?" said Stephen, throwing himself back and hanging his
14900 right arm over the corner of his chair. He might have been sitting for
14901 his portrait, which would have represented a rather striking young man
14902 of five-and-twenty, with a square forehead, short dark-brown hair,
14903 standing erect, with a slight wave at the end, like a thick crop of
14904 corn, and a half-ardent, half-sarcastic glance from under his
14905 well-marked horizontal eyebrows. "Is it very important news?"
14906
14907 "Yes, very. Guess."
14908
14909 "You are going to change Minny's diet, and give him three ratafias
14910 soaked in a dessert-spoonful of cream daily?"
14911
14912 "Quite wrong."
14913
14914 "Well, then, Dr. Kenn has been preaching against buckram, and you
14915 ladies have all been sending him a roundrobin, saying, 'This is a hard
14916 doctrine; who can bear it?'"
14917
14918 "For shame!" said Lucy, adjusting her little mouth gravely. "It is
14919 rather dull of you not to guess my news, because it is about something
14920 I mentioned to you not very long ago."
14921
14922 "But you have mentioned many things to me not long ago. Does your
14923 feminine tyranny require that when you say the thing you mean is one
14924 of several things, I should know it immediately by that mark?"
14925
14926 "Yes, I know you think I am silly."
14927
14928 "I think you are perfectly charming."
14929
14930 "And my silliness is part of my charm?"
14931
14932 "I didn't say _that_."
14933
14934 "But I know you like women to be rather insipid. Philip Wakem betrayed
14935 you; he said so one day when you were not here."
14936
14937 "Oh, I know Phil is fierce on that point; he makes it quite a personal
14938 matter. I think he must be love-sick for some unknown lady,--some
14939 exalted Beatrice whom he met abroad."
14940
14941 "By the by," said Lucy, pausing in her work, "it has just occurred to
14942 me that I never found out whether my cousin Maggie will object to see
14943 Philip, as her brother does. Tom will not enter a room where Philip
14944 is, if he knows it; perhaps Maggie may be the same, and then we
14945 sha'n't be able to sing our glees, shall we?"
14946
14947 "What! is your cousin coming to stay with you?" said Stephen, with a
14948 look of slight annoyance.
14949
14950 "Yes; that was my news, which you have forgotten. She's going to leave
14951 her situation, where she has been nearly two years, poor thing,--ever
14952 since her father's death; and she will stay with me a month or
14953 two,--many months, I hope."
14954
14955 "And am I bound to be pleased at that news?"
14956
14957 "Oh no, not at all," said Lucy, with a little air of pique. "_I_ am
14958 pleased, but that, of course, is no reason why _you_ should be
14959 pleased. There is no girl in the world I love so well as my cousin
14960 Maggie."
14961
14962 "And you will be inseparable I suppose, when she comes. There will be
14963 no possibility of a _tête-à-tête_ with you any more, unless you can
14964 find an admirer for her, who will pair off with her occasionally. What
14965 is the ground of dislike to Philip? He might have been a resource."
14966
14967 "It is a family quarrel with Philip's father. There were very painful
14968 circumstances, I believe. I never quite understood them, or knew them
14969 all. My uncle Tulliver was unfortunate and lost all his property, and
14970 I think he considered Mr. Wakem was somehow the cause of it. Mr. Wakem
14971 bought Dorlcote Mill, my uncle's old place, where he always lived. You
14972 must remember my uncle Tulliver, don't you?"
14973
14974 "No," said Stephen, with rather supercilious indifference. "I've
14975 always known the name, and I dare say I knew the man by sight, apart
14976 from his name. I know half the names and faces in the neighborhood in
14977 that detached, disjointed way."
14978
14979 "He was a very hot-tempered man. I remember, when I was a little girl
14980 and used to go to see my cousins, he often frightened me by talking as
14981 if he were angry. Papa told me there was a dreadful quarrel, the very
14982 day before my uncle's death, between him and Mr. Wakem, but it was
14983 hushed up. That was when you were in London. Papa says my uncle was
14984 quite mistaken in many ways; his mind had become embittered. But Tom
14985 and Maggie must naturally feel it very painful to be reminded of these
14986 things. They have had so much, so very much trouble. Maggie was at
14987 school with me six years ago, when she was fetched away because of her
14988 father's misfortunes, and she has hardly had any pleasure since, I
14989 think. She has been in a dreary situation in a school since uncle's
14990 death, because she is determined to be independent, and not live with
14991 aunt Pullet; and I could hardly wish her to come to me then, because
14992 dear mamma was ill, and everything was so sad. That is why I want her
14993 to come to me now, and have a long, long holiday."
14994
14995 "Very sweet and angelic of you," said Stephen, looking at her with an
14996 admiring smile; "and all the more so if she has the conversational
14997 qualities of her mother."
14998
14999 "Poor aunty! You are cruel to ridicule her. She is very valuable to
15000 _me_, I know. She manages the house beautifully,--much better than any
15001 stranger would,--and she was a great comfort to me in mamma's
15002 illness."
15003
15004 "Yes, but in point of companionship one would prefer that she should
15005 be represented by her brandy-cherries and cream-cakes. I think with a
15006 shudder that her daughter will always be present in person, and have
15007 no agreeable proxies of that kind,--a fat, blond girl, with round blue
15008 eyes, who will stare at us silently."
15009
15010 "Oh yes!" exclaimed Lucy, laughing wickedly, and clapping her hands,
15011 "that is just my cousin Maggie. You must have seen her!"
15012
15013 "No, indeed; I'm only guessing what Mrs. Tulliver's daughter must be;
15014 and then if she is to banish Philip, our only apology for a tenor,
15015 that will be an additional bore."
15016
15017 "But I hope that may not be. I think I will ask you to call on Philip
15018 and tell him Maggie is coming to-morrow. He is quite aware of Tom's
15019 feeling, and always keeps out of his way; so he will understand, if
15020 you tell him, that I asked you to warn him not to come until I write
15021 to ask him."
15022
15023 "I think you had better write a pretty note for me to take; Phil is so
15024 sensitive, you know, the least thing might frighten him off coming at
15025 all, and we had hard work to get him. I can never induce him to come
15026 to the park; he doesn't like my sisters, I think. It is only your
15027 faëry touch that can lay his ruffled feathers."
15028
15029 Stephen mastered the little hand that was straying toward the table,
15030 and touched it lightly with his lips. Little Lucy felt very proud and
15031 happy. She and Stephen were in that stage of courtship which makes the
15032 most exquisite moment of youth, the freshest blossom-time of
15033 passion,--when each is sure of the other's love, but no formal
15034 declaration has been made, and all is mutual divination, exalting the
15035 most trivial word, the lightest gesture, into thrills delicate and
15036 delicious as wafted jasmine scent. The explicitness of an engagement
15037 wears off this finest edge of susceptibility; it is jasmine gathered
15038 and presented in a large bouquet.
15039
15040 "But it is really odd that you should have hit so exactly on Maggie's
15041 appearance and manners," said the cunning Lucy, moving to reach her
15042 desk, "because she might have been like her brother, you know; and Tom
15043 has not round eyes; and he is as far as possible from staring at
15044 people."
15045
15046 "Oh, I suppose he is like the father; he seems to be as proud as
15047 Lucifer. Not a brilliant companion, though, I should think."
15048
15049 "I like Tom. He gave me my Minny when I lost Lolo; and papa is very
15050 fond of him: he says Tom has excellent principles. It was through him
15051 that his father was able to pay all his debts before he died."
15052
15053 "Oh, ah; I've heard about that. I heard your father and mine talking
15054 about it a little while ago, after dinner, in one of their
15055 interminable discussions about business. They think of doing something
15056 for young Tulliver; he saved them from a considerable loss by riding
15057 home in some marvellous way, like Turpin, to bring them news about the
15058 stoppage of a bank, or something of that sort. But I was rather drowsy
15059 at the time."
15060
15061 Stephen rose from his seat, and sauntered to the piano, humming in
15062 falsetto, "Graceful Consort," as he turned over the volume of "The
15063 Creation," which stood open on the desk.
15064
15065 "Come and sing this," he said, when he saw Lucy rising.
15066
15067 "What, 'Graceful Consort'? I don't think it suits your voice."
15068
15069 "Never mind; it exactly suits my feeling, which, Philip will have it,
15070 is the grand element of good singing. I notice men with indifferent
15071 voices are usually of that opinion."
15072
15073 "Philip burst into one of his invectives against 'The Creation' the
15074 other day," said Lucy, seating herself at the piano. "He says it has a
15075 sort of sugared complacency and flattering make-believe in it, as if
15076 it were written for the birthday _fête_ of a German Grand-Duke."
15077
15078 "Oh, pooh! He is the fallen Adam with a soured temper. We are Adam and
15079 Eve unfallen, in Paradise. Now, then,--the recitative, for the sake of
15080 the moral. You will sing the whole duty of woman,--'And from obedience
15081 grows my pride and happiness.'"
15082
15083 "Oh no, I shall not respect an Adam who drags the _tempo_, as you
15084 will," said Lucy, beginning to play the duet.
15085
15086 Surely the only courtship unshaken by doubts and fears must be that in
15087 which the lovers can sing together. The sense of mutual fitness that
15088 springs from the two deep notes fulfilling expectation just at the
15089 right moment between the notes of the silvery soprano, from the
15090 perfect accord of descending thirds and fifths, from the preconcerted
15091 loving chase of a fugue, is likely enough to supersede any immediate
15092 demand for less impassioned forms of agreement. The contralto will not
15093 care to catechise the bass; the tenor will foresee no embarrassing
15094 dearth of remark in evenings spent with the lovely soprano. In the
15095 provinces, too, where music was so scarce in that remote time, how
15096 could the musical people avoid falling in love with each other? Even
15097 political principle must have been in danger of relaxation under such
15098 circumstances; and the violin, faithful to rotten boroughs, must have
15099 been tempted to fraternize in a demoralizing way with a reforming
15100 violoncello. In that case, the linnet-throated soprano and the
15101 full-toned bass singing,--
15102
15103 "With thee delight is ever new,
15104 With thee is life incessant bliss,"
15105
15106 believed what they sang all the more _because_ they sang it.
15107
15108 "Now for Raphael's great song," said Lucy, when they had finished the
15109 duet. "You do the 'heavy beasts' to perfection."
15110
15111 "That sounds complimentary," said Stephen, looking at his watch. "By
15112 Jove, it's nearly half-past one! Well, I can just sing this."
15113
15114 Stephen delivered with admirable ease the deep notes representing the
15115 tread of the heavy beasts; but when a singer has an audience of two,
15116 there is room for divided sentiments. Minny's mistress was charmed;
15117 but Minny, who had intrenched himself, trembling, in his basket as
15118 soon as the music began, found this thunder so little to his taste
15119 that he leaped out and scampered under the remotest _chiffonnier_, as
15120 the most eligible place in which a small dog could await the crack of
15121 doom.
15122
15123 "Adieu, 'graceful consort,'" said Stephen, buttoning his coat across
15124 when he had done singing, and smiling down from his tall height, with
15125 the air of rather a patronizing lover, at the little lady on the
15126 music-stool. "My bliss is not incessant, for I must gallop home. I
15127 promised to be there at lunch."
15128
15129 "You will not be able to call on Philip, then? It is of no
15130 consequence; I have said everything in my note."
15131
15132 "You will be engaged with your cousin to-morrow, I suppose?"
15133
15134 "Yes, we are going to have a little family-party. My cousin Tom will
15135 dine with us; and poor aunty will have her two children together for
15136 the first time. It will be very pretty; I think a great deal about
15137 it."
15138
15139 "But I may come the next day?"
15140
15141 "Oh yes! Come and be introduced to my cousin Maggie; though you can
15142 hardly be said not to have seen her, you have described her so well."
15143
15144 "Good-bye, then." And there was that slight pressure of the hands, and
15145 momentary meeting of the eyes, which will often leave a little lady
15146 with a slight flush and smile on her face that do not subside
15147 immediately when the door is closed, and with an inclination to walk
15148 up and down the room rather than to seat herself quietly at her
15149 embroidery, or other rational and improving occupation. At least this
15150 was the effect on Lucy; and you will not, I hope, consider it an
15151 indication of vanity predominating over more tender impulses, that she
15152 just glanced in the chimney-glass as her walk brought her near it. The
15153 desire to know that one has not looked an absolute fright during a few
15154 hours of conversation may be construed as lying within the bounds of a
15155 laudable benevolent consideration for others. And Lucy had so much of
15156 this benevolence in her nature that I am inclined to think her small
15157 egoisms were impregnated with it, just as there are people not
15158 altogether unknown to you whose small benevolences have a predominant
15159 and somewhat rank odor of egoism. Even now, that she is walking up and
15160 down with a little triumphant flutter of her girlish heart at the
15161 sense that she is loved by the person of chief consequence in her
15162 small world, you may see in her hazel eyes an ever-present sunny
15163 benignity, in which the momentary harmless flashes of personal vanity
15164 are quite lost; and if she is happy in thinking of her lover, it is
15165 because the thought of him mingles readily with all the gentle
15166 affections and good-natured offices with which she fills her peaceful
15167 days. Even now, her mind, with that instantaneous alternation which
15168 makes two currents of feeling or imagination seem simultaneous, is
15169 glancing continually from Stephen to the preparations she has only
15170 half finished in Maggie's room. Cousin Maggie should be treated as
15171 well as the grandest lady-visitor,--nay, better, for she should have
15172 Lucy's best prints and drawings in her bedroom, and the very finest
15173 bouquet of spring flowers on her table. Maggie would enjoy all that,
15174 she was so found of pretty things! And there was poor aunt Tulliver,
15175 that no one made any account of, she was to be surprised with the
15176 present of a cap of superlative quality, and to have her health drunk
15177 in a gratifying manner, for which Lucy was going to lay a plot with
15178 her father this evening. Clearly, she had not time to indulge in long
15179 reveries about her own happy love-affairs. With this thought she
15180 walked toward the door, but paused there.
15181
15182 "What's the matter, then, Minny?" she said, stooping in answer to some
15183 whimpering of that small quadruped, and lifting his glossy head
15184 against her pink cheek. "Did you think I was going without you? Come,
15185 then, let us go and see Sinbad."
15186
15187 Sinbad was Lucy's chestnut horse, that she always fed with her own
15188 hand when he was turned out in the paddock. She was fond of feeding
15189 dependent creatures, and knew the private tastes of all the animals
15190 about the house, delighting in the little rippling sounds of her
15191 canaries when their beaks were busy with fresh seed, and in the small
15192 nibbling pleasures of certain animals which, lest she should appear
15193 too trivial, I will here call "the more familiar rodents."
15194
15195 Was not Stephen Guest right in his decided opinion that this slim
15196 maiden of eighteen was quite the sort of wife a man would not be
15197 likely to repent of marrying,--a woman who was loving and thoughtful
15198 for other women, not giving them Judas-kisses with eyes askance on
15199 their welcome defects, but with real care and vision for their
15200 half-hidden pains and mortifications, with long ruminating enjoyment
15201 of little pleasures prepared for them? Perhaps the emphasis of his
15202 admiration did not fall precisely on this rarest quality in her;
15203 perhaps he approved his own choice of her chiefly because she did not
15204 strike him as a remarkable rarity. A man likes his wife to be pretty;
15205 well, Lucy was pretty, but not to a maddening extent. A man likes his
15206 wife to be accomplished, gentle, affectionate, and not stupid; and
15207 Lucy had all these qualifications. Stephen was not surprised to find
15208 himself in love with her, and was conscious of excellent judgment in
15209 preferring her to Miss Leyburn, the daughter of the county member,
15210 although Lucy was only the daughter of his father's subordinate
15211 partner; besides, he had had to defy and overcome a slight
15212 unwillingness and disappointment in his father and sisters,--a
15213 circumstance which gives a young man an agreeable consciousness of his
15214 own dignity. Stephen was aware that he had sense and independence
15215 enough to choose the wife who was likely to make him happy, unbiassed
15216 by any indirect considerations. He meant to choose Lucy; she was a
15217 little darling, and exactly the sort of woman he had always admired.
15218
15219
15220
15221 Chapter II
15222
15223 First Impressions
15224
15225
15226 "He is very clever, Maggie," said Lucy. She was kneeling on a
15227 footstool at Maggie's feet, after placing that dark lady in the large
15228 crimson-velvet chair. "I feel sure you will like him. I hope you
15229 will."
15230
15231 "I shall be very difficult to please," said Maggie, smiling, and
15232 holding up one of Lucy's long curls, that the sunlight might shine
15233 through it. "A gentleman who thinks he is good enough for Lucy must
15234 expect to be sharply criticised."
15235
15236 "Indeed, he's a great deal too good for me. And sometimes, when he is
15237 away, I almost think it can't really be that he loves me. But I can
15238 never doubt it when he is with me, though I couldn't bear any one but
15239 you to know that I feel in that way, Maggie."
15240
15241 "Oh, then, if I disapprove of him you can give him up, since you are
15242 not engaged," said Maggie, with playful gravity.
15243
15244 "I would rather not be engaged. When people are engaged, they begin to
15245 think of being married soon," said Lucy, too thoroughly preoccupied to
15246 notice Maggie's joke; "and I should like everything to go on for a
15247 long while just as it is. Sometimes I am quite frightened lest Stephen
15248 should say that he has spoken to papa; and from something that fell
15249 from papa the other day, I feel sure he and Mr. Guest are expecting
15250 that. And Stephen's sisters are very civil to me now. At first, I
15251 think they didn't like his paying me attention; and that was natural.
15252 It _does_ seem out of keeping that I should ever live in a great place
15253 like the Park House, such a little insignificant thing as I am."
15254
15255 "But people are not expected to be large in proportion to the houses
15256 they live in, like snails," said Maggie, laughing. "Pray, are Mr.
15257 Guest's sisters giantesses?"
15258
15259 "Oh no; and not handsome,--that is, not very," said Lucy,
15260 half-penitent at this uncharitable remark. "But _he_ is--at least he
15261 is generally considered very handsome."
15262
15263 "Though you are unable to share that opinion?"
15264
15265 "Oh, I don't know," said Lucy, blushing pink over brow and neck. "It
15266 is a bad plan to raise expectation; you will perhaps be disappointed.
15267 But I have prepared a charming surprise for _him;_ I shall have a
15268 glorious laugh against him. I shall not tell you what it is, though."
15269
15270 Lucy rose from her knees and went to a little distance, holding her
15271 pretty head on one side, as if she had been arranging Maggie for a
15272 portrait, and wished to judge of the general effect.
15273
15274 "Stand up a moment, Maggie."
15275
15276 "What is your pleasure now?" said Maggie, smiling languidly as she
15277 rose from her chair and looked down on her slight, aerial cousin,
15278 whose figure was quite subordinate to her faultless drapery of silk
15279 and crape.
15280
15281 Lucy kept her contemplative attitude a moment or two in silence, and
15282 then said,--
15283
15284 "I can't think what witchery it is in you, Maggie, that makes you look
15285 best in shabby clothes; though you really must have a new dress now.
15286 But do you know, last night I was trying to fancy you in a handsome,
15287 fashionable dress, and do what I would, that old limp merino would
15288 come back as the only right thing for you. I wonder if Marie
15289 Antoinette looked all the grander when her gown was darned at the
15290 elbows. Now, if _I_ were to put anything shabby on, I should be quite
15291 unnoticeable. I should be a mere rag."
15292
15293 "Oh, quite," said Maggie, with mock gravity. "You would be liable to
15294 be swept out of the room with the cobwebs and carpet-dust, and to find
15295 yourself under the grate, like Cinderella. Mayn't I sit down now?"
15296
15297 "Yes, now you may," said Lucy, laughing. Then, with an air of serious
15298 reflection, unfastening her large jet brooch, "But you must change
15299 brooches, Maggie; that little butterfly looks silly on you."
15300
15301 "But won't that mar the charming effect of my consistent shabbiness?"
15302 said Maggie, seating herself submissively, while Lucy knelt again and
15303 unfastened the contemptible butterfly. "I wish my mother were of your
15304 opinion, for she was fretting last night because this is my best
15305 frock. I've been saving my money to pay for some lessons; I shall
15306 never get a better situation without more accomplishments."
15307
15308 Maggie gave a little sigh.
15309
15310 "Now, don't put on that sad look again," said Lucy, pinning the large
15311 brooch below Maggie's fine throat. "You're forgetting that you've left
15312 that dreary schoolroom behind you, and have no little girls' clothes
15313 to mend."
15314
15315 "Yes," said Maggie. "It is with me as I used to think it would be with
15316 the poor uneasy white bear I saw at the show. I thought he must have
15317 got so stupid with the habit of turning backward and forward in that
15318 narrow space that he would keep doing it if they set him free. One
15319 gets a bad habit of being unhappy."
15320
15321 "But I shall put you under a discipline of pleasure that will make you
15322 lose that bad habit," said Lucy, sticking the black butterfly absently
15323 in her own collar, while her eyes met Maggie's affectionately.
15324
15325 "You dear, tiny thing," said Maggie, in one of her bursts of loving
15326 admiration, "you enjoy other people's happiness so much, I believe you
15327 would do without any of your own. I wish I were like you."
15328
15329 "I've never been tried in that way," said Lucy. "I've always been so
15330 happy. I don't know whether I could bear much trouble; I never had any
15331 but poor mamma's death. You _have_ been tried, Maggie; and I'm sure
15332 you feel for other people quite as much as I do."
15333
15334 "No, Lucy," said Maggie, shaking her head slowly, "I don't enjoy their
15335 happiness as you do, else I should be more contented. I do feel for
15336 them when they are in trouble; I don't think I could ever bear to make
15337 any one _un_happy; and yet I often hate myself, because I get angry
15338 sometimes at the sight of happy people. I think I get worse as I get
15339 older, more selfish. That seems very dreadful."
15340
15341 "Now, Maggie!" said Lucy, in a tone of remonstrance, "I don't believe
15342 a word of that. It is all a gloomy fancy, just because you are
15343 depressed by a dull, wearisome life."
15344
15345 "Well, perhaps it is," said Maggie, resolutely clearing away the
15346 clouds from her face with a bright smile, and throwing herself
15347 backward in her chair. "Perhaps it comes from the school diet,--watery
15348 rice-pudding spiced with Pinnock. Let us hope it will give way before
15349 my mother's custards and this charming Geoffrey Crayon."
15350
15351 Maggie took up the "Sketch Book," which lay by her on the table.
15352
15353 "Do I look fit to be seen with this little brooch?" said Lucy, going
15354 to survey the effect in the chimney-glass.
15355
15356 "Oh no, Mr. Guest will be obliged to go out of the room again if he
15357 sees you in it. Pray make haste and put another on."
15358
15359 Lucy hurried out of the room, but Maggie did not take the opportunity
15360 of opening her book; she let it fall on her knees, while her eyes
15361 wandered to the window, where she could see the sunshine falling on
15362 the rich clumps of spring flowers and on the long hedge of laurels,
15363 and beyond, the silvery breadth of the dear old Floss, that at this
15364 distance seemed to be sleeping in a morning holiday. The sweet fresh
15365 garden-scent came through the open window, and the birds were busy
15366 flitting and alighting, gurgling and singing. Yet Maggie's eyes began
15367 to fill with tears. The sight of the old scenes had made the rush of
15368 memories so painful that even yesterday she had only been able to
15369 rejoice in her mother's restored comfort and Tom's brotherly
15370 friendliness as we rejoice in good news of friends at a distance,
15371 rather than in the presence of a happiness which we share. Memory and
15372 imagination urged upon her a sense of privation too keen to let her
15373 taste what was offered in the transient present. Her future, she
15374 thought, was likely to be worse than her past, for after her years of
15375 contented renunciation, she had slipped back into desire and longing;
15376 she found joyless days of distasteful occupation harder and harder;
15377 she found the image of the intense and varied life she yearned for,
15378 and despaired of, becoming more and more importunate. The sound of the
15379 opening door roused her, and hastily wiping away her tears, she began
15380 to turn over the leaves of her book.
15381
15382 "There is one pleasure, I know, Maggie, that your deepest dismalness
15383 will never resist," said Lucy, beginning to speak as soon as she
15384 entered the room. "That is music, and I mean you to have quite a
15385 riotous feast of it. I mean you to get up your playing again, which
15386 used to be so much better than mine, when we were at Laceham."
15387
15388 "You would have laughed to see me playing the little girls' tunes over
15389 and over to them, when I took them to practise," said Maggie, "just
15390 for the sake of fingering the dear keys again. But I don't know
15391 whether I could play anything more difficult now than 'Begone, dull
15392 care!'"
15393
15394 "I know what a wild state of joy you used to be in when the glee-men
15395 came round," said Lucy, taking up her embroidery; "and we might have
15396 all those old glees that you used to love so, if I were certain that
15397 you don't feel exactly as Tom does about some things."
15398
15399 "I should have thought there was nothing you might be more certain
15400 of," said Maggie, smiling.
15401
15402 "I ought rather to have said, one particular thing. Because if you
15403 feel just as he does about that, we shall want our third voice. St.
15404 Ogg's is so miserably provided with musical gentlemen. There are
15405 really only Stephen and Philip Wakem who have any knowledge of music,
15406 so as to be able to sing a part."
15407
15408 Lucy had looked up from her work as she uttered the last sentence, and
15409 saw that there was a change in Maggie's face.
15410
15411 "Does it hurt you to hear the name mentioned, Maggie? If it does, I
15412 will not speak of him again. I know Tom will not see him if he can
15413 avoid it."
15414
15415 "I don't feel at all as Tom does on that subject," said Maggie, rising
15416 and going to the window as if she wanted to see more of the landscape.
15417 "I've always liked Philip Wakem ever since I was a little girl, and
15418 saw him at Lorton. He was so good when Tom hurt his foot."
15419
15420 "Oh, I'm so glad!" said Lucy. "Then you won't mind his coming
15421 sometimes, and we can have much more music than we could without him.
15422 I'm very fond of poor Philip, only I wish he were not so morbid about
15423 his deformity. I suppose it _is_ his deformity that makes him so sad,
15424 and sometimes bitter. It is certainly very piteous to see his poor
15425 little crooked body and pale face among great, strong people."
15426
15427 "But, Lucy----" said Maggie, trying to arrest the prattling stream.
15428
15429 "Ah, there is the door-bell. That must be Stephen," Lucy went on, not
15430 noticing Maggie's faint effort to speak. "One of the things I most
15431 admire in Stephen is that he makes a greater friend of Philip than any
15432 one."
15433
15434 It was too late for Maggie to speak now; the drawingroom door was
15435 opening, and Minny was already growling in a small way at the entrance
15436 of a tall gentleman, who went up to Lucy and took her hand with a
15437 half-polite, half-tender glance and tone of inquiry, which seemed to
15438 indicate that he was unconscious of any other presence.
15439
15440 "Let me introduce you to my cousin, Miss Tulliver," said Lucy, turning
15441 with wicked enjoyment toward Maggie, who now approached from the
15442 farther window. "This is Mr. Stephen Guest."
15443
15444 For one instant Stephen could not conceal his astonishment at the
15445 sight of this tall, dark-eyed nymph with her jet-black coronet of
15446 hair; the next, Maggie felt herself, for the first time in her life,
15447 receiving the tribute of a very deep blush and a very deep bow from a
15448 person toward whom she herself was conscious of timidity.
15449
15450 This new experience was very agreeable to her, so agreeable that it
15451 almost effaced her previous emotion about Philip. There was a new
15452 brightness in her eyes, and a very becoming flush on her cheek, as she
15453 seated herself.
15454
15455 "I hope you perceive what a striking likeness you drew the day before
15456 yesterday," said Lucy, with a pretty laugh of triumph. She enjoyed her
15457 lover's confusion; the advantage was usually on his side.
15458
15459 "This designing cousin of yours quite deceived me, Miss Tulliver,"
15460 said Stephen, seating himself by Lucy, and stooping to play with
15461 Minny, only looking at Maggie furtively. "She said you had light hair
15462 and blue eyes."
15463
15464 "Nay, it was you who said so," remonstrated Lucy. "I only refrained
15465 from destroying your confidence in your own second-sight."
15466
15467 "I wish I could always err in the same way," said Stephen, "and find
15468 reality so much more beautiful than my preconceptions."
15469
15470 "Now you have proved yourself equal to the occasion," said Maggie,
15471 "and said what it was incumbent on you to say under the
15472 circumstances."
15473
15474 She flashed a slightly defiant look at him; it was clear to her that
15475 he had been drawing a satirical portrait of her beforehand. Lucy had
15476 said he was inclined to be satirical, and Maggie had mentally supplied
15477 the addition, "and rather conceited."
15478
15479 "An alarming amount of devil there," was Stephen's first thought. The
15480 second, when she had bent over her work, was, "I wish she would look
15481 at me again." The next was to answer,--
15482
15483 "I suppose all phrases of mere compliment have their turn to be true.
15484 A man is occasionally grateful when he says 'Thank you.' It's rather
15485 hard upon him that he must use the same words with which all the world
15486 declines a disagreeable invitation, don't you think so, Miss
15487 Tulliver?"
15488
15489 "No," said Maggie, looking at him with her direct glance; "if we use
15490 common words on a great occasion, they are the more striking, because
15491 they are felt at once to have a particular meaning, like old banners,
15492 or every-day clothes, hung up in a sacred place."
15493
15494 "Then my compliment ought to be eloquent," said Stephen, really not
15495 quite knowing what he said while Maggie looked at him, "seeing that
15496 the words were so far beneath the occasion."
15497
15498 "No compliment can be eloquent, except as an expression of
15499 indifference," said Maggie, flushing a little.
15500
15501 Lucy was rather alarmed; she thought Stephen and Maggie were not going
15502 to like each other. She had always feared lest Maggie should appear
15503 too old and clever to please that critical gentleman. "Why, dear
15504 Maggie," she interposed, "you have always pretended that you are too
15505 fond of being admired; and now, I think, you are angry because some
15506 one ventures to admire you."
15507
15508 "Not at all," said Maggie; "I like too well to feel that I am admired,
15509 but compliments never make me feel that."
15510
15511 "I will never pay you a compliment again, Miss Tulliver," said
15512 Stephen.
15513
15514 "Thank you; that will be a proof of respect."
15515
15516 Poor Maggie! She was so unused to society that she could take nothing
15517 as a matter of course, and had never in her life spoken from the lips
15518 merely, so that she must necessarily appear absurd to more experienced
15519 ladies, from the excessive feeling she was apt to throw into very
15520 trivial incidents. But she was even conscious herself of a little
15521 absurdity in this instance. It was true she had a theoretic objection
15522 to compliments, and had once said impatiently to Philip that she
15523 didn't see why women were to be told with a simper that they were
15524 beautiful, any more than old men were to be told that they were
15525 venerable; still, to be so irritated by a common practice in the case
15526 of a stranger like Mr. Stephen Guest, and to care about his having
15527 spoken slightingly of her before he had seen her, was certainly
15528 unreasonable, and as soon as she was silent she began to be ashamed of
15529 herself. It did not occur to her that her irritation was due to the
15530 pleasanter emotion which preceded it, just as when we are satisfied
15531 with a sense of glowing warmth an innocent drop of cold water may fall
15532 upon us as a sudden smart.
15533
15534 Stephen was too well bred not to seem unaware that the previous
15535 conversation could have been felt embarrassing, and at once began to
15536 talk of impersonal matters, asking Lucy if she knew when the bazaar
15537 was at length to take place, so that there might be some hope of
15538 seeing her rain the influence of her eyes on objects more grateful
15539 than those worsted flowers that were growing under her fingers.
15540
15541 "Some day next month, I believe," said Lucy. "But your sisters are
15542 doing more for it than I am; they are to have the largest stall."
15543
15544 "Ah yes; but they carry on their manufactures in their own
15545 sitting-room, where I don't intrude on them. I see you are not
15546 addicted to the fashionable vice of fancy-work, Miss Tulliver," said
15547 Stephen, looking at Maggie's plain hemming.
15548
15549 "No," said Maggie, "I can do nothing more difficult or more elegant
15550 than shirt-making."
15551
15552 "And your plain sewing is so beautiful, Maggie," said Lucy, "that I
15553 think I shall beg a few specimens of you to show as fancy-work. Your
15554 exquisite sewing is quite a mystery to me, you used to dislike that
15555 sort of work so much in old days."
15556
15557 "It is a mystery easily explained, dear," said Maggie, looking up
15558 quietly. "Plain sewing was the only thing I could get money by, so I
15559 was obliged to try and do it well."
15560
15561 Lucy, good and simple as she was, could not help blushing a little.
15562 She did not quite like that Stephen should know that; Maggie need not
15563 have mentioned it. Perhaps there was some pride in the confession,--
15564 the pride of poverty that will not be ashamed of itself. But if Maggie
15565 had been the queen of coquettes she could hardly have invented a means
15566 of giving greater piquancy to her beauty in Stephen's eyes; I am not
15567 sure that the quiet admission of plain sewing and poverty would have
15568 done alone, but assisted by the beauty, they made Maggie more unlike
15569 other women even than she had seemed at first.
15570
15571 "But I can knit, Lucy," Maggie went on, "if that will be of any use
15572 for your bazaar."
15573
15574 "Oh yes, of infinite use. I shall set you to work with scarlet wool
15575 to-morrow. But your sister is the most enviable person," continued
15576 Lucy, turning to Stephen, "to have the talent of modelling. She is
15577 doing a wonderful bust of Dr. Kenn entirely from memory."
15578
15579 "Why, if she can remember to put the eyes very near together, and the
15580 corners of the mouth very far apart, the likeness can hardly fail to
15581 be striking in St. Ogg's."
15582
15583 "Now that is very wicked of you," said Lucy, looking rather hurt. "I
15584 didn't think you would speak disrespectfully of Dr. Kenn."
15585
15586 "I say anything disrespectful of Dr. Kenn? Heaven forbid! But I am not
15587 bound to respect a libellous bust of him. I think Kenn one of the
15588 finest fellows in the world. I don't care much about the tall
15589 candlesticks he has put on the communion-table, and I shouldn't like
15590 to spoil my temper by getting up to early prayers every morning. But
15591 he's the only man I ever knew personally who seems to me to have
15592 anything of the real apostle in him,--a man who has eight hundred
15593 a-year and is contented with deal furniture and boiled beef because he
15594 gives away two-thirds of his income. That was a very fine thing of
15595 him,--taking into his house that poor lad Grattan, who shot his mother
15596 by accident. He sacrifices more time than a less busy man could spare,
15597 to save the poor fellow from getting into a morbid state of mind about
15598 it. He takes the lad out with him constantly, I see."
15599
15600 "That is beautiful," said Maggie, who had let her work fall, and was
15601 listening with keen interest. "I never knew any one who did such things."
15602
15603 "And one admires that sort of action in Kenn all the more," said
15604 Stephen, "because his manners in general are rather cold and severe.
15605 There's nothing sugary and maudlin about him."
15606
15607 "Oh, I think he's a perfect character!" said Lucy, with pretty
15608 enthusiasm.
15609
15610 "No; there I can't agree with you," said Stephen, shaking his head
15611 with sarcastic gravity.
15612
15613 "Now, what fault can you point out in him?"
15614
15615 "He's an Anglican."
15616
15617 "Well, those are the right views, I think," said Lucy, gravely.
15618
15619 "That settles the question in the abstract," said Stephen, "but not
15620 from a parliamentary point of view. He has set the Dissenters and the
15621 Church people by the ears; and a rising senator like myself, of whose
15622 services the country is very much in need, will find it inconvenient
15623 when he puts up for the honor of representing St. Ogg's in
15624 Parliament."
15625
15626 "Do you really think of that?" said Lucy, her eyes brightening with a
15627 proud pleasure that made her neglect the argumentative interests of
15628 Anglicanism.
15629
15630 "Decidedly, whenever old Mr. Leyburn's public spirit and gout induce
15631 him to give way. My father's heart is set on it; and gifts like mine,
15632 you know"--here Stephen drew himself up, and rubbed his large white
15633 hands over his hair with playful self-admiration--"gifts like mine
15634 involve great responsibilities. Don't you think so, Miss Tulliver?"
15635
15636 "Yes," said Maggie, smiling, but not looking up; "so much fluency and
15637 self-possession should not be wasted entirely on private occasions."
15638
15639 "Ah, I see how much penetration you have," said Stephen. "You have
15640 discovered already that I am talkative and impudent. Now superficial
15641 people never discern that, owing to my manner, I suppose."
15642
15643 "She doesn't look at me when I talk of myself," he thought, while his
15644 listeners were laughing. "I must try other subjects."
15645
15646 Did Lucy intend to be present at the meeting of the Book Club next
15647 week? was the next question. Then followed the recommendation to
15648 choose Southey's "Life of Cowper," unless she were inclined to be
15649 philosophical, and startle the ladies of St. Ogg's by voting for one
15650 of the Bridgewater Treatises. Of course Lucy wished to know what these
15651 alarmingly learned books were; and as it is always pleasant to improve
15652 the minds of ladies by talking to them at ease on subjects of which
15653 they know nothing, Stephen became quite brilliant in an account of
15654 Buckland's Treatise, which he had just been reading. He was rewarded
15655 by seeing Maggie let her work fall, and gradually get so absorbed in
15656 his wonderful geological story that she sat looking at him, leaning
15657 forward with crossed arms, and with an entire absence of
15658 self-consciousness, as if he had been the snuffiest of old professors,
15659 and she a downy-lipped alumna. He was so fascinated by the clear,
15660 large gaze that at last he forgot to look away from it occasionally
15661 toward Lucy; but she, sweet child, was only rejoicing that Stephen was
15662 proving to Maggie how clever he was, and that they would certainly be
15663 good friends after all.
15664
15665 "I will bring you the book, shall I, Miss Tulliver?" said Stephen,
15666 when he found the stream of his recollections running rather shallow.
15667 "There are many illustrations in it that you will like to see."
15668
15669 "Oh, thank you," said Maggie, blushing with returning
15670 self-consciousness at this direct address, and taking up her work
15671 again.
15672
15673 "No, no," Lucy interposed. "I must forbid your plunging Maggie in
15674 books. I shall never get her away from them; and I want her to have
15675 delicious do-nothing days, filled with boating and chatting and riding
15676 and driving; that is the holiday she needs."
15677
15678 "Apropos!" said Stephen, looking at his watch. "Shall we go out for a
15679 row on the river now? The tide will suit for us to the Tofton way, and
15680 we can walk back."
15681
15682 That was a delightful proposition to Maggie, for it was years since
15683 she had been on the river. When she was gone to put on her bonnet,
15684 Lucy lingered to give an order to the servant, and took the
15685 opportunity of telling Stephen that Maggie had no objection to seeing
15686 Philip, so that it was a pity she had sent that note the day before
15687 yesterday. But she would write another to-morrow and invite him.
15688
15689 "I'll call and beat him up to-morrow," said Stephen, "and bring him
15690 with me in the evening, shall I? My sisters will want to call on you
15691 when I tell them your cousin is with you. I must leave the field clear
15692 for them in the morning."
15693
15694 "Oh yes, pray bring him," said Lucy. "And you _will_ like Maggie,
15695 sha'n't you?" she added, in a beseeching tone. "Isn't she a dear,
15696 noble-looking creature?"
15697
15698 "Too tall," said Stephen, smiling down upon her, "and a little too
15699 fiery. She is not my type of woman, you know."
15700
15701 Gentlemen, you are aware, are apt to impart these imprudent
15702 confidences to ladies concerning their unfavorable opinion of sister
15703 fair ones. That is why so many women have the advantage of knowing
15704 that they are secretly repulsive to men who have self-denyingly made
15705 ardent love to them. And hardly anything could be more distinctively
15706 characteristic of Lucy than that she both implicitly believed what
15707 Stephen said, and was determined that Maggie should not know it. But
15708 you, who have a higher logic than the verbal to guide you, have
15709 already foreseen, as the direct sequence to that unfavorable opinion
15710 of Stephen's, that he walked down to the boathouse calculating, by the
15711 aid of a vivid imagination, that Maggie must give him her hand at
15712 least twice in consequence of this pleasant boating plan, and that a
15713 gentleman who wishes ladies to look at him is advantageously situated
15714 when he is rowing them in a boat. What then? Had he fallen in love
15715 with this surprising daughter of Mrs. Tulliver at first sight?
15716 Certainly not. Such passions are never heard of in real life. Besides,
15717 he was in love already, and half-engaged to the dearest little
15718 creature in the world; and he was not a man to make a fool of himself
15719 in any way. But when one is five-and-twenty, one has not chalk-stones
15720 at one's finger-ends that the touch of a handsome girl should be
15721 entirely indifferent. It was perfectly natural and safe to admire
15722 beauty and enjoy looking at it,--at least under such circumstances as
15723 the present. And there was really something very interesting about
15724 this girl, with her poverty and troubles; it was gratifying to see the
15725 friendship between the two cousins. Generally, Stephen admitted, he
15726 was not fond of women who had any peculiarity of character, but here
15727 the peculiarity seemed really of a superior kind, and provided one is
15728 not obliged to marry such women, why, they certainly make a variety in
15729 social intercourse.
15730
15731 Maggie did not fulfil Stephen's hope by looking at him during the
15732 first quarter of an hour; her eyes were too full of the old banks that
15733 she knew so well. She felt lonely, cut off from Philip,--the only
15734 person who had ever seemed to love her devotedly, as she had always
15735 longed to be loved. But presently the rhythmic movement of the oars
15736 attracted her, and she thought she should like to learn how to row.
15737 This roused her from her reverie, and she asked if she might take an
15738 oar. It appeared that she required much teaching, and she became
15739 ambitious. The exercise brought the warm blood into her cheeks, and
15740 made her inclined to take her lesson merrily.
15741
15742 "I shall not be satisfied until I can manage both oars, and row you
15743 and Lucy," she said, looking very bright as she stepped out of the
15744 boat. Maggie, we know, was apt to forget the thing she was doing, and
15745 she had chosen an inopportune moment for her remark; her foot slipped,
15746 but happily Mr. Stephen Guest held her hand, and kept her up with a
15747 firm grasp.
15748
15749 "You have not hurt yourself at all, I hope?" he said, bending to look
15750 in her face with anxiety. It was very charming to be taken care of in
15751 that kind, graceful manner by some one taller and stronger than one's
15752 self. Maggie had never felt just in the same way before.
15753
15754 When they reached home again, they found uncle and aunt Pullet seated
15755 with Mrs. Tulliver in the drawing-room, and Stephen hurried away,
15756 asking leave to come again in the evening.
15757
15758 "And pray bring with you the volume of Purcell that you took away,"
15759 said Lucy. "I want Maggie to hear your best songs."
15760
15761 Aunt Pullet, under the certainty that Maggie would be invited to go
15762 out with Lucy, probably to Park House, was much shocked at the
15763 shabbiness of her clothes, which when witnessed by the higher society
15764 of St. Ogg's, would be a discredit to the family, that demanded a
15765 strong and prompt remedy; and the consultation as to what would be
15766 most suitable to this end from among the superfluities of Mrs.
15767 Pullet's wardrobe was one that Lucy as well as Mrs. Tulliver entered
15768 into with some zeal. Maggie must really have an evening dress as soon
15769 as possible, and she was about the same height as aunt Pullet.
15770
15771 "But she's so much broader across the shoulders than I am, it's very
15772 ill-convenient," said Mrs. Pullet, "else she might wear that beautiful
15773 black brocade o' mine without any alteration; and her arms are beyond
15774 everything," added Mrs. Pullet, sorrowfully, as she lifted Maggie's
15775 large round arm, "She'd never get my sleeves on."
15776
15777 "Oh, never mind that, aunt; send us the dress," said Lucy. "I don't
15778 mean Maggie to have long sleeves, and I have abundance of black lace
15779 for trimming. Her arms will look beautiful."
15780
15781 "Maggie's arms _are_ a pretty shape," said Mrs. Tulliver. "They're
15782 like mine used to be, only mine was never brown; I wish she'd had
15783 _our_ family skin."
15784
15785 "Nonsense, aunty!" said Lucy, patting her aunt Tulliver's shoulder,
15786 "you don't understand those things. A painter would think Maggie's
15787 complexion beautiful."
15788
15789 "Maybe, my dear," said Mrs. Tulliver, submissively. "You know better
15790 than I do. Only when I was young a brown skin wasn't thought well on
15791 among respectable folks."
15792
15793 "No," said uncle Pullet, who took intense interest in the ladies'
15794 conversation as he sucked his lozenges. "Though there was a song about
15795 the 'Nut-brown Maid' too; I think she was crazy,--crazy Kate,--but I
15796 can't justly remember."
15797
15798 "Oh dear, dear!" said Maggie, laughing, but impatient; "I think that
15799 will be the end of _my_ brown skin, if it is always to be talked about
15800 so much."
15801
15802
15803
15804 Chapter III
15805
15806 Confidential Moments
15807
15808
15809 When Maggie went up to her bedroom that night, it appeared that she
15810 was not at all inclined to undress. She set down her candle on the
15811 first table that presented itself, and began to walk up and down her
15812 room, which was a large one, with a firm, regular, and rather rapid
15813 step, which showed that the exercise was the instinctive vent of
15814 strong excitement. Her eyes and cheeks had an almost feverish
15815 brilliancy; her head was thrown backward, and her hands were clasped
15816 with the palms outward, and with that tension of the arms which is apt
15817 to accompany mental absorption.
15818
15819 Had anything remarkable happened?
15820
15821 Nothing that you are not likely to consider in the highest degree
15822 unimportant. She had been hearing some fine music sung by a fine bass
15823 voice,--but then it was sung in a provincial, amateur fashion, such as
15824 would have left a critical ear much to desire. And she was conscious
15825 of having been looked at a great deal, in rather a furtive manner,
15826 from beneath a pair of well-marked horizontal eyebrows, with a glance
15827 that seemed somehow to have caught the vibratory influence of the
15828 voice. Such things could have had no perceptible effect on a
15829 thoroughly well-educated young lady, with a perfectly balanced mind,
15830 who had had all the advantages of fortune, training, and refined
15831 society. But if Maggie had been that young lady, you would probably
15832 have known nothing about her: her life would have had so few
15833 vicissitudes that it could hardly have been written; for the happiest
15834 women, like the happiest nations, have no history.
15835
15836 In poor Maggie's highly-strung, hungry nature,--just come away from a
15837 third-rate schoolroom, with all its jarring sounds and petty round of
15838 tasks,--these apparently trivial causes had the effect of rousing and
15839 exalting her imagination in a way that was mysterious to herself. It
15840 was not that she thought distinctly of Mr. Stephen Guest, or dwelt on
15841 the indications that he looked at her with admiration; it was rather
15842 that she felt the half-remote presence of a world of love and beauty
15843 and delight, made up of vague, mingled images from all the poetry and
15844 romance she had ever read, or had ever woven in her dreamy reveries.
15845 Her mind glanced back once or twice to the time when she had courted
15846 privation, when she had thought all longing, all impatience was
15847 subdued; but that condition seemed irrecoverably gone, and she
15848 recoiled from the remembrance of it. No prayer, no striving now, would
15849 bring back that negative peace; the battle of her life, it seemed, was
15850 not to be decided in that short and easy way,--by perfect renunciation
15851 at the very threshold of her youth.
15852
15853 The music was vibrating in her still,--Purcell's music, with its wild
15854 passion and fancy,--and she could not stay in the recollection of that
15855 bare, lonely past. She was in her brighter aerial world again, when a
15856 little tap came at the door; of course it was her cousin, who entered
15857 in ample white dressing-gown.
15858
15859 "Why, Maggie, you naughty child, haven't you begun to undress?" said
15860 Lucy, in astonishment. "I promised not to come and talk to you,
15861 because I thought you must be tired. But here you are, looking as if
15862 you were ready to dress for a ball. Come, come, get on your
15863 dressing-gown and unplait your hair."
15864
15865 "Well, _you_ are not very forward," retorted Maggie, hastily reaching
15866 her own pink cotton gown, and looking at Lucy's light-brown hair
15867 brushed back in curly disorder.
15868
15869 "Oh, I have not much to do. I shall sit down and talk to you till I
15870 see you are really on the way to bed."
15871
15872 While Maggie stood and unplaited her long black hair over her pink
15873 drapery, Lucy sat down near the toilette-table, watching her with
15874 affectionate eyes, and head a little aside, like a pretty spaniel. If
15875 it appears to you at all incredible that young ladies should be led on
15876 to talk confidentially in a situation of this kind, I will beg you to
15877 remember that human life furnishes many exceptional cases.
15878
15879 "You really _have_ enjoyed the music to-night, haven't you Maggie?"
15880
15881 "Oh yes, that is what prevented me from feeling sleepy. I think I
15882 should have no other mortal wants, if I could always have plenty of
15883 music. It seems to infuse strength into my limbs, and ideas into my
15884 brain. Life seems to go on without effort, when I am filled with
15885 music. At other times one is conscious of carrying a weight."
15886
15887 "And Stephen has a splendid voice, hasn't he?"
15888
15889 "Well, perhaps we are neither of us judges of that," said Maggie,
15890 laughing, as she seated herself and tossed her long hair back. "You
15891 are not impartial, and _I_ think any barrel-organ splendid."
15892
15893 "But tell me what you think of him, now. Tell me exactly; good and bad
15894 too."
15895
15896 "Oh, I think you should humiliate him a little. A lover should not be
15897 so much at ease, and so self-confident. He ought to tremble more."
15898
15899 "Nonsense, Maggie! As if any one could tremble at me! You think he is
15900 conceited, I see that. But you don't dislike him, do you?"
15901
15902 "Dislike him! No. Am I in the habit of seeing such charming people,
15903 that I should be very difficult to please? Besides, how could I
15904 dislike any one that promised to make you happy, my dear thing!"
15905 Maggie pinched Lucy's dimpled chin.
15906
15907 "We shall have more music to-morrow evening," said Lucy, looking happy
15908 already, "for Stephen will bring Philip Wakem with him."
15909
15910 "Oh, Lucy, I can't see him," said Maggie, turning pale. "At least, I
15911 could not see him without Tom's leave."
15912
15913 "Is Tom such a tyrant as that?" said Lucy, surprised. "I'll take the
15914 responsibility, then,--tell him it was my fault."
15915
15916 "But, dear," said Maggie, falteringly, "I promised Tom very solemnly,
15917 before my father's death,--I promised him I would not speak to Philip
15918 without his knowledge and consent. And I have a great dread of opening
15919 the subject with Tom,--of getting into a quarrel with him again."
15920
15921 "But I never heard of anything so strange and unreasonable. What harm
15922 can poor Philip have done? May I speak to Tom about it?"
15923
15924 "Oh no, pray don't, dear," said Maggie. "I'll go to him myself
15925 to-morrow, and tell him that you wish Philip to come. I've thought
15926 before of asking him to absolve me from my promise, but I've not had
15927 the courage to determine on it."
15928
15929 They were both silent for some moments, and then Lucy said,--
15930
15931 "Maggie, you have secrets from me, and I have none from you."
15932
15933 Maggie looked meditatively away from Lucy. Then she turned to her and
15934 said, "I _should_ like to tell you about Philip. But, Lucy, you must
15935 not betray that you know it to any one--least of all to Philip
15936 himself, or to Mr. Stephen Guest."
15937
15938 The narrative lasted long, for Maggie had never before known the
15939 relief of such an outpouring; she had never before told Lucy anything
15940 of her inmost life; and the sweet face bent toward her with
15941 sympathetic interest, and the little hand pressing hers, encouraged
15942 her to speak on. On two points only she was not expansive. She did not
15943 betray fully what still rankled in her mind as Tom's great
15944 offence,--the insults he had heaped on Philip. Angry as the
15945 remembrance still made her, she could not bear that any one else
15946 should know it at all, both for Tom's sake and Philip's. And she could
15947 not bear to tell Lucy of the last scene between her father and Wakem,
15948 though it was this scene which she had ever since felt to be a new
15949 barrier between herself and Philip. She merely said, she saw now that
15950 Tom was, on the whole, right in regarding any prospect of love and
15951 marriage between her and Philip as put out of the question by the
15952 relation of the two families. Of course Philip's father would never
15953 consent.
15954
15955 "There, Lucy, you have had my story," said Maggie, smiling, with the
15956 tears in her eyes. "You see I am like Sir Andrew Aguecheek. _I_ was
15957 adored once."
15958
15959 "Ah, now I see how it is you know Shakespeare and everything, and have
15960 learned so much since you left school; which always seemed to me
15961 witchcraft before,--part of your general uncanniness," said Lucy.
15962
15963 She mused a little with her eyes downward, and then added, looking at
15964 Maggie, "It is very beautiful that you should love Philip; I never
15965 thought such a happiness would befall him. And in my opinion, you
15966 ought not to give him up. There are obstacles now; but they may be
15967 done away with in time."
15968
15969 Maggie shook her head.
15970
15971 "Yes, yes," persisted Lucy; "I can't help being hopeful about it.
15972 There is something romantic in it,--out of the common way,--just what
15973 everything that happens to you ought to be. And Philip will adore you
15974 like a husband in a fairy tale. Oh, I shall puzzle my small brain to
15975 contrive some plot that will bring everybody into the right mind, so
15976 that you may marry Philip when I marry--somebody else. Wouldn't that
15977 be a pretty ending to all my poor, poor Maggie's troubles?"
15978
15979 Maggie tried to smile, but shivered, as if she felt a sudden chill.
15980
15981 "Ah, dear, you are cold," said Lucy. "You must go to bed; and so must
15982 I. I dare not think what time it is."
15983
15984 They kissed each other, and Lucy went away, possessed of a confidence
15985 which had a strong influence over her subsequent impressions. Maggie
15986 had been thoroughly sincere; her nature had never found it easy to be
15987 otherwise. But confidences are sometimes blinding, even when they are
15988 sincere.
15989
15990
15991
15992 Chapter IV
15993
15994 Brother and Sister
15995
15996
15997 Maggie was obliged to go to Tom's lodgings in the middle of the day,
15998 when he would be coming in to dinner, else she would not have found
15999 him at home. He was not lodging with entire strangers. Our friend Bob
16000 Jakin had, with Mumps's tacit consent, taken not only a wife about
16001 eight months ago, but also one of those queer old houses, pierced with
16002 surprising passages, by the water-side, where, as he observed, his
16003 wife and mother could keep themselves out of mischief by letting out
16004 two "pleasure-boats," in which he had invested some of his savings,
16005 and by taking in a lodger for the parlor and spare bedroom. Under
16006 these circumstances, what could be better for the interests of all
16007 parties, sanitary considerations apart, than that the lodger should be
16008 Mr. Tom?
16009
16010 It was Bob's wife who opened the door to Maggie. She was a tiny woman,
16011 with the general physiognomy of a Dutch doll, looking, in comparison
16012 with Bob's mother, who filled up the passage in the rear, very much
16013 like one of those human figures which the artist finds conveniently
16014 standing near a colossal statue to show the proportions. The tiny
16015 woman curtsied and looked up at Maggie with some awe as soon as she
16016 had opened the door; but the words, "Is my brother at home?" which
16017 Maggie uttered smilingly, made her turn round with sudden excitement,
16018 and say,--
16019
16020 "Eh, mother, mother--tell Bob!--it's Miss Maggie! Come in, Miss, for
16021 goodness do," she went on, opening a side door, and endeavoring to
16022 flatten her person against the wall to make the utmost space for the
16023 visitor.
16024
16025 Sad recollections crowded on Maggie as she entered the small parlor,
16026 which was now all that poor Tom had to call by the name of
16027 "home,"--that name which had once, so many years ago, meant for both
16028 of them the same sum of dear familiar objects. But everything was not
16029 strange to her in this new room; the first thing her eyes dwelt on was
16030 the large old Bible, and the sight was not likely to disperse the old
16031 memories. She stood without speaking.
16032
16033 "If you please to take the privilege o' sitting down, Miss," said Mrs.
16034 Jakin, rubbing her apron over a perfectly clean chair, and then
16035 lifting up the corner of that garment and holding it to her face with
16036 an air of embarrassment, as she looked wonderingly at Maggie.
16037
16038 "Bob is at home, then?" said Maggie, recovering herself, and smiling
16039 at the bashful Dutch doll.
16040
16041 "Yes, Miss; but I think he must be washing and dressing himself; I'll
16042 go and see," said Mrs. Jakin, disappearing.
16043
16044 But she presently came back walking with new courage a little way
16045 behind her husband, who showed the brilliancy of his blue eyes and
16046 regular white teeth in the doorway, bowing respectfully.
16047
16048 "How do you do, Bob?" said Maggie, coming forward and putting out her
16049 hand to him; "I always meant to pay your wife a visit, and I shall
16050 come another day on purpose for that, if she will let me. But I was
16051 obliged to come to-day to speak to my brother."
16052
16053 "He'll be in before long, Miss. He's doin' finely, Mr. Tom is; he'll
16054 be one o' the first men hereabouts,--you'll see that."
16055
16056 "Well, Bob, I'm sure he'll be indebted to you, whatever he becomes; he
16057 said so himself only the other night, when he was talking of you."
16058
16059 "Eh, Miss, that's his way o' takin' it. But I think the more on't when
16060 he says a thing, because his tongue doesn't overshoot him as mine
16061 does. Lors! I'm no better nor a tilted bottle, I ar'n't,--I can't stop
16062 mysen when once I begin. But you look rarely, Miss; it does me good to
16063 see you. What do you say now, Prissy?"--here Bob turned to his
16064 wife,--"Isn't it all come true as I said? Though there isn't many
16065 sorts o' goods as I can't over-praise when I set my tongue to't."
16066
16067 Mrs. Bob's small nose seemed to be following the example of her eyes
16068 in turning up reverentially toward Maggie, but she was able now to
16069 smile and curtsey, and say, "I'd looked forrard like aenything to
16070 seein' you, Miss, for my husband's tongue's been runnin' on you, like
16071 as if he was light-headed, iver since first he come a-courtin' on me."
16072
16073 "Well, well," said Bob, looking rather silly. "Go an' see after the
16074 taters, else Mr. Tom 'ull have to wait for 'em."
16075
16076 "I hope Mumps is friendly with Mrs. Jakin, Bob," said Maggie, smiling.
16077 "I remember you used to say he wouldn't like your marrying."
16078
16079 "Eh, Miss," said Bob, "he made up his mind to't when he see'd what a
16080 little un she was. He pretends not to see her mostly, or else to think
16081 as she isn't full-growed. But about Mr. Tom, Miss," said Bob, speaking
16082 lower and looking serious, "he's as close as a iron biler, he is; but
16083 I'm a 'cutish chap, an' when I've left off carrying my pack, an' am at
16084 a loose end, I've got more brains nor I know what to do wi', an' I'm
16085 forced to busy myself wi' other folks's insides. An' it worrets me as
16086 Mr. Tom'll sit by himself so glumpish, a-knittin' his brow, an'
16087 a-lookin' at the fire of a night. He should be a bit livelier now, a
16088 fine young fellow like him. My wife says, when she goes in sometimes,
16089 an' he takes no notice of her, he sits lookin' into the fire, and
16090 frownin' as if he was watchin' folks at work in it."
16091
16092 "He thinks so much about business," said Maggie.
16093
16094 "Ay," said Bob, speaking lower; "but do you think it's nothin' else,
16095 Miss? He's close, Mr. Tom is; but I'm a 'cute chap, I am, an' I
16096 thought tow'rt last Christmas as I'd found out a soft place in him. It
16097 was about a little black spaniel--a rare bit o' breed--as he made a
16098 fuss to get. But since then summat's come over him, as he's set his
16099 teeth again' things more nor iver, for all he's had such good luck.
16100 An' I wanted to tell _you_, Miss, 'cause I thought you might work it
16101 out of him a bit, now you're come. He's a deal too lonely, and doesn't
16102 go into company enough."
16103
16104 "I'm afraid I have very little power over him, Bob," said Maggie, a
16105 good deal moved by Bob's suggestion. It was a totally new idea to her
16106 mind that Tom could have his love troubles. Poor fellow!--and in love
16107 with Lucy too! But it was perhaps a mere fancy of Bob's too officious
16108 brain. The present of the dog meant nothing more than cousinship and
16109 gratitude. But Bob had already said, "Here's Mr. Tom," and the outer
16110 door was opening.
16111
16112 "There is no time to spare, Tom," said Maggie, as soon as Bob left the
16113 room. "I must tell you at once what I came about, else I shall be
16114 hindering you from taking your dinner."
16115
16116 Tom stood with his back against the chimney-piece, and Maggie was
16117 seated opposite the light. He noticed that she was tremulous, and he
16118 had a presentiment of the subject she was going to speak about. The
16119 presentiment made his voice colder and harder as he said, "What is
16120 it?"
16121
16122 This tone roused a spirit of resistance in Maggie, and she put her
16123 request in quite a different form from the one she had predetermined
16124 on. She rose from her seat, and looking straight at Tom, said,--
16125
16126 "I want you to absolve me from my promise about Philip Wakem. Or
16127 rather, I promised you not to see him without telling you. I am come
16128 to tell you that I wish to see him."
16129
16130 "Very well," said Tom, still more coldly.
16131
16132 But Maggie had hardly finished speaking in that chill, defiant manner,
16133 before she repented, and felt the dread of alienation from her
16134 brother.
16135
16136 "Not for myself, dear Tom. Don't be angry. I shouldn't have asked it,
16137 only that Philip, you know, is a friend of Lucy's and she wishes him
16138 to come, has invited him to come this evening; and I told her I
16139 couldn't see him without telling you. I shall only see him in the
16140 presence of other people. There will never be anything secret between
16141 us again."
16142
16143 Tom looked away from Maggie, knitting his brow more strongly for a
16144 little while. Then he turned to her and said, slowly and
16145 emphatically,--
16146
16147 "You know what is my feeling on that subject, Maggie. There is no need
16148 for my repeating anything I said a year ago. While my father was
16149 living, I felt bound to use the utmost power over you, to prevent you
16150 from disgracing him as well as yourself, and all of us. But now I must
16151 leave you to your own choice. You wish to be independent; you told me
16152 so after my father's death. My opinion is not changed. If you think of
16153 Philip Wakem as a lover again, you must give up me."
16154
16155 "I don't wish it, dear Tom, at least as things are; I see that it
16156 would lead to misery. But I shall soon go away to another situation,
16157 and I should like to be friends with him again while I am here. Lucy
16158 wishes it."
16159
16160 The severity of Tom's face relaxed a little.
16161
16162 "I shouldn't mind your seeing him occasionally at my uncle's--I don't
16163 want you to make a fuss on the subject. But I have no confidence in
16164 you, Maggie. You would be led away to do anything."
16165
16166 That was a cruel word. Maggie's lip began to tremble.
16167
16168 "Why will you say that, Tom? It is very hard of you. Have I not done
16169 and borne everything as well as I could? And I kept my word to
16170 you--when--when----My life has not been a happy one, any more than
16171 yours."
16172
16173 She was obliged to be childish; the tears would come. When Maggie was
16174 not angry, she was as dependent on kind or cold words as a daisy on
16175 the sunshine or the cloud; the need of being loved would always subdue
16176 her, as, in old days, it subdued her in the worm-eaten attic. The
16177 brother's goodness came uppermost at this appeal, but it could only
16178 show itself in Tom's fashion. He put his hand gently on her arm, and
16179 said, in the tone of a kind pedagogue,--
16180
16181 "Now listen to me, Maggie. I'll tell you what I mean. You're always in
16182 extremes; you have no judgment and self-command; and yet you think you
16183 know best, and will not submit to be guided. You know I didn't wish
16184 you to take a situation. My aunt Pullet was willing to give you a good
16185 home, and you might have lived respectably amongst your relations,
16186 until I could have provided a home for you with my mother. And that is
16187 what I should like to do. I wished my sister to be a lady, and I
16188 always have taken care of you, as my father desired, until you were
16189 well married. But your ideas and mine never accord, and you will not
16190 give way. Yet you might have sense enough to see that a brother, who
16191 goes out into the world and mixes with men, necessarily knows better
16192 what is right and respectable for his sister than she can know
16193 herself. You think I am not kind; but my kindness can only be directed
16194 by what I believe to be good for you."
16195
16196 "Yes, I know, dear Tom," said Maggie, still half-sobbing, but trying
16197 to control her tears. "I know you would do a great deal for me; I know
16198 how you work, and don't spare yourself. I am grateful to you. But,
16199 indeed, you can't quite judge for me; our natures are very different.
16200 You don't know how differently things affect me from what they do
16201 you."
16202
16203 "Yes, I _do_ know; I know it too well. I know how differently you must
16204 feel about all that affects our family, and your own dignity as a
16205 young woman, before you could think of receiving secret addresses from
16206 Philip Wakem. If it was not disgusting to me in every other way, I
16207 should object to my sister's name being associated for a moment with
16208 that of a young man whose father must hate the very thought of us all,
16209 and would spurn you. With any one but you, I should think it quite
16210 certain that what you witnessed just before my father's death would
16211 secure you from ever thinking again of Philip Wakem as a lover. But I
16212 don't feel certain of it with you; I never feel certain about anything
16213 with _you_. At one time you take pleasure in a sort of perverse
16214 self-denial, and at another you have not resolution to resist a thing
16215 that you know to be wrong."
16216
16217 There was a terrible cutting truth in Tom's words,--that hard rind of
16218 truth which is discerned by unimaginative, unsympathetic minds. Maggie
16219 always writhed under this judgment of Tom's; she rebelled and was
16220 humiliated in the same moment; it seemed as if he held a glass before
16221 her to show her her own folly and weakness, as if he were a prophetic
16222 voice predicting her future fallings; and yet, all the while, she
16223 judged him in return; she said inwardly that he was narrow and unjust,
16224 that he was below feeling those mental needs which were often the
16225 source of the wrong-doing or absurdity that made her life a planless
16226 riddle to him.
16227
16228 She did not answer directly; her heart was too full, and she sat down,
16229 leaning her arm on the table. It was no use trying to make Tom feel
16230 that she was near to him. He always repelled her. Her feeling under
16231 his words was complicated by the allusion to the last scene between
16232 her father and Wakem; and at length that painful, solemn memory
16233 surmounted the immediate grievance. No! She did not think of such
16234 things with frivolous indifference, and Tom must not accuse her of
16235 that. She looked up at him with a grave, earnest gaze and said,--
16236
16237 "I can't make you think better of me, Tom, by anything I can say. But
16238 I am not so shut out from all your feelings as you believe me to be. I
16239 see as well as you do that from our position with regard to Philip's
16240 father--not on other grounds--it would be unreasonable, it would be
16241 wrong, for us to entertain the idea of marriage; and I have given up
16242 thinking of him as a lover. I am telling you the truth, and you have
16243 no right to disbelieve me; I have kept my word to you, and you have
16244 never detected me in a falsehood. I should not only not encourage, I
16245 should carefully avoid, any intercourse with Philip on any other
16246 footing than of quiet friendship. You may think that I am unable to
16247 keep my resolutions; but at least you ought not to treat me with hard
16248 contempt on the ground of faults that I have not committed yet."
16249
16250 "Well, Maggie," said Tom, softening under this appeal, "I don't want
16251 to overstrain matters. I think, all things considered, it will be best
16252 for you to see Philip Wakem, if Lucy wishes him to come to the house.
16253 I believe what you say,--at least you believe it yourself, I know; I
16254 can only warn you. I wish to be as good a brother to you as you will
16255 let me."
16256
16257 There was a little tremor in Tom's voice as he uttered the last words,
16258 and Maggie's ready affection came back with as sudden a glow as when
16259 they were children, and bit their cake together as a sacrament of
16260 conciliation. She rose and laid her hand on Tom's shoulder.
16261
16262 "Dear Tom, I know you mean to be good. I know you have had a great
16263 deal to bear, and have done a great deal. I should like to be a
16264 comfort to you, not to vex you. You don't think I'm altogether
16265 naughty, now, do you?"
16266
16267 Tom smiled at the eager face; his smiles were very pleasant to see
16268 when they did come, for the gray eyes could be tender underneath the
16269 frown.
16270
16271 "No, Maggie."
16272
16273 "I may turn out better than you expect."
16274
16275 "I hope you will."
16276
16277 "And may I come some day and make tea for you, and see this extremely
16278 small wife of Bob's again?"
16279
16280 "Yes; but trot away now, for I've no more time to spare," said Tom,
16281 looking at his watch.
16282
16283 "Not to give me a kiss?"
16284
16285 Tom bent to kiss her cheek, and then said,--
16286
16287 "There! Be a good girl. I've got a great deal to think of to-day. I'm
16288 going to have a long consultation with my uncle Deane this afternoon."
16289
16290 "You'll come to aunt Glegg's to-morrow? We're going all to dine early,
16291 that we may go there to tea. You _must_ come; Lucy told me to say so."
16292
16293 "Oh, pooh! I've plenty else to do," said Tom, pulling his bell
16294 violently, and bringing down the small bell-rope.
16295
16296 "I'm frightened; I shall run away," said Maggie, making a laughing
16297 retreat; while Tom, with masculine philosophy, flung the bell-rope to
16298 the farther end of the room; not very far either,--a touch of human
16299 experience which I flatter myself will come home to the bosoms of not
16300 a few substantial or distinguished men who were once at an early stage
16301 of their rise in the world, and were cherishing very large hopes in
16302 very small lodgings.
16303
16304
16305
16306 Chapter V
16307
16308 Showing That Tom Had Opened the Oyster
16309
16310
16311 "And now we've settled this Newcastle business, Tom," said Mr. Deane,
16312 that same afternoon, as they were seated in the private room at the
16313 Bank together, "there's another matter I want to talk to you about.
16314 Since you're likely to have rather a smoky, unpleasant time of it at
16315 Newcastle for the next few weeks, you'll want a good prospect of some
16316 sort to keep up your spirits."
16317
16318 Tom waited less nervously than he had done on a former occasion in
16319 this apartment, while his uncle took out his snuff-box and gratified
16320 each nostril with deliberate impartiality.
16321
16322 "You see, Tom," said Mr. Deane at last, throwing himself backward,
16323 "the world goes on at a smarter pace now than it did when I was a
16324 young fellow. Why, sir, forty years ago, when I was much such a
16325 strapping youngster as you, a man expected to pull between the shafts
16326 the best part of his life, before he got the whip in his hand. The
16327 looms went slowish, and fashions didn't alter quite so fast; I'd a
16328 best suit that lasted me six years. Everything was on a lower scale,
16329 sir,--in point of expenditure, I mean. It's this steam, you see, that
16330 has made the difference; it drives on every wheel double pace, and the
16331 wheel of fortune along with 'em, as our Mr. Stephen Guest said at the
16332 anniversary dinner (he hits these things off wonderfully, considering
16333 he's seen nothing of business). I don't find fault with the change, as
16334 some people do. Trade, sir, opens a man's eyes; and if the population
16335 is to get thicker upon the ground, as it's doing, the world must use
16336 its wits at inventions of one sort or other. I know I've done my share
16337 as an ordinary man of business. Somebody has said it's a fine thing to
16338 make two ears of corn grow where only one grew before; but, sir, it's
16339 a fine thing, too, to further the exchange of commodities, and bring
16340 the grains of corn to the mouths that are hungry. And that's our line
16341 of business; and I consider it as honorable a position as a man can
16342 hold, to be connected with it."
16343
16344 Tom knew that the affair his uncle had to speak of was not urgent; Mr.
16345 Deane was too shrewd and practical a man to allow either his
16346 reminiscences or his snuff to impede the progress of trade. Indeed,
16347 for the last month or two, there had been hints thrown out to Tom
16348 which enabled him to guess that he was going to hear some proposition
16349 for his own benefit. With the beginning of the last speech he had
16350 stretched out his legs, thrust his hands in his pockets, and prepared
16351 himself for some introductory diffuseness, tending to show that Mr.
16352 Deane had succeeded by his own merit, and that what he had to say to
16353 young men in general was, that if they didn't succeed too it was
16354 because of their own demerit. He was rather surprised, then, when his
16355 uncle put a direct question to him.
16356
16357 "Let me see,--it's going on for seven years now since you applied to
16358 me for a situation, eh, Tom?"
16359
16360 "Yes, sir; I'm three-and-twenty now," said Tom.
16361
16362 "Ah, it's as well not to say that, though; for you'd pass for a good
16363 deal older, and age tells well in business. I remember your coming
16364 very well; I remember I saw there was some pluck in you, and that was
16365 what made me give you encouragement. And I'm happy to say I was right;
16366 I'm not often deceived. I was naturally a little shy at pushing my
16367 nephew, but I'm happy to say you've done me credit, sir; and if I'd
16368 had a son o' my own, I shouldn't have been sorry to see him like you."
16369
16370 Mr. Deane tapped his box and opened it again, repeating in a tone of
16371 some feeling, "No, I shouldn't have been sorry to see him like you."
16372
16373 "I'm very glad I've given you satisfaction, sir; I've done my best,"
16374 said Tom, in his proud, independent way.
16375
16376 "Yes, Tom, you've given me satisfaction. I don't speak of your conduct
16377 as a son; though that weighs with me in my opinion of you. But what I
16378 have to do with, as a partner in our firm, is the qualities you've
16379 shown as a man o' business. Ours is a fine business,--a splendid
16380 concern, sir,--and there's no reason why it shouldn't go on growing;
16381 there's a growing capital, and growing outlets for it; but there's
16382 another thing that's wanted for the prosperity of every concern, large
16383 or small, and that's men to conduct it,--men of the right habits; none
16384 o' your flashy fellows, but such as are to be depended on. Now this is
16385 what Mr. Guest and I see clear enough. Three years ago we took Gell
16386 into the concern; we gave him a share in the oil-mill. And why? Why,
16387 because Gell was a fellow whose services were worth a premium. So it
16388 will always be, sir. So it was with me. And though Gell is pretty near
16389 ten years older than you, there are other points in your favor."
16390
16391 Tom was getting a little nervous as Mr. Deane went on speaking; he was
16392 conscious of something he had in his mind to say, which might not be
16393 agreeable to his uncle, simply because it was a new suggestion rather
16394 than an acceptance of the proposition he foresaw.
16395
16396 "It stands to reason," Mr. Deane went on, when he had finished his new
16397 pinch, "that your being my nephew weighs in your favor; but I don't
16398 deny that if you'd been no relation of mine at all, your conduct in
16399 that affair of Pelley's bank would have led Mr. Guest and myself to
16400 make some acknowledgment of the service you've been to us; and, backed
16401 by your general conduct and business ability, it has made us determine
16402 on giving you a share in the business,--a share which we shall be glad
16403 to increase as the years go on. We think that'll be better, on all
16404 grounds, than raising your salary. It'll give you more importance, and
16405 prepare you better for taking some of the anxiety off my shoulders by
16406 and by. I'm equal to a good deal o' work at present, thank God; but
16407 I'm getting older,--there's no denying that. I told Mr. Guest I would
16408 open the subject to you; and when you come back from this northern
16409 business, we can go into particulars. This is a great stride for a
16410 young fellow of three-and-twenty, but I'm bound to say you've deserved
16411 it."
16412
16413 "I'm very grateful to Mr. Guest and you, sir; of course I feel the
16414 most indebted to _you_, who first took me into the business, and have
16415 taken a good deal of pains with me since."
16416
16417 Tom spoke with a slight tremor, and paused after he had said this.
16418
16419 "Yes, yes," said Mr. Deane. "I don't spare pains when I see they'll be
16420 of any use. I gave myself some trouble with Gell, else he wouldn't
16421 have been what he is."
16422
16423 "But there's one thing I should like to mention to you uncle. I've
16424 never spoken to you of it before. If you remember, at the time my
16425 father's property was sold, there was some thought of your firm buying
16426 the Mill; I know you thought it would be a very good investment,
16427 especially if steam were applied."
16428
16429 "To be sure, to be sure. But Wakem outbid us; he'd made up his mind to
16430 that. He's rather fond of carrying everything over other people's
16431 heads."
16432
16433 "Perhaps it's of no use my mentioning it at present," Tom went on,
16434 "but I wish you to know what I have in my mind about the Mill. I've a
16435 strong feeling about it. It was my father's dying wish that I should
16436 try and get it back again whenever I could; it was in his family for
16437 five generations. I promised my father; and besides that, I'm attached
16438 to the place. I shall never like any other so well. And if it should
16439 ever suit your views to buy it for the firm, I should have a better
16440 chance of fulfilling my father's wish. I shouldn't have liked to
16441 mention the thing to you, only you've been kind enough to say my
16442 services have been of some value. And I'd give up a much greater
16443 chance in life for the sake of having the Mill again,--I mean having
16444 it in my own hands, and gradually working off the price."
16445
16446 Mr. Deane had listened attentively, and now looked thoughtful.
16447
16448 "I see, I see," he said, after a while; "the thing would be possible
16449 if there were any chance of Wakem's parting with the property. But
16450 that I _don't_ see. He's put that young Jetsome in the place; and he
16451 had his reasons when he bought it, I'll be bound."
16452
16453 "He's a loose fish, that young Jetsome," said Tom. "He's taking to
16454 drinking, and they say he's letting the business go down. Luke told me
16455 about it,--our old miller. He says he sha'n't stay unless there's an
16456 alteration. I was thinking, if things went on that way, Wakem might be
16457 more willing to part with the Mill. Luke says he's getting very sour
16458 about the way things are going on."
16459
16460 "Well, I'll turn it over, Tom. I must inquire into the matter, and go
16461 into it with Mr. Guest. But, you see, it's rather striking out a new
16462 branch, and putting you to that, instead of keeping you where you are,
16463 which was what we'd wanted."
16464
16465 "I should be able to manage more than the Mill when things were once
16466 set properly going, sir. I want to have plenty of work. There's
16467 nothing else I care about much."
16468
16469 There was something rather sad in that speech from a young man of
16470 three-and-twenty, even in uncle Deane's business-loving ears.
16471
16472 "Pooh, pooh! you'll be having a wife to care about one of these days,
16473 if you get on at this pace in the world. But as to this Mill, we
16474 mustn't reckon on our chickens too early. However, I promise you to
16475 bear it in mind, and when you come back we'll talk of it again. I am
16476 going to dinner now. Come and breakfast with us to-morrow morning, and
16477 say good-bye to your mother and sister before you start."
16478
16479
16480
16481 Chapter VI
16482
16483 Illustrating the Laws of Attraction
16484
16485 It is evident to you now that Maggie had arrived at a moment in her
16486 life which must be considered by all prudent persons as a great
16487 opportunity for a young woman. Launched into the higher society of St.
16488 Ogg's, with a striking person, which had the advantage of being quite
16489 unfamiliar to the majority of beholders, and with such moderate
16490 assistance of costume as you have seen foreshadowed in Lucy's anxious
16491 colloquy with aunt Pullet, Maggie was certainly at a new
16492 starting-point in life. At Lucy's first evening party, young Torry
16493 fatigued his facial muscles more than usual in order that "the
16494 dark-eyed girl there in the corner" might see him in all the
16495 additional style conferred by his eyeglass; and several young ladies
16496 went home intending to have short sleeves with black lace, and to
16497 plait their hair in a broad coronet at the back of their head,--"That
16498 cousin of Miss Deane's looked so very well." In fact, poor Maggie,
16499 with all her inward consciousness of a painful past and her
16500 presentiment of a troublous future, was on the way to become an object
16501 of some envy,--a topic of discussion in the newly established
16502 billiard-room, and between fair friends who had no secrets from each
16503 other on the subject of trimmings. The Miss Guests, who associated
16504 chiefly on terms of condescension with the families of St. Ogg's, and
16505 were the glass of fashion there, took some exception to Maggie's
16506 manners. She had a way of not assenting at once to the observations
16507 current in good society, and of saying that she didn't know whether
16508 those observations were true or not, which gave her an air of
16509 _gaucherie_, and impeded the even flow of conversation; but it is a
16510 fact capable of an amiable interpretation that ladies are not the
16511 worst disposed toward a new acquaintance of their own sex because she
16512 has points of inferiority. And Maggie was so entirely without those
16513 pretty airs of coquetry which have the traditional reputation of
16514 driving gentlemen to despair that she won some feminine pity for being
16515 so ineffective in spite of her beauty. She had not had many
16516 advantages, poor thing! and it must be admitted there was no
16517 pretension about her; her abruptness and unevenness of manner were
16518 plainly the result of her secluded and lowly circumstances. It was
16519 only a wonder that there was no tinge of vulgarity about her,
16520 considering what the rest of poor Lucy's relations were--an allusion
16521 which always made the Miss Guests shudder a little. It was not
16522 agreeable to think of any connection by marriage with such people as
16523 the Gleggs and the Pullets; but it was of no use to contradict Stephen
16524 when once he had set his mind on anything, and certainly there was no
16525 possible objection to Lucy in herself,--no one could help liking her.
16526 She would naturally desire that the Miss Guests should behave kindly
16527 to this cousin of whom she was so fond, and Stephen would make a great
16528 fuss if they were deficient in civility. Under these circumstances the
16529 invitations to Park House were not wanting; and elsewhere, also, Miss
16530 Deane was too popular and too distinguished a member of society in St.
16531 Ogg's for any attention toward her to be neglected.
16532
16533 Thus Maggie was introduced for the first time to the young lady's
16534 life, and knew what it was to get up in the morning without any
16535 imperative reason for doing one thing more than another. This new
16536 sense of leisure and unchecked enjoyment amidst the soft-breathing
16537 airs and garden-scents of advancing spring--amidst the new abundance
16538 of music, and lingering strolls in the sunshine, and the delicious
16539 dreaminess of gliding on the river--could hardly be without some
16540 intoxicating effect on her, after her years of privation; and even in
16541 the first week Maggie began to be less haunted by her sad memories and
16542 anticipations. Life was certainly very pleasant just now; it was
16543 becoming very pleasant to dress in the evening, and to feel that she
16544 was one of the beautiful things of this spring-time. And there were
16545 admiring eyes always awaiting her now; she was no longer an unheeded
16546 person, liable to be chid, from whom attention was continually
16547 claimed, and on whom no one felt bound to confer any. It was pleasant,
16548 too, when Stephen and Lucy were gone out riding, to sit down at the
16549 piano alone, and find that the old fitness between her fingers and the
16550 keys remained, and revived, like a sympathetic kinship not to be worn
16551 out by separation; to get the tunes she had heard the evening before,
16552 and repeat them again and again until she had found out a way of
16553 producing them so as to make them a more pregnant, passionate language
16554 to her. The mere concord of octaves was a delight to Maggie, and she
16555 would often take up a book of studies rather than any melody, that she
16556 might taste more keenly by abstraction the more primitive sensation of
16557 intervals. Not that her enjoyment of music was of the kind that
16558 indicates a great specific talent; it was rather that her sensibility
16559 to the supreme excitement of music was only one form of that
16560 passionate sensibility which belonged to her whole nature, and made
16561 her faults and virtues all merge in each other; made her affections
16562 sometimes an impatient demand, but also prevented her vanity from
16563 taking the form of mere feminine coquetry and device, and gave it the
16564 poetry of ambition. But you have known Maggie a long while, and need
16565 to be told, not her characteristics, but her history, which is a thing
16566 hardly to be predicted even from the completest knowledge of
16567 characteristics. For the tragedy of our lives is not created entirely
16568 from within. "Character," says Novalis, in one of his questionable
16569 aphorisms,--"character is destiny." But not the whole of our destiny.
16570 Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, was speculative and irresolute, and we have
16571 a great tragedy in consequence. But if his father had lived to a good
16572 old age, and his uncle had died an early death, we can conceive
16573 Hamlet's having married Ophelia, and got through life with a
16574 reputation of sanity, notwithstanding many soliloquies, and some moody
16575 sarcasms toward the fair daughter of Polonius, to say nothing of the
16576 frankest incivility to his father-in-law.
16577
16578 Maggie's destiny, then, is at present hidden, and we must wait for it
16579 to reveal itself like the course of an unmapped river; we only know
16580 that the river is full and rapid, and that for all rivers there is the
16581 same final home. Under the charm of her new pleasures, Maggie herself
16582 was ceasing to think, with her eager prefiguring imagination, of her
16583 future lot; and her anxiety about her first interview with Philip was
16584 losing its predominance; perhaps, unconsciously to herself, she was
16585 not sorry that the interview had been deferred.
16586
16587 For Philip had not come the evening he was expected, and Mr. Stephen
16588 Guest brought word that he was gone to the coast,--probably, he
16589 thought, on a sketching expedition; but it was not certain when he
16590 would return. It was just like Philip, to go off in that way without
16591 telling any one. It was not until the twelfth day that he returned, to
16592 find both Lucy's notes awaiting him; he had left before he knew of
16593 Maggie's arrival.
16594
16595 Perhaps one had need be nineteen again to be quite convinced of the
16596 feelings that were crowded for Maggie into those twelve days; of the
16597 length to which they were stretched for her by the novelty of her
16598 experience in them, and the varying attitudes of her mind. The early
16599 days of an acquaintance almost always have this importance for us, and
16600 fill up a larger space in our memory than longer subsequent periods,
16601 which have been less filled with discovery and new impressions. There
16602 were not many hours in those ten days in which Mr. Stephen Guest was
16603 not seated by Lucy's side, or standing near her at the piano, or
16604 accompanying her on some outdoor excursion; his attentions were
16605 clearly becoming more assiduous, and that was what every one had
16606 expected. Lucy was very happy, all the happier because Stephen's
16607 society seemed to have become much more interesting and amusing since
16608 Maggie had been there. Playful discussions--sometimes serious
16609 ones--were going forward, in which both Stephen and Maggie revealed
16610 themselves, to the admiration of the gentle, unobtrusive Lucy; and it
16611 more than once crossed her mind what a charming quartet they should
16612 have through life when Maggie married Philip. Is it an inexplicable
16613 thing that a girl should enjoy her lover's society the more for the
16614 presence of a third person, and be without the slightest spasm of
16615 jealousy that the third person had the conversation habitually
16616 directed to her? Not when that girl is as tranquil-hearted as Lucy,
16617 thoroughly possessed with a belief that she knows the state of her
16618 companions' affections, and not prone to the feelings which shake such
16619 a belief in the absence of positive evidence against it. Besides, it
16620 was Lucy by whom Stephen sat, to whom he gave his arm, to whom he
16621 appealed as the person sure to agree with him; and every day there was
16622 the same tender politeness toward her, the same consciousness of her
16623 wants and care to supply them. Was there really the same? It seemed to
16624 Lucy that there was more; and it was no wonder that the real
16625 significance of the change escaped her. It was a subtle act of
16626 conscience in Stephen that even he himself was not aware of. His
16627 personal attentions to Maggie were comparatively slight, and there had
16628 even sprung up an apparent distance between them, that prevented the
16629 renewal of that faint resemblance to gallantry into which he had
16630 fallen the first day in the boat. If Stephen came in when Lucy was out
16631 of the room, if Lucy left them together, they never spoke to each
16632 other; Stephen, perhaps, seemed to be examining books or music, and
16633 Maggie bent her head assiduously over her work. Each was oppressively
16634 conscious of the other's presence, even to the finger-ends. Yet each
16635 looked and longed for the same thing to happen the next day. Neither
16636 of them had begun to reflect on the matter, or silently to ask, "To
16637 what does all this tend?" Maggie only felt that life was revealing
16638 something quite new to her; and she was absorbed in the direct,
16639 immediate experience, without any energy left for taking account of it
16640 and reasoning about it. Stephen wilfully abstained from
16641 self-questioning, and would not admit to himself that he felt an
16642 influence which was to have any determining effect on his conduct. And
16643 when Lucy came into the room again, they were once more unconstrained;
16644 Maggie could contradict Stephen, and laugh at him, and he could
16645 recommend to her consideration the example of that most charming
16646 heroine, Miss Sophia Western, who had a great "respect for the
16647 understandings of men." Maggie could look at Stephen, which, for some
16648 reason or other she always avoided when they were alone; and he could
16649 even ask her to play his accompaniment for him, since Lucy's fingers
16650 were so busy with that bazaar-work, and lecture her on hurrying the
16651 tempo, which was certainly Maggie's weak point.
16652
16653 One day--it was the day of Philip's return--Lucy had formed a sudden
16654 engagement to spend the evening with Mrs. Kenn, whose delicate state
16655 of health, threatening to become confirmed illness through an attack
16656 of bronchitis, obliged her to resign her functions at the coming
16657 bazaar into the hands of other ladies, of whom she wished Lucy to be
16658 one. The engagement had been formed in Stephen's presence, and he had
16659 heard Lucy promise to dine early and call at six o'clock for Miss
16660 Torry, who brought Mrs. Kenn's request.
16661
16662 "Here is another of the moral results of this idiotic bazaar," Stephen
16663 burst forth, as soon as Miss Torry had left the room,--"taking young
16664 ladies from the duties of the domestic hearth into scenes of
16665 dissipation among urn-rugs and embroidered reticules! I should like to
16666 know what is the proper function of women, if it is not to make
16667 reasons for husbands to stay at home, and still stronger reasons for
16668 bachelors to go out. If this goes on much longer, the bonds of society
16669 will be dissolved."
16670
16671 "Well, it will not go on much longer," said Lucy, laughing, "for the
16672 bazaar is to take place on Monday week."
16673
16674 "Thank Heaven!" said Stephen. "Kenn himself said the other day that he
16675 didn't like this plan of making vanity do the work of charity; but
16676 just as the British public is not reasonable enough to bear direct
16677 taxation, so St. Ogg's has not got force of motive enough to build and
16678 endow schools without calling in the force of folly."
16679
16680 "Did he say so?" said little Lucy, her hazel eyes opening wide with
16681 anxiety. "I never heard him say anything of that kind; I thought he
16682 approved of what we were doing."
16683
16684 "I'm sure he approves _you_," said Stephen, smiling at her
16685 affectionately; "your conduct in going out to-night looks vicious, I
16686 own, but I know there is benevolence at the bottom of it."
16687
16688 "Oh, you think too well of me," said Lucy, shaking her head, with a
16689 pretty blush, and there the subject ended. But it was tacitly
16690 understood that Stephen would not come in the evening; and on the
16691 strength of that tacit understanding he made his morning visit the
16692 longer, not saying good-bye until after four.
16693
16694 Maggie was seated in the drawing-room, alone, shortly after dinner,
16695 with Minny on her lap, having left her uncle to his wine and his nap,
16696 and her mother to the compromise between knitting and nodding, which,
16697 when there was no company, she always carried on in the dining-room
16698 till tea-time. Maggie was stooping to caress the tiny silken pet, and
16699 comforting him for his mistress's absence, when the sound of a
16700 footstep on the gravel made her look up, and she saw Mr. Stephen Guest
16701 walking up the garden, as if he had come straight from the river. It
16702 was very unusual to see him so soon after dinner! He often complained
16703 that their dinner-hour was late at Park House. Nevertheless, there he
16704 was, in his black dress; he had evidently been home, and must have
16705 come again by the river. Maggie felt her cheeks glowing and her heart
16706 beating; it was natural she should be nervous, for she was not
16707 accustomed to receive visitors alone. He had seen her look up through
16708 the open window, and raised his hat as he walked toward it, to enter
16709 that way instead of by the door. He blushed too, and certainly looked
16710 as foolish as a young man of some wit and self-possession can be
16711 expected to look, as he walked in with a roll of music in his hand,
16712 and said, with an air of hesitating improvisation,--
16713
16714 "You are surprised to see me again, Miss Tulliver; I ought to
16715 apologize for coming upon you by surprise, but I wanted to come into
16716 the town, and I got our man to row me; so I thought I would bring
16717 these things from the 'Maid of Artois' for your cousin; I forgot them
16718 this morning. Will you give them to her?"
16719
16720 "Yes," said Maggie, who had risen confusedly with Minny in her arms,
16721 and now, not quite knowing what else to do, sat down again.
16722
16723 Stephen laid down his hat, with the music, which rolled on the floor,
16724 and sat down in the chair close by her. He had never done so before,
16725 and both he and Maggie were quite aware that it was an entirely new
16726 position.
16727
16728 "Well, you pampered minion!" said Stephen, leaning to pull the long
16729 curly ears that drooped over Maggie's arm. It was not a suggestive
16730 remark, and as the speaker did not follow it up by further
16731 development, it naturally left the conversation at a standstill. It
16732 seemed to Stephen like some action in a dream that he was obliged to
16733 do, and wonder at himself all the while,--to go on stroking Minny's
16734 head. Yet it was very pleasant; he only wished he dared look at
16735 Maggie, and that she would look at him,--let him have one long look
16736 into those deep, strange eyes of hers, and then he would be satisfied
16737 and quite reasonable after that. He thought it was becoming a sort of
16738 monomania with him, to want that long look from Maggie; and he was
16739 racking his invention continually to find out some means by which he
16740 could have it without its appearing singular and entailing subsequent
16741 embarrassment. As for Maggie, she had no distinct thought, only the
16742 sense of a presence like that of a closely hovering broad-winged bird
16743 in the darkness, for she was unable to look up, and saw nothing but
16744 Minny's black wavy coat.
16745
16746 But this must end some time, perhaps it ended very soon, and only
16747 _seemed_ long, as a minute's dream does. Stephen at last sat upright
16748 sideways in his chair, leaning one hand and arm over the back and
16749 looking at Maggie. What should he say?
16750
16751 "We shall have a splendid sunset, I think; sha'n't you go out and see
16752 it?"
16753
16754 "I don't know," said Maggie. Then courageously raising her eyes and
16755 looking out of the window, "if I'm not playing cribbage with my
16756 uncle."
16757
16758 A pause; during which Minny is stroked again, but has sufficient
16759 insight not to be grateful for it, to growl rather.
16760
16761 "Do you like sitting alone?"
16762
16763 A rather arch look came over Maggie's face, and, just glancing at
16764 Stephen, she said, "Would it be quite civil to say 'yes'?"
16765
16766 "It _was_ rather a dangerous question for an intruder to ask," said
16767 Stephen, delighted with that glance, and getting determined to stay
16768 for another. "But you will have more than half an hour to yourself
16769 after I am gone," he added, taking out his watch. "I know Mr. Deane
16770 never comes in till half-past seven."
16771
16772 Another pause, during which Maggie looked steadily out of the window,
16773 till by a great effort she moved her head to look down at Minny's back
16774 again, and said,--
16775
16776 "I wish Lucy had not been obliged to go out. We lose our music."
16777
16778 "We shall have a new voice to-morrow night," said Stephen. "Will you
16779 tell your cousin that our friend Philip Wakem is come back? I saw him
16780 as I went home."
16781
16782 Maggie gave a little start,--it seemed hardly more than a vibration
16783 that passed from head to foot in an instant. But the new images
16784 summoned by Philip's name dispersed half the oppressive spell she had
16785 been under. She rose from her chair with a sudden resolution, and
16786 laying Minny on his cushion, went to reach Lucy's large work-basket
16787 from its corner. Stephen was vexed and disappointed; he thought
16788 perhaps Maggie didn't like the name of Wakem to be mentioned to her in
16789 that abrupt way, for he now recalled what Lucy had told him of the
16790 family quarrel. It was of no use to stay any longer. Maggie was
16791 seating herself at the table with her work, and looking chill and
16792 proud; and he--he looked like a simpleton for having come. A
16793 gratuitous, entirely superfluous visit of that sort was sure to make a
16794 man disagreeable and ridiculous. Of course it was palpable to Maggie's
16795 thinking that he had dined hastily in his own room for the sake of
16796 setting off again and finding her alone.
16797
16798 A boyish state of mind for an accomplished young gentleman of
16799 five-and-twenty, not without legal knowledge! But a reference to
16800 history, perhaps, may make it not incredible.
16801
16802 At this moment Maggie's ball of knitting-wool rolled along the ground,
16803 and she started up to reach it. Stephen rose too, and picking up the
16804 ball, met her with a vexed, complaining look that gave his eyes quite
16805 a new expression to Maggie, whose own eyes met them as he presented
16806 the ball to her.
16807
16808 "Good-bye," said Stephen, in a tone that had the same beseeching
16809 discontent as his eyes. He dared not put out his hand; he thrust both
16810 hands into his tail-pockets as he spoke. Maggie thought she had
16811 perhaps been rude.
16812
16813 "Won't you stay?" she said timidly, not looking away, for that would
16814 have seemed rude again.
16815
16816 "No, thank you," said Stephen, looking still into the half-unwilling,
16817 half-fascinated eyes, as a thirsty man looks toward the track of the
16818 distant brook. "The boat is waiting for me. You'll tell your cousin?"
16819
16820 "Yes."
16821
16822 "That I brought the music, I mean?"
16823
16824 "Yes."
16825
16826 "And that Philip is come back?"
16827
16828 "Yes." (Maggie did not notice Philip's name this time.)
16829
16830 "Won't you come out a little way into the garden?" said Stephen, in a
16831 still gentler tone; but the next moment he was vexed that she did not
16832 say "No," for she moved away now toward the open window, and he was
16833 obliged to take his hat and walk by her side. But he thought of
16834 something to make him amends.
16835
16836 "Do take my arm," he said, in a low tone, as if it were a secret.
16837
16838 There is something strangely winning to most women in that offer of
16839 the firm arm; the help is not wanted physically at that moment, but
16840 the sense of help, the presence of strength that is outside them and
16841 yet theirs, meets a continual want of the imagination. Either on that
16842 ground or some other, Maggie took the arm. And they walked together
16843 round the grassplot and under the drooping green of the laburnums, in
16844 the same dim, dreamy state as they had been in a quarter of an hour
16845 before; only that Stephen had had the look he longed for, without yet
16846 perceiving in himself the symptoms of returning reasonableness, and
16847 Maggie had darting thoughts across the dimness,--how came he to be
16848 there? Why had she come out? Not a word was spoken. If it had been,
16849 each would have been less intensely conscious of the other.
16850
16851 "Take care of this step," said Stephen at last.
16852
16853 "Oh, I will go in now," said Maggie, feeling that the step had come
16854 like a rescue. "Good-evening."
16855
16856 In an instant she had withdrawn her arm, and was running back to the
16857 house. She did not reflect that this sudden action would only add to
16858 the embarrassing recollections of the last half-hour. She had no
16859 thought left for that. She only threw herself into the low arm-chair,
16860 and burst into tears.
16861
16862 "Oh, Philip, Philip, I wish we were together again--so quietly--in the
16863 Red Deeps."
16864
16865 Stephen looked after her a moment, then went on to the boat, and was
16866 soon landed at the wharf. He spent the evening in the billiard-room,
16867 smoking one cigar after another, and losing "lives" at pool. But he
16868 would not leave off. He was determined not to think,--not to admit any
16869 more distinct remembrance than was urged upon him by the perpetual
16870 presence of Maggie. He was looking at her, and she was on his arm.
16871
16872 But there came the necessity of walking home in the cool starlight,
16873 and with it the necessity of cursing his own folly, and bitterly
16874 determining that he would never trust himself alone with Maggie again.
16875 It was all madness; he was in love, thoroughly attached to Lucy, and
16876 engaged,--engaged as strongly as an honorable man need be. He wished
16877 he had never seen this Maggie Tulliver, to be thrown into a fever by
16878 her in this way; she would make a sweet, strange, troublesome,
16879 adorable wife to some man or other, but he would never have chosen her
16880 himself. Did she feel as he did? He hoped she did--not. He ought not
16881 to have gone. He would master himself in future. He would make himself
16882 disagreeable to her, quarrel with her perhaps. Quarrel with her? Was
16883 it possible to quarrel with a creature who had such eyes,--defying and
16884 deprecating, contradicting and clinging, imperious and beseeching,--
16885 full of delicious opposites? To see such a creature subdued by love
16886 for one would be a lot worth having--to another man.
16887
16888 There was a muttered exclamation which ended this inward soliloquy, as
16889 Stephen threw away the end of his last cigar, and thrusting his hands
16890 into his pockets, stalked along at a quieter pace through the
16891 shrubbery. It was not of a benedictory kind.
16892
16893
16894
16895 Chapter VII
16896
16897 Philip Re-enters
16898
16899
16900 The next morning was very wet,--the sort of morning on which male
16901 neighbors who have no imperative occupation at home are likely to pay
16902 their fair friends an illimitable visit. The rain, which has been
16903 endurable enough for the walk or ride one way, is sure to become so
16904 heavy, and at the same time so certain to clear up by and by, that
16905 nothing but an open quarrel can abbreviate the visit; latent
16906 detestation will not do at all. And if people happen to be lovers,
16907 what can be so delightful, in England, as a rainy morning? English
16908 sunshine is dubious; bonnets are never quite secure; and if you sit
16909 down on the grass, it may lead to catarrhs. But the rain is to be
16910 depended on. You gallop through it in a mackintosh, and presently find
16911 yourself in the seat you like best,--a little above or a little below
16912 the one on which your goddess sits (it is the same thing to the
16913 metaphysical mind, and that is the reason why women are at once
16914 worshipped and looked down upon), with a satisfactory confidence that
16915 there will be no lady-callers.
16916
16917 "Stephen will come earlier this morning, I know," said Lucy; "he
16918 always does when it's rainy."
16919
16920 Maggie made no answer. She was angry with Stephen; she began to think
16921 she should dislike him; and if it had not been for the rain, she would
16922 have gone to her aunt Glegg's this morning, and so have avoided him
16923 altogether. As it was, she must find some reason for remaining out of
16924 the room with her mother.
16925
16926 But Stephen did not come earlier, and there was another visitor--a
16927 nearer neighbor--who preceded him. When Philip entered the room, he
16928 was going merely to bow to Maggie, feeling that their acquaintance was
16929 a secret which he was bound not to betray; but when she advanced
16930 toward him and put out her hand, he guessed at once that Lucy had been
16931 taken into her confidence. It was a moment of some agitation to both,
16932 though Philip had spent many hours in preparing for it; but like all
16933 persons who have passed through life with little expectation of
16934 sympathy, he seldom lost his self-control, and shrank with the most
16935 sensitive pride from any noticeable betrayal of emotion. A little
16936 extra paleness, a little tension of the nostril when he spoke, and the
16937 voice pitched in rather a higher key, that to strangers would seem
16938 expressive of cold indifference, were all the signs Philip usually
16939 gave of an inward drama that was not without its fierceness. But
16940 Maggie, who had little more power of concealing the impressions made
16941 upon her than if she had been constructed of musical strings, felt her
16942 eyes getting larger with tears as they took each other's hands in
16943 silence. They were not painful tears; they had rather something of the
16944 same origin as the tears women and children shed when they have found
16945 some protection to cling to and look back on the threatened danger.
16946 For Philip, who a little while ago was associated continually in
16947 Maggie's mind with the sense that Tom might reproach her with some
16948 justice, had now, in this short space, become a sort of outward
16949 conscience to her, that she might fly to for rescue and strength. Her
16950 tranquil, tender affection for Philip, with its root deep down in her
16951 childhood, and its memories of long quiet talk confirming by distinct
16952 successive impressions the first instinctive bias,--the fact that in
16953 him the appeal was more strongly to her pity and womanly devotedness
16954 than to her vanity or other egoistic excitability of her
16955 nature,--seemed now to make a sort of sacred place, a sanctuary where
16956 she could find refuge from an alluring influence which the best part
16957 of herself must resist; which must bring horrible tumult within,
16958 wretchedness without. This new sense of her relation to Philip
16959 nullified the anxious scruples she would otherwise have felt, lest she
16960 should overstep the limit of intercourse with him that Tom would
16961 sanction; and she put out her hand to him, and felt the tears in her
16962 eyes without any consciousness of an inward check. The scene was just
16963 what Lucy expected, and her kind heart delighted in bringing Philip
16964 and Maggie together again; though, even with all _her_ regard for
16965 Philip, she could not resist the impression that her cousin Tom had
16966 some excuse for feeling shocked at the physical incongruity between
16967 the two,--a prosaic person like cousin Tom, who didn't like poetry and
16968 fairy tales. But she began to speak as soon as possible, to set them
16969 at ease.
16970
16971 "This was very good and virtuous of you," she said, in her pretty
16972 treble, like the low conversational notes of little birds, "to come so
16973 soon after your arrival. And as it is, I think I will pardon you for
16974 running away in an inopportune manner, and giving your friends no
16975 notice. Come and sit down here," she went on, placing the chair that
16976 would suit him best, "and you shall find yourself treated mercifully."
16977
16978 "You will never govern well, Miss Deane," said Philip, as he seated
16979 himself, "because no one will ever believe in your severity. People
16980 will always encourage themselves in misdemeanors by the certainty that
16981 you will be indulgent."
16982
16983 Lucy gave some playful contradiction, but Philip did not hear what it
16984 was, for he had naturally turned toward Maggie, and she was looking at
16985 him with that open, affectionate scrutiny which we give to a friend
16986 from whom we have been long separated. What a moment their parting had
16987 been! And Philip felt as if he were only in the morrow of it. He felt
16988 this so keenly,--with such intense, detailed remembrance, with such
16989 passionate revival of all that had been said and looked in their last
16990 conversation,--that with that jealousy and distrust which in diffident
16991 natures is almost inevitably linked with a strong feeling, he thought
16992 he read in Maggie's glance and manner the evidence of a change. The
16993 very fact that he feared and half expected it would be sure to make
16994 this thought rush in, in the absence of positive proof to the
16995 contrary.
16996
16997 "I am having a great holiday, am I not?" said Maggie. "Lucy is like a
16998 fairy godmother; she has turned me from a drudge into a princess in no
16999 time. I do nothing but indulge myself all day long, and she always
17000 finds out what I want before I know it myself."
17001
17002 "I am sure she is the happier for having you, then," said Philip. "You
17003 must be better than a whole menagerie of pets to her. And you look
17004 well. You are benefiting by the change."
17005
17006 Artificial conversation of this sort went on a little while, till
17007 Lucy, determined to put an end to it, exclaimed, with a good imitation
17008 of annoyance, that she had forgotten something, and was quickly out of
17009 the room.
17010
17011 In a moment Maggie and Philip leaned forward, and the hands were
17012 clasped again, with a look of sad contentment, like that of friends
17013 who meet in the memory of recent sorrow.
17014
17015 "I told my brother I wished to see you, Philip; I asked him to release
17016 me from my promise, and he consented."
17017
17018 Maggie, in her impulsiveness, wanted Philip to know at once the
17019 position they must hold toward each other; but she checked herself.
17020 The things that had happened since he had spoken of his love for her
17021 were so painful that she shrank from being the first to allude to them.
17022 It seemed almost like an injury toward Philip even to mention her
17023 brother,--her brother, who had insulted him. But he was thinking too
17024 entirely of her to be sensitive on any other point at that moment.
17025
17026 "Then we can at least be friends, Maggie? There is nothing to hinder
17027 that now?"
17028
17029 "Will not your father object?" said Maggie, withdrawing her hand.
17030
17031 "I should not give you up on any ground but your own wish, Maggie,"
17032 said Philip, coloring. "There are points on which I should always
17033 resist my father, as I used to tell you. _That_ is one."
17034
17035 "Then there is nothing to hinder our being friends, Philip,--seeing
17036 each other and talking to each other while I am here; I shall soon go
17037 away again. I mean to go very soon, to a new situation."
17038
17039 "Is that inevitable, Maggie?"
17040
17041 "Yes; I must not stay here long. It would unfit me for the life I must
17042 begin again at last. I can't live in dependence,--I can't live with my
17043 brother, though he is very good to me. He would like to provide for
17044 me; but that would be intolerable to me."
17045
17046 Philip was silent a few moments, and then said, in that high, feeble
17047 voice which with him indicated the resolute suppression of emotion,--
17048
17049 "Is there no other alternative, Maggie? Is that life, away from those
17050 who love you, the only one you will allow yourself to look forward
17051 to?"
17052
17053 "Yes, Philip," she said, looking at him pleadingly, as if she
17054 entreated him to believe that she was compelled to this course. "At
17055 least, as things are; I don't know what may be in years to come. But I
17056 begin to think there can never come much happiness to me from loving;
17057 I have always had so much pain mingled with it. I wish I could make
17058 myself a world outside it, as men do."
17059
17060 "Now you are returning to your old thought in a new form, Maggie,--the
17061 thought I used to combat," said Philip, with a slight tinge of
17062 bitterness. "You want to find out a mode of renunciation that will be
17063 an escape from pain. I tell you again, there is no such escape
17064 possible except by perverting or mutilating one's nature. What would
17065 become of me, if I tried to escape from pain? Scorn and cynicism would
17066 be my only opium; unless I could fall into some kind of conceited
17067 madness, and fancy myself a favorite of Heaven because I am not a
17068 favorite with men."
17069
17070 The bitterness had taken on some impetuosity as Philip went on
17071 speaking; the words were evidently an outlet for some immediate
17072 feeling of his own, as well as an answer to Maggie. There was a pain
17073 pressing on him at that moment. He shrank with proud delicacy from the
17074 faintest allusion to the words of love, of plighted love that had
17075 passed between them. It would have seemed to him like reminding Maggie
17076 of a promise; it would have had for him something of the baseness of
17077 compulsion. He could not dwell on the fact that he himself had not
17078 changed; for that too would have had the air of an appeal. His love
17079 for Maggie was stamped, even more than the rest of his experience,
17080 with the exaggerated sense that he was an exception,--that she, that
17081 every one, saw him in the light of an exception.
17082
17083 But Maggie was conscience-stricken.
17084
17085 "Yes, Philip," she said, with her childish contrition when he used to
17086 chide her, "you are right, I know. I do always think too much of my
17087 own feelings, and not enough of others',--not enough of yours. I had
17088 need have you always to find fault with me and teach me; so many
17089 things have come true that you used to tell me."
17090
17091 Maggie was resting her elbow on the table, leaning her head on her
17092 hand and looking at Philip with half-penitent dependent affection, as
17093 she said this; while he was returning her gaze with an expression
17094 that, to her consciousness, gradually became less vague,--became
17095 charged with a specific recollection. Had his mind flown back to
17096 something that _she_ now remembered,--something about a lover of
17097 Lucy's? It was a thought that made her shudder; it gave new
17098 definiteness to her present position, and to the tendency of what had
17099 happened the evening before. She moved her arm from the table, urged
17100 to change her position by that positive physical oppression at the
17101 heart that sometimes accompanies a sudden mental pang.
17102
17103 "What is the matter, Maggie? Has something happened?" Philip said, in
17104 inexpressible anxiety, his imagination being only too ready to weave
17105 everything that was fatal to them both.
17106
17107 "No, nothing," said Maggie, rousing her latent will. Philip must not
17108 have that odious thought in his mind; she would banish it from her
17109 own. "Nothing," she repeated, "except in my own mind. You used to say
17110 I should feel the effect of my starved life, as you called it; and I
17111 do. I am too eager in my enjoyment of music and all luxuries, now they
17112 are come to me."
17113
17114 She took up her work and occupied herself resolutely, while Philip
17115 watched her, really in doubt whether she had anything more than this
17116 general allusion in her mind. It was quite in Maggie's character to be
17117 agitated by vague self-reproach. But soon there came a violent
17118 well-known ring at the door-bell resounding through the house.
17119
17120 "Oh, what a startling announcement!" said Maggie, quite mistress of
17121 herself, though not without some inward flutter. "I wonder where Lucy
17122 is."
17123
17124 Lucy had not been deaf to the signal, and after an interval long
17125 enough for a few solicitous but not hurried inquiries, she herself
17126 ushered Stephen in.
17127
17128 "Well, old fellow," he said, going straight up to Philip and shaking
17129 him heartily by the hand, bowing to Maggie in passing, "it's glorious
17130 to have you back again; only I wish you'd conduct yourself a little
17131 less like a sparrow with a residence on the house-top, and not go in
17132 and out constantly without letting the servants know. This is about
17133 the twentieth time I've had to scamper up those countless stairs to
17134 that painting-room of yours, all to no purpose, because your people
17135 thought you were at home. Such incidents embitter friendship."
17136
17137 "I've so few visitors, it seems hardly worth while to leave notice of
17138 my exit and entrances," said Philip, feeling rather oppressed just
17139 then by Stephen's bright strong presence and strong voice.
17140
17141 "Are you quite well this morning, Miss Tulliver?" said Stephen,
17142 turning to Maggie with stiff politeness, and putting out his hand with
17143 the air of fulfilling a social duty.
17144
17145 Maggie gave the tips of her fingers, and said, "Quite well, thank
17146 you," in a tone of proud indifference. Philip's eyes were watching
17147 them keenly; but Lucy was used to seeing variations in their manner to
17148 each other, and only thought with regret that there was some natural
17149 antipathy which every now and then surmounted their mutual good-will.
17150 "Maggie is not the sort of woman Stephen admires, and she is irritated
17151 by something in him which she interprets as conceit," was the silent
17152 observation that accounted for everything to guileless Lucy. Stephen
17153 and Maggie had no sooner completed this studied greeting than each
17154 felt hurt by the other's coldness. And Stephen, while rattling on in
17155 questions to Philip about his recent sketching expedition, was
17156 thinking all the more about Maggie because he was not drawing her into
17157 the conversation as he had invariably done before. "Maggie and Philip
17158 are not looking happy," thought Lucy; "this first interview has been
17159 saddening to them."
17160
17161 "I think we people who have not been galloping," she said to Stephen,
17162 "are all a little damped by the rain. Let us have some music. We ought
17163 to take advantage of having Philip and you together. Give us the duet
17164 in 'Masaniello'; Maggie has not heard that, and I know it will suit
17165 her."
17166
17167 "Come, then," said Stephen, going toward the piano, and giving a
17168 foretaste of the tune in his deep "brum-brum," very pleasant to hear.
17169
17170 "You, please, Philip,--you play the accompaniment," said Lucy, "and
17171 then I can go on with my work. You _will_ like to play, sha'n't you?"
17172 she added, with a pretty, inquiring look, anxious, as usual, lest she
17173 should have proposed what was not pleasant to another; but with
17174 yearnings toward her unfinished embroidery.
17175
17176 Philip had brightened at the proposition, for there is no feeling,
17177 perhaps, except the extremes of fear and grief, that does not find
17178 relief in music,--that does not make a man sing or play the better;
17179 and Philip had an abundance of pent-up feeling at this moment, as
17180 complex as any trio or quartet that was ever meant to express love and
17181 jealousy and resignation and fierce suspicion, all at the same time.
17182
17183 "Oh, yes," he said, seating himself at the piano, "it is a way of
17184 eking out one's imperfect life and being three people at once,--to
17185 sing and make the piano sing, and hear them both all the while,--or
17186 else to sing and paint."
17187
17188 "Ah, there you are an enviable fellow. I can do nothing with my
17189 hands," said Stephen. "That has generally been observed in men of
17190 great administrative capacity, I believe,--a tendency to predominance
17191 of the reflective powers in me! Haven't you observed that, Miss
17192 Tulliver?"
17193
17194 Stephen had fallen by mistake into his habit of playful appeal to
17195 Maggie, and she could not repress the answering flush and epigram.
17196
17197 "I _have_ observed a tendency to predominance," she said, smiling; and
17198 Philip at that moment devoutly hoped that she found the tendency
17199 disagreeable.
17200
17201 "Come, come," said Lucy; "music, music! We will discuss each other's
17202 qualities another time."
17203
17204 Maggie always tried in vain to go on with her work when music began.
17205 She tried harder than ever to-day; for the thought that Stephen knew
17206 how much she cared for his singing was one that no longer roused a
17207 merely playful resistance; and she knew, too, that it was his habit
17208 always to stand so that he could look at her. But it was of no use;
17209 she soon threw her work down, and all her intentions were lost in the
17210 vague state of emotion produced by the inspiring duet,--emotion that
17211 seemed to make her at once strong and weak; strong for all enjoyment,
17212 weak for all resistance. When the strain passed into the minor, she
17213 half started from her seat with the sudden thrill of that change. Poor
17214 Maggie! She looked very beautiful when her soul was being played on in
17215 this way by the inexorable power of sound. You might have seen the
17216 slightest perceptible quivering through her whole frame as she leaned
17217 a little forward, clasping her hands as if to steady herself; while
17218 her eyes dilated and brightened into that wide-open, childish
17219 expression of wondering delight which always came back in her happiest
17220 moments. Lucy, who at other times had always been at the piano when
17221 Maggie was looking in this way, could not resist the impulse to steal
17222 up to her and kiss her. Philip, too, caught a glimpse of her now and
17223 then round the open book on the desk, and felt that he had never
17224 before seen her under so strong an influence.
17225
17226 "More, more!" said Lucy, when the duet had been encored. "Something
17227 spirited again. Maggie always says she likes a great rush of sound."
17228
17229 "It must be 'Let us take the road,' then," said Stephen,--"so suitable
17230 for a wet morning. But are you prepared to abandon the most sacred
17231 duties of life, and come and sing with us?"
17232
17233 "Oh, yes," said Lucy, laughing. "If you will look out the 'Beggar's
17234 Opera' from the large canterbury. It has a dingy cover."
17235
17236 "That is a great clue, considering there are about a score covers here
17237 of rival dinginess," said Stephen, drawing out the canterbury.
17238
17239 "Oh, play something the while, Philip," said Lucy, noticing that his
17240 fingers were wandering over the keys. "What is that you are falling
17241 into?--something delicious that I don't know."
17242
17243 "Don't you know that?" said Philip, bringing out the tune more
17244 definitely. "It's from the 'Sonnambula'--'Ah! perchè non posso
17245 odiarti.' I don't know the opera, but it appears the tenor is telling
17246 the heroine that he shall always love her though she may forsake him.
17247 You've heard me sing it to the English words, 'I love thee still.'"
17248
17249 It was not quite unintentionally that Philip had wandered into this
17250 song, which might be an indirect expression to Maggie of what he could
17251 not prevail on himself to say to her directly. Her ears had been open
17252 to what he was saying, and when he began to sing, she understood the
17253 plaintive passion of the music. That pleading tenor had no very fine
17254 qualities as a voice, but it was not quite new to her; it had sung to
17255 her by snatches, in a subdued way, among the grassy walks and hollows,
17256 and underneath the leaning ash-tree in the Red Deeps. There seemed to
17257 be some reproach in the words; did Philip mean that? She wished she
17258 had assured him more distinctly in their conversation that she desired
17259 not to renew the hope of love between them, _only_ because it clashed
17260 with her inevitable circumstances. She was touched, not thrilled by
17261 the song; it suggested distinct memories and thoughts, and brought
17262 quiet regret in the place of excitement.
17263
17264 "That's the way with you tenors," said Stephen, who was waiting with
17265 music in his hand while Philip finished the song. "You demoralize the
17266 fair sex by warbling your sentimental love and constancy under all
17267 sorts of vile treatment. Nothing short of having your heads served up
17268 in a dish like that mediæval tenor or troubadour, would prevent you
17269 from expressing your entire resignation. I must administer an
17270 antidote, while Miss Deane prepares to tear herself away from her
17271 bobbins."
17272
17273 Stephen rolled out, with saucy energy,--
17274
17275 "Shall I, wasting in despair,
17276 Die because a woman's fair?"
17277
17278 and seemed to make all the air in the room alive with a new influence.
17279 Lucy, always proud of what Stephen did, went toward the piano with
17280 laughing, admiring looks at him; and Maggie, in spite of her
17281 resistance to the spirit of the song and to the singer, was taken hold
17282 of and shaken by the invisible influence,--was borne along by a wave
17283 too strong for her.
17284
17285 But, angrily resolved not to betray herself, she seized her work, and
17286 went on making false stitches and pricking her fingers with much
17287 perseverance, not looking up or taking notice of what was going
17288 forward, until all the three voices united in "Let us take the road."
17289
17290 I am afraid there would have been a subtle, stealing gratification in
17291 her mind if she had known how entirely this saucy, defiant Stephen was
17292 occupied with her; how he was passing rapidly from a determination to
17293 treat her with ostentatious indifference to an irritating desire for
17294 some sign of inclination from her,--some interchange of subdued word
17295 or look with her. It was not long before he found an opportunity, when
17296 they had passed to the music of "The Tempest." Maggie, feeling the
17297 need of a footstool, was walking across the room to get one, when
17298 Stephen, who was not singing just then, and was conscious of all her
17299 movements, guessed her want, and flew to anticipate her, lifting the
17300 footstool with an entreating look at her, which made it impossible not
17301 to return a glance of gratitude. And then, to have the footstool
17302 placed carefully by a too self-confident personage,--not _any_
17303 self-confident personage, but one in particular, who suddenly looks
17304 humble and anxious, and lingers, bending still, to ask if there is not
17305 some draught in that position between the window and the fireplace,
17306 and if he may not be allowed to move the work-table for her,--these
17307 things will summon a little of the too ready, traitorous tenderness
17308 into a woman's eyes, compelled as she is in her girlish time to learn
17309 her life-lessons in very trivial language. And to Maggie such things
17310 had not been every-day incidents, but were a new element in her life,
17311 and found her keen appetite for homage quite fresh. That tone of
17312 gentle solicitude obliged her to look at the face that was bent toward
17313 her, and to say, "No, thank you"; and nothing could prevent that
17314 mutual glance from being delicious to both, as it had been the evening
17315 before.
17316
17317 It was but an ordinary act of politeness in Stephen; it had hardly
17318 taken two minutes; and Lucy, who was singing, scarcely noticed it. But
17319 to Philip's mind, filled already with a vague anxiety that was likely
17320 to find a definite ground for itself in any trivial incident, this
17321 sudden eagerness in Stephen, and the change in Maggie's face, which
17322 was plainly reflecting a beam from his, seemed so strong a contrast
17323 with the previous overwrought signs of indifference, as to be charged
17324 with painful meaning. Stephen's voice, pouring in again, jarred upon
17325 his nervous susceptibility as if it had been the clang of sheet-iron,
17326 and he felt inclined to make the piano shriek in utter discord. He had
17327 really seen no communicable ground for suspecting any ususual feeling
17328 between Stephen and Maggie; his own reason told him so, and he wanted
17329 to go home at once that he might reflect coolly on these false images,
17330 till he had convinced himself of their nullity. But then, again, he
17331 wanted to stay as long as Stephen stayed,--always to be present when
17332 Stephen was present with Maggie. It seemed to poor Philip so natural,
17333 nay, inevitable, that any man who was near Maggie should fall in love
17334 with her! There was no promise of happiness for her if she were
17335 beguiled into loving Stephen Guest; and this thought emboldened Philip
17336 to view his own love for her in the light of a less unequal offering.
17337 He was beginning to play very falsely under this deafening inward
17338 tumult, and Lucy was looking at him in astonishment, when Mrs.
17339 Tulliver's entrance to summon them to lunch came as an excuse for
17340 abruptly breaking off the music.
17341
17342 "Ah, Mr. Philip!" said Mr. Deane, when they entered the dining-room,
17343 "I've not seen you for a long while. Your father's not at home, I
17344 think, is he? I went after him to the office the other day, and they
17345 said he was out of town."
17346
17347 "He's been to Mudport on business for several days," said Philip; "but
17348 he's come back now."
17349
17350 "As fond of his farming hobby as ever, eh?"
17351
17352 "I believe so," said Philip, rather wondering at this sudden interest
17353 in his father's pursuits.
17354
17355 "Ah!" said Mr. Deane, "he's got some land in his own hands on this
17356 side the river as well as the other, I think?"
17357
17358 "Yes, he has."
17359
17360 "Ah!" continued Mr. Deane, as he dispensed the pigeonpie, "he must
17361 find farming a heavy item,--an expensive hobby. I never had a hobby
17362 myself, never would give in to that. And the worst of all hobbies are
17363 those that people think they can get money at. They shoot their money
17364 down like corn out of a sack then."
17365
17366 Lucy felt a little nervous under her father's apparently gratuitous
17367 criticism of Mr. Wakem's expenditure. But it ceased there, and Mr.
17368 Deane became unusually silent and meditative during his luncheon.
17369 Lucy, accustomed to watch all indications in her father, and having
17370 reasons, which had recently become strong, for an extra interest in
17371 what referred to the Wakems, felt an unusual curiosity to know what had
17372 prompted her father's questions. His subsequent silence made her
17373 suspect there had been some special reason for them in his mind.
17374
17375 With this idea in her head, she resorted to her usual plan when she
17376 wanted to tell or ask her father anything particular: she found a
17377 reason for her aunt Tulliver to leaving the dining-room after dinner,
17378 and seated herself on a small stool at her father's knee. Mr. Deane,
17379 under those circumstances, considered that he tasted some of the most
17380 agreeable moments his merits had purchased him in life,
17381 notwithstanding that Lucy, disliking to have her hair powdered with
17382 snuff, usually began by mastering his snuff-box on such occasions.
17383
17384 "You don't want to go to sleep yet, papa, _do_ you?" she said, as she
17385 brought up her stool and opened the large fingers that clutched the
17386 snuff-box.
17387
17388 "Not yet," said Mr. Deane, glancing at the reward of merit in the
17389 decanter. "But what do _you_ want?" he added, pinching the dimpled
17390 chin fondly,--"to coax some more sovereigns out of my pocket for your
17391 bazaar? Eh?"
17392
17393 "No, I have no base motives at all to-day. I only want to talk, not to
17394 beg. I want to know what made you ask Philip Wakem about his father's
17395 farming to-day, papa? It seemed rather odd, because you never hardly
17396 say anything to him about his father; and why should you care about
17397 Mr. Wakem's losing money by his hobby?"
17398
17399 "Something to do with business," said Mr. Deane, waving his hands, as
17400 if to repel intrusion into that mystery.
17401
17402 "But, papa, you always say Mr. Wakem has brought Philip up like a
17403 girl; how came you to think you should get any business knowledge out
17404 of him? Those abrupt questions sounded rather oddly. Philip thought
17405 them queer."
17406
17407 "Nonsense, child!" said Mr. Deane, willing to justify his social
17408 demeanor, with which he had taken some pains in his upward progress.
17409 "There's a report that Wakem's mill and farm on the other side of the
17410 river--Dorlcote Mill, your uncle Tulliver's, you know--isn't answering
17411 so well as it did. I wanted to see if your friend Philip would let
17412 anything out about his father's being tired of farming."
17413
17414 "Why? Would you buy the mill, papa, if he would part with it?" said
17415 Lucy, eagerly. "Oh, tell me everything; here, you shall have your
17416 snuff-box if you'll tell me. Because Maggie says all their hearts are
17417 set on Tom's getting back the mill some time. It was one of the last
17418 things her father said to Tom, that he must get back the mill."
17419
17420 "Hush, you little puss," said Mr. Deane, availing himself of the
17421 restored snuff-box. "You must not say a word about this thing; do you
17422 hear? There's very little chance of their getting the mill or of
17423 anybody's getting it out of Wakem's hands. And if he knew that we
17424 wanted it with a view to the Tulliver's getting it again, he'd be the
17425 less likely to part with it. It's natural, after what happened. He
17426 behaved well enough to Tulliver before; but a horsewhipping is not
17427 likely to be paid for with sugar-plums."
17428
17429 "Now, papa," said Lucy, with a little air of solemnity, "will you
17430 trust me? You must not ask me all my reasons for what I'm going to
17431 say, but I have very strong reasons. And I'm very cautious; I am,
17432 indeed."
17433
17434 "Well, let us hear."
17435
17436 "Why, I believe, if you will let me take Philip Wakem into our
17437 confidence,--let me tell him all about your wish to buy, and what it's
17438 for; that my cousins wish to have it, and why they wish to have it,--I
17439 believe Philip would help to bring it about. I know he would desire to
17440 do it."
17441
17442 "I don't see how that can be, child," said Mr. Deane, looking puzzled.
17443 "Why should _he_ care?"--then, with a sudden penetrating look at his
17444 daughter, "You don't think the poor lad's fond of you, and so you can
17445 make him do what you like?" (Mr. Deane felt quite safe about his
17446 daughter's affections.)
17447
17448 "No, papa; he cares very little about me,--not so much as I care about
17449 him. But I have a reason for being quite sure of what I say. Don't you
17450 ask me. And if you ever guess, don't tell me. Only give me leave to do
17451 as I think fit about it."
17452
17453 Lucy rose from her stool to seat herself on her father's knee, and
17454 kissed him with that last request.
17455
17456 "Are you sure you won't do mischief, now?" he said, looking at her
17457 with delight.
17458
17459 "Yes, papa, quite sure. I'm very wise; I've got all your business
17460 talents. Didn't you admire my accompt-book, now, when I showed it
17461 you?"
17462
17463 "Well, well, if this youngster will keep his counsel, there won't be
17464 much harm done. And to tell the truth, I think there's not much chance
17465 for us any other way. Now, let me go off to sleep."
17466
17467
17468
17469 Chapter VIII
17470
17471 Wakem in a New Light
17472
17473
17474 Before three days had passed after the conversation you have just
17475 overheard between Lucy and her father she had contrived to have a
17476 private interview with Philip during a visit of Maggie's to her aunt
17477 Glegg. For a day and a night Philip turned over in his mind with
17478 restless agitation all that Lucy had told him in that interview, till
17479 he had thoroughly resolved on a course of action. He thought he saw
17480 before him now a possibility of altering his position with respect to
17481 Maggie, and removing at least one obstacle between them. He laid his
17482 plan and calculated all his moves with the fervid deliberation of a
17483 chess-player in the days of his first ardor, and was amazed himself at
17484 his sudden genius as a tactician. His plan was as bold as it was
17485 thoroughly calculated. Having watched for a moment when his father had
17486 nothing more urgent on his hands than the newspaper, he went behind
17487 him, laid a hand on his shoulder, and said,--
17488
17489 "Father, will you come up into my sanctum, and look at my new
17490 sketches? I've arranged them now."
17491
17492 "I'm getting terrible stiff in the joints, Phil, for climbing those
17493 stairs of yours," said Wakem, looking kindly at his son as he laid
17494 down his paper. "But come along, then."
17495
17496 "This is a nice place for you, isn't it, Phil?--a capital light that
17497 from the roof, eh?" was, as usual, the first thing he said on entering
17498 the painting-room. He liked to remind himself and his son too that his
17499 fatherly indulgence had provided the accommodation. He had been a good
17500 father. Emily would have nothing to reproach him with there, if she
17501 came back again from her grave.
17502
17503 "Come, come," he said, putting his double eye-glass over his nose, and
17504 seating himself to take a general view while he rested, "you've got a
17505 famous show here. Upon my word, I don't see that your things aren't as
17506 good as that London artist's--what's his name--that Leyburn gave so
17507 much money for."
17508
17509 Philip shook his head and smiled. He had seated himself on his
17510 painting-stool, and had taken a lead pencil in his hand, with which he
17511 was making strong marks to counteract the sense of tremulousness. He
17512 watched his father get up, and walk slowly round, good-naturedly
17513 dwelling on the pictures much longer than his amount of genuine taste
17514 for landscape would have prompted, till he stopped before a stand on
17515 which two pictures were placed,--one much larger than the other, the
17516 smaller one in a leather case.
17517
17518 "Bless me! what have you here?" said Wakem, startled by a sudden
17519 transition from landscape to portrait. "I thought you'd left off
17520 figures. Who are these?"
17521
17522 "They are the same person," said Philip, with calm promptness, "at
17523 different ages."
17524
17525 "And what person?" said Wakem, sharply fixing his eyes with a growing
17526 look of suspicion on the larger picture.
17527
17528 "Miss Tulliver. The small one is something like what she was when I
17529 was at school with her brother at King's Lorton; the larger one is not
17530 quite so good a likeness of what she was when I came from abroad."
17531
17532 Wakem turned round fiercely, with a flushed face, letting his
17533 eye-glass fall, and looking at his son with a savage expression for a
17534 moment, as if he was ready to strike that daring feebleness from the
17535 stool. But he threw himself into the armchair again, and thrust his
17536 hands into his trouser-pockets, still looking angrily at his son,
17537 however. Philip did not return the look, but sat quietly watching the
17538 point of his pencil.
17539
17540 "And do you mean to say, then, that you have had any acquaintance with
17541 her since you came from abroad?" said Wakem, at last, with that vain
17542 effort which rage always makes to throw as much punishment as it
17543 desires to inflict into words and tones, since blows are forbidden.
17544
17545 "Yes; I saw a great deal of her for a whole year before her father's
17546 death. We met often in that thicket--the Red Deeps--near Dorlcote
17547 Mill. I love her dearly; I shall never love any other woman. I have
17548 thought of her ever since she was a little girl."
17549
17550 "Go on, sir! And you have corresponded with her all this while?"
17551
17552 "No. I never told her I loved her till just before we parted, and she
17553 promised her brother not to see me again or to correspond with me. I
17554 am not sure that she loves me or would consent to marry me. But if she
17555 would consent,--if she _did_ love me well enough,--I should marry
17556 her."
17557
17558 "And this is the return you make me for all the indulgences I've
17559 heaped on you?" said Wakem, getting white, and beginning to tremble
17560 under an enraged sense of impotence before Philip's calm defiance and
17561 concentration of purpose.
17562
17563 "No, father," said Philip, looking up at him for the first time; "I
17564 don't regard it as a return. You have been an indulgent father to me;
17565 but I have always felt that it was because you had an affectionate
17566 wish to give me as much happiness as my unfortunate lot would admit,
17567 not that it was a debt you expected me to pay by sacrificing all my
17568 chances of happiness to satisfy feelings of yours which I can never
17569 share."
17570
17571 "I think most sons would share their father's feelings in this case,"
17572 said Wakem, bitterly. "The girl's father was an ignorant mad brute,
17573 who was within an inch of murdering me. The whole town knows it. And
17574 the brother is just as insolent, only in a cooler way. He forbade her
17575 seeing you, you say; he'll break every bone in your body, for your
17576 greater happiness, if you don't take care. But you seem to have made
17577 up your mind; you have counted the consequences, I suppose. Of course
17578 you are independent of me; you can marry this girl to-morrow, if you
17579 like; you are a man of five-and-twenty,--you can go your way, and I
17580 can go mine. We need have no more to do with each other."
17581
17582 Wakem rose and walked toward the door, but something held him back,
17583 and instead of leaving the room, he walked up and down it. Philip was
17584 slow to reply, and when he spoke, his tone had a more incisive
17585 quietness and clearness than ever.
17586
17587 "No; I can't marry Miss Tulliver, even if she would have me, if I have
17588 only my own resources to maintain her with. I have been brought up to
17589 no profession. I can't offer her poverty as well as deformity."
17590
17591 "Ah, _there_ is a reason for your clinging to me, doubtless," said
17592 Wakem, still bitterly, though Philip's last words had given him a
17593 pang; they had stirred a feeling which had been a habit for a quarter
17594 of a century. He threw himself into the chair again.
17595
17596 "I expected all this," said Philip. "I know these scenes are often
17597 happening between father and son. If I were like other men of my age,
17598 I might answer your angry words by still angrier; we might part; I
17599 should marry the woman I love, and have a chance of being as happy as
17600 the rest. But if it will be a satisfaction to you to annihilate the
17601 very object of everything you've done for me, you have an advantage
17602 over most fathers; you can completely deprive me of the only thing
17603 that would make my life worth having."
17604
17605 Philip paused, but his father was silent.
17606
17607 "You know best what satisfaction you would have, beyond that of
17608 gratifying a ridiculous rancor worthy only of wandering savages."
17609
17610 "Ridiculous rancor!" Wakem burst out. "What do you mean? Damn it! is a
17611 man to be horsewhipped by a boor and love him for it? Besides, there's
17612 that cold, proud devil of a son, who said a word to me I shall not
17613 forget when we had the settling. He would be as pleasant a mark for a
17614 bullet as I know, if he were worth the expense."
17615
17616 "I don't mean your resentment toward them," said Philip, who had his
17617 reasons for some sympathy with this view of Tom, "though a feeling of
17618 revenge is not worth much, that you should care to keep it. I mean
17619 your extending the enmity to a helpless girl, who has too much sense
17620 and goodness to share their narrow prejudices. _She_ has never entered
17621 into the family quarrels."
17622
17623 "What does that signify? We don't ask what a woman does; we ask whom
17624 she belongs to. It's altogether a degrading thing to you, to think of
17625 marrying old Tulliver's daughter."
17626
17627 For the first time in the dialogue, Philip lost some of his
17628 self-control, and colored with anger.
17629
17630 "Miss Tulliver," he said, with bitter incisiveness, "has the only
17631 grounds of rank that anything but vulgar folly can suppose to belong
17632 to the middle class; she is thoroughly refined, and her friends,
17633 whatever else they may be, are respected for irreproachable honor and
17634 integrity. All St. Ogg's, I fancy, would pronounce her to be more than
17635 my equal."
17636
17637 Wakem darted a glance of fierce question at his son; but Philip was
17638 not looking at him, and with a certain penitent consciousness went on,
17639 in a few moments, as if in amplification of his last words,--
17640
17641 "Find a single person in St. Ogg's who will not tell you that a
17642 beautiful creature like her would be throwing herself away on a
17643 pitiable object like me."
17644
17645 "Not she!" said Wakem, rising again, and forgetting everything else in
17646 a burst of resentful pride, half fatherly, half personal. "It would be
17647 a deuced fine match for her. It's all stuff about an accidental
17648 deformity, when a girl's really attached to a man."
17649
17650 "But girls are not apt to get attached under those circumstances,"
17651 said Philip.
17652
17653 "Well, then," said Wakem, rather brutally, trying to recover his
17654 previous position, "if she doesn't care for you, you might have spared
17655 yourself the trouble of talking to me about her, and you might have
17656 spared me the trouble of refusing my consent to what was never likely
17657 to happen."
17658
17659 Wakem strode to the door, and without looking round again, banged it
17660 after him.
17661
17662 Philip was not without confidence that his father would be ultimately
17663 wrought upon as he had expected, by what had passed; but the scene had
17664 jarred upon his nerves, which were as sensitive as a woman's. He
17665 determined not to go down to dinner; he couldn't meet his father again
17666 that day. It was Wakem's habit, when he had no company at home, to go
17667 out in the evening, often as early as half-past seven; and as it was
17668 far on in the afternoon now, Philip locked up his room and went out
17669 for a long ramble, thinking he would not return until his father was
17670 out of the house again. He got into a boat, and went down the river to
17671 a favorite village, where he dined, and lingered till it was late
17672 enough for him to return. He had never had any sort of quarrel with
17673 his father before, and had a sickening fear that this contest, just
17674 begun, might go on for weeks; and what might not happen in that time?
17675 He would not allow himself to define what that involuntary question
17676 meant. But if he could once be in the position of Maggie's accepted,
17677 acknowledged lover, there would be less room for vague dread. He went
17678 up to his painting-room again, and threw himself with a sense of
17679 fatigue into the armchair, looking round absently at the views of
17680 water and rock that were ranged around, till he fell into a doze, in
17681 which he fancied Maggie was slipping down a glistening, green, slimy
17682 channel of a waterfall, and he was looking on helpless, till he was
17683 awakened by what seemed a sudden, awful crash.
17684
17685 It was the opening of the door, and he could hardly have dozed more
17686 than a few moments, for there was no perceptible change in the evening
17687 light. It was his father who entered; and when Philip moved to vacate
17688 the chair for him, he said,--
17689
17690 "Sit still. I'd rather walk about."
17691
17692 He stalked up and down the room once or twice, and then, standing
17693 opposite Philip with his hands thrust in his side pockets, he said, as
17694 if continuing a conversation that had not been broken off,--
17695
17696 "But this girl seems to have been fond of you, Phil, else she wouldn't
17697 have met you in that way."
17698
17699 Philip's heart was beating rapidly, and a transient flush passed over
17700 his face like a gleam. It was not quite easy to speak at once.
17701
17702 "She liked me at King's Lorton, when she was a little girl, because I
17703 used to sit with her brother a great deal when he had hurt his foot.
17704 She had kept that in her memory, and thought of me as a friend of a
17705 long while ago. She didn't think of me as a lover when she met me."
17706
17707 "Well, but you made love to her at last. What did she say then?" said
17708 Wakem, walking about again.
17709
17710 "She said she _did_ love me then."
17711
17712 "Confound it, then; what else do you want? Is she a jilt?"
17713
17714 "She was very young then," said Philip, hesitatingly. "I'm afraid she
17715 hardly knew what she felt. I'm afraid our long separation, and the
17716 idea that events must always divide us, may have made a difference."
17717
17718 "But she's in the town. I've seen her at church. Haven't you spoken to
17719 her since you came back?"
17720
17721 "Yes, at Mr. Deane's. But I couldn't renew my proposals to her on
17722 several grounds. One obstacle would be removed if you would give your
17723 consent,--if you would be willing to think of her as a daughter-in-law."
17724
17725 Wakem was silent a little while, pausing before Maggie's picture.
17726
17727 "She's not the sort of woman your mother was, though, Phil," he said,
17728 at last. "I saw her at church,--she's handsomer than this,--deuced
17729 fine eyes and fine figure, I saw; but rather dangerous and
17730 unmanageable, eh?"
17731
17732 "She's very tender and affectionate, and so simple,--without the airs
17733 and petty contrivances other women have."
17734
17735 "Ah?" said Wakem. Then looking round at his son, "But your mother
17736 looked gentler; she had that brown wavy hair and gray eyes, like
17737 yours. You can't remember her very well. It was a thousand pities I'd
17738 no likeness of her."
17739
17740 "Then, shouldn't you be glad for me to have the same sort of
17741 happiness, father, to sweeten my life for me? There can never be
17742 another tie so strong to you as that which began eight-and-twenty
17743 years ago, when you married my mother, and you have been tightening it
17744 ever since."
17745
17746 "Ah, Phil, you're the only fellow that knows the best of me," said
17747 Wakem, giving his hand to his son. "We must keep together if we can.
17748 And now, what am I to do? You must come downstairs and tell me. Am I
17749 to go and call on this dark-eyed damsel?"
17750
17751 The barrier once thrown down in this way, Philip could talk freely to
17752 his father of their entire relation with the Tullivers,--of the desire
17753 to get the mill and land back into the family, and of its transfer to
17754 Guest & Co. as an intermediate step. He could venture now to be
17755 persuasive and urgent, and his father yielded with more readiness than
17756 he had calculated on.
17757
17758 "_I_ don't care about the mill," he said at last, with a sort of angry
17759 compliance. "I've had an infernal deal of bother lately about the
17760 mill. Let them pay me for my improvements, that's all. But there's one
17761 thing you needn't ask me. I shall have no direct transactions with
17762 young Tulliver. If you like to swallow him for his sister's sake, you
17763 may; but I've no sauce that will make him go down."
17764
17765 I leave you to imagine the agreeable feelings with which Philip went
17766 to Mr. Deane the next day, to say that Mr. Wakem was ready to open the
17767 negotiations, and Lucy's pretty triumph as she appealed to her father
17768 whether she had not proved her great business abilities. Mr. Deane was
17769 rather puzzled, and suspected that there had been something "going on"
17770 among the young people to which he wanted a clew. But to men of Mr.
17771 Deane's stamp, what goes on among the young people is as extraneous to
17772 the real business of life as what goes on among the birds and
17773 butterflies, until it can be shown to have a malign bearing on
17774 monetary affairs. And in this case the bearing appeared to be entirely
17775 propitious.
17776
17777
17778
17779 Chapter IX
17780
17781 Charity in Full-Dress
17782
17783
17784 The culmination of Maggie's career as an admired member of society in
17785 St. Ogg's was certainly the day of the bazaar, when her simple noble
17786 beauty, clad in a white muslin of some soft-floating kind, which I
17787 suspect must have come from the stores of aunt Pullet's wardrobe,
17788 appeared with marked distinction among the more adorned and
17789 conventional women around her. We perhaps never detect how much of our
17790 social demeanor is made up of artificial airs until we see a person
17791 who is at once beautiful and simple; without the beauty, we are apt to
17792 call simplicity awkwardness. The Miss Guests were much too well-bred
17793 to have any of the grimaces and affected tones that belong to
17794 pretentious vulgarity; but their stall being next to the one where
17795 Maggie sat, it seemed newly obvious to-day that Miss Guest held her
17796 chin too high, and that Miss Laura spoke and moved continually with a
17797 view to effect.
17798
17799 All well-dressed St. Ogg's and its neighborhood were there; and it
17800 would have been worth while to come even from a distance, to see the
17801 fine old hall, with its open roof and carved oaken rafters, and great
17802 oaken folding-doors, and light shed down from a height on the
17803 many-colored show beneath; a very quaint place, with broad faded
17804 stripes painted on the walls, and here and there a show of heraldic
17805 animals of a bristly, long-snouted character, the cherished emblems of
17806 a noble family once the seigniors of this now civic hall. A grand
17807 arch, cut in the upper wall at one end, surmounted an oaken orchestra,
17808 with an open room behind it, where hothouse plants and stalls for
17809 refreshments were disposed; an agreeable resort for gentlemen disposed
17810 to loiter, and yet to exchange the occasional crush down below for a
17811 more commodious point of view. In fact, the perfect fitness of this
17812 ancient building for an admirable modern purpose, that made charity
17813 truly elegant, and led through vanity up to the supply of a deficit,
17814 was so striking that hardly a person entered the room without
17815 exchanging the remark more than once. Near the great arch over the
17816 orchestra was the stone oriel with painted glass, which was one of the
17817 venerable inconsistencies of the old hall; and it was close by this
17818 that Lucy had her stall, for the convenience of certain large plain
17819 articles which she had taken charge of for Mrs. Kenn. Maggie had
17820 begged to sit at the open end of the stall, and to have the sale of
17821 these articles rather than of bead-mats and other elaborate products
17822 of which she had but a dim understanding. But it soon appeared that
17823 the gentlemen's dressing-gowns, which were among her commodities, were
17824 objects of such general attention and inquiry, and excited so
17825 troublesome a curiosity as to their lining and comparative merits,
17826 together with a determination to test them by trying on, as to make
17827 her post a very conspicuous one. The ladies who had commodities of
17828 their own to sell, and did not want dressing-gowns, saw at once the
17829 frivolity and bad taste of this masculine preference for goods which
17830 any tailor could furnish; and it is possible that the emphatic notice
17831 of various kinds which was drawn toward Miss Tulliver on this public
17832 occasion, threw a very strong and unmistakable light on her subsequent
17833 conduct in many minds then present. Not that anger, on account of
17834 spurned beauty can dwell in the celestial breasts of charitable
17835 ladies, but rather that the errors of persons who have once been much
17836 admired necessarily take a deeper tinge from the mere force of
17837 contrast; and also, that to-day Maggie's conspicuous position, for the
17838 first time, made evident certain characteristics which were
17839 subsequently felt to have an explanatory bearing. There was something
17840 rather bold in Miss Tulliver's direct gaze, and something undefinably
17841 coarse in the style of her beauty, which placed her, in the opinion of
17842 all feminine judges, far below her cousin Miss Deane; for the ladies
17843 of St. Ogg's had now completely ceded to Lucy their hypothetic claims
17844 on the admiration of Mr. Stephen Guest.
17845
17846 As for dear little Lucy herself, her late benevolent triumph about the
17847 Mill, and all the affectionate projects she was cherishing for Maggie
17848 and Philip, helped to give her the highest spirits to-day, and she
17849 felt nothing but pleasure in the evidence of Maggie's attractiveness.
17850 It is true, she was looking very charming herself, and Stephen was
17851 paying her the utmost attention on this public occasion; jealously
17852 buying up the articles he had seen under her fingers in the process of
17853 making, and gayly helping her to cajole the male customers into the
17854 purchase of the most effeminate futilities. He chose to lay aside his
17855 hat and wear a scarlet fez of her embroidering; but by superficial
17856 observers this was necessarily liable to be interpreted less as a
17857 compliment to Lucy than as a mark of coxcombry. "Guest is a great
17858 coxcomb," young Torry observed; "but then he is a privileged person in
17859 St. Ogg's--he carries all before him; if another fellow did such
17860 things, everybody would say he made a fool of himself."
17861
17862 And Stephen purchased absolutely nothing from Maggie, until Lucy said,
17863 in rather a vexed undertone,--
17864
17865 "See, now; all the things of Maggie's knitting will be gone, and you
17866 will not have bought one. There are those deliciously soft warm things
17867 for the wrists,--do buy them."
17868
17869 "Oh no," said Stephen, "they must be intended for imaginative persons,
17870 who can chill themselves on this warm day by thinking of the frosty
17871 Caucasus. Stern reason is my forte, you know. You must get Philip to
17872 buy those. By the way, why doesn't he come?"
17873
17874 "He never likes going where there are many people, though I enjoined
17875 him to come. He said he would buy up any of my goods that the rest of
17876 the world rejected. But now, do go and buy something of Maggie."
17877
17878 "No, no; see, she has got a customer; there is old Wakem himself just
17879 coming up."
17880
17881 Lucy's eyes turned with anxious interest toward Maggie to see how she
17882 went through this first interview, since a sadly memorable time, with
17883 a man toward whom she must have so strange a mixture of feelings; but
17884 she was pleased to notice that Wakem had tact enough to enter at once
17885 into talk about the bazaar wares, and appear interested in purchasing,
17886 smiling now and then kindly at Maggie, and not calling on her to speak
17887 much, as if he observed that she was rather pale and tremulous.
17888
17889 "Why, Wakem is making himself particularly amiable to your cousin,"
17890 said Stephen, in an undertone to Lucy; "is it pure magnanimity? You
17891 talked of a family quarrel."
17892
17893 "Oh, that will soon be quite healed, I hope," said Lucy, becoming a
17894 little indiscreet in her satisfaction, and speaking with an air of
17895 significance. But Stephen did not appear to notice this, and as some
17896 lady-purchasers came up, he lounged on toward Maggie's end, handling
17897 trifles and standing aloof until Wakem, who had taken out his purse,
17898 had finished his transactions.
17899
17900 "My son came with me," he overheard Wakem saying, "but he has vanished
17901 into some other part of the building, and has left all these
17902 charitable gallantries to me. I hope you'll reproach him for his
17903 shabby conduct."
17904
17905 She returned his smile and bow without speaking, and he turned away,
17906 only then observing Stephen and nodding to him. Maggie, conscious that
17907 Stephen was still there, busied herself with counting money, and
17908 avoided looking up. She had been well pleased that he had devoted
17909 himself to Lucy to-day, and had not come near her. They had begun the
17910 morning with an indifferent salutation, and both had rejoiced in being
17911 aloof from each other, like a patient who has actually done without
17912 his opium, in spite of former failures in resolution. And during the
17913 last few days they had even been making up their minds to failures,
17914 looking to the outward events that must soon come to separate them, as
17915 a reason for dispensing with self-conquest in detail.
17916
17917 Stephen moved step by step as if he were being unwillingly dragged,
17918 until he had got round the open end of the stall, and was half hidden
17919 by a screen of draperies. Maggie went on counting her money till she
17920 suddenly heard a deep gentle voice saying, "Aren't you very tried? Do
17921 let me bring you something,--some fruit or jelly, mayn't I?"
17922
17923 The unexpected tones shook her like a sudden accidental vibration of a
17924 harp close by her.
17925
17926 "Oh no, thank you," she said faintly, and only half looking up for an
17927 instant.
17928
17929 "You look so pale," Stephen insisted, in a more entreating tone. "I'm
17930 sure you're exhausted. I must disobey you, and bring something."
17931
17932 "No, indeed, I couldn't take it."
17933
17934 "Are you angry with me? What have I done? _Do_ look at me."
17935
17936 "Pray, go away," said Maggie, looking at him helplessly, her eyes
17937 glancing immediately from him to the opposite corner of the orchestra,
17938 which was half hidden by the folds of the old faded green curtain.
17939 Maggie had no sooner uttered this entreaty than she was wretched at
17940 the admission it implied; but Stephen turned away at once, and
17941 following her upward glance, he saw Philip Wakem sealed in the
17942 half-hidden corner, so that he could command little more than that
17943 angle of the hall in which Maggie sat. An entirely new though occurred
17944 to Stephen, and linking itself with what he had observed of Wakem's
17945 manner, and with Lucy's reply to his observation, it convinced him
17946 that there had been some former relation between Philip and Maggie
17947 beyond that childish one of which he had heard. More than one impulse
17948 made him immediately leave the hall and go upstairs to the
17949 refreshment-room, where, walking up to Philip, he sat down behind him,
17950 and put his hand on his shoulder.
17951
17952 "Are you studying for a portrait, Phil," he said, "or for a sketch of
17953 that oriel window? By George, it makes a capital bit from this dark
17954 corner, with the curtain just marking it off."
17955
17956 "I have been studying expression," said Philip, curtly.
17957
17958 "What! Miss Tulliver's? It's rather of the savage-moody order to-day,
17959 I think,--something of the fallen princess serving behind a counter.
17960 Her cousin sent me to her with a civil offer to get her some
17961 refreshment, but I have been snubbed, as usual. There's natural
17962 antipathy between us, I suppose; I have seldom the honor to please
17963 her."
17964
17965 "What a hypocrite you are!" said Philip, flushing angrily.
17966
17967 "What! because experience must have told me that I'm universally
17968 pleasing? I admit the law, but there's some disturbing force here."
17969
17970 "I am going," said Philip, rising abruptly.
17971
17972 "So am I--to get a breath of fresh air; this place gets oppressive. I
17973 think I have done suit and service long enough."
17974
17975 The two friends walked downstairs together without speaking. Philip
17976 turned through the outer door into the court-yard; but Stephen,
17977 saying, "Oh, by the by, I must call in here," went on along the
17978 passage to one of the rooms at the other end of the building, which
17979 were appropriated to the town library. He had the room all to himself,
17980 and a man requires nothing less than this when he wants to dash his
17981 cap on the table, throw himself astride a chair, and stare at a high
17982 brick wall with a frown which would not have been beneath the occasion
17983 if he had been slaying "the giant Python." The conduct that issues
17984 from a moral conflict has often so close a resemblance to vice that
17985 the distinction escapes all outward judgments founded on a mere
17986 comparison of actions. It is clear to you, I hope, that Stephen was
17987 not a hypocrite,--capable of deliberate doubleness for a selfish end;
17988 and yet his fluctuations between the indulgence of a feeling and the
17989 systematic concealment of it might have made a good case in support of
17990 Philip's accusation.
17991
17992 Meanwhile, Maggie sat at her stall cold and trembling, with that
17993 painful sensation in the eyes which comes from resolutely repressed
17994 tears. Was her life to be always like this,--always bringing some new
17995 source of inward strife? She heard confusedly the busy, indifferent
17996 voices around her, and wished her mind could flow into that easy
17997 babbling current. It was at this moment that Dr. Kenn, who had quite
17998 lately come into the hall, and was now walking down the middle with
17999 his hands behind him, taking a general view, fixed his eyes on Maggie
18000 for the first time, and was struck with the expression of pain on her
18001 beautiful face. She was sitting quite still, for the stream of
18002 customers had lessened at this late hour in the afternoon; the
18003 gentlemen had chiefly chosen the middle of the day, and Maggie's stall
18004 was looking rather bare. This, with her absent, pained expression,
18005 finished the contrast between her and her companions, who were all
18006 bright, eager, and busy. He was strongly arrested. Her face had
18007 naturally drawn his attention as a new and striking one at church, and
18008 he had been introduced to her during a short call on business at Mr.
18009 Deane's, but he had never spoken more than three words to her. He
18010 walked toward her now, and Maggie, perceiving some one approaching,
18011 roused herself to look up and be prepared to speak. She felt a
18012 childlike, instinctive relief from the sense of uneasiness in this
18013 exertion, when she saw it was Dr. Kenn's face that was looking at her;
18014 that plain, middle-aged face, with a grave, penetrating kindness in
18015 it, seeming to tell of a human being who had reached a firm, safe
18016 strand, but was looking with helpful pity toward the strugglers still
18017 tossed by the waves, had an effect on Maggie at this moment which was
18018 afterward remembered by her as if it had been a promise. The
18019 middle-aged, who have lived through their strongest emotions, but are
18020 yet in the time when memory is still half passionate and not merely
18021 contemplative, should surely be a sort of natural priesthood, whom
18022 life has disciplined and consecrated to be the refuge and rescue of
18023 early stumblers and victims of self-despair. Most of us, at some
18024 moment in our young lives, would have welcomed a priest of that
18025 natural order in any sort of canonicals or uncanonicals, but had to
18026 scramble upward into all the difficulties of nineteen entirely without
18027 such aid, as Maggie did.
18028
18029 "You find your office rather a fatiguing one, I fear, Miss Tulliver,"
18030 said Dr. Kenn.
18031
18032 "It is, rather," said Maggie, simply, not being accustomed to simpler
18033 amiable denials of obvious facts.
18034
18035 "But I can tell Mrs. Kenn that you have disposed of her goods very
18036 quickly," he added; "she will be very much obliged to you."
18037
18038 "Oh, I have done nothing; the gentlemen came very fast to buy the
18039 dressing-gowns and embroidered waistcoats, but I think any of the
18040 other ladies would have sold more; I didn't know what to say about
18041 them."
18042
18043 Dr. Kenn smiled. "I hope I'm going to have you as a permanent
18044 parishioner now, Miss Tulliver; am I? You have been at a distance from
18045 us hitherto."
18046
18047 "I have been a teacher in a school, and I'm going into another
18048 situation of the same kind very soon."
18049
18050 "Ah? I was hoping you would remain among your friends, who are all in
18051 this neighborhood, I believe."
18052
18053 "Oh, _I must go_," said Maggie, earnestly, looking at Dr. Kenn with an
18054 expression of reliance, as if she had told him her history in those
18055 three words. It was one of those moments of implicit revelation which
18056 will sometimes happen even between people who meet quite
18057 transiently,--on a mile's journey, perhaps, or when resting by the
18058 wayside. There is always this possibility of a word or look from a
18059 stranger to keep alive the sense of human brotherhood.
18060
18061 Dr. Kenn's ear and eye took in all the signs that this brief
18062 confidence of Maggie's was charged with meaning.
18063
18064 "I understand," he said; "you feel it right to go. But that will not
18065 prevent our meeting again, I hope; it will not prevent my knowing you
18066 better, if I can be of any service to you."
18067
18068 He put out his hand and pressed hers kindly before he turned away.
18069
18070 "She has some trouble or other at heart," he thought. "Poor child! she
18071 looks as if she might turn out to be one of
18072
18073 'The souls by nature pitched too high,
18074 By suffering plunged too low.'
18075
18076 "There's something wonderfully honest in those beautiful eyes."
18077
18078 It may be surprising that Maggie, among whose many imperfections an
18079 excessive delight in admiration and acknowledged supremacy were not
18080 absent now, any more than when she was instructing the gypsies with a
18081 view toward achieving a royal position among them, was not more elated
18082 on a day when she had had the tribute of so many looks and smiles,
18083 together with that satisfactory consciousness which had necessarily
18084 come from being taken before Lucy's chevalglass, and made to look at
18085 the full length of her tall beauty, crowned by the night of her massy
18086 hair. Maggie had smiled at herself then, and for the moment had
18087 forgotten everything in the sense of her own beauty. If that state of
18088 mind could have lasted, her choice would have been to have Stephen
18089 Guest at her feet, offering her a life filled with all luxuries, with
18090 daily incense of adoration near and distant, and with all
18091 possibilities of culture at her command. But there were things in her
18092 stronger than vanity,--passion and affection, and long, deep memories
18093 of early discipline and effort, of early claims on her love and pity;
18094 and the stream of vanity was soon swept along and mingled
18095 imperceptibly with that wider current which was at its highest force
18096 today, under the double urgency of the events and inward impulses
18097 brought by the last week.
18098
18099 Philip had not spoken to her himself about the removal of obstacles
18100 between them on his father's side,--he shrank from that; but he had
18101 told everything to Lucy, with the hope that Maggie, being informed
18102 through her, might give him some encouraging sign that their being
18103 brought thus much nearer to each other was a happiness to her. The
18104 rush of conflicting feelings was too great for Maggie to say much when
18105 Lucy, with a face breathing playful joy, like one of Correggio's
18106 cherubs, poured forth her triumphant revelation; and Lucy could hardly
18107 be surprised that she could do little more than cry with gladness at
18108 the thought of her father's wish being fulfilled, and of Tom's getting
18109 the Mill again in reward for all his hard striving. The details of
18110 preparation for the bazaar had then come to usurp Lucy's attention for
18111 the next few days, and nothing had been said by the cousins on
18112 subjects that were likely to rouse deeper feelings. Philip had been to
18113 the house more than once, but Maggie had had no private conversation
18114 with him, and thus she had been left to fight her inward battle
18115 without interference.
18116
18117 But when the bazaar was fairly ended, and the cousins were alone
18118 again, resting together at home, Lucy said,--
18119
18120 "You must give up going to stay with your aunt Moss the day after
18121 to-morrow, Maggie; write a note to her, and tell her you have put it
18122 off at my request, and I'll send the man with it. She won't be
18123 displeased; you'll have plenty of time to go by-and-by; and I don't
18124 want you to go out of the way just now."
18125
18126 "Yes, indeed I must go, dear; I can't put it off. I wouldn't leave
18127 aunt Gritty out for the world. And I shall have very little time, for
18128 I'm going away to a new situation on the 25th of June."
18129
18130 "Maggie!" said Lucy, almost white with astonishment.
18131
18132 "I didn't tell you, dear," said Maggie, making a great effort to
18133 command herself, "because you've been so busy. But some time ago I
18134 wrote to our old governess, Miss Firniss, to ask her to let me know if
18135 she met with any situation that I could fill, and the other day I had
18136 a letter from her telling me that I could take three orphan pupils of
18137 hers to the coast during the holidays, and then make trial of a
18138 situation with her as teacher. I wrote yesterday to accept the offer."
18139
18140 Lucy felt so hurt that for some moments she was unable to speak.
18141
18142 "Maggie," she said at last, "how could you be so unkind to me--not to
18143 tell me--to take _such_ a step--and now!" She hesitated a little, and
18144 then added, "And Philip? I thought everything was going to be so
18145 happy. Oh, Maggie, what is the reason? Give it up; let me write. There
18146 is nothing now to keep you and Philip apart."
18147
18148 "Yes," said Maggie, faintly. "There is Tom's feeling. He said I must
18149 give him up if I married Philip. And I know he will not change--at
18150 least not for a long while--unless something happened to soften him."
18151
18152 "But I will talk to him; he's coming back this week. And this good
18153 news about the Mill will soften him. And I'll talk to him about
18154 Philip. Tom's always very compliant to me; I don't think he's so
18155 obstinate."
18156
18157 "But I must go," said Maggie, in a distressed voice. "I must leave
18158 some time to pack. Don't press me to stay, dear Lucy."
18159
18160 Lucy was silent for two or three minutes, looking away and ruminating.
18161 At length she knelt down by her cousin, and looking up in her face
18162 with anxious seriousness, said,--
18163
18164 "Maggie, is it that you don't love Philip well enough to marry him?
18165 Tell me--trust me."
18166
18167 Maggie held Lucy's hands tightly in silence a little while. Her own
18168 hands were quite cold. But when she spoke, her voice was quite clear
18169 and distinct.
18170
18171 "Yes, Lucy, I would choose to marry him. I think it would be the best
18172 and highest lot for me,--to make his life happy. He loved me first. No
18173 one else could be quite what he is to me. But I can't divide myself
18174 from my brother for life. I must go away, and wait. Pray don't speak
18175 to me again about it."
18176
18177 Lucy obeyed in pain and wonder. The next word she said was,--
18178
18179 "Well, dear Maggie, at least you will go to the dance at Park House
18180 to-morrow, and have some music and brightness, before you go to pay
18181 these dull dutiful visits. Ah! here come aunty and the tea."
18182
18183
18184
18185 Chapter X
18186
18187 The Spell Seems Broken
18188
18189
18190 The suite of rooms opening into each other at Park House looked duly
18191 brilliant with lights and flowers and the personal splendors of
18192 sixteen couples, with attendant parents and guardians. The focus of
18193 brilliancy was the long drawing-room, where the dancing went forward,
18194 under the inspiration of the grand piano; the library, into which it
18195 opened at one end, had the more sober illumination of maturity, with
18196 caps and cards; and at the other end the pretty sitting-room, with a
18197 conservatory attached, was left as an occasional cool retreat. Lucy,
18198 who had laid aside her black for the first time, and had her pretty
18199 slimness set off by an abundant dress of white crape, was the
18200 acknowledged queen of the occasion; for this was one of the Miss
18201 Guests' thoroughly condescending parties, including no member of any
18202 aristocracy higher than that of St. Ogg's, and stretching to the
18203 extreme limits of commercial and professional gentility.
18204
18205 Maggie at first refused to dance, saying that she had forgotten all
18206 the figures--it was so many years since she had danced at school; and
18207 she was glad to have that excuse, for it is ill dancing with a heavy
18208 heart. But at length the music wrought in her young limbs, and the
18209 longing came; even though it was the horrible young Torry, who walked
18210 up a second time to try and persuade her. She warned him that she
18211 could not dance anything but a country-dance; but he, of course, was
18212 willing to wait for that high felicity, meaning only to be
18213 complimentary when he assured her at several intervals that it was a
18214 "great bore" that she couldn't waltz, he would have liked so much to
18215 waltz with her. But at last it was the turn of the good old-fashioned
18216 dance which has the least of vanity and the most of merriment in it,
18217 and Maggie quite forgot her troublous life in a childlike enjoyment of
18218 that half-rustic rhythm which seems to banish pretentious etiquette.
18219 She felt quite charitably toward young Torry, as his hand bore her
18220 along and held her up in the dance; her eyes and cheeks had that fire
18221 of young joy in them which will flame out if it can find the least
18222 breath to fan it; and her simple black dress, with its bit of black
18223 lace, seemed like the dim setting of a jewel.
18224
18225 Stephen had not yet asked her to dance; had not yet paid her more than
18226 a passing civility. Since yesterday, that inward vision of her which
18227 perpetually made part of his consciousness, had been half screened by
18228 the image of Philip Wakem, which came across it like a blot; there was
18229 some attachment between her and Philip; at least there was an
18230 attachment on his side, which made her feel in some bondage. Here,
18231 then, Stephen told himself, was another claim of honor which called on
18232 him to resist the attraction that was continually threatening to
18233 overpower him. He told himself so; and yet he had once or twice felt a
18234 certain savage resistance, and at another moment a shuddering
18235 repugnance, to this intrusion of Philip's image, which almost made it
18236 a new incitement to rush toward Maggie and claim her for himself.
18237 Nevertheless, he had done what he meant to do this evening,--he had
18238 kept aloof from her; he had hardly looked at her; and he had been
18239 gayly assiduous to Lucy. But now his eyes were devouring Maggie; he
18240 felt inclined to kick young Torry out of the dance, and take his
18241 place. Then he wanted the dance to end that he might get rid of his
18242 partner. The possibility that he too should dance with Maggie, and
18243 have her hand in his so long, was beginning to possess him like a
18244 thirst. But even now their hands were meeting in the dance,--were
18245 meeting still to the very end of it, though they were far off each
18246 other.
18247
18248 Stephen hardly knew what happened, or in what automatic way he got
18249 through the duties of politeness in the interval, until he was free
18250 and saw Maggie seated alone again, at the farther end of the room. He
18251 made his way toward her round the couples that were forming for the
18252 waltz; and when Maggie became conscious that she was the person he
18253 sought, she felt, in spite of all the thoughts that had gone before, a
18254 glowing gladness at heart. Her eyes and cheeks were still brightened
18255 with her childlike enthusiasm in the dance; her whole frame was set to
18256 joy and tenderness; even the coming pain could not seem bitter,--she
18257 was ready to welcome it as a part of life, for life at this moment
18258 seemed a keen, vibrating consciousness poised above pleasure or pain.
18259 This one, this last night, she might expand unrestrainedly in the
18260 warmth of the present, without those chill, eating thoughts of the
18261 past and the future.
18262
18263 "They're going to waltz again," said Stephen, bending to speak to her,
18264 with that glance and tone of subdued tenderness which young dreams
18265 create to themselves in the summer woods when low, cooing voices fill
18266 the air. Such glances and tones bring the breath of poetry with them
18267 into a room that is half stifling with glaring gas and hard
18268 flirtation.
18269
18270 "They are going to waltz again. It is rather dizzy work to look on,
18271 and the room is very warm; shall we walk about a little?"
18272
18273 He took her hand and placed it within his arm, and they walked on into
18274 the sitting-room, where the tables were strewn with engravings for the
18275 accommodation of visitors who would not want to look at them. But no
18276 visitors were here at this moment. They passed on into the
18277 conservatory.
18278
18279 "How strange and unreal the trees and flowers look with the lights
18280 among them!" said Maggie, in a low voice. "They look as if they
18281 belonged to an enchanted land, and would never fade away; I could
18282 fancy they were all made of jewels."
18283
18284 She was looking at the tier of geraniums as she spoke, and Stephen
18285 made no answer; but he was looking at her; and does not a supreme poet
18286 blend light and sound into one, calling darkness mute, and light
18287 eloquent? Something strangely powerful there was in the light of
18288 Stephen's long gaze, for it made Maggie's face turn toward it and look
18289 upward at it, slowly, like a flower at the ascending brightness. And
18290 they walked unsteadily on, without feeling that they were walking;
18291 without feeling anything but that long, grave, mutual gaze which has
18292 the solemnity belonging to all deep human passion. The hovering
18293 thought that they must and would renounce each other made this moment
18294 of mute confession more intense in its rapture.
18295
18296 But they had reached the end of the conservatory, and were obliged to
18297 pause and turn. The change of movement brought a new consciousness to
18298 Maggie; she blushed deeply, turned away her head, and drew her arm
18299 from Stephen's, going up to some flowers to smell them. Stephen stood
18300 motionless, and still pale.
18301
18302 "Oh, may I get this rose?" said Maggie, making a great effort to say
18303 something, and dissipate the burning sense of irretrievable
18304 confession. "I think I am quite wicked with roses; I like to gather
18305 them and smell them till they have no scent left."
18306
18307 Stephen was mute; he was incapable of putting a sentence together, and
18308 Maggie bent her arm a little upward toward the large half-opened rose
18309 that had attracted her. Who has not felt the beauty of a woman's arm?
18310 The unspeakable suggestions of tenderness that lie in the dimpled
18311 elbow, and all the varied gently lessening curves, down to the
18312 delicate wrist, with its tiniest, almost imperceptible nicks in the
18313 firm softness. A woman's arm touched the soul of a great sculptor two
18314 thousand years ago, so that he wrought an image of it for the
18315 Parthenon which moves us still as it clasps lovingly the timeworn
18316 marble of a headless trunk. Maggie's was such an arm as that, and it
18317 had the warm tints of life.
18318
18319 A mad impulse seized on Stephen; he darted toward the arm, and
18320 showered kisses on it, clasping the wrist.
18321
18322 But the next moment Maggie snatched it from him, and glared at him
18323 like a wounded war-goddess, quivering with rage and humiliation.
18324
18325 "How dare you?" She spoke in a deeply shaken, half-smothered voice.
18326 "What right have I given you to insult me?"
18327
18328 She darted from him into the adjoining room, and threw herself on the
18329 sofa, panting and trembling.
18330
18331 A horrible punishment was come upon her for the sin of allowing a
18332 moment's happiness that was treachery to Lucy, to Philip, to her own
18333 better soul. That momentary happiness had been smitten with a blight,
18334 a leprosy; Stephen thought more lightly of _her_ than he did of Lucy.
18335
18336 As for Stephen, he leaned back against the framework of the
18337 conservatory, dizzy with the conflict of passions,--love, rage, and
18338 confused despair; despair at his want of self-mastery, and despair
18339 that he had offended Maggie.
18340
18341 The last feeling surmounted every other; to be by her side again and
18342 entreat forgiveness was the only thing that had the force of a motive
18343 for him, and she had not been seated more than a few minutes when he
18344 came and stood humbly before her. But Maggie's bitter rage was
18345 unspent.
18346
18347 "Leave me to myself, if you please," she said, with impetuous
18348 haughtiness, "and for the future avoid me."
18349
18350 Stephen turned away, and walked backward and forward at the other end
18351 of the room. There was the dire necessity of going back into the
18352 dancing-room again, and he was beginning to be conscious of that. They
18353 had been absent so short a time, that when he went in again the waltz
18354 was not ended.
18355
18356 Maggie, too, was not long before she re-entered. All the pride of her
18357 nature was stung into activity; the hateful weakness which had dragged
18358 her within reach of this wound to her self-respect had at least
18359 wrought its own cure. The thoughts and temptations of the last month
18360 should all be flung away into an unvisited chamber of memory. There
18361 was nothing to allure her now; duty would be easy, and all the old
18362 calm purposes would reign peacefully once more. She re-entered the
18363 drawing-room still with some excited brightness in her face, but with
18364 a sense of proud self-command that defied anything to agitate her. She
18365 refused to dance again, but she talked quite readily and calmly with
18366 every one who addressed her. And when they got home that night, she
18367 kissed Lucy with a free heart, almost exulting in this scorching
18368 moment, which had delivered her from the possibility of another word
18369 or look that would have the stamp of treachery toward that gentle,
18370 unsuspicious sister.
18371
18372 The next morning Maggie did not set off to Basset quite so soon as she
18373 had expected. Her mother was to accompany her in the carriage, and
18374 household business could not be dispatched hastily by Mrs. Tulliver.
18375 So Maggie, who had been in a hurry to prepare herself, had to sit
18376 waiting, equipped for the drive, in the garden. Lucy was busy in the
18377 house wrapping up some bazaar presents for the younger ones at Basset,
18378 and when there was a loud ring at the door-bell, Maggie felt some
18379 alarm lest Lucy should bring out Stephen to her; it was sure to be
18380 Stephen.
18381
18382 But presently the visitor came out into the garden alone, and seated
18383 himself by her on the garden-chair. It was not Stephen.
18384
18385 "We can just catch the tips of the Scotch firs, Maggie, from this
18386 seat," said Philip.
18387
18388 They had taken each other's hands in silence, but Maggie had looked at
18389 him with a more complete revival of the old childlike affectionate
18390 smile than he had seen before, and he felt encouraged.
18391
18392 "Yes," she said, "I often look at them, and wish I could see the low
18393 sunlight on the stems again. But I have never been that way but
18394 once,--to the churchyard with my mother."
18395
18396 "I have been there, I go there, continually," said Philip. "I have
18397 nothing but the past to live upon."
18398
18399 A keen remembrance and keen pity impelled Maggie to put her hand in
18400 Philip's. They had so often walked hand in hand!
18401
18402 "I remember all the spots," she said,--"just where you told me of
18403 particular things, beautiful stories that I had never heard of
18404 before."
18405
18406 "You will go there again soon, won't you, Maggie?" said Philip,
18407 getting timid. "The Mill will soon be your brother's home again."
18408
18409 "Yes; but I shall not be there," said Maggie. "I shall only hear of
18410 that happiness. I am going away again; Lucy has not told you,
18411 perhaps?"
18412
18413 "Then the future will never join on to the past again, Maggie? That
18414 book is quite closed?"
18415
18416 The gray eyes that had so often looked up at her with entreating
18417 worship, looked up at her now, with a last struggling ray of hope in
18418 them, and Maggie met them with her large sincere gaze.
18419
18420 "That book never will be closed, Philip," she said, with grave
18421 sadness; "I desire no future that will break the ties of the past. But
18422 the tie to my brother is one of the strongest. I can do nothing
18423 willingly that will divide me always from him."
18424
18425 "Is that the only reason that would keep us apart forever, Maggie?"
18426 said Philip, with a desperate determination to have a definite answer.
18427
18428 "The only reason," said Maggie, with calm decision. And she believed
18429 it. At that moment she felt as if the enchanted cup had been dashed to
18430 the ground. The reactionary excitement that gave her a proud
18431 self-mastery had not subsided, and she looked at the future with a
18432 sense of calm choice.
18433
18434 They sat hand in hand without looking at each other or speaking for a
18435 few minutes; in Maggie's mind the first scenes of love and parting
18436 were more present than the actual moment, and she was looking at
18437 Philip in the Red Deeps.
18438
18439 Philip felt that he ought to have been thoroughly happy in that answer
18440 of hers; she was as open and transparent as a rock-pool. Why was he
18441 not thoroughly happy? Jealousy is never satisfied with anything short
18442 of an omniscience that would detect the subtlest fold of the heart.
18443
18444
18445
18446 Chapter XI
18447
18448 In the Lane
18449
18450
18451 Maggie had been four days at her aunt Moss's giving the early June
18452 sunshine quite a new brightness in the care-dimmed eyes of that
18453 affectionate woman, and making an epoch for her cousins great and
18454 small, who were learning her words and actions by heart, as if she had
18455 been a transient avatar of perfect wisdom and beauty.
18456
18457 She was standing on the causeway with her aunt and a group of cousins
18458 feeding the chickens, at that quiet moment in the life of the
18459 farmyards before the afternoon milking-time. The great buildings round
18460 the hollow yard were as dreary and tumbledown as ever, but over the
18461 old garden-wall the straggling rose-bushes were beginning to toss
18462 their summer weight, and the gray wood and old bricks of the house, on
18463 its higher level, had a look of sleepy age in the broad afternoon
18464 sunlight, that suited the quiescent time. Maggie, with her bonnet over
18465 her arm, was smiling down at the hatch of small fluffy chickens, when
18466 her aunt exclaimed,--
18467
18468 "Goodness me! who is that gentleman coming in at the gate?"
18469
18470 It was a gentleman on a tall bay horse; and the flanks and neck of the
18471 horse were streaked black with fast riding. Maggie felt a beating at
18472 head and heart, horrible as the sudden leaping to life of a savage
18473 enemy who had feigned death.
18474
18475 "Who is it, my dear?" said Mrs. Moss, seeing in Maggie's face the
18476 evidence that she knew.
18477
18478 "It is Mr. Stephen Guest," said Maggie, rather faintly. "My cousin
18479 Lucy's--a gentleman who is very intimate at my cousin's."
18480
18481 Stephen was already close to them, had jumped off his horse, and now
18482 raised his hat as he advanced.
18483
18484 "Hold the horse, Willy," said Mrs. Moss to the twelve-year-old boy.
18485
18486 "No, thank you," said Stephen, pulling at the horse's impatiently
18487 tossing head. "I must be going again immediately. I have a message to
18488 deliver to you, Miss Tulliver, on private business. May I take the
18489 liberty of asking you to walk a few yards with me?"
18490
18491 He had a half-jaded, half-irritated look, such as a man gets when he
18492 has been dogged by some care or annoyance that makes his bed and his
18493 dinner of little use to him. He spoke almost abruptly, as if his
18494 errand were too pressing for him to trouble himself about what would
18495 be thought by Mrs. Moss of his visit and request. Good Mrs. Moss,
18496 rather nervous in the presence of this apparently haughty gentleman,
18497 was inwardly wondering whether she would be doing right or wrong to
18498 invite him again to leave his horse and walk in, when Maggie, feeling
18499 all the embarrassment of the situation, and unable to say anything,
18500 put on her bonnet, and turned to walk toward the gate.
18501
18502 Stephen turned too, and walked by her side, leading his horse.
18503
18504 Not a word was spoken till they were out in the lane, and had walked
18505 four or five yards, when Maggie, who had been looking straight before
18506 her all the while, turned again to walk back, saying, with haughty
18507 resentment,--
18508
18509 "There is no need for me to go any farther. I don't know whether you
18510 consider it gentlemanly and delicate conduct to place me in a position
18511 that forced me to come out with you, or whether you wished to insult
18512 me still further by thrusting an interview upon me in this way."
18513
18514 "Of course you are angry with me for coming," said Stephen, bitterly.
18515 "Of course it is of no consequence what a man has to suffer; it is
18516 only your woman's dignity that you care about."
18517
18518 Maggie gave a slight start, such as might have come from the slightest
18519 possible electric shock.
18520
18521 "As if it were not enough that I'm entangled in this way; that I'm mad
18522 with love for you; that I resist the strongest passion a man can feel,
18523 because I try to be true to other claims; but you must treat me as if
18524 I were a coarse brute, who would willingly offend you. And when, if I
18525 had my own choice, I should ask you to take my hand and my fortune and
18526 my whole life, and do what you liked with them! I know I forgot
18527 myself. I took an unwarrantable liberty. I hate myself for having done
18528 it. But I repented immediately; I've been repenting ever since. You
18529 ought not to think it unpardonable; a man who loves with his whole
18530 soul, as I do you, is liable to be mastered by his feelings for a
18531 moment; but you know--you must believe--that the worst pain I could
18532 have is to have pained you; that I would give the world to recall the
18533 error."
18534
18535 Maggie dared not speak, dared not turn her head. The strength that had
18536 come from resentment was all gone, and her lips were quivering
18537 visibly. She could not trust herself to utter the full forgiveness
18538 that rose in answer to that confession.
18539
18540 They were come nearly in front of the gate again, and she paused,
18541 trembling.
18542
18543 "You must not say these things; I must not hear them," she said,
18544 looking down in misery, as Stephen came in front of her, to prevent
18545 her from going farther toward the gate. "I'm very sorry for any pain
18546 you have to go through; but it is of no use to speak."
18547
18548 "Yes, it _is_ of use," said Stephen, impetuously. "It would be of use
18549 if you would treat me with some sort of pity and consideration,
18550 instead of doing me vile injustice in your mind. I could bear
18551 everything more quietly if I knew you didn't hate me for an insolent
18552 coxcomb. Look at me; see what a hunted devil I am; I've been riding
18553 thirty miles every day to get away from the thought of you."
18554
18555 Maggie did not--dared not--look. She had already seen the harassed
18556 face. But she said gently,--
18557
18558 "I don't think any evil of you."
18559
18560 "Then, dearest, look at me," said Stephen, in deepest, tenderest tones
18561 of entreaty. "Don't go away from me yet. Give me a moment's happiness;
18562 make me feel you've forgiven me."
18563
18564 "Yes, I do forgive you," said Maggie, shaken by those tones, and all
18565 the more frightened at herself. "But pray let me go in again. Pray go
18566 away."
18567
18568 A great tear fell from under her lowered eyelids.
18569
18570 "I can't go away from you; I can't leave you," said Stephen, with
18571 still more passionate pleading. "I shall come back again if you send
18572 me away with this coldness; I can't answer for myself. But if you will
18573 go with me only a little way I can live on that. You see plainly
18574 enough that your anger has only made me ten times more unreasonable."
18575
18576 Maggie turned. But Tancred, the bay horse, began to make such spirited
18577 remonstrances against this frequent change of direction, that Stephen,
18578 catching sight of Willy Moss peeping through the gate, called out,
18579 "Here! just come and hold my horse for five minutes."
18580
18581 "Oh, no," said Maggie, hurriedly, "my aunt will think it so strange."
18582
18583 "Never mind," Stephen answered impatiently; "they don't know the
18584 people at St. Ogg's. Lead him up and down just here for five minutes,"
18585 he added to Willy, who was now close to them; and then he turned to
18586 Maggie's side, and they walked on. It was clear that she _must_ go on
18587 now.
18588
18589 "Take my arm," said Stephen, entreatingly; and she took it, feeling
18590 all the while as if she were sliding downward in a nightmare.
18591
18592 "There is no end to this misery," she began, struggling to repel the
18593 influence by speech. "It is wicked--base--ever allowing a word or look
18594 that Lucy--that others might not have seen. Think of Lucy."
18595
18596 "I do think of her--bless her. If I didn't----" Stephen had laid his
18597 hand on Maggie's that rested on his arm, and they both felt it
18598 difficult to speak.
18599
18600 "And I have other ties," Maggie went on, at last, with a desperate
18601 effort, "even if Lucy did not exist."
18602
18603 "You are engaged to Philip Wakem?" said Stephen, hastily. "Is it so?"
18604
18605 "I consider myself engaged to him; I don't mean to marry any one
18606 else."
18607
18608 Stephen was silent again until they had turned out of the sun into a
18609 side lane, all grassy and sheltered. Then he burst out impetuously,--
18610
18611 "It is unnatural, it is horrible. Maggie, if you loved me as I love
18612 you, we should throw everything else to the winds for the sake of
18613 belonging to each other. We should break all these mistaken ties that
18614 were made in blindness, and determine to marry each other."
18615
18616 "I would rather die than fall into that temptation," said Maggie, with
18617 deep, slow distinctness, all the gathered spiritual force of painful
18618 years coming to her aid in this extremity. She drew her arm from his
18619 as she spoke.
18620
18621 "Tell me, then, that you don't care for me," he said, almost
18622 violently. "Tell me that you love some one else better."
18623
18624 It darted through Maggie's mind that here was a mode of releasing
18625 herself from outward struggle,--to tell Stephen that her whole heart
18626 was Philip's. But her lips would not utter that, and she was silent.
18627
18628 "If you do love me, dearest," said Stephen, gently, taking her hand
18629 again and laying it within his arm, "it is better--it is right that we
18630 should marry each other. We can't help the pain it will give. It is
18631 come upon us without our seeking; it is natural; it has taken hold of
18632 me in spite of every effort I have made to resist it. God knows, I've
18633 been trying to be faithful to tacit engagements, and I've only made
18634 things worse; I'd better have given way at first."
18635
18636 Maggie was silent. If it were _not_ wrong--if she were once convinced
18637 of that, and need no longer beat and struggle against this current,
18638 soft and yet strong as the summer stream!
18639
18640 "Say 'yes,' dearest," said Stephen, leaning to look entreatingly in
18641 her face. "What could we care about in the whole world beside, if we
18642 belonged to each other?"
18643
18644 Her breath was on his face, his lips were very near hers, but there
18645 was a great dread dwelling in his love for her.
18646
18647 Her lips and eyelids quivered; she opened her eyes full on his for an
18648 instant, like a lovely wild animal timid and struggling under
18649 caresses, and then turned sharp round toward home again.
18650
18651 "And after all," he went on, in an impatient tone, trying to defeat
18652 his own scruples as well as hers, "I am breaking no positive
18653 engagement; if Lucy's affections had been withdrawn from me and given
18654 to some one else, I should have felt no right to assert a claim on
18655 her. If you are not absolutely pledged to Philip, we are neither of us
18656 bound."
18657
18658 "You don't believe that; it is not your real feeling," said Maggie,
18659 earnestly. "You feel, as I do, that the real tie lies in the feelings
18660 and expectations we have raised in other minds. Else all pledges might
18661 be broken, when there was no outward penalty. There would be no such
18662 thing as faithfulness."
18663
18664 Stephen was silent; he could not pursue that argument; the opposite
18665 conviction had wrought in him too strongly through his previous time
18666 of struggle. But it soon presented itself in a new form.
18667
18668 "The pledge _can't_ be fulfilled," he said, with impetuous insistence.
18669 "It is unnatural; we can only pretend to give ourselves to any one
18670 else. There is wrong in that too; there may be misery in it for _them_
18671 as well as for us. Maggie, you must see that; you do see that."
18672
18673 He was looking eagerly at her face for the least sign of compliance;
18674 his large, firm, gentle grasp was on her hand. She was silent for a
18675 few moments, with her eyes fixed on the ground; then she drew a deep
18676 breath, and said, looking up at him with solemn sadness,--
18677
18678 "Oh, it is difficult,--life is very difficult! It seems right to me
18679 sometimes that we should follow our strongest feeling; but then, such
18680 feelings continually come across the ties that all our former life has
18681 made for us,--the ties that have made others dependent on us,--and
18682 would cut them in two. If life were quite easy and simple, as it might
18683 have been in Paradise, and we could always see that one being first
18684 toward whom--I mean, if life did not make duties for us before love
18685 comes, love would be a sign that two people ought to belong to each
18686 other. But I see--I feel it is not so now; there are things we must
18687 renounce in life; some of us must resign love. Many things are
18688 difficult and dark to me; but I see one thing quite clearly,--that I
18689 must not, cannot, seek my own happiness by sacrificing others. Love is
18690 natural; but surely pity and faithfulness and memory are natural too.
18691 And they would live in me still, and punish me if I did not obey them.
18692 I should be haunted by the suffering I had caused. Our love would be
18693 poisoned. Don't urge me; help me,--help me, _because_ I love you."
18694
18695 Maggie had become more and more earnest as she went on; her face had
18696 become flushed, and her eyes fuller and fuller of appealing love.
18697 Stephen had the fibre of nobleness in him that vibrated to her appeal;
18698 but in the same moment--how could it be otherwise?--that pleading
18699 beauty gained new power over him.
18700
18701 "Dearest," he said, in scarcely more than a whisper, while his arm
18702 stole round her, "I'll do, I'll bear anything you wish. But--one
18703 kiss--one--the last--before we part."
18704
18705 One kiss, and then a long look, until Maggie said tremulously, "Let me
18706 go,--let me make haste back."
18707
18708 She hurried along, and not another word was spoken. Stephen stood
18709 still and beckoned when they came within sight of Willy and the horse,
18710 and Maggie went on through the gate. Mrs. Moss was standing alone at
18711 the door of the old porch; she had sent all the cousins in, with kind
18712 thoughtfulness. It might be a joyful thing that Maggie had a rich and
18713 handsome lover, but she would naturally feel embarrassed at coming in
18714 again; and it might _not_ be joyful. In either case Mrs. Moss waited
18715 anxiously to receive Maggie by herself. The speaking face told plainly
18716 enough that, if there was joy, it was of a very agitating, dubious
18717 sort.
18718
18719 "Sit down here a bit, my dear." She drew Maggie into the porch, and
18720 sat down on the bench by her; there was no privacy in the house.
18721
18722 "Oh, aunt Gritty, I'm very wretched! I wish I could have died when I
18723 was fifteen. It seemed so easy to give things up then; it is so hard
18724 now."
18725
18726 The poor child threw her arms round her aunt's neck, and fell into
18727 long, deep sobs.
18728
18729
18730
18731 Chapter XII
18732
18733 A Family Party
18734
18735
18736 Maggie left her good aunt Gritty at the end of the week, and went to
18737 Garum Firs to pay her visit to aunt Pullet according to agreement. In
18738 the mean time very unexpected things had happened, and there was to be
18739 a family party at Garum to discuss and celebrate a change in the
18740 fortunes of the Tullivers, which was likely finally to carry away the
18741 shadow of their demerits like the last limb of an eclipse, and cause
18742 their hitherto obscured virtues to shine forth in full-rounded
18743 splendor. It is pleasant to know that a new ministry just come into
18744 office are not the only fellow-men who enjoy a period of high
18745 appreciation and full-blown eulogy; in many respectable families
18746 throughout this realm, relatives becoming creditable meet with a
18747 similar cordiality of recognition, which in its fine freedom from the
18748 coercion of any antecedents, suggests the hopeful possibility that we
18749 may some day without any notice find ourselves in full millennium,
18750 with cockatrices who have ceased to bite, and wolves that no longer
18751 show their teeth with any but the blandest intentions.
18752
18753 Lucy came so early as to have the start even of aunt Glegg; for she
18754 longed to have some undisturbed talk with Maggie about the wonderful
18755 news. It seemed, did it not? said Lucy, with her prettiest air of
18756 wisdom, as if everything, even other people's misfortunes (poor
18757 creatures!) were conspiring now to make poor dear aunt Tulliver, and
18758 cousin Tom, and naughty Maggie too, if she were not obstinately bent
18759 on the contrary, as happy as they deserved to be after all their
18760 troubles. To think that the very day--the _very day_--after Tom had
18761 come back from Newcastle, that unfortunate young Jetsome, whom Mr.
18762 Wakem had placed at the Mill, had been pitched off his horse in a
18763 drunken fit, and was lying at St. Ogg's in a dangerous state, so that
18764 Wakem had signified his wish that the new purchasers should enter on
18765 the premises at once!
18766
18767 It was very dreadful for that unhappy young man, but it did seem as if
18768 the misfortune had happened then, rather than at any other time, in
18769 order that cousin Tom might all the sooner have the fit reward of his
18770 exemplary conduct,--papa thought so very highly of him. Aunt Tulliver
18771 must certainly go to the Mill now, and keep house for Tom; that was
18772 rather a loss to Lucy in the matter of household comfort; but then, to
18773 think of poor aunty being in her old place again, and gradually
18774 getting comforts about her there!
18775
18776 On this last point Lucy had her cunning projects, and when she and
18777 Maggie had made their dangerous way down the bright stairs into the
18778 handsome parlor, where the very sunbeams seemed cleaner than
18779 elsewhere, she directed her manœuvres, as any other great tactician
18780 would have done, against the weaker side of the enemy.
18781
18782 "Aunt Pullet," she said, seating herself on the sofa, and caressingly
18783 adjusting that lady's floating cap-string, "I want you to make up your
18784 mind what linen and things you will give Tom toward housekeeping;
18785 because you are always so generous,--you give such nice things, you
18786 know; and if you set the example, aunt Glegg will follow."
18787
18788 "That she never can, my dear," said Mrs. Pullet, with unusual vigor,
18789 "for she hasn't got the linen to follow suit wi' mine, I can tell you.
18790 She'd niver the taste, not if she'd spend the money. Big checks and
18791 live things, like stags and foxes, all her table-linen is,--not a spot
18792 nor a diamond among 'em. But it's poor work dividing one's linen
18793 before one dies,--I niver thought to ha' done that, Bessy," Mrs.
18794 Pullet continued, shaking her head and looking at her sister Tulliver,
18795 "when you and me chose the double diamont, the first flax iver we'd
18796 spun, and the Lord knows where yours is gone."
18797
18798 "I'd no choice, I'm sure, sister," said poor Mrs. Tulliver, accustomed
18799 to consider herself in the light of an accused person. "I'm sure it
18800 was no wish o' mine, iver, as I should lie awake o' nights thinking o'
18801 my best bleached linen all over the country."
18802
18803 "Take a peppermint, Mrs. Tulliver," said uncle Pullet, feeling that he
18804 was offering a cheap and wholesome form of comfort, which he was
18805 recommending by example.
18806
18807 "Oh, but, aunt Pullet," said Lucy, "you've so much beautiful linen.
18808 And suppose you had had daughters! Then you must have divided it when
18809 they were married."
18810
18811 "Well, I don't say as I won't do it," said Mrs. Pullet, "for now Tom's
18812 so lucky, it's nothing but right his friends should look on him and
18813 help him. There's the tablecloths I bought at your sale, Bessy; it was
18814 nothing but good natur' o' me to buy 'em, for they've been lying in
18815 the chest ever since. But I'm not going to give Maggie any more o' my
18816 Indy muslin and things, if she's to go into service again, when she
18817 might stay and keep me company, and do my sewing for me, if she wasn't
18818 wanted at her brother's."
18819
18820 "Going into service" was the expression by which the Dodson mind
18821 represented to itself the position of teacher or governess; and
18822 Maggie's return to that menial condition, now circumstances offered
18823 her more eligible prospects, was likely to be a sore point with all
18824 her relatives, besides Lucy. Maggie in her crude form, with her hair
18825 down her back, and altogether in a state of dubious promise, was a
18826 most undesirable niece; but now she was capable of being at once
18827 ornamental and useful. The subject was revived in aunt and uncle
18828 Glegg's presence, over the tea and muffins.
18829
18830 "Hegh, hegh!" said Mr. Glegg, good-naturedly patting Maggie on the
18831 back, "nonsense, nonsense! Don't let us hear of you taking a place
18832 again, Maggie. Why, you must ha' picked up half-a-dozen sweethearts at
18833 the bazaar; isn't there one of 'em the right sort of article? Come,
18834 now?"
18835
18836 "Mr. Glegg," said his wife, with that shade of increased politeness in
18837 her severity which she always put on with her crisper fronts, "you'll
18838 excuse me, but you're far too light for a man of your years. It's
18839 respect and duty to her aunts, and the rest of her kin as are so good
18840 to her, should have kept my niece from fixing about going away again
18841 without consulting us; not sweethearts, if I'm to use such a word,
18842 though it was never heared in _my_ family."
18843
18844 "Why, what did they call us, when we went to see 'em, then, eh,
18845 neighbor Pullet? They thought us sweet enough then," said Mr. Glegg,
18846 winking pleasantly; while Mr. Pullet, at the suggestion of sweetness,
18847 took a little more sugar.
18848
18849 "Mr. Glegg," said Mrs. G., "if you're going to be undelicate, let me
18850 know."
18851
18852 "La, Jane, your husband's only joking," said Mrs. Pullet; "let him
18853 joke while he's got health and strength. There's poor Mr. Tilt got his
18854 mouth drawn all o' one side, and couldn't laugh if he was to try."
18855
18856 "I'll trouble you for the muffineer, then, Mr. Glegg," said Mrs. G.,
18857 "if I may be so bold to interrupt your joking. Though it's other
18858 people must see the joke in a niece's putting a slight on her mother's
18859 eldest sister, as is the head o' the family; and only coming in and
18860 out on short visits, all the time she's been in the town, and then
18861 settling to go away without my knowledge,--as I'd laid caps out on
18862 purpose for her to make 'em up for me,--and me as have divided my
18863 money so equal----"
18864
18865 "Sister," Mrs. Tulliver broke in anxiously, "I'm sure Maggie never
18866 thought o' going away without staying at your house as well as the
18867 others. Not as it's my wish she should go away at all, but quite
18868 contrairy. I'm sure I'm innocent. I've said over and over again, 'My
18869 dear, you've no call to go away.' But there's ten days or a fortnight
18870 Maggie'll have before she's fixed to go; she can stay at your house
18871 just as well, and I'll step in when I can, and so will Lucy."
18872
18873 "Bessy," said Mrs. Glegg, "if you'd exercise a little more thought,
18874 you might know I should hardly think it was worth while to unpin a
18875 bed, and go to all that trouble now, just at the end o' the time, when
18876 our house isn't above a quarter of an hour's walk from Mr. Deane's.
18877 She can come the first thing in the morning, and go back the last at
18878 night, and be thankful she's got a good aunt so close to her to come
18879 and sit with. I know _I_ should, when I was her age."
18880
18881 "La, Jane," said Mrs. Pullet, "it 'ud do your beds good to have
18882 somebody to sleep in 'em. There's that striped room smells dreadful
18883 mouldy, and the glass mildewed like anything. I'm sure I thought I
18884 should be struck with death when you took me in."
18885
18886 "Oh, there is Tom!" exclaimed Lucy, clapping her hands. "He's come on
18887 Sindbad, as I told him. I was afraid he was not going to keep his
18888 promise."
18889
18890 Maggie jumped up to kiss Tom as he entered, with strong feeling, at
18891 this first meeting since the prospect of returning to the Mill had
18892 been opened to him; and she kept his hand, leading him to the chair by
18893 her side. To have no cloud between herself and Tom was still a
18894 perpetual yearning in her, that had its root deeper than all change.
18895 He smiled at her very kindly this evening, and said, "Well, Magsie,
18896 how's aunt Moss?"
18897
18898 "Come, come, sir," said Mr. Glegg putting out his hand. "Why, you're
18899 such a big man, you carry all before you, it, seems. You're come into
18900 your luck a good deal earlier than us old folks did; but I wish you
18901 joy, I wish you joy. You'll get the Mill all for your own again some
18902 day, I'll be bound. You won't stop half-way up the hill."
18903
18904 "But I hope he'll bear in mind as it's his mother's family as he owes
18905 it to," said Mrs. Glegg. "If he hadn't had them to take after, he'd
18906 ha' been poorly off. There was never any failures, nor lawing, nor
18907 wastefulness in our family, nor dying without wills----"
18908
18909 "No, nor sudden deaths," said aunt Pullet; "allays the doctor called
18910 in. But Tom had the Dodson skin; I said that from the first. And I
18911 don't know what _you_ mean to do, sister Glegg, but I mean to give him
18912 a tablecloth of all my three biggest sizes but one, besides sheets. I
18913 don't say what more I shall do; but _that_ I shall do, and if I should
18914 die to-morrow, Mr. Pullet, you'll bear it in mind,--though you'll be
18915 blundering with the keys, and never remember as that on the third
18916 shelf o' the left-hand wardrobe, behind the night-caps with the broad
18917 ties,--not the narrow-frilled uns,--is the key of the drawer in the
18918 Blue Room, where the key o' the Blue Closet is. You'll make a mistake,
18919 and I shall niver be worthy to know it. You've a memory for my pills
18920 and draughts, wonderful,--I'll allays say that of you,--but you're
18921 lost among the keys." This gloomy prospect of the confusion that would
18922 ensue on her decease was very affecting to Mrs. Pullet.
18923
18924 "You carry it too far, Sophy,--that locking in and out," said Mrs.
18925 Glegg, in a tone of some disgust at this folly. "You go beyond your
18926 own family. There's nobody can say I don't lock up; but I do what's
18927 reasonable, and no more. And as for the linen, I shall look out what's
18928 serviceable, to make a present of to my nephey; I've got cloth as has
18929 never been whitened, better worth having than other people's fine
18930 holland; and I hope he'll lie down in it and think of his aunt."
18931
18932 Tom thanked Mrs. Glegg, but evaded any promise to meditate nightly on
18933 her virtues; and Mrs. Glegg effected a diversion for him by asking
18934 about Mr. Deane's intentions concerning steam.
18935
18936 Lucy had had her far-sighted views in begging Tom to come on Sindbad.
18937 It appeared, when it was time to go home, that the man-servant was to
18938 ride the horse, and cousin Tom was to drive home his mother and Lucy.
18939 "You must sit by yourself, aunty," said that contriving young lady,
18940 "because I must sit by Tom; I've a great deal to say to him."
18941
18942 In the eagerness of her affectionate anxiety for Maggie, Lucy could
18943 not persuade herself to defer a conversation about her with Tom, who,
18944 she thought, with such a cup of joy before him as this rapid
18945 fulfilment of his wish about the Mill, must become pliant and
18946 flexible. Her nature supplied her with no key to Tom's; and she was
18947 puzzled as well as pained to notice the unpleasant change on his
18948 countenance when she gave him the history of the way in which Philip
18949 had used his influence with his father. She had counted on this
18950 revelation as a great stroke of policy, which was to turn Tom's heart
18951 toward Philip at once, and, besides that, prove that the elder Wakem
18952 was ready to receive Maggie with all the honors of a daughter-in-law.
18953 Nothing was wanted, then, but for dear Tom, who always had that
18954 pleasant smile when he looked at cousin Lucy, to turn completely
18955 round, say the opposite of what he had always said before, and declare
18956 that he, for his part, was delighted that all the old grievances
18957 should be healed, and that Maggie should have Philip with all suitable
18958 despatch; in cousin Lucy's opinion nothing could be easier.
18959
18960 But to minds strongly marked by the positive and negative qualities
18961 that create severity,--strength of will, conscious rectitude of
18962 purpose, narrowness of imagination and intellect, great power of
18963 self-control, and a disposition to exert control over others,--prejudices
18964 come as the natural food of tendencies which can get no sustenance
18965 out of that complex, fragmentary, doubt-provoking knowledge which
18966 we call truth. Let a prejudice be bequeathed, carried in the air,
18967 adopted by hearsay, caught in through the eye,--however it may come,
18968 these minds will give it a habitation; it is something to assert
18969 strongly and bravely, something to fill up the void of spontaneous
18970 ideas, something to impose on others with the authority of conscious
18971 right; it is at once a staff and a baton. Every prejudice that will
18972 answer these purposes is self-evident. Our good, upright Tom Tulliver's
18973 mind was of this class; his inward criticism of his father's faults
18974 did not prevent him from adopting his father's prejudice; it was a
18975 prejudice against a man of lax principle and lax life, and it was a
18976 meeting-point for all the disappointed feelings of family and personal
18977 pride. Other feelings added their force to produce Tom's bitter
18978 repugnance to Philip, and to Maggie's union with him; and
18979 notwithstanding Lucy's power over her strong-willed cousin, she got
18980 nothing but a cold refusal ever to sanction such a marriage; "but of
18981 course Maggie could do as she liked,--she had declared her
18982 determination to be independent. For Tom's part, he held himself bound
18983 by his duty to his father's memory, and by every manly feeling, never
18984 to consent to any relation with the Wakems."
18985
18986 Thus, all that Lucy had effected by her zealous mediation was to fill
18987 Tom's mind with the expectation that Maggie's perverse resolve to go
18988 into a situation again would presently metamorphose itself, as her
18989 resolves were apt to do, into something equally perverse, but entirely
18990 different,--a marriage with Philip Wakem.
18991
18992
18993
18994 Chapter XIII
18995
18996 Borne Along by the Tide
18997
18998
18999 In less than a week Maggie was at St. Ogg's again,--outwardly in much
19000 the same position as when her visit there had just begun. It was easy
19001 for her to fill her mornings apart from Lucy without any obvious
19002 effort; for she had her promised visits to pay to her aunt Glegg, and
19003 it was natural that she should give her mother more than usual of her
19004 companionship in these last weeks, especially as there were
19005 preparations to be thought of for Tom's housekeeping. But Lucy would
19006 hear of no pretext for her remaining away in the evenings; she must
19007 always come from aunt Glegg's before dinner,--"else what shall I have
19008 of you?" said Lucy, with a tearful pout that could not be resisted.
19009
19010 And Mr. Stephen Guest had unaccountably taken to dining at Mr. Deane's
19011 as often as possible, instead of avoiding that, as he used to do. At
19012 first he began his mornings with a resolution that he would not dine
19013 there, not even go in the evening, till Maggie was away. He had even
19014 devised a plan of starting off on a journey in this agreeable June
19015 weather; the headaches which he had constantly been alleging as a
19016 ground for stupidity and silence were a sufficient ostensible motive.
19017 But the journey was not taken, and by the fourth morning no distinct
19018 resolution was formed about the evenings; they were only foreseen as
19019 times when Maggie would still be present for a little while,--when one
19020 more touch, one more glance, might be snatched. For why not? There was
19021 nothing to conceal between them; they knew, they had confessed their
19022 love, and they had renounced each other; they were going to part.
19023 Honor and conscience were going to divide them; Maggie, with that
19024 appeal from her inmost soul, had decided it; but surely they might
19025 cast a lingering look at each other across the gulf, before they
19026 turned away never to look again till that strange light had forever
19027 faded out of their eyes.
19028
19029 Maggie, all this time, moved about with a quiescence and even torpor
19030 of manner, so contrasted with her usual fitful brightness and ardor,
19031 that Lucy would have had to seek some other cause for such a change,
19032 if she had not been convinced that the position in which Maggie stood
19033 between Philip and her brother, and the prospect of her self-imposed
19034 wearisome banishment, were quite enough to account for a large amount
19035 of depression. But under this torpor there was a fierce battle of
19036 emotions, such as Maggie in all her life of struggle had never known
19037 or foreboded; it seemed to her as if all the worst evil in her had
19038 lain in ambush till now, and had suddenly started up full-armed, with
19039 hideous, overpowering strength! There were moments in which a cruel
19040 selfishness seemed to be getting possession of her; why should not
19041 Lucy, why should not Philip, suffer? _She_ had had to suffer through
19042 many years of her life; and who had renounced anything for her? And
19043 when something like that fulness of existence--love, wealth, ease,
19044 refinement, all that her nature craved--was brought within her reach,
19045 why was she to forego it, that another might have it,--another, who
19046 perhaps needed it less? But amidst all this new passionate tumult
19047 there were the old voices making themselves heard with rising power,
19048 till, from time to time, the tumult seemed quelled. _Was_ that
19049 existence which tempted her the full existence she dreamed? Where,
19050 then, would be all the memories of early striving; all the deep pity
19051 for another's pain, which had been nurtured in her through years of
19052 affection and hardship; all the divine presentiment of something
19053 higher than mere personal enjoyment, which had made the sacredness of
19054 life? She might as well hope to enjoy walking by maiming her feet, as
19055 hope to enjoy an existence in which she set out by maiming the faith
19056 and sympathy that were the best organs of her soul. And then, if pain
19057 were so hard to _her_, what was it to others? "Ah, God! preserve me
19058 from inflicting--give me strength to bear it." How had she sunk into
19059 this struggle with a temptation that she would once have thought
19060 herself as secure from as from deliberate crime? When was that first
19061 hateful moment in which she had been conscious of a feeling that
19062 clashed with her truth, affection, and gratitude, and had not shaken
19063 it from her with horror, as if it had been a loathsome thing? And yet,
19064 since this strange, sweet, subduing influence did not, should not,
19065 conquer her,--since it was to remain simply her own suffering,--her
19066 mind was meeting Stephen's in that thought of his, that they might
19067 still snatch moments of mute confession before the parting came. For
19068 was not he suffering too? She saw it daily--saw it in the sickened
19069 look of fatigue with which, as soon as he was not compelled to exert
19070 himself, he relapsed into indifference toward everything but the
19071 possibility of watching her. Could she refuse sometimes to answer that
19072 beseeching look which she felt to be following her like a low murmur
19073 of love and pain? She refused it less and less, till at last the
19074 evening for them both was sometimes made of a moment's mutual gaze;
19075 they thought of it till it came, and when it had come, they thought of
19076 nothing else.
19077
19078 One other thing Stephen seemed now and then to care for, and that was
19079 to sing; it was a way of speaking to Maggie. Perhaps he was not
19080 distinctly conscious that he was impelled to it by a secret
19081 longing--running counter to all his self-confessed resolves--to deepen
19082 the hold he had on her. Watch your own speech, and notice how it is
19083 guided by your less conscious purposes, and you will understand that
19084 contradiction in Stephen.
19085
19086 Philip Wakem was a less frequent visitor, but he came occasionally in
19087 the evening, and it happened that he was there when Lucy said, as they
19088 sat out on the lawn, near sunset,--
19089
19090 "Now Maggie's tale of visits to aunt Glegg is completed, I mean that
19091 we shall go out boating every day until she goes. She has not had half
19092 enough boating because of these tiresome visits, and she likes it
19093 better than anything. Don't you, Maggie?"
19094
19095 "Better than any sort of locomotion, I hope you mean," said Philip,
19096 smiling at Maggie, who was lolling backward in a low garden-chair;
19097 "else she will be selling her soul to that ghostly boatman who haunts
19098 the Floss, only for the sake of being drifted in a boat forever."
19099
19100 "Should you like to be her boatman?" said Lucy. "Because, if you
19101 would, you can come with us and take an oar. If the Floss were but a
19102 quiet lake instead of a river, we should be independent of any
19103 gentleman, for Maggie can row splendidly. As it is, we are reduced to
19104 ask services of knights and squires, who do not seem to offer them
19105 with great alacrity."
19106
19107 She looked playful reproach at Stephen, who was sauntering up and
19108 down, and was just singing in pianissimo falsetto,--
19109
19110 "The thirst that from the soul doth rise
19111 Doth ask a drink divine."
19112
19113 He took no notice, but still kept aloof; he had done so frequently
19114 during Philip's recent visits.
19115
19116 "You don't seem inclined for boating," said Lucy, when he came to sit
19117 down by her on the bench. "Doesn't rowing suit you now?"
19118
19119 "Oh, I hate a large party in a boat," he said, almost irritably. "I'll
19120 come when you have no one else."
19121
19122 Lucy colored, fearing that Philip would be hurt; it was quite a new
19123 thing for Stephen to speak in that way; but he had certainly not been
19124 well of late. Philip colored too, but less from a feeling of personal
19125 offence than from a vague suspicion that Stephen's moodiness had some
19126 relation to Maggie, who had started up from her chair as he spoke, and
19127 had walked toward the hedge of laurels to look at the descending
19128 sunlight on the river.
19129
19130 "As Miss Deane didn't know she was excluding others by inviting me,"
19131 said Philip, "I am bound to resign."
19132
19133 "No, indeed, you shall not," said Lucy, much vexed. "I particularly
19134 wish for your company to-morrow. The tide will suit at half-past ten;
19135 it will be a delicious time for a couple of hours to row to Luckreth
19136 and walk back, before the sun gets too hot. And how can you object to
19137 four people in a boat?" she added, looking at Stephen.
19138
19139 "I don't object to the people, but the number," said Stephen, who had
19140 recovered himself, and was rather ashamed of his rudeness. "If I voted
19141 for a fourth at all, of course it would be you, Phil. But we won't
19142 divide the pleasure of escorting the ladies; we'll take it
19143 alternately. I'll go the next day."
19144
19145 This incident had the effect of drawing Philip's attention with
19146 freshened solicitude toward Stephen and Maggie; but when they
19147 re-entered the house, music was proposed, and Mrs. Tulliver and Mr.
19148 Deane being occupied with cribbage, Maggie sat apart near the table
19149 where the books and work were placed, doing nothing, however, but
19150 listening abstractedly to the music. Stephen presently turned to a
19151 duet which he insisted that Lucy and Philip should sing; he had often
19152 done the same thing before; but this evening Philip thought he divined
19153 some double intention in every word and look of Stephen's, and watched
19154 him keenly, angry with himself all the while for this clinging
19155 suspicion. For had not Maggie virtually denied any ground for his
19156 doubts on her side? And she was truth itself; it was impossible not to
19157 believe her word and glance when they had last spoken together in the
19158 garden. Stephen might be strongly fascinated by her (what was more
19159 natural?), but Philip felt himself rather base for intruding on what
19160 must be his friend's painful secret. Still he watched. Stephen, moving
19161 away from the piano, sauntered slowly toward the table near which
19162 Maggie sat, and turned over the newspapers, apparently in mere
19163 idleness. Then he seated himself with his back to the piano, dragging
19164 a newspaper under his elbow, and thrusting his hand through his hair,
19165 as if he had been attracted by some bit of local news in the "Laceham
19166 Courier." He was in reality looking at Maggie who had not taken the
19167 slightest notice of his approach. She had always additional strength
19168 of resistance when Philip was present, just as we can restrain our
19169 speech better in a spot that we feel to be hallowed. But at last she
19170 heard the word "dearest" uttered in the softest tone of pained
19171 entreaty, like that of a patient who asks for something that ought to
19172 have been given without asking. She had never heard that word since
19173 the moments in the lane at Basset, when it had come from Stephen again
19174 and again, almost as involuntarily as if it had been an inarticulate
19175 cry. Philip could hear no word, but he had moved to the opposite side
19176 of the piano, and could see Maggie start and blush, raise her eyes an
19177 instant toward Stephen's face, but immediately look apprehensively
19178 toward himself. It was not evident to her that Philip had observed
19179 her; but a pang of shame, under the sense of this concealment, made
19180 her move from her chair and walk to her mother's side to watch the
19181 game at cribbage.
19182
19183 Philip went home soon after in a state of hideous doubt mingled with
19184 wretched certainty. It was impossible for him now to resist the
19185 conviction that there was some mutual consciousness between Stephen
19186 and Maggie; and for half the night his irritable, susceptible nerves
19187 were pressed upon almost to frenzy by that one wretched fact; he could
19188 attempt no explanation that would reconcile it with her words and
19189 actions. When, at last, the need for belief in Maggie rose to its
19190 habitual predominance, he was not long in imagining the truth,--she
19191 was struggling, she was banishing herself; this was the clue to all he
19192 had seen since his return. But athwart that belief there came other
19193 possibilities that would not be driven out of sight. His imagination
19194 wrought out the whole story; Stephen was madly in love with her; he
19195 must have told her so; she had rejected him, and was hurrying away.
19196 But would he give her up, knowing--Philip felt the fact with
19197 heart-crushing despair--that she was made half helpless by her feeling
19198 toward him?
19199
19200 When the morning came, Philip was too ill to think of keeping his
19201 engagement to go in the boat. In his present agitation he could decide
19202 on nothing; he could only alternate between contradictory intentions.
19203 First, he thought he must have an interview with Maggie, and entreat
19204 her to confide in him; then, again, he distrusted his own
19205 interference. Had he not been thrusting himself on Maggie all along?
19206 She had uttered words long ago in her young ignorance; it was enough
19207 to make her hate him that these should be continually present with her
19208 as a bond. And had he any right to ask her for a revelation of
19209 feelings which she had evidently intended to withhold from him? He
19210 would not trust himself to see her, till he had assured himself that
19211 he could act from pure anxiety for her, and not from egoistic
19212 irritation. He wrote a brief note to Stephen, and sent it early by the
19213 servant, saying that he was not well enough to fulfil his engagement
19214 to Miss Deane. Would Stephen take his excuse, and fill his place?
19215
19216 Lucy had arranged a charming plan, which had made her quite content
19217 with Stephen's refusal to go in the boat. She discovered that her
19218 father was to drive to Lindum this morning at ten; Lindum was the very
19219 place she wanted to go to, to make purchases,--important purchases,
19220 which must by no means be put off to another opportunity; and aunt
19221 Tulliver must go too, because she was concerned in some of the
19222 purchases.
19223
19224 "You will have your row in the boat just the same, you know," she said
19225 to Maggie when they went out of the breakfast-room and upstairs
19226 together; "Philip will be here it half-past ten, and it is a delicious
19227 morning. Now don't say a word against it, you dear dolorous thing.
19228 What is the use of my being a fairy godmother, if you set your face
19229 against all the wonders I work for you? Don't think of awful cousin
19230 Tom; you may disobey him a little."
19231
19232 Maggie did not persist in objecting. She was almost glad of the plan,
19233 for perhaps it would bring her some strength and calmness to be alone
19234 with Philip again; it was like revisiting the scene of a quieter life,
19235 in which the very struggles were repose, compared with the daily
19236 tumult of the present. She prepared herself for the boat and at
19237 half-past ten sat waiting in the drawing-room.
19238
19239 The ring of the door-bell was punctual, and she was thinking with
19240 half-sad, affectionate pleasure of the surprise Philip would have in
19241 finding that he was to be with her alone, when she distinguished a
19242 firm, rapid step across the hall, that was certainly not Philip's; the
19243 door opened, and Stephen Guest entered.
19244
19245 In the first moment they were both too much agitated to speak; for
19246 Stephen had learned from the servant that the others were gone out.
19247 Maggie had started up and sat down again, with her heart beating
19248 violently; and Stephen, throwing down his cap and gloves, came and sat
19249 by her in silence. She thought Philip would be coming soon; and with
19250 great effort--for she trembled visibly--she rose to go to a distant
19251 chair.
19252
19253 "He is not coming," said Stephen, in a low tone. "I am going in the
19254 boat."
19255
19256 "Oh, we can't go," said Maggie, sinking into her chair again. "Lucy
19257 did not expect--she would be hurt. Why is not Philip come?"
19258
19259 "He is not well; he asked me to come instead."
19260
19261 "Lucy is gone to Lindum," said Maggie, taking off her bonnet with
19262 hurried, trembling fingers. "We must not go."
19263
19264 "Very well," said Stephen, dreamily, looking at her, as he rested his
19265 arm on the back of his chair. "Then we'll stay here."
19266
19267 He was looking into her deep, deep eyes, far off and mysterious at the
19268 starlit blackness, and yet very near, and timidly loving. Maggie sat
19269 perfectly still--perhaps for moments, perhaps for minutes--until the
19270 helpless trembling had ceased, and there was a warm glow on her check.
19271
19272 "The man is waiting; he has taken the cushions," she said. "Will you
19273 go and tell him?"
19274
19275 "What shall I tell him?" said Stephen, almost in a whisper. He was
19276 looking at the lips now.
19277
19278 Maggie made no answer.
19279
19280 "Let us go," Stephen murmured entreatingly, rising, and taking her
19281 hand to raise her too. "We shall not be long together."
19282
19283 And they went. Maggie felt that she was being led down the garden
19284 among the roses, being helped with firm, tender care into the boat,
19285 having the cushion and cloak arranged for her feet, and her parasol
19286 opened for her (which she had forgotten), all by this stronger
19287 presence that seemed to bear her along without any act of her own
19288 will, like the added self which comes with the sudden exalting
19289 influence of a strong tonic, and she felt nothing else. Memory was
19290 excluded.
19291
19292 They glided rapidly along, Stephen rowing, helped by the
19293 backward-flowing tide, past the Tofton trees and houses; on between
19294 the silent sunny fields and pastures, which seemed filled with a
19295 natural joy that had no reproach for theirs. The breath of the young,
19296 unwearied day, the delicious rhythmic dip of the oars, the fragmentary
19297 song of a passing bird heard now and then, as if it were only the
19298 overflowing of brimful gladness, the sweet solitude of a twofold
19299 consciousness that was mingled into one by that grave, untiring gaze
19300 which need not be averted,--what else could there be in their minds
19301 for the first hour? Some low, subdued, languid exclamation of love
19302 came from Stephen from time to time, as he went on rowing idly, half
19303 automatically; otherwise they spoke no word; for what could words have
19304 been but an inlet to thought? and thought did not belong to that
19305 enchanted haze in which they were enveloped,--it belonged to the past
19306 and the future that lay outside the haze. Maggie was only dimly
19307 conscious of the banks, as they passed them, and dwelt with no
19308 recognition on the villages; she knew there were several to be passed
19309 before they reached Luckreth, where they always stopped and left the
19310 boat. At all times she was so liable to fits of absence, that she was
19311 likely enough to let her waymarks pass unnoticed.
19312
19313 But at last Stephen, who had been rowing more and more idly, ceased to
19314 row, laid down the oars, folded his arms, and looked down on the water
19315 as if watching the pace at which the boat glided without his help.
19316 This sudden change roused Maggie. She looked at the far-stretching
19317 fields, at the banks close by, and felt that they were entirely
19318 strange to her. A terrible alarm took possession of her.
19319
19320 "Oh, have we passed Luckreth, where we were to stop?" she exclaimed,
19321 looking back to see if the place were out of sight. No village was to
19322 be seen. She turned around again, with a look of distressed
19323 questioning at Stephen.
19324
19325 He went on watching the water, and said, in a strange, dreamy, absent
19326 tone, "Yes, a long way."
19327
19328 "Oh, what shall I do?" cried Maggie, in an agony. "We shall not get
19329 home for hours, and Lucy? O God, help me!"
19330
19331 She clasped her hands and broke into a sob, like a frightened child;
19332 she thought of nothing but of meeting Lucy, and seeing her look of
19333 pained surprise and doubt, perhaps of just upbraiding.
19334
19335 Stephen moved and sat near her, and gently drew down the clasped
19336 hands.
19337
19338 "Maggie," he said, in a deep tone of slow decision, "let us never go
19339 home again, till no one can part us,--till we are married."
19340
19341 The unusual tone, the startling words, arrested Maggie's sob, and she
19342 sat quite still, wondering; as if Stephen might have seen some
19343 possibilities that would alter everything, and annul the wretched
19344 facts.
19345
19346 "See, Maggie, how everything has come without our seeking,--in spite
19347 of all our efforts. We never thought of being alone together again; it
19348 has all been done by others. See how the tide is carrying us out, away
19349 from all those unnatural bonds that we have been trying to make faster
19350 round us, and trying in vain. It will carry us on to Torby, and we can
19351 land there, and get some carriage, and hurry on to York and then to
19352 Scotland,--and never pause a moment till we are bound to each other,
19353 so that only death can part us. It is the only right thing, dearest;
19354 it is the only way of escaping from this wretched entanglement.
19355 Everything has concurred to point it out to us. We have contrived
19356 nothing, we have thought of nothing ourselves."
19357
19358 Stephen spoke with deep, earnest pleading. Maggie listened, passing
19359 from her startled wonderment to the yearning after that belief that
19360 the tide was doing it all, that she might glide along with the swift,
19361 silent stream, and not struggle any more. But across that stealing
19362 influence came the terrible shadow of past thoughts; and the sudden
19363 horror lest now, at last, the moment of fatal intoxication was close
19364 upon her, called up feelings of angry resistance toward Stephen.
19365
19366 "Let me go!" she said, in an agitated tone, flashing an indignant look
19367 at him, and trying to get her hands free. "You have wanted to deprive
19368 me of any choice. You knew we were come too far; you have dared to
19369 take advantage of my thoughtlessness. It is unmanly to bring me into
19370 such a position."
19371
19372 Stung by this reproach, he released her hands, moved back to his
19373 former place, and folded his arms, in a sort of desperation at the
19374 difficulty Maggie's words had made present to him. If she would not
19375 consent to go on, he must curse himself for the embarrassment he had
19376 led her into. But the reproach was the unendurable thing; the one
19377 thing worse than parting with her was, that she should feel he had
19378 acted unworthily toward her. At last he said, in a tone of suppressed
19379 rage,--
19380
19381 "I didn't notice that we had passed Luckreth till we had got to the
19382 next village; and then it came into my mind that we would go on. I
19383 can't justify it; I ought to have told you. It is enough to make you
19384 hate me, since you don't love me well enough to make everything else
19385 indifferent to you, as I do you. Shall I stop the boat and try to get
19386 you out here? I'll tell Lucy that I was mad, and that you hate me; and
19387 you shall be clear of me forever. No one can blame you, because I have
19388 behaved unpardonably to you."
19389
19390 Maggie was paralyzed; it was easier to resist Stephen's pleading than
19391 this picture he had called up of himself suffering while she was
19392 vindicated; easier even to turn away from his look of tenderness than
19393 from this look of angry misery, that seemed to place her in selfish
19394 isolation from him. He had called up a state of feeling in which the
19395 reasons which had acted on her conscience seemed to be transmitted
19396 into mere self-regard. The indignant fire in her eyes was quenched,
19397 and she began to look at him with timid distress. She had reproached
19398 him for being hurried into irrevocable trespass,--she, who had been so
19399 weak herself.
19400
19401 "As if I shouldn't feel what happened to you--just the same," she
19402 said, with reproach of another kind,--the reproach of love, asking for
19403 more trust. This yielding to the idea of Stephen's suffering was more
19404 fatal than the other yielding, because it was less distinguishable
19405 from that sense of others' claims which was the moral basis of her
19406 resistance.
19407
19408 He felt all the relenting in her look and tone; it was heaven opening
19409 again. He moved to her side, and took her hand, leaning his elbow on
19410 the back of the boat, and saying nothing. He dreaded to utter another
19411 word, he dreaded to make another movement, that might provoke another
19412 reproach or denial from her. Life hung on her consent; everything else
19413 was hopeless, confused, sickening misery. They glided along in this
19414 way, both resting in that silence as in a haven, both dreading lest
19415 their feelings should be divided again,--till they became aware that
19416 the clouds had gathered, and that the slightest perceptible freshening
19417 of the breeze was growing and growing, so that the whole character of
19418 the day was altered.
19419
19420 "You will be chill, Maggie, in this thin dress. Let me raise the cloak
19421 over your shoulders. Get up an instant, dearest."
19422
19423 Maggie obeyed; there was an unspeakable charm in being told what to
19424 do, and having everything decided for her. She sat down again covered
19425 with the cloak, and Stephen took to his oars again, making haste; for
19426 they must try to get to Torby as fast as they could. Maggie was hardly
19427 conscious of having said or done anything decisive. All yielding is
19428 attended with a less vivid consciousness than resistance; it is the
19429 partial sleep of thought; it is the submergence of our own personality
19430 by another. Every influence tended to lull her into acquiescence. That
19431 dreamy gliding in the boat which had lasted for four hours, and had
19432 brought some weariness and exhaustion; the recoil of her fatigued
19433 sensations from the impracticable difficulty of getting out of the
19434 boat at this unknown distance from home, and walking for long
19435 miles,--all helped to bring her into more complete subjection to that
19436 strong, mysterious charm which made a last parting from Stephen seem
19437 the death of all joy, and made the thought of wounding him like the
19438 first touch of the torturing iron before which resolution shrank. And
19439 then there was the present happiness of being with him, which was
19440 enough to absorb all her languid energy.
19441
19442 Presently Stephen observed a vessel coming after them. Several
19443 vessels, among them the steamer to Mudport, had passed them with the
19444 early tide, but for the last hour they had seen none. He looked more
19445 and more eagerly at this vessel, as if a new thought had come into his
19446 mind along with it, and then he looked at Maggie hesitatingly.
19447
19448 "Maggie, dearest," he said at last, "if this vessel should be going to
19449 Mudport, or to any convenient place on the coast northward, it would
19450 be our best plan to get them to take us on board. You are fatigued,
19451 and it may soon rain; it may be a wretched business, getting to Torby
19452 in this boat. It's only a trading vessel, but I dare say you can be
19453 made tolerably comfortable. We'll take the cushions out of the boat.
19454 It is really our best plan. They'll be glad enough to take us. I've
19455 got plenty of money about me. I can pay them well."
19456
19457 Maggie's heart began to beat with reawakened alarm at this new
19458 proposition; but she was silent,--one course seemed as difficult as
19459 another.
19460
19461 Stephen hailed the vessel. It was a Dutch vessel going to Mudport, the
19462 English mate informed him, and, if this wind held, would be there in
19463 less than two days.
19464
19465 "We had got out too far with our boat," said Stephen. "I was trying to
19466 make for Torby. But I'm afraid of the weather; and this lady--my
19467 wife--will be exhausted with fatigue and hunger. Take us on
19468 board--will you?--and haul up the boat. I'll pay you well."
19469
19470 Maggie, now really faint and trembling with fear, was taken on board,
19471 making an interesting object of contemplation to admiring Dutchmen.
19472 The mate feared the lady would have a poor time of it on board, for
19473 they had no accommodation for such entirely unlooked-for
19474 passengers,--no private cabin larger than an old-fashioned church-pew.
19475 But at least they had Dutch cleanliness, which makes all other
19476 inconveniences tolerable; and the boat cushions were spread into a
19477 couch for Maggie on the poop with all alacrity. But to pace up and
19478 down the deck leaning on Stephen--being upheld by his strength--was
19479 the first change that she needed; then came food, and then quiet
19480 reclining on the cushions, with the sense that no new resolution
19481 _could_ be taken that day. Everything must wait till to-morrow.
19482 Stephen sat beside her with her hand in his; they could only speak to
19483 each other in low tones; only look at each other now and then, for it
19484 would take a long while to dull the curiosity of the five men on
19485 board, and reduce these handsome young strangers to that minor degree
19486 of interest which belongs, in a sailor's regard, to all objects nearer
19487 than the horizon. But Stephen was triumphantly happy. Every other
19488 thought or care was thrown into unmarked perspective by the certainty
19489 that Maggie must be his. The leap had been taken now; he had been
19490 tortured by scruples, he had fought fiercely with overmastering
19491 inclination, he had hesitated; but repentance was impossible. He
19492 murmured forth in fragmentary sentences his happiness, his adoration,
19493 his tenderness, his belief that their life together must be heaven,
19494 that her presence with him would give rapture to every common day;
19495 that to satisfy her lightest wish was dearer to him than all other
19496 bliss; that everything was easy for her sake, except to part with her;
19497 and now they never _would_ part; he would belong to her forever, and
19498 all that was his was hers,--had no value for him except as it was
19499 hers. Such things, uttered in low, broken tones by the one voice that
19500 has first stirred the fibre of young passion, have only a feeble
19501 effect--on experienced minds at a distance from them. To poor Maggie
19502 they were very near; they were like nectar held close to thirsty lips;
19503 there was, there _must_ be, then, a life for mortals here below which
19504 was not hard and chill,--in which affection would no longer be
19505 self-sacrifice. Stephen's passionate words made the vision of such a
19506 life more fully present to her than it had ever been before; and the
19507 vision for the time excluded all realities,--all except the returning
19508 sun-gleams which broke out on the waters as the evening approached,
19509 and mingled with the visionary sunlight of promised happiness; all
19510 except the hand that pressed hers, and the voice that spoke to her,
19511 and the eyes that looked at her with grave, unspeakable love.
19512
19513 There was to be no rain, after all; the clouds rolled off to the
19514 horizon again, making the great purple rampart and long purple isles
19515 of that wondrous land which reveals itself to us when the sun goes
19516 down,--the land that the evening star watches over. Maggie was to
19517 sleep all night on the poop; it was better than going below; and she
19518 was covered with the warmest wrappings the ship could furnish. It was
19519 still early, when the fatigues of the day brought on a drowsy longing
19520 for perfect rest, and she laid down her head, looking at the faint,
19521 dying flush in the west, where the one golden lamp was getting
19522 brighter and brighter. Then she looked up at Stephen, who was still
19523 seated by her, hanging over her as he leaned his arm against the
19524 vessel's side. Behind all the delicious visions of these last hours,
19525 which had flowed over her like a soft stream, and made her entirely
19526 passive, there was the dim consciousness that the condition was a
19527 transient one, and that the morrow must bring back the old life of
19528 struggle; that there were thoughts which would presently avenge
19529 themselves for this oblivion. But now nothing was distinct to her; she
19530 was being lulled to sleep with that soft stream still flowing over
19531 her, with those delicious visions melting and fading like the wondrous
19532 aerial land of the west.
19533
19534
19535
19536 Chapter XIV
19537
19538 Waking
19539
19540
19541 When Maggie was gone to sleep, Stephen, weary too with his
19542 unaccustomed amount of rowing, and with the intense inward life of the
19543 last twelve hours, but too restless to sleep, walked and lounged about
19544 the deck with his cigar far on into midnight, not seeing the dark
19545 water, hardly conscious there were stars, living only in the near and
19546 distant future. At last fatigue conquered restlessness, and he rolled
19547 himself up in a piece of tarpaulin on the deck near Maggie's feet.
19548
19549 She had fallen asleep before nine, and had been sleeping for six hours
19550 before the faintest hint of a midsummer daybreak was discernible. She
19551 awoke from that vivid dreaming which makes the margin of our deeper
19552 rest. She was in a boat on the wide water with Stephen, and in the
19553 gathering darkness something like a star appeared, that grew and grew
19554 till they saw it was the Virgin seated in St. Ogg's boat, and it came
19555 nearer and nearer, till they saw the Virgin was Lucy and the boatman
19556 was Philip,--no, not Philip, but her brother, who rowed past without
19557 looking at her; and she rose to stretch out her arms and call to him,
19558 and their own boat turned over with the movement, and they began to
19559 sink, till with one spasm of dread she seemed to awake, and find she
19560 was a child again in the parlor at evening twilight, and Tom was not
19561 really angry. From the soothed sense of that false waking she passed
19562 to the real waking,--to the plash of water against the vessel, and the
19563 sound of a footstep on the deck, and the awful starlit sky. There was
19564 a moment of utter bewilderment before her mind could get disentangled
19565 from the confused web of dreams; but soon the whole terrible truth
19566 urged itself upon her. Stephen was not by her now; she was alone with
19567 her own memory and her own dread. The irrevocable wrong that must blot
19568 her life had been committed; she had brought sorrow into the lives of
19569 others,--into the lives that were knit up with hers by trust and love.
19570 The feeling of a few short weeks had hurried her into the sins her
19571 nature had most recoiled from,--breach of faith and cruel selfishness;
19572 she had rent the ties that had given meaning to duty, and had made
19573 herself an outlawed soul, with no guide but the wayward choice of her
19574 own passion. And where would that lead her? Where had it led her now?
19575 She had said she would rather die than fall into that temptation. She
19576 felt it now,--now that the consequences of such a fall had come before
19577 the outward act was completed. There was at least this fruit from all
19578 her years of striving after the highest and best,--that her soul
19579 though betrayed, beguiled, ensnared, could never deliberately consent
19580 to a choice of the lower. And a choice of what? O God! not a choice of
19581 joy, but of conscious cruelty and hardness; for could she ever cease
19582 to see before her Lucy and Philip, with their murdered trust and
19583 hopes? Her life with Stephen could have no sacredness; she must
19584 forever sink and wander vaguely, driven by uncertain impulse; for she
19585 had let go the clue of life,--that clue which once in the far-off
19586 years her young need had clutched so strongly. She had renounced all
19587 delights then, before she knew them, before they had come within her
19588 reach. Philip had been right when he told her that she knew nothing of
19589 renunciation; she had thought it was quiet ecstasy; she saw it face to
19590 face now,--that sad, patient, loving strength which holds the clue of
19591 life,--and saw that the thorns were forever pressing on its brow. The
19592 yesterday, which could never be revoked,--if she could have changed it
19593 now for any length of inward silent endurance, she would have bowed
19594 beneath that cross with a sense of rest.
19595
19596 Day break came and the reddening eastern light, while her past life
19597 was grasping her in this way, with that tightening clutch which comes
19598 in the last moments of possible rescue. She could see Stephen now
19599 lying on the deck still fast asleep, and with the sight of him there
19600 came a wave of anguish that found its way in a long-suppressed sob.
19601 The worst bitterness of parting--the thought that urged the sharpest
19602 inward cry for help--was the pain it must give to _him_. But
19603 surmounting everything was the horror at her own possible failure, the
19604 dread lest her conscience should be benumbed again, and not rise to
19605 energy till it was too late. Too late! it was too late already not to
19606 have caused misery; too late for everything, perhaps, but to rush away
19607 from the last act of baseness,--the tasting of joys that were wrung
19608 from crushed hearts.
19609
19610 The sun was rising now, and Maggie started up with the sense that a
19611 day of resistance was beginning for her. Her eyelashes were still wet
19612 with tears, as, with her shawl over her head, she sat looking at the
19613 slowly rounding sun. Something roused Stephen too, and getting up from
19614 his hard bed, he came to sit beside her. The sharp instinct of anxious
19615 love saw something to give him alarm in the very first glance. He had
19616 a hovering dread of some resistance in Maggie's nature that he would
19617 be unable to overcome. He had the uneasy consciousness that he had
19618 robbed her of perfect freedom yesterday; there was too much native
19619 honor in him, for him not to feel that, if her will should recoil, his
19620 conduct would have been odious, and she would have a right to reproach
19621 him.
19622
19623 But Maggie did not feel that right; she was too conscious of fatal
19624 weakness in herself, too full of the tenderness that comes with the
19625 foreseen need for inflicting a wound. She let him take her hand when
19626 he came to sit down beside her, and smiled at him, only with rather a
19627 sad glance; she could say nothing to pain him till the moment of
19628 possible parting was nearer. And so they drank their cup of coffee
19629 together, and walked about the deck, and heard the captain's assurance
19630 that they should be in at Mudport by five o'clock, each with an inward
19631 burthen; but in him it was an undefined fear, which he trusted to the
19632 coming hours to dissipate; in her it was a definite resolve on which
19633 she was trying silently to tighten her hold. Stephen was continually,
19634 through the morning, expressing his anxiety at the fatigue and
19635 discomfort she was suffering, and alluded to landing and to the change
19636 of motion and repose she would have in a carriage, wanting to assure
19637 himself more completely by presupposing that everything would be as he
19638 had arranged it. For a long while Maggie contented herself with
19639 assuring him that she had had a good night's rest, and that she didn't
19640 mind about being on the vessel,--it was not like being on the open
19641 sea, it was only a little less pleasant than being in a boat on the
19642 Floss. But a suppressed resolve will betray itself in the eyes, and
19643 Stephen became more and more uneasy as the day advanced, under the
19644 sense that Maggie had entirely lost her passiveness. He longed, but
19645 did not dare, to speak of their marriage, of where they would go after
19646 it, and the steps he would take to inform his father, and the rest, of
19647 what had happened. He longed to assure himself of a tacit assent from
19648 her. But each time he looked at her, he gathered a stronger dread of
19649 the new, quiet sadness with which she met his eyes. And they were more
19650 and more silent.
19651
19652 "Here we are in sight of Mudport," he said at last. "Now, dearest," he
19653 added, turning toward her with a look that was half beseeching, "the
19654 worst part of your fatigue is over. On the land we can command
19655 swiftness. In another hour and a half we shall be in a chaise
19656 together, and that will seem rest to you after this."
19657
19658 Maggie felt it was time to speak; it would only be unkind now to
19659 assent by silence. She spoke in the lowest tone, as he had done, but
19660 with distinct decision.
19661
19662 "We shall not be together; we shall have parted."
19663
19664 The blood rushed to Stephen's face.
19665
19666 "We shall not," he said. "I'll die first."
19667
19668 It was as he had dreaded--there was a struggle coming. But neither of
19669 them dared to say another word till the boat was let down, and they
19670 were taken to the landing-place. Here there was a cluster of gazers
19671 and passengers awaiting the departure of the steamboat to St. Ogg's.
19672 Maggie had a dim sense, when she had landed, and Stephen was hurrying
19673 her along on his arm, that some one had advanced toward her from that
19674 cluster as if he were coming to speak to her. But she was hurried
19675 along, and was indifferent to everything but the coming trial.
19676
19677 A porter guided them to the nearest inn and posting-house, and Stephen
19678 gave the order for the chaise as they passed through the yard. Maggie
19679 took no notice of this, and only said, "Ask them to show us into a
19680 room where we can sit down."
19681
19682 When they entered, Maggie did not sit down, and Stephen, whose face
19683 had a desperate determination in it, was about to ring the bell, when
19684 she said, in a firm voice,--
19685
19686 "I'm not going; we must part here."
19687
19688 "Maggie," he said, turning round toward her, and speaking in the tones
19689 of a man who feels a process of torture beginning, "do you mean to
19690 kill me? What is the use of it now? The whole thing is done."
19691
19692 "No, it is not done," said Maggie. "Too much is done,--more than we
19693 can ever remove the trace of. But I will go no farther. Don't try to
19694 prevail with me again. I couldn't choose yesterday."
19695
19696 What was he to do? He dared not go near her; her anger might leap out,
19697 and make a new barrier. He walked backward and forward in maddening
19698 perplexity.
19699
19700 "Maggie," he said at last, pausing before her, and speaking in a tone
19701 of imploring wretchedness, "have some pity--hear me--forgive me for
19702 what I did yesterday. I will obey you now; I will do nothing without
19703 your full consent. But don't blight our lives forever by a rash
19704 perversity that can answer no good purpose to any one, that can only
19705 create new evils. Sit down, dearest; wait--think what you are going to
19706 do. Don't treat me as if you couldn't trust me."
19707
19708 He had chosen the most effective appeal; but Maggie's will was fixed
19709 unswervingly on the coming wrench. She had made up her mind to suffer.
19710
19711 "We must not wait," she said, in a low but distinct voice; "we must
19712 part at once."
19713
19714 "We _can't_ part, Maggie," said Stephen, more impetuously. "I can't
19715 bear it. What is the use of inflicting that misery on me? The
19716 blow--whatever it may have been--has been struck now. Will it help any
19717 one else that you should drive me mad?"
19718
19719 "I will not begin any future, even for you," said Maggie, tremulously,
19720 "with a deliberate consent to what ought not to have been. What I told
19721 you at Basset I feel now; I would rather have died than fall into this
19722 temptation. It would have been better if we had parted forever then.
19723 But we must part now."
19724
19725 "We will _not_ part," Stephen burst out, instinctively placing his
19726 back against the door, forgetting everything he had said a few moments
19727 before; "I will not endure it. You'll make me desperate; I sha'n't
19728 know what I do."
19729
19730 Maggie trembled. She felt that the parting could not be effected
19731 suddenly. She must rely on a slower appeal to Stephen's better self;
19732 she must be prepared for a harder task than that of rushing away while
19733 resolution was fresh. She sat down. Stephen, watching her with that
19734 look of desperation which had come over him like a lurid light,
19735 approached slowly from the door, seated himself close beside her, and
19736 grasped her hand. Her heart beat like the heart of a frightened bird;
19737 but this direct opposition helped her. She felt her determination
19738 growing stronger.
19739
19740 "Remember what you felt weeks ago," she began, with beseeching
19741 earnestness; "remember what we both felt,--that we owed ourselves to
19742 others, and must conquer every inclination which could make us false
19743 to that debt. We have failed to keep our resolutions; but the wrong
19744 remains the same."
19745
19746 "No, it does _not_ remain the same," said Stephen. "We have proved
19747 that it was impossible to keep our resolutions. We have proved that
19748 the feeling which draws us toward each other is too strong to be
19749 overcome. That natural law surmounts every other; we can't help what
19750 it clashes with."
19751
19752 "It is not so, Stephen; I'm quite sure that is wrong. I have tried to
19753 think it again and again; but I see, if we judged in that way, there
19754 would be a warrant for all treachery and cruelty; we should justify
19755 breaking the most sacred ties that can ever be formed on earth. If the
19756 past is not to bind us, where can duty lie? We should have no law but
19757 the inclination of the moment."
19758
19759 "But there are ties that can't be kept by mere resolution," said
19760 Stephen, starting up and walking about again. "What is outward
19761 faithfulness? Would they have thanked us for anything so hollow as
19762 constancy without love?"
19763
19764 Maggie did not answer immediately. She was undergoing an inward as
19765 well as an outward contest. At last she said, with a passionate
19766 assertion of her conviction, as much against herself as against him,--
19767
19768 "That seems right--at first; but when I look further, I'm sure it is
19769 _not_ right. Faithfulness and constancy mean something else besides
19770 doing what is easiest and pleasantest to ourselves. They mean
19771 renouncing whatever is opposed to the reliance others have in
19772 us,--whatever would cause misery to those whom the course of our lives
19773 has made dependent on us. If we--if I had been better, nobler, those
19774 claims would have been so strongly present with me,--I should have
19775 felt them pressing on my heart so continually, just as they do now in
19776 the moments when my conscience is awake,--that the opposite feeling
19777 would never have grown in me, as it has done; it would have been
19778 quenched at once, I should have prayed for help so earnestly, I should
19779 have rushed away as we rush from hideous danger. I feel no excuse for
19780 myself, none. I should never have failed toward Lucy and Philip as I
19781 have done, if I had not been weak, selfish, and hard,--able to think
19782 of their pain without a pain to myself that would have destroyed all
19783 temptation. Oh, what is Lucy feeling now? She believed in me--she
19784 loved me--she was so good to me. Think of her----"
19785
19786 Maggie's voice was getting choked as she uttered these last words.
19787
19788 "I _can't_ think of her," said Stephen, stamping as if with pain. "I
19789 can think of nothing but you, Maggie. You demand of a man what is
19790 impossible. I felt that once; but I can't go back to it now. And where
19791 is the use of _your_ thinking of it, except to torture me? You can't
19792 save them from pain now; you can only tear yourself from me, and make
19793 my life worthless to me. And even if we could go back, and both fulfil
19794 our engagements,--if that were possible now,--it would be hateful,
19795 horrible, to think of your ever being Philip's wife,--of your ever
19796 being the wife of a man you didn't love. We have both been rescued
19797 from a mistake."
19798
19799 A deep flush came over Maggie's face, and she couldn't speak. Stephen
19800 saw this. He sat down again, taking her hand in his, and looking at
19801 her with passionate entreaty.
19802
19803 "Maggie! Dearest! If you love me, you are mine. Who can have so great
19804 a claim on you as I have? My life is bound up in your love. There is
19805 nothing in the past that can annul our right to each other; it is the
19806 first time we have either of us loved with our whole heart and soul."
19807
19808 Maggie was still silent for a little while, looking down. Stephen was
19809 in a flutter of new hope; he was going to triumph. But she raised her
19810 eyes and met his with a glance that was filled with the anguish of
19811 regret, not with yielding.
19812
19813 "No, not with my whole heart and soul, Stephen," she said with timid
19814 resolution. "I have never consented to it with my whole mind. There
19815 are memories, and affections, and longings after perfect goodness,
19816 that have such a strong hold on me; they would never quit me for long;
19817 they would come back and be pain to me--repentance. I couldn't live in
19818 peace if I put the shadow of a wilful sin between myself and God. I
19819 have caused sorrow already--I know--I feel it; but I have never
19820 deliberately consented to it; I have never said, 'They shall suffer,
19821 that I may have joy.' It has never been my will to marry you; if you
19822 were to win consent from the momentary triumph of my feeling for you,
19823 you would not have my whole soul. If I could wake back again into the
19824 time before yesterday, I would choose to be true to my calmer
19825 affections, and live without the joy of love."
19826
19827 Stephen loosed her hand, and rising impatiently, walked up and down
19828 the room in suppressed rage.
19829
19830 "Good God!" he burst out at last, "what a miserable thing a woman's
19831 love is to a man's! I could commit crimes for you,--and you can
19832 balance and choose in that way. But you _don't_ love me; if you had a
19833 tithe of the feeling for me that I have for you, it would be
19834 impossible to you to think for a moment of sacrificing me. But it
19835 weighs nothing with you that you are robbing me of _my_ life's
19836 happiness."
19837
19838 Maggie pressed her fingers together almost convulsively as she held
19839 them clasped on her lap. A great terror was upon her, as if she were
19840 ever and anon seeing where she stood by great flashes of lightning,
19841 and then again stretched forth her hands in the darkness.
19842
19843 "No, I don't sacrifice you--I couldn't sacrifice you," she said, as
19844 soon as she could speak again; "but I can't believe in a good for you,
19845 that I feel, that we both feel, is a wrong toward others. We can't
19846 choose happiness either for ourselves or for another; we can't tell
19847 where that will lie. We can only choose whether we will indulge
19848 ourselves in the present moment, or whether we will renounce that, for
19849 the sake of obeying the divine voice within us,--for the sake of being
19850 true to all the motives that sanctify our lives. I know this belief is
19851 hard; it has slipped away from me again and again; but I have felt
19852 that if I let it go forever, I should have no light through the
19853 darkness of this life."
19854
19855 "But, Maggie," said Stephen, seating himself by her again, "is it
19856 possible you don't see that what happened yesterday has altered the
19857 whole position of things? What infatuation is it, what obstinate
19858 prepossession, that blinds you to that? It is too late to say what we
19859 might have done or what we ought to have done. Admitting the very
19860 worst view of what has been done, it is a fact we must act on now; our
19861 position is altered; the right course is no longer what it was before.
19862 We must accept our own actions and start afresh from them. Suppose we
19863 had been married yesterday? It is nearly the same thing. The effect on
19864 others would not have been different. It would only have made this
19865 difference to ourselves," Stephen added bitterly, "that you might have
19866 acknowledged then that your tie to me was stronger than to others."
19867
19868 Again a deep flush came over Maggie's face, and she was silent.
19869 Stephen thought again that he was beginning to prevail,--he had never
19870 yet believed that he should _not_ prevail; there are possibilities
19871 which our minds shrink from too completely for us to fear them.
19872
19873 "Dearest," he said, in his deepest, tenderest tone, leaning toward
19874 her, and putting his arm round her, "you _are_ mine now,--the world
19875 believes it; duty must spring out of that now.
19876
19877 "In a few hours you will be legally mine, and those who had claims on
19878 us will submit,--they will see that there was a force which declared
19879 against their claims."
19880
19881 Maggie's eyes opened wide in one terrified look at the face that was
19882 close to hers, and she started up, pale again.
19883
19884 "Oh, I can't do it," she said, in a voice almost of agony; "Stephen,
19885 don't ask me--don't urge me. I can't argue any longer,--I don't know
19886 what is wise; but my heart will not let me do it. I see,--I feel their
19887 trouble now; it is as if it were branded on my mind. _I_ have
19888 suffered, and had no one to pity me; and now I have made others
19889 suffer. It would never leave me; it would embitter your love to me. I
19890 _do_ care for Philip--in a different way; I remember all we said to
19891 each other; I know how he thought of me as the one promise of his
19892 life. He was given to me that I might make his lot less hard; and I
19893 have forsaken him. And Lucy--she has been deceived; she who trusted me
19894 more than any one. I cannot marry you; I cannot take a good for myself
19895 that has been wrung out of their misery. It is not the force that
19896 ought to rule us,--this that we feel for each other; it would rend me
19897 away from all that my past life has made dear and holy to me. I can't
19898 set out on a fresh life, and forget that; I must go back to it, and
19899 cling to it, else I shall feel as if there were nothing firm beneath
19900 my feet."
19901
19902 "Good God, Maggie!" said Stephen, rising too and grasping her arm,
19903 "you rave. How can you go back without marrying me? You don't know
19904 what will be said, dearest. You see nothing as it really is."
19905
19906 "Yes, I do. But they will believe me. I will confess everything. Lucy
19907 will believe me--she will forgive you, and--and--oh, _some_ good will
19908 come by clinging to the right. Dear, dear Stephen, let me go!--don't
19909 drag me into deeper remorse. My whole soul has never consented; it
19910 does not consent now."
19911
19912 Stephen let go her arm, and sank back on his chair, half-stunned by
19913 despairing rage. He was silent a few moments, not looking at her;
19914 while her eyes were turned toward him yearningly, in alarm at this
19915 sudden change. At last he said, still without looking at her,--
19916
19917 "Go, then,--leave me; don't torture me any longer,--I can't bear it."
19918
19919 Involuntarily she leaned toward him and put out her hand to touch his.
19920 But he shrank from it as if it had been burning iron, and said
19921 again,--
19922
19923 "Leave me."
19924
19925 Maggie was not conscious of a decision as she turned away from that
19926 gloomy averted face, and walked out of the room; it was like an
19927 automatic action that fulfils a forgotten intention. What came after?
19928 A sense of stairs descended as if in a dream, of flagstones, of a
19929 chaise and horses standing, then a street, and a turning into another
19930 street where a stage-coach was standing, taking in passengers, and the
19931 darting thought that that coach would take her away, perhaps toward
19932 home. But she could ask nothing yet; she only got into the coach.
19933
19934 Home--where her mother and brother were, Philip, Lucy, the scene of
19935 her very cares and trials--was the haven toward which her mind tended;
19936 the sanctuary where sacred relics lay, where she would be rescued from
19937 more falling. The thought of Stephen was like a horrible throbbing
19938 pain, which yet, as such pains do, seemed to urge all other thoughts
19939 into activity. But among her thoughts, what others would say and think
19940 of her conduct was hardly present. Love and deep pity and remorseful
19941 anguish left no room for that.
19942
19943 The coach was taking her to York, farther away from home; but she did
19944 not learn that until she was set down in the old city at midnight. It
19945 was no matter; she could sleep there, and start home the next day. She
19946 had her purse in her pocket, with all her money in it,--a bank-note
19947 and a sovereign; she had kept it in her pocket from forgetfulness,
19948 after going out to make purchases the day before yesterday.
19949
19950 Did she lie down in the gloomy bedroom of the old inn that night with
19951 her will bent unwaveringly on the path of penitent sacrifice? The
19952 great struggles of life are not so easy as that; the great problems of
19953 life are not so clear. In the darkness of that night she saw Stephen's
19954 face turned toward her in passionate, reproachful misery; she lived
19955 through again all the tremulous delights of his presence with her that
19956 made existence an easy floating in a stream of joy, instead of a quiet
19957 resolved endurance and effort. The love she had renounced came back
19958 upon her with a cruel charm; she felt herself opening her arms to
19959 receive it once more; and then it seemed to slip away and fade and
19960 vanish, leaving only the dying sound of a deep, thrilling voice that
19961 said, "Gone, forever gone."
19962
19963
19964
19965
19966 Book VII
19967
19968 _The Final Rescue_
19969
19970
19971
19972 Chapter I
19973
19974 The Return to the Mill
19975
19976
19977 Between four and five o'clock on the afternoon of the fifth day from
19978 that on which Stephen and Maggie had left St. Ogg's, Tom Tulliver was
19979 standing on the gravel walk outside the old house at Dorlcote Mill. He
19980 was master there now; he had half fulfilled his father's dying wish,
19981 and by years of steady self-government and energetic work he had
19982 brought himself near to the attainment of more than the old
19983 respectability which had been the proud inheritance of the Dodsons and
19984 Tullivers.
19985
19986 But Tom's face, as he stood in the hot, still sunshine of that summer
19987 afternoon, had no gladness, no triumph in it. His mouth wore its
19988 bitterest expression, his severe brow its hardest and deepest fold, as
19989 he drew down his hat farther over his eyes to shelter them from the
19990 sun, and thrusting his hands deep into his pockets, began to walk up
19991 and down the gravel. No news of his sister had been heard since Bob
19992 Jakin had come back in the steamer from Mudport, and put an end to all
19993 improbable suppositions of an accident on the water by stating that he
19994 had seen her land from a vessel with Mr. Stephen Guest. Would the next
19995 news be that she was married,--or what? Probably that she was not
19996 married; Tom's mind was set to the expectation of the worst that could
19997 happen,--not death, but disgrace.
19998
19999 As he was walking with his back toward the entrance gate, and his face
20000 toward the rushing mill-stream, a tall, dark-eyed figure, that we know
20001 well, approached the gate, and paused to look at him with a
20002 fast-beating heart. Her brother was the human being of whom she had
20003 been most afraid from her childhood upward; afraid with that fear
20004 which springs in us when we love one who is inexorable, unbending,
20005 unmodifiable, with a mind that we can never mould ourselves upon, and
20006 yet that we cannot endure to alienate from us.
20007
20008 That deep-rooted fear was shaking Maggie now; but her mind was
20009 unswervingly bent on returning to her brother, as the natural refuge
20010 that had been given her. In her deep humiliation under the retrospect
20011 of her own weakness,--in her anguish at the injury she had
20012 inflicted,--she almost desired to endure the severity of Tom's
20013 reproof, to submit in patient silence to that harsh, disapproving
20014 judgment against which she had so often rebelled; it seemed no more
20015 than just to her now,--who was weaker than she was? She craved that
20016 outward help to her better purpose which would come from complete,
20017 submissive confession; from being in the presence of those whose looks
20018 and words would be a reflection of her own conscience.
20019
20020 Maggie had been kept on her bed at York for a day with that
20021 prostrating headache which was likely to follow on the terrible strain
20022 of the previous day and night. There was an expression of physical
20023 pain still about her brow and eyes, and her whole appearance, with her
20024 dress so long unchanged, was worn and distressed. She lifted the latch
20025 of the gate and walked in slowly. Tom did not hear the gate; he was
20026 just then close upon the roaring dam; but he presently turned, and
20027 lifting up his eyes, saw the figure whose worn look and loneliness
20028 seemed to him a confirmation of his worst conjectures. He paused,
20029 trembling and white with disgust and indignation.
20030
20031 Maggie paused too, three yards before him. She felt the hatred in his
20032 face, felt it rushing through her fibres; but she must speak.
20033
20034 "Tom," she began faintly, "I am come back to you,--I am come back
20035 home--for refuge--to tell you everything."
20036
20037 "You will find no home with me," he answered, with tremulous rage.
20038 "You have disgraced us all. You have disgraced my father's name. You
20039 have been a curse to your best friends. You have been base, deceitful;
20040 no motives are strong enough to restrain you. I wash my hands of you
20041 forever. You don't belong to me."
20042
20043 Their mother had come to the door now. She stood paralyzed by the
20044 double shock of seeing Maggie and hearing Tom's words.
20045
20046 "Tom," said Maggie, with more courage, "I am perhaps not so guilty as
20047 you believe me to be. I never meant to give way to my feelings. I
20048 struggled against them. I was carried too far in the boat to come back
20049 on Tuesday. I came back as soon as I could."
20050
20051 "I can't believe in you any more," said Tom, gradually passing from
20052 the tremulous excitement of the first moment to cold inflexibility.
20053 "You have been carrying on a clandestine relation with Stephen
20054 Guest,--as you did before with another. He went to see you at my aunt
20055 Moss's; you walked alone with him in the lanes; you must have behaved
20056 as no modest girl would have done to her cousin's lover, else that
20057 could never have happened. The people at Luckreth saw you pass; you
20058 passed all the other places; you knew what you were doing. You have
20059 been using Philip Wakem as a screen to deceive Lucy,--the kindest
20060 friend you ever had. Go and see the return you have made her. She's
20061 ill; unable to speak. My mother can't go near her, lest she should
20062 remind her of you."
20063
20064 Maggie was half stunned,--too heavily pressed upon by her anguish even
20065 to discern any difference between her actual guilt and her brother's
20066 accusations, still less to vindicate herself.
20067
20068 "Tom," she said, crushing her hands together under her cloak, in the
20069 effort to speak again, "whatever I have done, I repent it bitterly. I
20070 want to make amends. I will endure anything. I want to be kept from
20071 doing wrong again."
20072
20073 "What _will_ keep you?" said Tom, with cruel bitterness. "Not
20074 religion; not your natural feelings of gratitude and honor. And he--he
20075 would deserve to be shot, if it were not----But you are ten times
20076 worse than he is. I loathe your character and your conduct. You
20077 struggled with your feelings, you say. Yes! _I_ have had feelings to
20078 struggle with; but I conquered them. I have had a harder life than you
20079 have had; but I have found _my_ comfort in doing my duty. But I will
20080 sanction no such character as yours; the world shall know that _I_
20081 feel the difference between right and wrong. If you are in want, I
20082 will provide for you; let my mother know. But you shall not come under
20083 my roof. It is enough that I have to bear the thought of your
20084 disgrace; the sight of you is hateful to me."
20085
20086 Slowly Maggie was turning away with despair in her heart. But the poor
20087 frightened mother's love leaped out now, stronger than all dread.
20088
20089 "My child! I'll go with you. You've got a mother."
20090
20091 Oh, the sweet rest of that embrace to the heart-stricken Maggie! More
20092 helpful than all wisdom is one draught of simple human pity that will
20093 not forsake us.
20094
20095 Tom turned and walked into the house.
20096
20097 "Come in, my child," Mrs. Tulliver whispered. "He'll let you stay and
20098 sleep in my bed. He won't deny that if I ask him."
20099
20100 "No, mother," said Maggie, in a low tone, like a moan. "I will never
20101 go in."
20102
20103 "Then wait for me outside. I'll get ready and come with you."
20104
20105 When his mother appeared with her bonnet on, Tom came out to her in
20106 the passage, and put money into her hands.
20107
20108 "My house is yours, mother, always," he said. "You will come and let
20109 me know everything you want; you will come back to me."
20110
20111 Poor Mrs. Tulliver took the money, too frightened to say anything. The
20112 only thing clear to her was the mother's instinct that she would go
20113 with her unhappy child.
20114
20115 Maggie was waiting outside the gate; she took her mother's hand and
20116 they walked a little way in silence.
20117
20118 "Mother," said Maggie, at last, "we will go to Luke's cottage. Luke
20119 will take me in. He was very good to me when I was a little girl."
20120
20121 "He's got no room for us, my dear, now; his wife's got so many
20122 children. I don't know where to go, if it isn't to one o' your aunts;
20123 and I hardly durst," said poor Mrs. Tulliver, quite destitute of
20124 mental resources in this extremity.
20125
20126 Maggie was silent a little while, and then said,--
20127
20128 "Let us go to Bob Jakin's, mother; his wife will have room for us, if
20129 they have no other lodger."
20130
20131 So they went on their way to St. Ogg's, to the old house by the
20132 river-side.
20133
20134 Bob himself was at home, with a heaviness at heart which resisted even
20135 the new joy and pride of possessing a two-months'-old baby, quite the
20136 liveliest of its age that had ever been born to prince or packman. He
20137 would perhaps not so thoroughly have understood all the dubiousness of
20138 Maggie's appearance with Mr. Stephen Guest on the quay at Mudport if
20139 he had not witnessed the effect it produced on Tom when he went to
20140 report it; and since then, the circumstances which in any case gave a
20141 disastrous character to her elopement had passed beyond the more
20142 polite circles of St. Ogg's, and had become matter of common talk,
20143 accessible to the grooms and errand-boys. So that when he opened the
20144 door and saw Maggie standing before him in her sorrow and weariness,
20145 he had no questions to ask except one which he dared only ask
20146 himself,--where was Mr. Stephen Guest? Bob, for his part, hoped he
20147 might be in the warmest department of an asylum understood to exist in
20148 the other world for gentlemen who are likely to be in fallen
20149 circumstances there.
20150
20151 The lodgings were vacant, and both Mrs. Jakin the larger and Mrs.
20152 Jakin the less were commanded to make all things comfortable for "the
20153 old Missis and the young Miss"; alas that she was still "Miss!" The
20154 ingenious Bob was sorely perplexed as to how this result could have
20155 come about; how Mr. Stephen Guest could have gone away from her, or
20156 could have let her go away from him, when he had the chance of keeping
20157 her with him. But he was silent, and would not allow his wife to ask
20158 him a question; would not present himself in the room, lest it should
20159 appear like intrusion and a wish to pry; having the same chivalry
20160 toward dark-eyed Maggie as in the days when he had bought her the
20161 memorable present of books.
20162
20163 But after a day or two Mrs. Tulliver was gone to the Mill again for a
20164 few hours to see to Tom's household matters. Maggie had wished this;
20165 after the first violent outburst of feeling which came as soon as she
20166 had no longer any active purpose to fulfil, she was less in need of
20167 her mother's presence; she even desired to be alone with her grief.
20168 But she had been solitary only a little while in the old sitting-room
20169 that looked on the river, when there came a tap at the door, and
20170 turning round her sad face as she said "Come in," she saw Bob enter,
20171 with the baby in his arms and Mumps at his heels.
20172
20173 "We'll go back, if it disturbs you, Miss," said Bob.
20174
20175 "No," said Maggie, in a low voice, wishing she could smile.
20176
20177 Bob, closing the door behind him, came and stood before her.
20178
20179 "You see, we've got a little un, Miss, and I want'd you to look at it,
20180 and take it in your arms, if you'd be so good. For we made free to
20181 name it after you, and it 'ud be better for your takin' a bit o'
20182 notice on it."
20183
20184 Maggie could not speak, but she put out her arms to receive the tiny
20185 baby, while Mumps snuffed at it anxiously, to ascertain that this
20186 transference was all right. Maggie's heart had swelled at this action
20187 and speech of Bob's; she knew well enough that it was a way he had
20188 chosen to show his sympathy and respect.
20189
20190 "Sit down, Bob," she said presently, and he sat down in silence,
20191 finding his tongue unmanageable in quite a new fashion, refusing to
20192 say what he wanted it to say.
20193
20194 "Bob," she said, after a few moments, looking down at the baby, and
20195 holding it anxiously, as if she feared it might slip from her mind and
20196 her fingers, "I have a favor to ask of you."
20197
20198 "Don't you speak so, Miss," said Bob, grasping the skin of Mumps's
20199 neck; "if there's anything I can do for you, I should look upon it as
20200 a day's earnings."
20201
20202 "I want you to go to Dr. Kenn's, and ask to speak to him, and tell him
20203 that I am here, and should be very grateful if he would come to me
20204 while my mother is away. She will not come back till evening."
20205
20206 "Eh, Miss, I'd do it in a minute,--it is but a step,--but Dr. Kenn's
20207 wife lies dead; she's to be buried to-morrow; died the day I come from
20208 Mudport. It's all the more pity she should ha' died just now, if you
20209 want him. I hardly like to go a-nigh him yet."
20210
20211 "Oh no, Bob," said Maggie, "we must let it be,--till after a few days,
20212 perhaps, when you hear that he is going about again. But perhaps he
20213 may be going out of town--to a distance," she added, with a new sense
20214 of despondency at this idea.
20215
20216 "Not he, Miss," said Bob. "_He'll_ none go away. He isn't one o' them
20217 gentlefolks as go to cry at waterin'-places when their wives die; he's
20218 got summat else to do. He looks fine and sharp after the parish, he
20219 does. He christened the little un; an' he was _at_ me to know what I
20220 did of a Sunday, as I didn't come to church. But I told him I was upo'
20221 the travel three parts o' the Sundays,--an' then I'm so used to bein'
20222 on my legs, I can't sit so long on end,--'an' lors, sir,' says I, 'a
20223 packman can do wi' a small 'lowance o' church; it tastes strong,' says
20224 I; 'there's no call to lay it on thick.' Eh, Miss, how good the little
20225 un is wi' you! It's like as if it knowed you; it partly does, I'll be
20226 bound,--like the birds know the mornin'."
20227
20228 Bob's tongue was now evidently loosed from its unwonted bondage, and
20229 might even be in danger of doing more work than was required of it.
20230 But the subjects on which he longed to be informed were so steep and
20231 difficult of approach, that his tongue was likely to run on along the
20232 level rather than to carry him on that unbeaten road. He felt this,
20233 and was silent again for a little while, ruminating much on the
20234 possible forms in which he might put a question. At last he said, in a
20235 more timid voice than usual,--
20236
20237 "Will you give me leave to ask you only one thing, Miss?"
20238
20239 Maggie was rather startled, but she answered, "Yes, Bob, if it is
20240 about myself--not about any one else."
20241
20242 "Well, Miss, it's this. _Do_ you owe anybody a grudge?"
20243
20244 "No, not any one," said Maggie, looking up at him inquiringly. "Why?"
20245
20246 "Oh, lors, Miss," said Bob, pinching Mumps's neck harder than ever. "I
20247 wish you did, an' tell me; I'd leather him till I couldn't see--I
20248 would--an' the Justice might do what he liked to me arter."
20249
20250 "Oh, Bob," said Maggie, smiling faintly, "you're a very good friend to
20251 me. But I shouldn't like to punish any one, even if they'd done me
20252 wrong; I've done wrong myself too often."
20253
20254 This view of things was puzzling to Bob, and threw more obscurity than
20255 ever over what could possibly have happened between Stephen and
20256 Maggie. But further questions would have been too intrusive, even if
20257 he could have framed them suitably, and he was obliged to carry baby
20258 away again to an expectant mother.
20259
20260 "Happen you'd like Mumps for company, Miss," he said when he had taken
20261 the baby again. "He's rare company, Mumps is; he knows iverything, an'
20262 makes no bother about it. If I tell him, he'll lie before you an'
20263 watch you, as still,--just as he watches my pack. You'd better let me
20264 leave him a bit; he'll get fond on you. Lors, it's a fine thing to hev
20265 a dumb brute fond on you; it'll stick to you, an' make no jaw."
20266
20267 "Yes, do leave him, please," said Maggie. "I think I should like to
20268 have Mumps for a friend."
20269
20270 "Mumps, lie down there," said Bob, pointing to a place in front of
20271 Maggie, "and niver do you stir till you're spoke to."
20272
20273 Mumps lay down at once, and made no sign of restlessness when his
20274 master left the room.
20275
20276
20277
20278 Chapter II
20279
20280 St. Ogg's Passes Judgment
20281
20282
20283 It was soon known throughout St. Ogg's that Miss Tulliver was come
20284 back; she had not, then, eloped in order to be married to Mr. Stephen
20285 Guest,--at all events, Mr. Stephen Guest had not married her; which
20286 came to the same thing, so far as her culpability was concerned. We
20287 judge others according to results; how else?--not knowing the process
20288 by which results are arrived at. If Miss Tulliver, after a few months
20289 of well-chosen travel, had returned as Mrs. Stephen Guest, with a
20290 post-marital _trousseau_, and all the advantages possessed even by the
20291 most unwelcome wife of an only son, public opinion, which at St.
20292 Ogg's, as else where, always knew what to think, would have judged in
20293 strict consistency with those results. Public opinion, in these cases,
20294 is always of the feminine gender,--not the world, but the world's
20295 wife; and she would have seen that two handsome young people--the
20296 gentleman of quite the first family in St. Ogg's--having found
20297 themselves in a false position, had been led into a course which, to
20298 say the least of it, was highly injudicious, and productive of sad
20299 pain and disappointment, especially to that sweet young thing, Miss
20300 Deane. Mr. Stephen Guest had certainly not behaved well; but then,
20301 young men were liable to those sudden infatuated attachments; and bad
20302 as it might seem in Mrs. Stephen Guest to admit the faintest advances
20303 from her cousin's lover (indeed it _had_ been said that she was
20304 actually engaged to young Wakem,--old Wakem himself had mentioned it),
20305 still, she was very young,--"and a deformed young man, you know!--and
20306 young Guest so very fascinating; and, they say, he positively worships
20307 her (to be sure, that can't last!), and he ran away with her in the
20308 boat quite against her will, and what could she do? She couldn't come
20309 back then; no one would have spoken to her; and how very well that
20310 maize-colored satinette becomes her complexion! It seems as if the
20311 folds in front were quite come in; several of her dresses are made
20312 so,--they say he thinks nothing too handsome to buy for her. Poor Miss
20313 Deane! She is very pitiable; but then there was no positive
20314 engagement; and the air at the coast will do her good. After all, if
20315 young Guest felt no more for her than _that_ it was better for her not
20316 to marry him. What a wonderful marriage for a girl like Miss
20317 Tulliver,--quite romantic? Why, young Guest will put up for the
20318 borough at the next election. Nothing like commerce nowadays! That
20319 young Wakem nearly went out of his mind; he always _was_ rather queer;
20320 but he's gone abroad again to be out of the way,--quite the best thing
20321 for a deformed young man. Miss Unit declares she will never visit Mr.
20322 and Mrs. Stephen Guest,--such nonsense! pretending to be better than
20323 other people. Society couldn't be carried on if we inquired into
20324 private conduct in that way,--and Christianity tells us to think no
20325 evil,--and my belief is, that Miss Unit had no cards sent her."
20326
20327 But the results, we know, were not of a kind to warrant this
20328 extenuation of the past. Maggie had returned without a _trousseau_,
20329 without a husband,--in that degraded and outcast condition to which
20330 error is well known to lead; and the world's wife, with that fine
20331 instinct which is given her for the preservation of Society, saw at
20332 once that Miss Tulliver's conduct had been of the most aggravated
20333 kind. Could anything be more detestable? A girl so much indebted to
20334 her friends--whose mother as well as herself had received so much
20335 kindness from the Deanes--to lay the design of winning a young man's
20336 affections away from her own cousin, who had behaved like a sister to
20337 her! Winning his affections? That was not the phrase for such a girl
20338 as Miss Tulliver; it would have been more correct to say that she had
20339 been actuated by mere unwomanly boldness and unbridled passion. There
20340 was always something questionable about her. That connection with
20341 young Wakem, which, they said, had been carried on for years, looked
20342 very ill,--disgusting, in fact! But with a girl of that disposition!
20343 To the world's wife there had always been something in Miss Tulliver's
20344 very _physique_ that a refined instinct felt to be prophetic of harm.
20345 As for poor Mr. Stephen Guest, he was rather pitiable than otherwise;
20346 a young man of five-and-twenty is not to be too severely judged in
20347 these cases,--he is really very much at the mercy of a designing, bold
20348 girl. And it was clear that he had given way in spite of himself: he
20349 had shaken her off as soon as he could; indeed, their having parted so
20350 soon looked very black indeed--_for her_. To be sure, he had written a
20351 letter, laying all the blame on himself, and telling the story in a
20352 romantic fashion so as to try and make her appear quite innocent; of
20353 course he would do that! But the refined instinct of the world's wife
20354 was not to be deceived; providentially!--else what would become of
20355 Society? Why, her own brother had turned her from his door; he had
20356 seen enough, you might be sure, before he would do that. A truly
20357 respectable young man, Mr. Tom Tulliver; quite likely to rise in the
20358 world! His sister's disgrace was naturally a heavy blow to him. It was
20359 to be hoped that she would go out of the neighborhood,--to America, or
20360 anywhere,--so as to purify the air of St. Ogg's from the stain of her
20361 presence, extremely dangerous to daughters there! No good could happen
20362 to her; it was only to be hoped she would repent, and that God would
20363 have mercy on her: He had not the care of society on His hands, as the
20364 world's wife had.
20365
20366 It required nearly a fortnight for fine instinct to assure itself of
20367 these inspirations; indeed, it was a whole week before Stephen's
20368 letter came, telling his father the facts, and adding that he was gone
20369 across to Holland,--had drawn upon the agent at Mudport for
20370 money,--was incapable of any resolution at present.
20371
20372 Maggie, all this while, was too entirely filled with a more agonizing
20373 anxiety to spend any thought on the view that was being taken of her
20374 conduct by the world of St. Ogg's; anxiety about Stephen, Lucy,
20375 Philip, beat on her poor heart in a hard, driving, ceaseless storm of
20376 mingled love, remorse, and pity. If she had thought of rejection and
20377 injustice at all, it would have seemed to her that they had done their
20378 worst; that she could hardly feel any stroke from them intolerable
20379 since the words she had heard from her brother's lips. Across all her
20380 anxiety for the loved and the injured, those words shot again and
20381 again, like a horrible pang that would have brought misery and dread
20382 even into a heaven of delights. The idea of ever recovering happiness
20383 never glimmered in her mind for a moment; it seemed as if every
20384 sensitive fibre in her were too entirely preoccupied by pain ever to
20385 vibrate again to another influence. Life stretched before her as one
20386 act of penitence; and all she craved, as she dwelt on her future lot,
20387 was something to guarantee her from more falling; her own weakness
20388 haunted her like a vision of hideous possibilities, that made no peace
20389 conceivable except such as lay in the sense of a sure refuge.
20390
20391 But she was not without practical intentions; the love of independence
20392 was too strong an inheritance and a habit for her not to remember that
20393 she must get her bread; and when other projects looked vague, she fell
20394 back on that of returning to her plain sewing, and so getting enough
20395 to pay for her lodging at Bob's. She meant to persuade her mother to
20396 return to the Mill by and by, and live with Tom again; and somehow or
20397 other she would maintain herself at St. Ogg's. Dr. Kenn would perhaps
20398 help her and advise her. She remembered his parting words at the
20399 bazaar. She remembered the momentary feeling of reliance that had
20400 sprung in her when he was talking with her, and she waited with
20401 yearning expectation for the opportunity of confiding everything to
20402 him. Her mother called every day at Mr. Deane's to learn how Lucy was;
20403 the report was always sad,--nothing had yet roused her from the feeble
20404 passivity which had come on with the first shock. But of Philip, Mrs.
20405 Tulliver had learned nothing; naturally, no one whom she met would
20406 speak to her about what related to her daughter. But at last she
20407 summoned courage to go and see sister Glegg, who of course would know
20408 everything, and had been even to see Tom at the Mill in Mrs.
20409 Tulliver's absence, though he had said nothing of what had passed on
20410 the occasion.
20411
20412 As soon as her mother was gone, Maggie put on her bonnet. She had
20413 resolved on walking to the Rectory and asking to see Dr. Kenn; he was
20414 in deep grief, but the grief of another does not jar upon us in such
20415 circumstances. It was the first time she had been beyond the door
20416 since her return; nevertheless her mind was so bent on the purpose of
20417 her walk, that the unpleasantness of meeting people on the way, and
20418 being stared at, did not occur to her. But she had no sooner passed
20419 beyond the narrower streets which she had to thread from Bob's
20420 dwelling, than she became aware of unusual glances cast at her; and
20421 this consciousness made her hurry along nervously, afraid to look to
20422 right or left. Presently, however, she came full on Mrs. and Miss
20423 Turnbull, old acquaintances of her family; they both looked at her
20424 strangely, and turned a little aside without speaking. All hard looks
20425 were pain to Maggie, but her self-reproach was too strong for
20426 resentment. No wonder they will not speak to me, she thought; they are
20427 very fond of Lucy. But now she knew that she was about to pass a group
20428 of gentlemen, who were standing at the door of the billiard-rooms, and
20429 she could not help seeing young Torry step out a little with his glass
20430 at his eye, and bow to her with that air of _nonchalance_ which he
20431 might have bestowed on a friendly barmaid.
20432
20433 Maggie's pride was too intense for her not to feel that sting, even in
20434 the midst of her sorrow; and for the first time the thought took
20435 strong hold of her that she would have other obloquy cast on her
20436 besides that which was felt to be due to her breach of faith toward
20437 Lucy. But she was at the Rectory now; there, perhaps, she would find
20438 something else than retribution. Retribution may come from any voice;
20439 the hardest, cruelest, most imbruted urchin at the street-corner can
20440 inflict it; surely help and pity are rarer things, more needful for
20441 the righteous to bestow.
20442
20443 She was shown up at once, after being announced, into Dr. Kenn's
20444 study, where he sat amongst piled-up books, for which he had little
20445 appetite, leaning his cheek against the head of his youngest child, a
20446 girl of three. The child was sent away with the servant, and when the
20447 door was closed, Dr. Kenn said, placing a chair for Maggie,--
20448
20449 "I was coming to see you, Miss Tulliver; you have anticipated me; I am
20450 glad you did."
20451
20452 Maggie looked at him with her childlike directness as she had done at
20453 the bazaar, and said, "I want to tell you everything." But her eyes
20454 filled fast with tears as she said it, and all the pent-up excitement
20455 of her humiliating walk would have its vent before she could say more.
20456
20457 "Do tell me everything," Dr. Kenn said, with quiet kindness in his
20458 grave, firm voice. "Think of me as one to whom a long experience has
20459 been granted, which may enable him to help you."
20460
20461 In rather broken sentences, and with some effort at first, but soon
20462 with the greater ease that came from a sense of relief in the
20463 confidence, Maggie told the brief story of a struggle that must be the
20464 beginning of a long sorrow. Only the day before, Dr. Kenn had been
20465 made acquainted with the contents of Stephen's letter, and he had
20466 believed them at once, without the confirmation of Maggie's statement.
20467 That involuntary plaint of hers, "_Oh, I must go_," had remained with
20468 him as the sign that she was undergoing some inward conflict.
20469
20470 Maggie dwelt the longest on the feeling which had made her come back
20471 to her mother and brother, which made her cling to all the memories of
20472 the past. When she had ended, Dr. Kenn was silent for some minutes;
20473 there was a difficulty on his mind. He rose, and walked up and down
20474 the hearth with his hands behind him. At last he seated himself again,
20475 and said, looking at Maggie,--
20476
20477 "Your prompting to go to your nearest friends,--to remain where all
20478 the ties of your life have been formed,--is a true prompting, to which
20479 the Church in its original constitution and discipline responds,
20480 opening its arms to the penitent, watching over its children to the
20481 last; never abandoning them until they are hopelessly reprobate. And
20482 the Church ought to represent the feeling of the community, so that
20483 every parish should be a family knit together by Christian brotherhood
20484 under a spiritual father. But the ideas of discipline and Christian
20485 fraternity are entirely relaxed,--they can hardly be said to exist in
20486 the public mind; they hardly survive except in the partial,
20487 contradictory form they have taken in the narrow communities of
20488 schismatics; and if I were not supported by the firm faith that the
20489 Church must ultimately recover the full force of that constitution
20490 which is alone fitted to human needs, I should often lose heart at
20491 observing the want of fellowship and sense of mutual responsibility
20492 among my own flock. At present everything seems tending toward the
20493 relaxation of ties,--toward the substitution of wayward choice for the
20494 adherence to obligation, which has its roots in the past. Your
20495 conscience and your heart have given you true light on this point,
20496 Miss Tulliver; and I have said all this that you may know what my wish
20497 about you--what my advice to you--would be, if they sprang from my own
20498 feeling and opinion unmodified by counteracting circumstances."
20499
20500 Dr. Kenn paused a little while. There was an entire absence of
20501 effusive benevolence in his manner; there was something almost cold in
20502 the gravity of his look and voice. If Maggie had not known that his
20503 benevolence was persevering in proportion to its reserve, she might
20504 have been chilled and frightened. As it was, she listened expectantly,
20505 quite sure that there would be some effective help in his words. He
20506 went on.
20507
20508 "Your inexperience of the world, Miss Tulliver, prevents you from
20509 anticipating fully the very unjust conceptions that will probably be
20510 formed concerning your conduct,--conceptions which will have a baneful
20511 effect, even in spite of known evidence to disprove them."
20512
20513 "Oh, I do,--I begin to see," said Maggie, unable to repress this
20514 utterance of her recent pain. "I know I shall be insulted. I shall be
20515 thought worse than I am."
20516
20517 "You perhaps do not yet know," said Dr. Kenn, with a touch of more
20518 personal pity, "that a letter is come which ought to satisfy every one
20519 who has known anything of you, that you chose the steep and difficult
20520 path of a return to the right, at the moment when that return was most
20521 of all difficult."
20522
20523 "Oh, where is he?" said poor Maggie, with a flush and tremor that no
20524 presence could have hindered.
20525
20526 "He is gone abroad; he has written of all that passed to his father.
20527 He has vindicated you to the utmost; and I hope the communication of
20528 that letter to your cousin will have a beneficial effect on her."
20529
20530 Dr. Kenn waited for her to get calm again before he went on.
20531
20532 "That letter, as I said, ought to suffice to prevent false impressions
20533 concerning you. But I am bound to tell you, Miss Tulliver, that not
20534 only the experience of my whole life, but my observation within the
20535 last three days, makes me fear that there is hardly any evidence which
20536 will save you from the painful effect of false imputations. The
20537 persons who are the most incapable of a conscientious struggle such as
20538 yours are precisely those who will be likely to shrink from you,
20539 because they will not believe in your struggle. I fear your life here
20540 will be attended not only with much pain, but with many obstructions.
20541 For this reason--and for this only--I ask you to consider whether it
20542 will not perhaps be better for you to take a situation at a distance,
20543 according to your former intention. I will exert myself at once to
20544 obtain one for you."
20545
20546 "Oh, if I could but stop here!" said Maggie. "I have no heart to begin
20547 a strange life again. I should have no stay. I should feel like a
20548 lonely wanderer, cut off from the past. I have written to the lady who
20549 offered me a situation to excuse myself. If I remained here, I could
20550 perhaps atone in some way to Lucy--to others; I could convince them
20551 that I'm sorry. And," she added, with some of the old proud fire
20552 flashing out, "I will not go away because people say false things of
20553 me. They shall learn to retract them. If I must go away at last,
20554 because--because others wish it, I will not go now."
20555
20556 "Well," said Dr. Kenn, after some consideration, "if you determine on
20557 that, Miss Tulliver, you may rely on all the influence my position
20558 gives me. I am bound to aid and countenance you by the very duties of
20559 my office as a parish priest. I will add, that personally I have a
20560 deep interest in your peace of mind and welfare."
20561
20562 "The only thing I want is some occupation that will enable me to get
20563 my bread and be independent," said Maggie. "I shall not want much. I
20564 can go on lodging where I am."
20565
20566 "I must think over the subject maturely," said Dr. Kenn, "and in a few
20567 days I shall be better able to ascertain the general feeling. I shall
20568 come to see you; I shall bear you constantly in mind."
20569
20570 When Maggie had left him, Dr. Kenn stood ruminating with his hands
20571 behind him, and his eyes fixed on the carpet, under a painful sense of
20572 doubt and difficulty. The tone of Stephen's letter, which he had read,
20573 and the actual relations of all the persons concerned, forced upon him
20574 powerfully the idea of an ultimate marriage between Stephen and Maggie
20575 as the least evil; and the impossibility of their proximity in St.
20576 Ogg's on any other supposition, until after years of separation, threw
20577 an insurmountable prospective difficulty over Maggie's stay there. On
20578 the other hand, he entered with all the comprehension of a man who had
20579 known spiritual conflict, and lived through years of devoted service
20580 to his fellow-men, into that state of Maggie's heart and conscience
20581 which made the consent to the marriage a desecration to her; her
20582 conscience must not be tampered with; the principle on which she had
20583 acted was a safer guide than any balancing of consequences. His
20584 experience told him that intervention was too dubious a responsibility
20585 to be lightly incurred; the possible issue either of an endeavor to
20586 restore the former relations with Lucy and Philip, or of counselling
20587 submission to this irruption of a new feeling, was hidden in a
20588 darkness all the more impenetrable because each immediate step was
20589 clogged with evil.
20590
20591 The great problem of the shifting relation between passion and duty is
20592 clear to no man who is capable of apprehending it; the question
20593 whether the moment has come in which a man has fallen below the
20594 possibility of a renunciation that will carry any efficacy, and must
20595 accept the sway of a passion against which he had struggled as a
20596 trespass, is one for which we have no master-key that will fit all
20597 cases. The casuists have become a byword of reproach; but their
20598 perverted spirit of minute discrimination was the shadow of a truth to
20599 which eyes and hearts are too often fatally sealed,--the truth, that
20600 moral judgments must remain false and hollow, unless they are checked
20601 and enlightened by a perpetual reference to the special circumstances
20602 that mark the individual lot.
20603
20604 All people of broad, strong sense have an instinctive repugnance to
20605 the men of maxims; because such people early discern that the
20606 mysterious complexity of our life is not to be embraced by maxims, and
20607 that to lace ourselves up in formulas of that sort is to repress all
20608 the divine promptings and inspirations that spring from growing
20609 insight and sympathy. And the man of maxims is the popular
20610 representative of the minds that are guided in their moral judgment
20611 solely by general rules, thinking that these will lead them to justice
20612 by a ready-made patent method, without the trouble of exerting
20613 patience, discrimination, impartiality,--without any care to assure
20614 themselves whether they have the insight that comes from a hardly
20615 earned estimate of temptation, or from a life vivid and intense enough
20616 to have created a wide fellow-feeling with all that is human.
20617
20618
20619
20620 Chapter III
20621
20622 Showing That Old Acquaintances Are Capable of Surprising Us
20623
20624
20625 When Maggie was at home again, her mother brought her news of an
20626 unexpected line of conduct in aunt Glegg. As long as Maggie had not
20627 been heard of, Mrs. Glegg had half closed her shutters and drawn down
20628 her blinds. She felt assured that Maggie was drowned; that was far
20629 more probable than that her niece and legatee should have done
20630 anything to wound the family honor in the tenderest point. When at
20631 last she learned from Tom that Maggie had come home, and gathered from
20632 him what was her explanation of her absence, she burst forth in severe
20633 reproof of Tom for admitting the worst of his sister until he was
20634 compelled. If you were not to stand by your "kin" as long as there was
20635 a shred of honor attributable to them, pray what were you to stand by?
20636 Lightly to admit conduct in one of your own family that would force
20637 you to alter your will, had never been the way of the Dodsons; and
20638 though Mrs. Glegg had always augured ill of Maggie's future at a time
20639 when other people were perhaps less clear-sighted, yet fair play was a
20640 jewel, and it was not for her own friends to help to rob the girl of
20641 her fair fame, and to cast her out from family shelter to the scorn of
20642 the outer world, until she had become unequivocally a family disgrace.
20643 The circumstances were unprecedented in Mrs. Glegg's experience;
20644 nothing of that kind had happened among the Dodsons before; but it was
20645 a case in which her hereditary rectitude and personal strength of
20646 character found a common channel along with her fundamental ideas of
20647 clanship, as they did in her lifelong regard to equity in money
20648 matters. She quarrelled with Mr. Glegg, whose kindness, flowing
20649 entirely into compassion for Lucy, made him as hard in his judgment of
20650 Maggie as Mr. Deane himself was; and fuming against her sister
20651 Tulliver because she did not at once come to her for advice and help,
20652 shut herself up in her own room with Baxter's "Saints' Rest" from
20653 morning till night, denying herself to all visitors, till Mr. Glegg
20654 brought from Mr. Deane the news of Stephen's letter. Then Mrs. Glegg
20655 felt that she had adequate fighting-ground; then she laid aside
20656 Baxter, and was ready to meet all comers. While Mrs. Pullet could do
20657 nothing but shake her head and cry, and wish that cousin Abbot had
20658 died, or any number of funerals had happened rather than this, which
20659 had never happened before, so that there was no knowing how to act,
20660 and Mrs. Pullet could never enter St. Ogg's again, because
20661 "acquaintances" knew of it all, Mrs. Glegg only hoped that Mrs. Wooll,
20662 or any one else, would come to her with their false tales about her
20663 own niece, and she would know what to say to that ill-advised person!
20664
20665 Again she had a scene of remonstrance with Tom, all the more severe in
20666 proportion to the greater strength of her present position. But Tom,
20667 like other immovable things, seemed only the more rigidly fixed under
20668 that attempt to shake him. Poor Tom! he judged by what he had been
20669 able to see; and the judgment was painful enough to himself. He
20670 thought he had the demonstration of facts observed through years by
20671 his own eyes, which gave no warning of their imperfection, that
20672 Maggie's nature was utterly untrustworthy, and too strongly marked
20673 with evil tendencies to be safely treated with leniency. He would act
20674 on that demonstration at any cost; but the thought of it made his days
20675 bitter to him. Tom, like every one of us, was imprisoned within the
20676 limits of his own nature, and his education had simply glided over
20677 him, leaving a slight deposit of polish; if you are inclined to be
20678 severe on his severity, remember that the responsibility of tolerance
20679 lies with those who have the wider vision. There had arisen in Tom a
20680 repulsion toward Maggie that derived its very intensity from their
20681 early childish love in the time when they had clasped tiny fingers
20682 together, and their later sense of nearness in a common duty and a
20683 common sorrow; the sight of her, as he had told her, was hateful to
20684 him. In this branch of the Dodson family aunt Glegg found a stronger
20685 nature than her own; a nature in which family feeling had lost the
20686 character of clanship by taking on a doubly deep dye of personal
20687 pride.
20688
20689 Mrs. Glegg allowed that Maggie ought to be punished,--she was not a
20690 woman to deny that; she knew what conduct was,--but punished in
20691 proportion to the misdeeds proved against her, not to those which were
20692 cast upon her by people outside her own family who might wish to show
20693 that their own kin were better.
20694
20695 "Your aunt Glegg scolded me so as niver was, my dear," said poor Mrs.
20696 Tulliver, when she came back to Maggie, "as I didn't go to her before;
20697 she said it wasn't for her to come to me first. But she spoke like a
20698 sister, too; _having_ she allays was, and hard to please,--oh
20699 dear!--but she's said the kindest word as has ever been spoke by you
20700 yet, my child. For she says, for all she's been so set again' having
20701 one extry in the house, and making extry spoons and things, and
20702 putting her about in her ways, you shall have a shelter in her house,
20703 if you'll go to her dutiful, and she'll uphold you against folks as
20704 say harm of you when they've no call. And I told her I thought you
20705 couldn't bear to see anybody but me, you were so beat down with
20706 trouble; but she said, '_I_ won't throw ill words at her; there's them
20707 out o' th' family 'ull be ready enough to do that. But I'll give her
20708 good advice; an' she must be humble.' It's wonderful o' Jane; for I'm
20709 sure she used to throw everything I did wrong at me,--if it was the
20710 raisin-wine as turned out bad, or the pies too hot, or whativer it
20711 was."
20712
20713 "Oh, mother," said poor Maggie, shrinking from the thought of all the
20714 contact her bruised mind would have to bear, "tell her I'm very
20715 grateful; I'll go to see her as soon as I can; but I can't see any one
20716 just yet, except Dr. Kenn. I've been to him,--he will advise me, and
20717 help me to get some occupation. I can't live with any one, or be
20718 dependent on them, tell aunt Glegg; I must get my own bread. But did
20719 you hear nothing of Philip--Philip Wakem? Have you never seen any one
20720 that has mentioned him?"
20721
20722 "No, my dear; but I've been to Lucy's, and I saw your uncle, and he
20723 says they got her to listen to the letter, and she took notice o' Miss
20724 Guest, and asked questions, and the doctor thinks she's on the turn to
20725 be better. What a world this is,--what trouble, oh dear! The law was
20726 the first beginning, and it's gone from bad to worse, all of a sudden,
20727 just when the luck seemed on the turn?" This was the first lamentation
20728 that Mrs. Tulliver had let slip to Maggie, but old habit had been
20729 revived by the interview with sister Glegg.
20730
20731 "My poor, poor mother!" Maggie burst out, cut to the heart with pity
20732 and compunction, and throwing her arms round her mother's neck; "I was
20733 always naughty and troublesome to you. And now you might have been
20734 happy if it hadn't been for me."
20735
20736 "Eh, my dear," said Mrs. Tulliver, leaning toward the warm young
20737 cheek; "I must put up wi' my children,--I shall never have no more;
20738 and if they bring me bad luck, I must be fond on it. There's nothing
20739 else much to be fond on, for my furnitur' went long ago. And you'd got
20740 to be very good once; I can't think how it's turned out the wrong way
20741 so!"
20742
20743 Still two or three more days passed, and Maggie heard nothing of
20744 Philip; anxiety about him was becoming her predominant trouble, and
20745 she summoned courage at last to inquire about him of Dr. Kenn, on his
20746 next visit to her. He did not even know if Philip was at home. The
20747 elder Wakem was made moody by an accumulation of annoyance; the
20748 disappointment in this young Jetsome, to whom, apparently, he was a
20749 good deal attached, had been followed close by the catastrophe to his
20750 son's hopes after he had done violence to his own strong feeling by
20751 conceding to them, and had incautiously mentioned this concession in
20752 St. Ogg's; and he was almost fierce in his brusqueness when any one
20753 asked him a question about his son.
20754
20755 But Philip could hardly have been ill, or it would have been known
20756 through the calling in of the medical man; it was probable that he was
20757 gone out of the town for a little while. Maggie sickened under this
20758 suspense, and her imagination began to live more and more persistently
20759 in what Philip was enduring. What did he believe about her?
20760
20761 At last Bob brought her a letter, without a postmark, directed in a
20762 hand which she knew familiarly in the letters of her own name,--a hand
20763 in which her name had been written long ago, in a pocket Shakespeare
20764 which she possessed. Her mother was in the room, and Maggie, in
20765 violent agitation, hurried upstairs that she might read the letter in
20766 solitude. She read it with a throbbing brow.
20767
20768 "Maggie,--I believe in you; I know you never meant to deceive me; I
20769 know you tried to keep faith to me and to all. I believed this
20770 before I had any other evidence of it than your own nature. The
20771 night after I last parted from you I suffered torments. I had seen
20772 what convinced me that you were not free; that there was another
20773 whose presence had a power over you which mine never possessed; but
20774 through all the suggestions--almost murderous suggestions--of rage
20775 and jealousy, my mind made its way to believe in your truthfulness.
20776 I was sure that you meant to cleave to me, as you had said; that
20777 you had rejected him; that you struggled to renounce him, for
20778 Lucy's sake and for mine. But I could see no issue that was not
20779 fatal for _you;_ and that dread shut out the very thought of
20780 resignation. I foresaw that he would not relinquish you, and I
20781 believed then, as I believe now, that the strong attraction which
20782 drew you together proceeded only from one side of your characters,
20783 and belonged to that partial, divided action of our nature which
20784 makes half the tragedy of the human lot. I have felt the vibration
20785 of chords in your nature that I have continually felt the want of
20786 in his. But perhaps I am wrong; perhaps I feel about you as the
20787 artist does about the scene over which his soul has brooded with
20788 love; he would tremble to see it confided to other hands; he would
20789 never believe that it could bear for another all the meaning and
20790 the beauty it bears for him.
20791
20792 "I dared not trust myself to see you that morning; I was filled
20793 with selfish passion; I was shattered by a night of conscious
20794 delirium. I told you long ago that I had never been resigned even
20795 to the mediocrity of my powers; how could I be resigned to the loss
20796 of the one thing which had ever come to me on earth with the
20797 promise of such deep joy as would give a new and blessed meaning to
20798 the foregoing pain,--the promise of another self that would lift my
20799 aching affection into the divine rapture of an ever-springing,
20800 ever-satisfied want?
20801
20802 "But the miseries of that night had prepared me for what came
20803 before the next. It was no surprise to me. I was certain that he
20804 had prevailed on you to sacrifice everything to him, and I waited
20805 with equal certainty to hear of your marriage. I measured your love
20806 and his by my own. But I was wrong, Maggie. There is something
20807 stronger in you than your love for him.
20808
20809 "I will not tell you what I went through in that interval. But even
20810 in its utmost agony--even in those terrible throes that love must
20811 suffer before it can be disembodied of selfish desire--my love for
20812 you sufficed to withhold me from suicide, without the aid of any
20813 other motive. In the midst of my egoism, I yet could not bear to
20814 come like a death-shadow across the feast of your joy. I could not
20815 bear to forsake the world in which you still lived and might need
20816 me; it was part of the faith I had vowed to you,--to wait and
20817 endure. Maggie, that is a proof of what I write now to assure you
20818 of,--that no anguish I have had to bear on your account has been
20819 too heavy a price to pay for the new life into which I have entered
20820 in loving you. I want you to put aside all grief because of the
20821 grief you have caused me. I was nurtured in the sense of privation;
20822 I never expected happiness; and in knowing you, in loving you, I
20823 have had, and still have, what reconciles me to life. You have been
20824 to my affections what light, what color is to my eyes, what music
20825 is to the inward ear, you have raised a dim unrest into a vivid
20826 consciousness. The new life I have found in caring for your joy and
20827 sorrow more than for what is directly my own, has transformed the
20828 spirit of rebellious murmuring into that willing endurance which is
20829 the birth of strong sympathy. I think nothing but such complete and
20830 intense love could have initiated me into that enlarged life which
20831 grows and grows by appropriating the life of others; for before, I
20832 was always dragged back from it by ever-present painful
20833 self-consciousness. I even think sometimes that this gift of
20834 transferred life which has come to me in loving you, may be a new
20835 power to me.
20836
20837 "Then, dear one, in spite of all, you have been the blessing of my
20838 life. Let no self-reproach weigh on you because of me. It is I who
20839 should rather reproach myself for having urged my feelings upon
20840 you, and hurried you into words that you have felt as fetters. You
20841 meant to be true to those words; you _have_ been true. I can
20842 measure your sacrifice by what I have known in only one half-hour
20843 of your presence with me, when I dreamed that you might love me
20844 best. But, Maggie, I have no just claim on you for more than
20845 affectionate remembrance.
20846
20847 "For some time I have shrunk from writing to you, because I have
20848 shrunk even from the appearance of wishing to thrust myself before
20849 you, and so repeating my original error. But you will not
20850 misconstrue me. I know that we must keep apart for a long while;
20851 cruel tongues would force us apart, if nothing else did. But I
20852 shall not go away. The place where you are is the one where my mind
20853 must live, wherever I might travel. And remember that I am
20854 unchangeably yours,--yours not with selfish wishes, but with a
20855 devotion that excludes such wishes.
20856
20857 "God comfort you, my loving, large-souled Maggie. If every one else
20858 has misconceived you, remember that you have never been doubted by
20859 him whose heart recognized you ten years ago.
20860
20861 "Do not believe any one who says I am ill, because I am not seen
20862 out of doors. I have only had nervous headaches,--no worse than I
20863 have sometimes had them before. But the overpowering heat inclines
20864 me to be perfectly quiescent in the daytime. I am strong enough to
20865 obey any word which shall tell me that I can serve you by word or
20866 deed.
20867
20868 "Yours to the last,
20869 "_Philip Wakem_."
20870
20871 As Maggie knelt by the bed sobbing, with that letter pressed under
20872 her, her feelings again and again gathered themselves in a whispered
20873 cry, always in the same words,--
20874
20875 "O God, is there any happiness in love that could make me forget
20876 _their_ pain?"
20877
20878
20879
20880 Chapter IV
20881
20882 Maggie and Lucy
20883
20884
20885 By the end of the week Dr. Kenn had made up his mind that there was
20886 only one way in which he could secure to Maggie a suitable living at
20887 St. Ogg's. Even with his twenty years' experience as a parish priest,
20888 he was aghast at the obstinate continuance of imputations against her
20889 in the face of evidence. Hitherto he had been rather more adored and
20890 appealed to than was quite agreeable to him; but now, in attempting to
20891 open the ears of women to reason, and their consciences to justice, on
20892 behalf of Maggie Tulliver, he suddenly found himself as powerless as
20893 he was aware he would have been if he had attempted to influence the
20894 shape of bonnets. Dr. Kenn could not be contradicted; he was listened
20895 to in silence; but when he left the room, a comparison of opinions
20896 among his hearers yielded much the same result as before. Miss
20897 Tulliver had undeniably acted in a blamable manner, even Dr. Kenn did
20898 not deny that; how, then, could he think so lightly of her as to put
20899 that favorable interpretation on everything she had done? Even on the
20900 supposition that required the utmost stretch of belief,--namely, that
20901 none of the things said about Miss Tulliver were true,--still, since
20902 they _had_ been said about her, they had cast an odor round her which
20903 must cause her to be shrunk from by every woman who had to take care
20904 of her own reputation--and of Society. To have taken Maggie by the
20905 hand and said, "I will not believe unproved evil of you; my lips shall
20906 not utter it; my ears shall be closed against it; I, too, am an erring
20907 mortal, liable to stumble, apt to come short of my most earnest
20908 efforts; your lot has been harder than mine, your temptation greater;
20909 let us help each other to stand and walk without more falling,"--to
20910 have done this would have demanded courage, deep pity, self-knowledge,
20911 generous trust; would have demanded a mind that tasted no piquancy in
20912 evil-speaking, that felt no self-exaltation in condemning, that
20913 cheated itself with no large words into the belief that life can have
20914 any moral end, any high religion, which excludes the striving after
20915 perfect truth, justice, and love toward the individual men and women
20916 who come across our own path. The ladies of St. Ogg's were not
20917 beguiled by any wide speculative conceptions; but they had their
20918 favorite abstraction, called Society, which served to make their
20919 consciences perfectly easy in doing what satisfied their own
20920 egoism,--thinking and speaking the worst of Maggie Tulliver, and
20921 turning their backs upon her. It was naturally disappointing to Dr.
20922 Kenn, after two years of superfluous incense from his feminine
20923 parishioners, to find them suddenly maintaining their views in
20924 opposition to his; but then they maintained them in opposition to a
20925 higher Authority, which they had venerated longer. That Authority had
20926 furnished a very explicit answer to persons who might inquire where
20927 their social duties began, and might be inclined to take wide views as
20928 to the starting-point. The answer had not turned on the ultimate good
20929 of Society, but on "a certain man" who was found in trouble by the
20930 wayside.
20931
20932 Not that St. Ogg's was empty of women with some tenderness of heart
20933 and conscience; probably it had as fair a proportion of human goodness
20934 in it as any other small trading town of that day. But until every
20935 good man is brave, we must expect to find many good women timid,--too
20936 timid even to believe in the correctness of their own best promptings,
20937 when these would place them in a minority. And the men at St. Ogg's
20938 were not all brave, by any means; some of them were even fond of
20939 scandal, and to an extent that might have given their conversation an
20940 effeminate character, if it had not been distinguished by masculine
20941 jokes, and by an occasional shrug of the shoulders at the mutual
20942 hatred of women. It was the general feeling of the masculine mind at
20943 St. Ogg's that women were not to be interfered with in their treatment
20944 of each other.
20945
20946 And thus every direction in which Dr. Kenn had turned, in the hope of
20947 procuring some kind recognition and some employment for Maggie, proved
20948 a disappointment to him. Mrs. James Torry could not think of taking
20949 Maggie as a nursery governess, even temporarily,--a young woman about
20950 whom "such things had been said," and about whom "gentlemen joked";
20951 and Miss Kirke, who had a spinal complaint, and wanted a reader and
20952 companion, felt quite sure that Maggie's mind must be of a quality
20953 with which she, for her part, could not risk _any_ contact. Why did
20954 not Miss Tulliver accept the shelter offered her by her aunt Glegg? It
20955 did not become a girl like her to refuse it. Or else, why did she not
20956 go out of the neighborhood, and get a situation where she was not
20957 known? (It was not, apparently, of so much importance that she should
20958 carry her dangerous tendencies into strange families unknown at St.
20959 Ogg's.) She must be very bold and hardened to wish to stay in a parish
20960 where she was so much stared at and whispered about.
20961
20962 Dr. Kenn, having great natural firmness, began, in the presence of
20963 this opposition, as every firm man would have done, to contract a
20964 certain strength of determination over and above what would have been
20965 called forth by the end in view. He himself wanted a daily governess
20966 for his younger children; and though he had hesitated in the first
20967 instance to offer this position to Maggie, the resolution to protest
20968 with the utmost force of his personal and priestly character against
20969 her being crushed and driven away by slander, was now decisive. Maggie
20970 gratefully accepted an employment that gave her duties as well as a
20971 support; her days would be filled now, and solitary evenings would be
20972 a welcome rest. She no longer needed the sacrifice her mother made in
20973 staying with her, and Mrs. Tulliver was persuaded to go back to the
20974 Mill.
20975
20976 But now it began to be discovered that Dr. Kenn, exemplary as he had
20977 hitherto appeared, had his crotchets, possibly his weaknesses. The
20978 masculine mind of St. Ogg's smiled pleasantly, and did not wonder that
20979 Kenn liked to see a fine pair of eyes daily, or that he was inclined
20980 to take so lenient a view of the past; the feminine mind, regarded at
20981 that period as less powerful, took a more melancholy view of the case.
20982 If Dr. Kenn should be beguiled into marrying that Miss Tulliver! It
20983 was not safe to be too confident, even about the best of men; an
20984 apostle had fallen, and wept bitterly afterwards; and though Peter's
20985 denial was not a close precedent, his repentance was likely to be.
20986
20987 Maggie had not taken her daily walks to the Rectory for many weeks,
20988 before the dreadful possibility of her some time or other becoming the
20989 Rector's wife had been talked of so often in confidence, that ladies
20990 were beginning to discuss how they should behave to her in that
20991 position. For Dr. Kenn, it had been understood, had sat in the
20992 schoolroom half an hour one morning, when Miss Tulliver was giving her
20993 lessons,--nay, he had sat there every morning; he had once walked home
20994 with her,--he almost _always_ walked home with her,--and if not, he
20995 went to see her in the evening. What an artful creature she was! What
20996 a _mother_ for those children! It was enough to make poor Mrs. Kenn
20997 turn in her grave, that they should be put under the care of this girl
20998 only a few weeks after her death. Would he be so lost to propriety as
20999 to marry her before the year was out? The masculine mind was
21000 sarcastic, and thought _not_.
21001
21002 The Miss Guests saw an alleviation to the sorrow of witnessing a folly
21003 in their Rector; at least their brother would be safe; and their
21004 knowledge of Stephen's tenacity was a constant ground of alarm to
21005 them, lest he should come back and marry Maggie. They were not among
21006 those who disbelieved their brother's letter; but they had no
21007 confidence in Maggie's adherence to her renunciation of him; they
21008 suspected that she had shrunk rather from the elopement than from the
21009 marriage, and that she lingered in St. Ogg's, relying on his return to
21010 her. They had always thought her disagreeable; they now thought her
21011 artful and proud; having quite as good grounds for that judgment as
21012 you and I probably have for many strong opinions of the same kind.
21013 Formerly they had not altogether delighted in the contemplated match
21014 with Lucy, but now their dread of a marriage between Stephen and
21015 Maggie added its momentum to their genuine pity and indignation on
21016 behalf of the gentle forsaken girl, in making them desire that he
21017 should return to her. As soon as Lucy was able to leave home, she was
21018 to seek relief from the oppressive heat of this August by going to the
21019 coast with the Miss Guests; and it was in their plans that Stephen
21020 should be induced to join them. On the very first hint of gossip
21021 concerning Maggie and Dr. Kenn, the report was conveyed in Miss
21022 Guest's letter to her brother.
21023
21024 Maggie had frequent tidings through her mother, or aunt Glegg, or Dr.
21025 Kenn, of Lucy's gradual progress toward recovery, and her thoughts
21026 tended continually toward her uncle Deane's house; she hungered for an
21027 interview with Lucy, if it were only for five minutes, to utter a word
21028 of penitence, to be assured by Lucy's own eyes and lips that she did
21029 not believe in the willing treachery of those whom she had loved and
21030 trusted. But she knew that even if her uncle's indignation had not
21031 closed his house against her, the agitation of such an interview would
21032 have been forbidden to Lucy. Only to have seen her without speaking
21033 would have been some relief; for Maggie was haunted by a face cruel in
21034 its very gentleness; a face that had been turned on hers with glad,
21035 sweet looks of trust and love from the twilight time of memory;
21036 changed now to a sad and weary face by a first heart-stroke. And as
21037 the days passed on, that pale image became more and more distinct; the
21038 picture grew and grew into more speaking definiteness under the
21039 avenging hand of remorse; the soft hazel eyes, in their look of pain,
21040 were bent forever on Maggie, and pierced her the more because she
21041 could see no anger in them. But Lucy was not yet able to go to church,
21042 or any place where Maggie could see her; and even the hope of that
21043 departed, when the news was told her by aunt Glegg, that Lucy was
21044 really going away in a few days to Scarborough with the Miss Guests,
21045 who had been heard to say that they expected their brother to meet
21046 them there.
21047
21048 Only those who have known what hardest inward conflict is, can know
21049 what Maggie felt as she sat in her loneliness the evening after
21050 hearing that news from Mrs. Glegg,--only those who have known what it
21051 is to dread their own selfish desires as the watching mother would
21052 dread the sleeping-potion that was to still her own pain.
21053
21054 She sat without candle in the twilight, with the window wide open
21055 toward the river; the sense of oppressive heat adding itself
21056 undistinguishably to the burthen of her lot. Seated on a chair against
21057 the window, with her arm on the windowsill she was looking blankly at
21058 the flowing river, swift with the backward-rushing tide, struggling to
21059 see still the sweet face in its unreproaching sadness, that seemed now
21060 from moment to moment to sink away and be hidden behind a form that
21061 thrust itself between, and made darkness. Hearing the door open, she
21062 thought Mrs. Jakin was coming in with her supper, as usual; and with
21063 that repugnance to trivial speech which comes with languor and
21064 wretchedness, she shrank from turning round and saying she wanted
21065 nothing; good little Mrs. Jakin would be sure to make some well-meant
21066 remarks. But the next moment, without her having discerned the sound
21067 of a footstep, she felt a light hand on her shoulder, and heard a
21068 voice close to her saying, "Maggie!"
21069
21070 The face was there,--changed, but all the sweeter; the hazel eyes were
21071 there, with their heart-piercing tenderness.
21072
21073 "Maggie!" the soft voice said. "Lucy!" answered a voice with a sharp
21074 ring of anguish in it; and Lucy threw her arms round Maggie's neck,
21075 and leaned her pale cheek against the burning brow.
21076
21077 "I stole out," said Lucy, almost in a whisper, while she sat down
21078 close to Maggie and held her hand, "when papa and the rest were away.
21079 Alice is come with me. I asked her to help me. But I must only stay a
21080 little while, because it is so late."
21081
21082 It was easier to say that at first than to say anything else. They sat
21083 looking at each other. It seemed as if the interview must end without
21084 more speech, for speech was very difficult. Each felt that there would
21085 be something scorching in the words that would recall the
21086 irretrievable wrong. But soon, as Maggie looked, every distinct
21087 thought began to be overflowed by a wave of loving penitence, and
21088 words burst forth with a sob.
21089
21090 "God bless you for coming, Lucy."
21091
21092 The sobs came thick on each other after that.
21093
21094 "Maggie, dear, be comforted," said Lucy now, putting her cheek against
21095 Maggie's again. "Don't grieve." And she sat still, hoping to soothe
21096 Maggie with that gentle caress.
21097
21098 "I didn't mean to deceive you, Lucy," said Maggie, as soon as she
21099 could speak. "It always made me wretched that I felt what I didn't
21100 like you to know. It was because I thought it would all be conquered,
21101 and you might never see anything to wound you."
21102
21103 "I know, dear," said Lucy. "I know you never meant to make me unhappy.
21104 It is a trouble that has come on us all; you have more to bear than I
21105 have--and you gave him up, when--you did what it must have been very
21106 hard to do."
21107
21108 They were silent again a little while, sitting with clasped hands, and
21109 cheeks leaned together.
21110
21111 "Lucy," Maggie began again, "_he_ struggled too. He wanted to be true
21112 to you. He will come back to you. Forgive him--he will be happy
21113 then----"
21114
21115 These words were wrung forth from Maggie's deepest soul, with an
21116 effort like the convulsed clutch of a drowning man. Lucy trembled and
21117 was silent.
21118
21119 A gentle knock came at the door. It was Alice, the maid, who entered
21120 and said,--
21121
21122 "I daren't stay any longer, Miss Deane. They'll find it out, and
21123 there'll be such anger at your coming out so late."
21124
21125 Lucy rose and said, "Very well, Alice,--in a minute."
21126
21127 "I'm to go away on Friday, Maggie," she added, when Alice had closed
21128 the door again. "When I come back, and am strong, they will let me do
21129 as I like. I shall come to you when I please then."
21130
21131 "Lucy," said Maggie, with another great effort, "I pray to God
21132 continually that I may never be the cause of sorrow to you any more."
21133
21134 She pressed the little hand that she held between hers, and looked up
21135 into the face that was bent over hers. Lucy never forgot that look.
21136
21137 "Maggie," she said, in a low voice, that had the solemnity of
21138 confession in it, "you are better than I am. I can't----"
21139
21140 She broke off there, and said no more. But they clasped each other
21141 again in a last embrace.
21142
21143
21144
21145 Chapter V
21146
21147 The Last Conflict
21148
21149
21150 In the second week of September, Maggie was again sitting in her
21151 lonely room, battling with the old shadowy enemies that were forever
21152 slain and rising again. It was past midnight, and the rain was beating
21153 heavily against the window, driven with fitful force by the rushing,
21154 loud-moaning wind. For the day after Lucy's visit there had been a
21155 sudden change in the weather; the heat and drought had given way to
21156 cold variable winds, and heavy falls of rain at intervals; and she had
21157 been forbidden to risk the contemplated journey until the weather
21158 should become more settled. In the counties higher up the Floss the
21159 rains had been continuous, and the completion of the harvest had been
21160 arrested. And now, for the last two days, the rains on this lower
21161 course of the river had been incessant, so that the old men had shaken
21162 their heads and talked of sixty years ago, when the same sort of
21163 weather, happening about the equinox, brought on the great floods,
21164 which swept the bridge away, and reduced the town to great misery. But
21165 the younger generation, who had seen several small floods, thought
21166 lightly of these sombre recollections and forebodings; and Bob Jakin,
21167 naturally prone to take a hopeful view of his own luck, laughed at his
21168 mother when she regretted their having taken a house by the riverside,
21169 observing that but for that they would have had no boats, which were
21170 the most lucky of possessions in case of a flood that obliged them to
21171 go to a distance for food.
21172
21173 But the careless and the fearful were alike sleeping in their beds
21174 now. There was hope that the rain would abate by the morrow;
21175 threatenings of a worse kind, from sudden thaws after falls of snow,
21176 had often passed off, in the experience of the younger ones; and at
21177 the very worst, the banks would be sure to break lower down the river
21178 when the tide came in with violence, and so the waters would be
21179 carried off, without causing more than temporary inconvenience, and
21180 losses that would be felt only by the poorer sort, whom charity would
21181 relieve.
21182
21183 All were in their beds now, for it was past midnight; all except some
21184 solitary watchers such as Maggie. She was seated in her little parlor
21185 toward the river, with one candle, that left everything dim in the
21186 room except a letter which lay before her on the table. That letter,
21187 which had come to her to-day, was one of the causes that had kept her
21188 up far on into the night, unconscious how the hours were going,
21189 careless of seeking rest, with no image of rest coming across her
21190 mind, except of that far, far off rest from which there would be no
21191 more waking for her into this struggling earthly life.
21192
21193 Two days before Maggie received that letter, she had been to the
21194 Rectory for the last time. The heavy rain would have prevented her
21195 from going since; but there was another reason. Dr. Kenn, at first
21196 enlightened only by a few hints as to the new turn which gossip and
21197 slander had taken in relation to Maggie, had recently been made more
21198 fully aware of it by an earnest remonstrance from one of his male
21199 parishioners against the indiscretion of persisting in the attempt to
21200 overcome the prevalent feeling in the parish by a course of
21201 resistance. Dr. Kenn, having a conscience void of offence in the
21202 matter, was still inclined to persevere,--was still averse to give way
21203 before a public sentiment that was odious and contemptible; but he was
21204 finally wrought upon by the consideration of the peculiar
21205 responsibility attached to his office, of avoiding the appearance of
21206 evil,--an "appearance" that is always dependent on the average quality
21207 of surrounding minds. Where these minds are low and gross, the area of
21208 that "appearance" is proportionately widened. Perhaps he was in danger
21209 of acting from obstinacy; perhaps it was his duty to succumb.
21210 Conscientious people are apt to see their duty in that which is the
21211 most painful course; and to recede was always painful to Dr. Kenn. He
21212 made up his mind that he must advise Maggie to go away from St. Ogg's
21213 for a time; and he performed that difficult task with as much delicacy
21214 as he could, only stating in vague terms that he found his attempt to
21215 countenance her stay was a source of discord between himself and his
21216 parishioners, that was likely to obstruct his usefulness as a
21217 clergyman. He begged her to allow him to write to a clerical friend of
21218 his, who might possibly take her into his own family as governess;
21219 and, if not, would probably know of some other available position for
21220 a young woman in whose welfare Dr. Kenn felt a strong interest.
21221
21222 Poor Maggie listened with a trembling lip; she could say nothing but a
21223 faint "Thank you, I shall be grateful"; and she walked back to her
21224 lodgings, through the driving rain, with a new sense of desolation.
21225 She must be a lonely wanderer; she must go out among fresh faces, that
21226 would look at her wonderingly, because the days did not seem joyful to
21227 her; she must begin a new life, in which she would have to rouse
21228 herself to receive new impressions; and she was so unspeakably,
21229 sickeningly weary! There was no home, no help for the erring; even
21230 those who pitied were constrained to hardness. But ought she to
21231 complain? Ought she to shrink in this way from the long penance of
21232 life, which was all the possibility she had of lightening the load to
21233 some other sufferers, and so changing that passionate error into a new
21234 force of unselfish human love? All the next day she sat in her lonely
21235 room, with a window darkened by the cloud and the driving rain,
21236 thinking of that future, and wrestling for patience; for what repose
21237 could poor Maggie ever win except by wrestling?
21238
21239 And on the third day--this day of which she had just sat out the
21240 close--the letter had come which was lying on the table before her.
21241
21242 The letter was from Stephen. He was come back from Holland; he was at
21243 Mudport again, unknown to any of his friends, and had written to her
21244 from that place, enclosing the letter to a person whom he trusted in
21245 St. Ogg's. From beginning to end it was a passionate cry of reproach;
21246 an appeal against her useless sacrifice of him, of herself, against
21247 that perverted notion of right which led her to crush all his hopes,
21248 for the sake of a mere idea, and not any substantial good,--_his_
21249 hopes, whom she loved, and who loved her with that single overpowering
21250 passion, that worship, which a man never gives to a woman more than
21251 once in his life.
21252
21253 "They have written to me that you are to marry Kenn. As if I should
21254 believe that! Perhaps they have told you some such fables about me.
21255 Perhaps they tell you I've been 'travelling.' My body has been dragged
21256 about somewhere; but _I_ have never travelled from the hideous place
21257 where you left me; where I started up from the stupor of helpless rage
21258 to find you gone.
21259
21260 "Maggie! whose pain can have been like mine? Whose injury is like
21261 mine? Who besides me has met that long look of love that has burnt
21262 itself into my soul, so that no other image can come there? Maggie,
21263 call me back to you! Call me back to life and goodness! I am banished
21264 from both now. I have no motives; I am indifferent to everything. Two
21265 months have only deepened the certainty that I can never care for life
21266 without you. Write me one word; say 'Come!' In two days I should be
21267 with you. Maggie, have you forgotten what it was to be together,--to
21268 be within reach of a look, to be within hearing of each other's
21269 voice?"
21270
21271 When Maggie first read this letter she felt as if her real temptation
21272 had only just begun. At the entrance of the chill dark cavern, we turn
21273 with unworn courage from the warm light; but how, when we have trodden
21274 far in the damp darkness, and have begun to be faint and weary; how,
21275 if there is a sudden opening above us, and we are invited back again
21276 to the life-nourishing day? The leap of natural longing from under the
21277 pressure of pain is so strong, that all less immediate motives are
21278 likely to be forgotten--till the pain has been escaped from.
21279
21280 For hours Maggie felt as if her struggle had been in vain. For hours
21281 every other thought that she strove to summon was thrust aside by the
21282 image of Stephen waiting for the single word that would bring him to
21283 her. She did not _read_ the letter: she heard him uttering it, and the
21284 voice shook her with its old strange power. All the day before she had
21285 been filled with the vision of a lonely future through which she must
21286 carry the burthen of regret, upheld only by clinging faith. And here,
21287 close within her reach, urging itself upon her even as a claim, was
21288 another future, in which hard endurance and effort were to be
21289 exchanged for easy, delicious leaning on another's loving strength!
21290 And yet that promise of joy in the place of sadness did not make the
21291 dire force of the temptation to Maggie.
21292
21293 It was Stephen's tone of misery, it was the doubt in the justice of
21294 her own resolve, that made the balance tremble, and made her once
21295 start from her seat to reach the pen and paper, and write "Come!"
21296
21297 But close upon that decisive act, her mind recoiled; and the sense of
21298 contradiction with her past self in her moments of strength and
21299 clearness came upon her like a pang of conscious degradation. No, she
21300 must wait; she must pray; the light that had forsaken her would come
21301 again; she should feel again what she had felt when she had fled away,
21302 under an inspiration strong enough to conquer agony,--to conquer love;
21303 she should feel again what she had felt when Lucy stood by her, when
21304 Philip's letter had stirred all the fibres that bound her to the
21305 calmer past.
21306
21307 She sat quite still, far on into the night, with no impulse to change
21308 her attitude, without active force enough even for the mental act of
21309 prayer; only waiting for the light that would surely come again. It
21310 came with the memories that no passion could long quench; the long
21311 past came back to her, and with it the fountains of self-renouncing
21312 pity and affection, of faithfulness and resolve. The words that were
21313 marked by the quiet hand in the little old book that she had long ago
21314 learned by heart, rushed even to her lips, and found a vent for
21315 themselves in a low murmur that was quite lost in the loud driving of
21316 the rain against the window and the loud moan and roar of the wind. "I
21317 have received the Cross, I have received it from Thy hand; I will bear
21318 it, and bear it till death, as Thou hast laid it upon me."
21319
21320 But soon other words rose that could find no utterance but in a
21321 sob,--"Forgive me, Stephen! It will pass away. You will come back to
21322 her."
21323
21324 She took up the letter, held it to the candle, and let it burn slowly
21325 on the hearth. To-morrow she would write to him the last word of
21326 parting.
21327
21328 "I will bear it, and bear it till death. But how long it will be
21329 before death comes! I am so young, so healthy. How shall I have
21330 patience and strength? Am I to struggle and fall and repent again? Has
21331 life other trials as hard for me still?"
21332
21333 With that cry of self-despair, Maggie fell on her knees against the
21334 table, and buried her sorrow-stricken face. Her soul went out to the
21335 Unseen Pity that would be with her to the end. Surely there was
21336 something being taught her by this experience of great need; and she
21337 must be learning a secret of human tenderness and long-suffering, that
21338 the less erring could hardly know? "O God, if my life is to be long,
21339 let me live to bless and comfort----"
21340
21341 At that moment Maggie felt a startling sensation of sudden cold about
21342 her knees and feet; it was water flowing under her. She started up;
21343 the stream was flowing under the door that led into the passage. She
21344 was not bewildered for an instant; she knew it was the flood!
21345
21346 The tumult of emotion she had been enduring for the last twelve hours
21347 seemed to have left a great calm in her; without screaming, she
21348 hurried with the candle upstairs to Bob Jakin's bedroom. The door was
21349 ajar; she went in and shook him by the shoulder.
21350
21351 "Bob, the flood is come! it is in the house; let us see if we can make
21352 the boats safe."
21353
21354 She lighted his candle, while the poor wife, snatching up her baby,
21355 burst into screams; and then she hurried down again to see if the
21356 waters were rising fast. There was a step down into the room at the
21357 door leading from the staircase; she saw that the water was already on
21358 a level with the step. While she was looking, something came with a
21359 tremendous crash against the window, and sent the leaded panes and the
21360 old wooden framework inward in shivers, the water pouring in after it.
21361
21362 "It is the boat!" cried Maggie. "Bob, come down to get the boats!"
21363
21364 And without a moment's shudder of fear, she plunged through the water,
21365 which was rising fast to her knees, and by the glimmering light of the
21366 candle she had left on the stairs, she mounted on to the window-sill,
21367 and crept into the boat, which was left with the prow lodging and
21368 protruding through the window. Bob was not long after her, hurrying
21369 without shoes or stockings, but with the lanthorn in his hand.
21370
21371 "Why, they're both here,--both the boats," said Bob, as he got into
21372 the one where Maggie was. "It's wonderful this fastening isn't broke
21373 too, as well as the mooring."
21374
21375 In the excitement of getting into the other boat, unfastening it, and
21376 mastering an oar, Bob was not struck with the danger Maggie incurred.
21377 We are not apt to fear for the fearless, when we are companions in
21378 their danger, and Bob's mind was absorbed in possible expedients for
21379 the safety of the helpless indoors. The fact that Maggie had been up,
21380 had waked him, and had taken the lead in activity, gave Bob a vague
21381 impression of her as one who would help to protect, not need to be
21382 protected. She too had got possession of an oar, and had pushed off,
21383 so as to release the boat from the overhanging window-frame.
21384
21385 "The water's rising so fast," said Bob, "I doubt it'll be in at the
21386 chambers before long,--th' house is so low. I've more mind to get
21387 Prissy and the child and the mother into the boat, if I could, and
21388 trusten to the water,--for th' old house is none so safe. And if I let
21389 go the boat--but _you_," he exclaimed, suddenly lifting the light of
21390 his lanthorn on Maggie, as she stood in the rain with the oar in her
21391 hand and her black hair streaming.
21392
21393 Maggie had no time to answer, for a new tidal current swept along the
21394 line of the houses, and drove both the boats out on to the wide water,
21395 with a force that carried them far past the meeting current of the
21396 river.
21397
21398 In the first moments Maggie felt nothing, thought of nothing, but that
21399 she had suddenly passed away from that life which she had been
21400 dreading; it was the transition of death, without its agony,--and she
21401 was alone in the darkness with God.
21402
21403 The whole thing had been so rapid, so dreamlike, that the threads of
21404 ordinary association were broken; she sank down on the seat clutching
21405 the oar mechanically, and for a long while had no distinct conception
21406 of her position. The first thing that waked her to fuller
21407 consciousness was the cessation of the rain, and a perception that the
21408 darkness was divided by the faintest light, which parted the
21409 overhanging gloom from the immeasurable watery level below. She was
21410 driven out upon the flood,--that awful visitation of God which her
21411 father used to talk of; which had made the nightmare of her childish
21412 dreams. And with that thought there rushed in the vision of the old
21413 home, and Tom, and her mother,--they had all listened together.
21414
21415 "O God, where am I? Which is the way home?" she cried out, in the dim
21416 loneliness.
21417
21418 What was happening to them at the Mill? The flood had once nearly
21419 destroyed it. They might be in danger, in distress,--her mother and
21420 her brother, alone there, beyond reach of help! Her whole soul was
21421 strained now on that thought; and she saw the long-loved faces looking
21422 for help into the darkness, and finding none.
21423
21424 She was floating in smooth water now,--perhaps far on the overflooded
21425 fields. There was no sense of present danger to check the outgoing of
21426 her mind to the old home; and she strained her eyes against the
21427 curtain of gloom that she might seize the first sight of her
21428 whereabout,--that she might catch some faint suggestion of the spot
21429 toward which all her anxieties tended.
21430
21431 Oh, how welcome, the widening of that dismal watery level, the gradual
21432 uplifting of the cloudy firmament, the slowly defining blackness of
21433 objects above the glassy dark! Yes, she must be out on the fields;
21434 those were the tops of hedgerow trees. Which way did the river lie?
21435 Looking behind her, she saw the lines of black trees; looking before
21436 her, there were none; then the river lay before her. She seized an oar
21437 and began to paddle the boat forward with the energy of wakening hope;
21438 the dawning seemed to advance more swiftly, now she was in action; and
21439 she could soon see the poor dumb beasts crowding piteously on a mound
21440 where they had taken refuge. Onward she paddled and rowed by turns in
21441 the growing twilight; her wet clothes clung round her, and her
21442 streaming hair was dashed about by the wind, but she was hardly
21443 conscious of any bodily sensations,--except a sensation of strength,
21444 inspired by mighty emotion. Along with the sense of danger and
21445 possible rescue for those long-remembered beings at the old home,
21446 there was an undefined sense of reconcilement with her brother; what
21447 quarrel, what harshness, what unbelief in each other can subsist in
21448 the presence of a great calamity, when all the artificial vesture of
21449 our life is gone, and we are all one with each other in primitive
21450 mortal needs? Vaguely Maggie felt this, in the strong resurgent love
21451 toward her brother that swept away all the later impressions of hard,
21452 cruel offence and misunderstanding, and left only the deep,
21453 underlying, unshakable memories of early union.
21454
21455 But now there was a large dark mass in the distance, and near to her
21456 Maggie could discern the current of the river. The dark mass must
21457 be--yes, it was--St. Ogg's. Ah, now she knew which way to look for the
21458 first glimpse of the well-known trees--the gray willows, the now
21459 yellowing chestnuts--and above them the old roof! But there was no
21460 color, no shape yet; all was faint and dim. More and more strongly the
21461 energies seemed to come and put themselves forth, as if her life were
21462 a stored-up force that was being spent in this hour, unneeded for any
21463 future.
21464
21465 She must get her boat into the current of the Floss, else she would
21466 never be able to pass the Ripple and approach the house; this was the
21467 thought that occurred to her, as she imagined with more and more
21468 vividness the state of things round the old home. But then she might
21469 be carried very far down, and be unable to guide her boat out of the
21470 current again. For the first time distinct ideas of danger began to
21471 press upon her; but there was no choice of courses, no room for
21472 hesitation, and she floated into the current. Swiftly she went now
21473 without effort; more and more clearly in the lessening distance and
21474 the growing light she began to discern the objects that she knew must
21475 be the well-known trees and roofs; nay, she was not far off a rushing,
21476 muddy current that must be the strangely altered Ripple.
21477
21478 Great God! there were floating masses in it, that might dash against
21479 her boat as she passed, and cause her to perish too soon. What were
21480 those masses?
21481
21482 For the first time Maggie's heart began to beat in an agony of dread.
21483 She sat helpless, dimly conscious that she was being floated along,
21484 more intensely conscious of the anticipated clash. But the horror was
21485 transient; it passed away before the oncoming warehouses of St. Ogg's.
21486 She had passed the mouth of the Ripple, then; _now_, she must use all
21487 her skill and power to manage the boat and get it if possible out of
21488 the current. She could see now that the bridge was broken down; she
21489 could see the masts of a stranded vessel far out over the watery
21490 field. But no boats were to be seen moving on the river,--such as had
21491 been laid hands on were employed in the flooded streets.
21492
21493 With new resolution, Maggie seized her oar, and stood up again to
21494 paddle; but the now ebbing tide added to the swiftness of the river,
21495 and she was carried along beyond the bridge. She could hear shouts
21496 from the windows overlooking the river, as if the people there were
21497 calling to her. It was not till she had passed on nearly to Tofton
21498 that she could get the boat clear of the current. Then with one
21499 yearning look toward her uncle Deane's house that lay farther down the
21500 river, she took to both her oars and rowed with all her might across
21501 the watery fields, back toward the Mill. Color was beginning to awake
21502 now, and as she approached the Dorlcote fields, she could discern the
21503 tints of the trees, could see the old Scotch firs far to the right,
21504 and the home chestnuts,--oh, how deep they lay in the water,--deeper
21505 than the trees on this side the hill! And the roof of the Mill--where
21506 was it? Those heavy fragments hurrying down the Ripple,--what had they
21507 meant? But it was not the house,--the house stood firm; drowned up to
21508 the first story, but still firm,--or was it broken in at the end
21509 toward the Mill?
21510
21511 With panting joy that she was there at last,--joy that overcame all
21512 distress,--Maggie neared the front of the house. At first she heard no
21513 sound; she saw no object moving. Her boat was on a level with the
21514 upstairs window. She called out in a loud, piercing voice,--
21515
21516 "Tom, where are you? Mother, where are you? Here is Maggie!"
21517
21518 Soon, from the window of the attic in the central gable, she heard
21519 Tom's voice,--
21520
21521 "Who is it? Have you brought a boat?"
21522
21523 "It is I, Tom,--Maggie. Where is mother?"
21524
21525 "She is not here; she went to Garum the day before yesterday. I'll
21526 come down to the lower window."
21527
21528 "Alone, Maggie?" said Tom, in a voice of deep astonishment, as he
21529 opened the middle window, on a level with the boat.
21530
21531 "Yes, Tom; God has taken care of me, to bring me to you. Get in
21532 quickly. Is there no one else?"
21533
21534 "No," said Tom, stepping into the boat; "I fear the man is drowned; he
21535 was carried down the Ripple, I think, when part of the Mill fell with
21536 the crash of trees and stones against it; I've shouted again and
21537 again, and there has been no answer. Give me the oars, Maggie."
21538
21539 It was not till Tom had pushed off and they were on the wide
21540 water,--he face to face with Maggie,--that the full meaning of what
21541 had happened rushed upon his mind. It came with so overpowering a
21542 force,--it was such a new revelation to his spirit, of the depths in
21543 life that had lain beyond his vision, which he had fancied so keen and
21544 clear,--that he was unable to ask a question. They sat mutely gazing
21545 at each other,--Maggie with eyes of intense life looking out from a
21546 weary, beaten face; Tom pale, with a certain awe and humiliation.
21547 Thought was busy though the lips were silent; and though he could ask
21548 no question, he guessed a story of almost miraculous, divinely
21549 protected effort. But at last a mist gathered over the blue-gray eyes,
21550 and the lips found a word they could utter,--the old childish
21551 "Magsie!"
21552
21553 Maggie could make no answer but a long, deep sob of that mysterious,
21554 wondrous happiness that is one with pain.
21555
21556 As soon as she could speak, she said, "We will go to Lucy, Tom; we'll
21557 go and see if she is safe, and then we can help the rest."
21558
21559 Tom rowed with untired vigor, and with a different speed from poor
21560 Maggie's. The boat was soon in the current of the river again, and
21561 soon they would be at Tofton.
21562
21563 "Park House stands high up out of the flood," said Maggie. "Perhaps
21564 they have got Lucy there."
21565
21566 Nothing else was said; a new danger was being carried toward them by
21567 the river. Some wooden machinery had just given way on one of the
21568 wharves, and huge fragments were being floated along. The sun was
21569 rising now, and the wide area of watery desolation was spread out in
21570 dreadful clearness around them; in dreadful clearness floated onward
21571 the hurrying, threatening masses. A large company in a boat that was
21572 working its way along under the Tofton houses observed their danger,
21573 and shouted, "Get out of the current!"
21574
21575 But that could not be done at once; and Tom, looking before him, saw
21576 death rushing on them. Huge fragments, clinging together in fatal
21577 fellowship, made one wide mass across the stream.
21578
21579 "It is coming, Maggie!" Tom said, in a deep, hoarse voice, loosing the
21580 oars, and clasping her.
21581
21582 The next instant the boat was no longer seen upon the water, and the
21583 huge mass was hurrying on in hideous triumph.
21584
21585 But soon the keel of the boat reappeared, a black speck on the golden
21586 water.
21587
21588 The boat reappeared, but brother and sister had gone down in an
21589 embrace never to be parted; living through again in one supreme moment
21590 the days when they had clasped their little hands in love, and roamed
21591 the daisied fields together.
21592
21593 Conclusion
21594
21595 Nature repairs her ravages,--repairs them with her sunshine, and with
21596 human labor. The desolation wrought by that flood had left little
21597 visible trace on the face of the earth, five years after. The fifth
21598 autumn was rich in golden cornstacks, rising in thick clusters among
21599 the distant hedgerows; the wharves and warehouses on the Floss were
21600 busy again, with echoes of eager voices, with hopeful lading and
21601 unlading.
21602
21603 And every man and woman mentioned in this history was still living,
21604 except those whose end we know.
21605
21606 Nature repairs her ravages, but not all. The uptorn trees are not
21607 rooted again; the parted hills are left scarred; if there is a new
21608 growth, the trees are not the same as the old, and the hills
21609 underneath their green vesture bear the marks of the past rending. To
21610 the eyes that have dwelt on the past, there is no thorough repair.
21611
21612 Dorlcote Mill was rebuilt. And Dorlcote churchyard--where the brick
21613 grave that held a father whom we know, was found with the stone laid
21614 prostrate upon it after the flood--had recovered all its grassy order
21615 and decent quiet.
21616
21617 Near that brick grave there was a tomb erected, very soon after the
21618 flood, for two bodies that were found in close embrace; and it was
21619 visited at different moments by two men who both felt that their
21620 keenest joy and keenest sorrow were forever buried there.
21621
21622 One of them visited the tomb again with a sweet face beside him; but
21623 that was years after.
21624
21625 The other was always solitary. His great companionship was among the
21626 trees of the Red Deeps, where the buried joy seemed still to hover,
21627 like a revisiting spirit.
21628
21629 The tomb bore the names of Tom and Maggie Tulliver, and below the
21630 names it was written,--
21631
21632 "In their death they were not divided."